Calm AF
333 episodes - English - Latest episode: 18 days ago - ★★★★★ - 60 ratingsCalm AF is the podcast for people who are hard on themselves: the over-thinkers, people-pleasers, energy managers, perfectionists, and over-achievers. Kristen Finch is a life coach who teaches you how to quiet the incessant negative chatter inside your head - and how to axe your anxiety - so you can manifest the life you are meant to live. Grab a coffee and join in, because today is the day you get Calm AF.
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Episodes
One Thought Can Change Your Life
September 30, 2020 07:00 - 13 minutes - 18.9 MBApplication for 1:1 coaching To celebrate the 100th episode of Show Up and Love, I am reflecting on WHY I do this podcast: to plant seeds of possibility. And I’m sharing a story of a client who had ONE thought that literally changed her life. Even if it seems like you have a million different things you want to change, ONE thought can change your life.
How To Feel One Notch Better
September 23, 2020 07:00 - 16 minutes - 22.9 MBApply to work with Kristen The transformation we see on social media or on tv seems sexy...the homeless person who becomes a gajillionaire, the couch potato who runs the marathon. But that really isn’t how transformation *actually* works. On today’s episode I’m sharing: ~ the three stages of transformation ~ why inspiration is NOT a necessary ingredient for change ~ 4 ways to feel ONE notch better so you keep moving forward and stop quitting on yourself
Acceptance Does Not Mean Giving Up
September 16, 2020 07:00 - 15 minutes - 21.4 MBApply to work with Kristen Acceptance is one of the fundamental ingredients in creating a life you want to live. But it gets a bad rap. In today’s episode I’m sharing what acceptance actually means and what it doesn’t mean: Acceptance doesn’t mean giving up. It doesn’t mean condoning. It doesn’t mean settling. It doesn’t mean trying to convince yourself to LIKE something you don’t like. Acceptance simply means acknowledging what is REAL, what is TRUE so that you stop fighting...
How To Ask Yourself Better Questions To Get Better Results
September 09, 2020 07:00 - 16 minutes - 23.2 MBApply to work with Kristen The types of questions you ask yourself every day MATTERS. If you are asking yourself low quality questions rooted in fear or confusion, you will get low quality results. Today I’m sharing three tips to get you asking yourself high level, high quality questions so that you can manifest a life you WANT to live.
Is Your Inner Boss A Bully?
September 02, 2020 07:00 - 16 minutes - 22.2 MBApply to work with Kristen There are two types of bosses: the type that lead through fear, intimidation and shame (bully) and the type that inspire and motivate people (visionary). Most people’s bosses in their HEADS are bullies. They have a belief that if you lead through love or encouragement, you won’t work as hard. In today’s episode, I”m challenging that belief and suggesting that managing your mind as a visionary instead of a bully will lead to faster change that is sustainable.
Push Pause
August 26, 2020 07:00 - 12 minutes - 16.6 MBApply to work with Kristen Sometimes it feels like life is just one big emergency. We feel like we’re reacting to whatever is thrown at us when we COULD just push pause. Most decisions are NOT life or death. Push pause. Breathe. Ask for help. Trust the answer.
3 Basic Truths About Thoughts That You Weren’t Taught
August 19, 2020 07:00 - 15 minutes - 21 MBCoaching will change your damn life. Click here to apply to work with me (spots opening in the fall..get on the waitlist now). This episode is one you’ll want to listen to again and again. I am sharing three truths about how your brain works and how your thoughts work that are fundamental in creating real and sustainable change in your life. 1. You are not your thoughts. 2. Don’t believe every thought you think. 3. You (and you alone) are in charge of your thoughts and feelings. Li...
5 Mindset Shifts To Keep You Moving Forward
August 12, 2020 07:00 - 14 minutes - 19.7 MBWhen you're moving forward on the path to your future Self, there *will* be mental blocks that show up. In last week’s episode I shared 5 common mental blocks that show up and today I’m sharing 5 mindset shifts (aka thoughts to think on purpose) to practice so you don’t get stuck there. Application to work with Kristen Join the FB group
How To Create Your New Normal, Stop Stopping and Become Your Future Self
August 05, 2020 07:00 - 17 minutes - 24.4 MBSchedule a consultation Join the FB group Yes, 2020 has been a year that has made us all feel like someone has pushed pause on life. But life hasn’t paused. Instead of waiting for things to go back to normal, we have this amazing opportunity to create a NEW normal, to manifest a new future, to Become the best version of yourself. It’s time to decide to get up, start moving forward and KEEP moving forward. In today’s episode I’m sharing 5 common obstacles people face that make the...
Rewiring An Old Story
July 29, 2020 07:00 - 18 minutes - 25.5 MBSchedule a free consult with Kristen Join the FB group I recently created a NEW habit in my life: I changed the song I sing while I wash my hands (from ABC’s to Britney....obvs). And while this new wiring isn’t going to significantly impact my life, I noticed that I used the EXACT same process to rewire THIS habit as I did to rewire other old stories in my life.
Boundaries, Bouncers + Self Worth
July 22, 2020 07:00 - 17 minutes - 24.5 MBLearn more about Kristen’s 1:1 coaching program If you are working on believing that you are WORTHY, boundaries are non-negotiable. In today’s episode I’m sharing a SIMPLE and NEW way of thinking about boundaries that you can start practicing today.
How I’m Practicing Self Love When Life Feels HEAVY
July 15, 2020 07:00 - 23 minutes - 32 MBTalk to me about coaching Join the FB group ---------------------------------------------------- I’m not sure if you’ve noticed, but the world is upside down and on fire. There’s a LOT going on in the world. And just because I’m a mindset expert and life coach does NOT mean I’m immune from the heaviness of it all. In today’s episode I’m sharing what self care looks like for me in the current state of upside-downness: ~ Why trying to power your way through is perpetuating the pain...
The Perfection Box
July 08, 2020 07:00 - 25 minutes - 35.4 MBSchedule a free consult Join the FB group ------------------------------------------ In today’s epsisode I’m teaching you about the Perfection Box (the Worthy Ladder’s sidekick). I’ll be sharing: ~ what the Perfection Box is and why we are hardwired to try to fit into it ~ why what you think of as a flaw might ACTUALLY be a superpower ~ HOW to stop trying to SQUISH ourselves into a box, into a personality, we don’t fit into ~ how your life changes when you get RID OF THE BOX
Perfectionism
July 01, 2020 07:00 - 26 minutes - 36.5 MBPerfectionism blocks your joy. It keeps your from living your life. It stands between YOU and peace of mind. In today’s episode I’m sharing: ~ the many different ways perfectionism shows up ~ WHY so many of us develop a perfectionist mindset ~ why trying to be perfect sucks ~ how to start embracing imperfection ------------------------------- Click here to schedule your free consult. Join the Show Up and Love FB group
People Pleasing
June 24, 2020 07:00 - 21 minutes - 29 MBDo you find yourself saying YES when you want to say no? Do you rehash old conversations wondering if you said the right thing? Do you spend time worrying about if other people are mad at you? Do you feel like you’re walking on eggshells so your partner or mom or whoever don’t get upset? These are just a few ways that people pleasing shows up. In today’s episode I’m sharing: ~ how people pleasing shows up ~ WHY we are people pleasers ~ 3 ways to get OFF the sucky people pleas...
How To Make The Hardest Part of Your Day BETTER
June 17, 2020 07:00 - 22 minutes - 30.9 MBBook a free consult We all tend to have “that” time of the day...the part of your day that you dread, that you just hope to survive, the HARDEST part of your day. For most people, the hardest part is either the morning, the late afternoon/before dinner hour or the very end of the day...after you’re done but before bed. In today’s episode I share with you how to take this difficult part of your day and make it BETTER. Because the truth is, while it’s your thoughts that will ultimately ...
How To Know What To Do (When You Think You Don’t)
June 10, 2020 07:00 - 21 minutes - 29.4 MBApply for my 1:1 coaching program “I don’t know" They seem like three harmless words, and most of us throw these words around mindlessly and easily. But these words are actually harmful, keep you in the feeling states of overwhelm and helplessness and perpetuate your suffering We use I don’t know when we’re afraid to fail. When we’re afraid to be wrong. When we’re afraid to be SEEN as wrong. I don’t know is an excuse that leads to shutting down. If you want an answer to your ques...
Do The Work.
June 03, 2020 07:00 - 2 minutes - 3.99 MBToday the message I want to share is about unlearning racism and becoming anti-racist. Showing up and loving cannot co-exist without equity. However, I am not the teacher of this movement, I am a student. Instead of listening to me today, please look at the list of resources I have included here, choose an article, a podcast, a book, a course and spend your time here. BOOKS: How to Be An Anti-Racist by Ibram X Kendi (may be on backorder, but is available on audible for immediate listen)...
Addicted to Approval
May 27, 2020 07:00 - 20 minutes - 28.1 MBApproval addiction is when your self worth is defined by other people’s opinions of you. When you can only feel worthy or good enough when other people SHOW their approval. Approval addicts need validation from external sources in order to feel enough and ANY criticism proves they are NOT worthy. In today’s episode, I’m sharing ~ the MANY different ways approval addiction shows up for people (people pleasing, hiding, attention seeking, etc) ~ the 3 steps to break an addiction to othe...
Why Self Love Feels So Hard
May 20, 2020 07:00 - 21 minutes - 28.9 MBYou are WORTHY of liking your self and your life. I can help you create that. Fill out an application to work with me in my 6-month 1:1 coaching program. I hear it all the time: I *get* the concept of self love...it just feels hard. Of COURSE it does. You were born into and have bought into a society that persistently teaches you that you aren’t enough. You have been taught since childhood that getting the approval of others is what decided whether you were worthy. And you have be...
Being Hard On Yourself Isn’t Helping...It’s Hurting
May 13, 2020 07:00 - 24 minutes - 33.9 MBClick to apply for my 1:1 coaching program Join the FB group We all have a voice that chatters away in our heads. For most of us, that voice is...not the nicest. It’s not really pointing out our successes...it’s reminding us of our flaws. THIS is why we numb out. To quiet the voice. But all numbing out does is make the voice come back louder. In today’s episode we’re learning ~ what the inner critic is and how it shows up ~ why we are so resistant to changing our inner critic ...
CHANGE YOUR LIFE (PART 4): Change your brain
May 06, 2020 07:00 - 27 minutes - 38.3 MBApply for coaching with Kristen Join the FB group Your brain is a powerful machine that has been programmed by YOU for your entire life. You have chosen the thoughts that have led to the feelings that have created the actions that have created the reality you have right now. Which means...if you want to change your life, you MUST change your brain. In today’s episode I’m sharing the 5 steps that will allow you to rewire your brain for happiness. Also, I’m giving you a heads up on the 4...
CHANGE YOUR LIFE (PART 3): The thing that keeps you from what you want
April 29, 2020 07:00 - 31 minutes - 28.5 MBIf you want to create what you WANT, you have to have awareness of what’s keeping you stuck. In part 3 of How to Change Your Life series, I’m sharing the 7 most COMMON thought patterns that people think that keep them creating Listen to today’s episode and find out which pattern (or patterns) is keeping YOU stuck. If you want to work with Kristen, fill out an application and schedule a call for info. Join the FB community.
HOW TO CHANGE YOUR LIFE (PART 2): What you THINK matters more than what you DO
April 22, 2020 07:00 - 20 minutes - 18.3 MBApply for my 1:1 coaching program Join my Fb group We’ve been programmed to believe that willpower and grit and pushing through and taking action is what’s going to create success. But, no. I mean, what you do DOES matter, but what you THINK matters more. Because what you THINK creates how you FEEL. And how you FEEL dictates what you DO. If you are constantly moving through your life beating yourself up, being hard on yourself, focusing on feeling BAD to motivate yourself, you...
HOW TO CHANGE YOUR LIFE (PART ONE): Your Conscious and Subconscious Minds
April 15, 2020 07:00 - 23 minutes - 21.9 MBApply for my 1:1 coaching program here. Connect with me on FB or IG You cannot create lasting lifelong changes if you keep thinking the same way you’re thinking now. In order to change your life, you must change your thoughts. In order to do THAT, you need to understand WHY your thinking matters and HOW your thinking actually does create your reality. In part one of How To Change Your Life, I’m sharing: ~ why it feels hard to create real change that *lasts* ~ why most peopl...
6 THINGS I STOPPED DOING THAT TRANSFORMED MY NEURODIVERSE MARRIAGE
April 08, 2020 07:00 - 25 minutes - 23.5 MBApply for my 1:1 coaching program Join the Show Up and Love Facebook group This episode is NOT just for people in neurodiverse relationships, it will help ANYONE in ANY relationship. When my husband was diagnosed with Aspergers 5 years into our marriage, I googled "married to someone with Aspergers". The stories and articles that came up were completely discouraging. Everything said that these neurodiverse relationships don't usually work, but if they DO work, the neurotypical partner ...
YOUR LIFE IS STILL HAPPENING...HOW TO KEEP SHOWING UP
April 03, 2020 07:00 - 10 minutes - 9.67 MBApply for a spot in my 1:1 coaching program (This bonus episode comes from a FB live in the Show Up and Love Facebook group.) Just because you are social distancing, just because you are working from home, just because the world outside looks DIFFERENT...YOUR LIFE IS STILL HAPPENING. In this quick bonus episode I share why it's SO important to keep showing up for your SELF and your LIFE and how to do that, when you feel so much uncertainty.
FINDING EMOTIONAL BALANCE DURING A CRISIS
April 01, 2020 07:00 - 25 minutes - 23 MBApply for 1:1 coaching program Join the FB group Right now the world feels overwhelming. It feels heavy. It feels uncertain. And YES there are very bad and serious things happening in the world right now, but not EVERY moment needs to feel dark. The Universe is created in a principle of balance. Yin and yang. Light AND dark. Good AND bad. There is uncertainty AND hope. In today's episode of Show Up and Love, I'm sharing: ~ why reality is starting to set in for so many ~ wh...
HOW TO HANDLE ALL THESE FEELINGS (during coronavirus + in crisis)
March 27, 2020 01:30 - 7 minutes - 6.78 MBJoin the Show Up and Love FB group Schedule a call to learn about working with Kristen 1:1 During this coronavirus pandemic, particularly at the BEGINNING of this situation, there tend to be a lot of feelings. A LOT of feelings. And our human nature is to AVOID these feelings or JUDGE these feelings or try to FIX these feelings. The problem with that is that it only prolongs the suffering. In today's mini bonus episode (recorded during a FB live in the Show Up and Love FB group), I ...
5 QUESTIONS TO ASK YOURSELF DAILY
March 25, 2020 07:00 - 20 minutes - 18.8 MBToday I'm sharing 5 questions that I use to shift my mindset from anxiety to confidence, from fear to calm. Schedule a free call to learn about working with Kristen Join the Fb group
HOW TO FEEL FEAR WITHOUT BEING CONSUMED BY IT
March 19, 2020 15:33 - 15 minutes - 13.9 MBI've heard from so many people that things are starting to feel REAL. The initial shock is wearing off and the fear is setting in. But we are in a LONG game and the self care needs to begin NOW. Today I'm sharing how we can feel the feelings without drowning in them. How we can FEEL the fear without being CONSUMED by the FEAR. ~ Fact thinking vs Story thinking ~ Clean pain vs dirty pain ~ How to pace yourself for the long game (tread and float, tread and float) Join the Show Up ...
RAISING YOUR VIBRATION WHILE SOCIAL DISTANCING
March 18, 2020 07:00 - 29 minutes - 26.8 MBMost of the world is social distancing and finding that without the daily commutes and busy-ness, we have more time. More time with our minds and more time with our homes. So, how do we take advantage of this time? I asked feng shui expert Amanda Gibby Peters for the three things SHE is recommending to lift the vibration of your home. (And you'll be surprised at the one thing she's NOT recommending people do right now). I also added the three things I believe will help us thrive durin...
TAKING CARE OF YOUR MENTAL HEALTH DURING CORONAVIRUS
March 17, 2020 23:01 - 17 minutes - 16.4 MBWhat's true is that we ARE in a time of uncertainty. What's TRUE is that we don't know what life is going to look like in a year or 6 months or 6 days. What's TRUE is that there is a global pandemic that we are not experts in yet. That is where we ARE right now and, aside from what we know to slow it down (hand washing, social distancing, etc), the incessant thinking and worrying and STRESSING about it is NOT helpful. You aren't solving the problem, you are WORRYING. Your worrying...
WHY WORRYING ISN'T HELPFUL AND HOW TO STOP
March 16, 2020 19:20 - 16 minutes - 14.9 MBI was talking to a client today who was trying to convince me that worrying was justified right now because of the state of the world. I disagree completely. Worrying is never a productive use of our time. And worrying happens because we want to AVOID the uncomfortableness of anxiety and fear. Worrying does not solve problems. It creates more of the same. In today's bonus episode: ~ why FEELING the fear is more productive than FIXING it ~ why worrying is an ACTION that comes fro...
FINDING CALM DURING CORONAVIRUS
March 15, 2020 14:28 - 21 minutes - 19.6 MBRight now, we are living in a time of uncertainty. Our brains do NOT like uncertainty. Our brains want to know what's going to happen. So when we are in a time of uncertainty, our brains think they need MORE information, ALL the information in order to feel safe. I promise you that all of the consuming and all of the worrying and all of the panicking is NOT making you feel safer...it's making you feel like there's MORE. If you want to feel calm, you need to calm down your body so y...
MY 5 NON NEGOTIABLE DAILY HABITS
March 11, 2020 07:00 - 25 minutes - 23.4 MBLearn about working with Kristen 1:1 (don't wait! 1 spot open!) Join the Show Up and Love Facebook group There are a lot of habits I've implemented over the last 10 years that have transformed my life. Some have stuck around for awhile and some have gotten dropped. Today I'm sharing the top 5 habits I practice every single day that I believe are responsible for creating: a happy marriage a happy +healthy relationship with my body, food and exercise an uncluttered home a fantast...
HOW TO STAY COMMITTED TO YOUR GOALS NO MATTER WHAT
March 04, 2020 08:00 - 21 minutes - 19.7 MBSet up a free call to see if 1:1 coaching with Kristen is the right fit for you. Join the Show Up and Love FB group ------------------------------------------------ In today's episode ~ I share how I transformed my entire life even though my entire life felt like a dumpster fire ~ The 2 things people mistakenly think they need in order to start making changes in their life, but DON'T (a plan and a guarantee) ~ Why COMMITMENT is all you need to create the life (marriage, habits, c...
MANIFESTING WHAT YOU WANT
February 26, 2020 08:00 - 26 minutes - 24.5 MBLearn more about working 1:1 with Kristen Join the Show Up and LOVE FB group Connect on IG ------------------------------------------- In this episode: ~What does manifesting actually mean? ~ The myths and misconceptions about manifesting ~ Why you are already a MASTER manifester ~ The 6 steps to Manifesting On Purpose ~ Three quick tips to enhance the manifesting process
THE WORTHY LADDER
February 19, 2020 08:00 - 20 minutes - 19 MBLearn more about working with Kristen Join the FB group In this episode: ~ What is the Worthy Ladder? It's a visual representation of how you measure up as a human being. You go UP, you're more worthy, you make mistakes....down you go. ~ Why we believe that our worthiness goes up and down based on our behaviors or others' opinions. ~ How do we know when we're ON the worthy ladder? (perfectionism, people pleasing, anxiety, hopelessness, being confused "I don't know" syndrome, lots o...
FEAR OF FAILURE
February 12, 2020 08:00 - 31 minutes - 29.1 MBLearn about working with Kristen 1:1 Join the Show Up and Love Facebook group Connect on Instagram Learn more. --------------------------------------------------- In this episode: ~ Why it's not *actually* the failure that you're afraid of ~ How fear of failure is affecting your day to day life (whether you're working on a "big" goal or not) ~ The three steps of "becoming friends" with failure: 1) recognize it when it shows up 2)Welcome and allow it 3) Fail. On Purpose. A lot.
GETTING UNSTUCK
February 05, 2020 08:00 - 26 minutes - 24.3 MBwww.kristenfinch.com Come meet some gorgeous souls in the Show Up and Love Facebook group -------------------------------------- In this episode: ~ Why your STORY is what's keeping you stuck ~ The 2 types of stories (and how to recognize them): Victim story and empowered story ~ WHY we hold onto our victim stories? ~ HOW to create and LIVE in our empowered story
SELF WORTH
January 29, 2020 08:00 - 33 minutes - 30.6 MBJoin the free Show Up and Love Facebook group Curious about working with Kristen? Click here. ------------------------------------------------------ In this episode: ~ Self Worth is the belief that you are good enough no matter what. ~ Why I believe making Self Love/Self Worth your #1 priority will make your whole life better ~ Why you believe your worthiness is dependent on external things in the first place. ~ How to get off the Worthy Ladder (Hint: There is no ladder) ~ ...
Stop Trying to Do it Perfectly...Do THIS instead.
January 22, 2020 08:00 - 17 minutes - 16.3 MBCurious about working with me? I KNOW you know what to do...I can just help you do it quicker. And funner. ;) Join the Show Up and Love Facebook group ------------------------------------------- Over the weekend, a client of mine (whom I've been working with for more than 5 years now) shared with me the tool that was the MOST transformative one for her was one of my FAVORITE and SIMPLEST tools: Do it sh!tty. Here's why it's so simple...because we've been taught that life is complica...
The Simple Word That's Sabotaging You
January 15, 2020 08:00 - 27 minutes - 24.7 MBApply to work 1:1 with Kristen Join the Show UP and Love FB group. -------------------------------- "Things are getting better, but still not great." "I feel much better, but I'm not remembering to work on my goal every day." It seems like you're just answering the question honestly, right? But as a coach I am sifting through my client's words trying to find what's keeping them STUCK. Sometimes it's like I'm sifting through rubble trying to find a key. And sometimes, it's EASY...
Top 10 Things to QUIT in 2020
January 08, 2020 08:00 - 21 minutes - 19.3 MBWork with me in 2020 Join the Show Up and Love Facebook Group ------------------------------------ Today I'm taking you through my Top 10 list of things to QUIT in 2020. Here they are: 10. Assuming you know what people are thinking 9. Quit thinking/doing/choosing anything that doesn't serve who you are Becoming. 8. Trying to PROVE your worth 7. Survival mode 6. Instant gratification 5. Living in the past or the future 4. Trying to hate/punish your way to feeling better...
Gorgeous Goals (part 2): 4 Tips to STICK To Your Goals in 2020
January 01, 2020 08:00 - 22 minutes - 21 MBTalk to Kristen about coaching in 2020 ---------------------------------------------------------- Now that we've set some gorgeous goals, let's talk about how to STICK to them. Here are 4 tips: 1. Write them down daily 2. Put actions on your daily calendar (and honor your commitments to yourself) 3. Develop a "never give up" mindset and redefine your definition of failure 4. Unlearn the beliefs that created the results you didn't want
Gorgeous Goals (part 1): How To Set Goals You Will WANT To Work On All Year Long
December 25, 2019 08:00 - 22 minutes - 20.7 MBSign up for Gorgeous Souls Gorgeous Goals workshop on Dec 30th. (If you can't make it live, you'll get the recording) Learn more about working with Kristen ------------------------------------------------------ The reason why traditional goals don't work for the majority of people is because they aren't meaningful and they are based in "not enough-ness". Let's turn goal writing on it's head. The reason you want anything is because of how it will make you feel. So instead of a quanti...
Let's LEVEL UP in 2020
December 18, 2019 08:00 - 24 minutes - 22.7 MBSchedule a free consult call with Kristen Join the Show Up and Love Facebook group Register for the Gorgeous Souls Gorgeous Goals goal setting workshop --------------------------------------- We are two weeks from a brand new decade. If you are ready to level up, there are two things you need to do: 1. Decide what you need to leave behind in 2019 2. Decide who you are BECOMING and how you want to FEEL. If you want to change how you feel, you've can't keep doing the same things ...
How To Get Out Of Survival Mode and Live Your Best Life
December 11, 2019 08:00 - 31 minutes - 28.9 MBSchedule a consult with Kristen Join the Show Up and Love Facebook group How much of your life is spent waking up, going through the motions, and then going to bed? That's because you aren't living on PURPOSE. You're living in survival mode. You're waiting for life to get easier, for the husband to change, for the money to come in, for the kids to get older until you feel like you can slow down and live your life. Except that's not going to happen. Because your brain is habituall...
Self Care is A Band Aid, Self LOVE is the cure
December 04, 2019 08:00 - 26 minutes - 24 MBWork with Kristen Join the Show Up and Love Facebook group! We hear over and over how important it is to practice self care. And that's TRUE. But all the meditation, yoga, healthy eating, massages, and spa days in the world won't make you feel better LONG term if you don't know your WORTH. Today, Kristen shares the WHY self care is the band aid and self LOVE is the cure.