Relaxing with Rob artwork

Relaxing with Rob

75 episodes - English - Latest episode: almost 4 years ago - ★★★★★ - 24 ratings

Learn strategies to reduce stress and increase mindfulness.

Self-Improvement Education Health & Fitness stress management relaxation mindfulness stress relax college imagery meditation stress reduction coping with stress
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Episodes

Be Kind to Yourself

May 31, 2020 14:00 - 9 minutes - 6.58 MB

There’s enough criticism in the world without targeting yourself. Jess Glynne’s 2015 song, “Don’t Be So Hard On Yourself” expresses this nicely. To offer feedback on my podcast, please write to: [email protected]

Be Kind to Yourself

May 31, 2020 14:00 - 9 minutes - 6.58 MB

There’s enough criticism in the world without targeting yourself. Jess Glynne’s 2015 song, “Don’t Be So Hard On Yourself” expresses this nicely. To offer feedback on my podcast, please write to: [email protected]

Distinguish Problems from Inconveniences

May 24, 2020 14:00 - 7 minutes - 5 MB

You might be less anxious if you recalibrate your stress meter and consider some problems as simply “inconveniences.”   Here’s a non-affiliate link to Robert Fulghum’s book that inspired today’s topic. I also encourage you to support local booksellers and borrow from your public library.

Distinguish Problems from Inconveniences

May 24, 2020 14:00 - 7 minutes - 5 MB

You might be less anxious if you recalibrate your stress meter and consider some problems as simply “inconveniences.”   Here’s a non-affiliate link to Robert Fulghum’s book that inspired today’s topic. I also encourage you to support local booksellers and borrow from your public library.

Be More Grateful & Creative

May 17, 2020 14:00 - 7 minutes - 4.93 MB

A simple but challenging experiment could produce gratitude in the short term and creativity in the long term.

Turn Back the Clock

May 10, 2020 14:00 - 8 minutes - 5.8 MB

Aging may be inevitable, but holding a negative stereotype about it is not. Research from Harvard psychologist Ellen J. Langer shows that we can actually turn the clock back in surprising ways through shifts in our expectations. Here’s a non-affiliate link to Langer’s book on mindful health.

Turn Back the Clock

May 10, 2020 14:00 - 8 minutes - 5.8 MB

Aging may be inevitable, but holding a negative stereotype about it is not. Research from Harvard psychologist Ellen J. Langer shows that we can actually turn the clock back in surprising ways through shifts in our expectations. Here’s a non-affiliate link to Langer’s book on mindful health.

Worry Less about Others' Opinions

May 03, 2020 14:00 - 7 minutes - 5.07 MB

It’s normal to worry about others’ opinions of you, but it’s not necessary. Two ways to break free from this are: 1) desensitize yourself by assuming that it’s always going to happen; and 2) recognize that their critiques are directed at your “social self,” not your “essential self.”  Here’s a non-affiliate Amazon link to Martha Beck’s book that I reference in the episode.

Commencement Wisdom

April 26, 2020 14:00 - 7 minutes - 5.12 MB

You don’t have to attend a graduation ceremony to benefit from commencement speakers.  Here’s a link to Anne Lamott’s 2003 address at the University of California, Berkeley that explores mindfulness and compassion with humor and insight. I believe that in 2020, her comments have become even more relevant.

Commencement Wisdom

April 26, 2020 14:00 - 7 minutes - 5.12 MB

You don’t have to attend a graduation ceremony to benefit from commencement speakers.  Here’s a link to Anne Lamott’s 2003 address at the University of California, Berkeley that explores mindfulness and compassion with humor and insight. I believe that in 2020, her comments have become even more relevant.

Simplify

April 19, 2020 14:00 - 9 minutes - 6.8 MB

Simplifying our lives can reduce our stress. Here are three suggestions: Donate stuff. Let go of draining relationships. Act as if you already have more than enough. This is a non-affiliate link to Anne Morrow Lindbergh’s book, Gift from the Sea. And here’s a longer passage (pages 17-18) from the 50th anniversary edition: “I want first of all . . . to be at peace with myself. I want a singleness of eye, a purity of intention, a central core to my life that will enable me to carry out ...

Simplify

April 19, 2020 14:00 - 9 minutes - 6.8 MB

Simplifying our lives can reduce our stress. Here are three suggestions: Donate stuff. Let go of draining relationships. Act as if you already have more than enough. This is a non-affiliate link to Anne Morrow Lindbergh’s book, Gift from the Sea. And here’s a longer passage (pages 17-18) from the 50th anniversary edition: “I want first of all . . . to be at peace with myself. I want a singleness of eye, a purity of intention, a central core to my life that will enable me to carry out ...

Rationalize for Happiness

April 12, 2020 14:00 - 8 minutes - 5.98 MB

Research on happiness from social psychologist Daniel Gilbert can help us in surprising ways. Here’s a non-affiliate link to Gilbert's book on happiness. I also encourage you to support your local booksellers and borrow from your library. And here’s a link to one of Gilbert's TED Talks.

Rationalize for Happiness

April 12, 2020 14:00 - 8 minutes - 5.98 MB

Research on happiness from social psychologist Daniel Gilbert can help us in surprising ways. Here’s a non-affiliate link to Gilbert's book on happiness. I also encourage you to support your local booksellers and borrow from your library. And here’s a link to one of Gilbert's TED Talks.

Avoid Snap Judgments

April 05, 2020 14:00 - 8 minutes - 6.19 MB

In circumstances that don't require snap decisions, consider three ways of tolerating stress in order to improve your judgment. For your convenience, here's a non-affiliate link to the Malcom Gladwell book Blink that I mention.

Avoid Snap Judgments

April 05, 2020 14:00 - 8 minutes - 6.19 MB

In circumstances that don't require snap decisions, consider three ways of tolerating stress in order to improve your judgment. For your convenience, here's a non-affiliate link to the Malcom Gladwell book Blink that I mention.

Return to Wellness

March 29, 2020 14:00 - 10 minutes - 7.6 MB

Our beliefs about illness may sometimes help in our healing. These authors share insights on how this occurs: Rilke's book (Stephen Mitchell translation for Kindle) Jerome Groopman's Amazon page Kate Bowler's book The PLOS ONE study on placebos for IBS

Return to Wellness

March 29, 2020 14:00 - 10 minutes - 7.6 MB

Our beliefs about illness may sometimes help in our healing. These authors share insights on how this occurs: Rilke's book (Stephen Mitchell translation for Kindle) Jerome Groopman's Amazon page Kate Bowler's book The PLOS ONE study on placebos for IBS

Edit Your Life

March 22, 2020 14:00 - 8 minutes - 5.93 MB

Although you may not claim full authorship credit for your life, you can freely edit any time. Here's what might help from Donald Miller's book, A million miles in a thousand years: What I learned while editing my life. And if you'd like more, this is a non-affiliate link to his book list.

Edit Your Life

March 22, 2020 14:00 - 8 minutes - 5.93 MB

Although you may not claim full authorship credit for your life, you can freely edit any time. Here's what might help from Donald Miller's book, A million miles in a thousand years: What I learned while editing my life. And if you'd like more, this is a non-affiliate link to his book list.

Joy of an Average Day

March 15, 2020 14:00 - 7 minutes - 5.12 MB

Joy can be sustained in average lives more readily than in exceptional ones. Why not experiment for just a day, and then see how you feel? Here's the link to Michael Neill's article on which this episode is based: https://www.michaelneill.org/mnct829.shtml

SPECIAL -- Calm in a Crisis

March 12, 2020 19:00 - 5 minutes - 4.06 MB

During a pandemic, calm rational action is far more effective than fear-based behavior. This Centers for Disease Control site is an excellent source of guidance. 

SPECIAL -- Calm in a Crisis

March 12, 2020 19:00 - 5 minutes - 4.06 MB

During a pandemic, calm rational action is far more effective than fear-based behavior. This Centers for Disease Control site is an excellent source of guidance. 

Working Through Change

March 08, 2020 15:00 - 7 minutes - 5.46 MB

Since change is the only constant in life, here are some ways to manage it gracefully. Acknowledge its reality. Stay present and mindful. Learn from past changes. Control your reactions. Focus on what comes next.

Change Your Genes

March 01, 2020 15:00 - 7 minutes - 4.97 MB

Our genetic structure is fixed, but we can influence how genes express themselves, and thus improve our health. To slow (and in some cases reverse) cellular aging: Eat healthfully. Exercise regularly. If you drink, do so in moderation. Quit tobacco products. Reduce stress. Here’s the independent nutrition site I mention:  https://nutritionfacts.org This video summarizes research on the power of a plant-based diet (specifically in reducing saturated fat intake) to slow cellular aging....

Not All Thoughts Are True

February 23, 2020 15:00 - 8 minutes - 5.58 MB

Overthinking (especially about the future) is rarely worth its price. Although learning from the past and planning for the future are essential, the real action is in the present.

Increase Optimal Experience (a.k.a. "Flow")

February 16, 2020 15:00 - 9 minutes - 6.64 MB

Learn evidence-based ways to feel happier and more engaged. Although what you do for a living matters, how you do it is even more important. If you would like to learn more, here are some resources: https://positivepsychology.com/what-is-flow/ Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi (1990). Flow: The psychology of optimal experience. New York: Harper Perennial. https://psycnet.apa.org/buy/1999-11644-003

BONUS exercise -- Guided Imagery for Success

February 12, 2020 15:00 - 13 minutes - 9.21 MB

Try this guided imagery exercise to help prepare for an important event (e.g., interview, exam, or presentation). For an excellent resource on guided imagery, I recommend this book by Martin Rossman, M.D.

Embrace Your Imperfections

February 09, 2020 15:00 - 7 minutes - 5.27 MB

Since expecting perfection leads to disappointment, why not use your imperfections to connect better with people? This reduces anxiety and builds interpersonal bridges.

Embrace Your Imperfections

February 09, 2020 15:00 - 7 minutes - 5.27 MB

Since expecting perfection leads to disappointment, why not use your imperfections to connect better with people? This reduces anxiety and builds interpersonal bridges.

Be Yourself

February 02, 2020 15:00 - 6 minutes - 4.81 MB

Being yourself is not easy, but it’s worth the risk. The song, “This Is Me,” by Keala Settle & The Greatest Showman Ensemble, might inspire your effort.

Let More Life In

January 26, 2020 15:00 - 5 minutes - 3.62 MB

Mindfully facing our fears and flaws allows us to take action, rather than defend ourselves against them. From Rumi through Coldplay, this concept seems to endure.

Tolerate Stress to Achieve Goals

January 19, 2020 15:00 - 7 minutes - 5.1 MB

Taking that first step toward your goal is great, but it's crucial to continue--in spite of anxiety. We might want a shortcut to success, but there is tremendous value in working through problems.

Use Music to Relax

January 12, 2020 15:00 - 6 minutes - 4.7 MB

Although music can help you relax, it can do so much more. Experiment to find what works best, but here's a sample of what I like: "Symphony No. 9 in D Minor," Beethoven "Thunder Road," Bruce Springsteen "Still Young," The Cat Empire "Three Little Words," Branford Marsalis "Free It Up," Destra (feat. Sean Paul) "Waiting on the Stage," Machel Montano (feat. Badjohn Republic) "Like a Surgeon," Weird Al Yankovic "Keeping Your Head Up," Birdy  "Glow," Nelly Furtado [opening words before the son...

Make Affirmations Work

January 05, 2020 15:00 - 5 minutes - 4 MB

A slight change to an affirmation could strengthen its power. Here's the Michael Jordan interview (1991) on Saturday Night Live. Examples of how you might structure an affirmation: Up until now, I’ve been expecting perfection; now I’m striving for excellence. Up until now, I’ve been scared of down-time; now I’m making it count. Up until now, I’ve been afraid of public speaking; now I’m growing in confidence. Up until now, I’ve been eating mindlessly; now I’m savoring food. Up until no...

Reduce Time Stress

December 29, 2019 15:00 - 9 minutes - 6.8 MB

Time stress is common, but it can be reduced more easily than you think.  Savor what you do have right now instead of wishing you had it all. Focus on priorities--your core values--instead of greater efficiency. Simplify--both in terms of possessions and people. For fast acting relief from stress, try slowing down. —Lily Tomlin Decline unreasonable requests.

Persevere through Adversity

December 22, 2019 15:00 - 7 minutes - 4.98 MB

It may require more than a kitten poster for you to "Hang in There!" Tolerating some anxiety to achieve your goals is well worth the effort. To learn from an expert, go to this non-affiliate link about  Jennifer Pharr Davis.

Persevere through Adversity

December 22, 2019 15:00 - 7 minutes - 4.98 MB

It may require more than a kitten poster for you to "Hang in There!" Tolerating some anxiety to achieve your goals is well worth the effort. To learn from an expert, go to this non-affiliate link about  Jennifer Pharr Davis.

Make Choices Without Agonizing

December 15, 2019 15:00 - 8 minutes - 5.93 MB

Having so many choices in our privileged lives can create anxiety. Although this is a totally first world problem, it's still real. I'll suggest a way to help navigate through. And the Barry Schwartz (2004) book I reference is The paradox of choice: Why more is less. New York: HarperCollins.

Make Choices Without Agonizing

December 15, 2019 15:00 - 8 minutes - 5.93 MB

Having so many choices in our privileged lives can create anxiety. Although this is a totally first world problem, it's still real. I'll suggest a way to help navigate through. And the Barry Schwartz (2004) book I reference is The paradox of choice: Why more is less. New York: HarperCollins.

Be Present & Act "As If"

December 08, 2019 15:00 - 11 minutes - 8.06 MB

You may improve focus through a simple habit (e.g., "stop / breathe / reflect / choose").  It then becomes easier to make bigger changes. 

More Control = Less Stress

December 01, 2019 15:00 - 10 minutes - 7.09 MB

In order to reduce stress by gaining control, try one of these ideas: Increase your emotional flexibility. (It's a paradox, but it works) View your current circumstances in a new way. (This can empower you) Give away control. (Others will appreciate it, and you'll benefit)

More Control = Less Stress

December 01, 2019 15:00 - 10 minutes - 7.09 MB

In order to reduce stress by gaining control, try one of these ideas: Increase your emotional flexibility. (It's a paradox, but it works) View your current circumstances in a new way. (This can empower you) Give away control. (Others will appreciate it, and you'll benefit)

Increase your Happiness

November 24, 2019 15:00 - 9 minutes - 6.57 MB

Regardless of your genetic set point, you can control up to 40% of your happiness. Based on Sonja Lyubomirsky's research reported in her best seller, The How of Happiness (2008), I share how to do this through gratitude and acts of kindness. For more information on Dr. Lyubomirsky, go to:  http://thehowofhappiness.com/

Gain Power & Shrink Problems

November 17, 2019 15:00 - 6 minutes - 4.45 MB

Your view about the size of your problems and your power to solve them can help or hurt. Although you may be "powerful beyond measure," don't let this go to your head. In other words, "Remember that you're unique--just like everybody else!"

Fly with Less Fear

November 10, 2019 15:00 - 7 minutes - 5.26 MB

You can smooth out some turbulence through relaxation, imagery, and distraction.

BONUS exercise -- How to Breathe

November 06, 2019 15:00 - 7 minutes - 4.97 MB

Try diaphragmatic breathing as one way to have a break from stress and prepare for challenging events.

Think Flexibly to Decrease Stress

November 03, 2019 14:00 - 6 minutes - 4.78 MB

If you think there are two kinds of people in the world, this episode is for you.  (My philosophy friends understand that while a disjunctive syllogism is a valid argument form, it's not always sound.) Here's a link to the "Good Luck/Bad Luck" fable that I reference: http://thepoweryogatribe.com/bad-luck-good-luck-who-knows/

Think Flexibly to Decrease Stress

November 03, 2019 14:00 - 6 minutes - 4.78 MB

If you think there are two kinds of people in the world, this episode is for you.  (My philosophy friends understand that while a disjunctive syllogism is a valid argument form, it's not always sound.) Here's a link to the "Good Luck/Bad Luck" fable that I reference: http://thepoweryogatribe.com/bad-luck-good-luck-who-knows/

Exercise for Love

October 27, 2019 14:00 - 7 minutes - 5.28 MB

We are meant to move, so why not do it with love? Here's the Zumba video interview I mention.