Masks Off For People-Pleasers & Perfectionists
255 episodes - English - Latest episode: 8 days ago - ★★★★★ - 16 ratingsA podcast for people-pleasers and perfectionists who are ready to unhook from their patterns so they can finally feel free to be their true selves and be confident. Through solo episodes and interviews, Host Kim Gross, shares tools and techniques to help listeners develop self-awareness and transform unhealthy patterns. Join us each week as we explore topics such as overcoming fear of judgement, cultivating self-compassion, and the skills for doing the healing work to create the life that you desire. www.kimgrosscoaching.com
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Episodes
Stepping into a New Dance
July 15, 2021 08:00 - 19 minutes - 35.1 MBWithout even realizing it we are living out patterns or roles. These roles and patterns become our masks. We don’t consciously do this. We fall into these patterns in childhood often to protect ourselves. As this happens and we create more and more patterns we lose our true self. As we awaken and become more aware of our patterns we can step into a new dance and create a new way of living life. It does take time and it is a back and forth dance because not all people in our lives will be hap...
Fireflies and Mudpies with Jen Zash
July 08, 2021 08:00 - 59 minutes - 99.9 MBHow easy is it for you to play in your life? Do you cringe at the thought of playing? Or, do you think to yourself “I am too busy to play.” Whether you enjoy playing and incorporate play in your life or whether you avoid playing with a ten foot pole, Jen Zash has much to say about the benefit and need for cultivating play in our lives. She talks about looking at life with childlike wonder. As we become adults we lose that sense of living in the moment and seeing life from a beginners viewpoin...
Riding with the Rip Tide
July 01, 2021 08:00 - 20 minutes - 37.2 MBImagine being caught in a rip tide. What is the first thing that you are told to do if you get caught in a rip tide? Do you flow against it or ride with it? We can apply this same advice when it comes to the challenges in our lives. It is more beneficial to flow with the challenges rather than resist. When we let go of resistance and move into acceptance we have more peace. While it is difficult to move into acceptance and to let go of controlling outcomes, it is truly the only thing we have...
Healing Takes Time
June 24, 2021 08:00 - 24 minutes - 43.9 MBWhen you find yourself in a difficult space and having a really hard time, is it easy or difficult for you to reach out and ask for support? Do you feel afraid to be vulnerable and ask another just to listen and hold space for you? In this episode, Kim and Tia talk about how truly important it is to recognize first that healing takes time and there are many layers to healing, but also that it is so important and vital to reach out and ask for a “lifeline” when you are struggling. We come int...
Triggers Are the Messengers with Guest Deb Blum
June 17, 2021 08:00 - 1 hour - 129 MBMost of us have developed coping strategies throughout our lives because we did not know how to deal with pain in a healthy and effective way. So many times when we are triggered by someone or something we resort to our coping strategies. This is not always a bad thing as these strategies served an important purpose- to protect us in some way. As we grow and evolve we do want to learn how to go inward when we notice our triggers and ask ourselves what does this wounded part of ourselves real...
Permission to Be
June 10, 2021 08:00 - 29 minutes - 52.5 MBIn the previous episode, Kim and Tia talked about how we navigate the “storms” in our lives. Often times, there are lessons to learn from these storms. One of those lessons is learning that we cannot calm the storm and we can only calm ourselves. Sometimes though, it is very difficult to calm ourselves while we are in the middle of a storm. We may expect ourselves to handle things differently than we actually are and we put more pressure on ourselves. Very often, our inner child gets activat...
Surviving a Storm
June 03, 2021 08:00 - 22 minutes - 40.6 MBHow do you respond when you feel that you are in the midst of a “storm”? Do you try and control everything around you or do you take one step at a time? Do you try and control people, places and things, or do you focus on what you can control? What can you actually control? The only thing in life that we really have control over is ourselves and how we respond to outside factors. Sometimes the storm we are in is inside of ourselves. Kim and Tia talk about how outside events are mirrors to th...
The Relationship Mask with Guest Margot Zaher
May 27, 2021 08:00 - 50 minutes - 90.2 MBDo you feel that your relationships with others whether it be a boss, significant other, children, friends etc… are healthy? Do you show up as real and authentic in these relationships? Or, do you wear a relationship mask? To hear more about what it looks like to wear a relationship mask, how we develop a relationship mask, and often lock ourselves in a cage of the relationship mask, listen in. Listen in as Margot shares her knowledge and expertise on relationships. She has worked with count...
Brain Fog
May 20, 2021 08:00 - 13 minutes - 24.9 MBDo you ever find yourself in one of those head spaces where you feel like you are in a total fog? Do you feel like you are flying circles in an airplane that won’t seem to land. Or perhaps you feel like one of those pinball machines and you are bouncing all over the place. Sometimes it can feel like life is just coming at us. Maybe we have many things that we are trying to juggle and on top of all of that, we may be having a conflict with someone important to us or maybe we are showing up in...
Is Your Mind a Prison?
May 13, 2021 08:00 - 21 minutes - 37.8 MBDo you ever feel like you are stuck in looping thoughts or a pattern or behaviour that never goes away? Are you stuck in depression, anxiety, or addictive behavior? Do you find yourself in a situation where you feel stuck or trapped? Perhaps you are trapped in particular roles or expectations. Maybe you feel like a victim. If you answered yes to any of these questions, listen in as Kim and Tia discuss both the dark and light side of any situation and how we really have the power within us to...
Take Your Hands Off the Wheel
May 06, 2021 08:00 - 27 minutes - 48.8 MBOne of the hallmark symptoms of co-dependency is enmeshment and caretaking. The truth is that we are only responsible to take care of ourselves and those that truly cannot take care of themselves. What we often do that may get us in trouble is to take care of people that should be taking care of themselves. When we do this we take away their own inner power to know what it feels like to take care of themselves. When we take our hands off the wheel and really focus on ourselves and not on oth...
The Purpose of Pain with Guest Janet Philbin
April 29, 2021 08:00 - 50 minutes - 90.3 MBIf you try to avoid pain, you are not alone. We are wired to move away from pain and move toward pleasure. The issue is that as we move away from pain, we often avoid it or push it down and run from it. That can create a whole host of issues in our lives including anxiety, depression and addictions as well as unhealthy relationships. In this interview with Janet, she speaks about how we can face our pain and how we can heal from it. She explains that pain is a portal to healing. When we heal...
Walls or Bridges?
April 22, 2021 08:00 - 33 minutes - 59.2 MBDo you find it easy or difficult to hold a boundary with others. Do you get so stuck in your position that you build a wall between you and the other or do you cave easily because you are afraid of upsetting the other. Boundaries are difficult and can nurture a relationship or it can hurt relationships. It is also important to realize that boundaries can be fluid and can change if we live in the moment and allow each moment to determine our decisions. If you want to hear more about boundarie...
Embracing Contrast
April 15, 2021 08:00 - 21 minutes - 38.9 MBAre you in resistance to the “as is'' especially if that reality is painful? Do you move away from pain and continually seek out pleasure? Our minds are wired to avoid pain and move toward pleasure but the problem arises when we resist pain. This is a problem because when we resist pain we cause more suffering in our lives. We can not know joy without knowing sadness and we can not know freedom without knowing pain. It is through contrast in our lives that we grow if we allow it. So, we invi...
Re-Align to Thrive with Style with Guest Diana Lockett
April 08, 2021 08:00 - 54 minutes - 97.9 MBThis episode is an amazing and deep conversation with Diana. She shares many insights and wisdom and one in particular is how and why as children we make a choice to be loved instead of being real. She dives in deep and explains what that means from her lens and why she believes we develop and create masks. Diana shares and explains how people can begin to heal and thus peel back the masks that they wear. She shares much of her own personal story throughout the episode and how she got to whe...
Head vs. Heart
April 01, 2021 08:00 - 33 minutes - 60.1 MBWhen you make decisions in your life, do you make them only from your head or only from your heart, or do you balance the two? Do you make impulsive decisions or with a sense of urgency? Are you coming from fear when you make decisions and do you find yourself in a more difficult situation as a result? When we make decisions from lack or scarcity, we will often rush or jump into situations and as a result, it often does not go well. What we often lack when making decisions whether big or sma...
Dancing with Conflict
March 25, 2021 08:00 - 30 minutes - 54.3 MBWhat type of conflict avoider are you? Do you fight when you are in conflict with another and do you blame and deflect taking responsibility because you don’t want to be honest with yourself? Or, are you a person who flees and just runs from the conflict because you fear being attacked by the other? Either way is not healthy communication and is problematic for relationships. While it can be smart and helpful to walk away from a conflict if one or both of you are upset, it is important to co...
Courage Over Comfort
March 18, 2021 08:00 - 20 minutes - 37.3 MBAre you afraid of choosing courage over comfort? Do you hold back from speaking up or setting a boundary because it is easier to be quiet and stay comfortable? Do you avoid taking risks because it is too scary to step outside your comfort zone? If you answered yes to any of these questions take a listen as Kim and Tia talk about balancing between taking risks to avoid dealing with an issue and staying too comfortable because it is easier. Discernment is important when choosing courage and t...
Live Outside the Box with Guest Deborah Hanlon
March 11, 2021 09:00 - 52 minutes - 93.5 MBSo Excited!!!!! Our first guest episode is with Intuitive Coach Deborah Hanlon. In this episode we talk about roles and expectations that we place upon ourselves or continue to keep ourselves attached to and how it can feel like we live in a box. Listen in to get three key takeaways. · What is one simple and natural reminder of the natural flow of life?(@ ~13 min) · What is one powerful question to help you go inward and reconnect with your truth?(@ ~25 min) · How can you shift your pers...
Is Your Heart Leading the Way?
March 04, 2021 09:00 - 31 minutes - 55.9 MBDo you struggle to make decisions in your life? Do you make pros and cons lists when making a big life decision? Do you overthink things or do you tend to lean in and listen to your intuition? When we are in a practice of being in the moment and we tune in to our bodies and our hearts there is a sense of knowing that the decision or decisions that you make are right for you. If you vacillate back and forth then chances are there may be more for you to learn or you are not honoring your intui...
Where Does Your Compass Lead You?
February 25, 2021 09:00 - 23 minutes - 41.6 MBIn this episode Kim and Tia talk about their new online course, True North. One of the main intentions for this course is to teach how to take teachings and wisdom and actually build a tool box so that we can integrate the wisdom. It is one thing to know something and it is another to actually put it into practice and have it be useful. One of the tools that Kim and Tia will be teaching is how to create a value system so that when you are lost in life it can help point you in the right direc...
The Art of Letting Go
February 18, 2021 09:00 - 36 minutes - 64.5 MBHow often do you find yourself trying to control another by saying the same thing over and over again? Or perhaps you ask prodding questions or get upset with another if that person doesn’t take your advice or even respond the way you expect him to respond? Often, we may try and control another person because we are in fear or lack so we feel an innate sense to control and feel safe. Perhaps our motivation for controlling the other is because we fear being rejected. Whatever the reason for t...
Conscious Covid
February 11, 2021 09:00 - 35 minutes - 62.9 MBIn this episode Kim shares more of her experience with having Covid and the lessons that she learned. While there were many moments of being in fear and anxiety and worry about what the future held for her, she implemented the practice of coming back to the present moment and accepted that she did not know what the future held for her with this Covid virus and she learned to be ok with it. We can apply this spiritual practice to any situation in our lives because the hard reality is that we ...
Stuck in the Muck?
February 04, 2021 09:00 - 30 minutes - 55 MBDo you feel like you are perpetually stuck in the muck? Do you feel like a black cloud is always following you? Do you consistently resist life and find yourself trying to control outcomes? If you answered yes to any of these questions, take a listen as Kim and Tia talk about taking a different perspective on life’s challenges. There will always be challenges, disappointment, pain and “curve balls.” That is a given. We have a choice about whether we stay stuck in the muck of our feelings and...
Finding Your Own Peace
January 28, 2021 09:00 - 26 minutes - 48 MBDo you find yourself looking outside of yourself to find peace and comfort? Do you wish and want others to make you feel better because you don’t know how to comfort yourself? Or, do you use food or some other substance or behavior to comfort yourself rather than soothing or comforting yourself? It is a skill that we must learn so that we can go inward and soothe and comfort ourselves. It is truly learning how to “dance in the rain.” Learning to self-regulate is a crucial skill to learn. Wan...
It's an Inside Job
January 21, 2021 09:00 - 37 minutes - 65.8 MBIn this episode Kim and Tia share the process of going inward and deconstructing very old patterns. Very often many of us seek outside validation to feel that we are worthy and when we don’t receive that outside validation we can feel unworthy and unlovable. It is so important to learn how to give ourselves the validation that we are worthy just because of who we are and not what we do. The mere fact that we were born and are a part of this world makes us worthy. Where things go wrong is tha...
Navigating the Waters
January 14, 2021 09:00 - 26 minutes - 48.1 MBIn this episode Kim and Tia talk about the antidote when we feel that resistance to stepping into the arena. What can we do when we feel too fearful or too vulnerable to share our heart and our true selves. There are several tools or steps to this antidote and they are discussed in this episode. It must be stated that it is a process and that we need to have compassion for ourselves when we don’t do it perfectly. It is about progress and not perfection. It is messy but when we truly come fro...
Are You Camouflaging?
January 07, 2021 09:00 - 31 minutes - 56.8 MBAt the start of season 2 Kim and Tia talk about the consequences of putting our masks back on or not fully removing them and playing roles. It can feel suffocating and it can prevent us from being alive and authentic. They do discuss that it can feel and be extremely difficult to be vulnerable and to show up fully authentic because we so often fear rejection and separation. However, when we choose to armor up and protect our heart our hearts can become calcified and we feel “dead” inside. It...
Looking Back at Your 2020 Yardstick
December 31, 2020 09:00 - 42 minutes - 76.5 MBWhat a year 2020 has been. Kim and Tia take a look back and reflect on all the growth and challenges that the year has brought them. As the quote below says, if we are making mistakes then we are trying new things and learning and growing. If we allow ourselves to see life events as opportunities to grow and learn we can have a perspective of abundance rather than lack and scarcity. When we allow ourselves to look at the yardstick behind us we can see the growth that we have achieved and whe...
Embracing the Valleys
December 24, 2020 09:00 - 29 minutes - 53.4 MBIn this episode Kim and Tia discuss the importance of embracing our valleys or in other words embracing our pain or discomfort. Life will always have pain because pain is inevitable but suffering is optional. When we choose to suffer is when we create those Grand Canyons that then become increasingly difficult to climb out of. It can be difficult to recognize or to even accept that we may be co-creating a Grand Canyon by choosing to avoid painful feelings, and that is why it is so crucial t...
Is Your Valley Becoming a Gorge?
December 17, 2020 09:00 - 20 minutes - 36.2 MBDo you feel like life is a constant struggle? Do you feel like you are in a perpetual state of feeling triggered and reactive to life’s events and other people? Kim and Tia continue the conversation that they had a few episodes ago about how life is neutral and it is our histories, our beliefs and our thoughts that keeps us suffering. When we can learn how to walk through the valleys and reach the peaks, we can live a life of more freedom, peace and presence. This does not mean that we are a...
Are You in the Wilderness?
December 10, 2020 09:00 - 35 minutes - 63.3 MBIn the last episode Kim and Tia talked about being in the arena which means showing up and being vulnerable. In this episode they continue the conversation about being in the wilderness. They discuss the struggle of being 100 percent authentic because at times when we are authentic and show our true selves there is a risk of being rejected and like the quote says that belonging is so primal and so necessary that the thought of being rejected or losing someone is terrifying. So instead of bei...
Deer in the Headlights
December 03, 2020 09:00 - 30 minutes - 54 MBHow comfortable are you with vulnerability? Do you find it hard to step into the arena and share your truest self with others or do you hide behind a mask for fear of being judged? Kim and Tia discuss what it is like for them to show up and share their truest selves. It can be so hard to show others your deepest fears or your truest feelings because we are so conditioned to push our feelings down and show up as all put together. When we can take the risk and have the courage to step in the a...
Here and Now
November 26, 2020 09:00 - 18 minutes - 33.5 MBDo you live with presence or do you continually find yourself worrying about the future? Are you able to show up and be yourself with people or do you feel that you have to wear a “mask” when you are around other people. This life as we know it can be gone in an instant. We never know if we have tomorrow so are you living this life to the fullest and showing up as your true self. Are you even being true to yourself and living life the way you want to live your life or are you living it the w...
Plant Your Apple Tree
November 24, 2020 09:00 - 23 minutes - 41.2 MBSo often in life we are attached to outcomes that we want and expect and when those outcomes don’t come to fruition, we can be left feeling angry, upset or stressed. When we just take action in life and do what feels right in the moment, we can live with more freedom and peace. When we live from a place of aligning with our authenticity, we have the opportunity to leave a positive impact on others and the world. If you are wanting to live with more peace and presence, try to let go of outcom...
Slowing the Free Fall
November 19, 2020 09:00 - 22 minutes - 40.4 MBIn the previous episode, Kim and Tia discussed that when we believe the thoughts and stories we tell ourselves, we create suffering for ourselves. Essentially when there is an event that takes place we all attach a meaning to that event. We label the event as good or bad, rather than just saying that it just is. We attach a meaning to these events and then that meaning creates an emotion and that emotion creates a feeling in our bodies, which then causes a particular behavior. This is how we...
Pummeled by an Avalanche
November 17, 2020 09:00 - 19 minutes - 34.8 MBAre you allowing the thoughts and stories that you tell yourself to make you feel like you are being pummeled by an avalanche? Are your fears, worries, anxieties and beliefs creating a tornado of feelings and behaviors within you? Is your well-being being affected by this tornado of thoughts, feelings and beliefs? If so, you are not alone. Many of us can get caught in judging EVERYTHING as good or bad and when we judge these neutral events in life, we create more suffering for ourselves. If...
Climbing Out Of Our Rabbit Hole
November 12, 2020 10:00 - 30 minutes - 53.3 MBTo sign up for our FREE Balancing Your Backpack Course go to: https://unlocking-authenticity.teachable.com/p/balancing-your-backpack In this episode Kim and Tia continue the conversation from the previous episode and discuss practical tools that one can use when you are aware that you are numbing your feelings. If you are unaware of what you even feel that is perfectly fine because you can begin to notice in your body where you feel the emotion. Just begin to be aware and then sit with the ...
You Can Run But You Cannot Hide
November 10, 2020 10:00 - 20 minutes - 36 MBTo sign up for our FREE Balancing Your Backpack Course go to: https://unlocking-authenticity.teachable.com/p/balancing-your-backpack Check out our other courses as well at https://unlocking-authenticity.teachable.com/courses Which way do you avoid your emotions? Do you eat, drink, smoke, over exercise, watch tv, shop etc..? You might think that you are running from your feelings by ignoring them and pushing them down, but those feelings will haunt you and wreak havoc in your life if you do n...
Dancing in the Rain
November 05, 2020 10:00 - 35 minutes - 63 MBEpisode 50!! Life does not have to be as difficult as we make it sometimes. Most times we are making our reality much more difficult than it needs to be because of the judgement and story that we attach to whatever is happening. We can literally take any event in our lives and look at it through the lens of abundance or lack. We can ask ourselves: “what can I learn from this situation and how or what is this situation trying to teach me?” When we approach life from this angle then we can rea...
Which Way Does the Wind Blow You?
November 03, 2020 10:00 - 27 minutes - 48.8 MBDo you notice that your thoughts are going back and forth in your mind all day long like a ping pong match? Do you constantly judge everything as good or bad or right and wrong? When we do this all day long we can literally drive ourselves crazy. Things are not good or bad, life just is. When we can learn to live in the moment and accept it as it is without a commentary about the person, place or thing, this is where the peace is. This is learning to live in the moment. Life is not either/or...
Walking with Fear and Uncertainty
October 29, 2020 08:00 - 21 minutes - 37.6 MBHow often do you find yourself trying to get rid of or ignoring your fears and anxieties? How often do you notice that you are trying to control people, places and things because you can not be certain of the outcome? In this episode Kim and Tia talk about some tools and tips that you can use when you are having big feelings, and how you can embrace them and work with them instead of staying stuck in the fear, anxiety and control. When we can learn to feel our feelings and embrace the uncert...
Is Uncertainty Stealing Your Joy?
October 27, 2020 08:00 - 20 minutes - 36.3 MBWhen we get stuck in the “what ifs” in life, we often get stuck in a spiral of fear. Then we get caught on the thought train and worry that if this happens or that happens, or if I do this or I don’t do that and this worry just creates anxiety. When we can’t predict or control the future, our immediate response to this uncertainty is fear. When we are stuck in this place we often go into fixing and controlling. This constant state of fear and anxiety robs us of our joy. The struggle is to st...
The Body Leads the Way
October 22, 2020 09:00 - 27 minutes - 50 MBIn the last episode Kim and Tia talked about giving ourselves permission to slow down and rest. In this episode they continue the conversation and talk about how important it is to listen to our bodies. Our bodies will tell us when to rest, when to move, what to eat and how much to eat etc.. if we just listen. The problem is that often we don’t listen to the body and we do everything from our minds and in particular from our old outdated belief systems and from the masks that we wear. This c...
Permission Slips
October 20, 2020 09:00 - 24 minutes - 43.8 MBDuring these busy and hectic times do you feel a constant flow of overwhelm? Are you constantly under the gun? Do you put your oxygen mask on before assisting others? Do you feel burned out all the time? How often do you feel completely ok with just taking some time (even if it is just a little while) to just unplug and unwind? We often feel so guilty when we are doing “nothing,” yet athletes know that having a recovery day is crucial to their performance. However, most of us just can’t give...
Coming Up For Air
October 15, 2020 09:00 - 28 minutes - 50.4 MBTo sign up for our FREE Balancing Your Backpack Course go to: https://unlocking-authenticity.teachable.com/p/balancing-your-backpack Check out our other courses as well at https://unlocking-authenticity.teachable.com/courses When you find yourself drowning because life feels so overwhelming and you feel like you are just trying to do everything and do it perfectly and you are trying to manage and control every part of your life and maybe others too, there are many life preservers that can ...
Drowning In Your To-Do List?
October 13, 2020 09:00 - 33 minutes - 59.5 MBTo sign up for our FREE Balancing Your Backpack Course go to: https://unlocking-authenticity.teachable.com/p/balancing-your-backpack Check out our other courses as well at https://unlocking-authenticity.teachable.com/courses Do you feel overwhelmed and exhausted from your list of things to do? Is it difficult for you to relax and kick back and unwind? Do you feel guilty when you are relaxing and doing nothing? Are you a human doing rather than a human being? This is difficult for many of u...
Sharing Our Journey
October 08, 2020 09:00 - 41 minutes - 73.6 MBTo sign up for the FREE Balancing Your Backpack Course go to https://unlocking-authenticity.teachable.com/p/balancing-your-backpack In this episode Kim and Tia share a little more of their journey on how they each got on to the path of awakening. They share where they started and on they got on this path. Then they share how they met each other and how they came together to do Masks Off podcast. Tia is a Certified Conscious Parent Coach and she runs circle groups as well. If you would lik...
Always a Work in Progress
October 06, 2020 09:00 - 25 minutes - 45 MBTo sign up for the FREE Balancing Your Backpack course go to https://unlocking-authenticity.teachable.com/p/balancing-your-backpack Are you aware of your inner dialogue? Do you constantly beat yourself up and put yourself down? Do you constantly feel that you have to please, perform and be perfect? If you answered yes to any of these questions, then you will want to listen to this episode. In fact, you might want to read “The Gift of Imperfection” by Brene Brown. Kim and Tia talk about some...
Stay In Your Lane
October 01, 2020 09:00 - 33 minutes - 59.2 MBTo sign up for the FREE Balancing Your Backpack course go to https://unlocking-authenticity.teachable.com/p/balancing-your-backpack It is so typical for humans to feel and think that there is not enough to go around for everyone whether that be jobs, money, shelter, raises, opportunities or whatever. We are so conditioned and wired from caveman times that it is all about “survival of the fittest.” So, as a culture we still compete and compare rather than cultivating a mindset that there is ...