Kagro in the Morning

Kagro in the Morning - June 13, 2022

It’s Day Two of the January 6th Select Committee coup hearings. Yes, they are “history” and all, but first you need to hit pause, and listen to what David Waldman and Greg Dworkin have to say, so you know your silcrows from your pilcrows going in. Thursday’s hearing was about dishonor... Trump’s and his party’s. That, and plenty of actual crimes, should anyone care to do anything about it. The Committee keeps up the good work today, holding Trump and friends accountable for the Big Lie tha...

Kagro in the Morning - June 10, 2022

David Waldman watched the first primetime hearing of the select committee on the January 6 insurrection, so you don’t have to! However, if you didn’t watch it, you sure missed a lot. The presentation was historic, important, emotional, devastating and even pretty exciting after a bit. If you didn’t watch, no insult, but you sort of have Fox News’ back, along with Fox friends around the media and in politics, for your help running interference. But... What about Benghazi, Chappaquiddick, an...

Kagro in the Morning - June 9, 2022

TONIGHT, at 8 PM Eastern, 7 Central, 6 Mountain and 5 Pacific, the January 6 House select committees will finally be broadcast LIVE. David Waldman and Greg Dworkin will be tuning in, probably. (David hopes to work within his existing viewing priorities.) For you, and anyone interested in democracy, this will be must-see TV. You-Know-Who, TFG, will be definitely tuning in. After all, people will be talking about him, specifically the one subject Donald Trump has ever attended to. Sadly for ...

Kagro in the Morning - June 8, 2022

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin welcome you to the KITM Pre-pre-January 6 House Select Committee Hearings Special!  The hearings will be broadcast LIVE, EVERYWHERE*, June 9 at 8 p.m. Eastern, 7 Central, 6 Mountain and 5 Pacific! Get your programs here! You can’t know your players without a program! Except, of course, our exceptional regular listeners and readers, and even you might find some surprises. Jared Kushner’s anonymous BFF at the New York Times vouches Jared hated the old man, hone...

Kagro in the Morning - June 7, 2022

This week felt so long that David Waldman took the Tuesday KITM and ran it like it was Friday, solo. We’re so tired! Tired of guarding against Covid, and of hearing about so many dying of Covid. Tired of Ukraine and Russia, those years and years of Ukraine and Russia. And — here comes the January 6th primetime hearings! They had better be exciting! They better have all-new, blockbuster, easy to understand, clearcut information, with no slow spots! And they can’t be partisan — equal blame e...

Kagro in the Morning - June 6, 2022

Today, David Waldman and Greg Dworkin celebrate D-Day, the biggest Antifa holiday on the calendar! Today is a great day to punch a Nazi, even metaphorically.  Meanwhile, several more mass killings by shooting happened since the last KITM. 72% of the nation believes that these deaths could be prevented, however 44% of Republicans would rather they weren’t. 5 states are already taking action. Beto O’Rourke will run on gun control, again. Marjorie Traitor Greene will run on gun neglect, again...

Kagro in the Morning - June 3, 2022

David Waldman presents our Friday KITM Platinum Jubilee Donut Day Special (Free donut and lox with the purchase of KITM’s Queen-Size Haggis Breakfast at participating KITM World Headquarters, while supply lasts) If only we had a queen like Canada, a wave of a scepter might make gun control the way people really want, whatever that is. Instead, at a House hearing on gun control that could have used a bit of on-screen gun fail, we hear that animal traps are ineffective on the modern raccoon,...

Kagro in the Morning - June 2, 2022

Today, David Waldman and Greg Dworkin again report that we are again under the cloud of another mass shooting, right on the heels of… the twenty mass shootings following Uvalde, Texas. This catastrophe has a reason... they all have a reason, being that people who want to kill people cheap, quick and easy can find all the support they need to do so. That support seems to be eroding, finally. Republican sociopathy has been a harder sell lately. Who knows, perhaps the upcoming January 6 heari...

Kagro in the Morning - June 1, 2022

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin are back together for the first time this month, and are ready to make up for lost time: Poop Covid… or Covid poop... levels are looking pretty good but that should not be your sole criteria in determining risk. Wearing a mask will not protect you from hot takes but will still protect your health. The biggest issue with relentless mass shooting is the relentless mass killing, caused by the shooting. The people who care the most about what specifically is doin...

Kagro in the Morning - May 31, 2022

David Waldman ends the month and begins the week, sort of, getting us back on track from the weekend. The Uvalde Chief of Police hadn’t yet been sworn in, and that was scheduled for this week!  What luck! Almost no one has luck that bad. The Uvalde massacre didn’t happen to him, or his kids. It didn’t even happen in his country, and yet Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau understands the need to freeze handgun sales and buy back assault weapons. Republicans see Canada turning into som...

Kagro in the Morning "Encore Performance" - May 31, 2021, airing May 30, 2022

Memorial Day is a time for remembrance. Like, remember last Memorial Day? If you don't, we're about to remind you of it, by re-running last year's Memorial Day show, from May 31, 2021! Yahoo! Today (as was the case last year), David Waldman and Greg Dworkin call upon all Americans to remember, to reflect, and to thank those who have made tremendous sacrifices to keep our country safe and free... After that, have yourself a ball! Critics who planned to call Kamala Harris a professoria...

Kagro in the Morning - May 27, 2022

David Waldman brings us Friday, and it’s about time. Today in Uvalde, Texas, the ones hiding under tables are the police hiding from accountability. Uvalde had prepared for school shootings, just not one with scary guns and real bullets. Uvalde’s cosplay cops aren’t paid to face danger as if they were some “elementary school teacher”, you know. Last Tuesday the “serve and protect” part was self-serve. The cops aren’t the only ones running for cover. Lee Greenwood, Larry Gatlin and Don ...

Kagro in the Morning - May 26, 2022

Kagro in the Morning - May 25, 2022

Today’s weather report: Under the cloud of a mass shooting. Again. Unlike some other places we could name. Greg Dworkin, who has some experience with these things (which are not rare), helps us get through the morning with his news roundup, plus some suggestions about how to change the way the media covers these events. Or even (dare we say it?) reduce their number. Not that Republicans can be expected to help. If anything, you should expect them to try to make things worse. The only thi...

Kagro in the Morning - May 24, 2022

David Waldman catches us up on several items, including the continuing recovery efforts from collateral damage inflicted upon Loudoun County schools by the Glenn Youngkin’s campaign for Virginia Governor. Walmart is recalling their Juneteenth ice cream, not for health reasons, but because of bad taste... Theirs, not their product. No shortage — plenty of yummy Juneteenth red food is still available! Republican voter fraud was discovered in Michigan. Well, not exactly, but there was plent...

Kagro in the Morning - May 23, 2022

Victoria! Victoria! Victoria… Victoria Day! David Waldman and Greg Dworkin celebrate an undying monarchy, but mostly Canadians’ embrace of all the summer they can get. Allegheny County election officials are sorting through 1,900 provisional and mail-in ballots in Pennsylvania, and neither Mehmet Oz nor David McCormick feel like calling any vote fake. That’s strange, considering at least 357 sitting Republican legislators in battleground states have used the power of their office to discre...

Kagro in the Morning - May 20, 2022

David Waldman empties Pocket for our KITM Friday News blow-out Special. Stock up now for the weekend! You heard it here first, and because you did, you will hear it everywhere this weekend. The GQP in Colorado want a phony-bologna state electoral college to give them a chance of ever winning again. House Republican Barry Loudermilk loves giving tours so much that he made one happen on January 5, 2021, as the January 6th Committee will show. Dumbest MF in DC, Madison Cawthorn, is callin...

Kagro in the Morning - May 19, 2022

King of KITM, Local President David Waldman asks: What's next for Madison Cawthorn after his primary loss? Also: Who cares? Mads is certain to be forgotten much more quickly by Republicans than Democrats, for whom he’ll be a wistful memory like Aaron Schock, who may have a few things in common with Cawthorn, but definitely better fashion sense. Greg Dworkin talks about the growing significance of Tuesday’s elections. We are witnessing the birth of Fettermania! Soon all Democratic candidate...

Kagro in the Morning - May 18, 2022

How will Madison Cawthorn ever go back to his North Carolina cocaine orgy life after two years rubbing elbows in DC? Who cares, he’s going. Chuck Edwards, whoever he is, gave Mads the key bump he wasn’t hoping for last night. David Waldman and Greg Dworkin drop off the takeaways on Tuesday’s primary elections.  Cawthorn was an insurrectionist maniac, but that didn’t hurt him, as insurrectionist maniacs were the hot ticket for Republicans last night. Check out the results in Idaho, Oregon, ...

Kagro in the Morning - May 17, 2022

Today, David Waldman announces that Joan McCarter is moving! No, not from Tuesdays on KITM, but from Idaho, where her family has lived for generations, to reunite with kith and kin in Oregon. Also, it might be a good time for her to leave Idaho, away from the far-right extremists taking over the GQP and the state. There’s one Democrat left there to turn off the lights, and he’s running for Governor. Well, there are others who say they are Democratic but are actually Republicans looking to pa...

Kagro in the Morning - May 16, 2022

We are under the cloud of another mass shooting, or two, again. David Waldman and Greg Dworkin discuss the one Fox News will need a while to refocus upon, as it is based on the heart of their business model. The murders are Tucker Carlson’s fault, and each one pays his salary. Tucker’s long been pushing the “great replacement theory”, not only the shooter’s raison d'être, but pretty much the GQP platform for some time. Replacement theory is nothing new, but neofascist muscle is now taking it...

Kagro in the Morning - May 13, 2022

David Waldman successfully dodges all the machetes to bring us today’s Friday the 13th KITM: The January 6th Select Committee waited until the perfect time to subpoena five members of Congress. Perfect for whom is up for debate, along with the interpretation of the speech and debate clause in the Constitution. For Perjury Traitor Greene, the challenge to her running for office is now but a long-lost memory as Marge has been allowed a chance to insurrect again. Women in the US who are u...

Kagro in the Morning - May 12, 2022

Not to underestimate you, but David Waldman and Greg Dworkin probably deliver as much KITM as you can handle today. Russia continues to not win in Ukraine.  Some would say they are losing. Some, like the Institute for the Study of War. Some, like Ukrainian soldier on the ground in charge of blowing up stuff, Максим. Sanctions are turning Russia into a place Borat would be ashamed to work for. Russia is pulling electronics out of their washing machines in order to keep their military runnin...

Kagro in the Morning - May 11, 2022

David Waldman strictly follows the KITM plan for Wednesday success: A. Find out what Greg Dworkin wants to talk about.  B. Profit! Greg advises to always check with your doctor first before attempting to bury anyone in your backyard. Donald Trump is almost too stupid for words. The guy who wanted to nuke hurricanes planned to bomb China for shooting them at us, when all Trump really needed to do was to redirect a Jewish Space Laser at them. Mark Esper continues to come up with words on...

Kagro in the Morning - May 10, 2022

Sorry to disappoint our many new listeners tuning in to KITM today, but David Waldman’s talk in analysis of the oeuvre of seminal icon Steven Seagal concluded yesterday. In its stead we offer a smörgåsbord, a mélange, a salmagundi if you will… of stuff: A man bought a dog for protection, he bought a gun for protection, the dog attacked him, and he shot and killed his mom, on Mother’s Day. Many die with equal irony every day. Lisa Murkowski’s faith in humanity was shattered last week. She...

Kagro in the Morning - May 9, 2022

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin are back broadcasting from the KITM booth for the 77th annual Victory Day Parade and it sure is a beautiful day today, just not so much for Vladimir Putin, who needed to reach back, way back, to find a victory worth talking about. If you want real heroes and real fireworks, check out Ukraine. Oooooh!  Ahhhhhh! In the US, Pro-Roe mobs roam the streets calligraphing buildings implying to hint at an allusion to proto-violence, causing a few Republicans to reach ...

Kagro in the Morning - May 6, 2022

David Waldman tosses us into the maw of another weekend, but not without packing us a little KITM to remember him by: No one is more understanding and forgiving than Republicans. Grace and tolerance have always been conservative hallmarks, but never more so than since their embrace of Donald Trump. Trump does have some “foibles” that might earn him condemnation, ostracization, prosecution, or execution in some other groups, but Republicans still open their arms and welcome him back again a...

Kagro in the Morning - May 5, 2022

May the fifth be with you today. It’s America Gets Drunk Celebrating September 16 Day! David Waldman and Greg Dworkin break open a 2-hour piñata of news and information: Say what you will about Louie Gohmert, but there’s probably no video of him in his impetuous 20’s, naked, humping his buddy’s head… well, maybe a reel of Super 8. As for Madison Cawthorn, presently in his impetuous 20’s, there’s no such luck. Madison now holds the title of Dumbest MF in DC, not for the things he has been...

Kagro in the Morning - May 4, 2022

The leak of a draft majority opinion overruling Roe v. Wade might have knocked Ukraine out of the headlines yesterday, but it wasn’t the cause for yesterday’s KITM disappearance. That was due to an almost completely planned errand by honcho-host David Waldman. Greg Dworkin spent yesterday constructively, loading up his ever-loving raft o’ stories detailing the uproar. Or, “uproars”…  The Right is still fighting to say the N-word, but they finally got to shout “Insurrection!” from every roo...

Kagro in the Morning "Encore Performance" - May 3, 2021, airing May 3, 2022

Whoops! What a day to be out! But maybe it's for the best, just for today. Maybe you'd rather just wrap yourself up in the comfort of an old show. Like our May 3, 2021 episode. David Waldman and Greg Dworkin were back together again! Their pent-up news energy threatened to explode at any minute (as did Greg’s computer). Good news! The world has emerged victorious over influenza this year! COVID-19, not yet. India is calling their pandemic response a crime against humanity. In the US,...

Kagro in the Morning - May 2, 2022

Kagro in the Morning Worldwide licensed merchandise continues to hit snags. Our KITM-embossed ashtrays have been underscoring in focus groups, and now our Kagro-blooey! ™ unexploded artillery shells have run into an indefinite shipping delay. Where David Waldman comes up short in self-marketing though, he more than makes up in dropping dope bars. Hey, it’s Monday so Greg Dworkin is here to lead the roundup: The cringe of the White House Correspondents' Association dinner has been reboote...

Kagro in the Morning - April 29, 2022

It’s Friday! David Waldman dismisses class for the… WAIT FOR IT… only an hour fifty-eight to go. Twitter is about to be Elon Musk’s new pet. Buying it sounded like fun, but owning it… housebreaking it, feeding it every day…. That sounds like “work”. What is the world’s most powerful lazy sociopath to do? The Republican blueprint to steal the 2024 election is being strictly adhered to, as guided by the Republican playbook.  The only rule is that Donald Trump rules, and all Donald Trump wa...

Kagro in the Morning - April 28, 2022

David Waldman welcomes us, and Greg Dworkin to Thor’s Day, which Elon hasn’t bought yet. Good luck prying that one from Disney. Donald Trump described in an October 2021 deposition the one condition that would prompt the President of the United States to demand his followers commit violent acts against other citizens: If he heard they were going to do tomato. It's worse than tomato. He heard they might pineapple or do banana. It’s very dangerous stuff! Just call Trump a loser. Multiple R...

Kagro in the Morning - April 27, 2022

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin deliver another KITM still completely untainted by billionaires. In other world domination news, Russia ain’t doing so well. There are mysterious explosions throughout Russia, or at least they’re a mystery to Russians, especially Russian commanders who find it hard to stay in one piece, even on their side of the front. No one expected a woke army to be so tough to fight. No one expected Vladimir Putin’s planning to be so inadequate. No one expected Joe Biden’...

Kagro in the Morning - April 26, 2022

Elon Musk was thwarted in his hostile takeover of KITM yesterday when the board of directors of Twitter, Inc. stepped in front of the bullet for us. Twitter users will now need to transition from dealing with many trolls to dealing with all the trolls. Or, Elon might just flick a switch and turn it all off, once he becomes bored. It takes more than $44 billion to buy David Waldman. Probably. Only one way to find out. A new book comes out every week revealing new details on the planning a...

Kagro in the Morning - April 25, 2022

David Waldman, Greg Dworkin and all of us here at KITM World Headquarters hope that you had a happy Eastern Orthodox Easter weekend. Not a joke! It does always seem a bit late, but this year they might have wanted to even wait a while more. The Russian army continues to fight in Ukraine for Vladimir Putin’s life. They talk like they’re planning on adding Moldova to their world domination tour (with a short stop at the Aunt Anne’s), while in actuality their fighting capacity has dropped, fr...

Kagro in the Morning - April 22, 2022

David Waldman made it the end of the week without losing his mind yet, so let’s all hold it together for a couple more hours and hear what he has to say: A performer at a haunted house was shot when a man shot him with a gun that he thought was a prop. Many guns are props, but unfortunately, they are still guns. Yep, everyone knows that. Still happens, though. Guns killed more people ages 1 to 19 in the U.S. than vehicle crashes, drugs overdoses or cancer. You know that most of those guns ...

Kagro in the Morning - April 21, 2022

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin wedged some big rafts o’ stories into the dock today! Emmanuel Macron remains France’s least-worst option, because Le Pen couldn’t be less worse for all the people. Over in Ukraine, Putin’s genocide isn’t exactly going as he planned. That won’t stop Vlad from declaring “Mission Accomplished” in Mariupol, ignoring those obstinate Ukrainian Troops hanging about. Russia does completely control the gravel that used to be Mariupol however, which seems to be the ...

Kagro in the Morning - April 20, 2022

Hoorah! David Waldman and Greg Dworkin again wield the full force of the internet to bear us athwart the hebdomad convexity: Vladimir Putin is presently fighting World War III, or at least World War II, in Ukraine. Vlad’s definitely writing checks he cannot cash. Meanwhile, Ukraine’s rich uncle is going to make it rain, as howitzers, helicopters, tanks and fighter jets are now beginning to pop up like daisies. You can put time and effort into pointing out the illogic, hypocrisy and stupi...

Kagro in the Morning - April 19, 2022

Good news! If I understand correctly, those of you with toddlers in tow need not invest in diapers for those long flights, or any public transportation for that matter. Some would have you believe that might be “unsanitary" but actually, diapers don’t really “clean” anything (look it up) and when they get full everybody gets cranky, and no one has a right to tell me…  Oh wait. I’ve just been informed that I don’t understand correctly at all.  Well, I’m still a better judge than Kathryn Kim...

Kagro in the Morning - April 18, 2022

Looking for something entertaining, educational, and two hours long? You’ve come to the right place! Well, almost. We’re right up there… what, maybe two inches away, max? But, if you can’t find us here, check us out over at Libsyn or at YouTube, where you’ll always find us, never too far from “kangaroo fights”. David Waldman counts down the days to Eastern Orthodox Easter, somehow the source of 80% of our humor here. Greg Dworkin calls a meeting in the KITM War Room to discuss the upcoming...

Kagro in the Morning - April 15, 2022

You thought last week had a good Friday? Just wait until you catch what David Waldman has in store for today! More and more texts are emerging revealing the criminality of the criminals behind the January 6 insurrection. Mike Lee of Utah and Chip Roy of Texas bombarded Mark Meadows with helpful hints on how to reinstall Donald Trump, including bringing in “straight shooter” Sidney Powell. Texas Governor Gregg Abbott discovered that no day is a good day for traffic problems coming in from...

Kagro in the Morning - April 14, 2022

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin are back, baby. In Ukraine, Russia had its flagship shot out of the water like a Muscovy sitting duck. (China should worry that someone might develop a taste for Peking sitting duck.) Russia didn’t plan on bad roads and weather for their war, and their U-haul is almost out of rentals. Slovakia is sending Ukraine a Soviet-era air defense system as it does seem that they are fighting a Soviet-era army. Slovakia is a NATO country, as Sweden and Finland will be...

Kagro in the Morning - April 13, 2022

David Waldman is still “out”, but never out of things to say!  Thus, while David’s wife and kid are treated to a LIVE Kagro in the Car this morning, we likewise score an ALL-NEW hour of pre-recorded KITM! The State Department reports that the White House gift records for Donald Trump and Mike Pence are MISSING! Whaaaaaaaa? If only somebody had done something when they said we couldn’t instead of waiting until now when they say we can’t! Idiots, sycophants, and lunatics flock to Mar-a-Lag...

Kagro in the Morning - April 12, 2022

Today, as David Waldman carries on in his quest for an establishment of higher learning worthy of his son, it is an excellent opportunity to check out the two finest exemplars of Republican wunderkinds, Jared Kushner and Donald Trump Jr. After solving world peace and the COVID pandemic, Jared Kushner set out to make his name in private equity investment. So, one day Jared popped his head out of Saudi Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman’s pocket to ask for some money. Unfortunately, Jared had ...

Kagro in the Morning - April 11, 2022

Surprise! David Waldman planned a series of pre-recorded, all-new KITM episodes to fill in while he college shopped with his kid this week. Then, as luck would have it (good luck!) Greg Dworkin popped in and they were able to squeak out a LIVE show this morning! It’s only one hour long though, so if you really require a two hour show, you will need to play it at .5 speed: The better part of valor is discretion, but Vladimir Putin’s just not in the mood. Russia is not wisely retreating, so ...

Kagro in the Morning - April 8, 2022

It’s not Good Friday, but it’s always a great Friday with David Waldman and KITM! Nancy Pelosi, President Joe Biden's sister, and Jill Biden’s press secretary all caught the new (but not newest) COVID variant this week, along with a big chunk of DC, for yet another superspreader event to not get worked up over… but do stay careful out there! Russians are probably war criminals, certainly assholes, and will soon be on the ash heap of history but should never be confused with the Soviet Un...

Kagro in the Morning - April 7, 2022

David Waldman welcomes Greg Dworkin back to KITM, and all is right in the world. At least, our little corner of it. RIP Eric Boehlert, renown for asking questions many would not. Boehlert left a few big unanswered questions, killed bicycling, by a train. As young as age 57, he might have been only half finished. Russia has been suspended from U.N. Human Rights Council for systematic violations of human rights in Ukraine. You know they’re losing bad when atrocities become their strategy. ...

Kagro in the Morning - April 6, 2022

David Waldman slipped Greg Dworkin’s timecard through the clock today as Greg’s off “on assignment”, or something. Don’t worry, Greg should be back tomorrow! A Tennessee bill proposes to eliminate pedophilia simply... by putting a ring on it. No longer will marriage be held back by age, psychiatric disorders or mental capacity. It’s not “grooming” if your spouse isn’t old enough to comb their own hair, is it? TN Representative John Rose met his future wife back in high school… when he was ...

Kagro in the Morning - April 5, 2022

David Waldman delivers the Tuesday KITM and pizza… No, he thought you were bringing the pizza! Remember the good old days, when ducks didn’t wear pants, unless they were female, so they had a bow and no one asked questions and everything was great?  Ron DeSantis does, or at least he mandates that from now on that everyone will pretend that is the case. Anti-mandates and anti-cancel culture are so yesterday for Republicans! Why even anti-CRT is beginning to feel a bit passé once they felt t...