Kagro in the Morning - April 21, 2022

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin wedged some big rafts o’ stories into the dock today!

Emmanuel Macron remains France’s least-worst option, because Le Pen couldn’t be less worse for all the people.

Over in Ukraine, Putin’s genocide isn’t exactly going as he planned. That won’t stop Vlad from declaring “Mission Accomplished” in Mariupol, ignoring those obstinate Ukrainian Troops hanging about. Russia does completely control the gravel that used to be Mariupol however, which seems to be the essence of the Russian army strategy for the next couple of weeks in advance of their big victory party. Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy continues to be a great leader that plays one on TV. German Chancellor Olaf Scholz offered Ukraine a billion euros worth of arms… but he seems to have misplaced the requisition form somewhere.

Graphic schmuck on schmuck violence erupted on the set of Piers Morgan Uncensored recently. Sadly, both survived. In fact, this bromeopathic therapy will probably do wonders for our former guy’s macho image. Trump can’t lose, as long as he keeps winning. Steve KG Bannon first harnessed the power of angry assholes in large groups but needed Trump to be their king. Alex Jones, once the prince of pricks, has fallen from grace, and is reaching out to the Justice Department to snitch away some jail time. The throne is never empty for long and Chaya Raichik of Libs of TikTok is the newest ass in it. The New York Times is certain there must be somebody on the left just like each of the above examples.

Ron DeSantis wrecks vengeance upon the Happiest Place on Earth to bring it a bit closer to Florida levels. Desantis’ other crusade is against dangerous math textbooks, and for their replacement by one single publisher linked to Virginia’s Glenn Youngkin.

Marjorie Traitor Greene might be one of the first Reb officers to be questioned under oath, but she won’t be the last. Mitch McConnell and Kevin McCarthy were shocked to their senses for a moment after January 6 but slid back quickly under their respective rocks.

Donald Trump says that if New York really wanted those subpoenaed documents, they should have called before he ate them.