Kagro in the Morning - May 5, 2022

May the fifth be with you today. It’s America Gets Drunk Celebrating September 16 Day!

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin break open a 2-hour piñata of news and information:

Say what you will about Louie Gohmert, but there’s probably no video of him in his impetuous 20’s, naked, humping his buddy’s head… well, maybe a reel of Super 8. As for Madison Cawthorn, presently in his impetuous 20’s, there’s no such luck. Madison now holds the title of Dumbest MF in DC, not for the things he has been caught at, but for believing Democrats have anything to do about his plight.

Meanwhile, Republicans are putting a hold on their cocaine orgies to hunt down the Supreme Court Leaker. Senator Jon Tester believes the Justices weren’t being honest during their testimony and probably intended to take away people’s rights after all. Republicans can’t believe we fell for it and didn’t understand that all they needed to do was find 5 people to change the rules for 330 million. Joe Biden has been telling everyone for around 40 years about their threat to abortion, contraception, marriage, and privacy. Samuel Alito isn’t wasting his chance to realize the White Christian Nationalist fantasy of the 1950’s, Sam is aiming for the White Christianity of the 1730’s.

It is not the 1730’s anymore, however. No one wants an abortion ban. Americans would prefer these 5 people would just cut it out, and that someone would actually represent them. The minority plan is to get their 5 to rig as much as they can. 

Believe it or not, there might be worse coming down the pipeline. The thing to remember is that they only seem big and scary. Stand up to them and even the worse will fold.

So, what will Russia celebrate on Victory Day, May 9? Ukraine is already sending them off with fireworks. (Assisted by a little American know-how.) 

1 million dead in the US due to COVID-19, and yet so many still don’t quite understand the situation yet. You’d think professional journalists might be better informed.

Donald Trump had to pay about half of what he owed from what he stole way back in 2017. That’ll teach him!