Listen, Learn & Love Hosted by Richard Ostler artwork

Listen, Learn & Love Hosted by Richard Ostler

789 episodes - English - Latest episode: 4 days ago - ★★★★★ - 812 ratings

Welcome to our podcast!

My name is Richard H. Ostler and I am a native of Salt Lake City, small business owner, married father of six with several grandchildren. I believe in and am deeply committed to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and want it to work for a wider group.
I am the author of three books:

“Listen Learn and Love: Embracing LGBTQ Latter-day Saints” published in 2020 available at Deseret Book (deseretbook.com/product/5248297.html) and Amazon (amazon.com/dp/1462135773)

“Listen Learn and Love: Improving Latter-day Saint Culture” published in 2022. The book explores who we can do better to help all Latter-day Saints feel more welcome, needed and a feeling of belonging in our congregations. Available at Deseret Book (deseretbook.com/product/6003149.html) and Amazon (amazon.com/dp/1462139566)

“Listen Learn and Love: Building the Good Ship Zion” released in Sept 2023. The book explores additional topics to help all Latter-day Saint feel welcome and needed on the Good Ship Zion. Available at Deseret Book (deseretbook.com/product/6026921.html) and Amazon (amazon.com/dp/1462145280)

The purpose of all three books is to help us better create Zion by helping more feel welcome, a sense of belonging, and needed in our congregations.

Proceed from the books go the Stockton Power Memorial Scholarship (www.standingforstockton.com) in honor of Stockton Powers a gay Latter-day Saint teenager who died of suicide in 2016. Everything I do is a self-funded labor of love ❤️

I am the author of two Ensign articles:

‘How the Savior’s Healing Power Applies to Repenting from Sexual Sin’ (August 2020/YSA Digital Only) www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/ensign/2020/08/young-adults/how-the-saviors-healing-power-applies-to-repenting-from-sexual-sin

‘7 Tips for Overcoming Pornography Use’ (October, page 72) www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/ensign/2020/10/young-adults/7-tips-for-overcoming-pornography-use.

This podcast is designed to discuss some more complicated issues in our church to help all of us better “listen, learn and love” so we can minister in a more effective way to all of our Heavenly Parents’ children.

Podcasts are indexed by category at listenlearnandlove.org/podcasts

Thank you for joining us. You can't donate to this podcast. There are no sponsors. But you can leave a review/rate the podcast on the platform you are listening and/or leave a review at Deseret Book/Amazon on my books.

With love, Richard 'Papa' Ostler ❤

Twitter: twitter.com/Papa_Ostler
IG: www.instagram.com/papa_ostler
Facebook: facebook.com/richard.ostler.5
E-mail: [email protected]

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Episodes

Episode 513: Gay Latter-day Saint Women, Age 18, Anonymous

April 07, 2022 04:14 - 1 hour - 108 MB

My friend joins us via Zoom to share her story as a gay Latter-day Saint in this anonymous podcast. My friend shares her story to come out to herself, to others, to her parents on this deeply spiritual journey. She talks about the IG account she started @to_all_the_latterday_gays and the associated blog. My friend talks about how her relationship with her Heavenly Father helped her accept being gay and is key to removing shame and bringing peace. This is an excellent podcast from on...

Episode 512: Meghan Decker, New Book: Tender Leaves of Hope

April 03, 2022 02:27 - 1 hour - 115 MB

My friend Meghan Decker joins to talk about her new book (released on April 10, 2022) called “Tender Leaves of Hope. Finding Belonging as a LGBTQ Latter-day Saint Women.” The book is at Amazon https://www.amazon.com/dp/1462143288/ (paper-back and kindle with audiobook coming soon). Meghan (my friend from High School) shared her story as a gay Latter-day Saint in Episode 473. Meghan and her husband David (who recently moved to Provo, Utah) are the parents of 5 daughters and 15 grandchi...

Episode 511: David Bingham, Gay, Left Church in 1980, Returned in 2016

March 30, 2022 01:57 - 1 hour - 93.7 MB

My friend David Bingham (Age 60, Gay Latter-day Saint, Creative Director) shares his remarkable story. David talks about why he left the Church in 1980, his life outside the Church, deeply spiritual experiences, and his journey to return to the Church including receiving the Melchizedek Priesthood and his Endowment. David talks about what he has learned, the wonderful people who love him and support him, his supportive Bishop and Ward, feeling he would be celibate but then dating a wonder...

Episode 510: David Shill, Queer BYU Student, LGBTQ+ Resource Advisor

March 26, 2022 05:19 - 1 hour - 107 MB

My friend David Shill (RM Italy, 3rd-Year BYU Student, AZ native) joins us to share his story as a queer Latter-day Saint and someone who is very involved in the intersection of being at BYU as a queer student. He is co-founder of Cougar Pride Center (IG / FB @cougarpridecenter), an LGBTQ+ resource center for BYU students, and will soon be stepping into the role of Resource Advisor, which he discusses in today’s episode. Please consider following Cougar Pride Center on social media and donati...

Episode 509: Clayton Rasmussen, Gay Latter-day Saint, BYU Student

March 22, 2022 03:29 - 1 hour - 131 MB

My friend Clayton Rasmussen (Age 21, New York City RM) talks about figuring out his sexual orientation during Junior High and High School and then serving a mission. Clayton talks about his successful mission (including effectively using social media during Covid). Clayton talks about coming out to this mother and father after serving 18 months and then his Mission President (very positive experiences). Clayton talks about what led him to come out and they joy/love he felt afterwards. ...

Episode 508: Adam Garrett, Age 29, Gay Latter-day Saint

March 18, 2022 02:28 - 1 hour - 88.5 MB

My friend Adam Garrett (RM, BYU Grad, Physician Assistant, Active LDS) shares his story as a gay Latter-day Saint. Adam came out publicly in June 2021 via this FB post: https://www.facebook.com/agarrett93/posts/10220746190700360 Adam talks about what he is learning, personal revelation he is receiving, scriptures and Church leader quotes that are helpful. Adam also shares great insights on the difference between shame and guilt and how to find hope and purpose. Adam talks about the pos...

Episode 507: Alexa Norton, Tragic Death of Her Father Daryl on May 3, 2017

March 14, 2022 01:24 - 1 hour - 96.6 MB

My friend Alexa Norton bravely shares the story the sudden and tragic death of her father while skiing in May 2017 (https://www.serenityfhs.com/obituaries/Daryl-Norton-2/). Alexa is sharing her story to help others working through trauma and grief. Alexa shares about the actual experience, what she’s learned, validating grief, finding people that relate, the importance of reaching out and dreams. If you are dealing with the death of a loved one, Alexa’s story will help you. If you ...

Episode 506: Richard Ostler’s New Book: Improving Latter-day Saint Culture

March 08, 2022 14:14 - 1 hour - 85.8 MB

This episode launches “Listen, Learn and Love: Improving Latter-day Saint Culture.” The book is available at Amazon amazon.com/dp/1462139566 (paperback and kindle) and Deseret Book (late March). The purpose of the book is to improve our culture so more are able to connect with and benefit from our restored doctrine—and the healing and hope it brings into their lives. The chapters are: Chapter 1: Improving our culture to be nonjudgmental and more loving Chapter 2: Measuring progress...

Episode 505: Smith Alley, Age 18, Solving Porn, Finding Hope and Purpose

February 27, 2022 04:32 - 1 hour - 99.4 MB

My friend Smith Alley braving shares his 5-year experience with pornography—why it started, why he didn’t tell anyone, and what finally helped him stop, and why he is sharing this story. Smith also helps us understand the role of our Savior and His atonement, his parents, why we need to see ourselves as enough now. Smith talks to those who are suicidal to give them hope and perspective. Please stay my friends. Smith talks about deciding to talk about his pornography use which has l...

Episode 504: Dr. Tyler Lefevor & Sam Skidmore. Research to better support LGBTQ Members

February 19, 2022 20:30 - 1 hour - 84 MB

My friends Dr. Tyler Lefevor (Utah State Professor) and Sam Skidmore (Utah State PhD Student) join us to talk about their new research to help Ward/Stake Leaders better support their LGBTQ members. If you are interested in learning more about Tyler and Sam’s research, you can find more at www.4optionssurvey.com or www.lgbtqmormonresearch.com. Tyler and Sam have also put out a one-page handout of “best practices” for ward and stake councils in ministering to LGBTQ+ members that you can fin...

Episode 504: Dr. Tyler Lefevor & Sam Skidmore

February 19, 2022 20:30 - 1 hour - 84 MB

My friends Dr. Tyler Lefevor (Utah State Professor) and Sam Skidmore (Utah State PhD Student) join us to talk about their new research to help Ward/Stake Leaders better support their LGBTQ members. If you are interested in learning more about Tyler and Sam’s research, you can find more at www.4optionssurvey.com or www.lgbtqmormonresearch.com. Tyler and Sam have also put out a one-page handout of “best practices” for ward and stake councils in ministering to LGBTQ+ members that you can fin...

Episode 503: Jaxon George, Age 20, Gay Latter-day Saint, plans to pursue a Ph.D. in Chemistry.

February 14, 2022 04:38 - 1 hour - 113 MB

My friend Jaxon George (chemistry student at Dixie State University, RM) bravely shares his story. Jaxon starts with his childhood including a brother with Spina Bifida and Lincoln logs. Jaxon then opens up about gay pornography use in his youth and realizing he is gay (Jaxon points out that pornography use didn’t make him gay). In High School, Jaxon worked tirelessly (swim team, college classes, etc.) to kind of escape and/or overcompensate for the realities of his life. That dissonance le...

Episode 502: Dr. Terryl Givens, New Book “The Doors of Faith”

February 09, 2022 09:57 - 59 minutes - 81.4 MB

My friend Dr Terryl Givens (Senior Research Fellow at Maxwell Institute at BYU) joins us to talk about his new book “The Door of Faith”. Here is a description of the book: “In The Doors of Faith, Terryl Givens teaches that the surest route to a meaningful and enduring faith is a “witting” understanding of Jesus Christ and His gospel. Givens bears a strong personal witness of many unique aspects of the restored gospel, demonstrating that the Restoration provides us with the most morally com...

Episode 501: Tonya Baker Miller, Healing From Church Trauma, Strong LDS Families

February 04, 2022 07:50 - 1 hour - 100 MB

My friend Tonya Baker Miller (Licensed Clinical Social Worker, Active LDS, Married Mother of 4) joins us to share insights and principles to heal (and help others) who have experienced church/leader pain/trauma. She explores the possibility that what we often refer to as "faith crisis" could more accurately be framed as "trust crises", and talks about academic differences between faith and trust. She also has helpful insights on how the family can be a safe and healing place when trust in ...

Episode 500: Alexander Solis La Torre, Creating Safe Spaces and a Culture of Belonging

January 30, 2022 03:37 - 1 hour - 87.7 MB

My friend Alexander Solis La Torre (Worldwide Unified Co-founder, RM, active LDS, senior BYU student) joins us to share powerful and thoughtful insights on fostering belonging and creating safe spaces in our congregations. This podcast is an expanded version of the devotional Alexander gave on High Five Live: “A LONGING FOR BELONGING: Keys to Building a Safe Community & Becoming a Safe Person” (see https://www.facebook.com/HiFiveLive/videos/419121603010367), which is one of the finest sermo...

Episode 499: Iese Wilson, Gay Latter-Day Saint, Groundbreaking Work at BYU-Hawaii

January 25, 2022 04:43 - 1 hour - 121 MB

My friend Iese Wilson (RM, Age 28, Graduating BYU-H) bravely shares his story. Iese starts with reaching out to the President of BYU-Hawaii to share his story as a gay student and the resulting positive meeting (along with others from BYU-H administration) that occurred. Iese also talks about the many closeted BYU-H students who have reached out to him and shares about the complexity of coming another country/culture and being LGBTQ in The Church. Iese also talks about his supportive B...

Episode 498: Brooke Anderson, Lesbian Latter-day Saint

January 20, 2022 03:49 - 1 hour - 87.8 MB

My friend Brooke Anderson (RM, Masters student at BYU, Author) shares her story. Brooke talks about her journey to understand and then accept her sexual orientation (which included a annulled marriage). Brooke talks about working through anger with God and the Church and why she remains a committed and believing member of the Church. She also talks about why she is sharing her sexual orientation with others including her book “Through My Lens” available at Barns and Noble (https://www....

Episode 497: Brittany(cisgender)& Maeve(transgender) Sechrist, Married LDS Couple

January 15, 2022 04:11 - 1 hour - 121 MB

My friends Brittany and Maeve Sechrist (married with three children) share their story with Maeve coming out to Brittany as transgender in July of 2021. Maeve shares feeling gender dysphoria for many years and what led her to finally come out to her wife. Brittany shares her reaction and subsequent journey to love, learn and support Maeve and how their marriage is strong, healthy and full of hope. Brittany and Maeve share the things they are learning, commitment to the Church, person...

Episode 496: Rebecca Snedegar, Recently Divorced, Former Husband is Gay, Maintaining Friendship

January 11, 2022 04:37 - 1 hour - 94.8 MB

My friend Rebecca Snedegar (Active LDS, RM, Mother) bravely shares her story of her 7 year marriage ending when her husband Ammon came out as gay. Rebecca talks about both the pain of having her marriage end and compassion for her husband (who was always faithful) as they both concluded their best paths forward were to separate. Rebecca (who remains friends with her former husband and his family) talks about how her testimony of the Church remains strong and growing, how she is handling ...

Episode 495: Brandon Kellogg, New Book “Honorably Excused”

January 07, 2022 15:13 - 31 minutes - 43.5 MB

My friend Brandon Kellogg joins us to talk about his new book “Honorably Excused” (available at Amazon https://www.amazon.com/dp/B09P8LY87Y/). Brandon talks about his own journey to serve a mission (check out Episode 266 for more of his story) and how we should create more support and understanding for Latter-day Saints who feel their path is to not serve a mission. I encourage everyone to check out this episode and Brandon’s book. Thank you Brandon for being on the podcast and your...

Episode 494: Justice Burt, Gay, Age 20, Convert

January 04, 2022 04:08 - 1 hour - 101 MB

My friend Justice Burt shares his story of coming out as gay in middle school (which was a generally positive experience), being atheist/agnostic during middle/school early high school, and then his journey to join the Church. It is a unique and remarkable story. Justice talks about being gay and how he originally felt that was not compatible to being in a Christian religion. Justice talks about his friends and their love and support that gradually created a shift in Justice to be open to...

Episode 493: Taylor Kerby: LDS Author of New Book on Scrupulosity

January 01, 2022 05:15 - 1 hour - 115 MB

My friend Taylor Kerby (active LDS, Two Masters Degrees, PhD candidate) talks about his new book called “Scrupulous: My Obsessive Compulsion for God” which is at Amazon (https://www.amazon.com/Scrupulous-My-Obsessive-Compulsion-God-ebook/dp/B09NFLLPMD). In the podcast Taylor bravely talks about his own journey with Scrupulosity discussing what it is, how it put him in a difficult place, and what he did to overcome it. Taylor, who has a Masters Degree in Religion from Clairmont, goes f...

Episode 492: Ginger Price, Resigned from Church, Positive Experience Sharing Her Journey

December 29, 2021 05:41 - 1 hour - 107 MB

Episode 492: Ginger Price, Resigned from Church, Positive Experience Sharing Her Journey with Stake Presidency/Bishops My friend Ginger McKnight Price (married mother of four, RM) shares her journey with serving a mission (good experience) and then the events that led her to resign from the Church in 2018. Ginger is open, vulnerable and honest. She is not asking others to leave or not believe in the Church but shares the pain of having her faith shift and losing her community and a...

Episode 491: Dr. Lacey Bagley, LMFT (she/her), Queer LDS, Owner of Celebrate Therapy

December 26, 2021 04:53 - 1 hour - 92.9 MB

My friend Dr. Lacey (she/her; married mother of two) shares her story as a queer Latter-day Saint. Lacey talks about growing up as a Latter-day Saint and remaining a practicing member of the Church, following her impressions to change her career path (which includes getting a masters degree and PhD in marriage and family therapy), finding her husband Evan (who loves and supports Lacey), coming out as queer, and then opening a queer clinical practice for queer client. Dr. Lacey also shared h...

Episode 490: Jackson Jensen, Gay Latter-day Saint

December 22, 2021 05:07 - 1 hour - 90.1 MB

My friend Jackson Jensen (age 22, RM from Lubbock Texas) shares his story. Jackson starts bravely sharing his story being a survivor of sexual abuse at age 8. Jackson, with a prompting from the Spirit, at age 16 told his family about his sexual abuse and how freeing and helpful it was to finally open up about this traumatic experience. Concurrent with telling his family about this sexual abuse, Jackson is privately working to understand his sexual orientation. The journey continued ...

Episode 489: Benée Larsen and Heidi Peterson Dutson, Suicide Prevention

December 19, 2021 02:00 - 1 hour - 119 MB

n this episode, Benée and Heidi share their experience to help us better understand the resources available in Utah to help those struggling with suicide ideation. In particular, they explore resources that can help faith climates develop a culture of safety, help-seeking and hope. Research shows that talking about suicide reduces stigma and risk associated with suicide ideation. QPR Training in faith settings is a great way to help others understand their role in suicide prevention, espec...

Episode 488: Spencer H., RM, Paraglider Pilot, Gay Latter-day Saint

December 16, 2021 06:51 - 1 hour - 90.9 MB

My friend Spencer H. shares his journey as a gay Latter-day Saint. Spencer talks about the difficult and dark times—especially in his early twenties—trying to date women and reconcile the complexity of his life. Spencer talks about opening up to his parents and siblings and how they walked together with him on his journey. Their guidance and encouragement helped him seek personal revelation for his path forward which led to hope, a strong relationship with God, and clarity. Spencer is in...

Episode 488: Spencer Heilner, RM, Paraglider Pilot, Gay Latter-day Saint

December 16, 2021 06:51 - 1 hour - 90.9 MB

My friend Spencer Heilner shares his journey as a gay Latter-day Saint. Spencer talks about the difficult and dark times—especially in his early twenties—trying to date women and reconcile the complexity of his life. Spencer talks about opening up to his parents and siblings and how they walked together with him on his journey. Their guidance and encouragement helped him seek personal revelation for his path forward which led to hope, a strong relationship with God, and clarity. Spencer ...

Episode 487: Jonathan Rogers, LGBTQ Ally

December 12, 2021 23:58 - 1 hour - 96 MB

My friend Jonathan Rogers (Married father of two) joins us from his home in Georgia to share some of his story. Jonathan starts by bravely sharing working through worthiness issues in his teens which put him in a dark place feeling outside of God’s love and full of shame. Jonathan talks about the love, kindness and compassion he would give to his younger self to eliminate needless shame and self-loathing. Jonathan talks about his road to listen to LGBTQ Latter-day Saints and their ofte...

Episode 486: bj Nelson, Transgender Woman, Age 67, Married, Active LDS

December 10, 2021 01:42 - 1 hour - 95 MB

My friend bj Nelson (RM, active LDS, married with 4 children and 14 grandchildren) shares her story of over fifty years of gender dysphoria. bj shares the decision to finally come out to her wife Donna in April 2017 and her time in the closet “expired”. bj talks about the role of Encircle to provide hope and healing. bj talks about the personal revelation she is receiving from her Heavenly Father and how she believes He loves all of her—and how bj would not longer choose a different r...

Episode 485: Dr. Susan R. Madsen, Utah State Professor, LDS Author

December 07, 2021 03:39 - 58 minutes - 80.9 MB

My friend Dr. Susan Madsen (married mother of four and two grandchildren) joins us to talk about her new book called “A Future Only God Can See For You: A Guide for Teen and Young Adult Women and Preparing to Lead” (https://www.amazon.com/Future-Only-God-Can-See/dp/1462140521). This is an important book for LDS women to see and act on their God given potential and mission to lead. Susan shares insights from her own journey as a Latter-day Saint women following her impressions ‘to not sta...

Episode 484: Frasier Perez, Early-Release Missionary

December 03, 2021 04:31 - 1 hour - 85.3 MB

My friend Frasier Perez, who grew up in Temecula California, shares his story of being an early release missionary from the McAllen, Texas mission. Frasier, during his first transfer, shares realizing he was experiencing something different than normal homesickness as this emotional health declined which led to thoughts of suicide. Frasier bravely opened up with those thoughts to his mission leaders, companion, and family which led to the help he needed and deserved. During his secon...

Episode 483: Barry Donakey, Gay Latter-day Saint

December 01, 2021 06:24 - 1 hour - 85.7 MB

My friend Barry Donakey (BYU Senior, BYU English/Spanish Studies Major) shares his story. Barry (who graduated from Timpanogos High School in 2016) talks about “when did you know,” managing expectations for a heteronormative marriage, and coming out to family and friends (great support). Barry talks about the need to improve Church culture to talk about supporting LGBTQ members and hearing their stories in church-supported settings. Barry shares his experience with the LGBTQ+ & Allies work...

Episode 482: Jaime Clemmer, 10-Year-Old Son Sawyer’s Sudden Death

November 28, 2021 05:16 - 1 hour - 97.6 MB

My friend Jaime Clemmer, married mother of 4, joins us via Zoom from her home in Virginia to share the story their 10-year-old son Sawyer’s sudden death that started with a seizure at school. Jaime talks about her book (at Deseret Book and Amazon) called Heartbroken, But Not Broken (www.amazon.com/Heartbroken-but-Broken-Jaime-Clemmer/dp/1462140165/ or deseretbook.com/p/heartbroken-but-not-broken) Jaime writes: “We live in a culture that seldom speaks opening about grief. In some instan...

Episode 481: Gretchen Evans. Lost Brother to Suicide, Lost Sister & Her Twin Children in Accident

November 25, 2021 04:27 - 1 hour - 110 MB

My friend Gretchen Norman Evans (married mother of one, active LDS) shares the story losing her dear brother Jacob Norman to suicide while he attended BYU in May of 2019. She continues by sharing the story of losing her dear sister Alanna Norman Koons and her twin 18-month old daughters Ruby and June in a car crash in July of 2019. Gretchen and her family (a strong, open and very close family) are living with immense pain of the reality of losing so many family members. Gretchen shares...

Episode 480: Steve Haworth, Convert, Gay Latter-day Saint

November 22, 2021 05:27 - 1 hour - 83.6 MB

My friend Steve Haworth, who joined the church in Sept 2020 at age 41, shares his story. Steve, who came out at age 17, has been looking for a church that provides the best path for Steve’s desire to find a home as a gay believer in Heavenly Father and Jesus. Steve shares his positive experience with his missionaries (told them he was gay early in the teaching process), why our restored doctrine resonates with him, how he is navigating being gay and LDS, and how we can better support LG...

Episode 479: Pedro Munoz, Convert, RM, Gay Latter-day Saint

November 19, 2021 05:34 - 1 hour - 128 MB

My friend Pedro Munoz, age 35, joins us from his home in Colombia to share his remarkable story. Pedro shares knowing he was attracted to men during his teenage years, trying to date girls, and feeling broken and damaged. During this difficult years where Pedro worried if he really was gay he would be forced to live his life on the street in this life and in hell in the next life. Pedro talks about finding hope through his relationship with Heavenly Father and then finding the mission...

Episode 478: Brock Bevell, Solving Opioid and Pornography Addictions

November 16, 2021 05:45 - 1 hour - 87.6 MB

My friend and podcast host Brock Bevell (married active Latter-day Saint) shares his long journey to end his pornography and opioid addictions. Brock, a retired Mesa Arizona Police Officer, shares how pornography use and then opioid use came into his life. Brock then shares the hard work (along with Christ) to put these addictions behind him. Brock is honest, direct, candid with his story --- which is full of hope and real-life principles to help others. Brock hosts a podcast called Ch...

Episode 477: Shayla Slaymaker, Lost Two Brothers to Suicide

November 13, 2021 06:41 - 1 hour - 106 MB

My friend Shayla Slaymaker (Lawyer, Married, Age 29) shares her story about losing both her brothers to suicide. Her younger brother Chance died by suicide at age 14 in 2013, and her older brother Travis died by suicide at age 26 in 2016. Shayla, who has been on this immensely painful road for 8 years, is sharing her story in hopes of helping others who have lost a loved one to suicide. Shayla is also sharing her story to give hope and more tools/perspective for those who are strugglin...

Episode 476: Eli Wood, Recent BYU-Idaho Graduate, Gay Latter-Day Saint

November 10, 2021 02:58 - 1 hour - 116 MB

My friend Eli Wood shares his story for the first time publicly. Eli talks about growing up in an active Idaho LDS family and navigating his way as a gay Latter-day Saint. Eli talks about being happy but knowing he was different from other boys. Eli, who is currently a flight attendant, talks about trying to date girls and the emotional challenges of that road. Eli talks about his time at BYU-Idaho, including great experiences and very difficult experiences (hearing difficult experience...

Episode 475: Stephanie Snell Povey, Active LDS Mother of Gay Daughter

November 07, 2021 00:00 - 1 hour - 92.5 MB

My friend Stephanie Povey (married mother of three daughters and two granddaughters) joins us to share her story. Stephanie starts with her own childhood and not fitting the cultural norms while growing up in a small Utah town. She was called a "tomboy" because she wanted to take part in activities that were considered only for boys. Being told she couldn't and shouldn't want to, led to feelings of shame and not belonging. Stephanie reveals some of her personal "anchoring experiences" that ...

Episode 474: Wes Haws

November 05, 2021 02:00 - 55 minutes - 76.5 MB

My friend Wes Haws shares his story. Wes talks about coming out as gay after serving a mission to his future wife. They decided to get married and that marriage lasted 11 years. During these years, Wes survived a brutal attached in Ethiopia which resulted in difficult health and financial challenges. Wes rebuilt his career and now owns Blue Zoon (https://bluezoo.us/). Wes also talks about finding a way to move forward and the work he has done (including therapy) to accept and love h...

Episode 473: Meghan Peters Decker, Age 60, Gay Latter-day Saint

November 02, 2021 04:04 - 1 hour - 103 MB

My friend Meghan Decker(from High School) shares her story as a gay Latter-day Saint. Meghan and her husband David are the parents of 5 daughters and 15 grandchildren. Meghan is active in the Church and is a wonderful marriage. Meghan shares her journey to come out to herself and then her husband and family in her 50’s. Meghan talks about how coming out reduced shame, helped her be authentic and improved her emotional health. Meghan shares how her marriage works, why she decided t...

Episode 472: Peter Fillerup, Gay Latter-day Saint

October 30, 2021 03:01 - 1 hour - 95.8 MB

My friend Peter Fillerup (age 31, RM, Architectural & Interior Designer), shares his story. Upon returning home from his successful mission in Los Angeles, Peter spent about ten years trying to date women. Peter talks ‘waiting for the attraction to happen’ and concludes with feeling ‘I’m screwed up”. In late 2020, Peter started to consider he is gay. That journey involved his family, personal revelation, and deep reflection. Peter shares his story of coming out in 2021 and how much b...

Episode 471: Colby Majors, Gay Latter-day Saint

October 27, 2021 04:36 - 1 hour - 100 MB

My friend Colby Majors (mid 30’s, convert, RM, going through a divorce, father of one) shares his journey. Colby talks about knowing he was gay in his teenage years, joining the Church at age 17 and serving a mission, and then getting married. Colby talks about why, after 15 years of marriage, he felt he needed to finally come out as gay to his wife and family. That reality has led Colby and his wife to separate and are headed to a divorce Colby talks about his love for his Heavenly ...

Episode 470: Dr. Mark White, LDS/LGBTQ Research Request

October 24, 2021 03:01 - 56 minutes - 77.3 MB

My friend Dr. Mark White (active Latter-day Saint, Director, MFT Doctoral Programs, Department of Marriage and Family Sciences, Northcentral University [NCU]) joins us to talk about a research study designed to better understand the experience of current/former LGBTQ Latter-day Saints). Dr. White is joined by the other members of the research team, Dr. Beth Patrick (Associate Professor of Marriage and Family Sciences at NCU) and Tyra Williams (PhD student in Marriage and Family Therapy). ...

Episode 469: Joseph Stith, Gay Latter-day Saint, Married Father of Two, Former Bishop

October 22, 2021 02:11 - 1 hour - 91.2 MB

My friend Joseph Stith (active LDS, Convert, Former Marine, RM from Houston, Former President of Northstar, early 60s) shares his story as a gay Latter-day Saint. Joseph talks about his healing journey with his Savior that first started with a desire to change his sexual orientation and later changed to accepting his sexual orientation. Joseph shares knowing he was gay while serving in the military and throughout his mission, his marriage and during his service as a Bishop. Joseph shares...

Ep. 468: Joey Sheppard (queer BYU student, they/them) and Dr. Sarah Coyne (BYU Professor, she/her)

October 20, 2021 03:09 - 53 minutes - 74.3 MB

My friends Joey Sheppard and Dr. Sarah Coyne talk about their new research project to better understand how church culture impacts LGBTQ Latter-day Saints. Their qualitative research (interviews) is open for new participants who are 1) 18 and older; 2)LGBTQ+; 3) Current or former Latter-day Saints. The goal of the research (supported by BYU) is to better understand how to improve the experience for LGBTQ members in our Church. You can learn more about the research project in their flyer ...

Episode 467: Spencer Cottle, Gay BYU Student

October 17, 2021 03:16 - 1 hour - 102 MB

My friend Spencer Cottle joins us to share his story as a gay Latter-day Saint. Spencer, who grew up in Williamsburg Virginia, talks about coming out in 2018 to his bishop and parents (good experience) prior to his successful mission to Madagascar. Once home from his mission, Spencer talks about needing to face and address the realities of figuring out his future as a gay Latter-day Saint. That led to deeply spiritual experience that Spencer shares on the podcast and feelings about h...

Episode 466: Scott and Molly Hixson

October 14, 2021 02:00 - 1 hour - 106 MB

My friends Scott and Molly Hixson (married for 28 years, parents of five children, and one grandchild) join us to share their story. About 15 years ago, Scott came out to Molly with his same-sex attraction. Scott and Molly talk about the things they did during the last 15 years to keep their marriage together. The effort significantly accelerated over the past year as they did the hard work needed to bring their marriage into a very healthy and sustainable place. Their story is a beautif...

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