Sami Rants
85 episodes - English - Latest episode: 2 months ago - ★★★★★ - 1 ratingWelcome to my inner thoughts.... The conversations I have with myself..... Sometimes they are funny, happy, weird and sometimes they are sad.... But hey I'm only human trying to share my story in this crazy world;
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Episodes
The friend zone is my jam
February 24, 2024 18:00 - 5 minutes - 3.67 MBA uniquely comedic and unscripted rant on why I love the friend zone. After 3 months older podcasts expire till I decide to take my podcast more serious and get a real podcast host subscription. If you wish to find old podcasts please visit my website at www.SamiPeculiar.com FOLLOW ME .:WEBSITE: https://samipeculiar.com .:INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/sami.peculiar
Internet Dating
February 18, 2024 03:00 - 14 minutes - 10.1 MBA uniquely comedic and unscripted rant on why internet dating is horrible. After 3 months older podcasts expire till I decide to take my podcast more serious and get a real podcast host subscription. If you wish to find old podcasts please visit my website at www.SamiPeculiar.com FOLLOW ME .:WEBSITE: https://samipeculiar.com .:INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/sami.peculiar
Mentally stimulate me
February 10, 2024 19:00 - 7 minutes - 5.16 MBA uniquely comedic and unscripted rant on how I require mental stimulation to get turned on. “…Guys think that the way to get a girl turned on these days is by saying they have a nice big dick...” After 3 months older podcasts expire till I decide to take my podcast more serious and get a real podcast host subscription. If you wish to find old podcasts please visit my website at www.SamiPeculiar.com FOLLOW ME .:WEBSITE: https://samipeculiar.com .:INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/sami....
First Kiss
February 03, 2024 16:00 - 8 minutes - 5.89 MBA uniquely comedic and unscripted rant on my first kiss of sorts... "So I played the whole Julia Roberts Pretty Woman I don’t kiss on the mouth thing” After 3 months older podcasts expire till I decide to take my podcast more serious and get a real podcast host subscription. If you wish to find old podcasts please visit my website at www.SamiPeculiar.com FOLLOW ME .:WEBSITE: https://samipeculiar.com .:INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/sami.peculiar
Losing my virginity
January 27, 2024 20:00 - 11 minutes - 7.74 MBA uniquely comedic and unscripted rant on losing my virginity and why I talk about sex so much. After 3 months older podcasts expire till I decide to take my podcast more serious and get a real podcast host subscription. If you wish to find old podcasts please visit my website at www.SamiPeculiar.com FOLLOW ME .:WEBSITE: https://samipeculiar.com .:INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/sami.peculiar
Sexual Hiatus
January 21, 2024 18:00 - 13 minutes - 6.1 MBA uniquely comedic and unscripted rant on why I have not had sex in over 2 years and why I will continue to do so. " I started having sex very young and it was all bad... So I guess I don't have good memories and good experiences relating to sex... So I'm just not tempted or dying to have sex again… I mean I want to but I want it to be good like in the movies you know… I know that's like asking for a lot but I want that movie sex… Yeah I want the sex that comes with so much more than just {...
Filter Face
January 14, 2024 23:00 - 7 minutes - 4.9 MBA uniquely comedic and unscripted rant on why I choose to not use natural looking yet oh so unnatural filters on social media… After 3 months older podcasts expire till I decide to take my podcast more serious and get a real podcast host subscription. If you wish to find old podcasts please visit my website at www.SamiPeculiar.com FOLLOW ME .:WEBSITE: https://samipeculiar.com .:INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/sami.peculiar
Burning it up in the new year
January 08, 2024 00:00 - 15 minutes - 10.9 MBA uniquely comedic and unscripted rant on starting the new year off with a fever... After 3 months older podcasts expire till I decide to take my podcast more serious and get a real podcast host subscription. If you wish to find old podcasts please visit my website at www.SamiPeculiar.com FOLLOW ME .:WEBSITE: https://samipeculiar.com .:INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/sami.peculiar
New Year’s Resolutions
January 02, 2024 03:00 - 7 minutes - 5.48 MBAn unscripted and unique rant on New Year’s resolution and goal setting. After 3 months older podcasts expire till I decide to take my podcast more serious and get a real podcast host subscription. If you wish to find old podcasts please visit my website at www.SamiPeculiar.com FOLLOW ME .:WEBSITE: https://samipeculiar.com .:INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/sami.peculiar
Money Can't Buy Happiness
September 24, 2021 04:00 - 5 minutes - 3.67 MBI’m trying to do the hustle and the grind on the side and nothings… you know… taking off like immediately… who would have fucking known!!?… like I’m just impatient…. All I keep thinking is I went from making “this” a day and now I’m only making “sometimes this”… But like also… in one fucking day… I made the most money I ever made…. I made enough to pay my rent next month… Like next week… I made enough to pay my rent next week…. visit SamiPeculiar.com for the full podcase transcript and ar...
You don't know what lonely is
September 17, 2021 00:00 - 1 minute - 959 KBI’ve been alone for so long, it’s just like normal to me And I think it’s funny when I hear people or see people that just like don’t know how to be alone or they are just so codependent its sad Like those people… I just feel like becoming Robin William’s in Jumanji You know, when he comes out of the jungle and is like ”what year is this?” I wanna be like “You don’t know lonely bitch” Like I’m over here, sitting in my fucking room looking at a poster with a bunch of fucking eyes lookin...
Older Men
September 08, 2021 15:00 - 46 seconds - 621 KBSo my uh… 20 year old… cute little co-worker… She was telling me how this one client was flirting with her and he’s older And I was like wait? what’s older? she says “like 38” I’m like oh… that’s just like… my age But I’m like also thinking like “NO bitch they don’t get better with age, they get more fucked up with age” They are so fucking damaged Don’t go older bitch, you need to go younger, you need to get em like… locked up… like right out of the womb you know and you need to train...
Pandemic Hairstylist
September 02, 2021 15:00 - 7 minutes - 5.43 MBSo… Working as the bottom of the barrel hairstylist at a chain salon…. for over a year now during a pandemic has been fucking shitty… Ya know… You’re getting people that are… like ass holes… they think they are entitled… they think they are something…cuz… just… the… yeah… {???} they think they are something… And they think they are going to like, a world famous barber… and they are gonna get the world famous fucking fade…and they are gonna… they are paying so much cuz its $19.50… Nineteen...
Health Insurance today
September 02, 2021 15:00 - 4 minutes - 2.98 MBEpisodes are deleted after 3 months to hear more visit SamiPeculiar.com or follow me on Instagram at @Sami.Peculiar . . . Dude… I just want to say…. I… don’t remember health insurance being…. this… like…. ridiculous…. to sign up for…. But then also…. I never signed up for health insurance…. In my life…. I had my parents health insurance till I was 26 and then they booted me off that shit… And then I was on the medical, welfare type health shit when I was really… you know… down...
I’m done
April 06, 2021 01:00 - 1 minute - 1.11 MB.... “So I’m so like depressed for and emotional right now” .... .... “Walking around” .... .... “I just had to take all my f****** clothes off from like work and the bad energy that they were holding” .... .... “I had to take all those f****** clothes off” .... .... “I’m just walking here looking a hot mess, in slippers” .... .... “Like who gives a f****, why am I telling you this, that’s not my f****** point” .... .... “My f****** point is that I just ?!?” .... .... “What are these ...
Nice girl PTSD
March 29, 2021 05:00 - 1 minute - 1.03 MB.... “It’s interesting how I’m pretty sure Ihave a lot of PTSD” .... .... “Because of my personality type. . .” …. …. “I end up getting taken advantage of a lot” .... .... “Physically, emotionally, mentall” .... .... “You know and maybe all three at once sometimes” .... .... “But um I’ve developed a lot of PTSD from it” .... .... “And I see it in so many different aspects of life” .... .... “I’m always feeling like people's actions are taking advantage of me. . . Whether they know i...
Enjoy the journey
March 28, 2021 07:00 - 46 seconds - 568 KB…. “There are things I like and there are things I don’t like” …. …. “There are things I want and sometimes, these things I want are actually not in the long run what I want” …. …. “So um” …. …. “Recognize this” …. …. “And I know that everything really was worked out for me this far” …. …. “And I know it’s gonna continue to” …. …. “So I might as well just enjoy the god damn journey” …. …. “You know” …. …. “And stop trying to control the outcome” …. …. “ Because that’s when. . . H...
Random thoughts and facts
March 26, 2021 06:00 - 43 seconds - 533 KB.... “So uh” .... .... “Sorry I’ve been a little MIA on the podcast” .... .... “Just uh. . . I don’t know. . . Trying to figure my life out” .... .... “Also . . . Uh. . . ” .... .... “Sometimes I have my cup that I drink my tea in and I clean it out in the shower while I clean myself” .... .... “I thought I wanted you guys to know that” .... .... “As I’m just showering and doing my dishes over here” ....
Sex, drugs, and orgasms
March 23, 2021 07:00 - 8 minutes - 6.13 MB.... “I used to be on anti-anxiety medicine.. . “ .... .... “I was a little emo, angsty kid and uh, {laughs}” .... .... “I like scraped. . . You know I wouldn’t call it cutting” .... .... “I wrote some freakin note and put a little blood on it so that like my mom could think I was serious {laughs}” .... .... “I was just being a dramatic little b****” .... .... “So of course my mom takes me to some doctor and was like {she’s broken put some pills in her}” .... .... “So I started on Pro...
Sami’s Voicemail
March 22, 2021 07:00 - 24 seconds - 312 KB.... “. . . Regular broadcasting tomorrow *maybe*. . . And sunny skies and positive vibes. . . Sending em your way” ....
No one is screwing me over anymore
March 21, 2021 07:00 - 2 minutes - 1.52 MB.... “I definitely wasn’t always the person who didn’t give a s*** about anything or what people do, say or think about me” .... .... “I was definitely the opposite of that for the majority of my life” .... .... “And unfortunately it was like my last {kind of} relationship, if you want to call it that, that uh really made me snap and just say f*** it ” .... .... “I’m so f****** done!” .... .... “Because. . .like. . .this m***** f***** like assaulted me and manipulated me” .... .... “It ...
All I want in a relationship
March 20, 2021 07:00 - 42 seconds - 523 KB.... “If it sounds like I’m peeing. . . . I’M NOT” .... .... “I’m just brewing some tea . . . So don’t get on my case about that” .... .... “After a long day at work and standing . . . My f****** feet, ankles, knees, back, arms, everything just hurts” .... .... “So all I want is just someone who’s gonna rub my feet and head and everything in between” .... .... “And um. . . Cuddle and not say a word” .... .... “Like that’s all I want in life, and if I ain’t getting that from someone wh...
Mad at the dolphins
March 19, 2021 07:00 - 4 minutes - 2.88 MB.... “So I don’t have a podcast, I almost wasn’t?!” .... .... “I was like you know what? F*** it, I’m not gonna do a podcast” .... .... “But then right now i just said f*** it, I’m gonna do a podcast” .... .... “I’m gonna speak it right now {this is what I’m doing}” .... .... “Then I’m gonna type that s*** up and put it up there so that we have a mother f****** podcast for tomorrow, OK?” .... .... “I don’t know who is listening but thank you and here goes” .... ** A very high, tired me...
Story time: oldest memory
March 18, 2021 07:00 - 2 minutes - 2.02 MB…. “I was thinking like what am I going to talk about? I don’t know what to talk about” …. …. “Let’s f****** do story time and let's start at the beginning” …. …. “I have a really bad memory. . . We’ll get to that later but. . .” …. …. “Trying to think of the oldest memory I have of when I was little. . .” …. …. “. . . And this one is so dumb but we’re starting at the beginning so here goes” …. …. “Um. . . I was probably about six I think. . . I don’t know” …. …. “I was young and we w...
Thanks for listening guys
March 17, 2021 07:00 - 3 minutes - 2.76 MB…. “I feel like I’m living on the edge right now because I only have like one podcast scheduled to go out” …. …. “ . . . They are so old when I listen to those I am like {god damn that’s an annoying b****}” …. …. “. . . I'm not postings that one, that one is so lame” …. …. “um… so…….” …. …. “I thought this is kinda cool actually” …. …. “It means that my podcast and blog posts and everything with my instagram posts and all that . . . {because it’s happening in the same few days} it’s l...
Small talk
March 16, 2021 07:00 - 3 minutes - 2.1 MB.... {rambling} .... .... {laughing} .... .... “What am I doing with my life. . . I don’t know. . . I. . . uh . . . It’s been weird” .... .... “. . . Like more than 2 years ago I moved states. . .” .... .... “4 hour away from my family. . . Most of them” .... .... “I didn’t have any really good relationships with any of em but at the same time its all I have and uh. . .” .... .... “I moved away from that. . .” .... .... “. . . I think I am pretty sure 100% I said that already. . ....
Getting good at being yelled at
March 15, 2021 07:00 - 5 minutes - 3.6 MB…. "Just waking up" …. …. "I'm up, I'm up, I'm up, I'm up" …. …. "I just was thinking" …. …. "Going down memory lane and how I used to just be this different person that . . . um couldn't handle stress" …. …. "I was like terrified of everything, Everything!" …. …. "I needed to be institutionalized, I mean I might still need to be institutionalized but whatever I'm happy" …. …. "Back then I wasn't happy and I was fucked up. . . or in a different way and um. . ." …. …. "Im just like wo...
Roast of myself
March 14, 2021 08:00 - 3 minutes - 2.3 MB.... “So I think its about time maybe I rant myself. . . Wait what is it called!? Roast! NOT rant” ... .... “Time I roast myself” .... {laughs} .... “So. . . Um. . . I had a much better version of how this was gonna go in my head but then the minute I get my phone out and record, I like loose it {the momentum}” .... .... “And uh I guess I need to restart this cuz this is just a blooper” .... .... “I was just thinking about how I don’t have like a lot of followers and then I was like I ...
I regret almost all the people I’ve slept with
March 13, 2021 08:00 - 4 minutes - 2.84 MB.... “I’ve had a lot of bad sexual experiences in my life and you can pretty much start at the beginning” .... .... “Let’s say like junior high school days already off to a bad bad start” .... .... “Let’s just say I don’t remember anyone teaching me about the birds and the bees or about self worth or self esteem or like none of that!” .... .... “I was just trying to think, out of the people I’ve slept with, um sadly I think its more than a few” .... .... “But what is everyone else’s few?...
Butterfly filter lips
March 12, 2021 08:00 - 1 minute - 900 KB.... “God damn these f****** internet filters, like they be getting me” .... .... “I done even like that the f***** butterflies are there” .... .... “I just like the tones that it tones my picture to, it smoother my skin to look like a babies ass, um like it gives what looks like cool eyelashes or something, and it lightens my eyes . . . AND THEY ARE DIFFERENT COLORS” .... .... “F*** yeah, of course i like that shit” .... .... “But um IDGAF about the butterflies but they are there” .... ...
Honor your pain
March 11, 2021 08:00 - 1 minute - 795 KB3/5/2021 .... “So uh, I just had this thought that uh, where ever it hurts is uh. . . F*** I’m high!” .... .... “Where ever it hurts you need to honor that, you need to thank it, don’t be mad, don’t be ashamed that it hurts” .... .... “F****** honor it!” .... .... “Like my ankles f****** hurt right now {laughs} from standing all day at work ok!? And um, they f****** hurt” .... .... “But I’m like you know what. . . I thank you f***** ankles for standing all day at work” .... .... “Th...
Why do I want to be a comedian?
March 10, 2021 08:00 - 2 minutes - 2.06 MB.... “I liked it. I liked the comedy of it, the sad dark humor of it and I think that’s probably cuz I have this sad dark humor” .... .... “Where the f*** ever did think I want to be a stand up comedian?” .... .... “I never was the person that was in the theater program who liked improve acting, I’m not that person” .... .... “Why do I do what I do?” .... .... “Obviously not making money type thing” .... .... “I just do it cuz its a way to fill my time and uh, be creative” .... .... “...
Insomnia
March 09, 2021 08:00 - 2 minutes - 1.61 MB.... “I don’t get why I have insomnia because I’m up before everyone else I know. . . but I’m also the last one to go to bed” .... .... “I don’t know, I’ve been doing fine, but I keep trying for 8 hours and I never get it” .... .... “I barely sleep 6 hours straight, I’m so light sleeper-y” .... .... “You took a long a** bath, you should be like ready to go to sleep like a f****** baby” .... .... “I still can’t f****** sleep” .... .... “So much thinking, its like building up inside my he...
Antiquing my tattoo
March 08, 2021 08:00 - 4 minutes - 3.31 MB.... “Got a new tattoo. . . I’m definitely, probably not taking care of it right” .... .... “f*** I can’t just like leave this bath water sitting on my tattoo” .... .... “How do I care for this but also I’m gonna stay in this m***** f****** bath” .... .... “. . . It look like made with chalk and its just gonna wash off” .... .... “Rough around the edges or something, like me” .... .... “If this shit f***** heals and scabs and the ink doesn’t stay some in some spots cuz I was bad . . . Y...
Most stable mentally unstable person
March 07, 2021 08:00 - 1 minute - 818 KB.... “{laughs}” .... .... “If you think I’m crazy, I get it” .... .... “The thing is I was normal, I was uptight, life sucked for me just like t sucks for you” ..... .... “It sucked so f****** bad I wanted to die, It was so painful I wanted to die” .... .... “It broke me” .... .... “I had to glue myself back together and i had a little fun glueing myself back so you know what i like this version of me better” .... .... “The Picasso me” .... .... “F*** society and that old version of ...
Place of happy heartbreak
March 06, 2021 08:00 - 2 minutes - 1.57 MB.... “It’s happy” .... .... “I feel like if you love somebody that means you accept them for who they are” .... .... “You can’t love someone and not accept them for who they are” .... .... “I think that’s where a lot of relationships fail. . . They think they love each other but their love is a shallow piece of s****” .... .... “No honey, NO” .... .... “You just want to see them happy” ....
New Tattoo
March 05, 2021 08:00 - 2 minutes - 1.84 MB.... “It was so intuitive what I wanted” .... .... “so far . . . 2 people are like {what are those lines mean/ what do those bands mean?}” .... .... “I’m like WTF” .... .... “Is this going to be the question I get asked for the rest of my life?” ..... .... “{WHAT DO THOSE BANDS MEAN!?}” .... .... “They mean absolutely nothing except that I liked them” .... .... “Why do they got to mean s***” .... .... “What do I do? {Do I make us some f****** awesome story}” .... .... “Or I could jus...
I’m good at being ghosted
March 04, 2021 08:00 - 2 minutes - 1.61 MB.... “I am like the best person for somebody to ghost” .... .... “I run the other way.... I don’t run to the god damn ghost” .... .... “I’m not gonna fight for your attention” .... .... “I was trying to pull this s*** out of this m***** f*****” .... .... “I need to feel like you want to be a part of my life” .... .... “I don’t want to play that game.... mmmm mm” .... .... “I’m like peace m***** f*****! I’M OUT” ....
Talking honestly to the spy cams
March 03, 2021 08:00 - 1 minute - 983 KB.... “I’m learning to be so openly honest and just like, I’m not trying to be mean, I definitely come off as nice as possible but I say the truth with no f***** in a nice way!” .... .... “. . . I know because I am the manager that there are cameras that are listening to us” .... .... “I’m like you know what? {I f****** love this}” .... .... “I’m gonna be f****** honest {in the nice way}” .... .... “I f****** hope they hear it! I DO!” .... .... “These m****** f****** need to hear this sh...
I’ve become my dad
March 02, 2021 08:00 - 1 minute - 856 KB.... “Sometimes I laugh and feel like I’ve become my dad in a way” .... .... “He was the one with the sense of humor, he was the one with the bad jokes” ..... .... “He was the one who was just himself” .... .... “Every night i like go to my bathtub and sit high as fuck just like my dad” .... {miss you daddy, Love you}
Cast iron love
March 01, 2021 08:00 - 2 minutes - 1.83 MB.... “Real love is like having a really well cared for cast iron pan” .... .... “You got to care for it and season that m***** f*****” .... .... “. . . .you got to cook with it, you got to throw some oil in it {some extra love into the pan}” .... .... “You got to keep putting love and attention into this cast iron pan and then you cook an egg and its f****** beautiful!” .... .... “Nothing sticks to it, It is like a beautiful love” .... .... “But guess what your done cooking and you gott...
Seizure
February 28, 2021 08:00 - 3 minutes - 2.31 MB.... “I always get this fear when I’m high that I’m gonna have a seizure” .... .... “ . . . And. . . That’s . . . I know because I had a f****** seizure” .... .... “When I was 18, it was 2005, I just graduated high school, I was uh. . . Kind of doing meth....amphetamines at the time” .... .... “. . .she thought I was having sex. . .” .... .... “ . . .I always kinda sleep topless. . .” .... .... “. . .I was foaming at the mouth, my eyes were rolled back, I was just seizing up. . .” ......
Secretive people are weird
February 27, 2021 14:00 - 1 minute - 1.09 MB.... “You know what always like confuses me about people {laughs}” .... .... “. . . Sometimes we got to get your name, number and email to like check you in for your appointment ” .... .... “UNDERSTANDABLE” .... .... “But some of these m***** f****** . . .” .... .... “They are so f****** like securitive” .... .... “What is that. . . overly security?!?” ..... .... “I DONT KNOW” .... .... “Super secretive!” .... .... “I’m looking at them and I’m like.... {m***** f***** you look like y...
High hypochondriac thoughts
February 26, 2021 08:00 - 1 minute - 779 KB.... “So I’m kinda high and also my body hurts” .... .... “Are my legs swollen from standing and working?” .... .... “In my eyes I feel like they look swollen, but then I’m also like NO they look normal and... um ... damn... like when did i get so muscular?” .... .... “Maybe that’s why your legs are so rock hard?!” .... .... “Are they swollen right now or are they just muscular? “ .... .... “They don’t look muscular, they look kinda chubby and swollen” .... .... “But also I know I am j...
Crazy bitch mind games
February 25, 2021 08:00 - 4 minutes - 3.13 MB.... “I’m just really f****** crazy when it comes to dating” .... .... “Actually, I’m pretty chill, like I don’t get crazy in the typical way your thinking” .... .... “I’m not gonna go stalker, I’m not that crazy” .... .... “I’m the crazy that’s playing mind games with myself” .... .... “Why the f**** have I spent a few day now thinking about this shit” .... .... “What the hell” .... .... “I get drawn back in because I realize I was a crazy psycho” .... .... “This is a hard f****** yo...
Funny love
February 24, 2021 08:00 - 2 minutes - 2 MB.... “Love really is weird and messed up...” .... .... “Why do we always want the ones we can’t have?...” .... .... “You got to sneak up on me cuz if I see you coming I RUN” .... .... “They just disappear and I’m over here like wait, what the f***” ....
Fall in love with me so hard
February 23, 2021 08:00 - 1 minute - 1.05 MB.... “I want someone to fall in love with me so f****** hard.... before they have slept with me” .... .... “If you haven’t fallen in love with me before you kiss me you don’t deserve to kiss me” .... .... “So I know you love me for NOT the sexual s****” ....
Supercuts stylist
February 22, 2021 08:00 - 2 minutes - 1.92 MB.... “If you do a good job people are super impressed” .... .... “If you do a bad job people don’t even know” .... .... “You win either way” .... .... “It’s like speed dating” .... .... “I get to find out if you got OCD” .... .... “Are you the type that is going to immediately shower after a haircut or are you the type that’s cool with it?” .... .... “Don’t be telling me to shower before I come over!” ....
Lost and found marbles
February 21, 2021 08:00 - 1 minute - 1.05 MB.... “My mom is coming tomorrow” .... .... “I’m wondering, should i remove all theses rocks from my bath?” .... .... “Should I take all the crazy notes off my walls?” .... .... “. . . Those are my m***** f***** marbles” .... .... “Those m****** f****** give me advice” .... .... “They are my friends, we take baths together” .... .... “I’m not f****** hiding my marbles, I just found them” ....
Is this rich
February 20, 2021 08:00 - 2 minutes - 1.52 MB.... “Dude you don’t need to pay $3.99 for a movie you already own...” .... .... “one 30 seconds with a real .....” .... .... “I’m pissed now thinking about it but just before this was the thought that I was actually not pissed about it” .... .... “I just waisted $3.99 on a movie rental I already own and I was like {is this what its like to feel rich}” ....