Sami Rants
85 episodes - English - Latest episode: 5 months ago - ★★★★★ - 1 ratingWelcome to my inner thoughts.... The conversations I have with myself..... Sometimes they are funny, happy, weird and sometimes they are sad.... But hey I'm only human trying to share my story in this crazy world;
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Episodes
Stranger danger
February 19, 2021 08:00 - 1 minute - 885 KB.... “I’m like dude, I ain’t f****** interested. You know way too much about me I know nothing about you” .... .... “I see what you like like at the size of a spider and i can only see the face skin between your hat and sunglasses....” .... ..... “Also you have so much facial hair I see nothing... I SEE NOTHING” .... .... “I don’t know your age, I don’t know your name, I don’t know where you live, I KNOW NOTHING” .... .... “Your a f****** stranger... uh uh..... not interested” .... .....
Not drink
February 18, 2021 08:00 - 1 minute - 1.05 MB.... “God f****** damn life has been hard, life has been s*****, I’ve been depressed, I’ve been stuck along, i just want to drink” .... .... “Let’s go, you can do it, but I’m like no... I can’t fucking do it on these bad circumstances” .... .... “So here I am just packing a bowl” .... .... “I’m waiting for a good time to drink but then it like good and I don’t need to drink” ....
Bulls**t
February 17, 2021 08:00 - 1 minute - 994 KB.... “You know what I’m f****** sick of, people and their bulls***” .... .... “They always want to bulls*** and cat fish and do that bulls***” .... .... “I can smell your bulls*** a mile away and I just can’t I’m so f****** sick of it” .... .... “Be real, people will respect the real you than the one that’s bull****ING them” ....
Nice Parking
February 16, 2021 08:00 - 2 minutes - 1.73 MB.... “I was like what.....” .... .... “They were like {nice parking job}” .... .... “You m***** f***** with your blonde ass dreads” .... .... “You think you all spiritual and s***” .... .... “It wasn’t even that f****** bad, I wasn’t even close to touching the line” .... .... “What did that serve to say that?!” .... .... “Do you know you just said that to a girl already on the verge of tears?!” .... .... “Do you know that, that girl is so f****** lonely inside and sad?!” .... .... “W...
I’m not too nice everyone just sucks
February 15, 2021 08:00 - 1 minute - 751 KB.... “Why the f*** am I too nice” .... .... “It’s not that at all, its that everyone else is a piece of f****** s*** who takes advantage of others” .... .... “They lack the common decency to be a human f****** being and a compassionate nice one” ....
Single, lonely w/ rocks in the time of COVID
February 14, 2021 08:00 - 4 minutes - 2.95 MB.... “When I’m not working then I’m not really around people” .... .... “There is very few people I enjoy . . .” .... .... “I’m alone and I’m an introvert so it’s not SO bad” .... .... “I’m starting to feel the lonely” .... .... “Here I am sitting to eat and I was just so happy to have that rock to sit with me” .... .... “I literally put the kyanite on my lap so we can be together because I’m a lonely woman surviving singe in the time of COVID” ....
F*** Valentines Day
February 13, 2021 08:00 - 49 seconds - 611 KB.... “I don’t want a valentine because there is nobody in my life right now that I think will stick around” .... .... “. . . they will just disappear, in a matter of time, days, weeks, months they will be gone and uh it hurts” .... .... “I think I’d rather just sit this one out” .... .... “F*** Valentine’s Day” ....
No thanks Spotify
February 12, 2021 08:00 - 2 minutes - 1.42 MB.... “It’s kinda doing me dirty lately” .... .... “FIRST, I think someone hacked into my Spotify” .... .... “Some weird a** non English music was all up in my liked songs” .... .... “TWO, it's always asking to listen to the commercial for 30 mins free but then still makes me listen to the commercial when I hit no thanks!? WTF!” .... .... “It’s feels so demanding” ....
Welcome to my podcast
February 11, 2021 08:00 - 3 minutes - 2.12 MB*Why did i start podcasting?* .... “Well, it started out with me being really lonely” .... .... “I’m a lonely b****” .... .... “I never get to just talk about what the f*** I want to talk about” .... .... “maybe I should record it?” .... .... “Crazy is crazy and we all know I’m crazy” .... .... “This is kinda funny” .... .... “I don’t want to have this just been a conversation between me, myself and I” ....
The rat race
February 10, 2021 08:00 - 1 minute - 1.04 MB.... “you kno what i hate about political obsessors, protestors and all those annoying people?” .... .... “Why the fuck aren’t they putting all that energy into themselves?????” .... .... “Stop checking out of your life to be in the f****** rat race!” ....
Gum Addict
February 09, 2021 08:00 - 5 minutes - 3.49 MB.... “Now I can’t chew gum cuz i chew too much f****** gum” .... .... “My damn teeth hurt” .... .... “Your 34 with the teeth of an 80 year old except they are white and not falling out” .... .... “The functionality of an 80 year olds teeth” ....
Shady internet boys
February 08, 2021 08:00 - 4 minutes - 3.14 MB.... “I wasn’t trying to get to know YOU, I just said thank you” .... .... “I’m a classy b**** who likes to do things the old fashioned way” ....
6 Months
February 07, 2021 08:00 - 41 seconds - 513 KB.... “Only if we can manage to have a friendship last for six f****** months . . . Then I will consider dating you” ....
Friends First
February 06, 2021 08:00 - 1 minute - 856 KB.... “I need to build a really strong relationship with you, WITHOUT sex” .... .... “You tell them you don’t want to have right away and they try on day 3!” .... .... “You Mother F****** . . . I told you day 1 NO!” ....
Your crazy match my crazy
February 05, 2021 08:00 - 1 minute - 956 KB.... “If I don’t think they have struggled and been through some f****** s*** . . . I don’t think your crazy can match my crazy” ....
My God
February 04, 2021 08:00 - 1 minute - 1.24 MB.... “I just don’t get why we think god is a guy” .... .... “We are pretty conceited to think its human AND male” .... .... “Sounds like a white male made that up” .... .... “I am just a spiritual human being that believes in being a good person” ....
Dude Categories
February 03, 2021 08:00 - 1 minute - 1.08 MB.... “I’m like a sheep dog. I got to round you up and find your category” .... ....”what type of dude are you”....
Dick Trap
February 02, 2021 08:00 - 2 minutes - 1.53 MB.... “Why do guys push to have sex so f****** early” .... .... “They want to catch you before you realize they are a terrible human being” .... .... “They think maybe {I can just use my d*** wand so she doesn’t see I’m a piece of s***}” .... .... “You have no good qualities, you think your d*** can save you” ....
Love at first sight VS true love
February 01, 2021 08:00 - 53 seconds - 650 KB.... “You will never know if it’s s true love till some time passes” .... .... “Just cuz its love at first sight doesn’t mean it’s true love” ....
Listen to woo woo s***
January 31, 2021 08:00 - 2 minutes - 2.82 MB.... “I try not to post too much of the anxious person recordings, those things are f****** dark” (laughs) .... .... “Once I started listening to all this woo woo shit....” .... .... “That will chill you out” .... .... “It may take some time but that s*** is getting in” .... .... “6 months or a year later that s*** is coming back to you” .... .... “Your gonna be like m***** f***** I’m a wise Piece of s*** now” ....
Be kind to yourself and others
January 30, 2021 08:00 - 1 minute - 978 KB.... “....I think then you know you had a good day” .... .... “do those things and then it can’t have been that bad of a day” ....
My jokes suck
January 29, 2021 08:00 - 4 minutes - 3.22 MB.... “I should probable title theses before I start recording so that way when i blank out and can remember what I’m talking about..... Cuz uh.... What was I saying” .... .... “don’t have any friends to lose so go for it” .... (Burps) .... “my stomach hurts, I’m a mess” ....
Life is a journey
January 28, 2021 20:00 - 1 minute - 1.15 MB.... “did it turn out exactly how it was supposed to?” .... .... “The spiritual ones will be able to see that it did!” ....
F*** Politics
January 27, 2021 08:00 - 6 minutes - 4.24 MB.... “I don’t know what side the right is or the left” .... .... “I don’t even give a f*** or want to know about any of that” .... .... “I don’t care what you believe as long as you are a good person” .... .... “let’s stop putting our mojo all over each other....” ....
Comedians have no bad days
January 26, 2021 08:00 - 1 minute - 828 KB..... “Not that I am a legit comedian or anything...” .... .... “I can think of my worst moments and think it’s f****** funny” .... .... “Everything is f****** awesome and peachy keen” ....
Getting cozy in hell
January 25, 2021 08:00 - 1 minute - 808 KB.... “I have finally accepted that my life is f***** crazy, s*** is always going to get f ***** up and it’s f***** hell” .... .... “I’m read, let’s go...” ....
Only 1 first time at a time
January 24, 2021 08:00 - 2 minutes - 2.03 MB.... "Maybe the first time you go to dinner with someone maybe should NOT be the same night you sleep with someone...." ....
Dick size doesn't matter
January 23, 2021 08:00 - 1 minute - 1010 KB.... "Big dicks are more disappointing than not big dicks" ....
Sex today is sad
January 22, 2021 08:00 - 2 minutes - 1.43 MB.... "Jumps in bed with said guy and puts his junk inside her" ....
Confidence and my weird witch voice
January 21, 2021 23:00 - 4 minutes - 2.82 MB.... "I know this because A.... I though of something so important to say that I had to do it while showering" ....
Oils & Rocks - Hippie Shit
January 21, 2021 23:00 - 1 minute - 853 KB.... "If this is the best damn outcome because my life was that f****** shitty and all of those oils and rocks actually helped and then THIS is the fucking holy grail here?!...." ...
Tatted Guys
January 21, 2021 16:00 - 1 minute - 947 KB.... "when someone can get a little happy face with a cigarette in its mouth type shit....." ....
What type of bush mama do I want to be?
January 20, 2021 15:00 - 3 minutes - 2.76 MB.... “keeps the boys away” .... .... “I don’t want NO boys around my kitty cat” .... .... “It’s like a chia pet” .... .... “It’s a triangle bush! Like a topiary bush” .... .... “keeps me from dropping trou- ” ....
Depression- Pour it down the drain
January 19, 2021 20:00 - 5 minutes - 4 MBWith a special guest appearance by my annoying a** cat Sandra .... "Depression is kind of funny when your older and slightly smarter" .... .... "I think every time your depressed your a dramatic little b****" .... .... "I'm more awakened now and I don't have as many f**** to give" .... "im just kind of going with it, allowing it but also i'm f****** lowww" ....
Welcome
January 19, 2021 19:00 - 9 seconds - 1.53 MBI don't know what I'm doing but welcome to my podcast.