Let's Just Face It
279 episodes - English - Latest episode: 7 months ago - ★★★★★ - 3 ratingsWelcome, I'm your host Rakel Colina. If you're facing challenges in your relationship, there may be hidden aspects that you haven't fully grasped yet. For years, I found myself in a toxic relationship without realizing the extent of the abuse until the day I finally walked away. Now, I'm here to assist you in identifying the abusive patterns and behaviors, but it's not solely about them. It's time to confront the issues that might be hindering your personal growth and preventing you from becoming the best version of yourself.
Ladies, together let's break down the barriers that hold you back from moving forward and embracing your best life, even in the aftermath of abuse. Remember, it's not just about seeing through their facades; it's about empowering you to overcome your own obstacles. By facing your fears, no matter how small, you can initiate significant transformations. Join me on this journey of self-discovery and liberation. Join me on this journey of self-discovery and liberation. Get ready to take charge of your life!
"Facing small fears can lead to big changes." - Rakel Colina
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Episodes
29. "You've Changed": A Journey of Growth and Transformation
May 27, 2021 09:00 - 19 minutes - 13.3 MBA lot of people come to you and say, “You've changed”, all the while you have been looking for ways to change from the person that you were previously. This is a good thing! Don’t get discouraged, this means that you are growing as a person and others are taking notice. Keep changing and keep evolving. Don’t stop yourself from taking the leap and making the changes. Some people will see this as something good, others will think it’s bad. There are people out there that like you and maybe e...
You're not crazy, he's just toxic
May 20, 2021 09:00 - 17 minutes - 12.1 MBYou're not crazy. He's just toxic when you are in a relationship and you start to hear that you're crazy, this is definitely a red flag. When you are in a relationship, you most likely started this relationship by a feeling of being in love, feeling good around this person. This feeling comes along with the feeling of trusting this other person and being confident that this person is there for you. No matter what, because this is what they have shown to you. You must grow to trust and bel...
28. You're not crazy, he's just toxic
May 20, 2021 09:00 - 17 minutes - 12.1 MBYou're not crazy. He's just toxic when you are in a relationship and you start to hear that you're crazy, this is definitely a red flag. When you are in a relationship, you most likely started this relationship by a feeling of being in love, feeling good around this person. This feeling comes along with the feeling of trusting this other person and being confident that this person is there for you. No matter what, because this is what they have shown to you. You must grow to trust...
28. You're Not Crazy, He's Just Toxic
May 20, 2021 09:00 - 17 minutes - 12.1 MBYou're not crazy. He's just toxic when you are in a relationship and you start to hear that you're crazy, this is definitely a red flag. When you are in a relationship, you most likely started this relationship by a feeling of being in love, feeling good around this person. This feeling comes along with the feeling of trusting this other person and being confident that this person is there for you. No matter what, because this is what they have shown to you. You must grow to trust and bel...
Self-love is created from within, 3 ways to help you find it.
May 13, 2021 09:00 - 18 minutes - 12.4 MBWhen you come from a toxic relationship, sometimes it doesn't even have to come from a place that you've been in a toxic or abusive relationship, but it is very important that you love and respect yourself at all times. When you face hard times and hard decisions in your life, hard moments that you have to navigate through, usually the first thing that gets hit is your self-love and probably self-worth or even self-respect. All of these selves are very important because this is the rea...
27. Journey to Self-Love: Finding Inner Strength and Growth
May 13, 2021 09:00 - 18 minutes - 12.4 MBIn my latest podcast episode, I went into the transformative power of self-love in our personal growth and happiness. Having faced toxic relationships and struggled with self-worth, I intimately understand the significance of loving and respecting oneself. In this episode, I share my journey toward self-love, starting with the realization that it played a pivotal role in breaking free from a cycle of toxic relationships. Through reading books, I expanded my mind and opened myself up to gro...
27. Self-love is created from within, 3 ways to help you find it.
May 13, 2021 09:00 - 18 minutes - 12.4 MBWhen you come from a toxic relationship, sometimes it doesn't even have to come from a place that you've been in a toxic or abusive relationship, but it is very important that you love and respect yourself at all times. When you face hard times and hard decisions in your life, hard moments that you have to navigate through, usually the first thing that gets hit is your self-love and probably self-worth or even self-respect. All of these selves are very important because this is...
26. What was meant to break you, can make you even stronger
May 06, 2021 09:00 - 13 minutes - 9.25 MBWhat is it with these narcissistic abusers that gets you completely thrown off track? Not only do you get emotionally, mentally abused during your relationship but when you decide to get out of this relationship, you also keep getting screwed over. If you can't go no contact with your abuser, it's gonna be really hard afterwards, because if you have kids with this person, there is no way that you can actually co- parent because they're going to want to Contra parent, they're not look...
What was meant to break you, can make you even stronger
May 06, 2021 09:00 - 13 minutes - 9.25 MBWhat is it with these narcissistic abusers that gets you completely thrown off track? Not only do you get emotionally, mentally abused during your relationship but when you decide to get out of this relationship, you also keep getting screwed over. If you can't go no contact with your abuser, it's gonna be really hard afterwards, because if you have kids with this person, there is no way that you can actually co- parent because they're going to want to Contra parent, they're not looking for ...
26. What Was Meant to Break You Becomes Your Strength
May 06, 2021 09:00 - 13 minutes - 9.25 MBWhat is it with these narcissistic abusers that get you completely thrown off track? In aiming to offer hope and support to those currently facing toxic relationships, this episode goes into the complexities of narcissistic abusers, their manipulations, and the challenges of co-parenting when trying to break free. I recount my own experience of battling the aftermath of leaving a toxic relationship and the painful journey of seeking custody while dealing with emotional torment. The episode ...
25. Two different types of narcissistic abusers
April 29, 2021 09:00 - 18 minutes - 12.5 MBAbusers want you to rely on them and on them only. They want to keep you in a little bubble. They will start working with the fact that if you have a lot of friendships, still try and start breaking you from those friendships, little by little. They will try to pull you away from the people that are close to you, whether they're friends or their family members, coworkers, anybody that they feel is threatening to them as they abuse you . They don't want the people that can ...
25. Escaping the Grip of Abuse by Recognizing Different Tactics
April 29, 2021 09:00 - 18 minutes - 12.5 MBIn my quest to comprehend the devastating effects of narcissistic abuse, I've discovered two distinct types of abusers with the same goal: controlling and manipulating their victims. In this podcast, I share insights into these abusers' strategies, focusing on their tactics to isolate victims and foster dependency. Financial control is another tool they use to trap victims in a cycle of reliance. The abusers create an illusion of care and affection through love-bombing techniques. In some ...
Two different types of narcissistic abusers
April 29, 2021 09:00 - 18 minutes - 12.5 MBAbusers want you to rely on them and on them only. They want to keep you in a little bubble. They will start working with the fact that if you have a lot of friendships, still try and start breaking you from those friendships, little by little. They will try to pull you away from the people that are close to you, whether they're friends or their family members, coworkers, anybody that they feel is threatening to them as they abuse you . They don't want the people that can take the...
24. Finding Your Best Self After Leaving a Toxic Relationship
April 22, 2021 09:00 - 16 minutes - 11.3 MBIf you were in a toxic relationship, you're not going to move forward much until you get out of it. It's like being shackled and not being able to get free. While you are in this environment with this toxic, abusive person, even if you're trying to be a better person, you're trying to grow as a person, you will not be able to "fix" yourself until you get out of this environment. When you start to work on yourself, you start to teach yourself that you love yourself. You start to tell your...
After a toxic relationship you can become the best version of you
April 22, 2021 09:00 - 16 minutes - 11.3 MBIf you were in a toxic relationship, you're not going to move forward much until you get out of it. It's like being shackled and not being able to get free. While you are in this environment with this toxic, abusive person, even if you're trying to be a better person, you're trying to grow as a person, you will not be able to "fix" yourself until you get out of this environment. When you start to work on yourself, you start to teach yourself that you love yourself. You start to tell your...
24. After a toxic relationship you can become the best version of you
April 22, 2021 09:00 - 16 minutes - 11.3 MBIf you were in a toxic relationship, you're not going to move forward much until you get out of it. It's like being shackled and not being able to get free. While you are in this environment with this toxic, abusive person, even if you're trying to be a better person, you're trying to grow as a person, you will not be able to "fix" yourself until you get out of this environment. When you start to work on yourself, you start to teach yourself that you love yourself. You start to t...
You can leave your toxic relationship
April 15, 2021 09:00 - 16 minutes - 11.1 MBIt might not seem like it, but you can get out of your toxic relationship and there's going to come a day that you're going to look back and say, I did it. You might be thinking that you can't get out of your relationship, but the truth of the matter is that you are not the only woman that has ever been in a toxic relationship and sadly, you won't be the last, but the point is that you're capable of doing anything that someone has done before you. If many women have done it, you can too. Wha...
23. You Can Leave an Abusive Relationship: Finding the Courage
April 15, 2021 09:00 - 16 minutes - 11.1 MBIt might not seem like it, but you can get out of your toxic relationship and there's going to come a day you're going to look back and say, I did it. You might be thinking you can't get out of your relationship, but the truth is you're capable of doing anything that someone has done before you. Many women have done it, and so can you. I'm not telling you that you need to get out right now because just like you, I had to plan it. The reality is that at some point, you get completely drain...
23. You can leave your toxic relationship
April 15, 2021 09:00 - 16 minutes - 11.1 MBIt might not seem like it, but you can get out of your toxic relationship and there's going to come a day that you're going to look back and say, I did it. You might be thinking that you can't get out of your relationship, but the truth of the matter is that you are not the only woman that has ever been in a toxic relationship and sadly, you won't be the last, but the point is that you're capable of doing anything that someone has done before you. If many women have done it, you can ...
The smear campaign & his flying monkeys
April 08, 2021 09:00 - 18 minutes - 12.5 MBA smear campaign is an effort to damage or call into question someone's reputation, common targets are public officials, politicians, and ex spouses. When you leave a narcissist or a person with narcissistic tendencies, first of all, it takes forever and then when you finally get out there, you get your name dragged through the mud. I received a picture that said: " when a toxic person can no longer control you, they will try to control how others see you and misinformation will feel unfai...
22. Escaping the Smear Campaign and the Flying Monkeys
April 08, 2021 09:00 - 18 minutes - 12.5 MBA smear campaign is an effort to damage or call into question someone's reputation, common targets are public officials, politicians, and ex-spouses. When you leave a narcissist or a person with narcissistic tendencies, first of all, it takes forever, and then when you finally get out there, you get your name dragged through the mud. I received a picture that said: "When a toxic person can no longer control you, they will try to control how others see you and misinformation will feel unfai...
22. The smear campaign & his flying monkeys
April 08, 2021 09:00 - 18 minutes - 12.5 MBA smear campaign is an effort to damage or call into question someone's reputation, common targets are public officials, politicians, and ex spouses. When you leave a narcissist or a person with narcissistic tendencies, first of all, it takes forever and then when you finally get out there, you get your name dragged through the mud. I received a picture that said: " when a toxic person can no longer control you, they will try to control how others see you and misinformation will fe...
Reactive abuse: Why abusers rely on this tactic?
April 01, 2021 09:00 - 14 minutes - 10.3 MBWhat is it really? Reactive abuse is when you, as the person being abused, lash out against your abuser, your response tends to be through screaming, insulting, or even in a physical manner. When this happens, the abuser has twisted the blame on you and make you seem like you are the abuser instead of him. This is another form of manipulation to switch you from being the victim to being the abuser. Doesn't make sense? I know. This happens because of the way that you are reacting to his tox...
21. Reactive abuse: Why abusers rely on this tactic?
April 01, 2021 09:00 - 14 minutes - 10.3 MBWhat is it really? Reactive abuse is when you, as the person being abused, lash out against your abuser, your response tends to be through screaming, insulting, or even in a physical manner. When this happens, the abuser has twisted the blame on you and makes you seem like you are the abuser instead of him. This is another form of manipulation to switch you from being the victim to being the abuser. Doesn't that make sense? I know. This happens because of the way that you are reacting to h...
20. How can you tell the difference between love bombing and the honeymoon period
March 25, 2021 09:00 - 17 minutes - 12.2 MBWhen you start in a toxic relationship, you will start to get love bombed. What is that? You may ask. The start of any relationship can be very exciting, but love bombing has another strategy in place. He wants to gain your trust and affection very quickly to wrap you around in his web. Love bombing is about control, creating dependency and idealization of him. Recognizing some of the strategies might not necessarily mean that you're specifically being loved bombed, but it helps you...
How can you tell the difference between love bombing and the honeymoon period
March 25, 2021 09:00 - 17 minutes - 12.2 MBWhen you start in a toxic relationship, you will start to get love bombed. What is that? You may ask. The start of any relationship can be very exciting, but love bombing has another strategy in place. He wants to gain your trust and affection very quickly to wrap you around in his web. Love bombing is about control, creating dependency and idealization of him. Recognizing some of the strategies might not necessarily mean that you're specifically being loved bombed, but it helps you to be a...
20. Differentiating Love Bombing from the Honeymoon Period
March 25, 2021 09:00 - 17 minutes - 12.2 MBWhile love bombing and the honeymoon period share some similarities, they diverge in their underlying intentions. During the honeymoon phase, both partners are happy, excited, and discovering each other in a relationship that is flourishing. However, it's essential to assess whether you still feel like yourself and seek the perspective of your support system. Friends, family, or trusted individuals can provide valuable insights into whether you have changed significantly since the start of t...
19. Grieving: what goes on after you leave.
March 18, 2021 09:00 - 18 minutes - 12.9 MBYou are not missing him. You're going through a process of grieving and you're not just grieving for one thing you're grieving for five different things that are going on in your head and your heart. It is normal for you to think that going back to what you already know is better than going through what you're going through right now, because you feel right now after leaving, after breaking the bond, you feel like this is not for you. When you are grieving, you have to understand w...
19. Grief: The Journey After an Abusive Relationship
March 18, 2021 09:00 - 18 minutes - 12.9 MBIn this episode, I open up about the challenging experience of wanting to return to a relationship even when you know it's toxic. I share my own story and discuss the five different losses involved in this struggle, highlighting the importance of understanding them for healing. The losses include the intensity of the separation, the relationship itself, the illusion of the person you fell in love with, the life you were building together, and the person you were before the relationship. I of...
Grieving: what goes on after you leave.
March 18, 2021 09:00 - 18 minutes - 12.9 MBYou are not missing him. You're going through a process of grieving and you're not just grieving for one thing you're grieving for five different things that are going on in your head and your heart. It is normal for you to think that going back to what you already know is better than going through what you're going through right now, because you feel right now after leaving, after breaking the bond, you feel like this is not for you. When you are grieving, you have to understand what is h...
18. Escaping the Toxic Grip: Reclaim Your Life and Thrive
March 11, 2021 12:00 - 16 minutes - 11.3 MBI experienced falling into a toxic relationship, starting from the exhilarating initial attraction to the toll it took on my health and self-esteem. I discuss how toxic relationships can create insecurity and self-blame, affecting us both emotionally and physically. I fell into the vicious cycle of toxicity, where these patterns may repeat in other areas of our lives. However, the episode also emphasizes the importance of reclaiming your power and seeking help to break free from these dest...
A toxic relationship can hurt more than just your feelings
March 11, 2021 12:00 - 16 minutes - 11.3 MBWhether you are aware that it's a toxic relationship or not, it will start to take a toll on you on your health, and on your well-being. Toxic relationships don't start toxic because everything is perfect when it's starting and this is the point in time when you are both learning about each other and they take that very seriously. They're trying to figure out your buttons and how you work when they push your buttons. You might not realize that you're in a toxic relationship, to begin with...
18. A toxic relationship can hurt more than just your feelings
March 11, 2021 12:00 - 16 minutes - 11.3 MBWhether you are aware that it's a toxic relationship or not, it will start to take a toll on you on your health, and on your well-being. Toxic relationships don't start toxic because everything is perfect when it's starting and this is the point in time when you are both learning about each other and they take that very seriously. They're trying to figure out your buttons and how you work when they push your buttons. You might not realize that you're in a toxic relationship, to be...
17. Gaslighting: Unveiling the Manipulation of Reality
March 04, 2021 10:00 - 15 minutes - 10.4 MBIn this podcast episode, we discuss the topic of gaslighting - a psychological manipulation technique that distorts an individual's reality and emotions. Sharing my own experiences in a toxic relationship, I aim to shed light on this destructive behavior and provide valuable insights into identifying and addressing gaslighting in relationships. Gaslighting is not exclusive to one gender, and it can occur in various relationships, making it crucial to recognize the signs and effects. I'll a...
Gaslighting - What is it, and how to recognize it.
March 04, 2021 10:00 - 15 minutes - 10.4 MBGaslighting is to undermine another person's reality by denying facts, the environment, and or their feelings. Manipulated into turning against their cognition, their emotions, and who they fundamentally are as people. Most of us have been gaslighted at some point in our lives, But what is important is to look into our inner circle and see if there is somebody that is really close, that could be gaslighting you. This could have devastating long-time effects on your emotional, mental, and ev...
17. Gaslighting - What is it, and how to recognize it.
March 04, 2021 10:00 - 15 minutes - 10.4 MBGaslighting is to undermine another person's reality by denying facts, the environment, and or their feelings. Manipulated into turning against their cognition, their emotions, and who they fundamentally are as people. Most of us have been gaslighted at some point in our lives, But what is important is to look into our inner circle and see if there is somebody that is really close, that could be gaslighting you. This could have devastating long-time effects on your emotional, mental...
16. My Journey with a Narcissist: Understanding the Signs
February 25, 2021 10:00 - 17 minutes - 12.4 MBIn this podcast episode, I enter into the topic of narcissism, drawing from my own personal experience in a toxic relationship. Unknowingly, I had been entangled with a narcissist, and it took me some time to grasp the dynamics of such a relationship. Narcissists often appear charming on the surface, but underneath lies a deep need for admiration and an absence of empathy. They manipulate and control, making it difficult to recognize their true nature. However, I share the signs to watch o...
16. 10 Ways to understanding a narcissist
February 25, 2021 10:00 - 17 minutes - 12.4 MBI decided to talk about a narcissist today is because I used to be in this kind of relationship, and I didn't realize what a narcissist was until the day I left, and I started hearing about other people with the same kind of issues. This is more common in men. When I broke up with my toxic relationship, I wanted to understand the reasons why I was feeling so broken down, so out of love for myself, so undervalued, no sense of self-worth, and all these things that tear you down when y...
10 Ways to understanding a narcissist
February 25, 2021 10:00 - 17 minutes - 12.4 MBI decided to talk about a narcissist today is because I used to be in this kind of relationship, and I didn't realize what a narcissist was until the day I left, and I started hearing about other people with the same kind of issues. This is more common in men. When I broke up with my toxic relationship, I wanted to understand the reasons why I was feeling so broken down, so out of love for myself, so undervalued, no sense of self-worth, and all these things that tear you down when you leave...
15. Breaking Free from the People-Pleasing Trap
February 18, 2021 10:00 - 24 minutes - 17.1 MBIn this podcast episode, I dive into the topic of people-pleasing, a common struggle many of us face. I share my personal journey of breaking free from people-pleasing tendencies while maintaining kindness and compassion. We'll explore the distinction between genuine kindness and becoming a people pleaser, along with the consequences of putting others' needs above our own. I discuss the importance of recognizing our inherent self-worth and learning to say no to protect our well-being. Embr...
15. People pleasers, how to stop people pleasing and still be considered nice.
February 18, 2021 10:00 - 24 minutes - 17.1 MBPeople-pleasing sounds like you're a very nice person and you're there to help everybody that needs you and you're available for everybody. Anytime. You're always the person that others look to for help and for comfort. People pleasers tend to put themselves second to any other person that they're trying to help. They have an urge to please others. They think that they need this type of recognition from other people. I used to suffer from people pleasing syndrome, I do not anymore. ...
People pleasers, how to stop people pleasing and still be considered nice.
February 18, 2021 10:00 - 24 minutes - 17.1 MBPeople-pleasing sounds like you're a very nice person and you're there to help everybody that needs you and you're available for everybody. Anytime. You're always the person that others look to for help and for comfort. People pleasers tend to put themselves second to any other person that they're trying to help. They have an urge to please others. They think that they need this type of recognition from other people. I used to suffer from people pleasing syndrome, I do not anymore. Support ...
How other people's toxic relationships can actually affect you
February 11, 2021 10:00 - 21 minutes - 14.9 MBNot only are the worst kind of toxic relationships, the people that you tend to live with romantically, but also if you let anybody else come into your home. This is exactly what happened to me. I want to share my story because I want you to see through my eyes and I want you to learn, so these things don't happen to you. Having been in a long-term toxic relationship and a very short-term toxic relationship right after that one, I thought that I had learned everything that I needed to know...
14. Escaping Toxicity: Relationships in your circle affects you
February 11, 2021 10:00 - 21 minutes - 14.9 MBIn this podcast episode, I share a toxic relationship that had a profound impact on my life. I talk about the lessons I learned from both long-term and short-term toxic relationships, and how they affected my well-being and goals. Through the analogy of an allergy, I explore how even small doses of toxicity in relationships can have significant consequences. I narrate a specific incident where I allowed a toxic person into my home, and how it gradually affected my life until I decided to tak...
14. How other people's toxic relationships can actually affect you
February 11, 2021 10:00 - 21 minutes - 14.9 MBNot only are the worst kind of toxic relationships, the people that you tend to live with romantically, but also if you let anybody else come into your home. This is exactly what happened to me. I want to share my story because I want you to see through my eyes and I want you to learn, so these things don't happen to you. Having been in a long-term toxic relationship and a very short-term toxic relationship right after that one, I thought that I had learned everything that I needed...
13. Fitness and health-related issues
February 04, 2021 10:00 - 22 minutes - 15.2 MBI started on January 25th on my fitness journey, to lose 10 pounds in a month, actually 10 pounds in 21 days, but this is the thing ...I don't have the same resistance that I had before covid. My lungs don't let me breathe as they used to before. I know it's going to take some time. I remember the workout for Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and they were fine. When the Thursday workout came, I had to stop. It took me longer than all the other workouts and I hadn't realized that my lungs...
13. Rebuilding Health and Fitness Journey After Covid
February 04, 2021 10:00 - 22 minutes - 15.2 MBIn this podcast, I share my personal journey of overcoming the challenges posed by Covid and the impact it had on my health and fitness. After my recovery, I decided to restart my fitness journey but faced unexpected hurdles as a full-time mother, teacher, and grandmother. Despite these challenges, I remained determined to achieve my goals. I realized the importance of taking care of my body, especially after experiencing the lingering effects of the virus. My struggles taught me to apprec...
Fitness and health-related issues
February 04, 2021 10:00 - 22 minutes - 15.2 MBI started on January 25th on my fitness journey, to lose 10 pounds in a month, actually 10 pounds in 21 days, but this is the thing ...I don't have the same resistance that I had before covid. My lungs don't let me breathe as they used to before. I know it's going to take some time. I remember the workout for Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and they were fine. When the Thursday workout came, I had to stop. It took me longer than all the other workouts and I hadn't realized that my lungs have be...
The different stages of a toxic relationship
January 28, 2021 16:00 - 23 minutes - 15.9 MBToxic relationships have different levels during the relationship. There are about eight different stages and they vary in different relationships, but according to what I live through, I could find out eight different stages that I can talk to you about. 1. The first stage is that the relationship moves really fast. 2. You tend to see the light of perfection in their eyes, but sometimes it feels off. 3. As soon as you feel comfortable, you start to notice things are off. 4. You start ...
12. The different stages of a toxic relationship
January 28, 2021 16:00 - 23 minutes - 15.9 MBToxic relationships have different levels during the relationship. There are about eight different stages and they vary in different relationships, but according to what I live through, I could find out eight different stages that I can talk to you about. 1. The first stage is that the relationship moves really fast. 2. You tend to see the light of perfection in their eyes, but sometimes it feels off. 3. As soon as you feel comfortable, you start to notice things are off. 4. Yo...