Let's Just Face It
279 episodes - English - Latest episode: 7 months ago - ★★★★★ - 3 ratingsWelcome, I'm your host Rakel Colina. If you're facing challenges in your relationship, there may be hidden aspects that you haven't fully grasped yet. For years, I found myself in a toxic relationship without realizing the extent of the abuse until the day I finally walked away. Now, I'm here to assist you in identifying the abusive patterns and behaviors, but it's not solely about them. It's time to confront the issues that might be hindering your personal growth and preventing you from becoming the best version of yourself.
Ladies, together let's break down the barriers that hold you back from moving forward and embracing your best life, even in the aftermath of abuse. Remember, it's not just about seeing through their facades; it's about empowering you to overcome your own obstacles. By facing your fears, no matter how small, you can initiate significant transformations. Join me on this journey of self-discovery and liberation. Join me on this journey of self-discovery and liberation. Get ready to take charge of your life!
"Facing small fears can lead to big changes." - Rakel Colina
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Episodes
Post-Separation Abuse
July 14, 2022 21:00 - 16 minutes - 11.2 MBWe tend to believe that the abuse ends the moment we step out of the relationship or the moment they decide to end it. The truth is the abuse does not end when the relationship ends and you need to be prepared for what is to come. It is still 100% better to be out of reach physically, even when they can still try to reach out. In this episode, I talk about 6 types of post-separation abuse. These can help you be ready and also know that it is normal. You are not alone in this either, it's the...
78. The Narcissist Pregnancy Trap
June 30, 2022 16:15 - 16 minutes - 11.1 MBHave you ever heard of the narcissist pregnancy trap? Well, let me tell you all about it. A pregnancy is used to get you stuck in the relationship and ensure he's still in control. He believes that if he gets you pregnant you will not be able to leave, among other things. In this episode, I will share part of my story. Just like you, I was not aware this was a thing and I believe I could have put myself in this situation. I will also give you some reasons as to why he could be looki...
78. The Narcissist's Pregnancy Trap: My Journey
June 30, 2022 16:15 - 16 minutes - 11.1 MBHave you ever heard of the narcissist pregnancy trap? Well, let me tell you all about it. A pregnancy is used to get you stuck in the relationship and ensure he's still in control. He believes that if he gets you pregnant you will not be able to leave, among other things. In this episode, I will share part of my story. Just like you, I was not aware this was a thing and I believe I could have put myself in this situation. I will also give you some reasons as to why he could be looking to ge...
The Narcissist Pregnancy Trap
June 30, 2022 16:15 - 16 minutes - 11.1 MBHave you ever heard of the narcissist pregnancy trap? Well, let me tell you all about it. A pregnancy is used to get you stuck in the relationship and ensure he's still in control. He believes that if he gets you pregnant you will not be able to leave, among other things. In this episode, I will share part of my story. Just like you, I was not aware this was a thing and I believe I could have put myself in this situation. I will also give you some reasons as to why he could be looking to ge...
77. Overcoming Toxic Relationship Patterns: Falling for Toxic
June 23, 2022 12:30 - 15 minutes - 10.9 MBIn this episode, I talk about the puzzling phenomenon of repeatedly finding ourselves in toxic relationships. If you've ever wondered why you seem to attract the same type of people or feel like you're stuck in a never-ending cycle, you're not alone. We'll explore the three key reasons behind this pattern, shedding light on the psychological and emotional factors at play. From unconscious patterns and unresolved traumas to self-esteem and boundary issues, while unpacking the root causes. B...
77. Why I keep falling into toxic relationships...
June 23, 2022 12:30 - 15 minutes - 10.9 MBHave you ever felt that you seem to be falling into the same kind of toxic relationships? Does it seem that everyone you meet seems to have the same kind of toxic traits or seems very familiar with the previous one? At times we seem to fall into a pattern of finding the same type of people over and over and in this episode, I can tell you why. I will be talking about the three main reasons why we keep repeating the same patterns and what you can do about this. For Come to rise coac...
Why I keep falling into toxic relationships...
June 23, 2022 12:30 - 15 minutes - 10.9 MBHave you ever felt that you seem to be falling into the same kind of toxic relationships? Does it seem that everyone you meet seems to have the same kind of toxic traits or seems very familiar with the previous one? At times we seem to fall into a pattern of finding the same type of people over and over and in this episode, I can tell you why. I will be talking about the three main reasons why we keep repeating the same patterns and what you can do about this. For Come to rise coaching, cl...
76. The Media's Dangerous Narrative: Reimagining the Message on Domestic Abuse
June 16, 2022 16:00 - 13 minutes - 9.54 MBI have a message tugging in my heart for you. I believe the media is trying to tell the victims of domestic abuse that no one will be believed because ONE woman lost her case against a powerful man, as they want to portray it. The message is clear, but it's not the message the media is showing. The media is showing that a woman should be believed no matter what. The media is saying that only women can be victims and men cannot. This is the wrong message and is also a very dangerous message ...
76. The media has it all wrong!
June 16, 2022 16:00 - 13 minutes - 9.54 MBI have a message tugging in my heart for you. I believe the media is trying to tell the victims of domestic abuse that no one will be believed because ONE woman lost her case against a powerful man, as they want to portray it. The message is clear, but it's not the message the media is showing. The media is showing that a woman should be believed no matter what. The media is saying that only women can be victims and men cannot. This is the wrong message and is also a very dangerous ...
The media has it all wrong!
June 16, 2022 16:00 - 13 minutes - 9.54 MBI have a message tugging in my heart for you. I believe the media is trying to tell the victims of domestic abuse that no one will be believed because ONE woman lost her case against a powerful man, as they want to portray it. The message is clear, but it's not the message the media is showing. The media is showing that a woman should be believed no matter what. The media is saying that only women can be victims and men cannot. This is the wrong message and is also a very dangerous message ...
75. Why Does it Seem We Are All Team Johnny?
May 27, 2022 04:00 - 15 minutes - 10.5 MBIt seems everywhere I go, we are all Team Johnny. In this episode, I go into detail as to why I believe that is. This trial has been more than a trial about one of our favorite all-time starts being put on the stand. This trial has been about how a man came forward to talk about abuse. It has given many a new view of what abuse/ domestic violence is. Abuse has no gender, and that has to be the message. #MENTOO For information about 1:1 coaching, go here Here's all the ways we can connect: ...
Why does it seem we are all Team Johnny?
May 27, 2022 04:00 - 15 minutes - 10.5 MBIt seems everywhere I go, we are all Team Johnny. In this episode, I go into detail as to why I believe that is. This trial has been more than a trial about one of our favorite all-time starts being put on the stand. This trial has been about how a man came forward to talk about abuse. It has given many a new view on what abuse/ domestic violence is. Abuse has no gender, and that has to be the message. #MENTOO For information about 1:1 coaching, go here Support the show
75. Why does it seem we are all Team Johnny?
May 27, 2022 04:00 - 15 minutes - 10.5 MBIt seems everywhere I go, we are all Team Johnny. In this episode, I go into detail as to why I believe that is. This trial has been more than a trial about one of our favorite all-time starts being put on the stand. This trial has been about how a man came forward to talk about abuse. It has given many a new view on what abuse/ domestic violence is. Abuse has no gender, and that has to be the message. #MENTOO For information about 1:1 coaching, go here Support the show
Amber's lies and the smear campaign
May 12, 2022 09:00 - 16 minutes - 11 MBToday's episode is more on the Johnny vs Amber story, but today I will talk about the smear campaign she has created and what we see in the court, on the internet, and in research. I'm going to be digging a little deeper into what a smear campaign consists of and what it looks like. We are being bombarded with a smear campaign right before our eyes and it seems like the perfect teaching moment. **Stay until the end for a recording between Amber & Johnny that proves how she planned the smea...
74. Amber's lies and the smear campaign
May 12, 2022 09:00 - 16 minutes - 11 MBToday's episode is more on the Johnny vs Amber story, but today I will talk about the smear campaign she has created and what we see in the court, on the internet, and in research. I'm going to be digging a little deeper into what a smear campaign consists of and what it looks like. We are being bombarded with a smear campaign right before our eyes and it seems like the perfect teaching moment. **Stay until the end for a recording between Amber & Johnny that proves how she planned ...
74. The Smear Campaign Against Johnny Depp: Amber's Allegations
May 12, 2022 09:00 - 16 minutes - 11 MBToday's episode is more on the Johnny vs Amber story, but today I will talk about the smear campaign she has created and what we see in the court, on the internet, and in research. I'm going to be digging a little deeper into what a smear campaign consists of and what it looks like. We are being bombarded with a smear campaign right before our eyes and it seems like the perfect teaching moment. **Stay until the end for a recording between Amber & Johnny that proves how she planned the smea...
73. The Johnny Depp Defamation Trial: A Survivor's Perspective
May 05, 2022 09:00 - 23 minutes - 15.9 MBIn today's episode, I talk about what's going on in the court with Johnny Depp. I am not talking about his defamation trial, but going over what has been brought up during the past couple of weeks. As you might already know, his ex-wife wrote a piece about the abuse she endured during her relationship with him. During the past few weeks in court, there has been a lot of evidence submitted to prove that he was in fact the victim of domestic violence by her. I go over a few audios used durin...
73. Johnny Depp and domestic violence
May 05, 2022 09:00 - 23 minutes - 15.9 MBIn today's episode, I talk about what's going on in the court with Johnny Depp. I am not talking about his defamation trial, but going over what has been brought up during the past couple of weeks. As you might already know, his ex-wife wrote a piece about the abuse she endured during her relationship with him. During the past few weeks in court, there has been a lot of evidence submitted to prove that he was in fact the victim of domestic violence by her. I go over a few audios us...
Johnny Depp and domestic violence
May 05, 2022 09:00 - 23 minutes - 15.9 MBIn today's episode, I talk about what's going on in the court with Johnny Depp. I am not talking about his defamation trial, but going over what has been brought up during the past couple of weeks. As you might already know, his ex-wife wrote a piece about the abuse she endured during her relationship with him. During the past few weeks in court, there has been a lot of evidence submitted to prove that he was in fact the victim of domestic violence by her. I go over a few audios used durin...
You could not have seen it coming
April 21, 2022 21:00 - 15 minutes - 10.8 MBWhen you leave an abusive, toxic narcissistic relationship, you tell yourself "I wish you would have seen it." "I wish you would have seen the red flags." "I wish I would have noticed what was going on in my relationship." I was so stupid that I couldn't see who he was or what he was doing to me, but let me tell you something, it's very simple... There's no way the unhealed version of you could have known who this person was. If you need more of an understanding of what you have been throu...
72. Unforeseen Shadows: When You Could Not Have Seen It Coming
April 21, 2022 21:00 - 15 minutes - 10.8 MBIn this episode, we explore the aftermath of leaving an abusive, toxic, and narcissistic relationship. I reflect on my own journey, grappling with feelings of self-blame and regret for not recognizing the red flags earlier. Through candid storytelling, I emphasize the importance of self-compassion, highlighting that it's not about being "stupid" but rather acknowledging the impact of unhealed wounds on one's ability to see the truth. The episode goes into the complexity of such relationshi...
72. You could not have seen it coming
April 21, 2022 21:00 - 15 minutes - 10.8 MBWhen you leave an abusive, toxic narcissistic relationship, you tell yourself "I wish you would have seen it." "I wish you would have seen the red flags." "I wish I would have noticed what was going on in my relationship." I was so stupid that I couldn't see who he was or what he was doing to me, but let me tell you something, it's very simple... There's no way the unhealed version of you could have known who this person was. If you need more of an understanding of what you have be...
71. Creating an exit strategy
April 14, 2022 20:00 - 18 minutes - 12.8 MBOur homes are supposed to be where we feel safest but for some of us, that's not the case. It can be very daunting to love a person that doesn't make you feel you are safe when they are in your surroundings. I know exactly how this feels but leaving is not always the best option, at the time. Most of the time you have to make the moves while your partner is unaware. This exit strategy plan has been created with the basic needs to move out slowly while making sure it's done safely an...
71. Crafting an Exit Strategy from Narcissistic Abuse
April 14, 2022 20:00 - 18 minutes - 12.8 MBOur homes are supposed to be where we feel safest but for some of us, that's not the case. It can be very daunting to love a person that doesn't make you feel you are safe when they are in your surroundings. I know exactly how this feels but leaving is not always the best option, at the time. Most of the time you have to make the moves while your partner is unaware. This exit strategy plan has been created with the basic needs to move out slowly while making sure it's done safely and you do...
Creating an exit strategy
April 14, 2022 20:00 - 18 minutes - 12.8 MBOur homes are supposed to be where we feel safest but for some of us, that's not the case. It can be very daunting to love a person that doesn't make you feel you are safe when they are in your surroundings. I know exactly how this feels but leaving is not always the best option, at the time. Most of the time you have to make the moves while your partner is unaware. This exit strategy plan has been created with the basic needs to move out slowly while making sure it's done safely and you do...
You don't need closure
April 07, 2022 16:00 - 18 minutes - 12.4 MBYou don't need closure. The closure will put you in harm's way, but will never get you what you need. You're not dealing with a person that has a personality disorder and will not function as you. When you seek closure you are searching for reason and explanations that this person cannot give you, but you are putting yourself in a place to be pulled into another cycle of abuse. You know how hard it was to leave, don't put yourself in that position again. What you need is to understand what ...
70. Healing from a Narcissist: Why Closure Isn't Your Answer
April 07, 2022 16:00 - 18 minutes - 12.4 MBYou don't need closure. The closure will put you in harm's way, but will never get you what you need. You're not dealing with a person that has a personality disorder and will not function as you. When you seek closure you are searching for reason and explanations that this person cannot give you, but you are putting yourself in a place to be pulled into another cycle of abuse. You know how hard it was to leave, don't put yourself in that position again. What you need is to understand what ...
70. You don't need closure
April 07, 2022 16:00 - 18 minutes - 12.4 MBYou don't need closure. The closure will put you in harm's way, but will never get you what you need. You're not dealing with a person that has a personality disorder and will not function as you. When you seek closure you are searching for reason and explanations that this person cannot give you, but you are putting yourself in a place to be pulled into another cycle of abuse. You know how hard it was to leave, don't put yourself in that position again. What you need is to understa...
Mental health & abusive relationships
March 31, 2022 12:00 - 22 minutes - 15.5 MBI used to think that mental health referred to as having mental issues. It referred to people that suffered from things like schizophrenia, PTSD, hallucinations, or any personality disorders. Maybe because of the way I was brought up, I never thought of mental health as something that we all have to take care of and something that is normal to think about. I never thought of anything like this until my mental health started to decline, at least the moment that I started to notice. Being in ...
69. Prioritizing Mental Health: Healing from Abusive Relationship
March 31, 2022 12:00 - 22 minutes - 15.5 MBI used to think that mental health is referred to as having mental issues. It referred to people that suffered from things like schizophrenia, PTSD, hallucinations, or any personality disorders. Maybe because of the way I was brought up, I never thought of mental health as something that we all have to take care of and something that is normal to think about. I never thought of anything like this until my mental health started to decline, at least the moment I started to notice. Being in a ...
69. Mental health & abusive relationships
March 31, 2022 12:00 - 22 minutes - 15.5 MBI used to think that mental health referred to as having mental issues. It referred to people that suffered from things like schizophrenia, PTSD, hallucinations, or any personality disorders. Maybe because of the way I was brought up, I never thought of mental health as something that we all have to take care of and something that is normal to think about. I never thought of anything like this until my mental health started to decline, at least the moment that I started to notice. B...
68. Escaping Toxicity: I Never Thought I'd Be Free
March 24, 2022 16:00 - 16 minutes - 11.3 MBLast Friday was March 18th and for the first time in many years, it came to mind that it was the day I left my toxic relationship. Mentally and emotionally I had left months ago, but physically I was still there. I was not taking any of his love-bombing, nor trying to connect in any way, but I was still there. Women leave a relationship a long time before they actually walk away and even though it takes a lot to walk out. When we are set and done, there's no changing our mind no matter how ...
I never thought I'd be free from my abuser
March 24, 2022 16:00 - 16 minutes - 11.3 MBLast Friday was March 18th and for the first time in many years, it came to mind that it was the day I left my toxic relationship. Mentally and emotionally I had left months ago, but physically I was still there. I was not taking any of his love-bombing, nor trying to connect in any way, but I was still there. Women leave a relationship a long time before they actually walk away and even though it takes a lot to walk out. When we are set and done, there's no changing our mind no matter how ...
68. I never thought I'd be free from my abuser
March 24, 2022 16:00 - 16 minutes - 11.3 MBLast Friday was March 18th and for the first time in many years, it came to mind that it was the day I left my toxic relationship. Mentally and emotionally I had left months ago, but physically I was still there. I was not taking any of his love-bombing, nor trying to connect in any way, but I was still there. Women leave a relationship a long time before they actually walk away and even though it takes a lot to walk out. When we are set and done, there's no changing our mind no mat...
67. I am staying for the kids
March 17, 2022 20:55 - 19 minutes - 13.3 MBI am staying for the kids. A lot of times we make the wrong decision, stay in a relationship because of our kids. Because we believe that it is better for them to have two parents together. Then just be pushed around from one parent to another parent. The thing is that that is not always the case. Sometimes we stay for the kids. Because we have no idea of what else to say or what else to do. Some people actually think that because they say they're staying for the kids that are makin...
I am staying for the kids
March 17, 2022 20:55 - 19 minutes - 13.3 MBI am staying for the kids. A lot of times we make the wrong decision, stay in a relationship because of our kids. Because we believe that it is better for them to have two parents together. Then just be pushed around from one parent to another parent. The thing is that that is not always the case. Sometimes we stay for the kids. Because we have no idea of what else to say or what else to do. Some people actually think that because they say they're staying for the kids that are making a good...
67. Staying for the Kids: Perspective of Unhealthy Relationships
March 17, 2022 20:55 - 19 minutes - 13.3 MBI am staying for the kids. A lot of times we make the wrong decision, stay in a relationship because of our kids. Because we believe that it is better for them to have two parents together. Then just be pushed around from one parent to another parent. The thing is that that is not always the case. Sometimes we stay for the kids. Because we have no idea what else to say or what else to do. Some people actually think that because they say they're staying for the kids they are making a good de...
66. Hoovering and why narcissists use this
March 10, 2022 19:00 - 17 minutes - 12.4 MBHoovering is also known as emotional blackmail as part of the emotional abuse provoked by a narcissist, it happens when they think they're losing control of you. It's an attempt to reactivate the connection to make you engage with them once again for another cycle of abuse. The name hoovering comes from Hoover, the vacuum cleaner brand. Meaning the narcissists sucks the happiness out of you to fuel their supply. It may look like you're being manipulated through a relationship you di...
66. Hoovering: Manipulation Tactics and How to Protect Yourself
March 10, 2022 19:00 - 17 minutes - 12.4 MBHoovering is also known as emotional blackmail as part of the emotional abuse provoked by a narcissist, it happens when they think they're losing control of you. It's an attempt to reactivate the connection to make you engage with them once again for another cycle of abuse. The name Hoovering comes from Hoover, the vacuum cleaner brand. Meaning the narcissists sucks the happiness out of you to fuel their supply. It may look like you're being manipulated through a relationship you didn't wan...
Hoovering and why narcissists use this
March 10, 2022 19:00 - 17 minutes - 12.4 MBHoovering is also known as emotional blackmail as part of the emotional abuse provoked by a narcissist, it happens when they think they're losing control of you. It's an attempt to reactivate the connection to make you engage with them once again for another cycle of abuse. The name hoovering comes from Hoover, the vacuum cleaner brand. Meaning the narcissists sucks the happiness out of you to fuel their supply. It may look like you're being manipulated through a relationship you didn't wan...
65. Stop Demonizing the Narcissist!
March 03, 2022 05:00 - 14 minutes - 10.1 MBI had somebody comment on my Instagram page that said to stop demonizing the narcissist, to stop talking bad about them. Well, The only thing that I can believe is that this was another narcissist on the other end and he or she felt that they were attacked and they didn't like it. I said, if this is not something you believe in, you can just scroll away, because this is the thing; there's a lot of trolls out there and they just want to look for fights with just about anybody. We all have so...
65. Stop demonizing the narcissist
March 03, 2022 05:00 - 14 minutes - 10.1 MBI had somebody comment on my Instagram page that said to stop demonizing the narcissist, to stop talking bad about them. Well, The only thing that I can believe is that this was another narcissist on the other end and he or she felt that they were attacked and they didn't like it. I said, if this is not something you believe in, you can just scroll away, because this is the thing; there's a lot of trolls out there and they just want to look for fights with just about anybody. We all...
Stop demonizing the narcissist
March 03, 2022 05:00 - 14 minutes - 10.1 MBI had somebody comment on my Instagram page that said to stop demonizing the narcissist, to stop talking bad about them. Well, The only thing that I can believe is that this was another narcissist on the other end and he or she felt that they were attacked and they didn't like it. I said, if this is not something you believe in, you can just scroll away, because this is the thing; there's a lot of trolls out there and they just want to look for fights with just about anybody. We all have so...
64. Fast cars & the narcissist
February 23, 2022 05:05 - 15 minutes - 10.5 MBThe reason why I decided to talk about this today is that I had a memory triggered. I heard someone on TikTok talk about the same topic and all of a sudden I had a rush of memories and I needed to bring this out to you. I never realized how an abuser could use a fast car as part of the abuse patterns. I don't think I even noticed it until it happened to me in a manner that was more open and clearer in my mind. Due to the nature of abuse, we forget details of the abuse we endured. T...
Fast cars & the narcissist
February 23, 2022 05:05 - 15 minutes - 10.5 MBThe reason why I decided to talk about this today is that I had a memory triggered. I heard someone on TikTok talk about the same topic and all of a sudden I had a rush of memories and I needed to bring this out to you. I never realized how an abuser could use a fast car as part of the abuse patterns. I don't think I even noticed it until it happened to me in a manner that was more open and clearer in my mind. Due to the nature of abuse, we forget details of the abuse we endured. The first...
64. Fast Cars and Narcissists: Unveiling Control and Abuse
February 23, 2022 05:05 - 15 minutes - 10.5 MBThe reason why I decided to talk about this today is that I had a memory triggered. I heard someone on TikTok talk about the same topic and all of a sudden I had a rush of memories and I needed to bring this out to you. I never realized how an abuser could use a fast car as part of the abuse patterns. I don't think I even noticed it until it happened to me in a manner that was more open and clearer in my mind. Due to the nature of abuse, we forget details of the abuse we endured. The first...
63. Trust Your Intuition: Listening to Your Inner Voice
February 17, 2022 10:00 - 15 minutes - 10.6 MBOur intuition is also referred to as our gut feeling. It's our body trying to tell us, without our own awareness, the mental process of this information. This is something that we all have inside of us and we have to learn to listen to it because it was built in us for a reason. Our intuition is here to guide us to better paths, but because it doesn't fit what we want or what we see, we tend to ignore it. What we have to learn is that ignoring the signals our body is giving, always comes and...
63. Your intuition and why you should never ignore it
February 17, 2022 10:00 - 15 minutes - 10.6 MBOur intuition is also referred to as our gut feeling. It's our body trying to tell us, without our own awareness, the mental process of this information. This is something that we all have inside of us and we have to learn to listen to it because it was built in us for a reason. Our intuition is here is to guide us to better paths, but because it doesn't fit what we want or what we see, we tend to ignore it. What we have to learn is that ignoring the signals our body is giving, alway...
Your intuition and why you should never ignore it
February 17, 2022 10:00 - 15 minutes - 10.6 MBOur intuition is also referred to as our gut feeling. It's our body trying to tell us, without our own awareness, the mental process of this information. This is something that we all have inside of us and we have to learn to listen to it because it was built in us for a reason. Our intuition is here is to guide us to better paths, but because it doesn't fit what we want or what we see, we tend to ignore it. What we have to learn is that ignoring the signals our body is giving, always comes ...
62 - This is the year I took my narcissistic ex on vacation with me
February 10, 2022 13:05 - 15 minutes - 10.6 MBIn this episode, I talk about the last vacation I took and how I unknowingly took my narcissistic ex along with us. My ex seems to still want to know where I am and with whom. Since I started spending time with someone else, he decided he needed to keep tabs on me. The funny thing is how he did it. He'll go through anyone just to get what they want and don't care who he drags along for the process. He tried to be slick and the funny thing is that I always catch him. I no longer inte...