Let's Just Face It
279 episodes - English - Latest episode: 7 months ago - ★★★★★ - 3 ratingsWelcome, I'm your host Rakel Colina. If you're facing challenges in your relationship, there may be hidden aspects that you haven't fully grasped yet. For years, I found myself in a toxic relationship without realizing the extent of the abuse until the day I finally walked away. Now, I'm here to assist you in identifying the abusive patterns and behaviors, but it's not solely about them. It's time to confront the issues that might be hindering your personal growth and preventing you from becoming the best version of yourself.
Ladies, together let's break down the barriers that hold you back from moving forward and embracing your best life, even in the aftermath of abuse. Remember, it's not just about seeing through their facades; it's about empowering you to overcome your own obstacles. By facing your fears, no matter how small, you can initiate significant transformations. Join me on this journey of self-discovery and liberation. Join me on this journey of self-discovery and liberation. Get ready to take charge of your life!
"Facing small fears can lead to big changes." - Rakel Colina
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Episodes
45. Co-Parenting with a Narcissist and the Child's Perspective
October 07, 2021 21:00 - 13 minutes - 9.16 MBThe day we had officially moved out and we were sitting up in our new home, I told my son that I was sorry that Daddy was no longer going to be living with us. His answer truly surprised me. He said that it was all better now because it was going to be no more screaming in the house and he knew his daddy was mean. While I was struggling to leave him without his father figure by leaving, I thought I was hurting him, but even though he was at a very young age, he had seen, and he knew. He knew...
45. Co-parenting with a Narcissist
October 07, 2021 21:00 - 13 minutes - 9.16 MBThe day we had officially moved out and we were sitting up in our new home, I told my son that I was sorry that daddy was no longer going to be living with us. His answer truly surprised me. He said that it was all better now because it was going to be no more screaming in the house and he knew his daddy was mean. While I was struggling to leave him without his father figure by leaving, I thought I was hurting him, but even though he was at a very young age, he had seen, and he knew....
Co-parenting with a Narcissist
October 07, 2021 21:00 - 13 minutes - 9.16 MBThe day we had officially moved out and we were sitting up in our new home, I told my son that I was sorry that daddy was no longer going to be living with us. His answer truly surprised me. He said that it was all better now because it was going to be no more screaming in the house and he knew his daddy was mean. While I was struggling to leave him without his father figure by leaving, I thought I was hurting him, but even though he was at a very young age, he had seen, and he knew. He knew...
44. Stop being your own worst enemy
September 10, 2021 01:00 - 16 minutes - 11.6 MBAs women, we tend to be our own worst enemy. I know that this goes a very long way. It goes far and it goes wide, and it happens to the best of us. It doesn't matter if you have a weight issue, it doesn't matter if it's what you see in the mirror. It doesn't matter if it's about your career, or it said about being a mom. We tend to be our own worst critics and being in a toxic relationship can multiply that. In a toxic relationship with a person that will constantly put you down, ma...
Stop being your own worst enemy
September 10, 2021 01:00 - 16 minutes - 11.6 MBAs women, we tend to be our own worst enemy. I know that this goes a very long way. It goes far and it goes wide, and it happens to the best of us. It doesn't matter if you have a weight issue, it doesn't matter if it's what you see in the mirror. It doesn't matter if it's about your career, or it said about being a mom. We tend to be our own worst critics and being in a toxic relationship can multiply that. In a toxic relationship with a person that will constantly put you down, makes it e...
44. Stop Being Your Own Worst Enemy
September 10, 2021 01:00 - 16 minutes - 11.6 MBAs women, we tend to be our own worst enemy. I know that this goes a very long way. It goes far and it goes wide, and it happens to the best of us. It doesn't matter if you have a weight issue, it doesn't matter if it's what you see in the mirror. It doesn't matter if it's about your career, or it said about being a mom. We tend to be our own worst critics and being in a toxic relationship can multiply that. A toxic relationship with a person that will constantly put you down, makes it even...
43. Beware who you listen to, you could put yourself in danger
September 02, 2021 09:00 - 13 minutes - 9.08 MBWhen you're in a toxic, abusive relationship, the most important thing that you have to know and learn is that you are in one. Because when you don't know that you're in a toxic, abusive relationship, you think that there's just a problem with your relationship and what you're trying to do over and over and over again is trying to fix your relationship just because you think your relationship is not easy. A couple of creators found out and realized that there was this lady, she was ...
Beware who you listen to, you could put yourself in danger
September 02, 2021 09:00 - 13 minutes - 9.08 MBWhen you're in a toxic, abusive relationship, the most important thing that you have to know and learn is that you are in one. Because when you don't know that you're in a toxic, abusive relationship, you think that there's just a problem with your relationship and what you're trying to do over and over and over again is trying to fix your relationship just because you think your relationship is not easy. A couple of creators found out and realized that there was this lady, she was talking ...
43. Navigating Toxic Relationships: Seeking Authentic Help
September 02, 2021 09:00 - 13 minutes - 9.08 MBWhen you're in a toxic, abusive relationship, the most important thing that you have to know and learn is that you are in one. Because when you don't know that you're in a toxic, abusive relationship, you think that there's just a problem with your relationship and what you're trying to do over and over and over again is trying to fix your relationship just because you think your relationship is not easy. A couple of creators found out and realized that there was this lady, she was talking ...
42. It's Not Your Fault, You Can't Fix Toxic!
August 26, 2021 18:00 - 16 minutes - 11.7 MBIn this podcast episode, we talk about leaving a toxic relationship, emphasizing the importance of recognizing toxic patterns and prioritizing self-love. Toxic relationships often follow a deceptive pattern, starting with minor issues that escalate over time. The illusion of perfection leads us to believe we can fix the problems, but the truth is, the issue lies with the toxic partner, not us. I share my own story of healing and the challenges I faced in breaking free from a toxic cycle. U...
42. It's not your fault! You can't fix Toxic
August 26, 2021 18:00 - 16 minutes - 11.7 MBThe problem with toxic relationships is that because we already know that relationships are not a hundred percent perfect. That makes us think at the beginning that we just hit a bump in the road. And because you just hit a bump in the road, you think that this is something that you can fix and you start working towards your relationship in a different way. You start looking for different ways to work through your relationship. You start to look for the things that he does that you ...
It's not your fault! You can't fix Toxic
August 26, 2021 18:00 - 16 minutes - 11.7 MBThe problem with toxic relationships is that because we already know that relationships are not a hundred percent perfect. That makes us think at the beginning that we just hit a bump in the road. And because you just hit a bump in the road, you think that this is something that you can fix and you start working towards your relationship in a different way. You start looking for different ways to work through your relationship. You start to look for the things that he does that you don't li...
Why do narcissist always ruin the holidays? (Birthday edition)
August 19, 2021 16:00 - 19 minutes - 13.8 MBIf you're in a relationship with a narcissist or a person that has narcissistic tendencies, you know exactly what I'm talking about. Narcissists are always used to having the attention and therefore they feel entitled to it. When the holidays come crawling in, he feels, for example, like Santa or the Easter bunny, Jesus, or even his own kids should not be taking center stage. They should not be taking the importance or the spotlight off of him. Why is he like this? First of all, you alrea...
41. Why do narcissist always ruin the holidays? (Birthday edition)
August 19, 2021 16:00 - 19 minutes - 13.8 MBIf you're in a relationship with a narcissist or a person that has narcissistic tendencies, you know exactly what I'm talking about. Narcissists are always used to having the attention and therefore they feel entitled to it. When the holidays come crawling in, he feels, for example, like Santa or the Easter bunny, Jesus, or even his own kids should not be taking center stage. They should not be taking the importance or the spotlight off of him. Why is he like this? First of all, y...
41. Why The Narcissist Ruin The Holidays?: Birthday Edition
August 19, 2021 16:00 - 19 minutes - 13.8 MBIn this episode, we look into the challenging dynamics of being in a relationship with a narcissist or someone with narcissistic tendencies. If you've ever experienced this, you'll immediately relate to what we discuss. Narcissists always crave attention and feel entitled to it, making the holiday season a particularly difficult time. Picture this: while you cherish seeing your loved ones, especially your kids, happy during the holidays, a narcissist doesn't share that same joy. Instead, th...
How the narcissist treats the new supply
August 12, 2021 09:00 - 12 minutes - 8.9 MBThe reason a narcissist will give the new supply, everything you wanted or something that he had offered to you at some point, but never came to be. It is because they want to make you jealous. They want to make you feel like you were undesirable. And this is a very common behavior. This is done to devalue you and make you feel unworthy. If he gives the new supply, what he didn't give you, this will make you feel like you didn't deserve it. But the new supply is a better person for it, a be...
40. How the narcissist treats the new supply
August 12, 2021 09:00 - 12 minutes - 8.9 MBThe reason a narcissist will give the new supply, everything you wanted or something that he had offered to you at some point, but never came to be. It is because they want to make you jealous. They want to make you feel like you were undesirable. And this is a very common behavior. This is done to devalue you and make you feel unworthy. If he gives the new supply, what he didn't give you, this will make you feel like you didn't deserve it. But the new supply is a better person for ...
40. Why What He Gives the New Supply Doesn't Matter
August 12, 2021 09:00 - 12 minutes - 8.9 MBIn this episode, we uncover the cunning motives behind why narcissists shower their new supply with everything they once promised but never fulfilled with you. It's not a mere coincidence; it's a deliberate tactic to evoke jealousy and make you question your desirability. This pattern is all too common in narcissistic behavior, aimed at devaluing and undermining your self-worth. By giving the new supply what they denied you, they aim to plant seeds of inadequacy in your mind, making you fe...
39. Embracing Your Voice: Breaking the Silence
August 05, 2021 13:00 - 13 minutes - 9.09 MBIn this compelling episode, we're discussing the power of sharing your message. No matter what kind of abusive or toxic relationship you've experienced, it's crucial to break free and speak out. Abuse, whether subtle or severe, is never an expression of love. Trauma bonding and confusion often trap us in a cycle of hope and disappointment, waiting for someone who will never change. But here's the truth: Your voice deserves to be heard, no matter the relationship you've been through. Don't l...
39. Share your story, your voice needs to be heard
August 05, 2021 13:00 - 13 minutes - 9.09 MB. I want to talk to you today about sharing your message. Don't let anybody keep you from sharing your message. it doesn't matter what type of abusive or toxic relationship you're into or were into. You need to share your message. It doesn't matter if the abuse wasn't that much or it was a lot, it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter if you were in a relationship for two weeks or we were in a relationship for 10 years, abuse is abuse and abuse is not love. The reason that we stay in t...
Share your story, your voice needs to be heard
August 05, 2021 13:00 - 13 minutes - 9.09 MB. I want to talk to you today about sharing your message. Don't let anybody keep you from sharing your message. it doesn't matter what type of abusive or toxic relationship you're into or were into. You need to share your message. It doesn't matter if the abuse wasn't that much or it was a lot, it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter if you were in a relationship for two weeks or we were in a relationship for 10 years, abuse is abuse and abuse is not love. The reason that we stay in these rel...
38. Emotional abuse can cause brain damage
July 29, 2021 09:00 - 14 minutes - 9.71 MBNow, what kind of damage can an abusive relationship cause?? Narcissistic abuse acts like traumatic stress, and this can lead to PTSD. PTSD is the way the memory retains the vividness in a persistent way of something that happened. Just like soldiers in war victims of emotional abuse often end up having brains that are hypervigilant and they're always scanning for patterns of similar emotions left from that moment of abuse and this is a way for the brain to guarantee its survival. Th...
38. Emotional Abuse Can Cause Brain Damage
July 29, 2021 09:00 - 14 minutes - 9.71 MBDiscover the shocking impact of abusive relationships in this episode! Narcissistic abuse can leave lasting traumatic stress, even leading to PTSD. Join us as we explore how emotional abuse affects the brain, causing hypervigilance and persistent negative thoughts. Learn how the brain is affected by abusive behaviors. Find out the surprising effects of cortisol, the stress hormone released during abuse, on the brain's hippocampus. Discover how the prefrontal cortex, responsible for memory ...
Emotional abuse can cause brain damage
July 29, 2021 09:00 - 14 minutes - 9.71 MBNow, what kind of damage can an abusive relationship cause?? Narcissistic abuse acts like traumatic stress, and this can lead to PTSD. PTSD is the way the memory retains the vividness in a persistent way of something that happened. Just like soldiers in war victims of emotional abuse often end up having brains that are hypervigilant and they're always scanning for patterns of similar emotions left from that moment of abuse and this is a way for the brain to guarantee its survival. The proble...
37. "Why am I so stupid?" Stop saying this today
July 22, 2021 09:00 - 16 minutes - 11.2 MBWhen you leave a toxic, abusive relationship, the first thing that you say, the first thing that comes out of your mouth is why am I so stupid? And it hurts when you say these words because you feel that you were stupid. You feel like you were lied to and you fell for it, but let me tell you, it is not your fault. You were not stupid. You failed to realize certain characteristics and traits in somebody else because they were familiar to you. You are being a person that is empathic, ...
37. "Why am I So Stupid?": Overcoming Negative Self-Talk
July 22, 2021 09:00 - 16 minutes - 11.2 MBIn this gripping episode, we explore the emotional aftermath of leaving a toxic, abusive relationship and why we play the guilt and shame card by thinking: "Why am I so stupid?" Unraveling the layers of pain and self-doubt, they recount the hurtful realization of feeling deceived and falling victim to someone's manipulation. But there's an important revelation awaiting you - it's not your fault! I will share how empathy and wholehearted love can sometimes blind us to certain traits in oth...
"Why am I so stupid?" Stop saying this today
July 22, 2021 09:00 - 16 minutes - 11.2 MBWhen you leave a toxic, abusive relationship, the first thing that you say, the first thing that comes out of your mouth is why am I so stupid? And it hurts when you say these words because you feel that you were stupid. You feel like you were lied to and you fell for it, but let me tell you, it is not your fault. You were not stupid. You failed to realize certain characteristics and traits in somebody else because they were familiar to you. You are being a person that is empathic, A person...
36. Sexual Intimacy and Why You're Not Into It
July 15, 2021 09:00 - 15 minutes - 10.3 MBIn this intriguing episode, we explore the complexities of abusive and toxic relationships, where intimacy becomes a major point of contention. We dive into a common pattern where men express dissatisfaction with the lack of intimacy, while women struggle to understand why they lose interest in being sexually intimate. The show sheds light on how abusive dynamics affect the way we perceive and experience love and intimacy. Join me as I discuss the profound impact of abusive relationships on...
36. Sexual intimacy and why you're not into it
July 15, 2021 09:00 - 15 minutes - 10.3 MBWhen you're in an abusive, toxic narcissistic, any kind of abusive relationship, a topic that is very common amongst all of these relationships is men complain that they're not getting enough intimacy and the women complain that they have no idea why they have suddenly lost all interest in having a sexually intimate relationship. You have no idea why you don't want to have intimacy with your partner. Intimacy is no longer necessary for you. Because when you have a regular relations...
Sexual intimacy and why you're not into it
July 15, 2021 09:00 - 15 minutes - 10.3 MBWhen you're in an abusive, toxic narcissistic, any kind of abusive relationship, a topic that is very common amongst all of these relationships is men complain that they're not getting enough intimacy and the women complain that they have no idea why they have suddenly lost all interest in having a sexually intimate relationship. You have no idea why you don't want to have intimacy with your partner. Intimacy is no longer necessary for you. Because when you have a regular relationship, you...
35. Would you recognize if your relationship was toxic?
July 08, 2021 09:00 - 16 minutes - 11.1 MBWe believe that because nobody else is perfect, that we are in a relationship that isn't perfect as well. The problem with not recognizing that the relationship is toxic is that you will let things happen that tend to move towards the side of abuse. Toxic people are just that, they are toxic for you. The definition of toxic, according to the dictionary is poisonous. The other meaning is very harmful or unpleasant in a very pervasive or insidious way. The example is, a toxic relatio...
35. Would You Recognize the Signs of a Toxic Relationship?
July 08, 2021 09:00 - 16 minutes - 11.1 MBIn this episode, we challenge the notion that imperfections are a natural part of any relationship. Join me to shed light on the hidden dangers of toxic relationships and the crucial importance of recognizing their toxicity. Toxic people can have a devastating impact on our lives, akin to a poison that slowly seeps into our well-being. We delve deep into the true meaning of toxicity, exploring its insidious and pervasive nature. Drawing upon real-life examples, we uncover the signs and sym...
Would you recognize if your relationship was toxic?
July 08, 2021 09:00 - 16 minutes - 11.1 MBWe believe that because nobody else is perfect, that we are in a relationship that isn't perfect as well. The problem with not recognizing that the relationship is toxic is that you will let things happen that tend to move towards the side of abuse. Toxic people are just that, they are toxic for you. The definition of toxic, according to the dictionary is poisonous. The other meaning is very harmful or unpleasant in a very pervasive or insidious way. The example is, a toxic relationship. N...
34. The man you fell in love with...never existed
July 01, 2021 13:00 - 13 minutes - 9.07 MBWhen you start in a toxic relationship, when you start to meet this person that will lead you down the road of a toxic, abusive, or narcissistic relationship, they start creating a person for you to fall in love with. They create a persona for your imagination purposes only and when they have you, they'll drop it. The problem is that we tend to not leave our toxic relationships because we believe in the person that we fell in love with. The reality of it is that person, never exist...
The man you fell in love with...never existed
July 01, 2021 13:00 - 13 minutes - 9.07 MBWhen you start in a toxic relationship, when you start to meet this person that will lead you down the road of a toxic, abusive, or narcissistic relationship, they start creating a person for you to fall in love with. They create a persona for your imagination purposes only and when they have you, they'll drop it. The problem is that we tend to not leave our toxic relationships because we believe in the person that we fell in love with. The reality of it is that person, never existed. You ...
34. The Man You Fell In Love with...Never Existed
July 01, 2021 13:00 - 13 minutes - 9.07 MBWhen you start in a toxic relationship, when you start to meet this person that will lead you down the road of a toxic, abusive, or narcissistic relationship, they start creating a person for you to fall in love with. They create a persona for your imagination purposes only and when they have you, they'll drop it. The problem is that we tend to not leave our toxic relationships because we believe in the person that we fell in love with. The reality of it is that person, never existed. You ...
Financial abuse and how to recognize it
June 24, 2021 09:00 - 17 minutes - 12.1 MBFinancial abuse involves controlling a victim's ability to acquire, to use our, maintain their financial freedom. Abusers think their money is theirs, but so is yours. Not only do they want to control your lives, your emotions and your thoughts, but they also want to control your money. Why is this something that is not recognized or even talked about? This is a form of silent abuse. It is not commonly recognized and financial abuse can vary from person to person, just like the way to handle...
33. Financial Abuse: Taking Control of Your Finances
June 24, 2021 09:00 - 17 minutes - 12.1 MBFinancial abuse involves controlling a victim's ability to acquire, use, and maintain their financial freedom. Abusers think their money is theirs, but so is yours. Not only do they want to control your lives, your emotions, and your thoughts, but they also want to control your money. Why is this something that is not recognized or even talked about? This is a form of silent abuse. Financial abuse is about control, and you have to figure out how to break that control, because if there is f...
33. Financial abuse and how to recognize it
June 24, 2021 09:00 - 17 minutes - 12.1 MBFinancial abuse involves controlling a victim's ability to acquire, to use our, maintain their financial freedom. Abusers think their money is theirs, but so is yours. Not only do they want to control your lives, your emotions and your thoughts, but they also want to control your money. Why is this something that is not recognized or even talked about? This is a form of silent abuse. It is not commonly recognized and financial abuse can vary from person to person, just like the way t...
Toxic relationships information recap
June 17, 2021 09:00 - 11 minutes - 8.04 MBIn this episode, I took the most important details from the previous episodes to give you a better understanding of a few terms when it comes to toxic or abusive relationship. Support the show (https://buymeacoffee.com/rakel) Support the show
32. Toxic relationships information recap
June 17, 2021 09:00 - 11 minutes - 8.04 MBIn this episode, I took the most important details from the previous episodes to give you a better understanding of a few terms when it comes to toxic or abusive relationship. Support the show (https://buymeacoffee.com/rakel) Support the show
32. Escaping the Toxic Web: Past Episodes Recap
June 17, 2021 09:00 - 11 minutes - 8.04 MBIn this episode, we look into the dynamics of narcissistic partners, their tactics like gaslighting and love bombing, and the concept of trauma bonding. Understanding these patterns can give you the strength to take necessary actions and seek support. Remember, you are not alone, and there is hope for a better future. To learn more about my coaching sessions and how to break free, visit RakelColina.com/Coaching. Facing small fears can lead to big changes. Here's all the ways we can connec...
The Gray Rock Method to handle difficult relationships
June 10, 2021 09:00 - 17 minutes - 11.7 MBThe Gray Rock Method is a strategy some people use when interacting with a manipulative or abuse partner or individual. It allows you to step back and simply observe, It’s basically the act of becoming as unresponsive as possible to this particular person’s behavior. It’s a way to deflect further abuse. This involves becoming as boring and uninteresting as you can be when interacting with your abuser. This is a way of trying to go “unnoticed”. The term describes a rock that is just like a...
31. Using The Gray Rock Method to Handle The Narcissist
June 10, 2021 09:00 - 17 minutes - 11.7 MBIn this podcast episode, I'll share a powerful technique called "The Gray Rock Method," designed to help those dealing with toxic or abusive relationships. I personally struggle with implementing this method due to my passionate nature, but I recognize its importance. The Gray Rock Method involves becoming unresponsive and uninteresting to the abuser to avoid their manipulative tactics. By being brief, unemotional, and avoiding eye contact, you can deny them the attention they crave. Howev...
31. The Gray Rock Method to handle difficult relationships
June 10, 2021 09:00 - 17 minutes - 11.7 MBThe Gray Rock Method is a strategy some people use when interacting with a manipulative or abuse partner or individual. It allows you to step back and simply observe, It’s basically the act of becoming as unresponsive as possible to this particular person’s behavior. It’s a way to deflect further abuse. This involves becoming as boring and uninteresting as you can be when interacting with your abuser. This is a way of trying to go “unnoticed”. The term describes a rock that is jus...
Trauma Bonding - Why doesn't she just leave him?
June 03, 2021 09:00 - 16 minutes - 11.3 MBTrauma bonding is a psychological response to abuse. This happens when an abused person forms an unhealthy bond with their abuser. The person that is experiencing or exposed to this abuse may even develop sympathy for the abuser, this becomes reinforced by cycles of abuse and then remorse. Trying to leave a toxic or abusive relationship comes with a lot to manage. Not only will you have to figure out how to proceed once you leave this person. It also plays a big part when you have to start...
30. Trauma Bonding: Why Doesn't She Just Leaves Him?
June 03, 2021 09:00 - 16 minutes - 11.3 MBTrauma bonding is a psychological response to abuse. This happens when an abused person forms an unhealthy bond with their abuser. The person that is experiencing or exposed to this abuse may even develop sympathy for the abuser, this becomes reinforced by cycles of abuse and then remorse. Trying to leave a toxic or abusive relationship comes with a lot to manage. Not only will you have to figure out how to proceed once you leave this person. It also plays a big part when you have to start...
30. Trauma Bonding - Why doesn't she just leave him?
June 03, 2021 09:00 - 16 minutes - 11.3 MBTrauma bonding is a psychological response to abuse. This happens when an abused person forms an unhealthy bond with their abuser. The person that is experiencing or exposed to this abuse may even develop sympathy for the abuser, this becomes reinforced by cycles of abuse and then remorse. Trying to leave a toxic or abusive relationship comes with a lot to manage. Not only will you have to figure out how to proceed once you leave this person. It also plays a big part when you have ...
29. "You've changed", why people say it.
May 27, 2021 09:00 - 19 minutes - 13.3 MBA lot of people come to you and say, “you've changed”, all the while you have been looking for ways to change from the person that you were previously. This is a good thing! Don’t get discouraged, this means that you are growing as a person and others are taking notice. Keep changing and keep evolving. Don’t stop yourself from taking the leap and making the changes. Some people will see this as something good, others will think it’s bad. There’s people out there that like you and m...
"You've changed", why people say it.
May 27, 2021 09:00 - 19 minutes - 13.3 MBA lot of people come to you and say, “you've changed”, all the while you have been looking for ways to change from the person that you were previously. This is a good thing! Don’t get discouraged, this means that you are growing as a person and others are taking notice. Keep changing and keep evolving. Don’t stop yourself from taking the leap and making the changes. Some people will see this as something good, others will think it’s bad. There’s people out there that like you and may be ev...