Delight Your Marriage

233-CONFLICT is... good? Interview with Larry Shushansky

Oh man! You're going to get a lot out of this one. Larry Shushansky (from https://www.independentenough.com/) has 40 years of experience as a psychotherapist. We dig into what conflict is, why it happens and how to deal with it. But also that it is GOOD for your marriage. However, MOST couples do conflict WRONG---thus it's BAD for theirs. Don't let yours be in this category! He has been featured on: Psychology Today, Fast Company, Chicago Tribune, The Huffington Post to name a few... and...

“Honey, for my Christmas present, would you...?”

If you’ve listened for a while you may be at a spot where you’re really hoping your spouse would tune into the content.  Especially if you’re a husband there is a way that may be really effective around the holiday.  “Honey, for my Christmas present would you [read this book, watch this video training with me...]?” I have seen this be an effective way to encourage your spouse towards listening and recievubg some of this content that isn’t always the easiest to invite her to listen to or ...

232-Reflect On This One, For Your Next Best Year

The new year is just about upon us! But how are you prepping for it? How are you making sure you're growing in the ways God wants you to? In this podcast, I invite you to think about the ways God may be asking you to reflect on the year you've had. I encourage you to have a pen and paper handy so you can jot down what comes up for you.  Why is this a difficult task? I discuss the 3 reasons people don't reflect, but then the way it's vitally important if we're going to be the people God w...

231-Happiness

It's that time of year. Happiness and fun and joy is expected.  Is it reality for you?  Do you have joy in your heart?  CAN you have it?  I want to talk about this because the holidays can be extremely difficult. And I want to invite you to think about the things you can do even today that will change your perspectives.  How do you make your life aligned with your deepest values and highest vision? I speak specifically about tools that will help you get there. If you'd like the P...

230-"I Don't Know What to Do"

I’ve been asking women about hope they feel about seduction because 1-that’s what I hear so often from the husbands I coach. They crave to be seduced by their wives. 2-that’s what I hear so often from wives...  I’m not comfortable. I don’t know what to do. Is God even OK with it?  We have been married for so many years, how do I start?  How do I get over feeling silly?   I want to encourage you. Because the third reason I wanted to record this is because this is how I have fel...

A prayer for you

229-Arguments Affect Your Sex: My husband's awesome conversation

We argued yesterday. Knives were involved. Well truthfully, it was a disagreement at a restaurant. But the actual emotions happened way before the restaurant. My husband is on the show again (back by popular demand!) to tell how he was feeling and what he did and why.   Why is this important for your intimacy? A wife wants to make love to a man she feels safe with. If you're arguing in a way that makes her feel unsafe, then you're repelling her from the very thing you crave.   I want...

Arguments Affect Your Sex: My husband's awesome conversation

We argued yesterday. Knives were involved. Well truthfully, it was a disagreement at a restaurant. But the actual emotions happened way before the restaurant. My husband is on the show again (back by popular demand!) to tell how he was feeling and what he did and why.   Why is this important for your intimacy? A wife wants to make love to a man she feels safe with. If you're arguing in a way that makes her feel unsafe, then you're repelling her from the very thing you crave.   I want...

228-Stretch Yourself to Enjoy Lovemaking

Your first time having sex, was it just like my experience? A bit awkward, NOT like how the movies portrayed it, and maybe even a BIT uncomfortable?   So now that you've done it a lot more, I bet what was uncomfortable in the beginning has started to feel a lot more comfortable, right? So, would you like to ENJOY it more?   Have you ever asked yourself these questions: Should I initiate?  Should I just go for it and stretch myself and seduce him? Is it okay for me to suddenly ch...

227-Love Your Body TO Love Sex

I used to think "if I just got thin enough then I'd be confident." But, then I did. And I didn't.  Our society tricks us into thinking beauty is only a certain thing. But God made us beautiful. And when you don't love your body your chances of loving sex is far lower.  On this episode I want to help you see more clearly and not have the inappropriate expectations of yourself that is inhibiting your joy and passion in sex.  I also have some help for husbands on how to help their wives i...

A quick favor? Which do you prefer?

Do you prefer Option 1 or Option 2? I'd like to hear your vote and to do that, I'd so appreciate a 5-star review and comment on iTunes! As you're one of the 680,004 listens we've had of the podcast so far, it would mean so much to hear from you! How do you review on iTunes? Even if you're already subscribed, here are the steps: A-In the iTunes app on your phone or computer, Search "Delight". B-Then click the "Delight Your Marriage" icon. C-Once it pops up, then scroll down a bit. ...

Low Drive? Discover "The 9 Lies Undermining Your Sex Drive" audio & pdf

For the free resources The 9 Lies Undermining Your Sex Drive audio & pdf go to: www.delightyourmarriage.com/desire   Do you have low drive? Discover the blocks that may be holding you back from a stronger desire for your husband! 

226-"My Husband's A Sociopath. Really." Interview with Marie Wood Part 2

When she found out he went to jail because he almost killed his father and was a diagnosed sociopath... a thought struck her: “I will trust him with the lives of my future children”.   There are so many amazing topics for this week's podcast, I'm not sure which ones should I write here! Marie and I talk more in depth about her relationship with God and her relationship with her husband.   These are just some of the things we talk about: what life with a husband who is a sociopath lo...

225-Loving During Your Child's Suffering. Interview with Marie Wood Part 1

I had a wonderful and extremely inspiring chat with Marie Wood, who is raising 5 children (a basketball team, according to her!) with her husband, David Wood--the very famous Apologist. Two of their sons, Reid and Paley, both have a rare, life-threatening condition called myotubular myopathy. It’s so rare that it only affects 1 in 50,000 male live births. It causes problems with muscle tone and dangerously affects muscles that control necessary functions like breathing and swallowing. In t...

224-Make Intercourse More Pleasurable for Her. Interview with Ruth Buezis Part 2

Hi there! This is part 2 of my chat with Ruth Buezis, author of Awaken Love. You can listen to part 1 here. If you loved listening to part 1, part 2 delves deeper into the specifics of lovemaking and Ruth and I's thoughts about the different types of orgasm that women would love to experience.    Other things we talk about: Just having sex vs. getting to know each other through sex The dynamics of who leads during intercourse The in and out movement for a man, it's good for him. But...

223-Make Intercourse More Pleasurable for Her. Interview with Ruth Buezis Part 1

I'm so excited to chat with Ruth Buezis (author of Awaken Love) about how to transform your sex life  into something much deeper.    Ruth started out her journey by talking about sex to 8 of her closest friends! Word spread and she's now sharing her journey to hundreds of women who used to be in the same boat as she was.    We talk about Christian couples and the usual questions we get from them: -How do I help my wife orgasm? -How do I orgasm during intercourse (from wives)? -...

222-Attract Her Back

How do you become MORE attractive to your wife?    What exactly do I mean when I say "attraction"?    Well, it's kind of like having a pull towards yourself. Whatever it is that you're doing, it's going to pull her and cause her to desire you. When you're attractive to her, she'll also have a physical desire towards you.   What can you do as a spouse to cause her to be interested again? To be FULLY in the marriage again?   My theory? Attraction works outside of marriage like ...

Delight Your Husband is available on paperback!

  Over the years listeners have asked for my book Delight Your Husband: The Christian wife’s manual to passion, confidence, and oral sex, to be available on paperback. It is now available!   And if you get the book, read, and review on Amazon, you can have access to a $97 Masterclass for free!   The Masterclass will be September 15, 2019! When you do those three things go ahead and email [email protected] And you’ll be on the list! Thank you so so much!

221-If Sex Is A Duty

Does sex feel like a duty?   When he asks to make love, I believe that he's actually doing a really brave thing. He could be afraid of rejection and is actually insecure about it.  What if you have the opportunity to bring out your husband's generosity by being compassionate about his sexuality? As a side: Dear husbands, If you want your wife to work with me, I encourage you to take the first step in transforming your marriage. By doing this, she'll be receptive to transforming herself a...

220-Plan Sex, Sexily

First and foremost, I'm so glad you're planning for sex. Many people let this HIGH priority slip away from their marriage. And they wonder why their marriage turns into a disaster.   I am GRATEFUL if you are one who puts it on your calendar--it means you DO prioritize it!   So, I'm now encouraging you to go the next step and make it sexy. So often I hear from husbands that they make love the exact same way every single time they make love. And "it's even on the calendar!"   Well,...

219-All-day Seduction

What does it mean and WHY would you actually do it? What if it’s COMPLETELY outside of your personality? What to actually do? (Steamy examples!) --- Before we dive in… I run a men's course called Masculinity Reclaimed: Be respected, enjoy fierce intimacy and love being married again.   It's a program which helps you understand how to be an amazing husband so your wife wants to do this kind of stuff. It dramatically transforms  marriages.    I work with men in this program ...

A prayer for you today

Good Morning--- I wanted to say a prayer for you. And let you know that whatever situation you're facing He is with you. He is right there beside you.  He says: 28 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Matt 11:28-30 (NIV)   God is with you in this situation. Jesus loves you and wa...

218-Invite God Into Your Sex Life

Do you wish YOU were into sex more?   A lot of things are not mentioned in the Bible: Electricity Vehicles Importance of exercise Internet So much of our daily life is not spoken about in the Bible! And yet we have no problem doing it, every day. In fact, we’d say it was good, though not mentioned in the Bible.    So, why don’t we have the same view of sex?    Art isn’t mentioned in the Bible but some like painting, some like sculpture, others like charcoal. As with art, ...

217-Transform to be Easygoing (Final keys) Part 3

This is our (my husband and I) final conversation about being easygoing, playful and fun together.  It's a bit of insight into our relationship and we believe it'll give you some inspiration into where your marriage can go.    I go through the final keys to making your marriage peaceful and walking through life in a state of calm, rather than rushing in a state of stress.  A couple of things you'd be interested to hear... how (and why) my husband responds when he's watching a game (...

216-Transform to be Easygoing Part 2

My darling husband and I continue our chat about becoming easygoing and why it's important to develop this skill. And how it can impact even their relationship with Jesus. We have some playful convo but also some serious and important things to say. My husband" derails" my 15-point plan ;) with a very insightful and emotional commentary that you won't want to miss!  This is Part 2 of 3.   If you'd like to revolutionize your marriage and your intimacy I want to invite you onto a Clarity...

213-Obsessed with Sex?

I think this has been something I've wondered and I know the wives I've worked with have thought their husbands were. Maybe you're a husband and you're concerned that you might be too? Maybe you're a wife and think your husband is. I mean there's a lot less scriptures about sex in the bible than there are about other things right?    Well...Have you heard all the scriptures about golf? And yet, people spend a lot of time golfing. Or playing football. Or doing make up or hair or cloth...

215-Are You at "The End of Your Rope"?

"I can't go on like this" "I don't think we can make this work"  "I'm at the end of my rope" (what I hear the MOST) I hate these phrases. They're not literal, and they mean this person is in severe pain. I am sad about that. I am sad that you're in such heartache. I'm sorry that you feel so alone, frustrated, discouraged and desperate.  But I want you to have hope. I want you to have FAITH for your marriage.  Ephesians 6:12 "For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but agai...

214-Transform to be Easygoing (5 Keys) Part 1

Is easygoing a personality trait or a skill? I am definitely NOT a natural "easy-goer". Most of my life, I have generally had an opinion and if asked I could find one pretty quickly. I generally have had a schedule and way in which I'd like things done. And I'm extremely goal-oriented and don't have a lot of patience for those who aren't. Well, those can be super qualities for productivity and work, they're not necessarily the best for marriage. We've gone through a path. I've learned a lo...

212-The 3 Ways to Change A Controlling Wife

Sexless + Controlling = miserable husband Sex-Full + Controlling = miserable husband Sexless + Non Controlling = miserable husband   Sadly, sexless or controlling or both are the biggest problems I see. And this is what I hear from husbands that are desperate for change. I want to help you!   JFYI My husband said this is one of the best podcasts ever---he has only said that 1 other time (!) so I hope this is one that is helpful for you.   I talk about foundational truths abou...

211-"Honey, You're Hot--PLEASE Seduce Me!"

Yep... MY husband said this! Like last week.   What did he mean? Maybe you're a wife that has insecurities like me? After a wonderfully intimate evening, I came clean about something I had been struggling with for a while. He was able to give ear to my heart and hear that I was feeling pain that I wasn't even aware I was hiding from him.   Various husbands have expressed confusion as to why a wife wouldn't want him looking at others while at the SAME TIME she's hiding her curves he L...

210-Should You Tell Her About Your Past Sex Life?

Do you want unity in your marriage? Do you want her to feel safe to be utterly vulnerable and literally naked before you? Then it is NOT helpful for her to know your past sex life.  You probably have forgotten plenty of your past, but once you've told her it will stay with her for years--even decades. Whatever sexual sin you've had before (or even the porn you've done while) is sin. It's your job as a man to discipline your mind, and your actions to be faithful to her. But if you're maki...

209-Last Week... My Brother Was Found Without A Pulse

I have been late to get a podcast out to you...for a pretty important reason. My brother was found on the side of the road without a pulse. I raced to the hospital several states away and arrived when the doctors told us he may be brain dead---we found out they were considering putting him on life-support. No one knew how long he was there without blood pumping through his body.    But God. My family reached out to loved ones, Christians, churches, friends, friends of friends all askin...

208-"Help! I Have Low Libido" OR "HE Does!"

What if you're a wife that has WAY lower libido than your husband? If you feel like this is just physiologically the way you were made, I want to help. I think there's a lot more to you and the way you're set up sexually. I, Belah Rose, "the sexpert", can easily say I have a low libido. Does that keep me and my husband from having an incredible sex life? Fierce, firey, sensual, spiritual... And I get turned on too and get excited about making love! So... I don't think your libido/"natural"...

207-My Husband's Advice

My husband is a very wise man. Probably the wisest I've met (and I get to live with him! :) :) :) )   Listeners have asked to hear from my husband and I'm glad because he has a lot of wonderful & helpful things to share! I think his message has nuggets that any and every marriage will benefit from!   -- If you're a husband... I'm about to pilot a brand new program:   Masculinity Reclaimed: Be respected, enjoy fierce intimacy and love being married again!   I have SO many ...

Calling all men who want an AMAZING sex life! And be respected outside of the bedroom!

I'm about to pilot a brand new program: Masculinity Reclaimed: Be respected, enjoy fierce intimacy and thrive in your marriage again!   It’ll be a phenomenal program! I already have had 50% of those I’ve invited into the program apply, so I’m expecting a very strong group of men joining. Yesterday, was a small sampling of speaking/teaching men directly and it was absolutely phenomenal what they’ve already received marriage/intimacy changing revelations/insights that they were COMPLETELY ...

206-Playful sex life

Productiveness IS  good, but we forget that we're not just human doers -- we're also human beings. Take the story of Martha and Mary. Martha was working hard and being productive FOR JESUS. Mary was calmly sitting, being still and LISTENING TO JESUS. Both were Godly women. And Jesus even defended Mary for “choosing the good part” when Martha accused her of not DOING. Consider how Jesus modeled JOY and DELIGHT --  not just productivity. He certainly “did” a lot, but he also had breakfast ...

205-Words in Sex

Words are important. They can cause a wildfire or a passionate flame in your bedroom.   Outside of the bedroom: We can be hurtful and careless with our words and say “Oh he’s my husband”. Does that sound familiar? But is he really JUST your husband? That is God’s son you’re dealing with.   If you want to get your words in line with God’s will, one of the first things that needs to be done is to APOLOGIZE. Just get it out of the way. It’s hard, especially if it’s not part of the cultur...

204-The TRUTH about "honesty"

A lot of women are under the impression that they need to share everything with their husbands. In fact, they say this is being “honest”. I disagree. In EVERY marriage (yes, even VERY good ones), there are many things that are not (and should not) be shared. No one needs to share about tons of bathroom stuff---yuck, not sexy. But there are tons of other things that just wouldn’t be useful, helpful, godly, respectful, kind or many other reasons to share. AND it depends on what level of th...

203-Your Sex-Life Impacts Your Kids

As a mother, you would do ANYTHING for your children. What does that have to do with making love to their father? Well, A LOT. In fact, their eternity is at stake. Really. Your marriage teaches your kids to treat others, adults and themselves. Your marriage teaches them what a healthy relationship/marriage looks like and that they want one. Your marriage shows them that a relationship with Jesus is fun and worth picking the right spouse and waiting for it! Your marriage shows them w...

202-Wisdom > $$$

What does money have to do with your marriage? Finances are often touted as the biggest reason for divorce... but get this: when you have an awesome sex life studies estimate that it's equivalent to having an additional $100k per year! So... NO financial issues... But there's more, the BIGGEST financial DISASTER that can ever befall someone is divorce. SO an awesome marriage and sex life can either pay big $$$ or cost you a ton of money!   With all that said, how well are you prioritiz...

201-Why he's DESPERATE for your intimacy

I get so many emails from husbands. I want to send a message to their wives...the wife I used to be. I was a wife who saw sex as Dirty Wrong Ungodly Scary He was sinning for wanting it Too much work I didn't like it / it hurt / I didn't know what to do I don't have time I don't have energy What's in it for me? He's way too interested in sex And so I avoided it and got resentful that the things I was doing wasn't appreciated. He kept asking me to learn more... and I got ...

200-Two Types of Sex: Masculine & Feminine

Are you having the WRONG type of sex? Why your wife doesn't LOVE intimacy Why sex feels carnal Why sex feels like it's just for HIM Why sex isn't fulfilling (EVEN if you orgasm) I argue that there is a very legitimate reason... You guys haven't made feminine sex....ever Have you ever even been exposed to what feminine sex is? Let me give you a description and then the tools on how to get started! Go to www.delightyourmarriage.com/type for further explanation and a step-by-st...

199-The 3 Things He Wants In Sex

So... my husband listens to every podcast before I post them. He often gives me notes on what I need to take out or change. I have been podcasting since Feb 2015 (!!) and by God's grace have been awarded one of the Top 30 Relationship podcasts on the web!! My husband ended up listening and having an entire page FULL of notes. POSITIVE notes! (One negative note--not that it was wrong but that it might be a bit too explicit. I countered "I just don't want wives to be confused with what I'm...

198-Fear of change

197-The Gifts of Suffering

How could suffering ever be a gift? Why would focusing on suffering be a wise thing? A lot of times the women I coach don't take the time to look at the pain and suffering they're experiencing. But when they do that, they are distracting themselves away from its lessons--the wisdom God wants to teach us through it. And even through our AWARENESS of it. On this episode, I talk about the 13 Gifts of Sufferings and I talk specifically about some of my own sufferings that have given me gre...

196-Can it ever really change?

Can things really change? "It's been 5, 10, 25 years, how could this ever be different?" Suffering in marriage makes your whole life suffer---kids, job, ministry, peace, walking in the fruits of the spirit, sexual fulfillment, chastity in thoughts, satisfaction in marriage, covetous thoughts of other marriages, sin in many places, not starting the ministries God has called you to and would thus not touch the many people God wants you too!!   It's 2019, packed in this message is lots of...

What should your life be about at the beginning of 2019?

WHAT SHOULD YOUR LIFE BE ABOUT AT THE BEGINNING OF 2019? I used to try to cram all of my goals into the beginning of the year. And I would scramble for a few weeks potentially months—at best and then drop all of them by April.   I’ve learned something very valuable that I wanted to share today. I want to talk to you about exactly how I set my priorities throughout every year. It frees me up to focus, relax and listen to God’s voice.   This year I’m really excited and there’s a lot ...

195-Part 6: How to EFFECTIVELY change it

You might think your marriage is too far gone. There is too much strife, emotional and mental abuse, painful memories, WAY too much baggage to ever recover.  I encourage you to review this entire series and take a journey with me on this episode. Maybe we've been looking at this whole marriage thing all wrong. And we've been looking at what it means to be man and woman wrong too? What is the masculine nature? What is the feminine nature? Can a man have both, can a woman have both?  Is ...

195-Abuse, Part 6: How to EFFECTIVELY change it

You might think your marriage is too far gone. There is too much strife, emotional and mental abuse, painful memories, WAY too much baggage to ever recover.  I encourage you to review this entire series and take a journey with me on this episode. Maybe we've been looking at this whole marriage thing all wrong. And we've been looking at what it means to be man and woman wrong too? What is the masculine nature? What is the feminine nature? Can a man have both, can a woman have both?  I...

194-Abuse, Part 5: Sexual Abuse

1 in 4 women this year will be sexually abused. You may never know who... your sister, best friend, daughter, mother, wife... You may have been the victim. I'm so sorry for your pain and what you have been through. You are not alone and you do not need to feel shame any longer.  Today's podcast is to help all women process the pain of abuse. I think it affects all of us whether we ourselves have experienced it or not, we live in a culture where that is the norm... When was the last news...