Delight Your Marriage

Just started: Men's Masterclass Oct 11, 12 & 13!

delightym.com Join us!  Some gents have met together to go through the material carefully after each class (like a Bible Study!). Some men have moved their vacation schedules! Some men asked if they should take off work to make sure they can be a part.  Our team does an amazing job of making this a fantastic experience for the attendees -- very interactive with quizzes, points, prizes and most of all an opportunity to gain the perspective and tools that could change your marriage f...

308-How to Get Her In the Mood (& Turn Her On)

This Monday -- Oct 11 is when the Men's Masterclass begins -- sign up delightym.com and please send it to your friend who may need this. --Now to the show!-- I think all the wives will want their husbands to listen to this one.    Because I have the good fortune of working with men every (work) day and hearing their unfiltered thoughts about intimacy... I can help you understand why your wife often rejects you.   One of the major truths is that it's SCARY to initiate sex with y...

307-He does not know it will cost him his life

He does not know it will cost him his life.   Sounds like a horror movie -- where the killer is waiting in the woods without the person knowing. But the person should never have come into the haunted house in the first place -- if only he knew it would cost him his life. (Isn't that how those horror movies go? I don't actually know, I don't watch them.)   But, my hope is that this episode would grab you at your core.    I hope it does.    Our society says the absolute opp...

306-"Resigned Myself to Misery" to "Happiest We've Ever Been." Nick's Transformation Story

Get inspired and encouraged by Nick's story. It's amazing! They were miserable. He had plenty of ministry and church background. He certainly tried his best! They had 5-kids, including a brand new baby. But he and she had resigned themselves to misery. He didn't even want his kids to get married because it was so painful for both of them. But in 6 weeks it all turned around, by God's grace!   Why do I share this and other stories of God's transformation? 1 - Because you need ...

305-Fear God and Remember to "Make Love"

Our society today so often wants to ignore God's design and essentially forget the fear of the Lord. But, he made men and women in His image and those uniquenesses are incredible! Physiological, psychological, emotional, and sexual...UNIQUE. Each of our uniquenesses is God's glory revealed. It's our opportunity to search out His glory through each other.  And it makes sense that the enemy wants to undermine God's design in every way that he can. One way is pretending that we're t...

304-No Desire Due to Abuse, But Now "I Just Want It So Bad!" Testimonials with Two Pastors

Pastor Nathan's wife had abuse/trauma growing up that severely inhibited her sexual desire and affection with him.  They were good people and she wanted to love him well, but couldn't because of her past.  And her libido was SO low.  Pastor Nathan went through the Masculinity Reclaimed program and his wife transformed before his eyes. (She didn't do a program). His favorite moment was when he said after a very passionate experience and he said "thank you"--she responded "well, it w...

303-Communication Secrets - Part 2

This is the next part of Communication Secrets and I think it's an important addendum.    We talk about what to do when you're disappointed with your spouse.    When you want them to change.    When you feel they were irresponsible.   I have two examples for you:  1 - When a friend was irresponsible and God brought conviction even when He kept me from saying anything. 2 - When I was irresponsible (I know---unbelievable!) and God brought conviction even when my husband did...

302-Communication Secrets

So much stress revolves around communication. I've been there! My husband and I have miscommunications everyday. Today, for example, I was telling him about a sore in my mouth and he was sure I was talking about Europe.  That is silly and allowed for laughter. But what about when someone is lost and just hoping for the other to quickly look up directions. Or when you're in a stressful situation and one of you is incomprehensible (to you).  Well, I want to invite you to reframe ...

301-Fear God and Forget the Toothpaste

Two brothers were at the playground the other day.  I was talking to their mom. This happens to be a beautiful playground with a huge fountain and amazing monkey bars, places to run, sand, swings, ride-on toys, and loads of other kids to play with.  But guess what these two did? They fought over the same circular "stool" to stand on! The mom and I laughed. With everything available for them to do, THAT is what they had to fight about. Then I think about God.  We get into squabbles ...

300-Recognize God's Hand in Your Marriage...Or Else

I really do mean this title.  I keep seeing miracles, but when people don't recognize God's working in their lives... it may not continue.  It seems that sometimes people can get so fixed in a mindset of misery that when God does a miracle, they can think it was just a fluke and go back to their same ways of thinking.  The problem with that is, when your wife does something out of the ordinary and you don't thank God for it and have a grateful heart about it, she thinks it didn't matte...

299-Let the Sun Go Down On Your Argument

Do not let the sun go down on  your anger IS a scripture.  But for us go-getters it often feels like an argument has to get settled before any of us go to sleep. So there we are fighting about sex at 12am and wondering why the conversation didn't make both of us feel warm and connected? My encouragement is to feel the anger (which probably is just hurt covered over by anger) and choose to take a break. Feel the feelings with God. Let them go. Forgive her.  My encouragement is to fee...

298-Respect An Untrustworthy Husband--or He May Never Change

I used to think I only respected someone if they deserved it. Whether that was my husband or the young adults I worked with. Which meant I didn't treat them with respect. Maybe not blatant disrespect as I saw it. But more neutral. Though I have come to find out "neutral" is generally not good. My natural tendency if I don't have the correct heart (that God created everyone and they should be treated with respect) is being mean. Maybe it's our human nature? Anyway, what I discovered...

297-Courage Is Required for Intimacy

We're all insecure.  Which I think is why God says "do not fear" so often in the Bible.  The only one we are to fear is Him. (Which when we get that right, it puts everything else in perspective and it's a lot easier to not fear everything else.) We have to take courage in all aspects of our lives in order to do God's will. And when we fear the wrong things we get off track.  Whether it's fearing rejection or meanness from your wife. Or whether it's fearing what he thinks about your ...

296-My Husband's Reaction to the Miracles

If you've ever heard my husband on the podcast, you'll want to hear him now. I was speaking to a mom at the playground and she was remarking at how calm Darrow is. "I think babies love him because they can somehow sense his calmness and presence. It's very unique.” I couldn't agree more.   On today's episode, you'll hear the amazing stories! (I was hoping to go "rapid fire" through a ton of the stories... well, we definitely didn't do that, but I think it's actually a lot better this way...

295-Hollow & Cold to Joyful & Intimate (She Had No Inkling). Testimonial with Timothy R.

So, this is such a fun story to share. I believe it will inspire hope, excitement and most importantly faith that God can do this for you too! I remember speaking with Timothy on our first call together and the sincere pain and loneliness he felt with his wife which was so visceral and real.  He reached out firstly just to thank me for an encouraging podcast that he stumbled upon after a really tough moment between he and his wife and it encouraged him. My heart went out to him. A big ...

294-Motivate Her Towards Wholehearted Intimacy

If you are wondering why she won't initiate or she doesn't have passion when you do...  Here are a few things you may be missing. Too many men reach out to me and work with me that need this.  If we really believe the Bible, then its instruction will solve the "unsatisfied sexually" dilemma in your marriage too! Spoiler alert: Being the spiritual leader is a turn-on for your wife! Here's why. Maybe it didn't matter to her early in your relationship, why would it matter now? Here'...

293-She Didn't Want to Listen OR Him Listening, But Now... Testimonial with Russ & Kim

Coming up on their 35th wedding anniversary, Kim didn't even want to celebrate. "I don't like you.... I don't want to be mean, but I don't want to lie either". And Kim definitely didn't want Russ to listen to my material. Because she didn't want him to think more about sex than he already did. But, after taking the Free Men's Masterclass, Russ felt God told him to go forward with the paid Masculinity Reclaimed program... without her knowledge. He felt (at least at first) it'd be ...

292-Make Orgasm Easier for Her

Today's topic is a topic that I hear a lot about from men and women.    I'm addressing men because I think there is a lot of misunderstandings about what turns a woman on. I want to give you some practical help. I'm not mincing words here (though I do make up my own--if you're a long-time listener you understand. :)   This may be some of my best guidance for men, and so I hope you listen with a pen and paper. But women may never have been able to articulate their challenges before, a...

291-Starting Over

Life is messy.    Things get busy.   Our focus can get on things that just don't matter.   But...    We get to start over.    We can take a breath.    We can reach to see God's perspective.    What does He think about this situation?    What matters to Him most in this difficulty?    I don't think we can see His perspective unless we're well-rested.    Unless we "come to Me all you who are weary and heavy-laden and I will give you rest.”   It's a d...

FREE women's masterclass (& enrollment to Intimate Freedom, the wife's program!)

1 - Get the FREE women's masterclass here! delightyourmarriage.com/wm   2 - The women's program: Intimate Freedom: enjoy connection, feel confident, and even crave intimacy with him! ...is now enrolling (you need to sign up for the women's masterclass for a chance to enroll in the full Intimate Freedom program.)   Listen in to hear a snippet from Jennie on what she thinks about the women's Intimate Freedom (IF) program.    Other Intimate Freedom Program Members:  "I texted my...

290-Repulsed by His Touch 17 Years & Now Craves It. Testimonial with Dana

She wanted nothing to do with touch, much less intimacy. For years.  She loved the Lord and it took a journey for Him to bring her to a place where she was ready to receive teaching around the importance of intimacy. When Dana felt like her marriage was all but broken and then God took her on a journey and helped her to see what was missing in their marriage.  They hadn't made love (at all) for years. And when she took the Free Women's Masterclass the Holy Spirit spoke to her and c...

289-Failure & Embarrassment to Growth & Godliness

"It's part of life." But it really is, IF we're growing. If we numb and distract ourselves away from God's growth opportunities, we can really get off track.  When you have made a mistake, own it, apologize for it, learn from it, and tether yourself to Christ BECAUSE of it.  We can't do this on our own. We're not supposed to. And if you think you can, sin is probably getting in there.  When you make a mistake it is a grace.  "It is His kindness that leads us to repentance." Romans ...

288-Listen for Intimacy

When she says, "We just don't communicate," or "You never listen,"...she is talking about this learnable skill.    Listen to her heart. Listen to understand. Listen to let her know you understand and care.   Not listening to respond or even defend yourself.    It is to listen to her emotions and sit with her in her pain. To be curious and to give her a safe space to share. When she shares her emotions (her heart) vulnerably, you are witnessing courage.    You are on sacred gr...

287-Steadying the Waves of Marriage

It's ok to not feel amazing in your marriage all the time. This is real life and sometimes things happen.  Someone gets sick. Someone is tired. Someone was selfish. Someone wasted away their entire Saturday watching superhero movies and didn't feel like being an intentionally seductive tigress. (This last one was definitely me).    Your spouse is wonderful, but even in the best marriage there will be moments of the negative side of the wave. And that's ok. That's normal.  If ...

286-Change Your Motivations

If you've ever seen a headline (one of mine or someone else's), "They did [this] and got [this]" you may have experienced a "transactional trigger".    My motivation is to attract people who need transformation in their marriages.    What I call "missional marketing", some may call "bait and switch", which is kind of true, too.   You may be someone who came for a certain outcome, but you listened and found out that to get that [thing], you have to change who you are - including y...

285-Courage to Change

In our family, we are going through some important paradigm shifts around parenting - through a coach, articles, books, etc. It's great! It’s also hard to look at the mistakes.  The truth is that it is hard to change. It is not only difficult to do things differently, but it also takes courage. It takes courage to say, "You know what? I was doing things wrong and now I'm going to do it better.”  It's vulnerable and can feel excruciating - very! But it is strength, not weakness, to ...

284-Discipline for Intimacy

Duty sex" or "lazy or selfish husband". These are phrases I hear a lot. And it's sad.  It's certainly not what a good and loving marriage should be. "Duty sex" often means a wife's body might be present during physical intimacy, but her mind and enthusiasm are far, far away. These are painful to a man's heart.  And "lazy or selfish husband" is usually the man who from her perspective takes her for granted--the romantic getaways, surprises and special gifts or experiences are long gone an...

283-How to Love No Matter What

I talk a lot about success stories. To inspire you that transformation can happen and God does it all the time! But this is really all about unconditional love. That your actions and words towards your spouse are "I love you no matter what."  Why is that such a difficult posture to take with our spouse? I think our culture and society teaches us to compare, wrong ways of interacting with our spouse and a very "I won't do that unless you do this." So, this podcast episode is to... 1...

Good Friday Reflection & Prayer

282-Brink of Divorce, Now in Love. Testimonials with Hope & Norm

2 Different Stories: 1 - Norm's wife shared that she wanted to end the marriage. That she didn't like or love him anymore.  ​ He prayed fervently, listened to, and read lots of resources (including to all of mine :), but he didn't realize he was missing some key components that were actually undermining the good he was doing. ​ He joined Masculinity Reclaimed (MR) because he wanted the marriage that he heard from other MR Graduates had. He shares the specifics of what he did that made ...

Enrollment Officially Opened — & for 24hrs a surprise!

Enrollment for the men’s program and the women’s program just officially opened! The Delight Your Marriage team of mentors and teaching assistants are all graduates of the programs… and they are so excited to have you come on board and witness your marriage transform just like theirs did! You’ll definitely want to watch these video testimonials and see all the details—go to DelightYourMarriage.com/enroll Quick: If you sign up in the first 24hrs you’ll receive a FREE Team Strategy Session...

281-Sexless 35 Years, Now Lovemaking Every Week! And She Didn’t Know. Testimonial with Lyle

ANNOUNCEMENT: For those of you already registered for the FREE Masterclass---they are being released at 7pmEST, TODAY.  Or sign up here: delightyourmarriage.com/masterclass   --   About 15-20% of couples are "sexless" meaning very few instances of intimacy per year. When I work with these couples it's evident that both people are hurting. ​​And often the husband doesn't realize he's injuring his wife on a daily basis which prevents her from coming towards him in intimacy... which ...

281-Sexless 38 Years, Now Lovemaking Every Week! And She Didn’t Know. Testimonial with Paul

ANNOUNCEMENT: For those of you already registered for the FREE Masterclass---they are being released at 7pmEST, TODAY.  Or sign up here: delightyourmarriage.com/masterclass   --   About 15-20% of couples are "sexless" meaning very few instances of intimacy per year. When I work with these couples it's evident that both people are hurting. ​​And often the husband doesn't realize he's injuring his wife on a daily basis which prevents her from coming towards him in intimacy... which ...

280-Sex Created Constant Tension and It Now Creates Desire. Kyle & Ali's Testimonial.

Have you ever felt like your intimacy was just a duty that needed to be marked off the “to-do” list? What about that sex was great physically but emotionally it was empty? Or, have you gone to bed wondering why this amazing, God-given thing is causing so much strife in your marriage? Kyle & Ali were both there at one point in their marriage… Ali saw sex as a “thing” that was constantly there pestering her. She was intimate with her husband to please him and only him. Their children...

279-Suffering Over a Decade, Until One Choice at 3am & Now She Loves Intimacy. Glen & Anne's Testimonial

Anne and Glenn lived in a blissful honeymoon state at the beginning of their relationship, until their relationship quit growing and grew stale. They described it as being stuck in winter.   Anne felt like intimacy was an obligation and sex felt forced. She did not feel emotionally connected and he did not feel physically connected, so the suffering began.... and stayed for over two decades.    The power of a praying wife… God touched Glen and caused him to start a journey to better ...

278-Requirement for Your Marriage Miracle

If you want your marriage to change... this is required. Faith. Faith that it will change. But how do you even get there? How does it relate to your life? I have some extremely practical ways for you to have a renewed sense of faith that things can change. Keep in mind, if you don't have faith things will change---undoubtedly they never will. It is so easy to compare our lives and our circumstances to those around us. Add on plenty of cultural norms that make negativity almost an e...

277-Her Disinterest Transformed to Desire, When HE Changed. Testimonial with Jeremiah.

Today’s interview is with Jeremiah, a graduate of my Masculinity Reclaimed program. They had a pretty good marriage. And originally their sex life was pretty good, but life happened…   Like many of my listeners, once kids came into the picture things began to deteriorate in that department.    She no longer felt emotionally connected and he no longer felt fulfilled intimately.    Jeremiah realized he was only getting out of his marriage what he was putting into it; it was not a...

277-Emotional Vulnerability Transformed to Intimacy. Testimonial with Jeremiah.

Today’s interview is with Jeremiah, a graduate of Masculinity Reclaimed. Originally his marriage and sex life was pretty good, but life happened…   Like many of my listeners, once kids came into the picture things began to deteriorate intimately.    She no longer felt emotionally connected and he no longer felt fulfilled intimately.    Jeremiah realized he was only getting out of his marriage what he was putting into it; it was not actually all her fault.     So, he set out o...

276-Gents, When You Want It But She Doesn't

Frequently, men are craving intimacy more than their wives. If you're in that category, then this podcast will help you.    I have some very important lifestyle and in-the-moment advice for you when you are in the mood but she is not.    These are productive things you can do. And if you know me at all, I'm rooting for generous and fiery passion in your marriage, but... how do you get there?   Some of my advice may seem like it's not moving you in that direction. However, you may ...

FREE Training for Women: Confidence in Intimacy

Would love to have you for the Seductive Confidence training being released right now...    Sign up at www.delightyourmarriage.com/sc and the video trainings will come to your email.    It's available for a limited time, so I hope you'll join me!   Blessings, Belah

275-Wives, Organize Your Lives for Passion

Sex motivates us to be the men and women He wants us to be.    Men have to discipline themselves to be more like Jesus for her to want to have sex with him. For a woman to desire sex, she has to be at peace, confident, and aligned with God's priorities in who/what gets her time.    So, this podcast is directed towards women because often women are the organizers and they are the ones who tend to struggle to have passion. But what if there was a way to actually organize your life so ...

274-For 28 years It Was a Duty...Then a Miracle. Interview with Darcy

Darcy is a busy business owner, mother, and grandmother--married 28 years.  She loves God and has had a better than average marriage all that time. A friend of hers invited her to listen to the podcast--saying it had brought them to tears.  And when she listened, she too was brought to tears with a very different understanding of intimacy than she had ever realized.  God did an utter miracle in her heart and her marriage. For days she had a voracious appetite for intimacy with her ...

273-New Year, Stronger Vision

I love new years because everything feels fresh and energized. Even though practically speaking it's the same as every other day, you just have to start training yourself to use a new number at the end of your dates. But I am all about using whatever energy there is to increase my chances of growth and change--in God's will.  So, that's what today's podcast is about. Becoming stronger in your vision. It's about realizing that you're going to stand before Jesus and He'll be curious what y...

272-If You're Considering Divorce: A 5-Part Roadmap to Healing

There are too many marriages flirting with divorce. You may be one, if not you probably know several. Maybe you're at a spot where you don't want to be there.  ...you want to run away.  ...you're exhausted.  ...your spirit is broken.  Maybe you've only ever thought it or maybe you've admitted it to others.  I want to invite you to take the power you have to see that there may be a real strategy to get this thing turned around. The podcast I released is a roadmap on how to get ...

271-Use Challenge To Change Your Marital Culture

When we have a warm, loving culture in a family, passionate intimacy is the result. Or is it the cause? -- If you're listening to this in the present, our world is in many challenges and the holidays may look different than they ever have for your family. How can we see this as a gift? If you're a husband...  ​-you have an opportunity to shift the culture of your marriage to one that attracts your wife towards frequency, engagement, and freedom in intimacy.  If you're a wife......

270-She Felt Pushed, But Now She's Thrilled. Interview with Diana

My conversation today is with a wife who had a persistent husband.    After he worked on himself (!) he highly encouraged her to work with me in a program. At first, she wasn't happy about it and she felt pushed into it. But through the process of understanding who her husband is... different than who she is, she discovered that God may be asking of her something that she didn't expect.  For wives: if you feel "pushed," (assuming there's not abuse and your husband is a good man) Dian...

269-What Seduction Means. Interview with My Husband, Part 2

This is part 2 with my husband where we're talking about what seduction means to men.  Husbands: I encourage you to "catch" my husband's heart. That's what's so attractive. That spirit is what encourages me to be generous in the ways my husband desires.  If you want more insight, on how to introduce your wife to my material, I have a special FREE Advice for Men To Invite Their Wives training.    Wives: If you're a wife and want to get access to a FREE training called Seductive C...

268-What Seduction Means. Interview with My Husband, Part 1

Hi there,    Today is extra special because I have on the most amazing man I've ever met. Ehemm... my husband. :) If you want to know why I am the way I am (well, regarding the generous things in intimacy), it's because this gentleman loved me really, really well and continues to every day.   It's not necessarily intuitive, but it is God's way.   This conversation will be instructive for wives -- who feel insecure and challenged by seduction -- and husbands -- who want to be pu...

267-Why Seduction Matters

As a wife, this is something I really struggled with.   Why would he want me to do such embarrassing things? Does it remind him of sin? I don't want to be associated with his past. Also, it's not my personality.  And in general, I'm not comfortable.    I had SO many more hang-ups around this.    But, one thing kept knawing at me. Why is this all over our society?   Specifically seduction. Yes, the act is in certain movies and x-rated things that I don't watch. But seducti...

000-Start Here: An Introduction to Delight Your Marriage

If you're new to Delight Your Marriage, this is the first episode you should listen to.   Many people come to my resources with a question on how to make their marriage better but they really don't know where to start.    This is a rundown on the most important philosophical underpinnings of Delight Your Marriage.   This gives the best introduction to the foundational principles that I use with people from all over the world--by God's grace--to transform their marriages and famil...