Kagro in the Morning

Kagro in the Morning - December 1, 2023

David Waldman picked up a new Advent calendar to help keep track of his Hallmark movies this season. We’ll make a secret Santanist out of him yet! Speaking of Christians, Florida Gop Chair Christian Ziegler, and his wife, Moms for Liberty co-founder Bridget Ziegler... like another woman very, very much, but Christian seems to also like raping, and being mean, which makes everyone sad and angry. The Zieglers and probably their (Formally?) really good friend don’t like children reading about...

Kagro in the Morning - November 30, 2023

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin pay their respects to, well, they’ll think of something nice to say for two hours. Donald Trump will be 100 years old midway through 2046... A lot of people did get very old waiting for Henry Kissinger to finally die, although he did give obit writers extra time to think up something positve. George Santos wants the haters to know that he still has a lot of life left in his career. Santos is probably lying, but he does have at least until Friday for his exp...

Kagro in the Morning - November 29, 2023

It is the middle of the week on KITM. David Waldman is just getting into his holiday cold. Greg Dworkin is just getting out of his. George Santos says he doesn’t care about being expelled. (He’s lying.) Many in Congress have reasons why they can’t expel Santos. (They’re lying.) No lie, George will be in the history books. The House is reaching the conclusion of their Biden impeachment “inquiry”… they just haven’t “announced” it yet. Hunter Biden wants all of this in public view. David po...

Kagro in the Morning - November 28, 2023

It’s Giving Tuesday today. Remember, money won’t bring you happiness, but only pennies a day can help David Waldman become quite cheerful. Won’t you help? Joan McCarter was unable to pop in today, but don’t worry, the government is still going to hell. Donald Trump hopes to use the insurrection act to send the military into cities in order to quell Democrats and democracy. Presidents don’t usually want to be the guy who sent tanks rolling down Main Street. Of course, Donald has always wa...

Kagro in the Morning - November 27, 2023

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin are back with a special post- and pre-holiday KITM Cybercast: Why are we spending time figuring out what to do with leftovers, when we really need to start trading recipes and begin eating the rich? Because now it’s a who eats who first world, and the super-rich are lining up at the head of the chow line. Was Donald Trump selling pardons because he needed the money, or was he investing in his future? One joy money can’t buy is watching Republicans eat each ...

Kagro in the Morning - November 24, 2023

David Waldman isn’t about to let us go into this weekend uninformed, even if today is in the middle of that weekend. When holiday shopping don’t… Actually, never, ever trust a Republican to save you money. Thanksgiving, the Fourth of July, Halloween, Talk Like a Pirate Day, are all holidays to be concerned about having an AR-15 aimed at you. The recent Louisville bank mass shooter shot people to show how easy it was for someone like him to shoot people. Some guy killed a guy for blocking...

Kagro in the Morning - November 23, 2023

Happy T-Day! We did it live, despite it all, because we had to bring you the BREAKING NEWS… that wingnuts were freaked out about some people who went to a KISS concert and crashed their car! Then, it was on to our favorite trend: newspapers becoming willing to print that Trump is crazy. Also worth noting: other politicians in the world are similarly crazy, and are said to have “won elective office.” Today in Every Republican Accusation is a Confession™ news: Harlan Crow’s brother is a ...

Kagro in the Morning - November 22, 2023

Happy Food Prep Day! David Waldman and Greg Dworkin lay down their spatulas to dish up some news. Everyone should be thankful that Fox News isn’t in charge of their Thanksgiving budget.  Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade promises to be a Nonbinary and Transgender Extravaganza — plus featured guests Bell Biv DeVoe, Brandy, U.S. Olympic silver medalist Jordan Chiles and the legendary Radio City Rockettes! The giant Stephen Miller balloon has been cancelled, however. Steve KG Bannon says, No...

Kagro in the Morning - November 21, 2023

The crew here at KITM World Headquarters has been working hard to look busy as we head into our mid-week holiday. Good thing Joan McCarter is here to distract David Waldman with the latest DC news. Israel and Hamas indicate they are heading towards a deal. Of course, one person’s ceasefire might be another’s unconditional surrender. Even inside Israel, someone willing to do anything to rescue a family member can be seen as a traitor to their country. As Donald Trump becomes worse, so d...

Kagro in the Morning - November 20, 2023

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin pull up a microphone and set a spell, thawing out their Butterballs and relating the latest in news and punditry.  Burned-out short-sighted voters chose to burn it all down with a wild-haired idiot demagogue, this time in Argentina. Javier Milei is advised by God through the clones of his dogs. (At least that’s what he says.)  Javier might be nuts… Or, he could be a pro-wrestling style charlatan. The one thing that Javier Milei is NOT is “unexpected”. Back ...

Kagro in the Morning - November 17, 2023

As he did yesterday for today David Waldman preps us today for tomorrow. We’ll make do for Sunday. TikTok influencer Osama Bin Laden went viral this week with a pretty on-brand “Letter to America”. Does this mean that our youths now think it’s “cool” and “hip” to be antisemitic terrorists?  No, it does not. Unfortunately, it might start a couple on that path, as the most susceptible follow their ignorant bliss/rage down an exponentially reinforcing algorithm echo chamber, passed to them...

Kagro in the Morning - November 16, 2023

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin are here with another KITM. No one can explain exactly why they do it, but it works really well for the rest of us.  If you see ghost busses in your neighborhood, who you gonna call...Clay Higgins? That's what happens when you elect online trolls to Congress. Chip Roy looked at the Republican party and finds nothing of interest. Marjorie Traitor Greene looked at Republican crotches and has come to a similar conclusion. They could be right. When the going got ...

Kagro in the Morning - November 15, 2023

Greg Dworkin was back today, and as usual, he had a whole slew of stories to share. There was, of course, TFG’s descent into the darkest fascistic rhetoric (reminiscent of Mussolini more so than Hitler, ackshully), all in service of Stephen Miller’s evil immigration fantasies and his own greedy desire for power without restraint. Critics say this may not be wonderful. And if that’s not bad enough, he also continues to dare the judges in his cases to rein him in. Polls! Who needs ‘em? Well,...

Kagro in the Morning - November 14, 2023

It’s Tuesday, time for David Waldman to welcome Joan McCarter to KITM. Also about time for a government shutdown, an almost as regular occurrence.  MAGA Mike Johnson’s plan to avoid shutdown is generally less awful than it is awful to MAGA, and it sure beats a shutdown, so Democrats will probably get it done for him. The House Gops are even pulling back on their Mayorkas impeachment stunt, for now. Or, at least they pulled Marjorie Traitor Greene off it for a moment.  The Supreme Court...

Kagro in the Morning - November 13, 2023

David Waldman has wanted to tell you so many things over this weekend! Luckily, he has a podcast.  Greg Dworkin remains on assignment in an undisclosed location. But had he’d been here today he would have beseeched us to discuss Donald Trump’s recent, past, and continuous wackadoodletry. On veteran’s day, Commander Bone Spurs served up plans for mass deportation, Muslim bans, concentration camps and freedom cities, the usual stuff, but added an extra helping of grated Mussolini on top, b...

Kagro in the Morning - November 10, 2023

We’ve been busy since Tuesday parsing the polls and combing over the data, but now it’s time to groove on the vibes of the election. And basically, it’s this: Everybody is sick of these wackadoodle idiots. (So sick, in fact, that even where there are elected seats all but reserved for Republicans, they still can’t win them.) The wackadoodle idiots, of course, have learned nothing whatsoever, though their consultants think they have. But those guys are just egghead coastal elites! So, le...

Kagro in the Morning - November 9, 2023

It’s Thursday on KITM, and David Waldman and Greg Dworkin aren’t even the least bit sick of winning. Democrats are still tallying up their wins from Tuesday, right down to the small towns, local elections and school board races. It is, however, hard to separate the Dem’s big wins from the Gop’s devastating losses. Republicans are reaping a horrible ROI on their culture war. Glenn Youngkin now has a warehouse full of red fleece vests that he doesn’t know what to do with. (He might be able t...

Kagro in the Morning - November 8, 2023

The collective sigh of relief here at KITM World Headquarters probably delayed our first local snowfall by weeks. Host David Waldman and Guest Star Greg Dworkin are here today to do whatever the opposite is of “fret” … (We might not have a word for that.)   We won. That is, we the people of the United States who care about democracy and what not. Dems romped, Gops flopped, pretty much everywhere, notably in Ohio, as voters knew Republican gaslighting by heart after seeing it being used t...

Kagro in the Morning - November 7, 2023

If you listen to this show, or read these summaries, you want to vote today. You don’t need David Waldman and Joan McCarter to explain why.  (We’d be happy to, though. We kind of live for this stuff.) You don’t want Republicans to take over, or for the United States to become the next Israel, do you? The present bunch of Gops are already bad enough. The government continues to teeter on the edge of their fiscal cliff while MAGA Mike’s funding ladder to nowhere hangs out over the abyss. Per...

Kagro in the Morning - November 6, 2023

ELECTION DAY!  ...Is tomorrow. It is, however, the day that we will be talking about today, and tomorrow, and at least for a year to come. David Waldman and Greg Dworkin can barely talk about today, because tomorrow is just all that. Tomorrow is all that important, and yet a poll has got everyone’s mind on the next election. Yes, Joe Biden is in trouble, and yet Joe Biden knows what he’s doing,,, BUT! What can Biden do? Tomorrow’s election hasn’t even happened, but those pundits sure know ...

Kagro in the Morning - November 3, 2023

David Waldman hopes to beat the rush and start saving daylight later this afternoon, but first made sure to get today’s KITM out on time.   It’s simple. Mike Johnson is a moral Christian. And if you aren’t Christian, you aren’t moral, and you just wouldn’t “get” what he and supporters need to get done in the United States. Mike’s covenant wife Kelly can counsel you on the five ways that you are naturally inferior while work is being done to codify your status. Kelly could professor at Tr...

Kagro in the Morning - November 2, 2023

David Waldman wishes us a soulful All Souls Day, also known as… erm, Eastern Orthodox “Saturday of Souls”… Greg Dworkin has no holiday plans other than hanging out with us this morning. Not that there’s nothing to celebrate. Unions are back in a big way with the U.A.W. scoring huge wins for regular workers and a huge defeat for faux-populist demagogues.  The House finds it isn’t so easy to scrape George Santos off their shoe, and they’re stuck with Miss Congeniality, Marjorie Traitor Gre...

Kagro in the Morning - November 1, 2023

First of the month, middle of the week, and David Waldman is here to explain how that happened, and more! Greg Dworkin flipped over his calendar page and noticed that election day is next week. The prognostication out there is foggier than usual, but it looks as if Democrats are doing well.  Dems have two big governor races in Trump states, tough but doable. Kyrsten Sinema is at a distant third, but at least she seems to be taking Kari Lake votes. Democrats want to see Joe Biden give ‘...

Kagro in the Morning - October 31, 2023

Horrors! David Will-o'-the-Wisp Waldman, dressed as “MAGA Mike” and Joan Macabre McCarter as a “Looming Government Shutdown”, scare the bejeebers out of us for two hours. Mike Johnson is going full MAGA on Democrats, but also Senate Republicans and Ukraine with his Israel funding bill. After picking up a Bible, Mike realized the ONE THING that has caused all of the evil and suffering in the world and… could it be… Satan? Nope, it’s actually all due to women who won’t listen to their husban...

Kagro in the Morning - October 30, 2023

Boo! David “Cobweb” Waldman and Greg “Disconcerting” Dworkin treat us with a Halloween Eve KITM Special. Be safe! How hard can it be? Want to talk scary? Let’s talk Mike Johnson. The thing is, nothing scares Mike Johnson. Ask Johnson any question you want, and between the Lord and the law, Mike can find the answer he needs and make it fit. Ken Buck likes Mike’s law answers, Mike’s mom and WaPo like his Lord answers. How long will MAGA and Republicans like Johnson’s answers? Who knows, but ...

Kagro in the Morning - October 27, 2023

Today David Waldman serves up your KITM Friday Special, fresh out of our news fryolator.  Mike Johnson might not be the “unity candidate” most would have come up with, but considering his dogmatism, election denialism, misogynism, authoritarianism, provincialism, fanaticism and mass shooter boosterism, Mike maintains a comprehensive appreciation of Republicanism. Some of Mike’s best friends might not be Black, but his son, who was born less than 10 years after his wife, is.  Mike sends h...

Kagro in the Morning - October 26, 2023

Here we go again. Let’s join David Waldman, Greg Dworkin and the whole KITM gang under a cloud of another mass shooting. 18 dead so far, as the shooter is still a well-regulated militia out there somewhere. Dude seems to have plenty of personal demons. Some were handed to him, most he hooked up with on his own. Tucker Carlson has been looking for him for years, but may have missed his chance for an interview. David held his first in a series of debates with wannabe podcasting kingpin Mik...

Kagro in the Morning - October 25, 2023

The Wednesday KITM can’t come soon enough today. Coast to Coast, people are demanding to know, “Who is Tom Emmer?” and “Does Tom have what it takes to pull this nation out of...” Wait… Wait. The KITM control room is contacting me to say… David Waldman and Greg Dworkin will now address the turmoil that Democrats have caused through their insensitive attitudes for their brother’s and sister’s plight... For now, the Republican House Speaker nominee will be held by a generic MAGA placeholder...

Kagro in the Morning - October 24, 2023

Kagro in the Morning - October 23, 2023

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin present Monday’s KITM, free of any beat sweeteners, containing only their naturally occurring sugars. Jim Jordan reminds some people of a wrestler. The kind of wrestler who looked the other way when fellow wrestlers were victimized. The kind of wrestler who insurrected against the United States in 2020. But not the kind of wrestler that anyone would elect as Speaker of the House. Ruptured rudderless Republicans sure could use a leader, or even some followers ...

Kagro in the Morning - October 20, 2023

Is there a doctor Speaker in the House? Nope! Not yet. And it doesn’t look like they want to let the Acting Jerk Pro Tem take care of business for them, either. There’s certainly less appetite for Gym Jordan than ever before, too. Maybe because his people are deplorable. Meanwhile, The Current Guy was taking care of business, with what was by most reports a real humdinger of an Oval Office address. That’s no malarkey! But that’s not to say there isn’t any malarkey to be found. As we he...

Kagro in the Morning - October 19, 2023

Don’t be concerned, the Virginia/DC area is still standing this morning. That was just David Waldman and Greg Dworkin’s “Hey, Where Did the Last Half Hour Go?” KITM Special’s special ending. That missing show segment would have gotten more done than DC at the moment. The only ones who can stand the job ruptured rudderless Republicans are doing are Republicans, and what do they know? Jim Jordan is sent back to the lockers, after losing the House Speaker vote that no one ever believed that...

Kagro in the Morning - October 18, 2023

Isn’t it time for Jim Jordan to just throw in the towel and hit the showers? Well... not in so many words. But that’s why we have David Waldman and Greg Dworkin. David and Greg do have so many words, which they have deftly laid end to end to create today’s KITM. Sean Hannity insists that Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez somehow had the power to frighten Republicans away from voting for Jim Jordan as House Speaker, but maybe the real reason is that moderate Republicans can only squish so far befo...

Kagro in the Morning - October 17, 2023

Today on KITM, David Waldman andJoan McCarter count down the days until the government shutdown, which if Jim Jordan gets to be House Speaker will be assured, if we make it that far. Ruptured, rudderless Republicans don’t really want to go with Jordan, but that seems to be the direction that they are heading. (With their hearts and minds in tow, of course.) Gym isn’t the guy Republicans want. He isn’t the guy they need. He might not even be the one they get. But they shouldn’t expect Democ...

Kagro in the Morning - October 16, 2023

David Waldman soothes our post-Friday-the-13th jitters with his elixir of useful information. Greg Dworkin is also here with the pundits and polls, though not just any poles, but Pole polls. Opposition leader Donald Tusk... no, you read that right, Donald Tusk has declared victory in Poland, which is a defeat for Law and Justice, but a victory for the Gay Empire, women, and most everybody else. The Hamas attacks on Israel might finally, finally, finally shake Bibi Netanyahu’s authorita...

Kagro in the Morning - October 13, 2023

David Waldman embeds his machete of veracity into the forehead of falsity on today’s special KITM. Fascists are supposed to run their trains on time, but the MAGA crazy train crashed before it could even depart from dysfunction junction. The Gop’s hand-picked fascist Steve Scalice bailed out of the House Speaker race once he realized that his 113 votes could never beat Jim Jordan’s 99.  With Jim Jordan on his own, the speaker position is now Gym’s to lose. But what would be the chaotic fu...

Kagro in the Morning - October 12, 2023

It’s finally here! David Waldman and Greg Dworkin present our Septennial KITM October-Friday-the-13th-Eve Special! Republicans are still in rupture, eliminating much of their capacity for cruelty and fatuity. Therefore, in order to return to a more efficacious ineptitude, they chose Steve Scalice as a speaker nominee. However, being who they are, they couldn’t resist kneecapping Scalice out of the gate. Being who he is isn’t exactly helping Steve “David Duke” Scalice either. Radical White ...

Kagro in the Morning - October 11, 2023

Greg Dworkin came by to let us know that there’s no indication that House Republicans intend to rise to the occasion of the international crisis situation any time soon. But we already knew that. The order of the day, though, was for them to decide along what path they would f@#k things up next. And at least one outside group with a deep interest in the race to succeed McCarthy is speaking up, to say no to Gym Jordan. Oh, and also, Nancy Mace wanted to make sure you were looking at her. ...

Kagro in the Morning - October 10, 2023

It’s Tuesday on KITM and whether you want it or not (and you want it) David Waldman and Joan McCarter are here to present the latest in news and opinion. Horrible things have been happening in Israel and Palestine, for Israelis and Palestinians, for quite some time now. But in the fog of war, where can you turn for valid, accurate information when even your favorite porn stars can’t be trusted? WELL NOT TWITTER. It’s no longer ethical nor sensible to share tweets anymore. Also, all the c...

Kagro in the Morning - October 9, 2023

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin would have brought us a great Indigenous Peoples' Day show today if only the world were just a better place. Israel was just minding its own business when it should have been minding the parapets and came under lethal assault by Hamas. A devastating attack, and a seeming surprise to the world’s most threatened nation. Thousands have been killed in horrific attacks and kidnappings. Thousands more will follow as Israel blows Palestine rubble to smithereens. Ham...

Kagro in the Morning - October 6, 2023

Friday on KITM, David Waldman guides our revolution into the weekend. We know that we are in good hands this weekend, with Senator Patty Murray once again second in the presidential line of succession. House rats are eating each other alive, but a couple might make it to Monday’s Fox News. We already know that Donald Trump has presented his rose to Jim “Gym” Jordan, however. Gym can certainly keep a secret better than cardboard box magnate Anthony Pratt.  Yet, Donald tells Anthony everyt...

Kagro in the Morning - October 5, 2023

Our roll call vote to vacate the chair at KITM World Headquarters was roundly defeated this morning by David Waldman shrewdly bringing in a box of donuts for everybody. Plus, it’s Thursday, so Greg Dworkin is here and has much to tell us about many things. Voters say Kevin McCarthy shouldn’t have been ousted and don’t believe Democrats should have saved him. That pretty much leaves Kevin and the MAGA nimrods at fault for their recent fiasco. McCarthy double-crossed friend and foe alike, th...

Kagro in the Morning - October 4, 2023

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin know best how to handle a slow news day, and ones like today as well. Make a nice cobb salad from that head of lettuce. Republican House Speaker Kevin McCarthy was way more interim than he imagined. Subletting his soul to many, while just subbing for the rest only worked for Kev for a while. Democrats could not trust him, and Donald Trump was bored. So, now the search is on for that elusive bottom from the top replacement. Good luck finding someone that pathe...

Kagro in the Morning - October 3, 2023

If you thought David Waldman addressed all of the news that could possibly have been addressed on Monday, you would be correct. But the thing is, it’s Tuesday now. Our federal government has averted another shutdown and now we all will live happily ever after... Joan McCarter thinks perhaps not, as it is about 45 days, give or take a vacation break or two, before Republicans again have an opportunity to drag us off the cliff. Next time we might not have Kevin McCarthy to kick around anymor...

Kagro in the Morning - October 2, 2023

Today, David “Sweet Potato” Waldman and Greg “Pumpkin Seed” Dworkin deliver a KITM cornucopia overflowing with news, punditry and leaf-blower roar. Well, the United States is still here today. Even Kevin McCarthy is here for a while as the Nutjob Caucus hasn’t yet worked out a deal with Democrats to oust him. Of course, McCarthy wouldn’t still be here without Democratic benevolence. Republicans really cannot destroy this Republic on their own, because they are too busy destroying themselve...

Kagro in the Morning - September 29, 2023

David Waldman is envious of the old Daily Show schedule. At least he’s not aiming for Rachel Maddow’s “any Monday that isn’t a holiday” timetable. Anyhow, we aren’t giving him either, he still has to come in on Fridays. Ace KITM Correspondent Rosalyn MacGregor reports on the continuing far-right takeover of Ottawa County, Michigan. They are battling COVID restrictions by cutting out half of the county health department budget. Senator Dianne Feinstein has died at 90. Feinstein, the longe...

Kagro in the Morning - September 28, 2023

* Today, David Waldman and Greg Dworkin combine their talents to make Thursday everything you’d hope it to be, for two hours. TFFG is out of business, and all because of years and years of bank and insurance fraud. But isn’t that the art of the deal? Aren’t we all guilty of sometimes scoring a couple of billion dollars when no one is looking? Donald Trump, dishonest in all ways, will just have to take his dishonesty elsewhere. Yesterday Trump went to Michigan, gave some non-union members...

Kagro in the Morning - September 27, 2023

On today’s KITM, David Waldman welcomes back Greg Dworkin who was out yesterday for Eastern Orthodox Yom Kippur. All in all, yesterday was a good day for the left… although maybe not for some Obama right-wingers. Surprise! A judge has ruled that TFFG committed fraud for years. Wouldn’t it have been weird if Donald Trump had left that single facet of his life uncorrupted? And wouldn’t it have been shocking had Donald accepted the blame this one time? Those multiple federal felony indictme...

Kagro in the Morning - September 26, 2023

David Waldman is back, recovering from modest low blood sugar and seriously deep thoughts. Lee Greenwood never wrote a song about it, but the day remains significant. If only David could have gotten his old boss Bob to contemplate his moral course, things might have been different. When Republicans want to misbehave, they head down the path to Bohemian Grove. Clarence Thomas traveled many times to the bucolic retreat to share many tips with billionaires... and no tips with waitstaff. You...

Kagro in the Morning "Encore Performance" - October 5, 2022, airing September 25, 2023

It's the Day of Atonement, so I pre-recorded a show! But I did it last year, which means it's now a re-run. There was no time for a new one this year, since I had weekend guests. But the show from as close to a year ago as possible, the September 26, 2022 show, was actually a pre-recorded Rosh Hashanah show! October 5, 2022 was the pre-recorded Yom Kippur show. So we're bringing you the Oct. 5th show, so you don't get confused. Get it? The Eastern Orthodox are finally off the hook for ...