Church of Lazlo Podcasts

Accidental Email

Thanks for staying tuned. No, we will not.

Bonuses

MGM gave all of their employees a $5k bonus. Will we get the same? Stay tuned!

Wednesday, 05.11.22

Is it okay to email people in your company and ask them to contribute to a fundraiser? The jury is still out but I wouldn't recommend sending that email if you work with Lazlo. *Don't swim in the pool bar unless you're just there to take a p**s. *Robbers are giving tips on how to not get robbed. If only there was a metaphor that pertained to this type of thing. *Doomscrolling!!! Say goodbye to iPods and hello to commercials on Netflix. The west coast could use a little rain. A man died from a...

Robbers

Robbers explain how to not get robbed. I mean, if you're looking for advice on how to not get robbed, there's really no one better to listen to, right?

My Goose Is Cooked

Are pools gross? And Slimfast proves once again why he's the weirdest guy alive

Selling Stuff at Work

Day 3 of dealing with the hottest temperature ever recorded on planet earth and isn't it annoying when people try and sell their kids shit at work?

Tuesday, 05.10.22

Another scorcher of a program today! It's times like these when we really start to dwell on the fact that none of us have any skills. There are three grown men sitting here today and not one of us knows how to accomplish any task or complete any project. We should work on that. *Nick Wright is on the program! He's having a no good very bad day and he's turned to us for distraction. He's also sent us gifts! We could not be more excited about these gifts!! *Doomscrolling!! The fugitive chase is...

Daughters Car

Some guy and his daughter are getting crap online for the car he bought her for her birthday. Slimfast and Lazlo ain't having it

Secret Songs

Did you know these hit songs were actually about other celebrities? We didn't either

It's So Hot

It's so god damn hot out and in the studio

Monday, 05.09.22

Yo! Welcome back. How was your weekend? It's a million degrees in the studio which is great because we welcome back an old friend to fill in for Julia while she's out doing important radio stuff like Ryan Seacrest.

Mumford Guy

Remember when the banjo player from Mumford and Sons was cancelled and had to leave the band? That's okay, most people don't Well he's back and is opening up about all that.

15 Questions

15 things you should know about your significant other within 6 months of dating

Slim's Encoutner

Slimfast had an encounter with one of our listeners and wanted to use this opportunity to tell you about how great he is

Friday, 05.06.22

Yo! Happy Friday!! Did anyone else see this talk on Twitter about the monster drawing? This dad claims his kid drew a picture of a monster in class and the teacher ripped it up and threw it away. Dad ain't happy. We've got questions. Snowcone is now tasked with finding this guy and getting him on the show. *Buzzfeed apologized for their Kim K coverage concerning her recent weight loss. They want to make sure everyone knows the risks associated with rapid weight loss and they don't want anyone...

Catfished

So get this: A teacher sends a sexually explicit video to some of his students and his students are the ones who get in trouble. Crazy, right? 

Buzzfeed Apologizes

There's been a lot of discussion about the dress Kim Kardashian wore to the Met Gala and Buzfeed apologized today for their remarks about it

Monster Drawing

A father is mad after his daughters drawing of a monster was destroyed by the school. The responses online are mixed and we find it surprising. How would you react if this was your child

Thursday, 05.05.22

It's Thursday and we're all here. Lets get this thing started!

The Met Gala

What the hell is The Met Gala? And what even happens inside after the red carpet?

Lazlo's Advice

A listener messaged us and wanted Lazlo's advice on how to handle a romantic problem he is having with his wife. Would you like to get Lazlo's advice on something? Message us on Twitter or Instagram and give us a follow while you're there @churchoflazlo

Slang Terms

Today's slang terms and their baby boomer counter parts

The South Will Rise Again

Lazlo thinks Lincoln was wrong and we should just let the south secede after the passing of a bill in Louisiana

Wednesday, 05.04.22

Who knew Snowcone loved Pat Benatar so much? If anyone has a problem with Eminem being in the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame, feel free to cry about it on Twitter. *If someone cuts in front of you in a long line at Costco, what do you do? *Doomscrolling!! Someone tackled Dave Chappelle onstage. The supreme court is very hurt that someone invaded their privacy. Police are still looking for the escaped convict and his corrections officer girlfriend. Could Brittney Griner be headed home soon? Amber He...

Are You Cheap

Slimfast has a list of questions to determine whether you are cheap or not. How did you do?

What Would You Do

Rock & Roll HOF

Some of the inductees in the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame are upsetting people

Tuesday, 05.03.22

Another day, another dollar. Lazlo refused to accompany Slimfast to a concert last night. Julia's got the sweats but she gets her ten-day coin this afternoon. *Snowcone is a-rockin' & and a-rollin' and while drinking his favorite flavor White Claw at the sports with Lazlo. *A man's penis suddenly dropped off his body after a blood infection. The miracles of modern science allowed him to grow a new todger on his forearm for six years before doctors finally attached it to its' final resting spo...

Favorite Old People

With Stan Lee and Betty White gone, who is now everyone's favorite old person? Who you got?

It's Not Hostess, It's Paraphimosis

A man with a penis on his arm. Yep, that's it.

Rockin And a Rollin

Julia wants to know where 'rockin and a rollin' came from

Concert Recap

Slimfast went to a Brian Jonestown Massacre concert last night and gives us a recap of the show

Monday, 05.02.22

Yo! Julia is back but why is she sweating? *Would you pay $75,000 for heightening surgery? A lot of men are starting to do it because they're tired of being the shortest guy in the room but it's expensive and takes time. *Doomscrolling!! A corrections officer is wanted for helping an inmate escape prison. The price of everything is too damn high. A Tennessee family discovers they are being tracked at Disney World with an Airpod. If a peddle pub crashes and everyone was peddling, who gets char...

Most Hated Musicians

We discuss the most hated musicians as voted on by the people. Who's on your list?

Julia's Drinking Problem

Wait, does Julia have a drinking problem? She was out sick basically all of last week...

Weekend Recap

Welcome back! Hope you had a great weekend

Friday, 04.29.22

YO!!! It's Friday and we're feeling loose! Julia is out today so it's just the morons. *What do guys do after a breakup? How do they feel? People say it's hard to know because men are less likely to open up about it. Well, they opened up on the internet and we want to get Lazlo's take. Are these internet guys a good representation of all men? *Doomscrolling!! A coyote attacked a girl on the beach in southern California last night and she had to be taken to the hospital. American tourists did ...

Roomates From Hell

Who was your worst roommate and what did they do? Were you the worst roommate?

Dress Code

I just wanna say thank god we don't have a dress code for this job

How Mean Deal With Breakups Pt 2

How Men Deal With Breakups

Thursday, 04.28.22

Happy Super Hero Day! America's favorite superhero is not Lazlo but could he take the title of America's hottest dad? Find out today! *It's storytime! This is the part of the show where we turn to our subreddit (r/churchoflazlo) and check out the most requested stories. Find out why Lazlo always says "find your heron" and Snowcone tells us the pennies from space camp story. *Doomscrolling!! The United States managed to get one American sent home after being held in a Russian prison but what a...

Wednesday, 04.27.22

We all know Lazlo got hit in the head with a coke bottle when he was a teenager. The question is, what caused Lazlo's dad to resort to such unspeakable violence? At what age did your parents hate you the most? *What is the most expensive rock song to license for a movie? *Doomscrolling!! Delta announces changes to how they pay their flight attendants. A little league baseball game in South Carolina turned into a shooting gallery. Twitter announces massive user fluctuations after news of the E...

Movie Syncs

How much does it cost to play a certain song in a movie?

Fighting With Parents

Tuesday, 04.26.22

This doesn't happen often but some ladies are texting in telling us how much they love Slimfast. They say they're having drinks on the beach in Florida and refer to themselves as "Slimfast OG Girl Gang". It only takes Lazlo a few minutes to reveal who's authoring these texts and that's when things get hot and heavy. *Thinking about getting married? Make sure you've answered all these questions before taking those sacred vows. Also, are you sure you want to get married? *Doomscrolling!! People...

Monday, 04.25.22

Yo! Bots beware! Looks like Elon just took over Twitter. People seem to have strong feelings about this news, one way or the other. I do not. *Have your kids suddenly been asking you to purchase them packets of Crystal Light powder? If you answered yes, it's already too late for them. *Do we now know why people complained about Bill Murray on the set of his new movie? Sounds like he was pulling ponytails and touching shoulders. *Doomscrolling!! Disney vs Florida is just getting started and th...

Reruns

Ever wondered how much actors get paid for reruns? Well we've got some answers for you

Three Words

If you could go back in time and tell your 13-year-old self three words, what would they be?

Crystal Light

A new trend sweeping the nations schools? Meh, probably not. Kids are supposedly trying to get high off crystal light.