Porn, Betrayal, Sex and the Experts — PBSE
265 episodes - English - Latest episode: 10 days ago - ★★★★★ - 126 ratingsTwo sex addicts in long-term successful recovery are ALSO world-class mental health professionals who specialize in porn and sex addiction recovery. Drawing on 40 years of combined personal and professional experience, Mark and Steve get RAW and REAL about HOW to overcome addiction, heal betrayal trauma and save your marriage. If you're struggling with addiction—we get it. Recovery is hard. We've been there. We'll help you take the fight to your addiction like never before. If you're married to an addict—we KNOW what it's like to nearly destroy a marriage! We'll help you understand the world of your husband's addiction and begin healing your betrayal trauma, regardless of what he decides to do. You don't have to stay stuck. You don't have to keep suffering. We've made all the mistakes so you don't have to. Take back your life. Take back your marriage. Let's do this together! This is the PBSE podcast.
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Episodes
Two Former Porn Addicts—"If I Could Go Back in Time, WHAT Would I DO different?"
April 13, 2020 19:00 - 43 minutes - 29.6 MBMark and Steve get VERY raw and real about the struggles during their deep addiction years. Knowing what they know now—if they could go back in time, WHAT would they do different? Be open, honest and seek help WAY sooner vs. staying stuck in shame and secrecy! Face the PAIN and REAL underlying issues vs. believing it was all about the porn! Be open about the real possibility of being able to break free vs. buying into the lie that "I'll never actually be totally free from this!" Be will...
Here's EXACTLY HOW to Use the "Surrender Tool" as an Addict, Spouse and Citizen
April 07, 2020 22:00 - 33 minutes - 22.8 MBIn this episode, Mark and Steve walk you through three REAL LIFE examples of HOW to use the "Surrender Tool" in times of overwhelming emotions like fear, lust, anger, resentment, betrayal and more. Learn how to go from "Me" to "We" and WIN through Surrender! Visit the PBSE website at: pbsepodcast.com Find out more about Steve Moore at: Ascension Counseling Learn more about Mark Kastleman at: Reclaim Counseling Services To learn more about HOW to use Surrender and other tools to Ov...
How to Practice the Essential "Art of Surrender" in a Scary World!
March 30, 2020 19:00 - 46 minutes - 32.3 MBOur natural tendency in addiction, betrayal trauma and current scary world events is to attempt to INCREASE the CONTROL we have over our lives! This is exactly the OPPOSITE of what we truly need in recovery and in life. In this episode, Mark and Steve talk raw and real about exactly HOW to "SURRENDER" trying to control things when you feel the most out-of-control! Although it sounds like a total contradiction of oxymoron—the BEST way for you and those you love to succeed, connect and WIN...
How to Get Out of Your "Coronavirus Brain" and TAKE CHARGE!
March 23, 2020 22:00 - 48 minutes - 33.2 MBRight now a lot of people across the world are feeling pretty "powerless"! But, those of us who have suffered from addiction, betrayal trauma and other significant trials—WE actually possess the raw experience, resilience, knowledge and tools to STEP UP and STEP INTO the role of "Servant Leaders." In this episode, you'll learn how to GET OUT of your "Coronavirus Brain" and TAKE CHARGE! YOU are NOT your brain! Become a "Forceful Stage Director" and help others do the same. There are more ...
Managing Your Emotions & Triggers in These Trying Times!
March 17, 2020 03:00 - 46 minutes - 32.2 MBDuring times of HIGH emotional stress, like the COVID 19 pandemic, "triggers" go up for the population as a whole, and especially for those dealing with addiction! The HIGH STRESS can impact us in many ways— Financial fear and instability Increased feelings of anxiety and depression--both individually and socially Feeling a lack of emotional safety and stabilitiy Increased strain on relationships; more time together (which can be good and bad); increased strain on parents Spiritual stre...
Are My Sexual Behaviors a Problem?
March 09, 2020 23:00 - 40 minutes - 28.1 MBWhen it comes to sexual behaviors, we live in a world where there is a very broad spectrum about what people consider to be "healthy" and "not healthy." In this podcast, Mark and Steve talk raw and real about their personal experience with this and working with men across the globe. You'll learn Can "sex" become an addiction? What are the levels on the path to sex addiction— - Curiosity - Recreation - Self-soothing - Obsession - Compulsion - Addiction There are MANY ways to "act o...
Unraveling the BIG Mystery of Porn Addiction—"Why do I keep going back to it?!"
March 03, 2020 04:00 - 46 minutes - 32.1 MBEveryone who gets trapped in porn addiction struggles with the "big mystery"--why do I keep going back to this crap? Why can't I just say 'NO!' once and for all?" The reason is that pornography radically changes the brain. In this episode you'll learn: After viewing porn and reaching climax, the viewer often pounds his fist on the table and asks, "What was I thinking?!" The answer—"You weren't AND you COULDN'T!" What is the "Addiction Cycle"?--Initiating Trigger; Preoccupation; Ritualizin...
Battling Through Trauma Together!
February 25, 2020 02:00 - 44 minutes - 30.3 MBTrauma is ALWAYS part of a marriage relationship—either trauma we bring with us from childhood or trauma created while we're married. Either way, trauma can open a chasm of disconnection and conflict between us, or it can bring us close together than ever! It all depends on whether we battle each other or join forces and battle the trauma together. In this podcast, you'll learn the 5 Steps to Connecting in Trauma and Conflict— Sit in One Another's Emotions (fight through being "pain-avers...
Conflict Isn't Bad—Fighting the Real Enemy, NOT Each Other!
February 15, 2020 21:00 - 41 minutes - 28.8 MBMost of were raised to believe that "conflict is bad" and to be avoided at all costs! The truth is, in healthy relationships, conflict should be expected and even encouraged! Conflict doesn't destroy a marriage—it's the way it's handled that does. In this podcast you'll learn: The differences between "conflict" and "contention." How to engage in "Collaborative Conflict" Real connection in a relationship has very little to do with "agreement" Seeking to understand and to be understood i...
What is Betrayal Trauma—Part Three—Setting Sexual Boundaries
February 06, 2020 20:00 - 46 minutes - 32.2 MBIn order for a porn addict to move into "real" recovery, AND a spouse to begin healing her betrayal trauma, as a couple you MUST begin setting BOUNDARIES! Why? Because the MOST connected relationships are those with boundaries. First, there must be boundaries that create "safety" in the relationship. Without safety, intimacy (into-me-you-see) is impossible. Some of the most important boundaries creating safety are SEXUAL BOUNDARIES. Mark and Steve talk raw and real about HOW to set sexu...
What is "Betrayal Trauma"—Part Two
February 04, 2020 02:00 - 44 minutes - 30.4 MBThis episode is for women suffering from betrayal trauma AND their husbands who truly want to understand them. What are the symptoms of Betrayal Trauma? What are the feelings and words in your head and heart? Betrayal Trauma has a massive impact on a woman’s sense of self-worth: · Personal inadequacy (physical, emotional and sexual)—“I’ll never be enough!” · Insecurity—in the marriage and other relationsips · Spiritual damage—“Why would God let this happen.” The “f...
What is "Betrayal Trauma"—Part Two—Symptoms and Healing
February 04, 2020 02:00 - 45 minutes - 31 MBThis episode is for women suffering from betrayal trauma AND their husbands who truly want to understand them. What are the symptoms of Betrayal Trauma? What are the feelings and words in your head and heart? Betrayal Trauma has a massive impact on a woman’s sense of self-worth: · Personal inadequacy (physical, emotional and sexual)—“I’ll never be enough!” · Insecurity—in the marriage and other relationships · Spiritual damage—“Why would God let this happen?” The “...
What is "Betrayal Trauma"—Part One
January 28, 2020 17:00 - 43 minutes - 30.2 MBWhen a spouse finds out about her husband's infidelity through porn use, an affair or other sexual behaviors, a flood of emotions can come rushing in—shock, confusion, anger, fear, inadequacy, anxiety, depression and many more. All of this is part of what is known as "Betrayal Trauma." In this episode, Mark and Steve talk raw and real about Betrayal Trauma— You are NOT going crazy! The roller coaster ride of emotions you're feeling is normal. Whatever you're feeling is OK for you. No one...
Porn—Stress Reliever or Stress Inducer?
January 14, 2020 08:00 - 37 minutes - 25.5 MBA recent article in a popular publication claimed that "porn is the perfect stress reducer." In this episode, Mark and Steve get raw and personal about their experience. In the "short-term" porn is a "drug," an escape and gives a perceived "sense of control" over one's life. Porn gives a temporary feeling of self worth, connection and satisfaction. In the "long-term," after the escape of porn is over, the SAME challenges and stressors return--with a vengeance! Stress increases as feeling...
What is Porn and What is Not? It Might Not Be What You Think!
January 14, 2020 07:00 - 36 minutes - 25.2 MBThere's a big debate about what is pornographic and what is not. In this episode, Mark and Steve talk raw and real about how defining "porn"—it's less about what's being taken in, and more about the impact it's having on the viewer and others. To the brain "meaning" is everything! It's all about your INTENTIONS. Parts vs. People Something to be consumed vs. someone to be valued Emotional isolation and disconnection What to DO: Use mindfulness journaling to assess your levels of fantas...