Porn, Betrayal, Sex and the Experts — PBSE
265 episodes - English - Latest episode: 10 days ago - ★★★★★ - 126 ratingsTwo sex addicts in long-term successful recovery are ALSO world-class mental health professionals who specialize in porn and sex addiction recovery. Drawing on 40 years of combined personal and professional experience, Mark and Steve get RAW and REAL about HOW to overcome addiction, heal betrayal trauma and save your marriage. If you're struggling with addiction—we get it. Recovery is hard. We've been there. We'll help you take the fight to your addiction like never before. If you're married to an addict—we KNOW what it's like to nearly destroy a marriage! We'll help you understand the world of your husband's addiction and begin healing your betrayal trauma, regardless of what he decides to do. You don't have to stay stuck. You don't have to keep suffering. We've made all the mistakes so you don't have to. Take back your life. Take back your marriage. Let's do this together! This is the PBSE podcast.
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Episodes
How can we Connect When My Partner Acts Out and Then Goes to Shame—Silent, Stoic and Self-Absorbed?!
July 11, 2023 12:00 - 30 minutes - 21.2 MBIn Episode 184, Mark and Steve respond to a PBSE listener's situation and question. This is a VERY common situation that MANY partners describe who are struggling under the heavy burden of Betrayal Trauma— "My husband acts out & then completely turns inward about how awful of a person he is & in turn I feel like he pushes me away. How do I as a partner in betrayal react to this? His silence & ignoring me makes me so angry. I know that the opposite of addiction is connection & my husband ha...
“Clearing Away the Wreckage of Your Past"—Recovery Lessons from Steve’s Metal Detecting Trip
July 04, 2023 12:00 - 30 minutes - 21.1 MBAlmost 30 years ago, when PBSE co-founder Steve Moore was 13-years-old, his father was killed in a plane crash. This traumatic event played a big role in Steve developing an addiction to pornography as a young teen. A few weeks ago, Steve traveled to his father's plane crash site to "uncover the wreckage of his past." In this special episode, Steve relates his experience directly to how crucial "uncovering and clearing away the wreckage of your past" is to recovery and healing— - “Scanning...
I Want My Addict Partner to SUFFER; to Feel TERRIBLE like I do! Is that Normal? How Can I Stop this Feeling?!
June 27, 2023 12:00 - 30 minutes - 21 MBIn Episode 182, Mark and Steve respond to a very authentic, vulnerable and VERY direct question from a PBSE listener— "Can you address this question on your podcast? I want my partner to suffer the same hurt as he inflicted on me. I actually want him to feel terrible. Why do I feel this way. How can I stop feeling this way? " - What does "Betrayal Trauma" look like and feel like when you are the partner of a sex/porn addict? - Why does Betrayal Trauma feel "crazy;" create "emotional va...
Evolve from Treating the “Symptoms of Addiction” to a Real & Lasting “Change of Heart & Mind."
June 20, 2023 12:00 - 28 minutes - 19.4 MBIn episode 180, Mark and Steve address an insightful inquiry from a porn/sex addict seeking a real and lasting change of heart and mind in his recovery. Here's how he describes his situation— "Hello! I am a recovering porn addict, and I have been listening to your podcast for the past six months or so. I have had a CSAT for the past nine months and started going to 12-step meetings around the same time. The recovery process has been hard, but I have begun to finally uncover some of the need...
Should I Pay Off My New Spouse's "Porn Debt" So We Can Have a Solid Financial Start?
June 13, 2023 16:00 - 33 minutes - 22.7 MBWe KNOW this episode title sounds crazy! But, many partners of porn/sex addicts face some hard decisions about where to "draw boundaries" as they try to navigate the relationship moving forward. In this episode, Mark and Steve respond to a PBSE listener's genuine concerns and questions about discovering her new spouse has tens of thousands of dollars of credit card debt as a result of his years of online addiction. She accurately refers to this as "financial infidelity" on top of all the o...
Is There a “Statute of Limitations” on Feelings, Betrayal Trauma and Disclosure?
June 06, 2023 12:00 - 28 minutes - 19.6 MBIn Episode 178, Mark and Steve address an all-too-common situation and question faced and asked by porn/sex addicts in recovery and their partners seeking to heal from betrayal trauma—"Should there be a limit on how long and how many times difficult feelings can be felt, expressed and processed; how long and how many times betrayal trauma can resurface, be confronted and shared; how long before Disclosure cannot be asked for, or additional Disclosures requested? Is there a "statue of limitat...
How do I Stop Comparing Myself to Porn and His Sexual Fantasies?
May 30, 2023 12:00 - 28 minutes - 19.5 MBIn Episode 177, Mark and Steve address a very heart-felt question sent in by a PBSE listener— "My partner recently came clean to me about porn addiction and online disloyalty, as well as checking out my friends. He insists that these other women's appearances have very little to do with his sexual attention towards them, and he wasn't even really attracted to them. He says it was all about the pornographic dynamic he projected onto them. Do you have any episodes that could help me stop comp...
If “Sex is Optional,” How can a Couple Possibly Stay Connected?!
May 23, 2023 12:00 - 25 minutes - 17.2 MBIn this episode Mark and Steve address a super common question—if "sex is optional" in a relationship, then how can a couple possibly stay connected?! This question actually came in recently from a PBSE listener. Here's how she asked it— "Hi, I’ve been binge listening to your podcast for a few days now to try to understand my partner’s addiction. I have been able to take away a ton of great stuff, but I have a question. You often say that sex is optional. I think I understand the sentiment...
How Can We Avoid the Traps and Pitfalls of Addiction Recovery and Betrayal Trauma Healing?
May 16, 2023 12:00 - 25 minutes - 17.3 MBEpisode 175 finds Steve and his wife on vacation on the island of Hilo in Hawaii. Hilo is the site of an actual "active" volcano. While there, they observe that there are limited "solid footpaths" around the volcano and a LOT of areas of "thin crust" where the lava is flowing one or two inches below the surface! The surface "looks" solid, but step on it and BAM! you plunge through the crust and into the molten fire! In this episode, Mark & Steve take the Hilo location and terrain and creat...
What Keeps us Stuck in Addiction and What Does “Real” Recovery Look Like?
May 09, 2023 12:00 - 28 minutes - 19.9 MBThe partners of sex/porn addicts can find it difficult or near impossible to discern whether or not their partner is still "stuck in addiction" or in actual "real recovery." Here's how a PBSE listener describes this frustrating, painful experience— 1 year ago, iIfound my husband of almost 25 years has been addicted to porn our whole marriage and he had racked up tens of thousands in debt that included monthly subscriptions for Viagra, for cam girls and gambling. He has struggled with ED fo...
What Happens When we “Weaponize” What Could be “Healthy Boundaries”?
May 02, 2023 12:00 - 27 minutes - 19 MBHealthy Boundaries are CRITICAL to our individual happiness and authenticity—AND—to our connection as a couple. But when we're not experienced with setting and holding healthy boundaries and/or we've spent our lives "going along to get along," it can be all-too-easy to "weaponize" what could otherwise be healthy boundaries—sabotaging our own authenticity and and connection in our couple-ship. This episode is in response to a situation sent in by a PBSE listener— My husband starting reading...
“Normal Human Attraction” vs. “Toxic/Betraying Lust”?
April 25, 2023 12:00 - 29 minutes - 20 MBIn Episode 172, Mark and Steve tackle a topic that is extremely difficult, triggering and traumatizing for the partners of porn/sex addicts and even for the addicts themselves—the line between "attraction and lust." This episode is in response to a situation and questions submitted by a PBSE listener— Hi Mark and Steve, The PBSE podcast really has been such a Godsend helping inform my husband and I of the possibility of hope and healing. We had our 4th D-day a few months ago, but in some wa...
What can I do about “Random ED Symptoms” in Sexual Intimacy with my Partner?!
April 18, 2023 12:00 - 24 minutes - 16.9 MBErectile Dysfunction (ED) is a VERY common challenge among those struggling with porn/sex addiction AND also common for addicts in recovery. The discussion in Episode 171 is in response to a question from a PBSE listener— Hello, I’m an addict in recovery. I’m in good solid recovery I listen to multiple podcasts a day I go to therapy once a week, im working on an empathy workbook in my free time and trying really hard. I’ve been free from porn for 60 days. Since d day I had one slip up about...
Why are Sexual Boundaries Critical for a truly "Connected Coupleship"?
April 11, 2023 12:00 - 30 minutes - 20.9 MBOnce an addict starts into recovery and his partner begins her journey of healing betrayal trauma, a couple should immediately look at the difficult but essential work of SETTING BOUNDARIES. Why? Because the most connected relationships are BOUNDARIED RELATIONSHIPS! The first priority is to set boundaries that create "safety" in the relationship. Without safety, what every couple desires—intimacy (into-me-you-see)—is not possible. Among the most important boundaries establishing safety are...
As a Partner in Betrayal Trauma, I Feel Resentment Toward my Addict Partner. How do I Manage this?!
April 04, 2023 12:00 - 21 minutes - 14.8 MBIn episode 169, Mark and Steve address a very raw and real scenario and question from the partner of a porn/sex addict. As a partner trying to heal from Betrayal Trauma, she feels a lot of resentment toward her addict partner who is in recovery and she wants to know HOW to process through these very legitimate feelings— Hi! I would love to hear a discussion of the effect of resentment on the partner in recovery. My husband and I have been married for 19 years. D-Day was 15 months ago, and s...
How a lifetime of “Communication Trauma” can prevent “Healthy Connection” in the Here and Now.
March 28, 2023 12:00 - 20 minutes - 13.9 MBWe have all suffered from "communication trauma" in our life experiences! This can too easily get in the way and/or sabotage healthy communication and connection in our current relationships. Here's how a PBSE listener expressed the challenge she is having with her partner who is an addict in recovery— Hi. I was wondering if you could do a podcast on communication. My partner is a recovering sex addict and he has a hard time with communication and working on fixing issues that come up becau...
The “Fallacy of Fairness”—Why I Cannot Stand Up For Myself with my Partner
March 21, 2023 12:00 - 27 minutes - 18.8 MBIn this episode, Mark & Steve address a PBSE listener's question about WHY she has trouble standing her ground, having a voice, speaking her truth and holding boundaries with her porn/sex addict partner. She is suffering from a very common "thinking error" known as the "fallacy of fairness." Too often, we base whether or not we ourselves or our partner has an "equal voice at the table" at where we or they are with regard to our "moral standing;" our "rightness in the relationship;" our pa...
What Does a Formal, Full “Disclosure” Look Like?
March 14, 2023 12:00 - 20 minutes - 13.9 MBIn this episode, Mark and Steve review what is an often mismanaged or overlooked “critical” part of porn/sex addiction recovery and betrayal trauma healing—the “Formal Disclosure Process.” - How NOT to do a disclosure: go-it-alone; “wing it;” engage in “staggered disclosures;” etc. - How to PREPARE for a Disclosure–both the addict and the partner - What the “day of disclosure” looks like - Critical follow-up to the Disclosure—the “Impact Letter” and “Reconciliation/Amends Process”...
W/hat Does a Formal, Full “Disclosure” Look Like?
March 14, 2023 12:00 - 20 minutes - 13.9 MBIn this episode, Mark and Steve review what is an often mismanaged or overlooked “critical” part of porn/sex addiction recovery and betrayal trauma healing—the “Formal Disclosure Process.” - How NOT to do a disclosure: go-it-alone; “wing it;” engage in “staggered disclosures;” etc. - How to PREPARE for a Disclosure–both the addict and the partner - What the “day of disclosure” looks like - Critical follow-up to the Disclosure—the “Impact Letter” and “Reconciliation/Amends Process”...
Having Trouble with “Couples Check-ins”? Give this a Shot.
March 07, 2023 13:00 - 21 minutes - 14.8 MBWhat is a "Couples Check-in" and WHY is it so ESSENTIAL to your relationship success? What are the BARRIERS to the Couples Check-in? How to use the "Core Couples Check-in" format to succeed when all else fails! Learn more about Mark and Steve's revolutionary online porn/sexual addiction recovery and betrayal trauma healing program—"Dare to Connect!" You have live access to Mark and Steve in 3 one-hour sessions every week—addicts, spouses and couples! And live support groups on w...
When it comes to boundaries and consequences in recovery and healing, what is “my side of the street vs. his"?
February 28, 2023 13:00 - 25 minutes - 17.3 MBIn this episode, Mark and Steve address what can often be a confusing topic for couples—when it comes to recovery, healing, boundaries and consequences, what is my side of the street vs. his side of the street? How do I know when I've crossed the line? Here's a question sent in by a PBSE listener about this challenge— Guys, do you have anything to share for those of us unsure of when we should be staying 'on our side of the street'? I'm hearing it but I can't make sense of where the line s...
Is all this “Recovery & Healing Crap” really Worth it? Hope for Couples.
February 21, 2023 13:00 - 24 minutes - 16.9 MBRecovery from Porn/Sex Addiction and healing from Betrayal Trauma are HUGE commitments, take a long time and are HARD work. It can be easy in the early to mid stages of that journey to wonder if success is really possible and if all this "crap" we're going through is really worth it! In this episode, Mark and Steve share their personal experiences and the experiences of working with couples all over the world—there is GREAT HOPE and YES it absolutely is WORTH IT! Learn more about Mark an...
Stop Focusing on your "Addiction Symptoms” and Get to your Core Issues!
February 14, 2023 13:00 - 21 minutes - 15 MBToo often, those struggling with porn/sex addiction focus primarily on their outward addiction behaviors--the "symptoms" of addiction. Many believe, "Once I get sober, I'll be good to go." While sobriety is crucially important, it is NOT "recovery." If an addict is unwilling to look beyond the addiction behaviors to the deep "core issues" driving their unwanted, destructive behaviors, the "symptoms" will just keep coming back. In this episode, Mark & Steve talk about what these "core issue...
Is there any “Good” to be Learned from Sex Addiction Behaviors and Betrayal Trauma?
February 07, 2023 13:00 - 19 minutes - 13.6 MBIn this episode, Mark & Steve respond to a painful situation sent in by a PBSE listener. Her spouse was caught in an affair, which uncovered 6 years of multiple affairs and other sex addiction behaviors. Her addict spouse has been in dedicated recovery for some time now and in that process he has disclosed something that is enormously hard for her to accept. Here's how she describes it— "What he has shared in his recovery journey is that for the first time, within some of his acting out rel...
My Partner has a Slip with Porn and I go Online to See What He was Looking at! How do I Stop this Painful Behavior?
January 31, 2023 13:00 - 18 minutes - 12.7 MBIn this episode, Mark & Steve address a very common "painful" behavior that the partners of porn addicts can often engage in. A PBSE listener sent in a description of her situation: her boyfriend is currently in recovery for porn addiction and making a lot of great progress. Like nearly all addicts in recovery, he still does have occasional slips back into porn use. He shares these openly with her and then she feels compelled to go to the same websites to view what he was looking at. Here's...
If I Don’t Get Angry/Intense When My Partner Slips/Relapses, He Becomes Complacent! How Do I Find a Healthy Balance?
January 24, 2023 13:00 - 21 minutes - 14.7 MBA PBSE listener describes a situation that many partners of addicts face. Here's how she describes it. See if you can relate— My partner has been in recovery for only 3 months now and it was then that I found out about all of the disclosure of his addiction. He has had 2 relapses since then and has been honest about where he is in his recovery. He is in a 12 step program and has expressed that he is struggling with shame, guilt and feeling like a failure. Your podcast is truly helping me re...
What if I Marry an Addict in Recovery and Down the Road He Stops Choosing Recovery? Is there a “Safe Zone” to Prevent This?
January 17, 2023 13:00 - 29 minutes - 20.1 MBThis episode is in response to a situation shared with us by a PBSE listener. She is currently engaged to a guy in his mind twenties who has struggled with porn addiction since age 9 or 10 and other more severe forms of sexual addiction in later years. He IS in active recovery; seeing a therapist; working a program and has 160 days of sobriety—the longest in his life. Here's her questions— My fear is that while he's committed to recovery right now, this might not always be the case, especia...
How do I Forgive Myself after Betraying my Wife for 18 Years?!
January 10, 2023 13:00 - 29 minutes - 20.4 MBHere's a raw, heart-felt submission from a PBSE listener— Hello Mark and Steve, I am a recovering porn addict and the grateful husband of the listener whose question about foreboding joy you answered in episode 107, “How Can I Ever Dare to Trust Him Again?” If you have time, I would be grateful for your insights on the two questions below. I tried to provide context without becoming too long-winded. I really connect with everything in episode 149, “As a Porn/Sex Addict in Recovery, How Do ...
After Our Long Addiction and Betrayal History, We Now Live Like “Married Singles.” How Can We Get the “Chemistry & Spark” Back?
January 03, 2023 13:00 - 30 minutes - 20.7 MBIn this episode, Mark and Steve address a "couple's issue" that is unfortunately all-too-common: In the wake of addiction and betrayal trauma, the relationship grows stale, becomes ambivalent and indifferent—it feels like the spark and chemistry are very low or even gone. Here's how one PBSE listener describes this situation— As a betrayed partner (married 30+ yrs), my concern now is that since my partner has demonstrated first order change I cannot seem to establish a cohesive bond & I d...
Is 2023 already “Ruined” Due to His Destructive Sexual Behaviors over all the other years?!
December 27, 2022 13:00 - 20 minutes - 14.2 MBAs we look at moving into a new year, many addicts in recovery and spouses healing from betrayal trauma, wonder if their year and experience will ever be "normal" again. Will they ever be able to go to the beach or a BBQ or pool party ever again without one or both being triggered? Can we watch any movies other than G-rated without the risk of something sexual popping up? How can 2023 be any different with all the preceding years of "horrible history." In this episode, Mark and Steve get "p...
How to be the proactive “Architect” of your Holidays and 2023—as opposed to the same old “Reactive Firefighter.”
December 20, 2022 13:00 - 24 minutes - 16.6 MBIf we're not mindful and proactive, addiction and betrayal trauma can turn our Holidays into constant "fires" that we run around putting out. Instead, how can we become the proactive "architects" of our Holidays and of 2023? Learn more about Mark and Steve's revolutionary online porn/sexual addiction recovery and betrayal trauma healing program—"Dare to Connect!" You have live access to Mark and Steve in 3 one-hour sessions every week—addicts, spouses and couples! And live support groups o...
Does it Take a “Catastrophe” to Break Out of Addiction? And, Should I Disclose to My Partner?
December 13, 2022 13:00 - 28 minutes - 19.9 MBWe recently received a VERY raw, vulnerable and transparent communication from one of our PBSE listeners who is struggling with porn addiction and has some very pointed questions. Here are some excerpts of what he sent us— I have been battling with porn and sex addiction off and on for the better part of 25 years. In my younger years, I was able to break free of it . . . Now, a number of years later, I think I am in a full blown addiction that is spiraling out of control. When I look at p...
How to Raise Sexually Healthy Kids and Help Those Already Struggling
December 06, 2022 13:00 - 24 minutes - 17 MBMark & Steve rarely address issues with kids and teens on PBSE podcast. However, two PBSE listeners submitted questions in this area. One is in addiction recovery and wants to know HOW to help his three young children (one more on the way) grow up to be sexually healthy adults who are not "set up" for addiction. The other listener, also in recovery, has a 16-year-old son who recently admitted to being caught up in porn since age 12. How can he best help his son? In this episode, Mark and S...
How to Raise Sexually Healthy Kids and Help Those Already Struggling
December 06, 2022 13:00 - 24 minutes - 17 MBMark & Steve rarely address issues with kids and teens on PBSE podcast. However, two PBSE listeners submitted questions in this area. One is in addiction recovery and wants to know HOW to help his three young children (one more on the way) grow up to be sexually healthy adults who are not "set up" for addiction. The other listener, also in recovery, has a 16-year-old son who recently admitted to being caught up in porn since age 12. How can he best help his son? In this episode, Mark and S...
Now that I know about my addict partner’s past sexual behaviors, I don’t want to have sex with him!
November 29, 2022 13:00 - 29 minutes - 20.4 MBThis PBSE episode comes from a very bold, but authentic situation and question from one of our listeners— I am a betrayed spouse and just listened to Episode 37, “I’m not Sexually Attracted to my Partner.” I was so hoping you would also be dealing with the betrayed spouse’s feelings of not being attracted to their partner. Because that’s where l am. After 24 years of absolutely no sex or sexually intimate connection at all, now that he’s recovered, he’s interested in me sexually and emotion...
Now that I know about my addict partner’s past sexual behaviors, I don’t want to have sex with him!
November 29, 2022 13:00 - 29 minutes - 20.4 MBThis PBSE episode comes from a very bold, but authentic situation and question from one of our listeners— I am a betrayed spouse and just listened to Episode 37, “I’m not Sexually Attracted to my Partner.” I was so hoping you would also be dealing with the betrayed spouse’s feelings of not being attracted to their partner. Because that’s where l am. After 24 years of absolutely no sex or sexually intimate connection at all, now that he’s recovered, he’s interested in me sexually and emotion...
What Can You Do When Your Partner Will Not Acknowledge They Have a Porn Problem?
November 22, 2022 13:00 - 25 minutes - 17.4 MBIn episode 150, Mark & Steve tackle a situation submitted by a PBSE listener— Her partner of 3 years came forward and admitted to her that he's been hiding his porn use from her their entire relationship. He was humble, willing and indicated that he would get help and do whatever it takes to break out of this. Then, a short time later, he made a 180 degree turnaround and blamed all of it on her, telling her that there's nothing wrong with porn and it's all her issue! To say she was blindsid...
What Can You Do When Your Partner Will Not Acknowledge They Have a Porn Problem?
November 22, 2022 13:00 - 25 minutes - 17.4 MBIn episode 150, Mark & Steve tackle a situation submitted by a PBSE listener— Her partner of 3 years came forward and admitted to her that he's been hiding his porn use from her their entire relationship. He was humble, willing and indicated that he would get help and do whatever it takes to break out of this. Then, a short time later, he made a 180 degree turnaround and blamed all of it on her, telling her that there's nothing wrong with porn and it's all her issue! To say she was blindsid...
As a Porn/Sex Addict in Recovery, HOW do I Let Go of Deep Feelings of Shame & Unworthiness?
November 15, 2022 13:00 - 25 minutes - 17.5 MBIn episode 149, Mark & Steve reach out to an addict in recovery who expressed some very deep feelings and meaning questions— Hi Mark and Steve, I love your podcast and have learned a ton from your experiences! Thank you for all that you do for the SA recovery community! I'm a betraying partner in recovery from porn and sex addiction. I've been working with a CSAT for 10 months and engage in separate therapy and accountability groups each week. My wife and I completed a therapeutic disclosur...
As a Porn/Sex Addict in Recovery, HOW do I Let Go of Deep Feelings of Shame & Unworthiness?
November 15, 2022 13:00 - 25 minutes - 17.5 MBIn episode 149, Mark & Steve reach out to an addict in recovery who expressed some very deep feelings and meaning questions— Hi Mark and Steve, I love your podcast and have learned a ton from your experiences! Thank you for all that you do for the SA recovery community! I'm a betraying partner in recovery from porn and sex addiction. I've been working with a CSAT for 10 months and engage in separate therapy and accountability groups each week. My wife and I completed a therapeutic disclosur...
Steve's Lessons Learned in Successful Recovery!
November 08, 2022 13:00 - 22 minutes - 15.7 MBThis is a special podcast and the first of its kind here at PBSE. In this episode, PBSE Co-Founder Steve Moore, goes “solo” and talks raw and real about how, in October, he celebrated 8 years of total sobriety from porn and sex addiction! Steve shares the incredible recovery lessons he’s learned along the way and HOW you can be SUCCESSFUL! Learn more about Mark and Steve's revolutionary online porn/sexual addiction recovery and betrayal trauma healing program—"Dare to Connect!" You have li...
My Addict Spouse Can’t Help His Bad Behaviors Because He is “Powerless”—Right?
November 01, 2022 12:00 - 31 minutes - 21.5 MBIn this episode, Mark & Steve respond to a spouse's heart-felt description of the EXTREMELY traumatizing situation with her addict partner. Her words JUMPED out at Mark & Steve and they have a LOT to say to her and her partner!!! Here are the words she sent in to PBSE— I have been married to my husband for 10 years. We have 2 young children and I have been aware of my husbands addictive sexual behavior for several years. We have had many D days, a few breakdowns from both of us, broken pro...
Because of Trauma from my Addict Partner, I'm Seeing the World Through "His Hyper-sexualized Lens"!
October 25, 2022 12:00 - 29 minutes - 20.6 MBIn this episode, Mark and Steve address a very unfortunate, but all-too-common challenge for the partners of porn/sex addicts. Here's how a PBSE listener describes her extreme difficulty with this issue— I feel like I now understand, to a maybe uncomfortable degree, what’s going on in his head when we’re in public and an attractive girl is nearby.Y’all talk about “scanning a room” but, now I feel like I’m the one scanning! I obsessively scan every environment looking for the girls I know he...
What Role Can/Should a “Polygraph” Play in a Porn/Sex Addict’s “Disclosure” to a Partner?
October 18, 2022 12:00 - 25 minutes - 17.3 MBIn this episode, Mark & Steve respond to a PBSE listener's questions about "polygraphs" and their role in Disclosure to a partner— Hi Mark & Steve, I am really enjoying your podcast, and have been in recovery for just over 9 months. I am listening to the podcast in order and am on episode 72, so forgive me if you have covered this topic. My question is regarding polygraphs. I have failed 2 of them and now my wife does not trust a thing I say. I admitted that the first one I took I was being...
Are the Sexual Practices in Your Relationship “Safe”? How Can You Know?
October 11, 2022 12:00 - 24 minutes - 16.6 MBIn this episode, Mark & Steve address a very difficult and painful situation and questions submitted by a PBSE listener. Her spouse has engaged in sexual practices with her where she did NOT give her "consent" and definitely fall under the definition of "abusive." How can you KNOW with certainty when certain sexual practices in your relationship are "safe" and when they cross the line into the "abusive"? Learn more about Mark and Steve's revolutionary online porn/sexual addiction recove...
I was just “blind-sided” by the shocking details of my husband’s sex addiction! Now what!
October 04, 2022 20:00 - 25 minutes - 17.3 MBI this episode, Mark and Steve respond to a spouse who sent in a CRAZY HARD situation she is facing! Her courage, authenticity and wisdom are very impressive! Hi Mark and Steve! First of all, I just want to say thank you so much for doing these podcasts. I am married for 19 yrs and we are together for 20. I am brand new to this scene. Just found out in the last 3 weeks that my husband has severe sex addiction including Voyeurism, porn addiction, infidelity, and intimacy issues. The only thi...
I was just “blind-sided” by the shocking details of my husband’s sex addiction! Now what!
October 04, 2022 20:00 - 25 minutes - 17.3 MBI this episode, Mark and Steve respond to a spouse who sent in a CRAZY HARD situation she is facing! Her courage, authenticity and wisdom are very impressive! Hi Mark and Steve! First of all, I just want to say thank you so much for doing these podcasts. I am married for 19 yrs and we are together for 20. I am brand new to this scene. Just found out in the last 3 weeks that my husband has severe sex addiction including Voyeurism, porn addiction, infidelity, and intimacy issues. The only thi...
My Husband Acts “Sexually Anorexic”—What Can I Do?!
September 27, 2022 21:00 - 25 minutes - 17.7 MBA PBSE listener sent in a very raw and vulnerable situation and question. Here's what she said— I've heard the term "sexual anorexia" and this describes [my husband] to a tee! I've been binging your podcast recently and it seems you guys are always talking about wives setting boundaries around not having sex until feeling safe, but I have the opposite issue. He never wants to have sex with me. He wants to be in a relationship but I don't think he sees me as a sexual person anymore. He's al...
My Husband Acts “Sexually Anorexic”—What Can I Do?!
September 27, 2022 21:00 - 25 minutes - 17.7 MBA PBSE listener sent in a very raw and vulnerable situation and question. Here's what she said— I've heard the term "sexual anorexia" and this describes [my husband] to a tee! I've been binging your podcast recently and it seems you guys are always talking about wives setting boundaries around not having sex until feeling safe, but I have the opposite issue. He never wants to have sex with me. He wants to be in a relationship but I don't think he sees me as a sexual person anymore. He's al...
Basic Recovery/Healing Tools, Part Three: Building Your Support System
September 20, 2022 12:00 - 27 minutes - 18.9 MBThe Problem— - RECOVERY/HEALING NEVER WORKS IN A VACUUM! - Isolation, in all of its forms, decreases safety, encourages avoidance, feeds addiction and trauma responses, and deepens the issues for both the addict and the spouse. - For Addicts: you cannot put the load of your recovery on your spouse—it will hinder her healing. - For Spouses: the source of your trauma CANNOT be the sole source of your healing. He can’t support you in some ways and to varying degrees, no matter how much you...