Porn, Betrayal, Sex and the Experts — PBSE
255 episodes - English - Latest episode: 13 days ago - ★★★★ - 112 ratingsTwo sex addicts in long-term successful recovery are ALSO world-class mental health professionals who specialize in porn and sex addiction recovery. Drawing on 40 years of combined personal and professional experience, Mark and Steve get RAW and REAL about HOW to overcome addiction, heal betrayal trauma and save your marriage. If you're struggling with addiction—we get it. Recovery is hard. We've been there. We'll help you take the fight to your addiction like never before. If you're married to an addict—we KNOW what it's like to nearly destroy a marriage! We'll help you understand the world of your husband's addiction and begin healing your betrayal trauma, regardless of what he decides to do. You don't have to stay stuck. You don't have to keep suffering. We've made all the mistakes so you don't have to. Take back your life. Take back your marriage. Let's do this together! This is the PBSE podcast.
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Episodes
Ditch the “New Year’s Resolution" BS—it doesn’t work!
December 29, 2020 13:00 - 39 minutes - 27.2 MBCan you believe it--it's a NEW YEAR! And it's that infamous time again--New Year's Resolutions! In this episode Mark and Steve get real about WHY these resolutions virtually never work to produce long-term LASTING change. Using the "resolution" approach, especially for overcoming porn addiction and healing betrayal trauma, often does just the opposite! Here's why— - We mistake "novelty" and initial "excitement" as true commitment. - New Year's Resolution "energy" is only temporary--th...
Learning from Mark & Steve's "Recovery Ghosts of Christmas Past"
December 22, 2020 13:00 - 38 minutes - 26.3 MBThis episode is a kind of "Christmas gift" from Mark and Steve to their listeners. They talk raw and open about how too many Christmas seasons over their decades of deep addiction were anything but merry and joyful! But, today Christmas time is SO MUCH BETTER! Mark and Steve share HOW they and their wives have turned Christmas into a truly enjoyable, peaceful, connecting time. Recovery, healing and Christmas truly can harmonize! Find out more about Steve Moore at: Ascension Counseling ...
Recovery, Healing & the Holidays—Part Three: Finding Serenity in the Midst of Family "Stuff"
December 15, 2020 13:00 - 35 minutes - 24.7 MBDuring the holidays, "families" can be both an opportunity AND a challenge! Family interactions can support us on our paths of recovery and healing OR knock us off the path! In this Part Three episode, Mark and Steve offer guidance on HOW to successfully navigate family and the holidays— - Balancing TIME between self, marriage and family. - What to do when "enmeshed" family dynamics collide with new recovery and healing skills. - How we can easily fall into old unhealthy family "rol...
Recovery, Healing & the Holidays—Par Two: "Self Care? Forget that! It's the Holidays, Bro!"
December 08, 2020 13:00 - 29 minutes - 20.4 MBIt's SO easy to "go off the self-care rails" during the Holidays! If we're not careful, we can tend to use as an excuse for laziness, apathy, self-indulgence, disconnection, etc., the old "Yah, but it's the Holidays!" In this Part Two episode, Steve and Mark talk about their own tendencies to fall prey to "holiday laziness" and how easy it is to fall out of the structure and routine of HEALTHY LIVING!!! Find out more about Steve Moore at: Ascension Counseling Learn more about Mark Kast...
Recovery, Healing & the Holidays—Part One: Preparing for and Managing Triggers
December 01, 2020 13:00 - 30 minutes - 21.1 MBThe holidays are a time for MAJOR EMOTIONAL TRIGGERS—good and bad. In fact the Holidays are intended and designed to elicit intense emotions. These can be ignited by our internal or external environments. In this episode (part one of a 3-part holiday series) Mark and Steve get real about HOW to deal with holiday triggers in a healthy way— - Normalize your holiday triggers—they're going to happen! - Practice simply "being" with your emotions as opposed to "doing" something about them. -...
Where Relationship Expectations Collide with Individual Boundaries
November 24, 2020 13:00 - 31 minutes - 21.5 MBIt's very natural and legitimate to have certain expectations in our marriage relationship. And we NEED healthy boundaries in order to make steady progress and attain and enjoy real CONNECTION. But what happens when our relationship expectations come into conflict with our individual recovery and healing boundaries? What happens when expected goals or timelines aren't met or change? How do we deal with setbacks, disappointments and "unmet" expectations? Can expectations and boundaries be "...
The "Unholy Triad" that can Decimate Your Marriage!
November 17, 2020 13:00 - 25 minutes - 17.4 MBIn their own addictions, recoveries and healing, and working with people all over the world, Mark and Steve have come to understand an "unholy triad" that decimates marriage: Pride; Shame; and Trauma. In this episode Mark and Steve get raw and real about how these three HUGE challenges can derail our most cherished relationships and how to begin moving through and beyond them. Find out more about Steve Moore at: Ascension Counseling Learn more about Mark Kastleman at: Reclaim Counse...
What Does it Really Mean to "Man-Up"?
November 10, 2020 18:00 - 28 minutes - 19.8 MBWith so many dominant influences from Hollywood, the mainstream media, pornography and the role models we were raised with, there's a LOT of confusion about what it really means to "man-up." It's NOT the "macho/sexual-prowess" stereotype the culture often tends to promote. In this episode, Mark and Steve talk open and real about their own experiences as men and their work with men across the world. A man's strength has NOTHING to do with being "weakness-free." It has EVERYTHING to do wi...
How We Get Stuck in our Pain . . . and How to Heal and Move Forward
November 03, 2020 13:00 - 36 minutes - 24.9 MBIn this episode, Mark and Steve come from a very heart-felt place in speaking to the women who may find themselves "stuck in the pain of Betrayal Trauma." This is actually a very common struggle for many in early or even ongoing healing and recovery. Mark and Steve discuss— - How the "grieving process" is a necessary part of facing pain and beginning to heal. - Many women and men feel like they "don't have a voice," aren't being heard and often never really learned "how" to have a voice...
Is there a Place for "Sexual Entitlement" in a Healthy Marriage Relationship?
October 27, 2020 12:00 - 31 minutes - 22 MBMark and Steve produced this episode in response to a PBSE listener's question— Hi Guys! Would it be possible to talk about entitlement in an episode? I feel like many men struggle with a sense of entitlement for sexual pleasure and/or being "serviced". I know for my husband and many of his friends, the belief is that if they aren't getting it from their wives, they have the right to seek it elsewhere (porn, affairs etc). How does someone work on changing their mindset of entitlement and...
If You Don't Have Honesty—You Don't Have Much
October 20, 2020 12:00 - 35 minutes - 24.7 MBThis episode starts with Mark and Steve getting super raw about how lying was a big part of their addiction years and early recovery. - There are MANY "layers of lies" that can be obvious or very subtle; active lies or passive ones. - Why do addicts tell lies? And why do spouses often have struggles being totally open and blunt about what they're feeling and thinking? - Why is dishonesty SO devastating to a marriage relationship? - HOW can we make the shift into total honesty, tra...
Are YOU Choosing Your Life . . . OR . . . is "IT" Choosing You?
October 13, 2020 12:00 - 36 minutes - 25.4 MBMark and Steve get personal and talk about how, for much of their lives, they lived in "victim mode" and ran around spouting off cliches like, "I'm a realist," and "It is what it is," and "Things never change, so why bother?!" As CRAZY as it sounds, much of our TRUE POWER resides in this bold claim: "Acceptance is the answer to many of life's problems." Listen in as Mark and Steve talk about HOW to: - Embrace serenity in accepting the things you can't change; - Muster the courage to ch...
In Recovery & Healing—Is God Your Problem or Your Solution?
October 06, 2020 12:00 - 36 minutes - 25.3 MBIn this episode, Mark and Steve talk raw and real about their personal "God journeys"—how God operated in their lives BEFORE recovery and healing (crazy dysfunctional!)—and how their God relationships evolved in ways that literally "saved" their lives and marriages. Maybe in your individual and couple recovery and healing you could use a personal "God assessment." Find out more about Steve Moore at: Ascension Counseling Learn more about Mark Kastleman at: Reclaim Counseling Services I...
Hey, we're doing well, so we can let up on our Boundaries—Right?
September 29, 2020 12:00 - 32 minutes - 22.6 MBWhen things have been going well for awhile in addiction recovery and betrayal trauma healing, there can be a temptation to relax the boundaries we've agreed to. This can also seem like a viable option when things are continuing to fall apart in the relationship. In either situation, experience tells us that the BEST chance your marriage has is within the safety and growth of BOUNDARIES. In this episode, Mark and Steve get into some of the more subtle and advanced nuances of boundaries— -...
I'm Not Sexually Attracted to My Partner—Are We Done?
September 22, 2020 12:00 - 44 minutes - 30.5 MBWe live in a culture that can easily tend to make physical/sexual attraction the "be all, end all," in marriage relationships. In this episode, Mark and Steve share their own raw and real marriage experiences in relation to this poignant and difficult topic: Sexual passion/attraction is a force that "acts upon us." On the other hand, "Love" is a force we "choose to act within." What is "Attraction"? What is it based upon? Can it change? We each have an "Arousal Template" which is both ph...
How to Have DIFFICULT CONVERSATIONS that bring TRUE CONNECTION!
September 15, 2020 15:00 - 36 minutes - 25 MBOur most DIFFICULT conversations can also be the most CONNECTING! In this episode, Mark and Steve get raw and real about WHY we avoid difficult and uncomfortable conversations and HOW we can turn these situations into TRUE CONNECTION! If you're a couple where many or most of your hard conversations turn negative and divisive, this episode will help you understand "why" that happens and "how" to turn things around so you can stop fighting and start CONNECTING! Find out more about Steve ...
How Do We Become Trapped in a "Marriage Crisis" and Can We Ever Come Back Together?
September 08, 2020 12:00 - 38 minutes - 26.6 MBPorn addiction, Betrayal Trauma and other challenges can plunge us hopelessly into a seemingly perpetual pattern of Negative Relationship Patterns! This constant negativity wears us down until we can't see EVER having a happy, connected, fulfilled relationship. In this episode, Mark and Steve speak from personal marriage experience, as well as years of working with couples, about WHY we get trapped in our Negative Relationship Patterns and HOW to Break Free. Find out more about Steve Moo...
How "Pain Avoidance" feeds Addiction & Betrayal Trauma!
September 01, 2020 12:00 - 35 minutes - 24.6 MBIt's natural to avoid pain--that protection mechanism is built directly into the human brain. BUT, "pain avoidance" often creates and then feeds Addiction. And it can also keep us trapped in Betrayal Trauma. In this episode, Mark and Steve talk about HOW to STOP avoiding pain and actually start Embracing and Learning from it! Perhaps pain is the solution you've been searching for. Find out more about Steve Moore at: Ascension Counseling Learn more about Mark Kastleman at: Reclaim Couns...
Separating "Attraction" from the "Addiction"—Where are the Boundaries?
August 25, 2020 21:00 - 40 minutes - 27.8 MBIn this episode, Mark and Steve address the questions and concerns of one of the PBSE podcast listeners. As the spouse of an addict in recovery, this listener brings up the very legitimate concern— As a sexual addict in recovery, should my husband be having an "attraction and chemistry" toward other women? How can he possibly do this without crossing the line into lust, fantasy, relapse and adding to the already deep and painful Betrayal Trauma I feel? Mark and Steve talk openly about HOW...
Porn Addiction Relapse—the Fallout and Breaking the Addiction Cycle
August 18, 2020 12:00 - 42 minutes - 29.2 MBWhat happens when there is a "Pornography Addiction Relapse"? The Fallout of Relapse— For the Addict: Hopelessness, shame, resignation, apathy, "Eeyore mode"—emotional volatility and variability. For the Spouse: Often forced to be the absolver and confessor—she feels like she must set aside her pain to be there for him, or feel like she is insensitive for taking care of her own needs. For the Couple: Often left feeling hopeless, exhausted and less motivated/energized to recommit an...
Refuse to Be a "Victim"—"Let Go" and Allow Her to Heal from Betrayal Trauma!
August 11, 2020 12:00 - 32 minutes - 22.3 MB- Learn how to “let go” of Your Spouse’s Healing - Instead of focusing on what she is or is not doing—put all your energy into YOUR recovery. - You can’t “undo” trauma or “fix” your spouse. The best thing you CAN do is CHOOSE to break free from addiction. - The best chance to “save your marriage” is to work your own recovery! - Clear Setting AND Adherence to Boundaries is essential—it’s the ONLY way to make consistent forward progress. - “Hard things” do NOT justify abandoning bo...
Breaking Free from the "Victim Trap" of Addiction—Part One
August 04, 2020 12:00 - 25 minutes - 17.9 MBAddiction and Betrayal Trauma can easily plunge us into the "Victim Trap"! In this dark place, it is nearly impossible to progress on our paths of recovery and healing. In in episode which is "Part One," Mark and Steve discuss— - How being distracted by your "partner's stuff" and drained by his or her issues leaves you no energy to work on your own stuff. - In being a "victim" you give away power over your own happiness. - Why the Victim Trap throws us into a cycle of perpetual hopel...
Breaking Free from the "Victim Trap" of His Porn Addiction
August 04, 2020 12:00 - 26 minutes - 18.6 MBAddiction and Betrayal Trauma can easily plunge us into the "Victim Trap"! In this dark place, it is nearly impossible to progress on our paths of recovery and healing. In in episode which is "Part One," Mark and Steve discuss— - How being distracted by your "partner's stuff" and drained by his or her issues leaves you no energy to work on your own stuff. - In being a "victim" you give away power over your own happiness. - Why the Victim Trap throws us into a cycle of perpetual hopel...
How Do I Regain Her Trust and How Do I Trust Her?
July 27, 2020 22:00 - 40 minutes - 28.2 MBTwo of the BIG questions we hear a LOT from recovering porn/sex addicts is: "How do I get her to trust me again?" and "How do I trust her?" In this episode Mark and Steve get raw and practical about the answers to these critical questions— How do I regain her trust? The basis for your spouse trusting you again involves YOU developing consistency in several areas of recovery—not just sobriety. There is NO way to MAKE her trust you, so QUIT pressuring her! "Neediness" will NEVER develop t...
How Do I Ever TRUST my Porn/Sex Addicted Spouse Again?
July 21, 2020 20:00 - 45 minutes - 31.2 MBDiscovering your spouse has a porn/sex addiction triggers Betrayal Trauma and SHATTERS trust! HOW can you ever get to the place where you can "trust him again"? Mark and Steve share insights from their own marriages and their experiences helping women and couples over the last 20 years— Validating your own PAIN is a crucial first step True empathy from your addicted spouse is ESSENTIAL! You need to let go fo the "shoulds" regarding how and when to trust Learn to LET GO of any lingering r...
"Boundaried" Relationships Last—Even in the Midst of Porn Addiction & Betrayal Trauma!
July 14, 2020 15:00 - 46 minutes - 31.8 MBFor any relationship to last and thrive, there must be "boundaries." This is especially true when you're dealing with Porn Addiction and Betrayal Trauma! In this episode, Mark and Steve talk raw and open about "boundaries in the marriage relationship"— If we love each other, why do we need boundaries? Love shouldn't be restricted-right? WRONG! Love is NOT love unless it's "boundaried." Isn't setting and enforcing boundaries exhausting? It's FAR more exhausting in on the long run NOT to h...
"Boundaried" Relationships Last—Even in the Midst of Porn Addiction & Betrayal Trauma!
July 14, 2020 15:00 - 46 minutes - 31.8 MBFor any relationship to last and thrive, there must be "boundaries." This is especially true when you're dealing with Porn Addiction and Betrayal Trauma! In this episode, Mark and Steve talk raw and open about "boundaries in the marriage relationship"— If we love each other, why do we need boundaries? Love shouldn't be restricted-right? WRONG! Love is NOT love unless it's "boundaried." Isn't setting and enforcing boundaries exhausting? It's FAR more exhausting in on the long run NOT to h...
Todd Tells His Sex Addiction Recovery Story—Part Two
July 07, 2020 20:00 - 32 minutes - 22.4 MBThis episode is "Part Two" of the interview with Todd, a former Mark and Steve client, who tells his raw and real story of recovery from Sex and Porn Addiction. In this second half of the interview, Todd talks about how he moved from "ME" in addiction to "WE" in real recovery—How to shift your attitude from "me-centered" to "we-centered" and build the support network that is CRUCIAL to lasting recovery. Find out more about Steve Moore at: Ascension Counseling Learn more about Mark Kast...
Let Go of the "Sexual Beast' and Embrace REAL Intimacy in your Marriage!
June 30, 2020 20:00 - 50 minutes - 34.8 MBIn this episode, Mark and Steve address an issue submitted by a PBSE listener— Hi Guys! My husband loves your podcast. It's the only he will listen to openly. I loved your topic today "Healthy Sex vs. Toxic Sex in Marriage." You talked about lust and I found that topic to be very relatable. Is it possible to discuss how lusting can cause issues in a marriage? From the partner's perspective, it's broken down my trust in him and his motivations. I recoil from his touch because I don't...
Todd Tells His Sex Addiction Recovery Story—Part One
June 24, 2020 02:00 - 41 minutes - 28.6 MBTodd, a former Mark and Steve client, tells his raw and real story of recovery from Sex and Porn Addiction. Todd also talks about how being convinced from a young age that he had to "earn love," was a BIG part of what led him to and kept him trapped in addiction! Tune in next week for "Part Two"! Find out more about Steve Moore at: Ascension Counseling Learn more about Mark Kastleman at: Reclaim Counseling Services Want to learn more about HOW to break free from porn?—https://www.re...
Healthy Sex vs. Toxic Sex in Marriage
June 16, 2020 19:00 - 44 minutes - 30.3 MBIn this episode Mark and Steve openly discuss the differences between healthy and toxic sex in marriage— What are the differences between a healthy sex drive and a lust/fantasy focus in marriage? You can trigger the "addiction cycle" or the "connection cycle" through the sexual relationship in your marriage—which one do you want? What do you know if you're engaging in "lust" or "healthy attraction"? How lust can be a "poison" in the bedroom. How your spouse can be a "lust trigger" an...
How do you keep going in Recovery and Healing when you're Burned Out and just plain "Done"!
June 08, 2020 21:00 - 48 minutes - 33.1 MBMark and Steve know from personal experience and helping others, just how heavy, difficult, exhausting and discouraging addiction recovery and betrayal trauma healing can be! In this episode they tackle this common issue head-on— - How you and your spouse can honor and embrace your pain and feelings without allowing them to derail your recovery and healing. - Is your view of recovery and healing (the pain and the blessings) realistic? How to plan and prepare for "the hard"? - How to "...
Is it OK to Occasionally "Lie" if its in the Best Interest of Your Recovery or Healing?
June 01, 2020 18:00 - 41 minutes - 28.3 MBWe live in a world where honesty is a steadily shrinking virtue! Many in politics, sales, advertising and the media send a subtle or even blatant message that truth is relative, situational or interpretive. But what about issues related to addiction, betrayal, recovery and healing? Is telling the "whole" truth all the time really the "best" policy? What exactly is "the truth" when it comes to recovery and healing? How important is total truth and transparency to an authentically "intimat...
Those Darn Thinking Errors!—"Emotional Reasoning" and the "Unreal Ideal"
May 25, 2020 15:00 - 37 minutes - 25.7 MBAddiction and Betrayal Trauma both have a dramatic impact on the brain and the heart! And one of the primary barriers to our recovery and healing is our THINKING ERRORS! In this episode Mark and Steve give personal examples from their own lives about two BIG thinking errors—EMOTIONAL REASONING and the UNREAL IDEAL. You'll learn how these to thinking errors work, effect us and get in the way of our healing. You'll also learn HOW to move them out of the way so you can progress forward in yo...
Pulling Out a Chair for God at Your Marriage Table
May 18, 2020 16:00 - 42 minutes - 29 MBIf you want your marriage to truly be ALL that it can be, we HIGHLY recommend pulling out a chair for God at your marriage table. But that can be easier said than done! In this episode, Mark and Steve talk in-depth about HOW to build a marriage partnership with God— Addiction and betrayal can easily create a kind of "God-trauma" for each spouse individually and for the marriage--how can you navigate this? You each bring your past knowledge and experience with God to your marriage. How can ...
For the Spouse of an Addict—How to "Let Go and Let God."
May 11, 2020 18:00 - 47 minutes - 32.7 MBThe devastating pain and confusion caused by your husband's porn addiction can easily create a distance or wall between you and God. In this episode, Mark and Steve talk about the realities of Betrayal Trauma HOW you can "let go and let God"—which is NOT easy!— Marital Betrayal—WHY would God allow this to happen??? Manipulation and "Gaslighting" may cause you to doubt your intuition! Why didn't God tell you along the way about your husband's betrayal? If God won't protect you, then you h...
For the Spouse of an Addict—How to "Let Go and Let God."
May 11, 2020 18:00 - 47 minutes - 32.7 MBThe devastating pain and confusion caused by your husband's porn addiction can easily create a distance or wall between you and God. In this episode, Mark and Steve talk about the realities of Betrayal Trauma HOW you can "let go and let God"—which is NOT easy!— Marital Betrayal—WHY would God allow this to happen??? Manipulation and "Gaslighting" may cause you to doubt your intuition! Why didn't God tell you along the way about your husband's betrayal? If God won't protect you, then you h...
The "Addict" vs. "God"
May 04, 2020 21:00 - 34 minutes - 23.8 MBIn the midst of your struggles with pornography, can you also have a relationship with God? Mark and Steve talk open and raw about their personal experience with this conflict. They offer some CRITICAL insights and a specific ASSIGNMENT that has helped them and their clients over the years. Visit the PBSE website at: pbsepodcast.com Find out more about Steve Moore at: Ascension Counseling Learn more about Mark Kastleman at: Reclaim Counseling Services Addiction and God can be an esp...
We Made All the Marriage Mistakes so YOU Don't Have To!—Part TWO
April 25, 2020 19:00 - 43 minutes - 29.6 MBMark and Steve come back to talk SUPER raw about even MORE marriage mistakes they and their clients have made--and HOW YOU DON'T HAVE TO KEEP MAKING THE SAME MISTAKES! In this episode, learn even more from Mark and Steve— We're NOT Enemies—we're in this Together—Too often, marriage becomes "him vs. her" in a competition or battle! You CAN learn HOW to shift from "Me" to "WE." Being "FULLY PRESENT"—It can be too easy to "be there physically," but absent emotionally. Learn HOW to truly "be t...
We Made All the Marriage Mistakes so YOU Don't Have To!—Part One
April 20, 2020 23:00 - 36 minutes - 25.4 MBDuring their deep addiction years, Mark and Steve made all the marriage mistakes you can imagine! Now they offer you a great gift—the opportunity to LEARN from their MISTAKES! If they could go back in time knowing what they know now, here's what Mark and Steve would've done different in their MARRIAGE RELATIONSHIP— During our courtship, I would've been open, honest, vulnerable and transparent—allowing my future wife to SEE the REAL me and KNOW the man she was about to marry. I would've le...
Two Former Porn Addicts—"If I Could Go Back in Time, WHAT Would I DO different?"
April 13, 2020 19:00 - 43 minutes - 29.6 MBMark and Steve get VERY raw and real about the struggles during their deep addiction years. Knowing what they know now—if they could go back in time, WHAT would they do different? Be open, honest and seek help WAY sooner vs. staying stuck in shame and secrecy! Face the PAIN and REAL underlying issues vs. believing it was all about the porn! Be open about the real possibility of being able to break free vs. buying into the lie that "I'll never actually be totally free from this!" Be will...
Here's EXACTLY HOW to Use the "Surrender Tool" as an Addict, Spouse and Citizen
April 07, 2020 22:00 - 33 minutes - 22.8 MBIn this episode, Mark and Steve walk you through three REAL LIFE examples of HOW to use the "Surrender Tool" in times of overwhelming emotions like fear, lust, anger, resentment, betrayal and more. Learn how to go from "Me" to "We" and WIN through Surrender! Visit the PBSE website at: pbsepodcast.com Find out more about Steve Moore at: Ascension Counseling Learn more about Mark Kastleman at: Reclaim Counseling Services To learn more about HOW to use Surrender and other tools to Ov...
How to Practice the Essential "Art of Surrender" in a Scary World!
March 30, 2020 19:00 - 46 minutes - 32.3 MBOur natural tendency in addiction, betrayal trauma and current scary world events is to attempt to INCREASE the CONTROL we have over our lives! This is exactly the OPPOSITE of what we truly need in recovery and in life. In this episode, Mark and Steve talk raw and real about exactly HOW to "SURRENDER" trying to control things when you feel the most out-of-control! Although it sounds like a total contradiction of oxymoron—the BEST way for you and those you love to succeed, connect and WIN...
How to Get Out of Your "Coronavirus Brain" and TAKE CHARGE!
March 23, 2020 22:00 - 48 minutes - 33.2 MBRight now a lot of people across the world are feeling pretty "powerless"! But, those of us who have suffered from addiction, betrayal trauma and other significant trials—WE actually possess the raw experience, resilience, knowledge and tools to STEP UP and STEP INTO the role of "Servant Leaders." In this episode, you'll learn how to GET OUT of your "Coronavirus Brain" and TAKE CHARGE! YOU are NOT your brain! Become a "Forceful Stage Director" and help others do the same. There are more ...
Managing Your Emotions & Triggers in These Trying Times!
March 17, 2020 03:00 - 46 minutes - 32.2 MBDuring times of HIGH emotional stress, like the COVID 19 pandemic, "triggers" go up for the population as a whole, and especially for those dealing with addiction! The HIGH STRESS can impact us in many ways— Financial fear and instability Increased feelings of anxiety and depression--both individually and socially Feeling a lack of emotional safety and stabilitiy Increased strain on relationships; more time together (which can be good and bad); increased strain on parents Spiritual stre...
Are My Sexual Behaviors a Problem?
March 09, 2020 23:00 - 40 minutes - 28.1 MBWhen it comes to sexual behaviors, we live in a world where there is a very broad spectrum about what people consider to be "healthy" and "not healthy." In this podcast, Mark and Steve talk raw and real about their personal experience with this and working with men across the globe. You'll learn— Can "sex" become an addiction? What are the levels on the path to sex addiction— Curiosity Recreation Self-soothing Obsession Compulsion Addiction There are MANY ways to "act out sexually"...
Unraveling the BIG Mystery of Porn Addiction—"Why do I keep going back to it?!"
March 03, 2020 04:00 - 46 minutes - 32.1 MBEveryone who gets trapped in porn addiction struggles with the "big mystery"--why do I keep going back to this crap? Why can't I just say 'NO!' once and for all?" The reason is that pornography radically changes the brain. In this episode you'll learn: After viewing porn and reaching climax, the viewer often pounds his fist on the table and asks, "What was I thinking?!" The answer—"You weren't AND you COULDN'T!" What is the "Addiction Cycle"?--Initiating Trigger; Preoccupation; Ritualizin...
Battling Through Trauma Together!
February 25, 2020 02:00 - 44 minutes - 30.3 MBTrauma is ALWAYS part of a marriage relationship—either trauma we bring with us from childhood or trauma created while we're married. Either way, trauma can open a chasm of disconnection and conflict between us, or it can bring us close together than ever! It all depends on whether we battle each other or join forces and battle the trauma together. In this podcast, you'll learn the 5 Steps to Connecting in Trauma and Conflict— Sit in One Another's Emotions (fight through being "pain-avers...
Conflict Isn't Bad—Fighting the Real Enemy, NOT Each Other!
February 15, 2020 21:00 - 41 minutes - 28.8 MBMost of were raised to believe that "conflict is bad" and to be avoided at all costs! The truth is, in healthy relationships, conflict should be expected and even encouraged! Conflict doesn't destroy a marriage—it's the way it's handled that does. In this podcast you'll learn: The differences between "conflict" and "contention." How to engage in "Collaborative Conflict" Real connection in a relationship has very little to do with "agreement" Seeking to understand and to be understood i...
What is Betrayal Trauma—Part Three—Setting Sexual Boundaries
February 06, 2020 20:00 - 46 minutes - 32.2 MBIn order for a porn addict to move into "real" recovery, AND a spouse to begin healing her betrayal trauma, as a couple you MUST begin setting BOUNDARIES! Why? Because the MOST connected relationships are those with boundaries. First, there must be boundaries that create "safety" in the relationship. Without safety, intimacy (into-me-you-see) is impossible. Some of the most important boundaries creating safety are SEXUAL BOUNDARIES. Mark and Steve talk raw and real about HOW to set sexu...