Porn, Betrayal, Sex and the Experts — PBSE
255 episodes - English - Latest episode: 13 days ago - ★★★★ - 112 ratingsTwo sex addicts in long-term successful recovery are ALSO world-class mental health professionals who specialize in porn and sex addiction recovery. Drawing on 40 years of combined personal and professional experience, Mark and Steve get RAW and REAL about HOW to overcome addiction, heal betrayal trauma and save your marriage. If you're struggling with addiction—we get it. Recovery is hard. We've been there. We'll help you take the fight to your addiction like never before. If you're married to an addict—we KNOW what it's like to nearly destroy a marriage! We'll help you understand the world of your husband's addiction and begin healing your betrayal trauma, regardless of what he decides to do. You don't have to stay stuck. You don't have to keep suffering. We've made all the mistakes so you don't have to. Take back your life. Take back your marriage. Let's do this together! This is the PBSE podcast.
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Episodes
As an Addict, How Can You Move Past Your Defensiveness to Truly Connect With Your Spouse?
October 26, 2021 12:00 - 24 minutes - 16.9 MBIn this episode, Mark and Steve respond to a PBSE listener's sincere inquiry about HOW to move through his defensiveness in response to his wife's legitimate trauma triggers. Here's his message and question to PBSE— I am a sex and love addict, I have found that I perceive my life in negative defensive ways. When my wife pulls away from me for mental safety I perceive it as her wanting to abandon me. How do I repair that? I don’t want to continue being so defensive. I understand where my def...
Has Your Addict Partner Truly "Forgotten" His Past Betrayals OR is He "Gaslighting" You?
October 19, 2021 12:00 - 19 minutes - 13.7 MBIn this episode, Mark and Steve take on a PBSE listener's question about her husband's "claim of not being able to remember the details of his previous disclosures to her. Several months after he finally came clean and told her "everything," he backtracked and denied ever disclosing those things. Here's her description of the situation— Since then, he has said he doesn’t remember having these conversations and confessing these things. After a few weeks of feeling crazy I searched my text me...
How Do I Overcome the Shame of My Past "Toxic Sex/Me-Centered" Behaviors?
October 12, 2021 12:00 - 27 minutes - 18.9 MBIn this episode Mark and Steve respond to a very heart-felt question by a PBSE listener— My wife and I recently listened to your episode on healthy sex vs toxic sex. I realize now that for our whole marriage, sex has been toxic and me-centered. I asked my wife if she identified with the part in the episode where you said some wives discover feeling abused in this process and she said yes. This crushed me. My question is: how do I process the shame and self-hate that comes with learning my w...
Is My Partner Lying About His Porn Use? How Can I Know?
October 05, 2021 12:00 - 22 minutes - 15.7 MBHow do you know if your partner is telling you the truth about his porn use and other sexual behaviors? A PBSE listener recently submitted this question and expressed her pain and confusion in a very raw and authentic way. In this episode, Mark and Steve provide some guidance— Is “pornified” (objectified) language and behavior an indication he is still acting out? In many cases, yes. Regardless of acting out, it's a clear sign that there are warped and unhealthy views about sex, sexuali...
How Can I Forgive a Man Who Has Spent Nearly Our Entire Marriage Lying?!
September 28, 2021 12:00 - 20 minutes - 14 MBIn this episode, Mark and Steve respond to a very heart-felt message and question from a PBSE listener: a spouse struggling to forgive her porn-addicted spouse— How can you work through feeling like you can't forgive your spouse? The deception, gaslighting, secrecy, disrespect and disregard for others feelings is causing contempt that grows by the day. How can I forgive a man that spent most of our marriage fantasies about sleeping with other women behind my back. He admits he liked the id...
How Can I Forgive a Man Who Has Spent Nearly Our Entire Marriage Lying?!
September 28, 2021 12:00 - 20 minutes - 14 MBIn this episode, Mark and Steve respond to a very heart-felt message and question from a PBSE listener: a spouse struggling to forgive her porn-addicted spouse— How can you work through feeling like you can't forgive your spouse? The deception, gaslighting, secrecy, disrespect and disregard for others feelings is causing contempt that grows by the day. How can I forgive a man that spent most of our marriage fantasies about sleeping with other women behind my back. He admits he liked the id...
How Do I Know if My Spouse is an Addict or Not?
September 21, 2021 12:00 - 23 minutes - 16.5 MBIn this episode, Mark and Steve address a common question submitted by a PBSE listener— I have listened to many episodes of your podcast. They have all been very helpful. My question is: Do you consider every man who views porn an “addict” or “sex addict?” My husband confessed to viewing pornography (no other acting out) for the last two and a half years. He can describe the events that led him to cross that line in our marriage. He has told me on two different occasions that he was tempted...
Unhealthy Relationships Can Help Fuel Porn Addiction—How Can You Move from Co-Dependency to Recovery?
September 14, 2021 12:00 - 24 minutes - 16.7 MBGrowing up, a PBSE listener suffered from an abusive relationship with his father, which was a BIG factor in the development and ongoing struggle with Porn Addiction. He submitted some questions to Mark and Steve— I've realized that improving my relationship with my Dad is key to my recovery. How do I approach him about this without letting out 20 years of anger and resentment? His approach to life is that anyone that can't solve their problems with willpower alone is just weak. What do I t...
When Your Partner is a Porn Addict, What Does “Healthy Connection” Look Like?
September 07, 2021 12:00 - 21 minutes - 14.7 MBIf your partner is a porn addict, is it even possible to have any level of "healthy connection"??? In this episode, Mark and Steve talk raw and open about what is possible and real when it comes to healthy connection when one spouse is recovering from porn addiction and the other is healing from betrayal trauma— How does Porn Addiction destroy connection? Can there be any healthy connection before he gets into recovery? Once in recovery, what does healthy connection look like? How can w...
Does Recovery & Healing require that we STOP Internet use, AVOID going out in Public and NEVER talk to the opposite sex?
August 31, 2021 17:00 - 22 minutes - 15.4 MBWhen it comes to daily life and being subjected to a "sexualized culture," what are the "healthy boundaries" in sex/porn addiction recovery? What can/should an addict-in-recovery STOP doing in "regular" life? What is too strict or too lax? When does an addict cross the line into rationalization, minimization and denial? How do we "collaborate" on this as a couple? When and how can we start to integrate ourselves back into regular, normal life—or can we ever do that! In this episode...
Your Chosen Path of Sexual Experience—Healthy or Unhealthy? Connecting or Disconnecting?
August 24, 2021 12:00 - 21 minutes - 14.7 MBIn working with people all over the world, we often get questions from couples regarding what IS and what is NOT healthy and connecting in their sexual relationship. In this episode, Mark and Steve get really DIRECT about WHY we bring certain expectations, practices, attitudes, etc., to the bedroom and HOW to begin opening up an authentic, vulnerable, healthy dialogue as a couple to take your Sexual Intimacy to a truly healthy and connected place. Learn more about Mark and Steve's new o...
Your Chosen Path of Sexual Experience—Healthy or Unhealthy? Connecting or Disconnecting?
August 24, 2021 12:00 - 21 minutes - 14.7 MBIn working with people all over the world, we often get questions from couples regarding what IS and what is NOT healthy and connecting in their sexual relationship. In this episode, Mark and Steve get really DIRECT about WHY we bring certain expectations, practices, attitudes, etc., to the bedroom and HOW to begin opening up an authentic, vulnerable, healthy dialogue as a couple to take your Sexual Intimacy to a truly healthy and connected place. Learn more about Mark and Steve's new o...
You are "Powerless" to Control What He’s Thinking During Sex—or Any Other Time!
August 17, 2021 12:00 - 26 minutes - 18.2 MBIn this episode, Mark and Steve address a HUGE issue many partners struggle with. Here's how a PBSE listener expressed it— My question is with all the porn videos and images he has seen how does the wife know what he is thinking while having sex with the wife? By this I mean how do we know, even after getting help, which he is not in any recovery, that he is not still bringing some porn scene, scenarios or acts he's seen, into the bedroom? The raw answer is: "You don't know!" and you CAN'...
You are "Powerless" to Control What He’s Thinking During Sex—or Any Other Time!
August 17, 2021 12:00 - 26 minutes - 18.2 MBIn this episode, Mark and Steve address a HUGE issue many partners struggle with. Here's how a PBSE listener expressed it— My question is with all the porn videos and images he has seen how does the wife know what he is thinking while having sex with the wife? By this I mean how do we know, even after getting help, which he is not in any recovery, that he is not still bringing some porn scene, scenarios or acts he's seen, into the bedroom? The raw answer is: "You don't know!" and you CAN'...
Should I have Daily Sex with my Husband so He can Recover?
August 10, 2021 12:00 - 27 minutes - 19.2 MBWe know—this title is ridiculous!!! It's intended to be totally SARCASTIC! But it's in response to a lengthy, raw, heart-felt, super authentic email we recently received from a PBSE listener. Her spouse is a sex/porn addict who is NOT in "real recovery," but insists that if she would give him daily sex, he could overcome his struggles. In this episode, Mark and Steve have a LOT to say about this!!! They get RAW and REAL about the TRUTH of this situation and HOW this good woman can proce...
Should I have Daily Sex with my Husband so He can Recover?
August 10, 2021 12:00 - 27 minutes - 19.2 MBWe know—this title is ridiculous!!! It's intended to be totally SARCASTIC! But it's in response to a lengthy, raw, heart-felt, super authentic email we recently received from a PBSE listener. Her spouse is a sex/porn addict who is NOT in "real recovery," but insists that if she would give him daily sex, he could overcome his struggles. In this episode, Mark and Steve have a LOT to say about this!!! They get RAW and REAL about the TRUTH of this situation and HOW this good woman can proce...
Stuck? Real Recovery & Healing REQUIRE a Trajectory!
August 03, 2021 12:00 - 26 minutes - 18.2 MBIt's SO easy to get STUCK in a negative, hame-based mindset; trapped on an endless rollercoaster of dark emotions; feel like your relationship is going nowhere or just downward! In this episode, Mark and Steve get real about their own personal experiences with being STUCK and STAGNATING in recovery; stuck in negative thinking; in anger, bitterness and resentments; in hopelessness or apathy; and stuck in a relationship rut! Allowing yourself to stay stuck is really just a "slow emotional de...
After the Betrayal of Porn Addiction, Can We Ever Have “Healthy Sex”?
July 27, 2021 12:00 - 30 minutes - 20.6 MBHere's a heart-felt question from a PBSE listener— Since learning that my husband of 44 years has been addicted to porn our entire marriage, a floodgate of emotions continue to wash over me. We are both committed to this union and he is working very hard in recovery. My question involves how do I trust and ignite my own healthy sexual expressions after years of dysfunction and “taking care” of a “needy” husband? In this episode, Mark and Steve discuss HOW to "weld together" the broken, sha...
After the Betrayal of Porn Addiction, Can We Ever Have “Healthy Sex”?
July 27, 2021 12:00 - 30 minutes - 20.6 MBHere's a heart-felt question from a PBSE listener— Since learning that my husband of 44 years has been addicted to porn our entire marriage, a floodgate of emotions continue to wash over me. We are both committed to this union and he is working very hard in recovery. My question involves how do I trust and ignite my own healthy sexual expressions after years of dysfunction and “taking care” of a “needy” husband? In this episode, Mark and Steve discuss HOW to "weld together" the broken, sha...
Do You STINK at Setting and Enforcing Healthy Boundaries?!
July 20, 2021 12:00 - 29 minutes - 20.5 MBA PBSE listener recently sent us this comment and request—You speak of the importance of establishing boundaries. While we understand that each couple is unique can you address more specifically or give examples of what healthy boundaries look like during recovery? Let's get real—based on how we were raised and what was "modeled" to us, nearly all of us have some issues with setting and enforcing boundaries. In fact, a lot of us STINK at setting healthy boundaries! (Mark and Steve REALLY S...
Letting Go of Control & Manipulation to WORK Your Own Recovery!
July 13, 2021 12:00 - 23 minutes - 16.2 MBIn this episode Mark and Steve openly address a PBSE listener's questions about what to do with an addict spouse in recovery who still tries to exert control and practice manipulation. - Why porn/sex addicts can tend to shift blame and accountability. - Addicts can have a strong affinity for relying on external factors for their emotional stability. - Why real recovery begins and ends with "ME." - We have NO control over our partner's perceptions—these are "their reality"—stop tryin...
Navigating Summertime and Sex Addiction!
July 06, 2021 12:00 - 20 minutes - 14 MBSummertime can be a HUGE trigger for porn addicts in recovery and for spouses healing from betrayal trauma! As individuals and as couples, HOW can you SUCCESSFULLY navigate the visual and emotional "minefield" of summer? Learn more about Mark and Steve's new online program—"Dare to Connect!" You have live access to Mark and Steve three times a week--addicts, spouses and couples! Visit—daretoconnectnow.com Find out more about Steve Moore at: Ascension Counseling Learn more about Mark Kast...
Let Go of "Emotional Wallowing" & Embrace "Vision & Meaning"
June 29, 2021 12:00 - 26 minutes - 17.9 MBWhen we rely on "sheer motivation" to break out of porn addiction, this will easily plunge us into a pit where we become stuck in "emotional wallowing."' Then to escape the wallowing, we move back into addiction outlets—and the "wallowing cycle" spins around and around. In this episode, Mark and Steve guide listeners in HOW to move out of emotional wallowing and into Vision and Meaning. Learn more about Mark and Steve's new online program—"Dare to Connect!" You have live access to Mark a...
Father's Day—Addiction & Trauma Trigger or Healing Event?
June 22, 2021 12:00 - 27 minutes - 19 MBThere are MANY "triggers" that can impact and even derail addiction recovery and healing from betrayal trauma. One trigger that can blindside us are significant, meaningful events like holidays, birthdays, anniversaries and more. In this episode, Mark and Steve talk about their personal struggles with "Father's Day" and how it has been a trigger for both of them. Their raw and real personal examples will help you begin to uncover the core emotions/cause of your own addiction and trauma. An...
Why is Mindfulness & Connecting with Myself SO Hard?!
June 15, 2021 12:00 - 23 minutes - 16.4 MBWe constantly talk about how and why “mindfulness” and CONNECTING with your True, Authentic Self is SO critical to recovery and healthy living! Yet, when it comes to stepping back to be an “observer” and “watcher” of our thoughts, feelings and emotions—WHY can it be SO HARD?! It’s way easy to get pulled into GOING TO WAR and battling it out with our brains—seeing the brain (especially the ego-addict-Limbic System) as the ENEMY! There is a way to work WITH your brain and not against it—a ...
Erectile Dysfunction and Your "Arousal Template"
June 08, 2021 12:00 - 26 minutes - 18.3 MBA podcast listener asked about her husband's risky, bizarre, self-centered sexual behaviors; his Erectile Dysfunction; and how these are related to his porn/sex addiction. In this episode Mark and Steve talk raw and real about these issues. They relate this to their own experiences with addiction and the many clients they've worked with over the decades. They discuss: - How porn/sex addiction radically alters the "Arousal Template" resulting in a dramatic impact on healthy sexuality. - ...
I’m Engaged to a Porn Addict—What Should I Do?
June 01, 2021 12:00 - 22 minutes - 15.5 MBIn this episode, Mark and Steve respond to a listener who is engaged to a porn addict. She submitted a message through PBSEpodast.com describing her situation: she and her fiance have been together for two years. He has regularly used pornography during that time and she has let him know she is NOT OK with it. He promised he was getting help to quit porn but she discovered he's been lying about that. She also discovered he's been untruthful about other aspects of his life outside of the por...
I’m Engaged to a Porn Addict—What Should I Do?
June 01, 2021 12:00 - 22 minutes - 15.8 MBIn this episode, Mark and Steve respond to a listener who is engaged to a porn addict. She submitted a message through PBSEpodast.com describing her situation: she and her fiance have been together for two years. He has regularly used pornography during that time and she has let him know she is NOT OK with it. He promised he was getting help to quit porn but she discovered he's been lying about that. She also discovered he's been untruthful about other aspects of his life outside of the por...
Is Physical Touch the “Love Language” of Most Porn/Sex Addicts?
May 25, 2021 12:00 - 23 minutes - 16.1 MBIn this episode, Mark and Steve address and excellent question submitted by a PBSE listener— In the book written by Gary Chapman it talks about the 5 Love Languages. My husband says his love language is physical touch. Are most sex addicts love language physical touch? As a spouse how do I honor my needs and authentically respect myself? {there are days I don't want to make eye contact, much less touch him after the betrayal} How do I make sense of this? - If a spouse is a codependent, u...
Moving from Addiction to Connection: Reconciliation with Family
May 18, 2021 12:00 - 23 minutes - 15.8 MBIn this episode, Mark and Steve respond to a question submitted by a PBSE listener: My husband has been in active recovery since earlier this year. Your podcast has been instrumental in his recovery. My almost adult children are aware of the porn addiction and witnessed and were victims of his controlling, abusive and angry attitude during his active addiction. Do you have any advice to help him reconnect in a healthy way? Thank you. You cannot move from addiction to reconciliation quickly...
From Surviving to Thriving in Your Marriage: A Vision for Addicts
May 10, 2021 20:00 - 19 minutes - 13.2 MBIn this episode Mark and Steve use the analogy of a unique little bird known as the "Bower Bird." HOW can we guys who are in recovery from addiction do the "little" things each day that move us from merely surviving in marriage to thriving?! Learn more about Mark and Steve's new online program—"Dare to Connect!" You have live access to Mark and Steve three times a week--addicts, spouses and couples! Visit—daretoconnectnow.com Find out more about Steve Moore at: Ascension Counseling Learn...
When is it Time to “Shake Up” Your Recovery and Healing?
May 04, 2021 12:00 - 22 minutes - 15.8 MBYour recovery and healing are always at risk of stagnation, burnout, boredom, overwhelm, relapse and other potential "disrupters." In this episode Mark and Steve talk about how to regularly "shake up" your recovery and healing so they stay fresh, on-track and ever progressing toward greater peace, happiness, fulfillment and connection. Learn more about Mark and Steve's new online program—"Dare to Connect!" You have live access to Mark and Steve three times a week--addicts, spouses and co...
How Inadequate Self-Care Sabotages Your Recovery and Healing!
April 27, 2021 12:00 - 31 minutes - 21.6 MBMark and Steve discuss why Self-Care is SO crucial to overcoming porn addiction, healing from betrayal trauma and mending your marriage. And why it is so often taken for granted or overlooked entirely. Very importantly, Mark and Steve talk openly about their own struggles with self-care and the barriers that often get in the way of this essential element in healing and recovery. Learn more about Mark and Steve's new online program—"Dare to Connect!" You have live access to Mark and Steve ...
The Wall Between Betrayal Trauma and Healing/Connection
April 20, 2021 12:00 - 25 minutes - 17.7 MBIn Episode 66, Mark and Steve explored the walls an addict spouse often throws up in defense against his betrayal-trauma-suffering spouse beginning to "speak her truth." In this episode, Mark and Steve talk about the totally legitimate thoughts, feelings and emotions triggered by Betrayal Trauma that can create a huge barrier to connection and healing. What are the symptoms of Betrayal Trauma? How can these create walls that hinder or completely block out healing and connection? What are th...
The WALL Between Conflict and Connection
April 13, 2021 12:00 - 26 minutes - 18.1 MBA BIG part of beginning to heal a marriage marred by pornography addiction, is for the addict spouse to provide a SAFE space for the betrayed spouse to honestly and openly express her pain and speak her truth. But when she does, it's very common (for a host of reasons) for the addict spouse to immediately throw up a WALL of self-defense and resistance. In this episode, Mark and Steve talk raw and real about the walls they both piled up when their wives tried to be totally authentic and spea...
How Can a Struggling Couple Come Out of "Relationship Limbo"?
April 02, 2021 19:00 - 29 minutes - 20.1 MBIn this episode, Mark and Steve respond to a recent email from a listener— “I’d like to know how is it that your wives were willing and able to stay in your marriages through all the porn and affairs? My son-in-law is an addict and my daughter can’t see how she can stay married to him. She’s willing to be friends for the sake of the kids but she doesn’t know how she can stay. He is not yet admitting he’s an addict. She’s never felt loved in their young 5-year marriage.” What is the answer ...
Can I Ever Go Back to Porn?
March 30, 2021 14:00 - 25 minutes - 17.3 MBIn this episode, Mark and Steve openly address a common issue they faced in their own recoveries, and one they see often with their clients—"Can I ever go back to porn?" What this means to most men in recovery is—"Can I ever just live like a 'normal' guy?" Do I have to do this "recovery stuff" the rest of my life?! What about masturbation, provocative movies and entertainment, certain sexual practices? What are the boundaries and can these change after I have a period of sobriety? And ...
What it Takes to SUCCEED in Recovery and Healing!
March 23, 2021 12:00 - 26 minutes - 18.5 MBIn this episode, Mark and Steve give listeners a window into what they've learned from their own recoveries and what they've experienced over many years as therapists. What DOES it take to truly succeed in your recovery and healing efforts? Find out more about Steve Moore at: Ascension Counseling Learn more about Mark Kastleman at: Reclaim Counseling Services Here's a great article on the "Brain Science" behind porn and sex addiction—https://www.reclaimcounselingservices.com/brain-sc...
Defining "Slips" and "Relapses"
March 16, 2021 12:00 - 19 minutes - 13.2 MBWhen a couple is working together through addiction recovery and healing betrayal trauma, it can be VERY difficult to understand the differences between a "Relapse" and a "Slip." In this episode, Mark and Steve discuss WHY there should be separate definitions for a "Slip" and for a "Relapse"—why the distinction at all? How can a couple navigate the differences and use these definitions to aid in effective recovery, promote healing and increase connection? Find out more about Steve Moore ...
Where is the line between “loving” someone and “trusting” them?
March 09, 2021 13:00 - 32 minutes - 22.1 MBIn this episode, Mark and Steve address a PBSE listener's heart-felt dilemma. After discovering her spouse's addiction to porn and feeling the intense betrayal, she was justifiably angry, hurt and numb. Here's how she expressed it— "It breaks my heart that I have these feelings for someone I love so much. It makes me angry with myself and him. All the years of lies have just turned me somewhat cold. I don't want to be bitter. How can I get back to a place of empathy and compassion?" In thi...
Spiritual Safety and Sexual Intimacy: You Can Have Both!
March 02, 2021 13:00 - 32 minutes - 22.1 MBIn this episode, Mark and Steve address a questions submitted by a listener— "Can you discuss the dynamic of being the spouse of an addict who is not a believer? In my marriage there has been sexual addiction and he is 2 1/2 years into recovery/sobriety but we are now dealing with the dynamic of a sexless marriage. How can we make the transition to a healthy sexual connection void of a spiritual connection?" First, we need to be clear about what "healthy sex" is and is not. (for a deeper d...
Is it "OK" to "Offend" Your Partner?
February 23, 2021 13:00 - 32 minutes - 22.1 MBIn this episode, Mark and Steve address some very poignant questions submitted by a listener: "What do you do when the proof is in the pudding that your partner is a sexual addict but they refuse to acknowledge it?I asked him for a separation at the beginning of Dec hoping that would shake him up a bit … He has agreed to couples counseling but is "offended" at my suggestion that he has a sex addiction. There have been many discoveries over our 17 years. Is there a way to help him see or ar...
Great! He’s in Recovery . . . but What is He Thinking?
February 16, 2021 13:00 - 33 minutes - 23 MBIn this episode, Mark and Steve address a recent question by a listener—a very honest, legitimate, excellent question— "Hi there, my recovering spouse and I LOVE your podcasts. it has brought us closer through sharing our thoughts on episodes. One thing I would love to hear your take on as a betrayed spouse is how on earth do you as an addict keep those images and thoughts of porn and past sexual encounters out of your head on a daily basis? I would think it would be really easy to "remini...
Great! He’s in Recovery . . . but What is He Thinking?
February 16, 2021 13:00 - 33 minutes - 23 MBIn this episode, Mark and Steve address a recent question by a listener—a very honest, legitimate, excellent question— "Hi there, my recovering spouse and I LOVE your podcasts. it has brought us closer through sharing our thoughts on episodes. One thing I would love to hear your take on as a betrayed spouse is how on earth do you as an addict keep those images and thoughts of porn and past sexual encounters out of your head on a daily basis? I would think it would be really easy to "remini...
Why Would the Man Who Loves Me, "Gaslight" Me?!
February 09, 2021 13:00 - 33 minutes - 22.9 MBIn this episode, Mark and Steve talk raw and open about an extremely destructive behavior that porn addicts engage in with their partners—GASLIGHTING! Mark and Steve talk about their own gaslighting and narcissistic tendencies during their dark addiction years. And they also share WHY there is GREAT HOPE even in marriage relationships where gaslighting is currently going on. - What are the underlying causes of gaslighting--WHY do so many porn addicts engage in this behavior? - What is ...
What Does it Take to Get "SERIOUS" about Real Change?
February 02, 2021 13:00 - 32 minutes - 22.1 MBIn this episode Mark and Steve speak openly about what it took for them to get to the rock bottom place where they were ready to start down the path of real change. They also acknowledge that everyone is different--"it takes what it takes." Learn how YOU can come to the place where you're ready to take solid, deliberate steps onto the path of breaking free from addiction and healing from betrayal trauma. Find out more about Steve Moore at: Ascension Counseling Learn more about Mark Kast...
The Addict's Journey from Escape & Avoidance to Authenticity & Transparency
January 26, 2021 13:00 - 32 minutes - 22.3 MBIt has been said, "We are only as sick as our secrets." Another way of coming at this would be: "Living in secrecy keeps our addiction alive." In this episode Mark and Steve share their own past personal struggles with authenticity and transparency. And, they answer some common questions— - WHY is it so terrifying to allow others to truly "see us" just as we are on the inside without the outside facade of masks, personas, guardedness, acting, story-telling, half-truths, selective disclo...
How to Navigate Mental Illness AND Addiction/Betrayal Trauma
January 19, 2021 13:00 - 33 minutes - 23.1 MBMental illness and addiction, as well as betrayal trauma, can be parallel struggles! And it can be very difficult to understand where one starts and the other begins, or which one leads to the other. In this episode, Mark talks raw and real about his own struggles with mental illness that began as a small child and how that morphed into and ran alongside his decades of addiction. Mark and Steve also discuss some important aspects of mental illness and addiction/betrayal trauma— - Addic...
Should We Hide Sex Addiction and Betrayal Trauma From Our Kids?
January 12, 2021 13:00 - 37 minutes - 25.8 MBIt's hard enough navigating through porn/sex addiction and betrayal trauma as adults! But what happens when we're raising kids at the same time? What should we disclose to our kids, if anything at all? And if we do disclose—how, when and how much should we share? And how can we create an environment where we don't pass on the same dysfunctional behaviors to our children? How do we help them to grow up and be sexually and relationally healthy? In this episode, Mark talks raw and real abou...
How to be Emotionally Healthy as an Individual and Couple in 2021
January 05, 2021 13:00 - 38 minutes - 26.5 MBWe're all SO glad 2020 is over! In fact, we should all receive a t-shirt that reads, "I Survived 2020!" And we're all hoping 2021 will be SO much better. But . . . the reality is, this year could bring some challenges even more daunting than last year! We just don't know. The key is to seek emotional health and resilience for ourselves personally and as a couple-ship, NO MATTER WHAT this year brings! In this episode, Mark and Steve share some practical, in-the-trenches ways to maintain and...