It's My Pleasure

Ep. 142: The Importance of Developing Desire & How To Do It

Have you wanted to improve your sex life and just noticed that you honestly don’t have that much desire FOR it? So you get stuck, like how am I actually supposed to make this better if I can’t even get in the mood to start with? Wanting sex, not feeling tired for it or not being in the mood seem to be the main hindrances for most women in having a more pleasurable sex life. Like I want to really want it, but how? Don’t worry, I got you. Desire is one of the most fascinating topics for me and...

Ep. 141: Why Desire To Better Your Sex Life Isn't Enough & How To Take Action

Wanting to do something to change your sex life is an AMAZING first step, but often times it isn’t enough to actually get us taking the action to shake things up. Desire is part of the equation, but our desire is often times enough to overcome some of the unconscious fears and doubts that we ALL have. In this episode I share some real client stories as well as some of my deeply personal fears I had about improving my sex life. You will find actual practices to do at home at the end of this l...

Ep. 140: What To Do When You're Taking Too Long

Are you afraid you are taking to long to get aroused and orgasm? Listen, if so, you are so not alone. This is one of the most common worries among women when it comes to their sexual ‘performance’ is how long things are taking and how to move things along. In this episode you will learn if you are in fact taking too long and if so how to move things along to the orgasmic outcome you are hoping for. What You’ll Learn from this Episode: The assumptions we make about the length of time it tak...

Ep. 139: Proactive Pleasure

Have you ever decided you really want to have something in your life or have your life look differently than it does right now, but then wonder why it doesn’t happen the way you imagined? Well this episode is for you - where I will explain to you the concept of being proactive in creating what you want and specifically why it is crucial we learn how to be proactive with our pleasure if we want to lead a sexually satisfied and pleasured life. What You’ll Learn from this Episode: What being ...

Ep. 138: Don't Poo-poo Your Pleasure

Hey have you ever had a great time, like legit good sex, but then afterwards you started second-guess it? You start being judgey about what went down and ruin the celebratory sex you had because all the sudden your brain convinces you that it wasn’t actually that good for x, y or z reasons?? Kind of like the walk of shame. It felt good, your body loved it and YET your brain wants to de-legitimize your pleasure because perhaps it wasn’t what you have unconsciously decided is ‘aspirational’ se...

Ep. 137: The #1 Mindset Shift To Experience More Pleasure Now

It is easy to imagine yourself basking in juicy sensual pleasure when you have the time, the space and the connection. But it is a whole other thing when that is NOT what you are currently experiencing. To really experience the pleasure you want isn’t about waiting until the star are aligned, but instead learning HOW to be the kind of woman who experiences being turned on and pleasured - right now - as things are - in your everyday life. And this episode will share with the first (and crucia...

Ep. 136: 6 Ways To Feel Less Awkward During Sex

Listen, sex can be super awkward for a variety of reasons - first of all - it is two naked bodies trying to entangle in a pleasurable way - awkward. Not to mention the different personality types, desires and skill & comfort levels when it comes to sexual intimacy. So if you have ever felt awkward, consider yourself to BE awkward or know that trying certain things would ring in the awkward bell - then this episode is for you. What You’ll Learn from this Episode: How awkwardness can impede ...

Ep. 135: Unapologetic Sex

We come to the sheets with so many ’sorries’ as women and it is time we put an end to it, enter Unapologetic Sex. Have you ever notice there is this subtle, slump of the shoulders and dumpy energy that you can bring to the bedroom sometimes. Like “oh I am sorry its taking me so long to cum” if you orgasm at all. Or ugh, I am sorry I am so wish-washy, awkward or I don’t know what I want. It feels ick and it for sure doesn’t make a fun and pleasurable experience for you OR your partner. In t...

Ep. 134: 4 Lessons We Can Learn From Distance & How It Increases Desire

They say distance makes the heart grow fonder and it is true, it really does - plus it gives a good ole’ boost to that desire for your lover. But perhaps, like me, you don’t always have the option to be away from your partner. In this episode we will explore four important lessons that we can learn from what distance offers us and exactly how it increases desire. And then what are some things we can do to recreate those same sort of experiences so that even if you are with your partner 24/7...

Ep. 133: How “Maybe” Might Just Change Your Life

I am always up for a little mind trick hack, one that is easy to remember in the moment and helps me move forward on my long-term goals and aspirations. And ‘maybe’ my friends is just the mindset hack you have all been wanting. Quick and easy to remember and a simple habit you can implement right now. Use maybe to experience more pleasure, open up to curiosity or simply to set some much needed boundaries around your time and body. What You’ll Learn from this Episode: How I recently used mayb...

Ep. 133: How "Maybe" Might Just Change Your Life

I am always up for a little mind trick hack, one that is easy to remember in the moment and helps me move forward on my long-term goals and aspirations. And ‘maybe’ my friends is just the mindset hack you have all been wanting. Quick and easy to remember and a simple habit you can implement right now. Use maybe to experience more pleasure, open up to curiosity or simply to set some much needed boundaries around your time and body. What You’ll Learn from this Episode: How I recently used ma...

Ep. 132: 4 Ways Nature Improves Your Sensuality

Have you ever noticed how nature can immediately help you feel more at ease? Or even for me, I have had experiences where it feels like my pain and discomfort are lifted the moment I immerse myself in nature. I don’t think anyone would argue how energizing and calming being in nature can feel. But is it just in our minds or is there science to support it? In this weeks episode not only do we dive into the scientific studies of the profound impact nature can have on our overall well-being, ...

Ep. 131: How Bad Sex Can Be Used To Your Advantage

We’ve all had it, bad sex. And it is something that we all try to avoid? But at what cost?!? Trying to avoid bad sex could actually be holding you back from the mind-blowing sex you ARE wanting to have. In this week’s episode we explore what tends to happen when the boot knocking isn’t lighting anyone up and how we can actually learn and improve our sex lives by the willingness to have more bad sex! What You’ll Learn from this Episode: How to handle when you things don’t go as planned Th...

Ep. 130: 5 Habits That Keep You From Receiving & How To Open Up More

Do you ever feel closed off from receiving? Like something in you makes it so hard to open up to receiving compliments, help, pleasure or even money? Like somehow you are just repelling all the the good stuff instead of bringing it in? This is such a normal experience, especially for those socialized as women. We tend to have a knack for giving, sometimes to the point of depletion, but receiving? Um not so much. In order to actually experience pleasure in your life, pleasure in your sexua...

Ep. 129: How Contrast/Opposites Can Be Our Greatest Tool In Self-Growth

Do you feel like it is hard to fully lean into a new way of being when you aren’t exactly sure WHAT that even looks like? You aren’t alone. Often times when When we are trying to create MORE of something in our future that we aren’t experiencing right NOW it can be challenging to grapple with what that actually looks like, feels like and who we would be acting from that place. Using contrast and opposites is an incredible tool for giving us more insight into exactly HOW to do that. This wee...

Ep. 128: 4 Overlooked Reasons Why Motherhood Takes a Toll on Your Sex Life & 5 Steps To Break The Cycle Pt. 2

Last week we started a conversation around the extra challenging circumstances that many mothers face and how these can can put a damper on the sex life. And to be honest, I got fired up, because these are just a handful of the OVERLOOKED ways that mother’s put pleasure on the backburner and I am tired of it. Not in a balmy - I am tired you are acting this way - more like I am tired we have been dealing with this for so long and we don’t even realize there is a BETTER more juicy way TO BE LI...

Ep. 127: 4 Overlooked Reasons Why Motherhood Takes a Toll on Your Sex Life & 5 Steps To Break The Cycle

As summer is upon on (at least when this episode was recorded) I am reminded often what we take on as mothers. From coaching clients who are mamas to being one myself I find so many similarities in how we approach our pleasure and the impact that motherhood has on our sex life. There are of course obvious ways that our sex life is impacted - late nights, sleep deprivation, pregnancy/post-partum, privacy issues etc. But I wanted to spend some time focusing on some of the overlooked ways that...

Ep. 126: Why Improving Your Sex Life is Hard

However, GETTING to the place of working on your sex life is hardly easy. And it isn’t because the process is hard, it is because so many beliefs we have about sex actually make WORKING on our sex life harder than it needs to be. In this episode I share with you some of the pervasive beliefs I see that keep us from creating the most orgasmic intimate connection. Whether you are already dedicated to improving your sex life or are just curious about it, this episode will offer you a totally d...

Ep. 125: The Mind-Body Connection You Must Understand to Elevate Your Experience of Pleasure

Have you ever wondered why changing your thinking is NOT making a huge difference in how you feel in your body? Like despite how much effort you make in trying to get your brain on board with the possibility of pleasure it still doesn’t seem to FEEL much different in your body? This happens a lot. Mostly because we don’t talk about the influence that the body has on the mind. Mindset and thought work can only take us so far when it comes to the experience of pleasure. In this episode I exp...

Ep. 124: Questions About Joining Better Sex in 90 Group Coaching Program

On this episode of the It’s My Pleasure Podcast I share a LIVE training I did inside the Sey Revamp about alllllll the fears and questions that come up around joining Better Sex in 90 Days. Because the DO come up.    You want to join to the Better Sex in 90 Days Program and really just continue this journey BUT there are things that your brain is bringing up for you, like always happens when we make a big decision, right?    Of course all of the things are going to happen when you're making a...

Ep. 123: 5 Steps to Creating REAL Change In Your Sex Life

On this episode of the It’s My Pleasure podcast we break down 5 steps to help you create real change in your sex life. Making REAL change is different than being half assed about it, you are saying “oh yeah, that’d be nice” you are saying “I am ready for things to be different” and mean it. The challenge is change isn’t easy, meaning it requires effort. No it isn’t because you're lazy or you aren’t all the way committed, it simply because the brain resists making changes because it takes e...

Ep. 122: How Small Shifts Can Lead To Orgasmic Returns w/ Elizabeth

On this episode of the It’s My Pleasure Podcast the brilliant Elizabeth Salazar joins me in conversation about how impactful small shifts of the mind can be and her experience of participating in Better Sex in 90 Days. Elizabeth reminisces about listening to this podcast with her husband a few months back and reflecting on how different things are now in her sex life vs. back then. She shares some of her own big ah-ha moments and the mental shifts she made that created orgasmic results. No...

Ep. 121: Listener Q&A: Arousal, Playfulness & Being Too Tired

On this episode of It’s My Pleasure Podcast I answer some of the questions I have received from you - the listeners! I chose these questions as I feel they are most relevant to many of you and I hope you are able to gain a new perspective on each topic. Listen in this week as I dive into how to become more playful, what to do if you feel like you are taking to long to become aroused and how to handle having a sex life when you are simply too tired (this listener from young kiddos). Links ...

Ep. 120: It’s FUN To Work On Your Sex Life – Interview with BS90 Grads Brittany & Lindsay

Working on your sex life can be loads of FUN! Despite the fact that sex and pleasure tend to be is taboo topics, tied to shame and guilt, growing in this area doesn't have to be miserable. Talking about sex, connecting with our bodies and our partners, can be a lot of fun! In this episode, I bring on two recent graduates of the Better Sex In 90 Days program, Brittany and Lindsay. In our conversation, we talk about why they chose to do this work, some of the impacts it has had on them both...

Ep. 120: It's FUN To Work On Your Sex Life - Interview with BS90 Grads Brittany & Lindsay

Working on your sex life can be loads of FUN! Despite the fact that sex and pleasure tend to be is taboo topics, tied to shame and guilt, growing in this area doesn’t have to be miserable.   Talking about sex, connecting with our bodies and our partners, can be a lot of fun!   In this episode, I bring on two recent graduates of the Better Sex In 90 Days program, Brittany and Lindsay. In our conversation, we talk about why they chose to do this work, some of the impacts it has had on the...

Ep. 119: Feeling Alone in Your Sexual Struggles

On this episode of It’s My Pleasure Podcast I share how isolating it can feel in our struggles with sex and pleasure. Pain and suffering are a universal experience yet when we are in the midst of challenges, especially when it comes to our sex lives, it can feel like we are on an island all alone.  In this episode, I discuss loneliness, it’s impact on our pleasure, and how we can peel back from the “otherness” so that we can connect with ourselves and create the result of being a pleasured ...

Ep. 118: The Impact of Perfectionism on Your Pleasure

Perfectionism and pleasure are oil and water. They don’t mix! Perfectionists set impossible standards for ourselves, and when we are unable to meet these expectations, we are in our heads and say mean things to ourselves. And this certainly is not an environment where pleasure can enter. I am a recovering perfectionist, and despite all the work I have done in this area of my life, it is still there. The key is to be able to identify those thoughts and create awareness so that we can love our...

Ep. 117: But What If It Doesn't Work? Then What? with Leigha May

On this episode of It’s My Pleasure, one of my all time favorite clients Leigha May joins me to talk about her time working with me 1:1. Growing up in an extreme conservative Christian culture Leigha had already known that there were beliefs from her upbringing holding her back in her sexuality. But having done a lot of work around healing her past already there was still this sense of, ‘I guess this is as good as it gets’. Leigha had been following me on social media and listening to the po...

Ep. 117: But What If It Doesn’t Work? Then What? with Leigha May

On this episode of It's My Pleasure, one of my all time favorite clients Leigha May joins me to talk about her time working with me 1:1. Growing up in an extreme conservative Christian culture Leigha had already known that there were beliefs from her upbringing holding her back in her sexuality. But having done a lot of work around healing her past already there was still this sense of, 'I guess this is as good as it gets'. Leigha had been following me on social media and listening to the pod...

Ep. 116: How Often Should You Have Sex?

When it comes to sex, how many times a week is considered “normal”? This is one of the most common questions I get in my DMs on social media. So many people want to know what is considered normal, or how often most people are having sex, so that they can use this as a way to see how they measure up. A lot of my clients come to me because they feel like they aren’t having sex enough, either for their own preference, or that of their partners, and they think that this means something about who...

Ep. 115: Talking To Your Partner About Sex Coaching

So you’ve been listening to this podcast for a while now, and you want to take this work to the next level and it’s time to bring your partner into the conversation. Talking about pleasure and your sex life can be taboo and a bit of a minefield when bringing this up with your partner. Sex has a way of making us feel vulnerable in a way that nothing else can.    In this episode, I share with you how to bring this up with your partner, whether you are the one who wants to take this work to t...

Ep. 114: S.O.U.L. Centered Communication w/ Maggie Reyes

What if there was a simple tool to help you and your partner be able to communicate better, and be able to talk about sex better? That’s the exact thing that Maggie Reyes is here to talk about today! She is a dear friend of mine and a marriage coach, who helps high-achieving women have five-star marriages. In our conversation today, we talk about just how crucial communication is for a marriage and the sex within that relationship.  Maggie breaks down soul-centered communication, how to ide...

Ep. 113: Diet For Great Sex Interview w/ Christine DeLozier

On this podcast we usually talk about what we can do with our brains in order to tap into our pleasure, but I’m also interested in sharing with you other ways we can accentuate our bodies to experience greater pleasure. What if you could make some changes to your diet and it would allow you to have more pleasure and better sex? This is the exact thing that I talk about with my guest on this episode, Christine DeLozier. She is an acupuncturist and holistic nutritional counselor, and she recen...

Ep. 112: He Always (Or Only) Wants Sex

When you have the thought, “All he wants is sex from me, so I should want to have sex with him,” how does that feel in your body? Does that allow you to feel pleasure and lit up and turned on? Absolutely not! So many women come to me with this belief that all their partners want is sex, or that there’s a problem with them because they don’t have the same level of desire as their partner. They then assign meaning to it which creates negative emotions and feelings, none of which create space f...

Ep. 111: 5 Tips To Improve Married Sex Life

How about a quickie?? In this short episode, I wanted to get right down to it and share 5 really quick things you can do to activate your sex life. In this podcast, I like to focus on helping you really build your mind-body connection and teach you how to use your brain to understand your mindset and the beliefs you have. We also take a look at how to create new thoughts that allow for you to feel more connected to yourself and your partner. However, in this episode, I really want to share 5...

Ep. 110: Is This As Good As It Gets?! - Interview with Whitney

I hear from clients and women all the time that they are unhappy with their sex lives, but they are afraid to do this work because of what they may find out about themselves, and how it could possibly negatively affect other areas of their lives. This was also true for my client Whitney, who has come on the podcast this week to share with you the powerful transformation she experienced through facing her fears and really setting her relationship with herself as a priority in a whole new way....

Ep. 110: Is This As Good As It Gets?! – Interview with Whitney

Women are unhappy with their sex lives, this is no new news. But despite that it isn't all that in the bedroom, they are afraid to do this work because of what they may find out about themselves, and how it could possibly negatively affect other areas of their lives. This was also true for my client Whitney, who was unsure where this work would take her after coming out last year as bisexual. Whitney has come on the podcast this week to share with you the powerful transformation she experienc...

Ep. 109: At Home In Her Body – Interview with Morgan Renaldo

I know you have heard me talk about the transformations that my clients get, but there is something so powerful about hearing from the clients themselves and having them on to share their stories. And that is why I have invited Morgan on the podcast this week! She is a graduate of my Better Sex in 90 Days program and I have continued to see her grow through the ongoing community calls I offer to my clients, in order to help with continual support.  She came to the program as a bit of a skep...

Ep. 108: Getting Turned ON

I am surrounded by high achieving women who are taking it to the next level in all areas of their lives. I have clients and listeners who are expanding and growing their businesses, raising children, are actively involved in their communities, yet, they feel like something is missing. Many women have reached out to me and told me just how exhausted they are, and I get it! In this special episode I want to share with you an upcoming training on how to become a turned on woman. Being turned o...

Ep. 107: Sexual Fantasies: Yuck or Yum?

Sexual fantasies can be a lot of fun as something to incorporate into your pleasure and maybe even something you share with your partner. However, for many of the women I work with, fantasies bring on feelings of shame and judgement. A lot of clients are worried about what their fantasies might say about them and who they are, especially if it is out of alignment with how they view themselves. Let’s really take a look at understanding where these fantasies come from and how to remove the gui...

Ep. 106: Your Inner Bitch Needs Love Too

Your inner bitch. We’ve all got one. You know, that voice tells you you aren’t good enough, that makes you doubt yourself, and is so judgemental about your every move. Not only is she saying things to you when you’re having a sex session that can take you out of the moment, but also impacting your pleasure even when she is chirping in about your parenting or procrastinating or whatever else.   In this episode, I share with you some of the things my inner bitch has said to me in the past, h...

Ep. 105: Incredible Sex: Planting New Beliefs

I don’t know about you, but now that it is spring, I have been spending a lot of time in my garden recently. This has really got me thinking about the metaphor that I got from a mentor of mine that our minds are like gardens. If left unattended, weeds and plants can grow and sprawl out in ways we never imagined, causing damage and preventing our gardens from being what we truly want them to be. In the same way, old thoughts and beliefs, if not tended to, can also have this same effect. In th...

Ep. 104: Motherhood & Sex – Overcoming Obstacles To Pleasure

Happy Mother’s Day ! I want to celebrate all of the momma’s out there who are investing in their pleasure, and talk about the specific hurdles I see for my client’s who are mother’s and the ability for them to connect with their pleasure. As a momma myself, I see you, and I see the challenges you face. I want this episode to serve as a reminder to put yourself first, your pleasure as a priority, and to hold yourself with love and kindness. So often, when women become mothers, that serves as t...

Ep. 104: Motherhood & Sex - Overcoming Obstacles To Pleasure

With Mother’s Day coming up, I want to celebrate all of the momma’s out there who are investing in their pleasure, and talk about the specific hurdles I see for my client’s who are mother’s and the ability for them to connect with their pleasure. I want to share that as a momma myself, I see you, and I see the challenges you face. I want this episode to serve as a reminder to put yourself first, your pleasure as a priority, and to hold yourself with love and kindness. So often, when women be...

Ep. 103: The 411 on Foreplay

I’m going to paint a picture for you. You have spent your day being a high achieving woman, taking care of your business and your kids. It’s the end of the night, and you know that you have sex on the schedule, but it’s one of the last things on your mind. You’ve made a commitment to yourself and your partner, but you are tired and aren’t thinking about sex as something that you want to do. So you decide to follow through, but you cut out foreplay in order to make the sex session as quick as...

Ep. 102: My Story of Becoming a Sex Coach

Ep. 101: Creating Profit & Pleasure with Master Coach Stacey Boehman

So many of the women that listen to this podcast and who I work with in the Better Sex in 90 Days program are high achievers. They come to me and ask me for how they can make time for pleasure when they are already so busy with their careers and their families. In this episode, I am delighted to share with you a conversation I had with my friend and coach, Stacey Boehman. Stacey is one of the most ambitious and high-achieving women that I know. In our conversation, she shares insight into ho...

Ep. 100: Meeting Your Match - Interview with The Husband Himself

Ep. 100: Meeting Your Match – Interview with The Husband Himself

Hello, pleasure-seekers! I am so excited to have brought you 100 episodes where I share the mindset tools of diving into, defining, and prioritizing your pleasure. In celebration of this milestone, I wanted to do something a little different and bring my husband George on the podcast. As you will hear in this episode, he may not always be comfortable talking about sex, particularly with an audience, but he has a lot of insight into what it looks like to be on a pleasure-seeking journey from t...

Ep. 99: 6 Daily Habits To Spark Desire

Most of us in long-term relationships have faced that time in our lives where it feels like all desire for our partners have faded away. Trust me. It’s not you. You’re not broken. This is a natural thing that happens in our brains as we get comfortable and move through the demands and responsibilities in everyday life. But you can get it back! Just because this is normal and this is what happens, doesn’t mean we have to settle. In this episode, I share my six daily habits to spark desire and...