Keys Bartender

Episode 210 (Key West) Jim Squared

Jim meets with Jim Martin the owner of the Key West Smuggler Company at their Tasting Room on 627 Eaton St. We get an in-depth description of the Distillation process used by Key West Smuggler from Jim Martin. His family grounded in Kentucky has been doing this for a long time. We have an advanced preview of there Vodka they will be offering in several months. Surprisingly the Keys Bartender stays coherent and cogent.

Episode 209 Future Boy and Tomorrow Girl

The numerologically impaired host Jim experiences time displacement as Jenna tries to anchor him in the present. They discuss the hierarchy of serial killers in the Midwest. They are visited by a co-worker of Jenna's, Frankie who by good appearance is not going to Hollywood but mountains of Afghanistan. He is a really good guy.

Episode 208 Keith the Mechanic

Jim introduces us to Keith and of course, Jim monopolizes the conversation. They talk about electric cars, technology, and meditation. We learn about Keith's history in the Keys, how he had a girlfriend at 10 years old, and why he refers to his ex as his ex-Cuban​ girlfriend.

Episode 207 Key Largo Katfish Kronicles

Jim and Jenna discuss the social media scam phenomenon "catfishing".  Someone tries to hook Jim. A recounting of this Fish Story though it is not as epic as the Old Man and the Sea, Moby Dick, or Jaws; it is definitely funnier. Why would someone pretending to be a woman go by the moniker of Jason Sarah or Derek Sarah?

Snippet-Key West Shows-Man Loses Wallet in water at the Half Shell

Jim and Jim Martin of Key West Smuggler Company watch a man toss his wallet in the water while feeding fish at a Key West Restaurant. I guess fish need money, too. Stay tuned for our Key West Shows next week.

Episode 206 Boned up the Ass

Jim and Jenna go into Time Shares, how bad a deal they were and how people are getting out of them now. Jim lacks Jenna's in-depth knowledge of power tools. In the second half, we use the Dive boat fire in California as an example of corporate malfeasance and does Jim like to use the word malfeasance.

Episode 205 Daytime Stripper

In this episode, Jim and Jenna are back and talking about the pitfalls of being a daytime stripper. Jim makes the comparison between daytime strippers, daytime bartenders and even Uber drivers. You may be wondering where he's going with this analogy, but you'll have to listen to the show to find out whether you agree with him or not!

Episode 204 Everything is Awesome; Everything's Amazing!

Jim has Steve and Lizzy on the show to talk about the hurricane preparations that everyone made before Dorian. We go environmental and talk about the flooding we are seeing here in the Keys and how countries are planting trees to save the environment and how green roofs can also help inner cities.

Episode 203 Altered States

Even after Jim explains that this episode will be released in 10 days Jenna gives warning on traveling to the Bahamas after Hurricane Dorian. We delve into the talents of the trans community, bad impressions, and regional accents. Jim does a shitty New England accent. A scene from Deliverance is remembered. 

Episode 202 Nicknames

We open up with Jenna, Tyler and Jim discussing how they handled Hurricane Irma considering another one is approaching.  Jim produces a list of names that bartenders have given to their more memorable patrons.ex. Sammy Soup Pants. 

Episode 201 So Don’t Drink, It’s O.K.

Jim, Jenna, and Anna discuss how some people behave at the Bar when they aren't drinking and how you perform your job when you drink. How to behave to avoid jury duty. Our planning for the approaching Hurricane Dorian.

Episode 200 F-U Scott Baio

On this, the 200th Episode Jim, Papa Joe, and Jenna's sister discuss the definition of celebrity. Inexplicably Jim chooses to direct his distaste for the former child star Scott Baio. We hear the difference between a C list celebrity and an A list in a category. 

Episode 199 Uber Eats Restaurants

Jim and the Crew discuss the booming 3rd party Food Delivery Apps and how they are affecting the Restaurant Industry. 

The Limousine Liberal

Special Episode - Bahamian Relief

Jim speaks with the owner of the Florida Keys Brewing Co.

Episode 198 Martini Madness

Jim, Papa Joe and Anna (Jenna’s sister from up near the Artic-Minnesota) discuss the terrible drivers you find here in the Keys, then we hear the results of Martini Mondays at the bar where Jim works. It appears it was a success and more Martini Mondays are on the schedule. Listen all the way to the end to find out how you can get Jim to serve you a martini too!

Episode 197 It Puts the Blue Cheese in the Olive or It gets the Soda Gun Again!

Jim, Papa Joe and Anna (Jenna’s sister from up near the Artic-Minnesota) discuss difficult request by Patrons. Some questions are pondered by Jim. Is Gluten intolerance really that wide spread? Why pay for White Claw Hard Club soda when a vodka + soda is the healthier and cheaper alternative?

Episode 196 A**hole Salesman

Jim tells Papa Joe about a series of phone calls he fielded at the Bar by a rather precocious salesman here to fore will be referred to as A**hole. Jim having a sales background takes particular offense to this person’s behavior but looks forward to more interactions with this A-hole. Artificial Intelligence and Chatbots are discussed. Joe relates his experience with a fundraising chatbot. Jim investigates whether a Chatbot would make a good co-host without trying to get romantic. #chabot #ai...

Episode 195 90 Day Fiancé

Jim and Papa Joe discuss mail order brides/grooms. They ponder why are people compelled to go looking for love far away from home. They also consider the motivation of some of these potential spouses to even consider taking the leap with these desperate and troubled American spouses. [Note from Host Jim: In no way is this show to be seen as an endorsement of Xenophobic or Anti-Immigrant sentiments and the discussion is referring only to the individuals​ depicted on the TLC reality show “90 Da...

Episode 194 Positively F'ed

Jim explains how fate smiles on him with a Car Rental Scam. A fight that occurs on a dock in Key Largo is related to the response in Jaws. Bar Rescue is also taken to task, God Bless You John Taffer. #barrescue #travelscams

Episode 193 Weddings in Europe

Jim and Papa Joe get into a ​discussion about different Wedding Traditions and European's infatuation serving voluminous amounts of foods.

Episode 192 Focus

Jim and a very distracted Jenna discuss some of the Poland trip. Mini-season is occurring; let the antics begin.

Episode 191 Boring Ass Slideshow

Jim and Steve, of Key Largo Comics, discuss the boring Slideshow Jim tries to spice up with a spicy electric butt plug sighting. The subject of old school blowup sex dolls pops up with a twist. The innuendoes fly until the end and they get down to discussing San Diego Comecon

Episode 190 Keys Bartenders-Joshing with Josh

A former co-worker and fellow bartender, Josh Kassel sits in as cohost. Jim gives us a recap of his trip to Poland. Josh shares his observation about the bar industry.

Episode 189 You Dirty Beach!

Reminiscent of a former PBS show Jim tries to engage Jenna and Tyler in a round table discussion on various topics. First topic is the uproar in the Upper Keys Community over the use of the Public Boat Ramp and Beach on Indian Key Fill. Jim explain his appropriate age dating formula A(1/2) +9= D* *A-represents your age (min 14yrs), D represents your partner.

Episode 188 Shoe's on the Other Hand

Jim prepares for his family trip to Poland and reflects on being in the position of being the tourist. Jenna reveals some of their experiences and Tyler believes that all Pine Trees are in fact Xmas Trees.

Episode 187 Pukers and Platelickers

We start out with a disgusting public behavior but become much more palatable later on. A local roofer is a perfect guy for certain commercials. 2 separate pairs of older stoners try to help each other while ordering a special order salad. Join us for the honesty you can only get from your bartender!

Episode 186 The Lady's Taken

A possessive man lets​ Jim know that his woman is off the market. We discuss the need for some people to be over protective. !!Price alert!! a Craig's List bargain mobile BJ offering in the Upper Keys. Discussion about a Podcast from Iowa "Welcome to my Podcast and the Hostess Michele. The subject of Dick Pics pops up and why are they so in your face.

Episode 185 Family Time with The Lady of the Lake

Jim speaks with Margaret Mary Stein(Peggy) his Irish Twin(same birthday a year apart). He counsels her on attempting to sound sane. Peggy insists on being called the Lady of the Lake even though the lake referenced was a creek. We delve in her distracted nature and her penchant for poisoning family members.

Episode 184 Help Me! I'm Melting!

It's so hot! Jim and his co-host Jenna take a break from the heat to talk about exactly how locals deal with the heat. It's easy to spot tourists in town because of their extreme sunburns and their love of riding around in their rented convertibles with the top down! Join us for a lesson in the development of AC and how in the world we can survive in this heat!

Episode 183 Keys Employees

Jim and Jenna talk about the real world issues that face workers in the Keys. Jim also spends some time correcting past mistakes so you know what he says that you have to ignore. What do you really​ need to make to live in the Keys? - we're talking big money! Pop open a cold one and join us!

Episode 182 The Vagina/Penis Monologues

Today Jim and Jenna go there! Yes, they are talking about private parts. We all treat ours differently and some get more use than others, but the one thing we can all agree on is that you should wash your junk regularly!

Episode 181 Don't Fish, Don't Boat

Jim and Jenna discuss the crazy questions that they get asked when people find out that they live in the Keys. People assume that everyone who lives here is an avid fisherman, boater or a diver, and that may not always be the case! Listen in to learn more than you ever wanted to know about living in the Florida Keys!

Episode 180 Male Enhancement

Jim and Jenna cover several important topics in today's episode. They are captivated by the news of the traffic jams on Mount Everest, which of course, brings to mind some really gross extremes people have to go thorough in those extreme conditions. Then we're on to discussing how we want to be buried, composted or otherwise disposed of after we are gone! Think about the carbon footprint! Jim confuses The Deerhunter with with Apocalypse Now. Of course, we get back around to male enhancement -...

Episode 179 Nice package! Got wood?

Jim and Jenna kick off the discussion trying to figure out who sent a random chocolate penis to her house. Then they move on to share some real asshole moves by the Memorial Day tourists - whatever you do, don't be THAT asshole!

Episode 178 Single White Male

Jim begins with a tale of obsession we end up with cut rate dildos, butt plugs, etc.

Episode 177- Bouncing at 30,00 feet

Jim and Jenna begin with thoughts about the similarities and dissimiliarities of challenges that Air Crews and Service Workers have on the Job..

Episode 176 Key Largo Comic

Special episode with Steve a friend of Jim's and the owner of Key Largo. We attempt to get the verbose Elizabeth(wife) to speak.

Episode 175 Advice to Class of 2019

Join Jim, Jenna, and Amber for advice from the Keys Bartender to the Class 2019. We delve into the abortion debate and learn the true definition of choad.

Episode 174- Keys Bartender Rescue

Jim,Jenna, and Tyler begin with a critique of the popular "reality" show. We ask how much clothes do men need to take off at the urinal.

Episode 173 Travel Day

A friend of the show Amber joins Jim and Jenna for some laughs. Jim explains how he behaves while he sits next to sober passengers.

Episode 172 The Apprentice Bartender

Unsolicited advice is given on what a person needs to know to bartend.

Episode 171 F-ing Quitter

We are joined by local listener who tells us how guinea pig got washed by a feminine hygiene product. Jim gives tips on quitting smoking and drinking while enjoying a beer.

Episode 170 Disney, the Great and Powerful

We discuss Tyler's trip to Disney and go off the rails from there.

Episode 169 Pinky up the Butt

We touch upon taboo subjects such as Butt Play, 1 to 10 scale on sexuality, and we play a little of "Have you ever?"

Episode 168 Accidental Hate Tattoo

Jim almost gets a hate symbol tattooed by mistake. We discuss the worst pick up line ever.

Episode 167 Up to My Tits

A dog uses a dildo as a chew toy,Jim tells an old joke. Jenna has a windfall of booze.

Episode 166 South of Heaven Tattoo

Jim and Tyler get tattoos at the premier parlor in South Florida, South of Heaven in Key Largo. Father, Brandon and son, Anthony tell us about the industry. The interview wraps with Jim getting his first tattoo after narrowly avoiding getting the worst tattoo imaginable.

Episode 165 Just Saying

Jim and Jenna discuss weird things said and Jenna's hubby becomes Jim's co-worker.

Episode 164 Belle of the Balls

We discuss the culture of giving ungrounded confidence to children. Jim explains to us why he thinks his liver is not ready for his long trip to Poland.