Church of Lazlo Podcasts

My Favorite Murray, Where To Kiss, Pockets

Late Night Texts, Brian, Boring Movies

Monday 01.10.22 - The Church of Lazlo Podcast

It’s Monday! That means we get to work again! Did you do anything this weekend? If not, do you feel guilty about it. The older you are, the less likely you are to feel guilty about accomplishing nothing. *Doomscrolling! Robert Durst died in prison. Bob Saget died in a hotel. Alec Baldwin says he isn’t refusing to turn over his phone and calls the allegations bullshit. People in Brazil died when a cliff collapsed on their “leisure” boats. Omicron is going HAM on American. *Julia’s got a game f...

Survival Myths and Sickly Slimfast

Julia's Celebrity Dating Game

Covid Text, Weekend Guilt, and Tipping with Gift Cards

Friday 01.07.22 - The Church of Lazlo Podcast

​From lunchables to prison poo stories, everything is making me laugh today. *Who needs the Chipotle celebrity VIP card when you can get a taco bell subscription? *On a scale of 1-10, where would you rank yourself. If you said anything above a 5, you must be pretty damn confident. *Doomscrolling!!! Sidney Poitier passed away at the age of 94. A high school basketball coach has been suspended for being too good. A truly feel-good story about a doctor doing a good deed. A fan is suing the New Y...

The Poo Story & Pretty Privilege

Mercy Rule, Taco Bell, Are You Hot?

Thursday 01.06.22 - The Church of Lazlo Podcast

*The Improv Keith bit I forgot to post yesterday is at the end of the podcast -Snowcone Welcome back! Glad to see everyone survived the night. We're learning that half the people on this show have a real tough time sleeping in a house alone. *We can all agree, it doesn't get much worse than those people who buy fake lottery tickets for loved ones and then get a kick out of watching their hopes and dreams crash back to earth. But where do we rank the guy who bought fake diamond earrings and r...

Resolutions & Britney Spears

The hardest things to give up and is Britney on meth?

Scared at home, Fake diamonds, and Revenge sleep procrastination

Snowcone gets scared when he's home alone, A guy bought his wife a matching pair of fake/real diamonds, and something called revenge sleep procrastination 

Wednesday, 1.5.22 - The Church of Lazlo Podcast

Today we welcome a new(ish) member to the show! Slimfast begs Lazlo to watch Macgruber. *An old show member returns! We welcome back Snowcone to the program and Julia spends a little time trying to get to know him. *Doomscrolling! The FBI is still searching for a few capitol rioters. Chicago public schools are closed for omicron and the mayor is not happy about it. Is someone using an Apple AirTag to keep tabs on you? USA is number one with COVID! USA-USA! A twelve year old graduated college ...

Tuesday, 01.04.22- The Church of Lazlo Podcast

Shout-out to all the delivery drivers out there! *Julia still has a stain on her reputation. *Slimfast just wants to buy you stuff at the gas station. Is that so bad? *Do adults need best friends? Lazlo says no. End of conversation. *Doomscrolling! Apple is worth how much money? We reminisce about our old crappy smart phones. Julia and Slimfast are holding on to theirs in case they're worth some serious money one day. The latest story of a missing child is one of the strangest we've ever hear...

Monday, 01.03.2022- The Church of Lazlo Podcast

Welcome back! Happy New Year! A lot happened over the break including Julia getting locked up abroad and Lazlo showcasing his friendship skills. *Doomscrolling! It may be a new year but the pandemic is getting old. Majorie got booted off twitter. Betty White died just weeks before her 100th birthday. Drunk Andy Cohen was a bigger deal than Miley's wardrobe malfunction. Go get your moles checked. When you want a new Lincoln Navigator but all you can get your hands on is a potato chip truck. *Y...

Friday 12.17.21 - The Church of Lazlo Podcast

Celebrate! It's our last show of the year and Lazlo is carrying around two half-empty bottles of Champagne. *Is is possible that Mr Big is not the man we thought? *Remember when we were little kids and our parents let us live by ourselves, smoke cigarettes, and ride our tricycles downtown to catch a game? Those were the days. *Doomscrolling!! I've heard of kids having snow days but not tik tok days. You can get anything delivered to your house. Eric Clapton sued a German widow and won. North ...

Goodbye Jeriney

Updates on Urban Meyer, holiday shopping, and we say goodbye to an old friend

Cancelled Celebs and School Lunches

Updates on Alec Baldwin, cancelled celebrities and something about school lunches

All of your headlines in one, messy place

If you weren't paying attention to the news, neither were we. But we still talked about it of course. Check it out!

Again...not paying attention

Sorry, we really did try. Cmon, its almost vacation

We've had a few drinks, lets see how doom scrolling goes

Slim kind of read the headlines, Lazlo kind of listened...we'll do better later...maybe

What are some things you can't believe your parents let you do?

Hour 1 - We get the last show before vacation started just like any other....with booze!  We also talked about some other things but we weren't really paying attention.

Vacation starts now?

It's the last day before our holiday break and there was a little holiday party at work!  Guess what Lazlo stole...

Thursday 12.16.2021 - The Church of Lazlo Podcast

​Anyone else start to get super stressed out and overwhelmed at this time of the year? Why can't we get are lives together? *If you're having any guests over during the holidays, just remember that they're gonna judge your house. Light a candle and make sure to clean your toilet. *Doomscrolling! The fired waitress in Arkansas is still in the news. Does anyone else agree with the restaurant manager? Another bouncy house took to the skies and killed a bunch of kids. What happens when you wear w...

Lessons from Lazlo

Hour 4 - What exactly is a Metaverse?  Also, Lazlo's got some lessons for you!

What do you wanna be when you grow up?

Julia is going to interview our new friend Gale "Big Bitch" Roberts, wait...was that her name? Some pop star or something

Julia's Got That Bread, Fam

Hour 2 - If you need to get caught up on your headlines, Slim (mostly) has you covered and Julia's finding bread

Take it off! Take it off!

Part 2 of Doom Scrolling has Lazlo chanting these 3 little words....

Let's do some more Doom Scrolling!

Here's a few more headlines that Slimfast, may or may not have read. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Guess What?! Slimfast didn't read the ENTIRE story....

Part 1 of Doom Scrolling puts us in a very familiar spot where Lazlo has lots of questions about Slim's headline and Jeriney has to set the record straight because she actually READ the story.

You're totally being judged by your holiday guests.

Hour 1 - There are lot of things that can be stressful over the holidays.  Not only all of the prep but what about the guest that are coming over or better yet, you being a guest at someone's house.  

Are you ready for the Holidays? Do you think we are?

Welcome back!  There are so many things that need to be done before the holidays and we are NOT ready!

Wednesday, 12.15.21 - The Church of Lazlo Podcast

Yo!! We got a little bit of everything for you today. *There's another teacher sex scandal. Students say there was a snapchat video going around but the police are having a hard time finding it. *Doomscrolling! Omicron bad! New Pfizer pill good. Racist judges bad. Ben Affleck cool. *A lot of adult Americans don't know how to wipe their butt. At least, people who participate in buzzfeed surveys. *Bad advice that has been passed off as good advice for far too long. *Scooters are the most danger...

First thing you do after you rob a bank?

Part 2 of Doom Scrolling teaches us what NOT to do after robbing a bank.

How can people hate Ben Affleck?

Hour 2 - Here is all of your Doom Scrolling for today!

Lazlo loves teen rom coms!?

Before we get into the first part of Doom Scrolling, we learn a little something new about Lazlo.

How much would you pay for a jarred fart?

Hour 1 - You read that right!  Someone is selling their farts in a jar and it's a whole process.  We also talk about if there should be an age limit to teach.  

Let's get hyped!

WE'RE READY TO START THIS THING!!!!!  Ok...sorry.  We were just REALLY hyped!

Tuesday 12.14.2021 - The Church Of Lazlo Podcast

​It's hard to keep up with all these dating terms but have you heard about snow-globing? It's when you think you like your partner better than you do because it's the holidays and you're in a good mood. Lazlo explains why he's broken up with more girlfriends in December than any other month. *There's a movement online to boycott IHOP. It's really just another story about people getting way too worked up about stuff that doesn't matter. *Doomscrolling! Don't let Liz Cheney get ahold of your te...

Tuesday 12.10.2021 - The Church Of Lazlo Podcast

​It's hard to keep up with all these dating terms but have you heard about snow-globing? It's when you think you like your partner better than you do because it's the holidays and you're in a good mood. Lazlo explains why he's broken up with more girlfriends in December than any other month. *There's a movement online to boycott IHOP. It's really just another story about people getting way too worked up about stuff that doesn't matter. *Doomscrolling! Don't let Liz Cheney get ahold of your te...

Nick Wright might have been a "Karen"

Hour 3 - Nick Wright called as he was having a moment while talking to the guys.  And it's time for those year end lists!

All your news in one place!

Hour 2 - And when we say "news" we mean the partial headlines that Slimfast didn't actually read.

We'll trade you this bottle of 99's butterscotch....

More Doom Scrolling with Slimfast brings us info on the tornados in Kentucky and a girl who traded a bobby pin for a house.

So, how do text messages work?

In the first part of Doom Scrolling w/ Slimfast, we get a lesson in text messaging.

All we want now is corned beef hash...

Hour 1 - From snow globes to corned beef hash.  A lot happened in the first hour that is gonna make you question so many things...including how hungry you are.

Lazlo says "Stay Out Of Snowglobes"

Welcome back!  More words of wisdom about relationships from Lazlo...what a way to start the show.

Monday 12.13.2021 - The Church Of Lazlo Podcast

So it begins! Our last week on the air before vacation. Slimfast is worried he was a bad guest at a weekend holiday party and Julia had a night out with the girls. *It's proposal season! Thanksgiving to Valentine's Day is the most popular time for people to propose. Women have now handed over their official list of proposal demands. *Doomscrolling! Tornadoes everywhere. Another celeb went to space in Jeff's rocket. Realtors get into a full out brawl at a casino convention. Peleton probably wo...

How much for that Cameo?!

Hour 4 - Teachers at a hockey game are fighting for money to buy school supplies.  We've got to do better....  Also, how much do you think a Fran Dresher Cameo costs?  Well, if you're rich you may not be too excited by how cheap somethings are.

"You can't be too old for a butt." - Julia

Hour 2 - All the news headlines in one place.  Also, what's going on between Madonna and 50 Cent?  Oh...and Bow Wow is still around!

You can't buy women workout equipment for Chirstmas?

Part 2 of Doom Scrolling is chalked full of more headlines and the do's and don'ts of exercise equipment as gifts.