Latest Parallel parenting Podcast Episodes
You Are Not Weak For Staying Too Long
Unapologetic Parenting - April 05, 2023 20:00 - 3 minutes ★★★★★ - 53 ratingsWe hear mixed messages about leaving relationships all the time. If only you were stronger, you would have left sooner. If only you were stronger, you would have stayed longer and tried harder. Weak people focus on themselves too much...and weak people don't focus on themselves and their need...
Why The Court Treats The Abuser Like The Victim And The Victim Like The Abuser
Unapologetic Parenting - March 30, 2023 01:00 - 6 minutes ★★★★★ - 53 ratingsHypothesis: the heart of so many of the family court’s judgment errors boils down to the emotional illiteracy of the lawyers, judges, therapists, and other paraprofessionals attached to the system. The family court system is not trauma informed. The judges are not therapists and spend the leas...
When Court Ordered Coparenting Is Not In Anyone's Best Interests
Unapologetic Parenting - March 24, 2023 13:00 - 9 minutes ★★★★★ - 53 ratingsCourt-ordered coparenting is pretty much doomed to fail when one of the parents is highly narcissistic. When the courts take a one-size-fits-all approach to coparenting expectations and standards, they end up creating a sure-to-fail situation where everyone involved loses. That is, everyone ex...
Don't Wast Your Life Arguing With Those Who Believe Their Own Delusions and Lies
Unapologetic Parenting - March 17, 2023 16:00 - 7 minutes ★★★★★ - 53 ratingsCarl Knickerbocker, JD is an Award-Winning divorced lawyer with 3 children in a thriving blended family. He's an emotional abuse survivor, parallel parenting advocate, and all-around sceptic of everything dealing with trendy-trendy coparenting and the family court system. He is the founder of Una...
Mantras For Dealing With A Narcissistic Coparent
Unapologetic Parenting - April 17, 2021 00:00 - 7 minutes ★★★★★ - 53 ratingsWe begin with the principle (the fact) that the narcissist's words and actions are caused by their disorder...not by you. Their words and actions are disordered, not personal. From there, we focus our attention on the things we love and the things we are creating. We avoid mantras and affirma...
How Not To Get Baited In By The Narcissist
Unapologetic Parenting - April 17, 2021 00:00 - 9 minutes ★★★★★ - 53 ratingsNarcissists seek attention, plain and simple. They thrive off of baiting others into conflict and needless interactions. The same generally goes for Borderlines and other various disordered exes. When baiting is an issue (i.e. the narcissist acts out in one of their many attention-seeking way...
Teaching Your Kids About Narcissists
Unapologetic Parenting - April 17, 2021 00:00 - 11 minutes ★★★★★ - 53 ratingsWe do not teach out kids about narcissism, borderline, and other disorders because of their other parent. We teach them about high-conflict individuals and about the importance of standards and boundaries because those lessons are crucial to a good life. Whether the other parent is high-confli...
Uncomfortable Child Exchanges
Unapologetic Parenting - April 17, 2021 00:00 - 14 minutes ★★★★★ - 53 ratingsChild exchanges can be uncomfortable and tense...been there! This episode discusses several potential remedies and rules of thumb for conducting child exchanges with a high-conflict or disordered coparent.
What To Document To Protect Your Sanity
Unapologetic Parenting - April 17, 2021 00:00 - 11 minutes ★★★★★ - 53 ratingsWhen we deal with high-conflict and disordered coparents, it is vitally important to document certain things and collect data. In this episode, I discuss the importance of tracking data to establish patterns for the purpose of not only clarifying those patterns, but to be able to use those patt...
Handling The Narcissistic Parent's Lies And False Accusations
Unapologetic Parenting - April 16, 2021 23:00 - 11 minutes ★★★★★ - 53 ratingsNarcissistic coparents, as well as Borderlines and other similarly disordered individuals, have a nasty habit of making up lies, fictitious events, and false allegations. Those of us who have dealt with such people know that there is no end to what they will cook up and pretend to be real. This...
Covert Narcissists
Unapologetic Parenting - April 16, 2021 23:00 - 19 minutes ★★★★★ - 53 ratingsWe are generally well aware of what overt narcissists look like, but narcissism can manifest in different ways, including the covert or vulnerable narcissist. This episode touches on the traits of the covert narcissist, and then discusses what to do when it becomes clear that you are dealing wi...
Divorce Does Not Define You
Unapologetic Parenting - April 16, 2021 23:00 - 5 minutes ★★★★★ - 53 ratingsou are not defined by your divorce experience. Your value as a parent is not determined by a custody schedule. What your ex says and does is not a reflection of your worth. Shared custody does not make you a part time parent or less of a parent. Having a high-conflict ex does not indicate any l...
Getting The Court To See The Narcissist For Who They Are
Unapologetic Parenting - April 16, 2021 23:00 - 13 minutes ★★★★★ - 53 ratingsCan we get the court to see the Narcissistic coparent for who they truly are? Most likely not, especially since the Family Court System is 1) not equipped to handle mental health matters 2) is predominantly trauma-uninformed and 3) financially incentivized to not see such things clearly. That s...
When The Kids Are Failing School At The Other House
Unapologetic Parenting - March 09, 2021 01:00 - 8 minutes ★★★★★ - 53 ratingsWhen The Kids Are Failing School At The Other House Often times when we step in to bail the other parent out, we are enabling them to continue failing as parents. We think we are helping the kids, and perhaps they do benefit in the short-run in some way, but in the big picture we are usually pl...
Preparing for Crazy - AKA Preparing for The Ex's Lies
Unapologetic Parenting - March 08, 2021 18:00 - 15 minutes ★★★★★ - 53 ratingsIf you haven't discovered it already, many people seem to have a near limitless capacity to make stuff up and lie, especially in the divorce and coparenting context. This episode digs into these behavioral patterns and discusses strategies to protect yourself for the crazy when it comes. And i...
When The Other Parent Sucks At Being A Parent
Unapologetic Parenting - March 08, 2021 02:00 - 18 minutes ★★★★★ - 53 ratingsIt is difficult, if not impossible, to comprehend parents who literally do not show up for their kids...especially when that absentee or negligent parent is the other parent of your own child. Many times the child neglect is part of an attention seeking game played out by a narcissistic parent....
Divorce Battle On Multiple Fronts
Unapologetic Parenting - March 08, 2021 01:00 - 23 minutes ★★★★★ - 53 ratingsFor those of us who have gone through the divorce process, we often figure out fairly quickly that there are more adversaries than just the ex. We are up against the ex as well as their divorce lawyer, who has a vested interest in stirring up as much conflict as possible. We often have our own...
Narcissistic Parent Games - Lesser of Two Evils
Unapologetic Parenting - March 08, 2021 00:00 - 12 minutes ★★★★★ - 53 ratingsNarcissistic parents often work to create situations where you are forced to choose between two unsavory choices. They don't want you to have you time. They don't want you to have a good time. So they create situations that feed them attention while simulteneously diminishing your experience wit...
Get Out. Stay Out. Stay Safe. How Not To End Up Assaulted.
Unapologetic Parenting - March 08, 2021 00:00 - 11 minutes ★★★★★ - 53 ratingsIn this episode I tell my story of how I messed up on my own rules and ended up assaulted, which resulted in me having a permanent neck injury. When it is time to move out...get out, stay out, stay safe. If you must go back to the house for any reason, do so in a way that provides for accounta...
Get Out. Stay Out. Stay Safe. How Not To End Up Assaulted.
Unapologetic Parenting - March 08, 2021 00:00 - 11 minutes ★★★★★ - 53 ratingsIn this episode I tell my story of how I messed up on my own rules and ended up assaulted, which resulted in me having a permanent neck injury. When it is time to move out...get out, stay out, stay safe. If you must go back to the house for any reason, do so in a way that provides for accounta...
Teach Your Kids That They Are Free To Keep Or Drop Any Family Traits
Unapologetic Parenting - February 14, 2021 01:00 - 5 minutes ★★★★★ - 53 ratingsIt is okay to teach your kids that they can keep or drop any family traits and practices that they want. There are family habits and values that lead to great life, and there are family habits and traits that may lead the kids away from the type of life they want to create. We try to have frequ...
Murphy's Law For Narcissistic Exes and Parents
Unapologetic Parenting - February 13, 2021 03:00 - 5 minutes ★★★★★ - 53 ratingsWhen we apply Murphy’s Law to a narcissistic ex, we find that anything they can possibly jack with they will jack with. If there is a situation that they can make more difficult in order to gain attention, then they will. If there is an obvious decision that they can draw out and complicate, the...
Spotting A Narcissist's Fake Apologies
Unapologetic Parenting - February 13, 2021 01:00 - 7 minutes ★★★★★ - 53 ratingsWe all make mistakes, and we all occasionally make mistakes that hurt other people. When we own those mistakes and offer genuine apologies, we can work to soothe hurt feelings, heal relationships, and rebuild trust. Narcissists rarely, if ever, offer authentic apologies. Building trust and resp...
Narcissistic Exes Often Accuse Others Of The Very Things They Are Guilty Of
Unapologetic Parenting - January 28, 2021 04:00 - 11 minutes ★★★★★ - 53 ratingsExtreme accusations that come in the absence of authentic evidence are often self-accusatory projections. For example, when an ex makes accusations of “abuse” in the absence of actual evidence of abuse, then the accusation often indicates that the accuser is “splitting.” The accuser has split th...
How To Talk To Your Kids About The Divorce
Unapologetic Parenting - January 28, 2021 04:00 - 17 minutes ★★★★★ - 53 ratingsWhen we tell our kids that a divorce is occurring, they do not need to know the adult details behind the decision. When parents overshare details in the name of “truth” and “vulnerability,” they are often speaking from spite and trying to create a loyalty bind (the feeling that the child is not ...
How To Not Create Kids Who Are Emotional Monsters
Unapologetic Parenting - January 15, 2021 01:00 - 8 minutes ★★★★★ - 53 ratingsIt is good for kids to be able to express their emotions...and most kids seem to have no difficulty doing so at all. The difficulty is usually training kids to be centered and rational. What we see in popular media and trendy-trendy parenting advice is an over emphasis on emotional expression w...
Divorce As Opportunity Mindset
Unapologetic Parenting - January 14, 2021 04:00 - 5 minutes ★★★★★ - 53 ratingsWe have an option to see divorce as a tragedy or an opportunity. We can choose to view the divorce process as a chance for growth and development or as a set-back from which we will not recover for a long time, if ever. When child-custody is set and part of our reality moving forward, we have t...
Behind Most Stepmom vs Biomom Conflict Is A Man Not Doing His Job
Unapologetic Parenting - January 12, 2021 03:00 - 26 minutes ★★★★★ - 53 ratingsI firmly believe that there is no reason for a stepmom and a biomom to be having direct conflict with one another. I also am of the opinion that in most cases direct communication between a biomom and stepmom is completely unnecessary. Maybe I am biased in my view, but to me the root issue behi...
Stop Talking To Your Ex
Unapologetic Parenting - January 10, 2021 03:00 - 9 minutes ★★★★★ - 53 ratingsThere is usually no need or good reason to talk to your ex during and after the divorce process. A good rule is to cut out phone and in-person conversations completely. Verbal conversations with exes typically devolve into verbal abuse. Verbal conversations also expose us to manipulation and ha...
When Your Ex Creates A Double Bind Situation
Unapologetic Parenting - January 09, 2021 22:00 - 18 minutes ★★★★★ - 53 ratingsDouble binds are the classic punished if you do and punished if you don't situations. If you respond to your ex's nonsense, then you are compromising yourself and exposing yourself to further mistreatment. If you do not respond, then there is the threat that they will use you unresponsiveness a...
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