Why The Court Treats The Abuser Like The Victim And The Victim Like The Abuser

Hypothesis: the heart of so many of the family court’s judgment errors boils down to the emotional illiteracy of the lawyers, judges, therapists, and other paraprofessionals attached to the system. 

The family court system is not trauma informed. The judges are not therapists and spend the least amount of time learning about the case out of all the players.  The therapists attached to the system are often opportunists to make matters worse for their own gain.  Facilitators and evaluators make their money off of conflict and refer to their therapist buddies.  Lawyers profit off of conflict and more conflict. 

The court system is often completely emotionally illiterate when it comes to anger.  Anxiety, grief, ptsd, concern, passion, forwardness, and fear are misinterpreted as anger and used again the person feeling these legitimate emotions.  

Meanwhile the actual abusive party is pretending to be innocent and cooperative…while accusing the other party (often their past and/or present abuse victim) of having anger issues.  

The result?  Terrible judgments by the court that treat the abuser as the victim and the victim as the abuser.