Behind Most Stepmom vs Biomom Conflict Is A Man Not Doing His Job

I firmly believe that there is no reason for a stepmom and a biomom to be having direct conflict with one another. I also am of the opinion that in most cases direct communication between a biomom and stepmom is completely unnecessary.

Maybe I am biased in my view, but to me the root issue behind direct stepmom and biomom conflict is a man (biodad) who is not fulfilling his role in the situation.

Here’s what I mean—dad is ultimately responsible for the kids. The one who is ultimately accountable for what happens to and with and for the kids at dad’s home is dad.

His kids are his responsibility. Stepmom is dad’s first priority. When there is direct conflict between a stepmom and a biomom, it is typically because biodad is improperly delegating (or avoiding) his responsibility and not prioritizing his wife and their relationship.

Dad is responsible for his kids. It is his role and responsibility to care for them as their primary caretaker in his home and to do the work necessary to parent them. Period. When there is direct conflict between the biomom and stepmom, it is often because dad is avoiding his responsibilities to communicate and coordinate matters for the kids.

His wife and their relationship is his first priority...not second or less to the kids. First priority. Period. When biodad allows mistreatment and harassment to occur toward his wife, he is not prioritizing who and what matters. His role is to set boundaries with his own ex and to deescalate matters for his wife. If his ex is causing his wife problems, then it is his job to put an end to it.

If he is allowing his wife to torment his ex, then he and his wife are probably bonding over his ex in a dysfunctional way (making her the object of their connection)...which prioritizes his ex in the relationship. Worse still is a man who allows the conflict because he enjoys women fighting over him.

Any way you look at it, when direct stepmom vs biomom conflict exists, there is a man not doing his job. There is absolutely no need for such conflict. If dad is accountable for his responsibilities and prioritizing his wife, then harassment and conflict and argumentation should not occur.