Kimchi Talk
30 episodes - English - Latest episode: over 1 year ago -A salon of two Canadian Kimchis, on health, healing and aging well. Moving from self-harm to self-love with every conversation. We wish to ferment like good kimchi - "To die, before i die."
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Episodes
To Paradise and Back
February 14, 2023 11:00 - 8 minutes - 5.56 MBRoland Griffiths described a psychedelic experience as “meditation on steroids". A habitual meditation practice has been the best practice I’ve implemented in my life that enabled me to integrate the psychedelic lessons I’ve downloaded. Although my initial goal was to experience the extraordinary, the true goal is to realize that the every day is extraordinary. To notice the sacred in the in-between moments of my life.
To Hawaii with Love
November 10, 2022 12:00 - 4 minutes - 2.94 MBLife is an experience, a felt experience as the meditation teacher Tara Brach would say. Whether you're experiencing something that's worth savouring or going through the valley of the shadow of death, my hope is that you stay present in your moment. Easier said than done, when you have to "stay in the suck". I am learning to understand life from a cubist's mindset; differing perspectives forming the whole. It doesn't necessarily make sense, nor is it easy to understand, however, such ...
So you have ADHD
September 14, 2022 19:00 - 15 minutes - 10.8 MBDealing with my mental health is far more complex and variable than I had imagined. Psychedelics and therapy were the magic formula for tackling my childhood trauma. I still deal with depression, but it’s more of a maintenance thing now. Psychedelics were for me a surgery I needed to remove the depression tumor. Even still, I know that I can easily relapse into a deep depression if I don’t maintain a healthy baseline by eating whole foods, exercising and meditating. Whatever normal mean...
End Times
August 18, 2022 03:00 - 43 minutes - 30.2 MBIn this episode of our Kimchi Talk, James and I commiserate over the current geo-political climate. I'm not sure if we're living through the end times, but it feels like it some days. It doesn't help that there is so much white noise of current events we receive through social media. I wonder what the long-term repercussions will be to our mental well-being. I feel the stress of living through a pandemic, civil disintegration, inflation, climate change and a possible invasion by alie...
Mentally Off Center
August 09, 2022 16:00 - 42 minutes - 29.1 MBA childhood with a lot of emotional deficit, may lead you to develop survival coping mechanisms that may not serve you in adulthood. Our environment shapes us, more than we’d like to admit. Addictions may be virtuous, if they have societal merits (say, being a workaholic). My addictions certainly do not. This is even more interesting if we understand that both pain and pleasure is felt by the same area of the brain. “In addition to the discovery of dopamine, one of the most remarkabl...
Crushing It
May 11, 2022 12:00 - 1 hour - 45.9 MB"Where's The Money? When Are You Going To Get The Money? Why Aren't You Getting The Money Now? And So On. So Please, The Money.” Fat Tony Have you ever wondered what it’s like to work in sales? Of course you haven’t. The self-adulation, an environment where ego runs rampant amidst smiles with no meaning. …no wait that’s LinkedIn. So back to my question, H...
For Better or For Worse
March 08, 2022 11:00 - 57 minutes - 39.7 MBBehaviours I notice as an adult, are mostly a by-product of my childhood and my early environment. I have a lot of gaps in my early memories, but it’s easy to trace back to my childhood where certain behaviours stem from. Despite the fact that childhood explains a lot, it doesn’t excuse anything as Gavin de Becker said. So here I am, in my 40s, learning to un-learning great many things. * * * On this episode of Kimchi Talk, James and I discuss how trauma shaped our lives. The c...
The Last Best Decade
January 27, 2022 13:00 - 51 minutes - 35.4 MBIn this podcast, James and I take some time to reflect and assess how the last year has been for us. We are children of the 90s. We reminisce about what life was like before the advent of the internet. More importantly, how was your 2021? I sense that the present sentiment, during these covid times, is that we are definitely “here” and “away” at the same time. The life that is before us feels painful. It’s a normal human reaction to retract from pain. But closing oneself to these di...
Eureka
November 25, 2021 12:00 - 1 hour - 45.8 MBFor a long time, success meant having a nuclear Christian family. Then, at another point in my life, my definition of success became material: owning a nice house and a dog in an expensive neighbourhood. Once more, my definition of success meant minimalism, living a debt-free life. The idea of success changed and keeps changing - except for the idea of having a dog. If this life is a virtual reality, I’ve unlocked whatever bonus round that awarded me with the best dog possible. Most,...
Merci
October 21, 2021 10:00 - 40 minutes - 27.7 MBI believe gratitude is a compassion muscle that needs regular exercise. You have helped me grow and I thank you. This episode is dedicated to my listeners. I don't have many listeners, but for that I am grateful. If you are reading this, have listened to an episode, laughed, jeered, criticized and hopefully appreciated my effort, I am truly grateful and humbled.
Seek and Find (Yourself)
September 20, 2021 11:00 - 1 hour - 45.3 MBI want to be mourned, in my death, a la Donny in the film The Big Lebowski. I told James to put my ashes in a coffee can, then, this is the important part (!): feed my ashes, (some) of it, to Max. That would be my ideal funeral. I wanted to answer the difficult questions about myself. One of them was to write my own eulogy. And I couldn’t do it. Not because the idea of death saddened me, but because I had nothing to write about. I became christian, I wanted to do good, felt like a ...
The Three Magi: The Sage Commander
September 15, 2021 11:00 - 34 minutes - 23.4 MBDr. Gabor Mate, Mr. (David) Goggins and Mr. Gavin de Becker). What do these men have in common? Other than forced alliteration on my part, they all had close encounters with death, much too early. Incredible, unimaginable life events of the horrific kind, exploded their awakening as a child. Yet, they have all triumphed: conquered and overcome. I want that. Thich Nhat Hanh said, it’s not enough to overcome, we have to be able to touch peace and joy. What motivate these men to give back ...
The great (human) story
August 17, 2021 00:00 - 49 minutes - 34.3 MBThe bible is known as the greatest book ever written. As an apostate, I can still agree to that. As a Christian it was the only necessary literature to guide my life. I dabbled into C.S. Lewis and Tolkien, however, I was adamant about guarding my mind against the heathen’s literature, lest the devil takes my soul. One of the first things I did when I renounced my christian faith, was to engorge myself in books. Books I was not allowed to read, books that were thought to be demonic, a...
The great (human) story
August 17, 2021 00:00 - 49 minutes - 34.3 MBThe bible is known as the greatest book ever written. As an apostate, I can still agree to that. As a Christian it was the only necessary literature to guide my life. I dabbled into C.S. Lewis and Tolkien, however, I was adamant about guarding my mind against the heathen’s literature, lest the devil takes my soul. One of the first things I did when I renounced my christian faith, was to engorge myself in books. Books I was not allowed to read, books that were thought to be demonic, a...
Let's talk about D baby
July 19, 2021 18:00 - 56 minutes - 38.6 MBI wanted to commemorate my divorce with dignity and mutual respect. To bookend this momentous event and to garner genuine appreciation of our time spent together in the cult of christianity, James and I, embarked on a secret covenant called “The Divorce Competition”. Actually, this covenant is implicitly signed by every divorce(e). The winner/gagnant(!) of this post-divorce contest, will need to score points in these scientific categories: Who will look more attractive physically? (...
Watermelon Punch
June 21, 2021 14:00 - 1 hour - 51.6 MBSome, hopefully well meaning, white folks came to Korea to evangelize the gospel of Jesus according to their version of christianity. Later on, some, hopefully well meaning, Korean folks adapted and adopted Christianity. That’s where I had my first watermelon. During the 80s, fruit was a delicacy. I’m not sure if it was a tactic or simple benevolence, however, the neighbourhood church drew me in with this fruit. I ravenously ate the fruit, drank its punch, well into my 30s. As an ...
Reduce your Burn Rate
June 17, 2021 00:00 - 26 minutes - 18.1 MBA concurrent book review of the wisdom found in Breath, a book by James Nestor & The Yoga Sutras of Patanjali. The advancement of humanity, our ever growing desire to delegate and offshore our responsibilities, of what it means to be part of nature, has inevitably led to sub-contracting our well-being. Automation over mindfulness. This is very much prevalent in our current age, but it started long ago. When humans coined the idea of productivity for profit, we forgot, or at least ign...
Why I don't like Lee/Park/Choi's variety.
May 26, 2021 03:00 - 1 hour - 43.9 MBBeing an immigrant in Canada means you are (somewhat, if not fully) bilingual but also bi-cultural. Language is only a small component of the greater cultural language an immigrant needs to speak. I am no longer Korean, or Canadian. I am a Korean-Canadian immigrant. If you are part of the immigration story, you can’t escape this duality. Case in point: your mannerism and way of being will differ, when you are breaking bread with your “f-o-b”(-by) friends versus your white friends. ...
DMT Round 2
May 20, 2021 03:00 - 41 minutes - 28.7 MBAs a wide-eyed, brainwashed christian, I thought I could change the world. I was mostly fattening up the wallets of middle-aged, maniacal korean men with a penchant for power. I now understand I can't change the world. It isn't my problem to solve. I am ordinary. This is not pity, rather, it's an admission that I am part of a whole. To be special, an outlier, you will be set apart, burdened with an affliction to carry much suffering. (Jebus got nailed...literally.) Within mysel...
Lamentation for the Arts
April 26, 2021 19:00 - 39 minutes - 27 MBArt, especially fine arts, is often considered superfluous, extravagant. Bills need to be paid, there are children to feed, a boss to suck up to first. Thinking about a nice painting, to put in a house I cannot afford comes after accumulating more debt. C’est la vie, n’est-ce-pas? The barrier of entry for appreciating art, seems to revolve around a certain amount of financial sustainability. At the end of one spectrum, art is elitist and frivolous. Even so, art is a necessity of life....
Don't kill the messenger
April 20, 2021 01:00 - 36 minutes - 25.3 MBAn unwelcome friend, over-staying their welcome. This is how I am learning to view my depression. A friendship I do not want to nurture, but present nonetheless. The origins of my disease harkens back to my childhood, the environment I grew up in and the relationships I was born into. I can understand now, how I’ve adopted early coping mechanisms for survival that no longer serve me in adulthood. Maybe depression isn’t so much a friend, but a messenger. There is a deeper message to ...
Divorce Court
April 06, 2021 23:00 - 17 minutes - 12.2 MBAt the very least, I wanted to make my divorce a net positive experience. All the principles that are involved in making a marriage great, can also be applied to making a good, at the very least, a peaceful divorce. I’m grateful for having experienced marriage with my first husband. Hopefully, I was a good first wife for him. I am in a place, where I can safely say with laughter, about my ex being married to me: “I’m surprised he lasted that long” *This episode was recorded prior t...
Dee-vorce
March 18, 2021 16:00 - 52 minutes - 35.9 MBWhy did we get divorced? Short answer: jebus Long version: Set and Setting. Set signifies the person, who you are, your personality, your mindset. Setting is the signifier for your environment. Within my set and setting, this is how divorce, unfolded for me. My beliefs were upended, which led me to question everything about my life. Most importantly, I didn’t like the person I've become. I didn’t like who I was in my relationship. There were specific things, reasons, no one needs ...
About Moi
March 16, 2021 05:00 - 4 minutes - 3.06 MBWho is this broad ? and why are cabbages talking? All of your questions will not be answered, but it will give you an insight as to my "why".
The Art of Fighters.
March 01, 2021 15:00 - 27 minutes - 18.8 MBAs we continue our conversation of our love for MMA, our deepest admiration is for the fighters. The opera, that unfolds in the 15-25 minute inside the octagon, reveals without lies, what is inside each and every fighter. Let's see what unfolds during the upcoming fights in March! "...Knowing the other and knowing oneself, In one hundred battles no danger. Not knowing the other and knowing oneself, One victory for one loss. Not knowing the other and not knowing oneself, In eery bat...
I heart (mixed martial) arts.
February 23, 2021 04:00 - 22 minutes - 15.6 MBI am an avid fan of the arts, and that include martial arts. As Homer Simpson would say, I enjoy all the meats of our cultural stew. There is something magical about great artists - you don’t need any education to see the wonder in the works of Basquiat, Monet or Georgia O’Keeffe. Their greatness is almost intuitively awe inspiring. As I watch two fighters step into a ring, I feel that same sense of awe and respect for two martial artists, who have poured their lives and selfhood int...
I used to be with it.
February 23, 2021 04:00 - 30 minutes - 20.8 MBI used to be with it, but then they changed what *it* was. Now what I'm with isn't *it*, and what's *it* seems weird and scary to me - Abraham Simpson Maybe I don’t have enough insight nor perspective on what it means to be getting “old”, yet. As my therapist would say, I am judging the experience before going through it. Part of getting old is terrifying and shitty. It’s akin to jumping off a cliff - it's inevitable that you will splatter on the ground. Might as well enjoy the fall, sq...
Don't eat that.
January 31, 2021 17:00 - 33 minutes - 23.3 MBDrugs are very near and dear to my heart. You can interchange the word drugs with “altered state of consciousness”. This is what interests me, be it through drugs, meditation, yoga, sex or food. My experiences with drugs have sparked profound life changing revelations. I’ve been sober for the first 30 years of my life and I certainly plan to live the rest of my life in these so called "altered states of consciousness". Strangely enough, psychedelics and cannabis, have opened my spiritu...
Left Behind.
January 31, 2021 17:00 - 45 minutes - 31 MBThere is no doubt christianity shaped who I am today, for better or for worse. Remembering how heavily involved I was, heart-mind-soul (and money) to jesus, my christian past can still arouse some deep emotions. In my quest to awaken from religion, I came across professor Bart D. Ehrman’s work, who was once a staunch born again christian, now an agnostic. Reading his work brought me solace - I wasn’t crazy after all. Prof. Ehrman’s aptly describes, in his book “God’s Problem”, why he is...
Ad Fontes - Back to the Source.
January 31, 2021 17:00 - 23 minutes - 16.5 MBFrom born-again christian, wading through life as an apostate in my 30s, to re-discovering spirituality through drugs, I am figuring my life out before my savings run out. As Sisyphus walked down the hill, I climbed down the proverbial hill to start my life all over again - a life without a husband and without procreating. It all started for me in the church. Here is a conversation with my ex-husband, as we reflect on the cult we escaped together, as we smoke a peace pipe.