Kate Hastings Show

Fighting Forward

phenyx.fit 

How To Shift Your Thinking In Order To Solve Problems.

This can apply to relationships, careers, emotions, health, goals, or anything else you desire, aim for, or want to improve. Outcomes will undoubtedly face challenges, and it is only by focusing on the process and progressing toward the outcome with measurable results that you will be able to achieve your goals.   www.phenyx.fit @coachkate1 

Your Pain Is A Prescription

Wellness Coach  @coachkate1    

5 Traps We Use To Imprison Ourselves and How To Get Free

We all need to be seen. It's part of what makes us human. When we don't allow ourselves to be seen, we diminish our greatness. We undervalue ourselves by lying, withholding, protecting, and defending a false sense of self that isn't our true nature. We limit our potential for greatness by defending things we believe we must defend in order to be worthy of love and respect. @coachkate1 www.phenyx.fit 

Why Do You Hold Yourself Back?

Putting yourself out there requires a willingness to be seen and heard from your truth.  I realized that putting oneself out there begins with yourself. Working from the inside out is the only way to this self discovery. Coach Kate Wellness Coach Phenyx Fit www.phenyx.fit @coachkate1

The Hard Facts Of Letting Go.

@coachkate1 Wellness Coach  

“How Perfectionism Damages Your Mental Health”

Have you ever convinced yourself that you won't be worthy or good enough until you achieve a particular goal?  Setting standards and having goals are extremely important in life.  However, when it's only motivated by that inner critic and unrealistic expectations, it's a formula for reinforcing the hamster wheel of your negative core beliefs.  (not good enough, unworthy, incapable, stupid, failure.)   Perfectionism is motivated by how things will appear and what others will think.  People str...

"The Connection Between Trauma and Self-Betrayal."

Have you noticed in yourself a tendency to minimize your own needs? To not cause a fuss and keep the peace at all costs? These may be reflections of one of codependency’s main symptoms: self-betrayal.  Self-betrayal causes cognitive dissonance. This is when your heart and your head are saying different things. This creates inner conflict which is an invitation to address the issue that is out of alignment. If you are numbing out your feelings and denying reality, you don’t address the conflic...

"What I Learned Recording 100 Episodes"

I think one of the bravest things you can do is start something new when you're not “ready.” Nothing in life will be perfect, and no new beginning will be perfect. To be a beginner in anything takes courage, humility, and a willingness to just put yourself out there.  I was able to see more of my true self and grow into who I am today. I realized what truly mattered to me by looking at my own struggles and strengths.  Listen in to learn about my experience recording 100 episodes!!

365 Days Post Ayahuasca

Integration work is more than just joining a sharing circle, meditating, and eating clean. It signifies facing the shadow, all the forgotten, suppressed, invisible, and unintegrated mental material we left behind as we grew up and into the world.   At a very basic level, ayahuasca integration means cleaning up your act in support of your newly upgraded self. Job, relationships, diet, habits, mindset—all these are up for transformation in the weeks following ceremony. A second aspect of integr...

"Why Your Lies Serve As Pain Killers."

You can begin to learn how lying was used as a traumatic response.  We only lie when it feels unsafe, to tell the truth.  In some cases, lying is the only way to avoid experiencing shame, dysregulation, or other unpleasant emotions if we tell the truth.    When I was a child, my father labeled me a snitch.  I was told I was fine when I wasn't, that everything was fine, that I just needed to get over it, that it didn't matter, that I didn't matter and that I had to get through it.  But my ques...

What Keeps People From Defining and Living Out Their Mission In Life?

Before you can determine your life's mission, I believe it is more necessary and valuable to figure out what prevents you from becoming whatever you want to be in life.  You create this story to match your limiting beliefs, which manifest in a persona you identify with.  The true challenge isn't in the mission it's self its removing the barriers in the way that keep you in a stagnant place.

Your Truth Is A Way Of Life

Be Authentic, Not Cliché

  @coachkate1

You Don’t Have to be Grateful to Improve Your Mental Health

Gratitude  when it is possible. However, while some  from gratitude, for most it is challenging. The reason has to do with an overactive nervous system. For many survivors, the reactive part of the brain is in charge much of the time. This is not because they do not try—or do not want—to be positive. Their nervous system holds them in a constant state of  reactiveness. The pain of trauma has left them feeling “not good enough,” ashamed, guilty, injured, and unworthy. Their upper brain is not ...

Facing The Person Who Is Dangling That Carrot

What are you dependent on every day when you get out of bed?  Likes on social media, how many texts you receive, how many empty people pay attention to you, and how many calories you ate ????  Wake awake and cling to the carrot known as truth.    @coachkate1    

The Root Cause Of Suffering Is Unhealed Pain

Because we don't properly grasp how to see, hear, and comprehend our needs, we don't feel seen, heard, or understood by others. The problem is that most of us are in so much pain and suffering just going about our everyday lives that we feel alone, disheartened, and alienated from our true self.    @coachkate1 Phenyx Fit 1-1 Wellness Coaching   

“Why Healing Feels Like Hell”

When we avoid doing the work that is required to heal, we create a reality of resistance, avoidance, and chaos. Even after the storms have passed, we leave an overcast of suffering, resentment, and disconnect. The aftermath is your identity becoming entwined with the impacted version of yourself. When you heal, you may experience a sense of loss because your identity is closely linked to the person you thought you had to become in order to move on.   @CoachKate1 

What Does Takes To Change?

Have you ever asked yourself what does it truly take to change? I don't mean your physical body, bank account or hair. I’m referring to the type of change that drastically alters your perception of who you are and how you relate to the world. I’m talking about the type of change that provokes your very being at a core level that shifts your habits, emotions, behaviors and to a level of awareness. I can't tell you what the truth is but I can tell you what its not.  Tune in!! @coachkate1 

“The Language Of Lying”

What would your life be like in 10 years if you kept up with your current lies? What's the impact of living this way, and what are you willing to lose? And if you can't face the truth or at least tolerate it, get honest and admit you live a lie by choice.   @coachkate1    

Why It's So Hard To Ask For Help

Struggle to see how anyone would want to help you?  Ask yourself these 3 questions:      • While you were growing up what kind of messages did you get about asking for help? • Did your family place more value on “doing it yourself” or “letting others in?” • When you did attempt to reach out in childhood, how did the people in your life respond?   @coachkate1

Why It's Hard To Say No

Remember that you are afraid of the response and emotion that the word no will conjure up in you, not the word itself. Saying yes when you want to say no comes at a price: You burn out, you experience anxiety, and you devalue yourself. You have relationships that are toxic and you become resentful. You disrespect yourself and allow added stress to play the victim to not focus on you and your life.  Remember that you don't have to respond right away.  You can say: I need to check my calander i...

How Anxiety Shows Up In Relationships

Anxiety can manifest itself in various ways when it comes to relationships. Fear of being left behind or not asking for things could be signs of anxiety in a relationship.   It can control your thoughts and affect many aspects of your life. Anxiety crumbles your authentic voice, causing panic and lack of self-confidence. Do you ever ? Wondering if you matter? Wait for something to go wrong? Look for reasons to break up? Constantly thinking your partner wants to break up?  Missing out on good ...

Why You Think It’s Too Good To Be True

Whenever something good happens, something bad follows. Living with the expectation that sh*t will eventually hit the fan makes it difficult to acknowledge and accept when life is actually going good. It's difficult to celebrate your success when you feel unworthy of your achievement.You are deserving of good things. You weren’t put on this Earth to live “well enough,” you are meant to live an abundant, beautiful life.   @coachkate1

The Cost Of Not Living Your Truth

I don't think we ever ask ourselves, "Are we living our truth?" or "What does that even mean?" Instead, I think we grow up to conform to the truths surrounding us, which may or may not be aligned, but I believe that no one except you can determine that meaning. Before you can live and express your truth, I believe you must first confront the extent to which you tell yourself lies. Ask yourself how much debt you have in your life? What's the impact of living this way? Is my environment and lif...

Living in a state of "survival mode"

Living in a perpetual state of survival is detrimental to our health, relationships, goals, and overall quality of life. Stress is a warning sign; it prepares us to survive, whether by running or fighting the threat. However, it is not a condition in which one may prosper or live life with peace.  You settle for a lot less because you're frightened actually to put yourself out there. So you isolate and keep people at a distance. You avoid, overcompensate, judge, fear, flee, and hide. Surviva...

Why healing is hard.

When you're doing the work, but it's still difficult. We refuse to heal because we do not want to endure the unbearable pain of uncovering buried feelings, fears, and memories. You are unstoppable once you have fully immersed yourself in your truth. To avoid pain or discomfort, we typically control aspects of ourselves and our lives. Pain is unpleasant, so we do this to alleviate it. But we also do this because we are worried that we are not deserving of something greater.   IG: @Coachkate1 @...

How to heal and experience love & compassion for yourself. 

You can't heal what you don't feel.

Tolerating the intolerable drains you spiritually, emotionally, and mentally. Have you ever been in an obviously terrible situation and felt nothing at all? Do you suffer from a lack of emotional detachment from yourself and others, resulting from your inability to feel?  A few bullets I touch upon in this episode. 1.) Recognizing your childhood mantra...  "Get a grip," "suck it up," and "mind over matter," "You're fine," it's not that bad." 2.) What are you tolerating and why? (truth) 3.) Wh...

Why RED FLAGS are overlooked and feel familiar.

Have you ever thought to yourself, “How did I get here?” Why do the same friends, relationships, and events keep repeating? Almost everyone at one point in life has chosen to overlook red flags. We’ve suppressed our inner voice, which begged us to break up with that friend, don’t marry that person, and leave that toxic job. You are not weak or stupid, but human. Trial and error will be a part of the healing process; we won’t get everything right the first time. However, we can learn from our ...

Why do people stay in toxic relationships?

I speak from my personal experiences and can say I have a Ph.D. in this topic.  By becoming aware of the patterns in your relationships, you can see what exactly you are attracted to. You cannot control what you’re not aware of. However, you can develop awareness and create new patterns. Why do you keep choosing the same toxic relationships over and over again? If you’ve been abused in previous relationships (or in childhood), you may have a hard time labeling abuse as abuse because you’ve gr...

Things That Happen When You Meet A Good Guy After Toxic/Abusive Relationships

Abusive/toxic relationships makes you distrustful of others and yourself. You become sidetracked by how long you put up with a terrible relationship and environment. So guilt and humiliation rule your existence. You believe all men are bad. This kind of nice treatment is love bombing and manipulation, it can’t be real. You expect guys to leave without closure or to diminish your self-worth. But every day, the good guy shows he's the same guy. Someone has told you that you don't deserve the be...

Why isn't anyone encouraging you to look into these areas of your health if you're depressed or anxious?

If you're depressed, anxious, fatigued, or have an autoimmune disease, these are the things you should look into before medication. One of the first recommendations when dealing with depression, anxiety, fatigue, or an autoimmune disease is medication. It took over ten years to develop the information I'm about to share. This is what I did to heal myself without medication through alternative medicine, therapy, food, supplements, personal development, and exercise. Listen in as I dissect all ...

PTSD Treatment - Stellate Ganglion Block Injection

A traumatic experience impacts your perception of your life and yourself, resulting in psychological trauma. People with PTSD are continuously scared of their bodies, and they've honed their skills at ignoring gut instincts and numbing awareness of what's going on inside. By precisely placing long-acting local anesthetic (ropivacaine) around the stellate ganglion, the unproductive and chronic “fight or flight” response is turned off for several hours. This allows neurotransmitters in the brai...

How to release attachment?

Why attachment? There are many ways to be attached to things in life, like having attachments to people, emotions, jobs, image, food, and so on. Attachment typically stems from a fear of losing control. Can you make friends with the unknown and accept things as they come your way?  What would happen if you lost that attachment?  What fears might come true?  What would be available in my life if I let go of that attachment ? We suffer when we put our happiness dependent on others, money, succe...

How to set up your goals for success

The primary reason why individuals fail to achieve their goals is because they cannot identify a strong correlation between the desired outcome and the actual actions needed to achieve it.   Outcome goals are the end results you want to accomplish, while process goals are the stages you'll need to take to get there. The outcomes goals are not always entirely predictable. The most usual issue individuals fail to achieve their goals is because they are unable to link the desired outcome to the ...

Why affirmations & positive self-talk are not always effective

Affirmations are useful but not always effective. Positive affirmations could even do more harm than good. I’ll explain my point of view.    People have a hard time believing things that they know aren't true. Bold statements will almost certainly be met with resistance, and they may even backfire, resulting in a stronger defense of one's original viewpoint.   Positive affirmations do not work because they are directed at the conscious level of your mind rather than the unconscious level of y...

How to have a relationship with yourself

You've probably heard that the most important relationship you have is with yourself. However, how frequently do you hear of people who are working towards that goal?  We are born into this world and advised to find a life partner, but we are never taught or shown how to develop a relationship with ourselves.   Treat yourself, eat some cake, get your nails done, take a bath, and love yourself….That isn't love.   Recognizing, overcoming, facing, and grieving those aspects of yourself that no l...

Why do we destroy the things we want & love?

Why do we destroy the very things we want in life ? Why do we want love yet take all the wrong actions towards fulfilling that desire ?  What if the things you struggle to acknowledge in others you lack within yourself?  What if every failed relationship is just a reflection of the relationship with yourself?    @coachkate1 

How to support your mental/physical health, and the difference between mental illness & mental health.

Just  like our physical health, everyone has mental health. Mental health and physical health go hand in hand, I believe that having one without the other and the meaning we assign to it is where I see the disconnect.  Physical health is the state and functioning of your entire body, and mental health is the state of your emotions, mind and over all daily feelings. ‘Mental health’ and ‘mental illnesses are being used as if they mean the same thing, but they are not. Mental illness can be clas...

Beauty is in the Mind of the Beholder, Who Sets the Standards?

We live in a world full of beauty standards defined by external factors like the media and society. Have you ever stopped to think what beauty standards you are personally following and why?  Realizing there is a subconscious programing, that we were either born into or inherited by our external environments that shaped our thinking. Why are we following a standards that have nothing to do with our personal beliefs, values and level of standards?  How can you truly be happy by living and view...

The path not paved

  I love speaking in metaphors and this episode is all about when you choose to pave your own path in life.  We are all on this journey called life, right? Every day we are working towards something and there is a path to that goal. The path others expect of us, or the path you know that’s driven from your internal GPS.   When you see roadblocks do you see a STOP signs or opportunities?   When you have to make a detour do you use it to your advantage or keep going in the wrong direction? Have...

Are you motivated or are you driven?

Most motivation crumples under any test of hardship or adversity. Motivation is unreliable due the fact it relies mostly on emotions and external forces generating it. Motivation makes you feel like you can do something for the time being. While being driven keeps you in the game for the long run. Being driven is different. It’s an obsession that consumes you to act regardless of your circumstances or feelings. It’s a pull not a push. It’s choosing something outside of how you feel due to the...

Through action, you build belief

By challenging your current beliefs through action, will you begin to conquer your limiting beliefs. I think how anyone got from point A – to B wasn’t by thinking alone, it was by taking action. Or else we would all close our eyes and be millionaires with a 6 pack by now. How do you build confidence? You do things that require you to be confident.… and eventually you become that.  Of course, the mental aspect is just as important but where most people get stopped is in their minds. So it only...

Identity based goals

The way to building lasting habits is focusing on creating a new identity first rather than the goal. Your current behaviors, belief system and mindsets are a reflection of your current identity. What you do now is a mirror image of the type of person you believe that you are, consciously or subconsciously. To transform your behavior for good, you need to start believing new things about yourself and what's possible for you. “I want to lose weight”  “I want to lose 20 pounds”  These goals are...

"It's just what I do"

The way to building lasting habits is focusing on creating a new identity first rather than the goal. Your current behaviors, belief system and mindsets are a reflection of your current identity. What you do now is a mirror image of the type of person you believe that you are, consciously or subconsciously. To transform your behavior for good, you need to start believing new things about yourself and what's possible for you. “I want to lose weight”  “I want to lose 20 pounds”  These goals are...

Post Ayahuasca

Here in this podcast I share my life after Ayahuasca. Its been 90 days since I've gotten back from Peru and the trip truly begins when you get home.  Ayahuasca, although miraculous, is not a cure. She does not prevent us from having to face what we have avoided until we sit with her. She can only open the door. We still have to walk through it. Tune in to how I've been walking through the doors that have been opened for me and the ups and downs after Ayahuasca. My overall experience was life-...

How are your needs met?

Once we are more in touch with our needs and values, we can actively align our lives to honor our values and meet our needs, using them to guide our behavior so that we are able to live more fulfilling and meaningful lives. Simply taking a moment to ask yourself what they are ?   So ask yourself: What are my needs? What are my personal prerequisites for happiness? Not what the commercials or your friends are telling you. What is your soul telling you? Do you need more creativity, passion, fun...

How do you handle failure?

How do you handle failure? It is human to fail. It is human to make mistakes. So why do we shame and avoid it? Knowing how you handle failure is just as important as reaching success. Get clear about what you consider to be success first, and make sure that it’s your concept, not your what your friends and family think success is. Failing is life’s way of showing you that you need to improve, grow and shift your approach. But keep your goal and aim the same. It’s not about how big or small...

Excuses

Find an excuse to win, not to loose. The distance between where you are right now and where you really want to go can be measured by the amount of excuses you make or don’t make. Our brains are wired to keep us safe, and making excuses sounds rational to keep us out of harms way. Thank goodness we have the instinct to avoid dangerous situations, but it also keep most people from not really going after what they want. A tiger chasing you and you opening a new business, the same alert goes off...