EQ Gangster

#202: What’s Your Emotional Intelligence Inventory of 2021?

This episode is sponsored by LimaCharlieNetwork.com, an amazing team of active duty & military veteran podcasters! Check out more info at https://www.limacharlienetwork.com/.   Get ready! This episode has a lot of great, questions to use during your After Action Review (AAR) of this past year.    Reflecting on the questions in this episode will help you gather insights & lessons learned from 2021 & begin 2022 with a great emotional awareness & maybe even game plan on how to make 2022...

#201: My Dad Died 13 Years Ago On This Day & I Still Miss Him

Whew, this was an emotional episode for me.    I share my thoughts on the importance of grieving & mourning loved ones and a few practical steps on how to grieve & mourn in a healthy productive way.   There are also a handful of challenging questions to reflect on about your own emotional availability for those closest to you when they’re going through difficult times.    Also a thought on what you want your family legacy to be.   If you’re ready to take your emotional growth...

#200: 2 Years In Review. Interviewed By My Wife on 200 Episodes. 

Kathy asked me some really interesting questions that were great to reflect on over the past 200 episodes.   I’d love to hear how some of you would answer some of these questions, too!    Sign up for our New Year Emotional Intelligence 5-Day Challenge, too! Link is below.    If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join our EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.

#199: Are You As Teachable As You Think You Are? How Is Your Degree of Teachability Impacting You?

What’s the goal of emotional intelligence?   How teachable do you think you are?    How does your level of teachableness impact your performance?    Two components in the EQi Assessment that make the EQ assessment unique: the Decision Making Composite & the Stress Management Composite. The EQ sub-element, Reality Testing, is in the Decision Making component.    How accurate is your Reality Testing? How is your Reality Testing impacting or even possibly negatively impacting yo...

#197: 2 Massive Breakthroughs (Boundaries/Cutting People Off & Learning)

Two conversations led to two massive breakthroughs that have eluded me for at least 4 years.    One breakthrough came from a podcast interview I did w/@amythelifecoach where she helped uncover why I have a tendency to cut people out of my life if they violate one of my boundaries.   The other breakthrough came via a conversation w/my wife who helped me understand what has been hindering my learning capacity.    How good are you at discovering the origin story of your emotions & b...

#196: Your Family Genogram, How Is Your Family of Origin Impacting You Personally & Professionally

Have you ever done a Genogram before?    This episode shares a phenomenal exercise to better understand some of the reasons of why you do what you do.    A “genogram” is a family “map”.  It’s a great visual way to better understand your family history and how your family history may be impacting your leadership & your personal & professional behaviors that may not be healthy or productive for you anymore.   I learned this exercise from Peter & Geri Scazzero in their One Day Emo...

#195: West Point Grad & Business Mgr On Relationships, Ed Stover

d Stover is a West Point grad, Class of 1996 & played on the Army football team that went 4 - 0 against the Naval Academy. He’s a successful business manager and is absolutely amazing at relationships. He shares some excellent insights about maintaining important relationships.   Be your authentic, genuine self.   Invest in relationships.   Be relationally curious.   Put yourself in other people's shoes.   Let people know you’re thinking of them.   Ed Stover (LinkedIn...

#194:Huge Childhood Epiphany on Current Behavior, My High Independence

This episode shares a recent insight into one of my childhood emotional origin stories around my strong desire for Independence.    Independence is one of the 15 elements of Emotional Intelligence.   My Independence score on my EQi Assessment was very high, but I never understood why.   To begin healing an area in your life, even if it is a “good area” (like strong independence), discovering the origin story of that area is critical.   If you’re ready to take your emotional g...

#193: Mindfulness, Hugs & the Power of Words With Author & Voice Actor, Rob Actis

Rob Actis is the author of the #1 bestselling book The Law of Action. A lifelong go-getter, action taker and serial entrepreneur, Rob used the Law of Action to achieve his lifelong dream of speaking on TV, radio, and, to become a successful audiobook narrator of over 30 titles available on Audible.com.   He shares his journey where he discovered his purpose & passion very early on in life & he pursued it relentlessly while encountering numerous challenges & difficulties. His daughter alm...

#192: Flatter Leadership Company Chairman & USMC(R) on the Intersection Between EQ & Leadership

Courage is the foundation of leadership.   Where does courage come from?   Where does drive or charisma come from?    Is leadership a function of nature or nurture?   If you’re not uncomfortable, you’re not growing.   I’m a life long-learner.   As a life-long learner, I’m always a novice.   How have you gotten comfortable in leadership?   Leadership continuum: Technical component Cognitive component Emotional component    Do I want to engage in Emoti...

#191: Lessons & Reminders From My 25 Year West Point Reunion (Part 3)

Some relationships will produce a return & some won’t & that’s ok. Invest in relationships anyway.    Does your time budget reflect the value you say you put on relationships?    Be sure to establish healthy boundaries in both your personal & professional relationships. The consequences can be minuscule or catastrophic.    Don’t underestimate or overlook the value of relationships.    Healthy relationships come from emotionally healthy individuals.    It takes emotional I...

#190: Lessons & Reminders From My 25 Year West Point Reunion (Part 2)

It is exciting learning about & discovering people.    Active listening (w/your whole body) is rare.    Every person you meet is an opportunity to grow, learn & sharpen your listening skills (&, therefore, empathy).    Every conversation is an opportunity to make someone feel important, seen, heard & valued with intentional, active, curious listening.    How am I structuring my life to match my core values?    We’re not wealthy but I’m so thankful we’re Billionaires regar...

#189: Lessons & Reminders From My 25 Year West Point Reunion (Part 1)

How important relationships are—mentally & emotionally.      Relationships are good for the soul.   The quality of your life is determined by the quality of your relationships. -Michael Fletcher    relationship audit   When you sow into relationships w/out expectations, you can reap 30, 60, 100 fold. I unexpectedly reaped so much this weekend. So many of my amazing classmates made feel so seen, loved, valued & appreciated. I will be forever grateful.   The right relatio...

#188: Tips to Grow Your Relationship via Long Distance, Deployment or TDY

This episode is for anyone that travels, has any type of long distance relationships, deploys or goes on TDY and wants effective ideas on how to continue growing your relationships even while apart.   Please share this w/anyone you know who also might fit into this category.   These are excellent actionable steps that have been game changing for me during my travels & deployment.   Thank you for rating, reviewing, subscribing & sharing our podcast & YouTube channel!    If you...

#187: On Loneliness & Suffering with Author & Mental Health Counselor, Dr. Mark Mayfield

Bullied, attempted suicide. Became a Youth Minister.  Got his Masters In Counseling Worked in the Inner City w/Gangs & people w/substance abuse Earned his PhD in Clinical Counseling & Mental Health Founder of Mayfield Cousnling Centers   Author of The Path Out of Loneliness book https://www.amazon.com/Path-out-Loneliness-Fostering-Connection/dp/1641583398   He discussed: Avoidance Attunement Attachment   Learning how to be old friends w/your emotions.    Hi...

#186: I Still Have A People Pleasing Addiction and I’m Super embarrassed.

I’m embarrassed, frustrated, exposed, sad, disappointed, upset at my behavior on a recent Professional Coaching call w/a cohort of about 15-20 other professionals. I share the story in this episode.   Where do you seek approval?    From whom do you seek approval?   From where do you seek validation?   From where do you get your value?    How valuable do you think you are?   Who impacts your mood?    What impacts your mood?    What is your identity?    Who ...

#185: How Are Your Emotions Impacting Your Ability to Receive Grace In Your Life? Christians beware.

How do you define grace?   What is grace?   What does grace mean to you?   What impacts grace?   How much grace do you have for others?   How much grace do you have for yourself?   How good are you at forgiving others?   How good are you at forgiving yourself?   1 Corinthians 3:16-17 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 Matthew 6:14-15   Why do people who love Jesus have the same exact divorce rate, suicide rate, depression, addiction, domestic abuse, and mental heal...

#184: How is Your EQ Impacting Your Personality & Your Strengths? Are Your Emotional Arteries Blocked? 

Insights from our first EQ Mafia Membership training.    How is your EQ impacting or limiting your personality AND your strengths?    There are emotionally healthy AND unhealthy versions of each personality.   How emotionally healthy are you & how is that impacting how you show up to the world?    How is your emotional health impacting or limiting your strengths?    Could you have even stronger strengths if you were healthier emotionally?    To begin your emotional fi...

#183: Self-Awareness & Finding a Life Coach, With Life Coach Amy Fiedler (*EXPLICIT*) 

Such a fun interview with Amy!    She shares her backstory & how her tumultuous relationship with her family ultimately led her to developing amazing self-awareness and into a successful career as a Life Coach.   Some of the excellent points she shares in this episode: How to develop self-awareness How to differentiate if you need a therapist or a coach What to look for in finding a therapist or a coach Getting curious about yourself The effects of observing a parent modelin...

#182: The Power of a Coach. How Could a Coach Unlock Your Potential.

Free Course at eqgangster.com   EQ Mafia Opening Soon!    Have you ever had a coach?    When?    For how long?   Do a COACHING AUDIT    What was the impactful coach you’ve ever had?   What impact did they have on you?   What lessons did you learn from them?   Why were they so impactful for you?   Do you currently have a coach?    Why?   Why not?    Do you feel you’re operating at your max potential?    If not, why wouldn’t you seek out ...

#181: Ranger Bible Stories: 3 Lessons from Acts 5 Like You’ve Never Heard

Lesson 1: A Real Estate Deal Gone Bad! (Don’t lie. Can your character withstand scrutiny?)   Lesson 2: From Wuss to Warrior: Peter had previously disowned & denied Jesus 3x & then shortly thereafter, he began re-walking in his calling / purpose by healing many & bringing many into a relationship w/God.   Lesson 3: Do you even lift bro? Are you prepared for mental, emotional & spiritual conflict? The time to train in each of those areas is not once you’re already in the fight. You wan...

#180: Insightful Questions From An 18-Year Old About EQ

Some fun & insightful questions from an 18-year old young lady in my Brazilian Jiu Jitsu (BJJ) class:    She asked me “So, Noble, what do you do?”   “I teach emotional intelligence.”    “What does that mean?” she asked.   I responded, “I increase the capacity of high achievers.”    She asked, “What’s a high achiever?”   She asked the following questions: How does someone know if they need to work on their emotional intelligence? How many people need to work on EQ? ...

#179: How EQ Impacts Conversation, Debate & Beliefs (Spring Canyon, CO)

Genesis 4:1-17   Who would you rather be, Cain or Abel?    We are all much more like Cain than Abel.   That story is in the Bible to tell us we’re much more like Cain than Abel…now what are we gonna do about it?    American Indian Cherokee Parable of the 2 wolves   God isn’t true because the Bible said so. The Bible is true because God said so.    Hold my own beliefs up to objective Truth regularly. It’s not about what I want to be true.    Culture seeps in & trie...

#178: The Emotional Power of Your Environment

How many physical environments have you been to that have gotten you emotional?     Where was it?   Why did you get emotional?   What season of your life was it?   I completely got emotional at Lake Cotton near Buena Vista, CO in the mountains as the yellow flickering Aspen leaves were changing.    It was almost a transformative experience just being there.   One of the most powerful environments I’ve ever been in.   Even felt closer to God there.   Where do y...

#177: A Quick EQ Transformation Success Story & the EQ Mafia Launch Update

  I was shocked at the amount of progress one of my corporate clients had in the span of just a week.    He demonstrated total ownership of his lack of emotional intelligence and took action on every single EQ exercise I recommended.   He created tremendous momentum in his emotional growth in just a week.   The EQ Mafia will be launching this month!    If you’re new to EQ, check out our free course giving an overview to Emotional Intelligence and the 4 Deadly Sins of Emotio...

#176: Gratefulness & Mindfulness Exercise, The Importance of Presence

So thankful for all of you.   What are the consequences of being ungrateful?    What are the consequences of not being mindful or present?    Depressed? Spending too much time in the past.   Anxious or stressed? Spending too much time in the future.   Mindful & present is the goal in getting a solid grasp of reality.   Control what you can control:  Actions Attitude Gratitude   What is the relationship between gratitude & confidence?   What are you grate...

#175: 4 Leadership & Emotional Intelligence Lessons from PFC Gideon in the Bible (Judges 6-8)

1.) Who was the first cut God made from the Israeli army & why? 2.) Who ultimately remained on Gideon’s army of 300 and why?  3.) Did God surround Gideon w/potentially fearless men because Gideon was afraid? 4.) Gideon appeared emotionally controlled by fear almost all the way up to the Israeli army’s attack. 5.) Bonus--what impact did Gideon’s lack of understanding his identity have on his leadership?   Check out our FREE EQ101 Course w/the 4 Deadly Sins of Emotions at eqgangste...

#174: 3 Questions About My People-Pleasing Addiction

Do I still care what people think of me as a recovering people-pleaser addict?   How did people-pleasing dilute my clear-cut goals for the future?   How important is goal-setting to you now as a recovering people-pleaser?   Would you say emotional & personal growth are the gateways to accomplishing any goal in your life?   How personality impacts goal-setting.   Financial independence w/out emotional independence isn’t independence.   Financial freedom w/out emotional...

#173: The Power of a Kind Word, Kind Deed, Random Acts of Kindness

I’ve had a few of my college classmates reach out to me completely out of the blue and share some kind words that have been rays of sunshine on a cloudy day.   Emotional / mental health to receive emotional / mental health to give   When is the last time you sent an encouraging message, text, letter, quote, thought to a friend out of the blue.   Try it.   Do it right now or as soon as you finish this episode.    Text someone Call someone Pray for someone Encourage...

#172: How Teachable Is Your Organization? How Teachable Are You?

If you had to rate your organization’s teachability on a Scale from 1 - 10, how would you rate it?   How teachable are you?   Is being teachable or coachable important to you (as a leader)?   Your organization, family, team will value or reflect the values YOU value.   Would your team, staff, company, peers, say you’re teachable? Why?   I was a part of an organization that was very narcissistic b/c a number of the senior leaders were narcissistic.    How teachable is ...

#171 What Does Emotionally Healthy Conflict Look / Feel Like? Breakthrough!

Want to share a huge breakthrough for me.   Massive POG: Proof of Growth for me!   How do you handle conflict?   How does conflict make you feel?   How do you know how “good” you are at conflict?   Who do you know that is good in conflict?   What does healthy, productive conflict look like?    How do you define healthy, productive conflict?   What stories / “truths” have you told yourself about conflict?    Let me give you a couple examples w/what conflict...

#170: The EQ Journey “Spiral Staircase with Psychologist & BJJ Purple Belt, Jerry Novack (Explicit)

#169: Symptoms vs the Source

  First Responders Military Corporate America   Symptoms: Top Medical Guy at a large Army base (COL) Lots of suicide Lots of DUIs Lots of anger issues, domestic abuse, depression, etc...   Solutions: bandaids 1.) Lock up their weapons on post 2.) Close ABC liquor stores 1-2 hours sooner each day 3.) Have more Designated Drivers available 4.) Medication   SYMPTOMS are fine BUT STILL NOT ADDRESSING THE SOURCE…THE EMOTIONAL HEALTH OF THE INDIVIDUAL SOLDIER, FIR...

#168: The 5 Dysfunctions of a Team & EQ

This episode briefly discusses the 5 dysfunctions of a team from Patrick Lencioni’s book.   Each dysfunction is directly impacted by the individual & collective emotional intelligence of the team.   Each personality type views trust differently & that is incredibly important.   The 5 Dysfunctions of a Team by Patrick Lencioni https://www.amazon.com/Five-Dysfunctions-Team-Leadership-Fable/dp/0787960756/   Thank you for watching / listening, rating, reviewing, sharing & subs...

#167: How to Handle Big Emotions on a Team

Thank you for watching / listening, rating, reviewing, sharing & subscribing.   Corporate client who does a lot of work in healthcare—lots of hospitals & clinics around the country.   Visited one of largest in the state he was working in & it is at 60% staffed. And the staff who are there…are overworked, overwhelmed & completely exhausted—mentally, physically, & emotionally.   Going to possibly be doing a brief workshop on emotional health & EQ for a SWAT team. The number of LEOs...

#166: Lessons from a Worldclass Athlete & 4th Degree BJJ Black Belt, Professor Marcelo Motta

Great life lessons shared by my Brazilian Jiu Jitsu Professor, 4th Degree Black Belt and world class athlete.    We discuss his BJJ journey from his childhood through his experience as a world class competitor and almost 20 years as a black belt.   How has your childhood impacted who you are today?   Who has inspired you throughout your life?   Who do you inspire?   How resilient are you?   How have you grown your resilience?   How intentional are you at growing y...

#165: 9 Insights from Psychologist & BJJ Purple Belt, Dr. Jerry Novak

8.19.21   1.) Stuff & avoid leads to stewing & brooding    2.) Unpleasant emotions represent unmet needs.   3.) Stuffing & avoiding comes from shame?    4.) What is the relationship between value & performance? If I’m not doing something to earn it, shame may come.   5.) Cure for shame is vulnerability.    6.) Vulnerability to allow yourself to be seen & still be loved.    7.) We don’t compare suffering. Don’t judge suffering.    8.) Emotions are like trying...

#164 From Traumatic Childhood to Fitness Trainer & the Power of Forgiveness. (Explicit)

Rob shares his riveting life story of being almost aborted to finding out at age 6 that his ‘dad’ wasn’t actually his dad. He shares stories & life lessons from his traumatic childhood & jumping out of a 3-story window trying to kill himself & even sexually assaulted by the worship pastor of a megachurch. So many things to pull out of his story one of which is the powerful lesson of forgiveness to where he’s at now as a successful personal trainer.   While you’re listening to this powerf...

#163: Connection Factors in Relationships

Mentor Podcast Ep #4 Personality styles in relationship to emotional intelligence.   Dominant / Choleric personality and the Steady / Phlegmatic personalities are less emotional than the Sanguine / Influencer and Melancholy / Conscientious personalities.   What determines the depth & level of connection in relationships—personally & professionally?    How important is connection in relationships—personally & professionally?   How does the depth of connection    The qual...

#162: The 3 Buckets of Stress Sources, An EQ Exercise & Transformation Story

This episode covers a powerful extreme transformation of one of my corporate coaching clients.    I share the emotional exercise I gave him to do over the weekend that took him from being completely emotionally hijacked (an emotional “1” to a “9” emotionally in 2 days.   Join our EQ Membership at https://www.eqgangster.com/mafia

#161: How Much and What Kind of Value Do You Add To Those Around You?

#160: Massaging Your Emotional Knots

Powerful analogy about how our emotions impact us that can eventually lead to getting completely emotionally hijacked.   Unaddressed emotional issues can cause emotional “knots”.    If we don’t take the time / make the time to “massage” our emotional “knots” they WILL turn into an emotional “charlie horse” that can “lock up” your emotional “muscles”.    You “massage” your emotional “knots” by “going A.P.E.”   “A”: Acknowledge your emotions. “P”: Permission to feel those emo...

#159: Two Life Lessons From Luis, a 10 Year Mortician

If you feel an inkling to reach out to someone to tell them how they impacted  you or how much you love & appreciate them, reach out to them & tell them how they made you feel. Don’t let them die without you telling them. You don’t want to live with that regret. If there is a goal or dream you’ve always wanted, now is the time to pursue it. Don’t wait. Don’t hesitate. I learned the first lesson after my father died 11 years ago. He told me for 3 years that he love me, he was proud of m...

#158: 13 Lessons from My Most Recent Funk

How I feel after 2 months of being in a funk & some of the lessons I’ve learned.   Lesson from finally returning back to Brazilian Jiu Jitsu (BJJ) after taking 2 mos off.   BJJ is therapy for me, physically, mentally & emotionally.   Physical exercise is huge in helping us through emotional low points. Even 5 push-ups a day or 10 sit-ups or even just stretching. Do SOMETHING physical throughout an emotional funk.   Yes, I made poor eating decisions the past 2 mos & didn’t exerc...

#157: The Power of Reaching Out

In this episode I share about the overwhelming power of reaching out to friends, family & co-workers that may or may not be struggling.   I share a couple very encouraging, even overwhelming stories of how so many in my life showed me support during the emotional funk I’ve been going through.   My neighborhood fb group supported me. My West Point classmates supported me. Sooo many friends & family supported me. It was overwhelming at how encouraging everyone has been through this sea...

#156: 3 Steps Forward & 2 Steps Back (I’ve Not Been Doing Well)

Disclaimer: I’m not a psychologist or psychiatrist or therapist.   Seek professional help if you need it.   I’ve been emotionally constipated the past couple months.   I’ve been doing the 4 “Deadly” Emotional “Sins”.   Not being controlled by our emotions but being in more control over our emotions.   The past couple months have been very challenging for me.    Going through the VA System & talking to my counselor / therapist has opened up some very challenging, inten...

#155: What Makes You Come Alive? The Power of Work & Home Environment (Red Lodge, MT)

Episode from Rock Creek in Red Lodge, MT.    What makes you come alive?    Where makes you come alive?    How it made me feel jumping in the frigid Rock Creek in Red Lodge, MT.   Invigorating Empowering Alive Exuberant Exciting Physically present Emotionally present Spiritually present Soul filling   What events, activities, environments are soul-filling for you?   Have you ever had a soul-filling experience before?   When / where do you lose track...

#154 Family Legacy, What Have You Learned From Your Family & What Will You Pass On?

#153: The Emotional Consequences of Political Decisions, The Silent Pandemic

    This is not a political post.    This is to discuss the emotional consequences of some of the decisions from a few different countries in the world.    There is a silent pandemic that is also impacting & affecting tens of thousands & potentially hundreds of thousands of people around the globe…that main stream media is not covering. It’s deadly all the same.   How are you doing emotionally?    How have you coped throughout the pandemic the past 12-18 mos?   How ar...

#152: How Quality Impacts Emotions

List the brands you use on a regular basis.   List what emotions / feelings each of those brands elicit.   What brands will you not do business with.   What emotions / feelings do those brands elicit.   What brand do you represent?    What emotions / feelings do you think your brand elicits?   What emotions / feelings does your personal brand elicit?   List the emotions that you’d like your (personal) brand to elicit?   What level of quality do you enjoy consu...