Daddio Patio

DP91 - Marilyn Manson

This week, we're joined by our old friend Jared, you might remember him from the variety hour episode wayyy back in the day. There's no forgiving us for this one, this episode starts off pretty thoughtful and sincere, but has an M. Night Shyamalan twist at the end. We won't give anything away, but for the record, we'd like to state that it's not okay to drive drunk, but it is okay to get those bottom two ribs removed and live the rest of your days like Marilyn Manson, in pleasure. 

DP90 - Cage Match Face / Off

We're back. This week the Daddios really show their age by their inability to understand music genres that happened in like 2010. Hey, are we on the wrong timeline? Will Smith turned down being Neo in The Matrix so he could be in Wild Wild West, then that movie spawned the steampunk subculture. Also, Nick Cage was supposed to be a Tim Burton Superman. So instead of all this potential, we got a reality tv clown for a president and a bunch of people pretending to still use steam. Every time ...

DP89 - McDavis With Cheese

It’s been a little while, but we’re back. This week we’re talking about fights. What is it that makes humans so excited by violence, real or simulated? Are we still just a bunch of sophisticated primates? This leads the Daddios to deeper questions, like what brought humanity into self-awareness? Was it the touch of an alien’s fingers, or was it psilocybin mushrooms, was it Dave Thomas from Wendy’s? Also where were you on 9/11? For an episode about violence and struggle, this one turned out...

DP88 - P.H.C.R. / Thanks 2 Japan 🇯🇵

Hey it’s another episode from your absent hosts. Andy’s computer is still broken and there have been a lot of life events, so we’re doing the best we can! Anyway, what’s up with George Washington? He kinda looks weird. His original portrait that they based the dollar bill on is still hanging in the Crystal Bridges Museum in Bentonville Arkansas. It’s just too bad that beautiful museum of American art is built on Wal Mart blood money. Apparently, if you have enough money, you can get away wit...

DP87 - Mummy Sandwich

Hey, sorry we're late, but we're actually not late, because this episode will come out before the last two we recorded come out, so ya see, we're really in the future. Anyway, Andy's computer broke and we're all busy, so there's been a delay, but we still managed to bring this episode to you with minimal technology, and no fancy editing.    Anyway this episode is about peer pressure, or it was supposed to be. We veered off into talking about sandwiches that resemble your high school crus...

DP86 - ⛑Time Helps All Wounds⛑

As living organisms, our bodies and minds have an incredible power to heal themselves. Throughout life, we encounter all these emotional and physical pains, but we just keep tickin', it's crazy! If your soul needs to be put on that machine that heals all six of your Pokemon at once, then check out this episode. This week, we're joined by Emily to discuss our scars, both emotional & physical. Join us! Also, what the fuck is in a Slim Jim?

DP85 - 🍔Booger Burger🍔

This week, we have a long overdue dream guest: SKULL. As usual, we talk about the slimey 90’s. What’s up with that? I mean we had a whole series of shows where people just got slimed, even the logos were slimy. Have you ever been slimed? or had any kind of oil spilled on you. One time Lance’s cousin spilled bacon grease on him, the revenge that Lance took was "the most heinous thing he's ever done to another human being". Tune in to find out what it was!  Also, what the fuck are jeans fo...

DP84 - 🔥BURNDAY🔥

Alright people, you asked for it and here it is! Five straight, white, aging, middle class, midwestern men sitting around mumbling about Taco Bell, the internet, and our changing world. Hey, we know you demand poo poo pee pee jokes and Mortal Kombat references from us, but it’s time to get serious, listen up! The world is in peril and Daddio Patio has all the solutions!  Or wait… we thought we did! Shit, things change! That’s actually the topic of this episode: change. Our generation of mi...

DP83 - 🍀Peedetermined Luck🍀

We recorded this episode around St. Patrick’s day, so we talked about luck, Ireland, and all that kind of stuff. Speaking of luck, we had some back luck with this recording, the whole freakin’ episode sounds like you’re inside a microwave with five dudes. Speakin’ of warmth, there’s a lot of pee in this episode. Look, we’re not proud of it. Yeah this pottycast sounds like a lukewarm Hot Pocket in the microwave, but you should be grateful. If you’re a real fan, you’ll realize that this episod...

DP82 - 🍼Mr. Milk🍼

Oh, you want another episode? Our pleasure! On this episode of Daddio Patio, the Daddios are joined by Nick Schleicher to discuss the snacks that make us happy. Nothing like eating a little junk food to give you that moment of pleasure you need in this world of carnage and tragedy. Food just tastes amazing, especially when it’s horrible for your health. There’s just nothing like sinking your fangs into the caramel of yet another Samoa Girl Scout cookie only to realize you’ve consumed 300 g...

DP81 - Stone Age Disco Weiner

It’s down there, it always is. Even when you’re gone, your basement is there, underground, housing critters, waitin’ for ya. How many things have happened in your basement that you don’t even know about? How many ghosts do you think wander through there every night?    And what’s the deal with the history of white people? They went around calling everyone “savages” while they did their barbaric bullshit, as if they were the undisputed protagonists the whole time. If aliens are watching, ...

DP80 - 💓The Rumble Pak💓

Sometimes you gotta yank that cord a few times to get the old mower runnin’. Hey, did you know that we record all of our episodes on old N64 and Playstation Memory Cards?  This week the Daddios are here to talk about illusions, or are they? Maybe the “topic” is just an illusion, and they’ve sucked you in again to hear more poo poo pee pee talk and John Candy jokes.  Hey, you know how when you eat pscylocibin mushrooms and you commune with the universe, you feel the complexity and synchro...

DP79 - ✨Community College Magic✨

We’re firing on 4 of 5 cylinders, that’s right, we’re (mostly) back! It’s been a little while, and the Daddios have been busy boys. Speakin’ of boys, Lance is no longer one, that’s right, he’s 30! Lance went from Boy 2 Man. In other news, Andy joined the future and bought a 2006 Toyota Prius, and invested in cryptocurrency. What the hell is money anyway? Can you be buried with with your cryptocurrency like King Tutankhamen? or will your student debt spill out like a black cloud on those who ...

DP78 - When Life Gives You Osage Oranges

DP78 - When Life Gives You Osage Oranges.   Plants, who needs em?    —All of us. I mean they’re really doin’ shit. They eat the sun’s rays and blossom. They convert our exhales back into inhales, automatically, for free, year round. And what do we give them in return? A calendar full of barbaric holiday traditions where we mutilate them or steal their dignity. Halloween, we carve a face into a pumpkin, Christmas, we saw down a tree and take it away from it’s family, and hang little b...

DP77 - Jerk Chicken

Cleanliness, what the hell is that? Can we truly clean ourselves or our environment? Are we just smearing the filth around for our own selfish illusion of cleanliness? Also, what the hell happened to all of those people you went to kindergarten with? Collin has a plan for you to find out.    All this and more on this episode of DP. 

DP76 - Farts Stink & Facebook is Weird 💨

Before the hurricane season Daddio Patio did a water episode. Before the vegas shooting they discussed gun violence.   Before the avalanche of sexual assault allegations they did an speisode about shame.   What other things will Daddio Patio forecast? What's the deal with the world and social media? Why are we all obsessed with our little internet avatar caricatures?   This episode we talk about shame, from To Catch a Predator, to Cheaters, to call-out culture, DP gives their l...

DP75 - 👽 Independence Day 3 💍

What’s the deal with waiting for episodes of this podcast? I mean do they really expect you to wait 2 weeks for a shitty episode?    This week, we finally have a dream guest of ours on: Emily D! We all met up to talk about meetings. We each prepared a powerpoint to explain ourselves to one another.    Sometimes meetings are just bullshit, other times, people get down to the real, authentic truth. Speakin’ of the truth, gun violence is pretty fucked up, and so is the city we live in! ...

DP74 - Everything is Always Sometimes

Dangit, there’s so much nuance in the day to day existence that it’s hard to tell what’s really a win, and what’s a loss. The truth is, life is fuckin’ weird and confusing— is that why our little minds require the simplicity of a clear, decisive win? I mean sure your boss promoted you, but was it really worth all you had to do? Does your boss even like you? If you’re a winner, stand up and quit your job before the end of this episode.  This week, the Daddios are joined by special guest Mr....

DP73 - 🌊🌊 I'll Be There 🌊🌊

This week, the Daddios discuss the elixer or life: water.  Strangely, we decided to record this episode just before the marathon of hurricanes, so while there’s no talk of Hurricane Harvey, there’s plenty of talk about Hurricane Harbor. Water is so freakin important, we depend on it, and it's fun! But when there’s just too much of it, it can be dangerous, and tragic. That shit's no joke! Our cosmic patio energy is with those suffering from the bullshit weather 💖 (listeners, please consider...

DP72 - Monster Quest

Animals are dangerous-- fuckin' dangerous. With so many different creatures that could lead you to your demise, which is the scariest? I mean those giant squids I seen on Monster Quest could abuse you in ways you can't even imagine, but a chimp could rip your face off, twist it around it's hand, and spin it like a helicpoter.  It's obvious, dangit, that humans are the scariest, most evil creatures on the planet. Look what the hell we've done to one another. Can we ever forgive each other? ...

DP71 - Good Garlic Barnacle Son

Wait, who the hell are you people again? What are we doing? Oh, that's right, we have a podcast, we completely forgot!  This week, the Daddios were joined by Kevin D to talk about forgetting. None of them could remember a damn thing to say, because they're under 30 and senile. Speakin' of, when's the last time you saw a janitor with a toupee?  It's good to be back, join the boys this week as they return to the table to discuss what they have forgotten. 

DP70 - Lobster McGriddle

DP69 - The Red Cross Mosquito Scam

DP68 - SPORTS & AGREEMENTS

DP67 - Untrustable Uncrustables / 4Chan Cookies

DP66 - 30 Page Homework Assignment

DP65 - Back 2 School: Part 1

DP64 - The Rude Claw

DP63 - I hate it, but I love it

DP62 - Sea Doods / Sky Guys

DP61 - 2 Governors, 1 Predator

The daddios talk loosely around disaster. Volcanoes, aliens, Arnold Schwarzenegger, it's all here. 

DP60 - Daddio Patio Reunion

Some things in life are full circle, like life, itself. 60 seconds on the clock, 60 minutes in an hour, and 60 episodes in the beautiful circle that surrounds the 5 points of our podcast's pentagram.    5 daddios. 60 episodes. 0 souls.    A Daddio Patio reunion through magical circumstance. Welcome to 2017: 

DP59 - I Believe Enya

DP58 - Flamin' Hot Floss

DP57 - Vengeance is a Simple Pleasure

DP56 - Cream Lobotomy

DP55 - ZZZ / Surf Your Pain Into Hell

DP54 - Call Now! Just 3 Easy Payments!

DP53 - Everything, Nothing, & The Midwest

DP52 - Do Your Job

DP51 - EVIL EPISODE

DP50 - Exhilarama Cobwebs

DP49 - TRIUMPHANT RETURN / Careful Dance

Daddio Patio Live: Childhood (Part 1)

DP48 - Ashes to Ashes, Dirt to Dirt

DP47 - Double Your Pleasure, Double Your Fun

DP46 - Mayonnaise Martini

DP45 - H and Every Time

You wanna know the meaning of life? Listen up.

DP44 - Space Janitor

Everything is cooler in space, or while listening to Tears in Heaven.

DADDIO PATIO BIRTHDAY BONUS

Daddio Patio is officially 1 YEAR OLD! Check out this awesome montage our good friend, and fan of the show Evan Mueller made!