Church of Lazlo Podcasts

Wednesday, 08.16.23

Back to school already? Have we mentioned how much we hate school? Couldn't we have just hung out at our parents' house until we were old enough to join the military? *There's a new doc on Netflix about BALCO and steroids in sports. Whether you're for or against PEDs, you have to admit that the steroid era in baseball was a ton of fun. *The official NFL website has listed the top ten QBs going into the 2023 season. Number 1 and 2 are pretty easy to guess but Lazlo has issues with a few other...

Tuesday, 08.15.23

Who's got the best voice on tv? The from Hard Knocks on HBO is pretty great. Slimfast says the guy from Frontline on PBS is the best, because of course he would say that. *Who has the best and worst uniforms in the NFL? Which teams have mascots that actually give you a clue about which city they're in? *Did Skittles just pull a Bud Light? Should we be annoyed that skittles bags are getting political? Lazlo thinks it's a great idea and makes a good argument for it. *Doomscrolling!! Trump is o...

Monday, 08.14.23

Who were your childhood heroes? Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? Luke and Han? Hulk Hogan? *And the biggest pop culture jerk is..... *It's been a while since we've had a good celebrity meltdown. The best part is, this one involves butt stuff. *Wander Franco of the Tampa Rays has been accused of "dating" a 14-year-old. Michael Oher (football player portrayed in The Blind Side) says Sandra Bullock never actually adopted him. *Doomscrolling!! Trump says a potential witness in his upcoming indictme...

Toxic and Problematic, 08.12.23

We're answering questions from our twitch stream (link below). We discuss our biggest regrets, time machines, The Golden Girls, and more. We missed you and hope you'll join us next time. Take a second to click our twitch link down there and follow us right now.  www.twitch.tv/churchoflazlo www.lazlo.church www.reddit.com/r/churchoflazlo  

Friday, 08.11.23 (Best Of)

Thursday, 08.10.23

Slimfast is feeling guilty (shocking) and it involves his mom (shocking again). *Letting your kid get behind the wheel alone for the first time has to be top-10 most stressful moments of parenting. *How long should you grieve about the death of a pet? And I'm talking about a real pet like a dog or cat or maybe even a monkey but certainly not lizards or fish. *Doomscrolling!! Lazlo doesn't understand how Hawaii can be so susceptible to fires when it's surrounded by water. Feinstein took a tum...

Wednesday, 08.09.23

Gambling problem? What gambling problem?? I already told you, it's those fat cat bankers keeping me poor! *We've all been victims of bad haircuts, but have you ever been the victim of a devastating haircut right before school was about to start? *Lazlo and Slimfast promise not to spoil the Johnny Football doc on Netflix and then proceed to spoil the Johnny Football doc on Netflix. *Doomscrolling!! Unless you bought your ticket at a Publix in Jupiter Beach Florida, you're still not a billiona...

Tuesday, 08.08.23

Financial Advice with Lazlo and Slim. *The 5 most overrated NFL teams going into the 2023 season. *Billboard released the top 100 greatest album covers of all time (link below). We like the list, but we think they overlooked a few. *Doomscrolling! Anyone ever heard of ALS? Trump goes after Jack Smith in classic Trump style. MegaMillions has hit a record high. Russia does the old "double-tap". The cousin of the Uvalde school shooter threatened to shoot up a school. Immaculate Grid is all the ...

Monday, 08.07.23

Slimfast recommended that the guys watch Mike Judge's Extract, and they were less than impressed. So, you tell me, what makes a comedy funny? *Canada came up with a list of the NFL's most diehard fans and it only shows that Canada knows very little about the NFL and making lists. *Elon says that the fight with Zuck is on but he just needs to check with his doctors first. Speaking of Musk, who's rich from your state? Who makes money in your state? Is it true that the richest person from Slimf...

Thursday, 08.03.23

Now that we all know the story of Jake (or is it Logan) Paul, what the hell ever became of Johnny Football? Like, is he rich or is he dead? *Some travel magazine has come up with the best countries to visit for a song. Which countries on the list would you visit and why hasn't Snowcone already visited the top choice? *It turns out there's a reason you're having so much trouble finding love on that dating app. You don't know how to play ball in your league. *Doomscrolling!! Is it possible tha...

Wednesday, 08.02.23

"Matt Damon is 5'2, eyes are blue. Coochie-coochie-coochie-coo," -Rudy Giuliani *I think we're all sick of hearing about gaslighting and being accused of gaslighting someone every time there's a disagreement. Now we have to deal with "ghostllighting"? *Lazlo says we all need to watch the new Jake Paul documentary on Netflix. Or is it Logan Paul? I think it's Jake. *Doomscrolling!! More details on the Lizzo lawsuit. We're trying to understand the latest Trump indictment and it's going about ...

Tuesday, 08.01.23

I thought Lizzo was supposed to be a woke icon. What's with these allegations of her acting like the three of us at a strip club? *You know things are bad when the top three Billboard songs are all crappy country songs. This is the first time that's ever happened. *Girls are now using "the Barbie test" on first dates. Speaking of Barbie, are a few dudes allowed to sit around and give our thoughts on the movie? *Doomscrolling!! Is this zoo in China just dressing up people in bear suits and pu...

Monday, 07.31.23

We're back! Our first summer vacation of the year is over and now it's time to really button down and get serious about this podcast and the work that awaits us. *Lazlo says his family road trip was awesome and he's super jealous of the stadium in Minneapolis. Pee Wee Herman is dead at 70. *An Ohio woman was arrested at a water park after causing a scene and calling someone's child a "fat ass". Did your parents ever yell at other kids? *What would your life be like if you'd ended up with the...

Toxic and Problematic, 07.22.23

We've got an awesome guest this week. Joanna Schwartz is a professor of law at UCLA and the author of "Shielded: How the Police Became Untouchable". Just how hard is it to hold the police accountable when they violate your constitutional rights? First, you're going to have to find a lawyer, and that might not be as easy as you'd think. Second, you'll have to beat the odds by getting a court to hear your case. Finally, if you are successful and a judge does decide that you're owed a nice big ...

Thursday, 07.20.23

How did our ancestors survive without air conditioning? How do people in Phoenix survive with air conditioning? *What did celebrities buy with their first big royalty check? *Grae Drake is on the show! She's seen Barbie and Oppenheimer and says they're both great but it's pretty obvious which was her favorite. *Doomscrolling! Travis King's family speaks out about their loved one's decision to run to North Korea. The police and the public don't seem to believe Carlee Russell's story, but what...

Wednesday, 07.19.23

Lazlo had the perfect family vacation planned for next week and the kids were excited about seeing Walley World but plans change. What would be a good impromptu spot to take the family for a few days? Twin Cities it is! *People are really worked up about this Jason Aldean song. I guess he doesn't want us visiting any small towns. I'm good with that. *Charles Barkley is a national treasure. Don't forget to buycott some Bud Light on your way home. *Doomscrolling! Are the cops about to solve Tu...

Tuesday, 07.18.23

It's time to dismantle the system that requires we be on time for work! When will "time blindness" get the awareness it deserves? *These poor Gen Z kids. They'll never get to experience the perfect childhood that was only afforded to 80s and 90s kids. *Doomscrolling! One BILLION dollars! A real life Cast Away guy was rescued after being stranded at sea with his dog for three months. A 10-year-old was thrown from a carnival ride in Illinois. An American soldier apparently walked into North Ko...

Monday, 07.17.23

How can three guys in three different places all have their air conditioners break at the same time? *Did you watch Quarterback on Netflix this weekend? Man oh man, how excited were you to get a glimpse of Marcus Mariota's life behind the scenes? *Police want you to be on the lookout for a new scam that tricks people into robbing banks. Seriously. *Doomscrolling! The Long Island Serial Killer has been apprehended (and I guess we're not calling him that anymore). Messi is finally here, with u...

Rob A Bank Scam

Everyone Watching Quarterback?

Mahomes is just the best, right?

Thursday, 07.13.23

Wednesday, 07.12.23

Did you know that your perineum can get infected and kill you?? Not the kind of thing you expect to learn while watching The All-Star Game. *Jonah Hill is not having a great week. *Did you waste any money on Prime deals yet? I was hoping to get a sweet deal on a refurbished Zune but those things are hard to come by. *Doomscrolling! Welcome to Tuberville, where we call all white people "American". Bill Gates says there could potentially be a few downsides to artificial intelligence. Need an a...

Tuesday, 07.11.23

Lazlo loves to reminisce about the good old days before women's reproductive healthcare became such a polarizing issue. *Why are men so confident in their ability to judge another man's character after a brief introduction? Are men actually good judges of character or is this yet another example of guys being overly confident in their abilities? *Jonah Hill's ex released screenshots of old text conversations between her and the Oscar-nominated star. Do these texts prove that Jonah is a bad g...

Monday, 07.10.23

Slimfast saw a dead dog from his childhood this weekend, all because he refuses to hire professional lawn guys (you'll just have to listen). Remember Chiefsaholic? The guy who allegedly knocked off those banks and then went on the lam? Well, they finally caught him. *Another ring doorbell video has gone viral. This one shows a 12-year-old boy going door to door trying to make friends. Well Kid, friends are hard to come by. Besides, wouldn't you rather have a nice big GoFundMe campaign? *Doom...

Doom Scrolling Full

Doom Scrolling Pt 2

Doom Scrolling Pt 1

Kid In Texas Tries Making Friends

Chiefsaholic Arrested

Slimfast Almost Dies After Yardwork

Friday, 07.07.23

Thursday, 07.06.23

Nothing says "we're hip" like discussing the cheapest way to buy reading glasses and complaining about young people wearing AirPods. *Slimfast teaches Lazlo how to dye his beard. Did you ever go to one of those narcotic swap meets disguised as a music festival? *Finally! It's time to discuss the most misogynistic songs in Rock history. *Doomscrolling!! Happy Threads Day! Slimfast has an update on that missing teen we talked about yesterday and it it's a crazy story. *One restaurant has start...

Wednesday, 07.05.23

Hope you had a good 4th. Did you take the family to see any fireworks? Drone displays? Grass fires? *If Lazlo says it, it must be true. Shohei Ohtani is the greatest baseball player of all time. Now, how do we pool our money so that we can try to get him to play here? *Brittany Mahomes doesn't have to be your favorite person in the world but could we at least stop criticizing her every single move? *Doomscrolling!! Threads is only a day away! Over the weekend, Twitter told some users to get ...

Toxic and Problematic with Chaz Clough, 07.01.23

Chaz Clough has been training soldiers in Ukraine since the first weeks of the war. He's an American, a former member of the US Navy, and an all-around badass. Chaz explains why he chose to go to Ukraine and what it's like on the ground. Hope you enjoy the show!    www.lazlo.church www.mitra-9.com  

Friday, 06.30.23 (Best Of)

Thursday, 06.29.23

The NFL has punished more players for sports betting. Is it only a matter of time before the NFL faces a major scandal? *Speaking of the NFL, Kelce says a lot of players smoke weed. Why are we still arguing about weed in 2023? *The latest list of America's favorite fast-food restaurants is pretty surprising. *Doomscrolling!! The Supreme Court has made a controversial decision about college admissions. Madonna had a serious health scare over the weekend. More American cities are looking for a...

Wednesday, 06.28.23

You get $10,000 dollars for every day that you can go without doing "the deed". It's like The Contest except there's a lot more money involved. How long can you hold out? *Why are women saying TJ Maxx and Target cause their bowels to move? We're trying our hardest to understand but we just can't relate. *Unemployed men would rather have unemployed partners than have the woman be the sole breadwinner. Not us! Get that money, girl! *Rina Sawayama is sick and tired of Matty's microaggressions. ...

Tuesday, 06.27.23 (Best Of)

Monday, 06.26.23

Slimfast and Lazlo: Private Investigators

Can't Believe Gyro Is Almost 16

Friday, 06.23.23 (Best Of)

Thursday, 06.22.23

Wednesday, 06.21.23

How about that big meeting this morning? There's nothing better than fighting with your bosses in front of all your coworkers. *Things aren't looking so good for the Titan sub. There have been reports of noises but do we really think this thing is still intact somewhere? *We all know that Gen Z loves Tik Tok which means they don't have much of an attention span and don't like to watch long movies and shows on tv. But they still like live sports, don't they? *Doomscrolling!! Bryan Kohberger's...

The Continued Search For The Missing Titanic Sub

We All Made It To Our Morning Meeting!

Tuesday, 06.20.23

Lazlo almost won $8k on a baseball game. Would you rather win $8k or see your favorite team win it all? *Everyone is talking about this missing submarine. The submersible was carrying five people to tour the Titanic wreckage when it lost contact. Is it possible that the passengers are still alive and what is the most likely explanation for what went wrong? *If airlines established a stricter dress code for passengers, would it reduce the number of incidents we're seeing that involve unruly p...

Monday, 06.19.23

Is it more stressful being a kid in trouble or being the parent when your kid does something stupid? Lazlo will never forget the time his parents found his porn stash but it's tough to say who felt more uncomfortable in that position.  *Remember when kids smoked cigarettes? *The CDC released a report about depression in America. It turns out that where you live and how much money you have can impact your happiness. Shocking stuff. *Doomscrolling!! The 2024 presidential campaign is unfortunat...

Thursday, 06.15.23

To have kids or to not have kids? That is the question. Some take to it naturally though and we can't imagine Lazlo not being a dad. *Contrary to some misleading posts on our subreddit, (www.reddit.com/r/churchoflazlo) War Mahine is not out of prison. Slimfast is safe, for now. *A couple of days ago, we argued that being 90% more attractive would be more beneficial than being 30% more smart. Now we have evidence to back up our decisions. *Doomscrolling!! The former Marine who choked a homele...

Tuesday, 06.13.23

Why are people mad at Garth Brooks? *Did The Idol on HBO Max have the worst sex scene ever shown on TV? We need Lazlo to go home and closely analyze the scene in question. *It's our semi-monthly discussion about all of our favorite shows on TV. Did we miss anything? *Doomscrolling!! Trump was in court today and Snowcone helps us break down the indictment. Pat Sajak is retiring from Wheel of Fortune. Treat Williams died in a motorcycle accident at 71. Denver beat Miami and are finally world c...