Church of Lazlo Podcasts

Friday, 02.02.24

Thursday, 02.01.24

*We're here but we're under concussion protocol.  *When's the last time you checked on that loved one who lives alone? *Is this the moment when Chiefs fans jumped the shark? *Bob Costas says the Cowboys are no longer America's team. *If I lived in Moscow Idaho, I'd want a change of venue too.  *No more sharing your Hulu password that hasn't been active in two years. *Kelce says he and Taylor are having a blast. *The Pink Orchid ordeal. *BREAKING: Toxicology results reveal cocaine, ot...

Wednesday, 01.31.24

*Lazlo needs TV recommendations. He's so bored, he's betting on college basketball. *Travis Kelce Says Justin Tucker Was 'Being a Dick' *Legal but perhaps unethical ways to make money. Yea or Nay? *Biden says he's decided how to respond to the drone strike that killed 3 American soldiers but it's a secret. *Social Media bosses testified before congress today and Zuck got the worst of it.  *Florida is seriously considering a law that would ban kids from using social media.  *ZEN nicotin...

Tuesday, 01.30.24

Monday, 01.29.24

*How bout those Chieeeeeefs?? This is the first time Lazlo and Slim have spoken since the third quarter of the Lions game. Slim says he didn't know what to say.  *Experts say Travis Kelce will actually lose money by being in the Super Bowl this year.  *Taylor Swift is going back on tour. Will she have time to make it to the game? *The mysterious case of the decapitated Memphis DJ. We still need answers.  *American soldiers were killed by a drone strike on a US military base in Jordan. *...

Off Air: There's Something About Taylor

Toxic and Problematic, 01.27.24

WARNING: This episode is not suitable for children! It's probably not suitable for many adults!  We discuss the allegations against the billionaire face of the WWE, Vince McMahon. We've seen plenty of allegations of men behaving poorly in the last few years, but these are not your typical allegations. Again, this episode is not appropriate for children.  Thanks for listening. Please visit our sponsors www.mitra-9.com and remember to use the promo code PROBLEMATIC. 

Friday, 01.26.24

Thursday, 01.25.24

*Today's show started off routinely enough but don't let that fool you. Today, we tried something different and different a Church of Lazlo Presents. May we present to you, The Bryan Kohberger Special! Outside of people being paid to work the case, we genuinely believe that no one in the country knows more about this murder mystery than our man Snowcone. What started as a plan to discuss the case for 15-20 mins, turned into a entire podcast. Slimfast will play your host, Snowcone will play t...

Off Air: What The Hell Is Fox Nation?

The guys try and figure out what Fox Nation is and listen to the trailer for the new Rob Schneider special that looks as funny as you would think a Rob Schneider special would be

Off Air: High School Dances

A short conversation the guys had off air about high school dances

Wednesday, 01.24.24

*Lazlo told Slimfast about a true crime show! Death by Fame. The guys are confused about the "fame" theme.  *We're just now finding out that Lazlo recently went to Red Lobster. Will he complain about it, did he buy a fruity drink, and why was he there? *Is everyone caught up on True Detective? Just like the push-up challenge, Slimfast is already trying to make his exit. *A video on Tik Tok is making the rounds. It claims to have captured an angry reaction from a woman who was asked to spl...

Tuesday, 01.23.24

*Lazlo has a big surprise for Slimfast.... *Lazlo watched the ESPN+ documentary about CHIEFSAHOLIC so that we don't have to. *Speculation, rumors, and actual news updates about the three friends who were found dead outside a Kansas City house earlier this month. *New Hampshire primary is happening today. Can Nikki stop, or slow down Trump? *Houthi and the Rebels announce stadium tour. *Does Amy Coney Barrett have a thing for Joe Biden? *The Oscar nominees have been announced. Oh! And L...

Monday, 01.22.24

*How Bout Those CHIEEEEEEEEFS??!! *The Church of Lazlo Bowl is one week closer to becoming a reality. Will friendships survive the stress? *Meatball Ron is Out! Nikki Haley is hanging in! Nancy Pelosi is....not Nikki Haley. *How one man overcame insurmountable odds by sucking on his own sweatpants.  *Two fans are suing Madonna for keeping them up late on a school night. *Styx vs Little River Band. *Who was the most famous local tv anchor of your childhood? *Thanks for listening to the...

Friday, 01.19.24

Thursday, 01.18.24

*Has Slimfast been pronouncing Kelce's name correctly this whole time?  *Slim and Snowcone are optimistic that Travis and Taylor might buy a forever home together in KC. Lazlo isn't as optimistic.  *Is assaulting someone over the age of 60 a specific crime? If so, we don't need any more proof that the retirement age is too high in this country. *Lazlo and Slimfast are "corporate bootlickers" because they don't agree that working 9 to 5 in an office is the same as children working 8a to 12...

Wednesday, 01.17.24

*Everyone watched the new True Detective 4! That means we're watching a show together again! It's been a while, but I enjoy our little weekly recaps and discussions. It probably won't be the greatest show of the decade, but hopefully we won't look back on this the way we do with Yellowjackets. "Am I just looking to spend the night or am I trying to date this woman?" -Lazlo                    A lot of red flags can be overlooked depending on the answer to that question. *Costco is cracking ...

Tuesday, 01.16.24

*Thanks to our awesome company and their respect for MLK, we're just getting back from a 3-day weekend. What a weekend it was. The Detroit Lions won a playoff game at home against their beloved former quarterback! The Chiefs shut down Miami in the coldest game in Arrowhead history! The Eagles looked bad enough to lose to the Panthers or Cardinals *Have you seen this corporate video from WebMD's parent company? They want people to come back to the office and people act like they're being ask...

Friday, 01.12.24

Thursday, 01.11.24

Nick Wright is on the show today! *Bill Belichick is out at New England! NFL teams looking for a head coach have a nice pool of applicants to consider. *What about our friend Dan Lanning? Looks like Lazlo won't have to worry about wearing Alabama gear to support his friend.  *We are not supposed to use the word "clean" when referring to an STD test. *Ron DeSantis and Nikki Haley faced off last night and Lazlo is not impressed with Meatball Ron's performance.  *Nick Wright! Get your spor...

Wednesday, 01.10.24

*Lazlo and Slimfast have been fighting over their handyman's friendship for ten years. Now, the question of who Kenny's favorite is has finally been answered.  *If you die today, would you leave your family anything other debt?  *How much does college actually cost and are parents obligated to foot the bill? *The Secretary of Defense has prostate cancer, and he's not great at calling in sick. *Trump will soon find out whether or not his "the president is immune to everything" defense wil...

Tuesday, 01.09.24

*GO BLUE! Michigan won last night and that means Lazlo is a little tired today. But Slim slid something across the counter to help Lazlo feel his best. *Why do so many companies still drug test? Slim and Snowcone have both cheated drug tests in the past. Speaking of cheating a drug test, what is fake pee? Like, is it real pee that's been freeze dried? If it's actually fake, you'd think the lab could pick up on it.  *The Vegas man who attacked the judge last week was back in front of the sa...

Toxic and Problematic, 01.08.24

Yo! We're just jaw jacking this week. Lazlo makes predictions about a football game that already happened. Slimfast reads predictions from 100 years ago about what life would be like in 2024. Thanks for hanging out with us. If there's something you'd like to hear on next week's podcast, reach out and let us know. You can find us on Insta, X, Facebook, and Reddit. @churchoflazlo and r/churchoflazlo  We also stream on twitch and we'd LOVE to see you in the chat next time. www.twitch.tv/churcho...

Monday, 01.08.24

*As a Michigander, this is Lazlo's moment and he's going to enjoy it. Let's go Blue!  *Slimfast has some bad news, but he refuses to divulge until Lazlo promises to keep his cool.  *The Iowa Caucuses are only one week away! Are you excited?? *Who is Jo Koy? What's a Golden Globe? What happened to Ricky Gervais?  *A dog ate a couple's $4,000 in cash and the husband was put on dookie duty. *Did Epstein save videos of high-profile celebrities engaging in illegal acts with minors? If those ...

Friday, 01.05.24

Retirement Fund: https://rb.gy/57jcm9 He's got one of the most impressive resumes in his business. He created more wealth and fame for his organization than his bosses could have ever dreamed. Come Monday, he might be looking for a job. *Does your company do a good job of making you feel special? A man who worked at Burger King for 27 years went viral last year when he posted a video showing the gift he got from corporate for his perfect attendance for all those years. Yada yada yada, GoFun...

Thursday, 01.04.24

Chiefs fans, who would like to see the Chiefs play in the postseason? We still have quite a few scenarios and potential matchups. *Doc! I wanted you to make it bigger, not smaller!" *It's "Janu-hairy" and "Dry January" apparently. I thought the dry month was "Sober October" but whatever. Anyway, someone decided to put together a list of the best rock songs about sobriety. Got any guesses? *The former president of Harvard is speaking out about her resignation. We've been waiting for 24 hours ...

Wednesday, 01.03.24

Let's check in on Lazlo and Slim's New Year Resolution (they claim they're doing 100 push-ups a day). Wouldn't it be more believable if they said they were doing 25? *An anonymous NFL Player's Poll has Arrowhead as the best stadium to play in and Mahomes as the best player in the game. *Would having a writing credit on one Taylor Swift song be enough to make you rich, or at least set you up comfortably for life? *Kimmel vs Rodgers. I don't think they're joking around but we need someone to e...

Tuesday, 01.02.24

Yo!!! Good to see you! The holidays are over and our vacation wasn't long enough but it honestly feels good to be back. Lazlo hosted his family over the break, National Lampoon style. Michigan beat Alabama! Will Lazlo splurge and drive to Texas for the game? *Gypsy Rose is out of prison and it's the only thing Americans want to talk about. Was she really kicked out of Missouri? *Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce celebrated the new year in Kansas City. Lazlo doesn't think Kelce seems like a Trade...

Friday, 12.22.23

Thursday, 12.21.23

Wednesday, 12.20.23

Tuesday, 12.19.23

Monday, 12.18.23

We're here! In past years, we probably would have started our Christmas break already but we don't feel like taking all that time off this year. JK, we forgot to coordinate with our boss and ask for time off. Let's see if Chat GTP can help get us out of this jam. *Lazlo, The Garage-Sale Connoisseur! *Matthew Perry died from acute ketamine intoxication. This "California Sober" thing seems to leave a lot of wiggle room. *If you're flying for the holidays, keep your fingers crossed that things ...

Friday, 12.15.23

Thursday, 12.14.23

Snowcone's son had his Christmas pageant last night, so Snowcone is pretty hungover today.  *Lazlo and Slimfast (and their parents) dealt with a lot of prank phone calls from school bullies back in the day. *Of all the lists, this is the one! PornHub's 2023 Year In Results are here! *Israel refuses to pause the fighting in Gaza. Putin refuses to stop killing Ukrainians until he gets what he wants. Tesla has recalled almost every one of their vehicles on the road. After a years-long study, we...

Tuesday, 12.12.234

Lazlo's mom is in town and they've been watching some wild stuff together on network television. *This week's NFL Power Rankings are in and the Chiefs are still in the top ten. *Google's search trends for 2023 are in. Sure, we'd rather be sharing PornHub's 2023 trends but those don't come out until later this week. *Will Trump be immune from prosecution during his presidency? Ukraine would like us to not forget about them. Jennifer Anniston says she spoke to Matthew Perry hours before his de...

Monday, 12.11.23

Tough weekend for Chiefs fans but we'll survive. Who was Mahomes yelling at on the sidelines at the end of the game? Different people say different things but Snowcone's done his research. *Slimfast was in Dad Mode this weekend. He said they had a great time, but that being the fun adult is expensive. *Shohei Ohtani is finally going to make more money than Lazlo. *A man in New York won $10 million on a scratch-off ticket, after doing the same thing last year. A $44 million lottery ticket in ...

Thursday, 12.07.23

Why do we lose stuff all the time? Literally, every single day of my life has been cut short as I waste time looking for lost remote controls. *The finale of the that Squid Game reality show was last night. Lazlo and Spencer watched it which means we're actually talking about non-sports shows in a timely manner. *Another day in December, another end-of-year list! IMDb released the top movies, shows, and stars of 2023. *Doomscrolling! The shooter at UNLV didn't fit the typical profile. The re...

Wednesday, 12.06.23

I love December! This is the time of year when we start getting all the year-end lists! The most searched things on Wikipedia in 2023. I don't remember ever getting a Wikipedia list before! *The average cost of a concert ticket in 2023 was about $250. There's not a person walking this earth that I'd pay $250 to see from 100 yards away. *NFL owners from worst to best. Any guesses who's at the top and the bottom? *Doomscrolling! Two shooting sprees are currently making headlines. Norman Lear d...

Tuesday, 12.05.23

Lazlo shares his thoughts on the new Max series Love Has Won. Slimfast says he couldn't see himself joining this particular cult, but Lazlo thinks he would have been all in back in his younger days. *Aaron Rodgers is upset with the Jets and defends Zach Wilson. It looks like Aaron will most likely not play this year. *Do people still exchange numbers or do they just ask for social media info? Fellas, no matter how pretty she is, don't hand your phone over to girls at the bar. *Doomscrolling!...

Monday, 12.04.23

Have you ever purchased a tube of "fexting" at a truck-stop gas station? Lazlo thinks that truck-stops are safe spaces for truckers and should not be patronized by dads driving a mid-sized Lincoln crossover. *Lazlo watches mor college football than you and he can prove it. Slimfast is still trying to understand how the bowl games are decided. *Slimfast thinks Chiefs fans need to chill. Lazlo would like to remind you that Andy Reid is well aware of the team's shortcomings and doesn't need you...

Friday, 12.01.23

Thursday, 11.30.23

Wednesday, 11.29.23

Let's take a moment to clarify some things about yesterday's discussion regarding the Chiefs fan in a headdress. *Is this the best team Michigan football has ever put on the field? All of Lazlo's teams are having great seasons. *Power Rankings for Week 13. Plus, the best and worst head coaches in the league. *Doomscrolling!! Arizona Cardinals fans picked up a hitchhiking linebacker and took him to the game. Another day, another mysterious respiratory outbreak in China. The Koch Brothers have...

Tuesday, 11.28.23

Lazlo isn't angry at Slim for brining donuts. He's angry at Slim for talking about donuts. *People love to talk about "last meals" but who the hell would have an appetite when they know their headed to the gas chamber? *Doomscrolling!! A young Chiefs fan at the game in Vegas was photographed wearing face paint and now the internet is choosing sides. A 12-year-old lead police on a chase in a massive piece of construction equipment for over an hour. Meta has been accused of collecting informat...

Monday, 11.27.23

Lazlo is back from the Michigan game! He's a proud Michigander and it's been quite a month for his team. Mizzou and KU won too! Now's a great time to start watching college football. *Americans spent a record setting $8 billion on Black Friday. Today's Cyber Monday. Did you get anything good? *The Chiefs won! Are they starting to figure out their receiver problems? *Doomscrolling!! A 15-year-old saved a toddler with CPR skills she'd learned at school. Again, we all need to learn how to do CP...

Friday, 11.17.23

Thursday, 11.16.23

*Lazlo's son drove away from the house alone today for the first time.  Does the pride outweigh the fear?   *Snowcone and the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad time trying to find a doctor.    *Most sequels are let downs but some of them are so bad, they ruin the entire franchise. Joe Dirt 2: Beautiful Loser, now that was a sequel!   *Doomscrolling!! China's holding these pandas over our heads like we give a damn! Plus, kids killing kids, kids killing teachers, and boats killing ol...

Wednesday, 11.15.23

*Snowcone's stuffed animal goes into hiding.  *What's with this rumor that Will Smith got murdered? *NFL Power Rankings Week 11. Look at Lazlo's Lions! *Doomscrolling!! Who needs pay-per-view when you've got CNBC? Plus, manslaughter on the ice, red cup revolt, and republicans hate it when people vote for stuff they don't like. *Until we can come up with a better system, can we just get rid of the DMV for now? *Greatest Thanksgiving movies of all time. Eli Roth would like a word. *Thank...

Tuesday, 11.14.23

*Lazlo tried to tell you but you wouldn't listen. Josh Allen ain't got it. What is "it"? Can you feel it, see it, hear it today? If you can't then it doesn't matter anyway!  *Great Albums from Bad Bands. We'd argue that some of these albums aren't great and some of these bands aren't bad, but we get what they're going for.  *Doomscrolling!! Biden's granddaughter, Pelosi's husband, Trump's minions, a racist's shirt, and a gospel singer's entitlement.  *Dating rules are for people under 50....