Church of Lazlo Podcasts

Monday, 11.13.23

Harbaugh was wrong about chickens. Turns out they're not a nervous bird and they actually make great companions. *The Tesla CyberTruck is finally here but you have to promise not to sell it for at least a year. *What's the strangest house rule you ever encountered growing up? I was once told that my parents would have to pay the family back if I ever ate any of their Handi-Snacks. I grabbed a Handi-Snack in the middle of the night, went home in the morning, and never talked to that kid again...

Thursday, 10.09.23

Americans spend a lot of time watching shows on streaming services. Turns out, you could probably have another full-time job, if you worked instead of binge watching The Office again. *There are a lot of jobs that sound like fun, but are they? Is it possible that there's no such thing as a dream job? *Doomscrolling!! The republican debate was last night, and it was more fun than the last ten WrestleMania's combined. Is WrestleMania still a thing? (I'm not a wrestling guy) SAG-AFTRA struck a ...

Wednesday, 11.08.23

Lazlo watched Get Gotti on Netflix which means we can finally discuss! Would you rather be one of the cops sneaking into Gotti's club to bug the phones, or a member of the Gambino crime family? I don't think I'm cut out for either. *Whoa! Total coincidence that we start talking about Gotti and then see news about 16 Gambino family associates being arrested in New York. *The Sexiest Man of the Year has been crowned. Did you know there's only been one Sexiest Woman crowned by People? Any guess...

Tuesday, 11.07.23

If you were part of our live discussion on reddit last night, we apologize. Slimfast is banned from making any future TV recommendations. *Don't forget to vote for Lazlo today! He's been studying up and he's ready to be the best trustee JCCC has ever seen! *Records are made to be broken, but some might be harder than others. Will anyone ever beat these NFL records? *Funerals, family gatherings, political rallies, and other places you shouldn't take someone on a first date. *Doomscrolling!! S...

Monday, 11.06.23

Lazlo is a champion! He coached his last game this weekend and couldn't have ended on a better note. Congrats to Lazlo, his son, and the entire team! Oh, the Chiefs also beat the Dolphins in Germany this weekend and Mizzou put up a good fight against Georgia. *Slimfast and his dad went to Promise Keepers one time when he was a kid. If you're not familiar with Promise Keepers, allow us to give you a quick rundown. *Mike Johnson is the new republican speaker of the house and he's in the news t...

Toxic and Problematic, 11.04.23

Yes, the guy in the back with his hand up. Did you have a question? No? Well, try to think of something because that's what we're doing this week.  That's right, we're going to the subreddit this week and answering as many of your questions as possible. We hope you enjoy these trips down memory lane and listening to Lazlo and Slim talk trash on each other. We'd love to see you on twitch next time www.twitch.tv/churchoflazlo and if you've got questions or thoughts, hit us up on our subreddit...

Friday, 11.03.23

Thursday, 11.02.23

Are we getting a Six Flags in KC? *Why the f**k am I being asked to tip the robot? *Tik Tok stole our idea!  *Does this milkshake taste like piss?  We missed you on twitch today. www.twitch.tv/churchoflazlo We don't really take calls anymore and we forgot the password to login to our text line, so twitch is now the best and only way to reach us when we're live.  Thanks for listening to the podcast. Please leave a review and tell a friend. Have a great day and we'll see you tomorrow. -E...

Wednesday 11.01.23

Tuesday, 10.31.23

Happy Halloween!

Monday, 10.30.23

After a cold and rainy weekend, the sun is finally out here. After that Chiefs loss, we need all the sunshine we can get. *Tomorrow's Halloween! Are your kids going out? Perhaps they're at an age where they're going to house parties. Man, I miss those days. *Have you ever had an affair with a coworker? Some professions are more likely to lead to infidelity than others. *Doomscrolling!! Trump's gagging again. The war is Israel is going underground. The UAW appears to have stuck deals with all...

Toxic and Problematic-Interview With an Addict, 10.28.23

On this week's show, we interview someone who's been affected by drugs since childhood and seen addiction from all sides. "DBJ" gives us a behind the scenes look at the drug game and his thoughts on stories behind the fentanyl deaths we see in the headlines. He describes a cycle of addiction and hopefully this interview will give you pause next time you consider partying with friends. We also hope this conversation will convince some people that it's time to buy Naloxone and keep it handy. L...

Friday, 10.27.23

Thursday, 10.26.23

The World Series starts tomorrow. Do you care? If not, maybe you didn't grow up in a baseball town. *Well, I said we could eat anywhere you wanted but that was before I knew you wanted Golden Corral. *Doomscrolling!! The mass shooter and murderer in Main is still on the loose. The man suspected of shooting and killing a Maryland judge last week was found dead in the woods today. Ford and the UAW have come to a tentative agreement. OJ gets turned on by boulder-bumping. The parents of the US m...

Wednesday, 10.25.23

Tuesday, 10.24.23

It's true, 80s bullies just hit different. Lazlo has a pretty solid theory as to why. *You can say gender roles are outdated and need to be put to rest, but who's supposed to check on those scary noises in the middle of the night? *Why is your single friend single? I'm not saying you've told them the reason, but you've thought about it and discussed it behind their back. *Doomscrolling!! Travis and Taylor kissed on Instagram, and nothing has been the same since. An off-duty pilot tried to cu...

Monday, 10.23.23

Lazlo's team and his boy are in trouble again. But what's so bad about stealing signs from the sidelines anyway? *Chiefs keep winning but Detroit had a bad weekend. Is it late enough in the season for us to make accurate predictions about the postseason? *Snowcone has a helluva story for us today! Why were drivers pulling over to film Snowcone this weekend? You don't want to miss this one. *Doomscrolling!! Anything we say about Israel is going to piss a bunch of people off but we just can't ...

Tuesday, 10.17.23

Yo! It's been awhile since we've discussed documentaries and shows that we've watched but Lazlo will be watching nothing but sports for the next couple of months. I guess we can take the tv discussions to our subreddit www.reddit.com/r/churchoflazlo *Slimfast has found a cause he can believe in! He wants to buy (another) stripper (another) car! He sees this as our chance to give back to the community (she's in a different community) and help out a young mother in need. *What are the worst co...

Monday, 10.16.23

Have we had enough time to come to a consensus about chiropractors? I say we all get adjustments and report back. *The best and worst NFL stadiums in the NFL. What grade does your team's stadium get? *Why is Slimfast suddenly obsessed with Tavis? He's thinking about them in bed at night. *Excluding athletes, who's the biggest celebrity residing in your hometown? *Doomscrolling!! Suzanne Summers passed away. Squash is finally coming to the Olympics! Best Buy says this is your last chance to b...

Thursday, 10.12.23

Wednesday, 10.11.23

Slimfast got an earful about Israel at a doctor's appointment this morning. Everyone agrees that chiropractors are real doctors and go to school long enough to earn our endless trust. Right? *Baseball players who bat .300 are killing it. What other professions consider you a star with a 30% success rate? *Doomscrolling! Biden says America will fledge their full support to Israel. American Olympic icon Mary Lou Retton is in the hospital and the family is crowd funding her medical bills. U-S-A...

Tuesday, 10.10.23

It's been 0 days since our last workplace discussion about chocolate diaper parties. *Remember when people used to argue that Brady was only awesome because he played for Belichick? *I'm totally OCD about my spirit animals not being gay. *Doomscrolling! That speaker of the house job is still open. America is sending warships to Israel. Robert Kennedy Jr is running as an independent. Tik Tok cares about your child's mental health. *A woman has been stalked by an airplane for four years. *Than...

Monday, 10.09.23

The world is a scary place and it got even scarier this weekend. We know we're supposed to be here to distract you, but it was hard to discuss much else today. We appreciate everyone who joined the discussion on twitch, and we hope that you'll do the same next time (link below). Have a great day and we'll see you tomorrow.  www.lazlo.church   www.twitch.tv/churchoflazlo   www.reddit.com/r/churchoflazlo 

Friday, 10.06.23

This job has allowed us to experience some pretty cool things over the years. When did you get to experience the feeling of being a VIP? *Lazlo is bound and determined to piss Slim off about his late friend, Ann B Davis who played Alice on The Brady Bunch. *Are there any expensive gadgets that you've been pining over lately? Perhaps you want that new VR headset from Apple? How about a $3,500 countertop steak cooker? *Doomscrolling!! Biden's building the wall! Taylor Swift might make Lazlo a ...

Thursday, 10.05.23

Move over. There's a new trustee in town. *Celebrities who escaped being canceled. How'd they do it? *Is anyone still trying to find Baby Lisa? *Doomscrolling!! Commander Biden has been kicked out of the house. Remember COVID cards? Me neither. A social justice advocate was murdered on the street and the video is everywhere. Powerball is third highest. Uber wants to return your crappy Christmas gifts. *People are losing their minds about the news that Hulu is raising their prices. Lazlo hate...

Tuesday, 10.03.23

It's not every day we get a celebrity calling us! The way it normal works is, we reach out to them and then we wait for a response that almost never comes. Eric Andre is on the show! *Doomscrolling!! We recap Trump's first day in court. A man is accused of kidnapping a 9-year-old in New York and sending her family a ransom letter. Hunter Biden is back in court for gun charges. A Delaware State Trooper is in serious trouble for beating up a teenager. Teenagers in Spain used AI to create fake ...

Monday, 10.02.23

Lazlo didn't have time to watch any football this weekend, but he still has some thoughts about The Chiefs and what's going on with Joe Burrow. *If you don't follow baseball, there's a chance you missed the story about Trevor Bauer and the accusations made against him. Don't worry, this is more of a canceled-celebrity story than it is a sports story. *Doomscrolling!! Trump is in court. The UAW has expanded their strikes. Powerball has surpassed a billion. One of those To Catch a Predator wan...

Toxic and Problematic with AWOLNATION, 09.30.23

Aaron Bruno from AWOLNATION is on this week's episode of T&P! Over the last ten years, we've fallen in love with Aaron's music and been lucky enough to get to know what a great guy he is. Today, we discuss music, Star Wars, The Raiders, and everything else worth discussing. We hope you enjoy this episode. Check out AWOLNATION's new song! AWOLNATION - Candy Pop - YouTube   Remember to visit www.mitra-9.com and use the promo code PROBLEMATIC to stock up on all your kratom needs.      ww...

Thursday, 09.28.23

Wednesday, 09.27.23

Are you old enough to remember photo studios at JC Penny and Sears? Are you from one of those families that put on matching white shirts to take a family photo? *Rolling Stone-The 50 Worst Decisions in Movie History. *Doomscrolling!! You already know the biggest story in the country. Joe Biden is the first sitting president to march with UAW strikers. Joe Biden's dog is the first to bite 11 secret service officers. A fire at a wedding in Iraq killed 100 people and injured 150 more. Travis Ki...

Tuesday, 09.26.23

Monday, 09.25.23

Yo! How was your weekend? Slim went to a wedding, Lazlo watched a lot of football, and Snowcone slept at the station. None of that matters. There's only one thing people want to talk about and that's Travis Kelce and Taylor Swift. *Talk about a Lazlo Bump! Our friend Dan Lanning had an amazing weekend! Not only did he win but he gave an awesome speech to his players before the game. *Slimfast is confident that Lazlo cried last night. There's a new documentary on Netflix called The Saint of S...

Thursday, 09.21.23

Lalzo's oldest is the school play and Lazlo wants to know if it's okay for him to go to all four nights. *An aspiring pro poker player needed money for a buy-in so he decided to fake a cancer diagnosis. *Doomscrolling!! The UAW strike continues, and the layoffs have begun. The writers are hopeful that their strike will be over soon. A man walked out of jail in Indianapolis due to a clerical error. Several popular authors have joined forces to sue ChatGTP. Police are still searching for the h...

Wednesday, 09.20.23

Aliens are real, they have eggs in their belly, and Slimfast tried to get Lazlo to sleep with one. *An Australian man tried to sue a hospital for allowing him to witness his wife's c-section. He says it caused permanent trauma and that the hospital should have known better. *Will the writer's strike ever end? Four toddlers overdosed on fentanyl at a New York daycare and the story keeps getting crazier. Cocaine is on track to be Columbia's largest export and Slim thinks they should own it. *T...

Tuesday, 09.19.23

IMG Academy football just beat a team worse than Bishop Sycamore. If you don't know what IMG Academy is, don't worry, we're not all exactly sure either. *The last thing we want to do is upset a longtime listener. That's why we're going to start making an effort to highlight more stories about white people doing nice things for the black community. *Doomscrolling!! There was a real-life bear at Magic Kingdom. The UAW strike continues, and it might just be getting started. A Patriots fan died ...

Monday, 09.18.23

There's so much to discuss. Russell  Brand, Drew Barrymore, Lauren Boebert, and more! It's also Monday so we'll need Lazlo to give us an NFL update. *Let's start with Lauren Boebert. She went to see Beetlejuice the play and appeared to be having a great time in a video released by the theater. Vaping, laughing, singing, and a lot of groping. *Doomscrolling!! Drew Barrymore has been taking heat for trying to do her show during the strike. She's now reversed course, as have several other talk ...

Thursday, 09.14.23

Aliens are real. Stop being hardheaded and accept it. Mexico has proof in the form of two small alien bodies and you're welcome to study the little critters yourself. *Slow Dumping is the hot new trend in toxic behavior, but Lazlo and Slim have been doing it for years. Man, I'm constantly struck by their bravery.  *Would rather be told on a first date that someone is a MAGA republican or a communist? *Doomscrolling! Aaron Rodgers says he's heartbroken. Mitt Romney is retiring. Hunter Biden h...

Wednesday, 09.13.23

With Aaron Rodgers being done for the season, The Jets are looking for help from legendary Chief....Chad Henne! *The most boring movies of all time. Once again, Lazlo and Slimfast end up defending a movie that always shows up on these bad-movie lists. *It's only mid-September but Slimfast can't wait for scary-movie season. *Doomscrolling! The escaped Pennsylvania convict has been captured. It's been a while since Bryan Kohberger was in the news. Kevin McCarthy is ready to impeach Biden, I gu...

Tuesday, 09.12.23

All those discussions and predictions about Aaron Rodgers this year and he ends up sustaining a season-ending injury in the first minute of the first game. Slimfast has dreams about Tom Brady. *Oliver Anthony has apologized for the high-ticket prices at his show and has promised to pay fans back. This guy needs to start making better choices. *Apple unveils the new iPhone 15 today but very few people care anymore. *Lazlo's got a quick update on that story about the coach at Michigan State. *...

Monday, 09.11.23

Yo! How was your weekend? Did you talk to your mom? Did you watch football all weekend? If you'd listened to Lazlo's picks that he gave on twitch Friday, you would have won a lot of money. *This is sort of a sports story but not really. Yes, it involves the head coach of the Michigan State football team but it's about so much more. This has got to be the craziest and dumbest thing we've ever heard, and we can't stop discussing it. *Doomscrollling!! Ashton and Mila have apologized for writing...

Friday, 09.08.23

Thursday, 09.07.23

Wednesday, 09.06.23

The Best and Worst Cities for retirees. If you're looking for sun and beaches, you know where to go. But if you're not a big fan of life and just want to get it over with already, consider Cincinnati. *I thought I hated Zooey Deschanel before it was cool but today I learned that everybody has always hated her. *Gary Busey was involved in an alleged hit and run which isn't surprising or newsworthy until you hear the audio of the victim confronting him. *Doomscrolling!! Joe Jonas and Sophie Tu...

Tuesday, 09.05.23

The lead singer of Smash Mouth passed away at 56 of acute liver failure. It's like we're looking into a crystal ball. *It might be time to update your thoughts on what qualifies as "dad rock". *No sugar coating, what's the advice you really wish someone had given you when you were a teen? *Doomscrolling!! Jimmy Buffett passed away at 76 from spending too much time watching the sun bake. What is Burning Man and why aren't we allowed to make fun of the people who got stuck there? Diarrhea Delt...

Thursday, 08.31.23 (Slimfast and Snowcone Show)

Wednesday, 08.30.23 (Slimfast and Snowcone Show)

Tuesday, 08.29.23

Football is right around the corner, and we've spent plenty of time speculating about who will be good. Why not spend a little time talking about teams that will probably suck? *The governor of Nevada says it's time to bring Rock & Roll back to the Super Bowl. He wants AC/DC. *What are things you hated as a kid, but you love as an adult? *Doomscrolling!! More confusing Trump news. A college student was killed when he accidentally tried entering the wrong house. The Jacksonville shooter was p...

Monday, 08.28.23

It's good to get along with your neighbors but you don't want your neighbors to feel too comfortable chatting with you. It's a fine line. *A young couple tried having a baby for years but didn't have any luck. So, they went to get checked out and their doctor was shocked when she discovered the reason they'd been failing to conceive. *Some top guy in Spanish soccer is being asked to resign after he kissed a female player in celebration. Maybe he should get a job in Italy. Italian uproar over...

Friday, 08.25.23

Thursday, 08.24.23

It's 2023 and it's still hard to find an affordable house with an indoor pool. Why is that? *Julia is even more famous today! She has a Tik Tok video with almost a million views and those numbers keep rising. Now it's up to Snowcone to come up with something that will be even more viral. *A 3rd grade teacher in Oklahoma was escorted from the building on the first day of school because she was drunk. Does she deserve a second chance? *Doomscrolling!!! Putin breaks his silence about that myste...