Church of Lazlo Podcasts

Wednesday, 09.20.23

Aliens are real, they have eggs in their belly, and Slimfast tried to get Lazlo to sleep with one. *An Australian man tried to sue a hospital for allowing him to witness his wife's c-section. He says it caused permanent trauma and that the hospital should have known better. *Will the writer's strike ever end? Four toddlers overdosed on fentanyl at a New York daycare and the story keeps getting crazier. Cocaine is on track to be Columbia's largest export and Slim thinks they should own it. *T...

Tuesday, 09.19.23

IMG Academy football just beat a team worse than Bishop Sycamore. If you don't know what IMG Academy is, don't worry, we're not all exactly sure either. *The last thing we want to do is upset a longtime listener. That's why we're going to start making an effort to highlight more stories about white people doing nice things for the black community. *Doomscrolling!! There was a real-life bear at Magic Kingdom. The UAW strike continues, and it might just be getting started. A Patriots fan died ...

Monday, 09.18.23

There's so much to discuss. Russell  Brand, Drew Barrymore, Lauren Boebert, and more! It's also Monday so we'll need Lazlo to give us an NFL update. *Let's start with Lauren Boebert. She went to see Beetlejuice the play and appeared to be having a great time in a video released by the theater. Vaping, laughing, singing, and a lot of groping. *Doomscrolling!! Drew Barrymore has been taking heat for trying to do her show during the strike. She's now reversed course, as have several other talk ...

Thursday, 09.14.23

Aliens are real. Stop being hardheaded and accept it. Mexico has proof in the form of two small alien bodies and you're welcome to study the little critters yourself. *Slow Dumping is the hot new trend in toxic behavior, but Lazlo and Slim have been doing it for years. Man, I'm constantly struck by their bravery.  *Would rather be told on a first date that someone is a MAGA republican or a communist? *Doomscrolling! Aaron Rodgers says he's heartbroken. Mitt Romney is retiring. Hunter Biden h...

Wednesday, 09.13.23

With Aaron Rodgers being done for the season, The Jets are looking for help from legendary Chief....Chad Henne! *The most boring movies of all time. Once again, Lazlo and Slimfast end up defending a movie that always shows up on these bad-movie lists. *It's only mid-September but Slimfast can't wait for scary-movie season. *Doomscrolling! The escaped Pennsylvania convict has been captured. It's been a while since Bryan Kohberger was in the news. Kevin McCarthy is ready to impeach Biden, I gu...

Tuesday, 09.12.23

All those discussions and predictions about Aaron Rodgers this year and he ends up sustaining a season-ending injury in the first minute of the first game. Slimfast has dreams about Tom Brady. *Oliver Anthony has apologized for the high-ticket prices at his show and has promised to pay fans back. This guy needs to start making better choices. *Apple unveils the new iPhone 15 today but very few people care anymore. *Lazlo's got a quick update on that story about the coach at Michigan State. *...

Monday, 09.11.23

Yo! How was your weekend? Did you talk to your mom? Did you watch football all weekend? If you'd listened to Lazlo's picks that he gave on twitch Friday, you would have won a lot of money. *This is sort of a sports story but not really. Yes, it involves the head coach of the Michigan State football team but it's about so much more. This has got to be the craziest and dumbest thing we've ever heard, and we can't stop discussing it. *Doomscrollling!! Ashton and Mila have apologized for writing...

Friday, 09.08.23

Thursday, 09.07.23

Wednesday, 09.06.23

The Best and Worst Cities for retirees. If you're looking for sun and beaches, you know where to go. But if you're not a big fan of life and just want to get it over with already, consider Cincinnati. *I thought I hated Zooey Deschanel before it was cool but today I learned that everybody has always hated her. *Gary Busey was involved in an alleged hit and run which isn't surprising or newsworthy until you hear the audio of the victim confronting him. *Doomscrolling!! Joe Jonas and Sophie Tu...

Tuesday, 09.05.23

The lead singer of Smash Mouth passed away at 56 of acute liver failure. It's like we're looking into a crystal ball. *It might be time to update your thoughts on what qualifies as "dad rock". *No sugar coating, what's the advice you really wish someone had given you when you were a teen? *Doomscrolling!! Jimmy Buffett passed away at 76 from spending too much time watching the sun bake. What is Burning Man and why aren't we allowed to make fun of the people who got stuck there? Diarrhea Delt...

Thursday, 08.31.23 (Slimfast and Snowcone Show)

Wednesday, 08.30.23 (Slimfast and Snowcone Show)

Tuesday, 08.29.23

Football is right around the corner, and we've spent plenty of time speculating about who will be good. Why not spend a little time talking about teams that will probably suck? *The governor of Nevada says it's time to bring Rock & Roll back to the Super Bowl. He wants AC/DC. *What are things you hated as a kid, but you love as an adult? *Doomscrolling!! More confusing Trump news. A college student was killed when he accidentally tried entering the wrong house. The Jacksonville shooter was p...

Monday, 08.28.23

It's good to get along with your neighbors but you don't want your neighbors to feel too comfortable chatting with you. It's a fine line. *A young couple tried having a baby for years but didn't have any luck. So, they went to get checked out and their doctor was shocked when she discovered the reason they'd been failing to conceive. *Some top guy in Spanish soccer is being asked to resign after he kissed a female player in celebration. Maybe he should get a job in Italy. Italian uproar over...

Friday, 08.25.23

Thursday, 08.24.23

It's 2023 and it's still hard to find an affordable house with an indoor pool. Why is that? *Julia is even more famous today! She has a Tik Tok video with almost a million views and those numbers keep rising. Now it's up to Snowcone to come up with something that will be even more viral. *A 3rd grade teacher in Oklahoma was escorted from the building on the first day of school because she was drunk. Does she deserve a second chance? *Doomscrolling!!! Putin breaks his silence about that myste...

Wednesday, 08.23.23

Is global warming going to force us to move? Why isn't anybody concerned about this? We're melting down here. *Netflix released the new Untold docuseries about the Florida Gators and Urban Meyer. Of course, Lazlo and Slim have already watched the whole thing. *The greatest movie soundtracks of all time, according to a new article. *Doomscrolling!! Trump and his buddies don't have much time left to turn themselves in. A few of the guys already turned themselves in and Trump says he'll do it t...

Tuesday, 08.22.23

Snowcone loves his White Claws but he's happy to take a free Truly. If you could only have one type of alcohol for the rest of your life, what would it be? Slim's gonna fat off Keystones, Lazlo's gonna put whisky in his limeades, and Snowcone's gonna drink Black Cherry White Claws until Jesus brings him home. *Fantasy Football is here. Lazlo still plays with his high school friends like he has for years. Snowcone and Slimfast need to find a league they can join where they don't have to be in...

Monday, 08.21.23

The rest of the world has been complaining about this for months but now it's hot as hell here and we can't help but bitch about it. *Slimfast went to Billy Joel on Saturday and tried his best to rub shoulders with the big shots. *Over the weekend, Britney Spears broke her silence about her divorce in the form of more word salad on Instagram. *Kid Rock was photographed drinking Bud Light at a concert last week.  *Doomscrolling!! LA is under water. With each new indictment, Trump seems to gai...

Toxic and Problematic with Coach Dan Lanning, 08.20.23

We're back and we have a huge guest this week! Lazlo managed to land us an interview with Dan Lanning, head coach of Oregon Football! The story of how this came to be is kind of crazy but let's just say that Dan used to have to listen to us on the radio and claims he didn't hate it. Dan's story is straight out of an inspirational Disney biopic. We hope you enjoy our conversation with Dan and remember to write a review for Toxic & Problematic. Thanks also to our sponsors at Mitra-9.com where ...

Friday, 08.18.23 (Best Of)

Thursday, 08.17.23

Wednesday, 08.16.23

Back to school already? Have we mentioned how much we hate school? Couldn't we have just hung out at our parents' house until we were old enough to join the military? *There's a new doc on Netflix about BALCO and steroids in sports. Whether you're for or against PEDs, you have to admit that the steroid era in baseball was a ton of fun. *The official NFL website has listed the top ten QBs going into the 2023 season. Number 1 and 2 are pretty easy to guess but Lazlo has issues with a few other...

Tuesday, 08.15.23

Who's got the best voice on tv? The from Hard Knocks on HBO is pretty great. Slimfast says the guy from Frontline on PBS is the best, because of course he would say that. *Who has the best and worst uniforms in the NFL? Which teams have mascots that actually give you a clue about which city they're in? *Did Skittles just pull a Bud Light? Should we be annoyed that skittles bags are getting political? Lazlo thinks it's a great idea and makes a good argument for it. *Doomscrolling!! Trump is o...

Monday, 08.14.23

Who were your childhood heroes? Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? Luke and Han? Hulk Hogan? *And the biggest pop culture jerk is..... *It's been a while since we've had a good celebrity meltdown. The best part is, this one involves butt stuff. *Wander Franco of the Tampa Rays has been accused of "dating" a 14-year-old. Michael Oher (football player portrayed in The Blind Side) says Sandra Bullock never actually adopted him. *Doomscrolling!! Trump says a potential witness in his upcoming indictme...

Toxic and Problematic, 08.12.23

We're answering questions from our twitch stream (link below). We discuss our biggest regrets, time machines, The Golden Girls, and more. We missed you and hope you'll join us next time. Take a second to click our twitch link down there and follow us right now.  www.twitch.tv/churchoflazlo www.lazlo.church www.reddit.com/r/churchoflazlo  

Friday, 08.11.23 (Best Of)

Thursday, 08.10.23

Slimfast is feeling guilty (shocking) and it involves his mom (shocking again). *Letting your kid get behind the wheel alone for the first time has to be top-10 most stressful moments of parenting. *How long should you grieve about the death of a pet? And I'm talking about a real pet like a dog or cat or maybe even a monkey but certainly not lizards or fish. *Doomscrolling!! Lazlo doesn't understand how Hawaii can be so susceptible to fires when it's surrounded by water. Feinstein took a tum...

Wednesday, 08.09.23

Gambling problem? What gambling problem?? I already told you, it's those fat cat bankers keeping me poor! *We've all been victims of bad haircuts, but have you ever been the victim of a devastating haircut right before school was about to start? *Lazlo and Slimfast promise not to spoil the Johnny Football doc on Netflix and then proceed to spoil the Johnny Football doc on Netflix. *Doomscrolling!! Unless you bought your ticket at a Publix in Jupiter Beach Florida, you're still not a billiona...

Tuesday, 08.08.23

Financial Advice with Lazlo and Slim. *The 5 most overrated NFL teams going into the 2023 season. *Billboard released the top 100 greatest album covers of all time (link below). We like the list, but we think they overlooked a few. *Doomscrolling! Anyone ever heard of ALS? Trump goes after Jack Smith in classic Trump style. MegaMillions has hit a record high. Russia does the old "double-tap". The cousin of the Uvalde school shooter threatened to shoot up a school. Immaculate Grid is all the ...

Monday, 08.07.23

Slimfast recommended that the guys watch Mike Judge's Extract, and they were less than impressed. So, you tell me, what makes a comedy funny? *Canada came up with a list of the NFL's most diehard fans and it only shows that Canada knows very little about the NFL and making lists. *Elon says that the fight with Zuck is on but he just needs to check with his doctors first. Speaking of Musk, who's rich from your state? Who makes money in your state? Is it true that the richest person from Slimf...

Thursday, 08.03.23

Now that we all know the story of Jake (or is it Logan) Paul, what the hell ever became of Johnny Football? Like, is he rich or is he dead? *Some travel magazine has come up with the best countries to visit for a song. Which countries on the list would you visit and why hasn't Snowcone already visited the top choice? *It turns out there's a reason you're having so much trouble finding love on that dating app. You don't know how to play ball in your league. *Doomscrolling!! Is it possible tha...

Wednesday, 08.02.23

"Matt Damon is 5'2, eyes are blue. Coochie-coochie-coochie-coo," -Rudy Giuliani *I think we're all sick of hearing about gaslighting and being accused of gaslighting someone every time there's a disagreement. Now we have to deal with "ghostllighting"? *Lazlo says we all need to watch the new Jake Paul documentary on Netflix. Or is it Logan Paul? I think it's Jake. *Doomscrolling!! More details on the Lizzo lawsuit. We're trying to understand the latest Trump indictment and it's going about ...

Tuesday, 08.01.23

I thought Lizzo was supposed to be a woke icon. What's with these allegations of her acting like the three of us at a strip club? *You know things are bad when the top three Billboard songs are all crappy country songs. This is the first time that's ever happened. *Girls are now using "the Barbie test" on first dates. Speaking of Barbie, are a few dudes allowed to sit around and give our thoughts on the movie? *Doomscrolling!! Is this zoo in China just dressing up people in bear suits and pu...

Monday, 07.31.23

We're back! Our first summer vacation of the year is over and now it's time to really button down and get serious about this podcast and the work that awaits us. *Lazlo says his family road trip was awesome and he's super jealous of the stadium in Minneapolis. Pee Wee Herman is dead at 70. *An Ohio woman was arrested at a water park after causing a scene and calling someone's child a "fat ass". Did your parents ever yell at other kids? *What would your life be like if you'd ended up with the...

Toxic and Problematic, 07.22.23

We've got an awesome guest this week. Joanna Schwartz is a professor of law at UCLA and the author of "Shielded: How the Police Became Untouchable". Just how hard is it to hold the police accountable when they violate your constitutional rights? First, you're going to have to find a lawyer, and that might not be as easy as you'd think. Second, you'll have to beat the odds by getting a court to hear your case. Finally, if you are successful and a judge does decide that you're owed a nice big ...

Thursday, 07.20.23

How did our ancestors survive without air conditioning? How do people in Phoenix survive with air conditioning? *What did celebrities buy with their first big royalty check? *Grae Drake is on the show! She's seen Barbie and Oppenheimer and says they're both great but it's pretty obvious which was her favorite. *Doomscrolling! Travis King's family speaks out about their loved one's decision to run to North Korea. The police and the public don't seem to believe Carlee Russell's story, but what...

Wednesday, 07.19.23

Lazlo had the perfect family vacation planned for next week and the kids were excited about seeing Walley World but plans change. What would be a good impromptu spot to take the family for a few days? Twin Cities it is! *People are really worked up about this Jason Aldean song. I guess he doesn't want us visiting any small towns. I'm good with that. *Charles Barkley is a national treasure. Don't forget to buycott some Bud Light on your way home. *Doomscrolling! Are the cops about to solve Tu...

Tuesday, 07.18.23

It's time to dismantle the system that requires we be on time for work! When will "time blindness" get the awareness it deserves? *These poor Gen Z kids. They'll never get to experience the perfect childhood that was only afforded to 80s and 90s kids. *Doomscrolling! One BILLION dollars! A real life Cast Away guy was rescued after being stranded at sea with his dog for three months. A 10-year-old was thrown from a carnival ride in Illinois. An American soldier apparently walked into North Ko...

Monday, 07.17.23

How can three guys in three different places all have their air conditioners break at the same time? *Did you watch Quarterback on Netflix this weekend? Man oh man, how excited were you to get a glimpse of Marcus Mariota's life behind the scenes? *Police want you to be on the lookout for a new scam that tricks people into robbing banks. Seriously. *Doomscrolling! The Long Island Serial Killer has been apprehended (and I guess we're not calling him that anymore). Messi is finally here, with u...

Rob A Bank Scam

Everyone Watching Quarterback?

Mahomes is just the best, right?

Thursday, 07.13.23

Wednesday, 07.12.23

Did you know that your perineum can get infected and kill you?? Not the kind of thing you expect to learn while watching The All-Star Game. *Jonah Hill is not having a great week. *Did you waste any money on Prime deals yet? I was hoping to get a sweet deal on a refurbished Zune but those things are hard to come by. *Doomscrolling! Welcome to Tuberville, where we call all white people "American". Bill Gates says there could potentially be a few downsides to artificial intelligence. Need an a...

Tuesday, 07.11.23

Lazlo loves to reminisce about the good old days before women's reproductive healthcare became such a polarizing issue. *Why are men so confident in their ability to judge another man's character after a brief introduction? Are men actually good judges of character or is this yet another example of guys being overly confident in their abilities? *Jonah Hill's ex released screenshots of old text conversations between her and the Oscar-nominated star. Do these texts prove that Jonah is a bad g...

Monday, 07.10.23

Slimfast saw a dead dog from his childhood this weekend, all because he refuses to hire professional lawn guys (you'll just have to listen). Remember Chiefsaholic? The guy who allegedly knocked off those banks and then went on the lam? Well, they finally caught him. *Another ring doorbell video has gone viral. This one shows a 12-year-old boy going door to door trying to make friends. Well Kid, friends are hard to come by. Besides, wouldn't you rather have a nice big GoFundMe campaign? *Doom...

Doom Scrolling Full

Doom Scrolling Pt 2

Doom Scrolling Pt 1