Alonzo Bodden: Who's Paying Attention?

#90: Merry Christmas GOP

November 07, 2014 21:03 - 16 minutes - 14.9 MB

1- Merry Christmas GOP the Dems have decided to give you the Senate 2- Haitian immigrant is ok but that Kenyan Immigrant is still a problem 3- We promise not to shut down government like last time we shut down government 4- Don’t worry, we’re still crazy 5- I just hooked up with a hot cheerleader, what do you mean illegal?

#89: Do Not Sit Here

October 29, 2014 17:56 - 19 minutes - 18.2 MB

1- Thou shalt not support a democrat 2- Hey Bear, put the donut down 3- Capt obvious has spoken 4- The polls say we can make more money from a playoff 5- Do Not Sit Here 6- Bash brother shoots self 7- No more Honey Boo Boo chile, hope for us all

#88: I Heard It On TMZ

October 14, 2014 00:24 - 21 minutes - 19.7 MB

1- I’m still with you brother 2- Doing nothing is too activist 3- Jesus is asking religion to leave him alone 4- I heard it on TMZ 5- Go Royals

#87: FOX News Confused

October 03, 2014 18:21 - 29 minutes - 27 MB

1- Repubs don't want to debate abortion, gay marriage or contraception. You now, their core issues 2- God's giving out pink slips 3- FOX News intolerance of Muslims matches Muslims intolerance of Americans 4- Black pastor says Obama's a gay Kenyan; FOX News confused 5- Forbes says "Even better than Reagan" 6- Ebola, Ebola and more Ebola 7- NFL players agree to wear pink ties to court when charged with domestic violence 8- Hussain Abdullah penalized for praying, just like Tebow 9- Jeter was am...

#86: I'm Watching Chess

September 18, 2014 18:02 - 28 minutes - 26.5 MB

1- NFL is a mess that needs a leader 2- Budweiser is going gangster, Tony Soprano would be proud 3- ESPN fumbles again and again and again 4- Drug tests, suspensions, suspensions of drug tests 5- I’m watching Chess 6- Republicans say drug test non users 7- Get your MRAP here kids 8- Scene from movie Crash becomes real life in my hometown 9- Smell your cabbie, no really g’head , smell him

#85: Can Siri Step Up?

September 12, 2014 20:21 - 19 minutes - 17.8 MB

1- ESPN scooped by TMZ is BS 2- My NBA owner is more racist than yours 3- Sometimes you just need a punch in the mouth 4- Lowlife bullies meet big time internet 5- iPhone 6...can Siri step up?

#84: Joan Rivers RIP

September 05, 2014 19:56 - 23 minutes - 21.7 MB

1- A plan for Isis 2- Look out Governor. 3- Bachman was right. We're in trouble now 4- Twisted logic of hate. 5- Wanna see me naked? 6- Footballs back. Call a lawyer 7- Joan Rivers RIP

#83: That's Expensive Tea...

August 25, 2014 20:16 - 32 minutes - 30.3 MB

1- They're police, not soldiers - drive a van 2- John Crawford was openly carrying a toy gun 3- ENOUGH, STOP SHOOTING 4- Thats expensive tea 5- Left and right agree that they don't like public integrity investigations 6- You're not paranoid when they are corrupt 7- I made 142 million, for nothing 8- Ice bucket challenged 9- Michael Sam sacks Johnny Football; so do the Browns 10- Suge Knight shot as the 90’s attempt revenge

#82: Do Dogs Read Craigslist?

August 14, 2014 17:51 - 31 minutes - 29.1 MB

1- Summer break from school shootings to shoot black kids 2- Robin Williams is gone 3- Let's not do stupid shit 4- 2 weeks of not clearing brush 5- Welcome gov and the Klan 6- Do dogs read Craigslist? 7- We’re sick but we hate healthcare 8- We got robbed in a sketchy neighborhood 9- College payers will get paid 10- Welcome to Sturgis I was wrong

#81: Insulted By Rickles

July 29, 2014 19:03 - 30 minutes - 27.8 MB

1- I've been insulted by Rickles....comedy careers complete 2- Sarah Palin TV, cheaper than your porn site 3- Constitution smonstitution, I’m Rand Paul 4- Right of the right 5- Obama vs Israel 6- Canadian Sopranos meet Maury Povich 7- Rob Ford might be the smart one in family 8- Sexy teacher teaches boys sex 9- Sterling's out but we’re stuck with Stephen A 10- Thor’s a woman Capt America’s black The Tea Partys mad

#80: Dick Cheney vs EVERYBODY

July 09, 2014 18:05 - 34 minutes - 31.9 MB

1- Schools out No Shootings 2- What a pretty convict you have 3- Ann Coulter hates soccer so it must be good 4- Tea party Vs Tea Party decided by black people? Only in America 5- Dick Cheney vs EVERYBODY 6- What the founding fathers meant was, read and think for yourselves

#79: Lookin' for Good News

June 17, 2014 21:19 - 27 minutes - 25.4 MB

1- Lookin for good news, found shootings 2- Seattle, Oregon, Vegas...I can't keep up 3- They’re not school shootings, they’re shootings that took place at a school 4- Shootings and racism are like hot dogs and apple pie 5- Obama palling around with terrorists again 6- Long beard, you must be terrorist, or Duck hunter 7- New bible endorsed by same Jesus that brought you guns 8- Obama multitasking started Iraq war while engineering economic collapse 9- C’mon Eric Cantor let's vote down Obamacar...

#78: Australia Did It

May 28, 2014 22:15 - 28 minutes - 26.3 MB

1- I’m not psychic 2- Cowards, featuring Joe The Plumber 3- #yesallwomen because we men need to know 4- I brought my gun to a restaurant 5- Fewer guns vs more racism, only in America 6- Australia did it 7- Goodbye Maya Angelou we love you, we miss you and we need you

#77: Guns Gunz Gunz

May 16, 2014 22:26 - 27 minutes - 24.9 MB

1- We register cars, don't we? 2- Hello police? There's an armed militia next door 3- Insane, meet more insane 4- Race has nothing, I mean everything to do with it 5- A word from an expert 6- Guns as free speech 7- Your argument could kill me

#76: Sterling is the New Rust

May 01, 2014 18:52 - 31 minutes - 29.3 MB

1- Donald Sterling's racist rant cost him the Clippers 2- Adam Silver don’t play 3- Gold-digger’s gotta dig 4- Cliven who? 5- Sarah’s crazy Supreme court is dangerous 6- A living wage might cost you your other job, dinosaurs wore saddles and other repub myths 7- Sorry PJ maybe Tesla will make a chainsaw

#75: Roy Wood Jr. and Al Jackson

April 24, 2014 16:37 - 1 hour - 57.2 MB

1- Women aim too low 2- Patriotic domestic terror 3- Designed to be unintelligent 4- Planned Grand Parenthood 5- Laws are sexy

#74: Hello Captain Obvious

April 18, 2014 17:56 - 11 minutes - 10.4 MB

1- Stabbing is better than shooting 2- Repubs appeal to racists? Say it ain’t so 3- Poor people better learn to buy drugs on lower minimum wage 4- 3 reasons I like republicans

#73: Follow the Money

April 04, 2014 23:11 - 21 minutes - 19.9 MB

1- Supreme Court finally allows rich some representation 2- Something to buy with 100 million 3- I vote against me 4- Guns don't kill people, oh wait, they do 5- Get your bear suit 6- Coaches rich. Players nothing

#72: The Truth in Black and White

March 19, 2014 16:52 - 54 minutes - 50.2 MB

1- Was that Black White or Green 2- Bullets are bad for you 3- Gay Bullies 4- Slavery, the good kind 5- Dr. Ben 6- Black Twitter & Tweets

#71: Airlines & Religion, Neither one is flying

March 07, 2014 23:59 - 23 minutes - 21.9 MB

1- Airline bill of rights? You have the right to pay 2- Can I see your X-rays? 3- Arizona is Western Mississippi 4- Religion's coming to an end and boy is Jesus happy

#70: Fair is Fair, Sort of

February 21, 2014 17:49 - 20 minutes - 19.2 MB

1- Murder unsuccessful but attempted murder went great 2- Standing your ground depends on what color is standing 3- God's law? Which ones 4- Guys they've f**ked, no! They're not politicians 5- Knocked her out, in a straight manly way 6- LoLo is so slow 7- Met a senator and lived to tell about it 8- Buy 'Merican

#69: Civil Rights? No, Civil Wrongs

February 11, 2014 22:26 - 24 minutes - 22.6 MB

1- Michael Sam is gay but it’s the NFL execs that are punks 2- Hey Michael, please assault someone to prove you belong 3- Media accuses media of media circus during media circus 4- MSNBC, stop it 5- Repubs can't create laws while busy creating fake websites 6- Hello Florida, living to grow up is a basic human right, stand on that

#68: What Would Martin Say

January 21, 2014 22:45 - 19 minutes - 18.2 MB

1- What would MLK think today 2- He’d think Palin was funny too 3- Chris Christie or Chris Soprano 4- Rodman goes to rehab 5- NSA rules are a secret 6- Superbowl is set 7- Men like breasts, bet you didn’t know that 8- Michelle Obama is 50

#67: Nothing Changes if Nothing Changes

January 12, 2014 03:26 - 18 minutes - 17.4 MB

1- I resolve to get fat 2- It's cold outside. Back to you Jim 3- You'll fly where we say when we say now pay your fees 4- Bridgegate is not a gate 5- News that's not news 6- Saturday Night Live hires black woman Texas hires Black coach old white man is angry 7- Finally, I can drive while black

#66: Merry Christmas

December 19, 2013 21:01 - 16 minutes - 14.8 MB

Merry Christmas...give someone a goat

#65: We Need Jesus

December 09, 2013 19:48 - 15 minutes - 14 MB

1- I was in Jakarta 2- I almost gave up on evil until we hit a new low 3- Ted Cruz liked Mandela on Facebook 4- Stuart Varney tired of Pope and this whole help the poor thing 5- I finally agree with the right, Jesus, get back here

#64: Obama es no Bueno

November 27, 2013 21:50 - 23 minutes - 21.6 MB

1- Obama es no bueno 2- We don’t like him but boy is he powerful 3- Christian+ Patriot+ militia = meeting secret service 4- No its not race, you racist 5- When you get away with it, shut up 6- Fight the war on Christmas, get to a mall

#63: Things Ain't Always As They Seem

November 19, 2013 18:47 - 27 minutes - 25.4 MB

1- Healthcare.gov the same as Katrina except for the dead and homeless people 2- Chris Christy is not approved by conventional racist homophobes 3- Dave Wilson wants to be black Well watch out for the police 4- Melissa Bachman is not related to Michelle Bachman which is even scarier because now we know there's 2 of them 5- Tips are cash not advice or your close minded hate 6- There seemed to be no hope until bat kid rescued all of us

#62: From the Outside Looking In

November 11, 2013 21:49 - 19 minutes - 17.9 MB

From the Outside Looking In 1- Live from Canada 2- Mayors on crack 3- Reasonable Republican? 4- Suzanne's blonde moment 5- Unlikely supporter 6- Go Clippers 7- Rule 62

#61: We're Movin!

October 29, 2013 18:40 - 21 minutes - 19.8 MB

We’re Movin! Are we movin fwd or backward? I dunno but we are movin Fwd Darrel Wallace wins at NASCAR Backward Shopping at Barneys? Bring your pay stub Backward Voting rights laws Fwd Judge admits he screwed up on voting rights laws HOPE kids react to Cheerios commercial

#60: Please...have a plan

October 24, 2013 00:40 - 22 minutes - 20.3 MB

Have a plan, whether you... 1-shut down the government 2-legalize weed or 3-watch the end of days Please, Have a plan

#59: Race to the Bottom

October 02, 2013 01:17 - 19 minutes - 17.8 MB

1- Shut em down! Shut ‘em, Shut ‘em Down 2- Man up and shut down everything 3- Uh fellas, the heatlh care law still went into effect 4- Approval rating? Congress loses to president, of Russia 5- Race to the bottom and we all lose

#58: Beanie Babies in Trouble

September 20, 2013 22:09 - 23 minutes - 21.4 MB

1-Another mass shooting, business as usual 2-New gun laws, No Gun laws, No new gun laws 3-Take guns from mentally ill? Hell they won’t take them from the blind 4- Nothing changes if Nothing changes from cops to congress 5- Another scary black man shot 6- Defund Obamacare or we will shut down the government, again, no really, this time we mean it, sort of, we will, 7- Beanie Babies in trouble 8- Crime doesn’t pay Video games about crime pay a fortune 9 -Texas says, Science , we don’t need no s...

#57: Miss Kansas Has Ink

September 17, 2013 15:56 - 21 minutes - 19.6 MB

1- Sanity in Syria US and Russia agree to let UN inspect and destroy weapons to avoid airstrikes and save face 2- This week I’m going with stupid and sports 3- Zimmerman at it again altercation with wife and father in law IPad smashed Zimmerman hitting head again he’s always hit in head and of course no charges filed. He’s neighborhood watch captain its time to move out of neighborhood 4- Iowa says its ok for blind people to carry guns in public, my question, why is it not ok for blind people...

#56: Confounded Confederates

September 06, 2013 00:13 - 15 minutes - 14.7 MB

1- Was that Obama or Bush I heard? 2- Confounded Confederates 3- Missouri out to shoot constitution 4- Pro football is back, in college

#55: Alonzo on NO NEWS IS GOOD NEWS

August 29, 2013 00:16 - 44 minutes - 40.9 MB

Listen to Alonzo's appearance on NO NEWS IS GOOD NEWS on http://Laffster.com!

#54: Pray For Mississippi

August 21, 2013 16:22 - 31 minutes - 28.6 MB

1- Pray for Mississippi 2- Anti Obamacare is getting sick 3- I’ll sue you to charge me more cuz I’m crazy 4- Wal Mart people, pay & problems 5- NCAA may have to free indentured servants, I mean college athletes 6- A Rod hits the guy who hit him 7- The Butler

#53: Backwards and Forwards

August 15, 2013 19:17 - 33 minutes - 30.6 MB

1- Cecil Gaines, The Butler 2- North Carolina moving backwards 3- Virginia staying backwards 4- Texas, well theyre just Texas 5- Damn constitution stopped a frisky Bloomberg 6- Someone please save Chicago 7- Deficit is dropping Both sides anxious to take credit for not giving credit 8- Oprah dissed, may buy Stitzerland 9- You can’t name your kid Messiah, just ask God

#52: Goodbye George Duke

August 07, 2013 01:25 - 27 minutes - 25 MB

1- Why Blame A-Rod 2- The Steroid era A few good years 3- Youre not conservative enough Stop Reading 4- A Weiner by any other Name 5- The artist known as Jay-Z 6- Goodbye George Duke, Thanks

#51: Baseball and Juice

August 01, 2013 21:01 - 31 minutes - 28.7 MB

1- I Love Montreal 2- Carlos Danger for Mayor 3- You need a therapist, or Jesus depends on which side your on 4- My boss made my annual salary TODAY 5- White Supremacist named black quits I can’t make that up 6- How many babies can you afford 7- Baseball and juice 8- Baby Prince George who I don’t care about but must mention by law 9- Surfers riot no, really, they did. dude, wtf????

#50: Texas...Still Crazy

July 22, 2013 03:56 - 16 minutes - 15.4 MB

1- No one does a good job 2- Especially not Florida lawmakers and juries 3- Good luck black teenagers it aint going to be easy 4- Texas, still crazy after all these years

#49: The Flip Flop Controversy

July 11, 2013 08:26 - 36 minutes - 33.2 MB

1- Suspect in North Carolina 2- Trayvon was in better shape than Zimmerman, so? 3- Where’s the Outrage New title for my TV special? Nope , a real question 4- Kids aren’t driving, 5- Long John Silver Wins 6- Dwight Howard Taking talents to Houston 7- You thought you were a sports fan? 8- The great Flip Flop Controversy. I found the outrage

#48: Quickest Trial Ever

July 03, 2013 00:38 - 38 minutes - 35.5 MB

1- Recording a live show? STOP IT 2- Gays Getting hitched Humans , not Bert and Ernie 3- Haters hatin 4- Got gay marriage right now lets work on that race thing 5- Quickest trial ever 6- Black kids have super powers? 7- Curtis Flowers, 0 for 6 8- Sorry Lauryn , you gotta pay 9- Test the Farmers 10- Aaron Hernandez you should watch CSI 11- 128 vs 129 12- Condolences to families of firefighters

#47: Carl Reiner says I am "F**king Outstanding"

June 26, 2013 17:10 - 29 minutes - 27 MB

1- I’m back , no music listener inputs and some funny added 2- LA Press Club dinner EXTRA EXTRA Carl Reiner says I am “F**king Outstanding” 3- 3 Discrimination no longer exists Well at least not in places that used to discriminate 4- Trevon Martin family glad discrimination no longer exists because judging by this jury… 5- Sarah is back and the Momma Grizzly doesn’t want illegals in her den 6- 1% of1% says you don’t matter 7- Get that kid a shotgun 8- CONGRATS LeBron and the HEAT

#46: Don't Stare At Me

June 05, 2013 19:12 - 15 minutes - 14.3 MB

1- Theres gonna be some changes around here 2- Which way do I go 3- Bachman steps down maybe smart is winning 4- Rasslers offend Tea baggers 5- Don’t stare at me 6- DNA collection ok Nancy Grace ecstatic 7- Heat Heat Heat

#45: I Miss SARS

May 24, 2013 21:02 - 25 minutes - 23.4 MB

1- Its Scandal season, personally, I miss SARS 2- Benghazi, Ben Messy what happens when secret source is a liar and you are a sucker 3- AP Phone records who knew they hated Obama more than they love foiling plots 4- House votes against Obamacare, its only the 37th time you voted against a law approved by supreme court , way to not waste time & money 5- Banks play morality card , no really, ,the bankers used the word morality, c’mon, stop it, you’re killing me 6- And you thought Bachman was c...

#44: Tiger is Back!

May 14, 2013 20:11 - 28 minutes - 26.2 MB

1- Bengahzi, evil? Couldn’t be Cheyney wasn’t there, its just good ole American incompetence 2- Rt wing radio is in trouble Hey Rush, the slut is winning 3- Cleveland heroes, rescues and loads of laughs Lebron is not involved 4- Ariel Castro gonna find out what imprisonment is 5- Hey HLN Nancy Grace is missing, sorry, wishful thinking 6- Tiger is back , thanks Lindsay 7- ATM robbery a true movie style caper, a plot where’s Tom Cruise 8- Hey Bachman before the constitution talked about guns th...

#43: Thug Goat

May 03, 2013 21:15 - 52 minutes - 48.4 MB

1- You know its gonna be a bad day when 2- Jason Collins first gay athlete KUDOS sir 3- Chris Broussard homophobe, hypocrite, christian ? Hey ESPN give him Sunday & every other day off 4- Guns Gins Guns 3 sides of a coin 5- You might be an idiot when you have redneck day 6- Thug goat? Really Mountain dew, a thug goat? 7- Obama is hilarious 8- And Sarah Palin hates him for it 9- 29% believe in armed rebellion, and santa clause 10- Secede already, go, no really, go, take your guns and we’ll kee...

#42: Boston Bombing

April 26, 2013 01:15 - 24 minutes - 22.5 MB

1- Boston Bombing 2- No news is news the Post Cnn Fox we don’t have news so we’ll make some up 3- Fertilizer explosion in Texas, no one heard it 4- Lets arm the babies Its never too soon 5- Kermit Gosnell , killer 6- We left the natives sand? Lets take it 7- Flight’s delayed, you’ve been sequestered 8- A great judge administers great justice 9- LA traffic worst in country We win again 10- Go CLIPPERS 11- RIP Jonathan Winters we’ll miss you

#41: Religion Is Like A Penis

April 10, 2013 22:24 - 40 minutes - 36.7 MB

1- Kidneys gone, I’m good Thanks 2- Welcome to Louisiana have a drink get ur gun 3- North Dakota says at conception you are a person with rights except the right to choose 4- Don Young calls em Wetbacks Obama calls her beautiful Same thing right? 5- Boycott FOX news about time that left wing FOX is exposed 6- Religion is like a penis, Do not pull it out in public 7- Science says universe is 13.82 billion years old Palin is sticking with 5000 8- Plan B with no ID 9- RIP Margaret Thatcher 10- ...

Alonzo Bodden: Who's Paying Attention?

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