Stop People Pleasing
47 episodes - English - Latest episode: 6 months ago -The Stop People Pleasing podcast is the entry visa to getting your life back. Required listening for every empath, highly sensitive person and people pleaser out there.
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Episodes
Bonus: Silence Your Inner Critic Event
October 28, 2023 16:43 - 3 minutes - 8.48 MBCalling all those who are sick of their inner critic getting nasty whenever you stand up for yourself. I am thinking of putting together a small group event. Interested? Email me [email protected] with a quick message to say you are interested. What The Event Is About This would be 2 x 2 hour workalong sessions in a small group, led by me, where you would create a solid plan for managing difficult conversations without feeling guilty about standing up for yourself. I plan t...
39: Parties Minus Overwhelm
October 27, 2023 12:38 - 10 minutes - 24.7 MBBe sociable…on your terms. Parties: most empaths and highly sensitive people have a biiiiiig problem with them, due to massive sensory overload. The noise. The crowds. The music. Waaaay toooo muuuuch. But never fear, for Harriet is here! Why should you have to carry all the overwhelm of the party, then reach a point where you can no longer stand it and just walk out, taking a boatload of guilt that doesn't belong to you? There is a better way, which I describe in this episode. ...
#38: Decoding Narcissism
September 20, 2023 12:15 - 7 minutes - 17.5 MBSend me your most annoying narc phrases to decode! Email info (at) theshiftinside dot com The Stop People Pleasing Podcast is back :) Standing up to narcissistic behaviour starts with getting some distance…and what better way to do that than to decode the same old same old nonsense you’ve heard a million times before. In this episode, I give you three translations of things that narcissists commonly say. Warning! The sarcasm level goes through the roof. My hope is that you will fe...
#38: What If They Say No?
June 27, 2022 16:47 - 5 minutes - 6.55 MBA short episode on managing fear of rejection - in real time! Most people will tell you to not worry about reaching out to new people - but I explain why - for recovering people pleasers - this is rubbish advice…and what to replace it with. https://www.theshiftinside.com/rum-what-is-cavebrain/ Harriet Morris Info (at) theshiftinside.com
#37: Three Ways To Protect Your Energy
October 27, 2021 17:46 - 12 minutes - 14.1 MBHave you ever thought that a powerful and liberating reframe to stop people pleasing is to focus on protecting your energy? You defocus on conflict and trying to change other people, and pivot to how you are showing up. This is completely independent of others' ideas and how much - or little- they agree or understand the new stopped people pleasing you. Sound good? In this episode I explore three very different ways to do this. My email address is info {at} theshiftinside.com - use ...
#36: A Better Question
August 31, 2021 05:30 - 7 minutes - 8.58 MBhttps://www.theshiftinside.com/launchpad/ has all the details about the September Stop People Pleasing group coaching Launchpad. Today I talk about a question I used to ask myself when I was mired in people pleasing, and give you a MUCH better alternative. Find out what it is in this minisode. Doors close for the launchpad at 9.30pm UK time tonight 31st August.
#35: Empath Confidence
August 29, 2021 14:44 - 11 minutes - 13.1 MBHeads up! https://www.theshiftinside.com/launchpad/ Places are now open for the September group coaching programme. Today we discuss empath confidence. Many pieces of advice around improving your sense of self are written by , and for, non empaths...and are likely yo leave you feeling inadequate. The truth is that you need tailor-made ideas for dealing with a world that is not set up for you. I give you some ideas for developing this skill. Launchpad Group Coaching Programme Fi...
#34: The Lie
August 28, 2021 08:13 - 6 minutes - 6.98 MBhttps://www.theshiftinside.com/launchpad/ has all the details of September's Stop People Pleasing launchpad group coaching programme. Starts Wed 1st :) Today a short story called The Lie, with a twist in the tale. You might not like the twist, but if you want to stop people's good intentions draining the life out of you, listen up! Harriet Morris info (at) theshiftinside.com
Empath Drama Triangle
August 27, 2021 11:18 - 9 minutes - 10.2 MBHeads up! https://www.theshiftinside.com/launchpad/ Places are now open for the September group coaching programme. Episode #33 - The Empath Drama Triangle In this fourth part of this series on the key skills to stop people pleasing, we look at what the drama triangle is , and dive into its variant that every empath must learn about. Launchpad Group Coaching Programme Find out more at https://www.theshiftinside.com/launchpad/ In only 30 days, go from putting everyone else’s n...
#32: Askholes
August 25, 2021 08:07 - 10 minutes - 11.3 MBToday in installment #3 of our series on developing the key skills for stopping people pleasing, we discuss Askholes, and especially emotional ones. What are they? And why does recognising them matter in this area of life? All is revealed today. Harriet Morris Ex People Pleaser in Chief Email: info (at) theshiftinside dot com
#31: How Not To Be A Hyperreactive Mess
August 24, 2021 05:30 - 7 minutes - 8.93 MBToday is the second part of this week's series on the key skills of stopping people pleasing. Today I reframe oversensitivity as hyperreactivity and explain why it is a much more useful and kind way to think about this issue. Harriet Morris info {at} theshiftinside.com https://www.stoppeoplepleasingshow.com/
#30: The Escape Room
August 23, 2021 05:30 - 6 minutes - 7.72 MBThis is an empath's dilemma, set in an escape room. The question is: What would you do? This is the first of a series of minisodes coming to you daily this week around the key skills needed to stop people pleasing. Answer coming to you tomorrow! Harriet Morris https://www.stoppeoplepleasingshow.com/ Contact me: info (at) theshiftinside.com
#29: Phantom Thread
June 25, 2021 18:02 - 26 minutes - 32.2 MBGo to https://yourquiz.scoreapp.com/ to do the quiz: Are you ready to stop people pleasing? Today’s episode is a look at Paul Thomas Anderson’s 2017 film Phantom Thread through the lens of stopping people pleasing. WARNING: SPOILER ALERT! I talk about the lessons, as well as the ANTI lessons for you. This will be an especially important episode if you have ever got caught up in a relationship where there was a power imbalance. For example: How easy it is to fall under the spell of a b...
#27: Are You Ready To Stop People Pleasing?
June 18, 2021 15:15 - 12 minutes - 15.2 MBhttps://yourquiz.scoreapp.com/ is your Transformation Quiz to help you determine if you are actually ready to stop people pleasing. FILM OF THE WEEK …is The Hudsucker Proxy, a total joy of a film that will put a spring in your step. Are You Ready To Stop People Pleasing? Today I talk about the difference between wanting to stop people pleasing and actually being ready. I give you a thought-provoking question to give you some clarity here. Don’t forget to take the quiz here: https://y...
#26: The Half Of It / Better Than You Think
May 20, 2021 05:30 - 11 minutes - 13.5 MBBetter than I think at WHAT, Harriet??? All will be revealed There is still time to get access to the Boundary Setting 101 week videos - completely free Watch masterclass 1 now: https://www.theshiftinside.com/freed/ Film of The Week: The Half Of It, directed by Alice Wu. 3 reasons I love this film: #1 It disrupts the rom-com cliches you will be used to #2 Everyone is basically decent #3 It pokes fun at narcissism
#25: The Hidden Upside of Overwhelm
May 13, 2021 05:00 - 16 minutes - 19.3 MBhttps://www.theshiftinside.com/freed/ - yes it’s Boundary Setting 101 Week soon! Today is a follow on from the last episode on overwhelm which you can listen to at https://stoppeoplepleasingshow.com/24-how-to-stop-feeling-overwhelmed The key to today’s teaching is to accept the invitation inherent in overwhelm. I discuss what that could be. QUOTE OF THE WEEK Comes from The Language of Emotions by Karla Mclaren MORE ABOUT BOUNDARY SETTING 101 WEEK Q: WHAT IS IT? A: T...
#24: How to Stop feeling Overwhelmed
May 06, 2021 12:41 - 27 minutes - 32.5 MBEver felt so weighed down by everything in your life that you fantasised about breaking your leg, just to give yourself some time out of life? Well, I have. I talk about a more constructive way of lightening your load… Today is the first part of two episodes where I explain three ways to stop feeling so overwhelmed. Overwhelm is a very common side effect of people pleasing – but guess what? You need to create some mental and emotional space to start showing up differently – and that means ...
#23: Why Is It So Hard To Set Boundaries?
April 29, 2021 19:14HEADS UP! https://www.theshiftinside.com/freed/ 17th May sees the start of Boundary Setting 101 Week. The link has more information about this series of 3 free masterclasses that will make this challenge…well, less challenging. Why Is It So Hard To Set Boundaries? In today’s episode, I dive deep into some fundamental truths about the challenges of standing up for yourself…truths that I only discovered in getting over my own blocks to boundary setting. Interview of The Week …is Ri...
BONUS: Let's Do Coffee Tomorrow
April 27, 2021 09:03 - 1 minute - 2.46 MBI am hosting an informal coffee chat on Zoom tomorrow Wednesday 28th April. It will last about 45 minutes. No cost. No need to register - just turn up. Bring your favourite beverage! When is it? Because of the different time zones of my listeners, I'll be doing this twice - at 11am UK time then again at 8pm UK time You can check the time in your own time zone here https://www.timeanddate.com/worldclock/converter.html Here are the links and passcodes 11AM CHAT https://us02web...
#22: Unusual Advantages of Being An Empath
April 22, 2021 20:15 - 26 minutes - 30.6 MBGoogle advantages of being an empath and you will get a laundry list of benefits: intuition, ability to connect, an understanding of animals and so forth. In today’s episode, I want to look at some lesser known positives which may get you thinking more deeply about this topic. HEADS UP: LET’S DO COFFEE I am hosting two coffee chats on Zoom next Wednesday 28th April at 11am and 8pm UK time. Check your own time zone. No need to book, just turn up with your favourite beverage. You can...
#21: Transforming Resentment with Lauren Ammon
April 15, 2021 15:55 - 24 minutes - 17.9 MBHEADS UP! - BOUNDARIES COURSE COMING I am in the process of creating a course on setting better boundaries. At the moment I want your feedback. Here are the problems that I see block empaths from creating boundaries. Do these resonate with you? Give me your feedback by emailing me info {at} theshiftinside.com or join the SPP Facebook group (link below) #1 I really wish I could stand up for myself, but I don’t know how #2 It would be difficult to set boundaries with X, because s/he ...
#20 How to Stop People Pleasing By... Watching TV
April 08, 2021 16:52 - 23 minutes - 26.9 MBYes, you heard that right! You can stop people pleasing by watching TV. Well, almost... Find out how you can use your favourite films and documentaries to lay the groundwork for standing up for yourself as an empath or highly sensitive person. This is a continuation of the previous episode on Silent Agreements, but I give a quick recap on what that phrase means, so it will make sense even if you have not listened last week. Today I’m going to help you become a detective to start to becom...
#19: Silent Agreements
April 01, 2021 19:21 - 25 minutes - 30.3 MBGet your free Lifesaver 10 download here https://www.theshiftinside.com/lifesaver/ Book Of The Week …is Masquerade by Kit Williams You can see the entire book online at http://bunnyears.net/kitwilliams/ Silent Agreements Imagine that every relationship (and I use that in the most general sense) is based on an agreement. Because most of our interactions are not made concrete via a contract, we enter into silent agreements with everyone we interact with. Find out how th...
#18: Neville's Big Why
March 25, 2021 14:58 - 20 minutes - 22.6 MBThis is an extract from an episode of a side project podcast of mine called Harry potter Saved My Life. It talks about how you can use this character from the Harry Potter series to help stand up to users and stop people pleasing. Resources The Stop People Pleasing facebook group https://www.facebook.com/groups/stoppeoplepleasingwithharriet Listen to all of the Harry Potter Saved My Life podcast episodes Email me : info {at} theshiftinside.com Listen to all of the Stop Peopl...
#17: What Is Cavebrain And Why It Matters In Stopping Pleasing
March 18, 2021 21:00 - 31 minutes - 39.1 MBThink you are 100% at fault when you lack the courage to stand up to that user parading as your friend? Think again. Today I want to introduce you to a very important key to understanding why people pleasing is so hard to stop doing. Meet your Cavebrain. The great news is that once you understand Cavebrain, you can learn how to influence it Film of The Week Is Lars and The Real Girl, starring Ryan Gosling https://youtu.be/XNcs9DrKYRU Cavebrain This ancient part of your ...
#17: What Is Cavebrain And Why It Matters In Stopping People Pleasing
March 18, 2021 21:00 - 31 minutes - 39.1 MBThink you are 100% at fault when you lack the courage to stand up to that user parading as your friend? Think again. Today I want to introduce you to a very important key to understanding why people pleasing is so hard to stop doing. Meet your Cavebrain. The great news is that once you understand Cavebrain, you can learn how to influence it Film of The Week Is Lars and The Real Girl, starring Ryan Gosling https://youtu.be/XNcs9DrKYRU Cavebrain This ancient part of your ...
#16: Managing Social Media For Empaths with Trista Ainsworth
March 10, 2021 14:38 - 26 minutes - 28.7 MBSocial media can be overwhelming - but let’s not throw the baby out with the bathwater. If managed correctly, it can actually enhance your connections with others. Today I talk with my friend and fellow empath Trista Ainsworth about the amazing turnaround she experienced in 2020. She went from overwhelmed to being able to powerfully serve her clients and feel more protected. Professional organiser Trista shares the practical steps she took to reclaim her life from social media that you t...
#15: Great New Word / The Midnight Library
March 04, 2021 06:30 - 8 minutes - 10.8 MBNewsflash! Longer form weekly episodes return next week :) In this minisode, I tell you about a great new word that will empower you when navigating the world of people who can so easily take advantage of you. No more! I am also starting a new section called A Good Read or Good Watch. Today I talk about Matt Haig's The Midnight Library Get your free download Lifesaver 10 - a phrase book to stop people pleasing at https://www.theshiftinside.com/lifesaver/ Email me at info {at} th...
#14: When The Scales Fall From Your Eyes
February 22, 2021 12:40 - 8 minutes - 10.7 MBRemember the old hit Smoke gets In Your Eyes? This story I tell you today is a rebuff to these sorts of tired old romantic cliches of pop. A story about the scales falling from my eyes and the lyric from that song Something inside cannot be denied takes on a completely new meaning. Points to think about when the scales fall from your eyes: #1 Don’t waste time feeling stupid in retrospect. At least you can see the truth now. #2 Think about how you can show up strong when you see the...
#13: How To Stop Feeling So Hurt
February 02, 2021 16:26 - 8 minutes - 10.5 MBhttps://www.theshiftinside.com/feb-masterclass/ Today I share a story about a client who managed to reframe a situation and manage her hurt feelings. Register for my free masterclass: How To Stop feeling So Hurt next Wed 10 February Register here: https://www.theshiftinside.com/feb-masterclass/ Is it possible to reframe difficult situations so that you can reduce feelings of hurt and resentment? This masterclass will offer you a practical way to do exactly that. All you need is a...
#12: How To Challenge Your Beliefs
January 26, 2021 13:20 - 21 minutes - 24.9 MBIn today’s podcast, I dive into a topic I bet many people have never even considered: can you challenge your own beliefs? If you had more empowering beliefs, would that change your behaviour around bullies and so on? Also I have a TV show recommendation I think you will find interesting RESOURCES Fate: The Winx Saga is on Netflix Stop People Pleasing Facebook group is at https://www.facebook.com/groups/498527804436886 Find me on Instagram @stopeoplepleasing Get your free Lifes...
#11: The 10-20 Lockdown Stress Hack
January 19, 2021 07:00 - 9 minutes - 11.6 MBThis is a great lockdown stress hack to help you get through whatever restrictions are in force wherever you live. This is how it works. You need one hour – or 30 min if not. IF YOU HAVE ONE HOUR Split the time up as follows 10 min movement 20 min environment 10 min movement again 20 min reward In this episode, I go into details about what these categories can be, but in a nutshell: MOVEMENT – Whatever movement you can do in 10 min that makes you feel better ENVIRONMENT...
BONUS: Join Me On Zoom Next Tuesday
January 19, 2021 06:30 - 5 minutes - 6.39 MBhttps://www.theshiftinside.com/call/ Join me next Tuesday on Zoom for a special masterclass. The First Step to Stop People Pleasing Tuesday 26th January 8pm UK time Max 8 participants Grab your spot here https://www.theshiftinside.com/call/
#10: Actions Change Beliefs
January 12, 2021 17:38 - 22 minutes - 26.4 MBHow many people have told you that mindset is the key to changing your behaviour, and indeed life? While there is a lot of truth in this, I contend in this episode that the opposite is a more powerful way to make things better for yourself - especially if standing up to others is an issue for you. Yes, I am talking about your actions changing your mindset, your beliefs and your life. Could actions be more powerful than mindset? In this episode: *Teardown of why belief change is l...
#09: Two Things I Want for You In 2021
January 03, 2021 18:29 - 5 minutes - 7.29 MBPODFLASH! (a podcast newsflash…err Ok no…!) This show is changing its name to Stop People Pleasing within the coming week. If you are subscribed, the name and podcast art will automatically change. You don't need to do anything. In this short episode to welcome in 2021, I talk about 2 things I want for you in 2021 to help you start to live life on your terms at last. Next episode will be a full length one out on or before Tuesday 12th January. Join the Facebook group here: https://w...
08: The Problem with 'Normal'
December 01, 2020 16:48 - 20 minutes - 23 MBIt's time to own our abnormality! In today's show, I want to fight the oft-repeated phrase I just want to be normal. Whether they are talking about their eating, or their personality, I believe that there is no normal. Let's explore this. This is a replay of episode 22 of my other podcast, The Eating Coach. Although the focus is is on food, I believe there is a lot of useful information here. Being out of control can prompt a desire to be "normal". However, it has such wildly differing d...
#07 Part B: Neutralising Narcissism
November 24, 2020 16:50 - 21 minutes - 26.3 MBThis episode has two rather unexpected power moves for how to deal with energy vampires and manipulators. We are going to look at neutralising narcissism. If you are looking for a quick top ten tips sort of episode, then this will disappoint you. If, however, you want a strong foundation on which to build the confidence to stand up to manipulators and passive aggressive ego merchants (to name but a few types), you’ve come to the right place. RESOURCES Free phrase book to deal wit...
#07: Neutralising Narcissism
November 24, 2020 16:50 - 21 minutes - 26.3 MBThis episode has two rather unexpected power moves for how to deal with energy vampires and manipulators. We are going to look at neutralising narcissism. If you are looking for a quick top ten tips sort of episode, then this will disappoint you. If, however, you want a strong foundation on which to build the confidence to stand up to manipulators and passive aggressive ego merchants (to name but a few types), you’ve come to the right place. RESOURCES Free phrase book to deal wit...
07: How To Spot A Narcissist: 2 Power Moves
November 17, 2020 10:52 - 20 minutes - 24.5 MBThis episode gives you two ways to not only spot a narcissist, but deal with them. Let's go beyond the quick descriptions such as 'grandiose' and 'belittles others' to a really useful filter to get past the excuses that you as an empath or HSP have made for these people before. What Is A Narcissist? We are going to keep the definition to the very short ‘self-absorption’ for this episode, because this topic is so complex. What seems at first glance to be synonymous with the personality ...
06: How To Spot A Narcissist: 2 Power Moves
November 17, 2020 10:52 - 21 minutes - 25.8 MBThis episode gives you two ways to not only spot a narcissist, but deal with them. Let's go beyond the quick descriptions such as 'grandiose' and 'belittles others' to a really useful filter to get past the excuses that you as an empath or HSP have made for these people before. What Is A Narcissist? We are going to keep the definition to the very short ‘self-absorption’ for this episode, because this topic is so complex. What seems at first glance to be synonymous with the personality ...
06: 3 Ways To Make Lockdown Easier For Empaths
November 10, 2020 10:42 - 24 minutes - 30.4 MBWhether you are self-isolating or in semi quarantine, as an empath there is always something you can do to protect your energy and prevent overwhelm at this time of COVID uncertainty. In this week’s episode, I give three practical lessons I learnt from last lockdown that I hope will help you now. LESSON #1 Identify your overwhelm triggers Discover why you need to be careful with the term ‘triggers’. A good example of one of my overwhelm triggers is people catastrophising about...
05: Energy Vampires...Or Not
November 03, 2020 06:00 - 24 minutes - 30 MBGet your Lifesaver 10 phrases to deal with energy vampires here: https://www.theshiftinside.com/lifesaver/ In today’s episode, I shine a light on energy vampires – those people who draw energy from draining us of ours. My definition is: someone who, whether they know it or not, is invested in behaving in a way that is potentially parasitical to others. I discuss when this is a useful term, and when it is not…and even if we should replace the phrase with a different one altogether. I...
04: How To Play The Hand You’ve Been Dealt
October 23, 2020 10:45 - 24 minutes - 29.6 MBStarring Matt Damon, Robin Williams and...The Imbalance of Understanding. Get you free Lifesaver 10 download - 10 phrases to help you stand up to others without conflict https://www.theshiftinside.com/lifesaver/ In this episode, I give you some ideas for learning to manage the world as an empath or highly sensitive person. It’s about not letting self pity or resentment get you down. No tough love guaranteed! We are going to come at this from a sideways angle. I give an example of...
03: What Would You Do? An Empath’s Dilemma
October 23, 2020 10:41 - 11 minutes - 14.6 MBThis short episode focuses on a real life situation that I as an empath had to deal with this summer. Sometimes, when we are looking the other way, we find ourselves putting others’ needs before our own. Listen to this story and ask yourself: What would I do? Get your free Lifesaver 10 list of phrases you can use in tricky situations https://www.theshiftinside.com/lifesaver/
02: What Is A Rebel Empath?
October 23, 2020 10:39 - 21 minutes - 25.8 MBGet your free Lifesaver 10 list of phrases you can use in tricky situations https://www.theshiftinside.com/lifesaver/ How does a Rebel Empath differ from her or his less empowered sibling, the Sorry Empath? The essence of this comes down to being sorry vs unsorry in how you live your life. Unsorry is not about being passive aggressive and trying to get the world to make amends for past hurts. No, it is all about showing up unapologetically and being Ok with your beautifully imperfe...
02: What Is A Rebel Queen Empath?
October 23, 2020 10:39 - 21 minutes - 25.5 MBGet your free Lifesaver 10 list of phrases you can use in tricky situations https://www.theshiftinside.com/lifesaver/ How does a RebelQueen empath differ from her less empowered sister? The essence of this comes down to being sorry vs unsorry in how you live your life. Unsorry is not about being passive aggressive and trying to get the world to make amends for past hurts. No, it is all about showing up unapologetically and being Ok with your beautifully imperfect self. It means o...
01: Trailer
October 23, 2020 10:08 - 2 minutes - 3.59 MBWelcome, my Rebel Queens and Kings! This podcast is your exit visa from people pleasing, from letting others lean on you 24/7, from the overwhelm of being an empath and a highly sensitive person. It’s time to stop apologising for your very existence. I’m Harriet Morris. I’m a coach and an empath. Like you, I’ve given away far too much of myself for too little in return. I’ve let energy vampires suck the life out if me. I too have felt angry AND powerless. I’ve been swamped by emotions...