The Neurodivergent Professor
220 episodes - English - Latest episode: 18 days ago -Thinking outside the box. Embracing your weirdness. Making different great again.
I create content to address issues critical to our personal and collective future on Earth.
Join me in tearing down the walls of conformity, letting our freak flags fly, and normalizing diversity. Doing so will not only allow us to thrive as individuals, it will improve humanity and planet Earth.
More at www.chrisburcher.com
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Episodes
No Free Lunch. KEW Episode 89: Trade-offs
March 18, 2022 09:00 - 22 minutes - 15.7 MBDo you ever think about trade-offs in your life? Something as simple as choosing to have the Doritos knowing they are bad for your body? Or driving over the speed limit knowing you could get a ticket. Or blowing your money on daily lattes knowing one day you may regret not saving more. Trade-offs are a natural part of existence. I learned about them in an ecological or evolutionary sense. Natural selection favors some characteristics in some environments, but not other. Darwin's finches bea...
KEW Episode 88: It Takes a Village
March 11, 2022 10:00 - 22 minutes - 15.3 MBWhere do you stand on the whole 'personal responsibility' issue? I always assumed that I had to take care of my own stuff. I made my choices and had to deal with them. When I had kids, everyone kept telling me, 'it takes a village', and I honestly didn't understand what they were talking about. I guess I've always been a lone wolf - but I don't necessarily like that about myself. So there's like this continuum from 'I am an island' on one end, and 'I live in a global village where everyo...
KEW The Are vs Should Problem Interview Series: Antia Boyd
March 10, 2022 10:00 - 55 minutes - 38.3 MBDo you struggle with relationships? I did for a long time. I went through a divorce in 2010 and that kickstarted an interesting adventure in dating and thinking about companionship in general. Luckily, I met a wonderful woman and remarried. But the five years I spent uncoupled were hard, to say the least. Antia Boyd helps women figure out why they struggle with relationships. Whether you struggle with relationships or not, there is universal learning to be had this week. Antia teaches h...
KEW Episode 87: What Are You Afraid Of?
March 04, 2022 09:00 - 26 minutes - 18.3 MBNot many people like talking about, much less admitting, what they are afraid of. But I have found, in my work and over a decade meeting with therapists and coaches, that fear is a HUGE motivator. It turns out that a lot of our behaviors and beliefs are rooted in fears. In the Internal Family Systems model, we talk about 'parts' of ourselves that are born to reduce these fears. In other modalities we talk about wearing masks, or that other emotions sit on top of the fear - like anger. ...
KEW Episode 86: Mind Control
February 25, 2022 09:00 - 23 minutes - 16.4 MBYou're probably like, 'mind control, what's this guy talking about?' Either he's going to tell us how we need to get in our heads and understand what's going on, or he's going to talk about how the algorithm has us under its spell. It reminds me of this scene from Monsters, Inc (you'll have to go to www.chrisburcher.com to see the clip). This week I'm taking about the first thing. Although I'm a huge an of getting out from under the algorithms, I think that comes about as an artifact of un...
KEW The Are vs Should Problem Interview Series: Pat Schulte and Bumfuzzle
February 24, 2022 10:00 - 1 hour - 46 MBAnalog nomads . . . . . When I decided to focus on the Are vs Should Problem, or the struggle between the person you ARE and the person you feel like you SHOULD BE, I was thinking mostly about the SHOULD part. To me, the issue isn't so much about figuring out who we ARE, it's more about telling the SHOULDs to be quiet. And figuring out how to do that. The AREs are things we want to be, know we are, and find comfort in. The SHOULDs tend to be things we don't necessarily want to do or be...
KEW Episode 85: Journaling and Accountability
February 18, 2022 10:00 - 23 minutes - 16.1 MBQuick show of hands. Who among us has ever been told they should journal? Even though this is a 'should' statement, people who say 'you should journal' mean well. I'll say it, and I mean well. But I'll say it without using the word 'should'. You will benefit from journaling. If that sounds like a money-back guarantee, it's the closest thing you can get for free. But also remember, free advice is worth what you pay for it. Except that journaling is on, like, 100% of all the 'to-do' li...
KEW Episode 84: Mindfulness and Mindset
February 11, 2022 09:00 - 26 minutes - 18.5 MBHave you heard people say that you can't control what happens to you, but you CAN control how you react to what happens to you? It's so true, but it isn't easy. We all want some degree of control in our lives. Or wish for it. Long for it. But control is an illusion. I'm not saying life is 100% chaotic and unpredictable, but being attached to controlling things really only wears you out. I have learned that if I let go of (a little bit of) control my life is more comfortable. And incr...
KEW Episode 83: Awareness, Attention, and Meditation
February 04, 2022 10:00 - 27 minutes - 18.9 MBAre you self aware? We all think we are. Just like we all think we're right, as we learned from Paul Gadola in multiple interviews. And, really, if you are taking the time to wonder whether or not you are self aware, you probably are. Our awareness is one of our greatest strengths. It's a super power. Awareness is how we pay attention to the world around us. It is the currency we use to relate to the world and each other. Awareness is the conduit through which we connect our individual s...
KEW Episode 82: What Do You Need?
January 28, 2022 10:00 - 22 minutes - 15.6 MBWhat DO you need? Have you ever really asked yourself this question? And I don't mean what do you 'sort of what right now to pacify or distract you', I mean what do you REALLY need in your life that you don't have enough of? I, and many of my guests, talk a lot about Values and knowing your 'Why', and knowing what you need is related to those ideas. It amazes me how we THINK we know all this stuff about ourselves, but most of the time we are rushing to find some suitable answer rather tha...
KEW The Are vs Should Interview Series: Emmanuelle Chasse
January 27, 2022 10:00 - 48 minutes - 33.7 MBHave you ever met someone who seems to be doing exactly what they were meant to be doing? I have. And this week I'm sharing our conversation as part of the Are vs Should Problem discussion. Emmanuelle Chasse is a helper. Like many we've interviewed on KEW, she helps people through her writing, podcasting, and coaching. You can find out all about how she can help you here: https://rapidtransformation.ca. Reach out and she can help you make a rapid transformation. It was great to get Emma's...
KEW Episode 81: The Algorithm
January 21, 2022 10:00 - 22 minutes - 15.6 MBIf you have not seen the Social Dilemma, it is a great little conspiracy theory. And one I can get behind. The gist is internet companies (facebook, youtube, etc.) have developed complex algorithms (models, simplifications) that monitor your online (and off, through your phone microphone, alexa, etc.) behavior. These companies then use this information to determine what advertisements you might click on, perpetuating the online economy. If you think about this in capitalistic terms, it's ge...
KEW The Are vs Should Problem Interview Series: Kate Stark
January 20, 2022 10:00 - 1 hour - 49.9 MBAre you a parent? Do you know any parents? Do you think you might ever BE a parent? Do you HAVE parents? Surely you answered yes to at least one of those questions. And, if so, this interview is going to benefit you in many ways. Kate Stark teaches parents to feel better about themselves. And this is a very timely and necessary gift. See the video snippet below to see what I mean. It might be something you need to hear right now. I know it often is for me. Kate has a gift of compassion. A...
KEW Episode 80: Simplicity, Parsimony, and Occam's Razor
January 14, 2022 10:00 - 29 minutes - 20.6 MBThank you for following along as we gear up for the 'how-to' section of the Are vs Should Problem. We spent over 30 Episodes outlining various elements within the Are vs Should Problem. Turns out this fairly universal issue has a lot going on inside. Because I let these Episodes unfold organically, I didn't know what to expect. The same thing is happening as we transition from the 'whats' to the 'how-tos'. In my experience as an academic scientist, I came to rely on a non-traditional appro...
KEW The Are vs Should Interview Series: Stephanie Mitchell
January 13, 2022 10:00 - 1 hour - 49.5 MBIf you follow Knowledge + Experience = Wisdom you will be familiar with IFS. If you are not familiar, Internal Family Systems (IFS) is a psychotherapy model used to heal past trauma. In IFS, we view ourselves as being comprised of 'parts' that resemble siblings in a big family. These parts have taken on roles over time that we continue to implement as they all serve some purpose in our internal 'family'. The process of working with IFS is to help these parts figure out why they do what th...
KEW Episode 79: Less Struggle, More Calm
January 07, 2022 10:00 - 20 minutes - 14.4 MBHave you ever really thought about what you want? I mean really sat down and asked yourself what you would change if you could? Maybe you said you want more money. Less time at work. More time with family. Longer vacations. A bigger house, better car, or fancier smartphone. If you keep at this long enough, and wish for all the material things, what do you REALLY want? When I did this sort of iterative practice, I realized one of the main things I really want is more calm. More calm....
KEW The Are vs Should Interview Series: Gretchen Winterkorn
January 06, 2022 10:00 - 1 hour - 43 MBIf you are interested in therapy and coaching. Either for yourself, someone you love, or just because you think it's cool. Gretchen Winterkorn is a wonderful person for you to meet, and you can check out her short video below. I am very lucky to see some cool people doing these KEW interviews, and I really enjoyed listening TO and talking WITH Gretchen. Relevant to the Are vs Should Problem, Gretchen and her family just simplified their lives in a huge way, moving from NYC to a flower far...
KEW Episode 78: Assumptions and Core Principles
December 31, 2021 10:00 - 31 minutes - 21.8 MBAre you an analytical person? Do you think science is a good way of answering questions? Do you also believe there are things science CAN'T answer? Do you struggle from a mix of pragmatic and spiritual beliefs? Do you consider yourself to be pretty smart? Do you have a strong distrust for the status quo? Have you ever felt like a non-conformist, whether by choice or just because? If you answered any of those questions I think you'll enjoy this episode and KEW in general. My goal is to sh...
KEW The Are vs Should Interview Series: Neil Bjorklund
December 30, 2021 10:00 - 1 hour - 48.5 MBI am extremely excited for you to meet Neil Bjorklund in this week's Are vs Should Interview Series. Unlike most KEW interviews, I knew Neil prior to having him on KEW. But probably not as well as he knows me, as he is my coach. I have worked with Neil for a little over a year, doing somatic healing work using the Internal Family Systems (IFS) model. Neil has all sorts of other training in healing past trauma, improving one's life, and personal growth, but we focus primarily on IFS. I 'dis...
KEW Episode 77: Who is KEW for?
December 24, 2021 10:00 - 29 minutes - 20.1 MBAs you know, we have been exploring the Are vs Should Problem; the struggle between the people we are and the people we feel like we should be. Since Episode 50, but really since about Episode 42, and ARGUABLY since Episode 1 I have been developing the ideas and concepts that load into the Are vs Should modality. I hope you have found some value in these Episodes. And I hope you will journey with me toward the next Phase of this model development In the next Episode or two, I will go thro...
KEW The Are vs Should Interview Series: Bruce Nachsin
December 23, 2021 10:00 - 1 hour - 57.9 MBBruce Nachsin came to us through a podcaster facebook group. He has his own podcast called, 'The Fattest Fit Kid You Know'. He's super funny, a Hollywood actor, and knows a thing or two about living in your 'Are'. It was incredibly fun (and funny!) to sit and talk with Bruce for an hour or so. Besides just being super funny and entertaining, Bruce has a lot to say about podcasting, changing old habits, and helping each other out in this complicated world. Like I told him, my face was red th...
KEW Episode 76: Why Am I?
December 17, 2021 10:00 - 31 minutes - 21.4 MBYou've likely pondered the great, 'Who Am I?' question. But what about the 'Why Am I?' The 'why' is a great question no matter the situation. Of the who, what, when, where, why, and how questions the 'why' is probably the most challenging. Is there a meaning to life? Do you have a purpose? Does anything matter? Hundreds, if not thousands, of philosophers have weighed in on the great question, but I'm not sure there's any consensus. In fact, the 'Why Am I' is probably one of the most s...
KEW The Are vs Should Interview Series: Paul Gadola (Part 2)
December 16, 2021 10:00 - 56 minutes - 39 MBWhat more can I say about Paul Gadola? I'm lucky to know him. I've interviewed him twice for my blog/podcast/YouTube channel. I look at him as someone who has been up the mountain and come back down to share his wisdom with us. I think he'd be a great whatever a pastor/preacher/rabbi is supposed to be. He has written a book you should get from him (because you can't buy one on amazon yet). He's an anti guru anti influencer. He's the kind of guy who is awesome and doesn't care. He'd ...
KEW Episode75: How Do You Tell the Difference?
December 10, 2021 10:00 - 29 minutes - 20.4 MBDo you ever ask yourself this question? I have asked myself this question for as long as I can remember. In fact, I use this argument as a way to justify complaining. It's not a habit I am proud of and I'm working on changing it. But I often find myself getting angry because I can't find a definitive answer to whether something is good or bad or right or wrong. Do you ever get to a point where you truly don't know which option to choose? It's a little bit like Analysis Paralysis, but diffe...
KEW Are vs Should Interview Series: Paul Gadola (Part 1)
December 09, 2021 10:00 - 58 minutes - 39.9 MBI told Paul Gadola recently that he had climbed the mountain and returned to share his wisdom with us. In this two part interview series you'll have a chance to see what I mean. From his background in teaching to his childhood thoughts about becoming a spiritual leader, Paul has a natural way of understanding how to help people. He has a gym to help people's bodies: https://www.ironmountain.fitness He and his wife have a freshly-prepared meals business to help people's health: https://www....
KEW Episode 74: Self-Compassion
December 03, 2021 09:00 - 29 minutes - 20 MBIt's taken me over a decade of therapy and introspection to arrive at this Episode. I don't know what took me so long, but 'getting' self-compassion has been a real struggle for me. In the past few weeks a few things have clicked. First, some Miriam-Webster informed verbiage: Self: ha. dare we even try to define that? Even with the help of the dictionary? Hell, why not (only relevant entries included): 1: an individual's typical character or behavior 2: the union of elements (such as bod...
KEW Are vs Should Interview Series: Paul Levitin
December 02, 2021 09:00 - 57 minutes - 39.5 MBPaul Levitin is an ally. He can help you be better at things. Whether it is your body or your mind, Paul is trained to help improve you. And he won't try to sell you anything you don't need. He recommends that you 'interview' him by listening to his Podcast, 'The Healthy Happy Human' to see if you like his style. I like his approach. I like him. Paul answered my request to talk with people who understand The Are vs Should Problem. Paul had a lot to say about how we 'should all over ourselve...
KEW Episode 73: What is Stress?
November 26, 2021 09:00 - 27 minutes - 19.2 MBAhh, stress, our bestest buddy. Our forever companion. The voice in our head telling us how much we suck. The ticking clock rushing us to work and home every day. Yeah, you know what stress is, but what is it REALLY? And how can it be so many DIFFERENT things? Can you define it if someone asks you? Beyond whatever it is in that particular moment that is bothering you? Like, generally, what is stress? Well, Mirriam-Webster tell us (or we tell each other) that (and these are the definitions...
KEW Are vs Should Interview Series: Dalton Johnson
November 25, 2021 09:00 - 58 minutes - 40.1 MBThis was a really fun interview. I hesitate to say that, because it implies that not all the interview are fun, but I'm saying it anyway. It's kind of like when people say, 'to be honest with you . . . ', because that implies they are sometimes dishonest. But just watch Dalton Johnson talk and you'll see what I mean. His enthusiasm and sense of humor are infectious. And his story is cool. His storieS are cool. And he has a lot to say about the Are vs Should Problem. Not the least of which ...
KEW Episode 72: What is Success?
November 19, 2021 10:00 - 27 minutes - 18.9 MBIf you said 'money' or 'power', you are not alone. Sure, there are lots of different versions of success. Getting a good grade. Getting a raise or a better job. Being invited to a prestigious event. Being revered or treated like a celebrity. But I think we can generally boil down the status quo definition of success to be related to having a lot of money or having a lot of power. Mirriam-Webster tell us: 1 : the fact of getting or achieving wealth, respect, or fame And we could mea...
KEW Are vs Should Interview Series: Dawn Bates
November 18, 2021 10:00 - 54 minutes - 37.4 MBI found Dawn Bates on a podcast interview facebook site. She was looking for podcasts to do interviews and promote her story. She is a coach, an author, and a genuine warrior. She is on a mission to help people in as many ways as she can. I reached out to her to discuss the Are vs Should Problem, and she agreed to weigh in on the subject. I intentionally didn't learn anything about her, and I'm pretty sure she knew nothing about me or my podcast. What you see in this interview is a natura...
KEW Episode 71: Sustainability
November 08, 2021 18:00 - 26 minutes - 18.4 MBFrom the dictionary: 1: able to be used without being completely used up or destroyed sustainable energy resources; a sustainable water supply 2: involving methods that do not completely use up or destroy natural resources sustainable agriculture/farming/techniques 3: able to last or continue for a long time sustainable development/growth Have you ever noticed the hustlers around you? You know, the people working two or three side gigs, driving Uber Eats every evening, and staying incred...
KEW Episode 70: The Great Resignation
November 05, 2021 09:00 - 23 minutes - 16.4 MBHave you heard this phrase yet? In the past few weeks tons of articles have come out that explain the 'Great Resignation' or the 'Big Quit'. According to Wikipedia (yes, it has it's own wiki page) a fella called Anthony Klotz at Texas A&M predicted last May (2021) that people were going to leave the workplace as a result of Covid. And to summarize, very briefly, 'The Great Resignation' is an explanation about the reduced number of people in the workplace during the Covid 19 pandemic. Ok, su...
KEW Episode 69: People Suck at Their Jobs
October 29, 2021 09:00 - 26 minutes - 18 MBAt the risk of sounding pessimistic or negative I am sharing my thoughts about a topic near and dear to me. More often than no, I believe people suck at their jobs. I don't think this suckage is always intentional and I do not believe people WANT to suck at their jobs. I am not here to blame individuals for their suckage nor to suggest this is necessarily related to the individuals. My point here is to suggest that there is a problem with the SYSTEM of employment, work, the market, whatever...
KEW Episode 68: Accountability
October 22, 2021 09:00 - 26 minutes - 18.3 MBDoes this bother you? You interact with someone at their job, maybe getting a coffee or something. The server is rude, obnoxious, entitled, and unhelpful. Maybe they're even condescending toward you. You may or may not say anything, but, hey, you want your coffee. Maybe you think about it later, but at some point it occurs to you that they were not good at their job in that moment. Maybe it was an isolated event, maybe it was the norm. But what gets me, and maybe you, too, is that they wer...
KEW Episode 67: Authenticity
October 15, 2021 09:00 - 25 minutes - 17.3 MBDefinition of authentic (Taken from Merriam-Webster) 1 a: worthy of acceptance or belief as conforming to or based on fact paints an authentic picture of our society b: conforming to an original so as to reproduce essential features an authentic reproduction of a colonial farmhouse c: made or done the same way as an original authentic Mexican fare 2: not false or imitation: REAL, ACTUALan authentic cockney accent 3: true to one's own personality, spirit, or character is sincere and auth...
KEW Episode 66: Clarity
October 08, 2021 09:00 - 24 minutes - 16.9 MBRemember that time when everything seemed perfectly clear? Yeah, me neither. But once in awhile things DO seem clear. And it feels good. There's no doubt (Episode 28) and things just make sense. Though these moments are fleeting, I think we can learn to maximize the amount of clarity we see in our lives. And by clarity I mean more the ABSENCE of stuff rather than the PRESENCE of something. Clarity, to me, is really just a lack of noice. A lack of disturbance. A lack of . . . . . conflict...
KEW Episode 65: How Do We Know if We Really Know What We Think We Know?
October 01, 2021 09:00 - 27 minutes - 18.9 MBTo some, this is a ridiculous question steeped in pointless naval gazing. To others, it's a comedic take on people who ask the 'big questions'. To others this is a reasonable assessment of what we want to understand. To me, it's all three at the same time. And maybe that's the point. And like most rhetorical questions, I don't really want to KNOW if I really know what I think I know. Rather, I'm curious about how this questions makes one think a few steps ahead. It's not about what we know....
KEW Episode 64: The Forest for the Trees
September 24, 2021 09:00 - 24 minutes - 17 MBI'm using the Forest for the Trees metaphor to suggest that humans have become exceptionally myopic. The only reason I know what myopic means is because after defending my Master's Thesis a professor proclaimed that I was very myopic - meaning I had a terribly narrow view of the question I had asked and answered. I thought I was being pretty broad and was a bit hurt by his statement, but I also understood his point. I could have taken a 'bigger picture' approach, but by the time I realized t...
KEW Episode 63: The Two Types of Shoulds
September 17, 2021 09:00 - 25 minutes - 17.7 MBI recorded this episode after replying to a YouTube comment about good and bad types of change (Episode 61: Change is Hard, but Resisting Change is Wrong). The commenter made a good point that sometimes we change in a bad direction instead of making a positive change. I agreed but in doing so realized I had a bigger point buried under that. Perhaps another assumption I had failed to realize or express. Which is that I believe the Are motivation is essentially driving GOOD change, and that m...
KEW Episode 62: Change (cont)
September 10, 2021 09:00 - 20 minutes - 13.9 MBApparently I didn't say quite enough about change in last weeks' Episode 62: Change is Hard, but Resisting Change is WRONG! because when I say down to record this weeks' Episode I just kept talking about CHANGE. Change. It's the one thing we can count on. Since the Big Bang, the universe has been changing. Changing forms. Changing states. Changing composition. All around us, change is driving the universe. The Earth. Our behavior. The seasons. . . . Yet, many of us resist change. We don...
KEW Episode 61: Change is Hard, but Resisting Change is WRONG
September 03, 2021 09:00 - 24 minutes - 16.6 MBIn the next few videos I focus on CHANGE. I have covered changing old beliefs, changing the way you think, changing your habits. But it wasn't until Episode 47: Changing Behavior Changes Beliefs that I actually started to realize how critical CHANGE is. Change is the key. The main element. The obvious, yet hidden mechanism of life. One of my chief assumptions is that we we are vehicles for, or at least highly influenced by, our DNA. And change is what our DNA was designed to do. In Ep...
KEW Episode 60: The Are vs Should Problem - Jobs and Careers
August 27, 2021 09:00 - 27 minutes - 18.8 MBWhen I was a teenager I realized I would be working for the rest of my life. This hit me like a ton of bricks. This realization LITERALLY left me feeling like I had fallen out of a tree and couldn't catch my breath. Though I'd experienced physical pain by this point in my life, fully coming to understand that I was going to have to spend a significant part of my life doing things I didn't want to do was disturbing. And it wasn't so much that I had to WORK. I didn't mind working. I had my fi...
KEW Episode 59: Are vs Should Challenges
August 20, 2021 09:00 - 25 minutes - 17.3 MBDepending on how you define 'uncomfortable', 100-200 million people worldwide can't meet their basic needs. Folks are born into societies and cultures where they are doomed to fail. Millions of people on this planet will live their entire lives worried about dying, finding food, or having a safe place to sleep. These are enormously huge problems that I truly don't understand. Nor do I understand how complicated the solutions are. But I do believe one thing: if we wanted to solve these probl...
KEW Episode 58: Fix the Broken System
August 13, 2021 09:00 - 24 minutes - 16.8 MBIn this episode I cover two main points: Millions of people have no interest in the Are vs Should Problem because they can't meet their basic human needs for things like food, clean water, and safe shelter. These problems can only be fixed if we live more in the Are and less in the Should. There are no two ways about it, I believe that we need to be more Are, and less Should. I am even starting to believe that the world's biggest problems can only be solved by people who realize their ful...
KEW Episode 57: Multiple Personalities
August 06, 2021 09:00 - 26 minutes - 18.1 MBInside each of us are several characters. These parts are all 'us', but they are distinct from one another. What distinguishes these parts is the roles they play in managing our lives. We are, at the same time, the nice guy, the responsible gal, the tactful them. We play many roles in different aspects of our lives. At work we are cordial and diligent. In bed we are adventurous and raw. As athletes we are courageous and assertive. These different roles help us achieve different goals and hel...
KEW Episode 56: Domestication
July 30, 2021 12:00 - 27 minutes - 19.1 MBDon Miguel Ruiz, author of many books including 'The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom (A Toltec Wisdom Book)' uses the term "Domestication" to describe the process by which humans are taught how to live. I have been fascinated by this process, whatever you wish to call it, for as long as I can remember. In fact, I still wonder, often out loud, why no one ever asked whether or not I was agreeing to this social contract. See, we are born into a world that teaches us many ...
KEW Episode 55: The Bully and the DNA: Part 2
July 23, 2021 10:00 - 24 minutes - 16.9 MBIn this second part of the Bully vs your DNA miniseries I describe the DNA part. I will make the argument here, which is a fundamental element of my future work on the Are vs Should Problem, that it is our birthright to express our DNA as fully as possible. I hope you enjoy. For many years I have heard things like, 'Follow your passion!' or, 'if you do what you love you'll never work a day in your life!'. And while I want to love these sentiments, I can't get passed the 'woo-woo' or idealis...
KEW Episode 54: The Bully and your DNA: Part 1
July 16, 2021 10:00 - 26 minutes - 18.4 MBLast week I introduced a few examples of the Are vs. Should problem. One of the most obvious examples comes up when we think about our careers. When we're young people ask us what we want to be when we grow up. As adults, many of us wonder what became of those childhood dreams when we find ourselves doing jobs we don't like. And I'll argue it's because we listen more to our Shoulds than to our Ares. And this isn't to say that Shoulds are all bad, because I think their intent is honorable. O...
KEW Episode 53: Are vs. Should Examples
July 09, 2021 10:00 - 26 minutes - 17.9 MBAs we move forward trying to discern the gist of the Are vs. Should Problem, I want to describe both the general dilemma and share a few specific examples. Generally speaking, you know you are in the Are vs. Should Problem when you experience discomfort, cognitive dissonance, anxiety, fear, anger, and other uncomfortable emotions. Of course, there could be many causes for these states of mind and it's ALWAYS hard to identify the cause. It's like when my kids get sick I always want to know wh...