Green Blooded Bastard's Movie Commentary Podcast
759 episodes - English - Latest episode: 18 days ago - ★★★★★ - 1 ratingThe Green Blooded Bastard podcasts primarily feature movie commentaries. While they do not cure cancer or offer profound insights into filmmaking, they may provide a touch of humor, and be warned; I swear a lot. In addition to the free weekly movie episodes, I occasionally post side podcasts on the main feed. These include a Star Trek-focused show titled The Bastard Boldly Goes, a Battlestar Galactica series called Fat Apollo is Life, a Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman commentary known as The Bastard V Lois & Clark, an ALF-themed podcast I Am, Therefore I Watch Alf, and an Ash vs Evil Dead show named Ash vs Evil Dead vs The Bastard. Sometimes, I write bad poetry, create chaos art, and am generally emo.
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Episodes
Green Blooded Bastard - It (2017)
September 22, 2019 21:08 - 2 hours - 60.7 MBThe one where Green Blooded Bastard watches It (2017). This movie is about an extra-dimensional spider alien creature thingy based on the awesome book! This first part stuff is pretty solid and holds up ok so I figured I'd say shit about it and sound stupid and shit.
I Am, Therefore I Watch Alf - S04E05 (Mind Games)
September 17, 2019 17:00 - 22 minutes - 10.6 MBHey, ALFheads this is another episode of my new side podcast I Am, Therefore I Watch Alf! This episode is for S04E05 (Mind Games).
Green Blooded Bastard- Tremors 2: Aftershocks
September 15, 2019 20:56 - 1 hour - 45.1 MBThe one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Tremors 2: Aftershocks. Kevin Bacon still has a big cock but isn't in this fucking movie!
Green Blooded Bastard - Friday The 13th Part 7: The New Blood
September 13, 2019 09:30 - 1 hour - 39.9 MBThe one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Friday The 13th Part 7: The New Blood. This movie is fucked up, but after the last one, they had to do something. Haha, there is some fun stuff in here, but not as much as I'd like.
I Am, Therefore I Watch Alf - S04E04 (We're in the Money)
September 10, 2019 17:00 - 21 minutes - 10 MBHey, ALFheads this is another episode of my new side podcast I Am, Therefore I Watch Alf! This episode is for S04E04 (We're in the Money).
Green Blooded Bastard - Murder Mystery
September 08, 2019 20:00 - 1 hour - 41.1 MBThe one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Murder Mystery. Not a great movie, but it was a hell of a better than most of the shit that he has put out in the last decade. A bit of a waste on the concept, but still funny at times.
I Am, Therefore I Watch Alf - S04E03 (Wanted: Dead or Alive)
September 03, 2019 17:00 - 22 minutes - 10.2 MBHey, ALFheads this is another episode of my new side podcast I Am, Therefore I Watch Alf! This episode is for S04E03 (Wanted: Dead or Alive).
Green Blooded Bastard - Lego Marvel Super Heroes - Guardians of the Galaxy: The Thanos Threat
September 01, 2019 19:00 - 23 minutes - 10.8 MBThe one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Lego Marvel Super Heroes - Guardians of the Galaxy: The Thanos Threat. Yeah this fucking happened.
I Am, Therefore I Watch Alf - S04E02 (Lies)
August 27, 2019 17:00 - 21 minutes - 10.2 MBHey, ALFheads this is another episode of my new side podcast I Am, Therefore I Watch Alf! This episode is for S04E02 (Lies).
Green Blooded Bastard - Tremors
August 25, 2019 13:59 - 1 hour - 43.4 MBThe one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Tremors. Kevin Bacon has a big cock and isn't afraid to use it when it's time to dance! So dance fucker dance!
I Am, Therefore I Watch Alf - S04E01 (Baby Come Back)
August 20, 2019 17:00 - 23 minutes - 10.7 MBHey, ALFheads this is another episode of my new side podcast I Am, Therefore I Watch Alf! This episode is for S04E01(Baby Come Back).
Green Blooded Bastard - The Babysitter
August 18, 2019 21:36 - 1 hour - 37.9 MBThe one where Green Blooded Bastard watches The Babysitter. This movie is about a little pussy boy who has a hot baby sitter because he is a little bitch. He gets bullied and Bella Thorne is in here and the baby sitter might blow this kid so keep watching and shit. Also, it turns out they are making a fucking sequel!?!
I Am, Therefore I Watch Alf - S03E26 (Having My Baby)
August 13, 2019 17:00 - 22 minutes - 10.3 MBHey, ALFheads this is another episode of my new side podcast I Am, Therefore I Watch Alf! This episode is for S03E26 (Having My Baby).
Green Blooded Bastard - Constantine: City Of Demons
August 11, 2019 20:00 - 1 hour - 40.9 MBThe one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Constantine: City Of Demons. In this movie, Constantine gets shot, stabbed, punched and tends to fail quite a bit... fuck it, Constantine! It's a lot like the comic and pretty good so watch it and read it and send me brownies!
I Am, Therefore I Watch Alf - S03E25 (Shake, Rattle & Roll)
August 06, 2019 17:00 - 21 minutes - 10 MBHey, ALFheads this is another episode of my new side podcast I Am, Therefore I Watch Alf! This episode is for S03E25 (Shake, Rattle & Roll).
Green Blooded Bastard - Bright
August 05, 2019 00:43 - 1 hour - 52 MBThe one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Bright. This movie is a fairly average movie that just came out at some point on Netflix. There are Lions and Bears and Orcs or some shit. fml son.
I Am, Therefore I Watch Alf - S03E24 (Like an Old Time Movie)
July 30, 2019 17:00 - 21 minutes - 10.1 MBHey, ALFheads this is another episode of my new side podcast I Am, Therefore I Watch Alf! This episode is for S03E24 (Like an Old Time Movie).
Green Blooded Bastard - Final Destination
July 28, 2019 20:30 - 1 hour - 43.6 MBThe one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Final Destination. This movie is about a dude that freaks the fuck out and pisses off death. That is just the beginning and shit goes fucking nuts! Tony Todd bitches!
I Am, Therefore I Watch Alf - S03E23 (Have You Seen Your Mother, Baby, Standing in the Shadow?)
July 23, 2019 17:00 - 21 minutes - 10.1 MBHey, ALFheads this is another episode of my new side podcast I Am, Therefore I Watch Alf! This episode is for S03E23 (Have You Seen Your Mother, Baby, Standing in the Shadow?).
Green Blooded Bastard - Teen Titans GO! to the Movies
July 21, 2019 19:30 - 1 hour - 36.7 MBThe one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Teen Titans GO! to the Movies. This movie is what the Suicide Squad could have been if it were animated and good! haha
I Am, Therefore I Watch Alf - S03E22 (Don't Be Afraid of the Dark)
July 16, 2019 17:00 - 22 minutes - 10.2 MBHey ALFheads this is the another episode of my new side podcast I Am, Therefore I Watch Alf! This episode is for S03E22 (Don't Be Afraid of the Dark).
Green Blooded Bastard - Underworld: Awakening
July 14, 2019 19:30 - 1 hour - 37.1 MBThe one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Underworld: Awakening. In this movie Kate Beckinsale is wearing tight black clothing again and ready to fuck you or kill you because... Michael! New hybrids!?!?! fml.
I Am, Therefore I Watch Alf - S03E21 (Funeral for a Friend)
July 09, 2019 17:00 - 21 minutes - 10 MBHey ALFheads this is the another episode of my new side podcast I Am, Therefore I Watch Alf! This episode is for S03E21 (Funeral for a Friend).
Green Blooded Bastard - Hardcore Henry
July 07, 2019 20:00 - 1 hour - 42.1 MBThe one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Hardcore Henry. This movie is about a man named Hardcore Henry and he will still fuck you up and spit you out!
I Am, Therefore I Watch Alf - S03E20 (Torn Between Two Lovers)
July 02, 2019 17:00 - 21 minutes - 10.1 MBHey ALFheads this is the another episode of my new side podcast I Am, Therefore I Watch Alf! This episode is for S03E20 (Torn Between Two Lovers).
Green Blooded Bastard - Steve Jobs
June 30, 2019 19:30 - 1 hour - 55.2 MBThe one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Steve Jobs. This movie is about a guy named Steve Jobs and ffs he will fuck you up and your wife too if you don't buy his products. Michael motha fucking Fassbender and his big dick are ready to fuck! Show Note: I was extremely tired and didn't even say half the thoughts that I have about this movie. Lameo, but I may do a redux of this episodes and a few others.
I Am, Therefore I Watch Alf - S03E19 (Superstition)
June 25, 2019 17:00 - 20 minutes - 9.62 MBHey ALFheads this is the another episode of my new side podcast I Am, Therefore I Watch Alf! This episode is for S03E19 (Superstition).
Green Blooded Bastard - Lego Marvel Super Heroes - Black Panther: Trouble in Wakanda
June 23, 2019 19:00 - 23 minutes - 10.7 MBThe one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Lego Marvel Super Heroes - Black Panther: Trouble in Wakanda. Yeah this fucking happened again! Who the fuck names these damn movies?!?!
I Am, Therefore I Watch Alf - S03E18 (Standing in the Shadows of Love)
June 18, 2019 17:00 - 22 minutes - 10.4 MBHey ALFheads this is the another episode of my new side podcast I Am, Therefore I Watch Alf! This episode is for S03E18 (Standing in the Shadows of Love).
Green Blooded Bastard - Jeepers Creepers
June 16, 2019 19:00 - 1 hour - 40.3 MBThe one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Jeepers Creepers. This is a movie wherein humans are in denial of the truth... that Jeepers Creepers is real and he'll fuck you up! Especially if you're a dude with your shirt off because the director is a creepy fucker. seriously look it up.
The Bastard Boldly Goes - ST:TNG S1E1 - Encounter At Farpoint: Parts 1 & 2
June 12, 2019 23:30 - 1 hour - 31.4 MBHey dudes this is another episode of my side podcast The Bastard Boldly Goes! This episode is for ST:TNG S1E1 - Encounter At Farpoint: Parts 1 & 2
I Am, Therefore I Watch Alf - S03E17 (Running Scared)
June 11, 2019 17:00 - 21 minutes - 10.1 MBHey ALFheads this is the another episode of my new side podcast I Am, Therefore I Watch Alf! This episode is for S03E17 (Running Scared).
Green Blooded Bastard - Underworld: Rise Of The Lycans
June 09, 2019 21:30 - 1 hour - 38.9 MBThe one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Underworld: Rise Of The Lycans. In this movie Kate Beckinsale is not a smooth talking computer Death Dealer from gothic somewhere or fuck where they not only blow whistles, but also blow minds and kill werewolves part 2 with hybrids! fml.
I Am, Therefore I Watch Alf - S03E16 (Baby Love)
June 04, 2019 17:00 - 22 minutes - 10.6 MBHey ALFheads this is the another episode of my new side podcast I Am, Therefore I Watch Alf! This episode is for S03E16 (Baby Love).
Green Blooded Bastard - Chocolate (Masters Of Horror S1E5)
June 02, 2019 19:30 - 1 hour - 20.6 MBThe one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Chocolate (Masters Of Horror S1E5). I'm gonna watch all the mini films in this whole series and this is the 5th episode!
I Am, Therefore I Watch Alf - S03E15 (Suspicious Minds)
May 28, 2019 17:00 - 22 minutes - 10.5 MBHey ALFheads this is the another episode of my new side podcast I Am, Therefore I Watch Alf! This episode is for S03E15 (Suspicious Minds).
Green Blooded Bastard - Honey, We Shrunk Ourselves
May 26, 2019 19:00 - 1 hour - 25 MBThe one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Honey, We Shrunk Ourselves. In this film Rick Moranis still has a huge cock... a huge cock, but this time gets fucking shrunk!
I Am, Therefore I Watch Alf - S03E14 (Fight Back)
May 21, 2019 17:00 - 21 minutes - 10.2 MBHey ALFheads this is the another episode of my new side podcast I Am, Therefore I Watch Alf! This episode is for S03E14 (Fight Back).
Green Blooded Bastard - The Belko Experiment
May 19, 2019 18:30 - 1 hour - 29.2 MBThe one where Green Blooded Bastard watches The Belko Experiment. This is a movie wherein humans are zinging one liners while fighting other to humans... some fucking fucked up shit happens or whatever the fuck in back water wherever the fuck!
I Am, Therefore I Watch Alf - S03E13 (Hide Away)
May 14, 2019 17:00 - 21 minutes - 10.1 MBHey ALFheads this is the another episode of my new side podcast I Am, Therefore I Watch Alf! This episode is for S03E13 (Hide Away).
Green Blooded Bastard - Bullet To The Head
May 12, 2019 19:00 - 1 hour - 30.6 MBThe one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Bullet To The Head. This is a movie where Stallone puts a bullet to your fucking head for an hour to fucking long long. Plus fucking Han.
I Am, Therefore I Watch Alf - S03E12 (Do You Believe in Magic?)
May 07, 2019 17:00 - 21 minutes - 10.1 MBHey ALFheads this is the another episode of my new side podcast I Am, Therefore I Watch Alf! This episode is for S03E12 (Do You Believe in Magic?).
Green Blooded Bastard - Predestination
May 05, 2019 19:00 - 1 hour - 42.8 MBThe one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Predestination. In this movie dude is a smooth talking time traveler who travels through time and mind fucks a dude that used to be a chick and gets him to go back in time and seduce his female self and makes a baby that is also him and the dude who is the time traveler is also the the baby/girl/dude/time traveler dude!
I Am, Therefore I Watch Alf - S03E11 (Alone Again, Naturally)
April 30, 2019 17:00 - 19 minutes - 9.04 MBHey ALFheads this is the another episode of my new side podcast I Am, Therefore I Watch Alf! This episode is for S03E11 (Alone Again, Naturally).
Green Blooded Bastard - Underworld: Evolution
April 28, 2019 20:30 - 1 hour - 34.1 MBThe one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Underworld: Evolution. In this movie Kate Beckinsale is a smooth talking computer Death Dealer from gothic somewhere or fuck where they not only blow whistles, but also blow minds and kill werewolves part 2 with hybrids! fml.
The Bastard Boldly Goes - ST:DS9 S4E1&2 - The Way Of The Warrior: Parts 1 & 2
April 25, 2019 01:30 - 1 hour - 32.2 MBHey dudes this is another episode of my side podcast The Bastard Boldly Goes! This episode is for ST:DS9 S4E1&2 - The Way Of The Warrior: Parts 1 & 2
I Am, Therefore I Watch Alf - S03E10 (My Back Pages)
April 23, 2019 17:00 - 21 minutes - 10 MBHey ALFheads this is the another episode of my new side podcast I Am, Therefore I Watch Alf! This episode is for S03E10 (My Back Pages).
Green Blooded Bastard - LEGO DC Super Heroes: Justice League - Attack Of The Legion Of Doom!
April 21, 2019 20:00 - 1 hour - 26.1 MBThe one where Green Blooded Bastard watches LEGO DC Super Heroes: Justice League - Attack Of The Legion Of Doom! wherein Batman is still a dick, but there are bigger dicks abound. Something about rusted metal man!
I Am, Therefore I Watch Alf - S03E09 (Changes)
April 16, 2019 17:00 - 21 minutes - 10.1 MBHey ALFheads this is the another episode of my new side podcast I Am, Therefore I Watch Alf! This episode is for S03E09 (Changes).
Green Blooded Bastard - Avengers Grimm: Time Wars
April 14, 2019 19:30 - 1 hour - 29.5 MBThe one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Avengers Grimm: Time Wars. This movie is not that worse than the first one and that was a relatively bad movie, but the podcast is fucking worse! Sorry folks. Get your pills and booze and strap in for this pile of shit(the podcast)! I'm fairly certain that i passed out for 15 mins and have no idea what i was saying.