Green Blooded Bastard's Movie Commentary Podcast

754 episodes - English - Latest episode: 13 days ago - ★★★★★ - 1 rating

The Green Blooded Bastard podcasts primarily feature movie commentaries. While they do not cure cancer or offer profound insights into filmmaking, they may provide a touch of humor, and be warned; I swear a lot. In addition to the free weekly movie episodes, I occasionally post side podcasts on the main feed. These include a Star Trek-focused show titled The Bastard Boldly Goes, a Battlestar Galactica series called Fat Apollo is Life, a Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman commentary known as The Bastard V Lois & Clark, an ALF-themed podcast I Am, Therefore I Watch Alf, and an Ash vs Evil Dead show named Ash vs Evil Dead vs The Bastard. Sometimes, I write bad poetry, create chaos art, and am generally emo.

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Episodes

The Bastard Boldly Goes - ST:TOS Pilot - The Cage

September 27, 2017 20:30 - 1 hour - 29.7 MB

Hey dudes here is another episode of my side podcast The Bastard Boldly Goes! This episode is for ST:TOS Pilot - The Cage

Green Blooded Bastard - Teen Wolf

September 24, 2017 19:00 - 1 hour - 31 MB

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Teen Wolf. This movie is a quickly great fucking 80s movie about coming of age, underage drinking and basket ball! Fuck yeah son.

Green Blooded Bastard - Blair Witch

September 17, 2017 20:00 - 1 hour - 27.6 MB

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Blair Witch. This movie is about a guy named Blair and his sister is a Witch and none of that was true.

Green Blooded Bastard - Lego DC Comics Super Heroes: Justice League vs. Bizarro League

September 10, 2017 18:00 - 47 minutes - 21.8 MB

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Lego DC Comics Super Heroes: Justice League vs. Bizarro League. WTF?!?! haha

Green Blooded Bastard - The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey (Extended Edition)

September 03, 2017 19:00 - 2 hours - 59.8 MB

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey (Extended Edition). This movie is about a guy named The Hobbit that somehow saves the day after bungling it up like a mother fucker!

Green Blooded Bastard - Mortdecai

August 27, 2017 20:00 - 1 hour - 45.6 MB

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Mortdecai. This movie is about a guy named Mortdecai that somehow saves the day after bungling it up like a mother fucker!

The Bastard Boldly Goes - ST:DS9 S1E3 - Past Prologue

August 23, 2017 20:30 - 45 minutes - 21.3 MB

Hey dudes here is another episode of my side podcast The Bastard Boldly Goes! This episode is for ST:DS9 S1E3 - Past Prologue.

Green Blooded Bastard - Lethal Weapon 2 (Director's Cut)

August 20, 2017 19:30 - 1 hour - 52.9 MB

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Lethal Weapon 2 (Director's Cut). This movie is about a guy named Lethal Weapon and he will still fuck you up and your wife too. Danny motha fucking Glover mother fucker!

Green Blooded Bastard - Fast & Furious

August 13, 2017 20:00 - 1 hour - 46.9 MB

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Fast & Furious. This shit film is about some jackwad that can't run for shit and has trouble pissing while standing up... YOU KNOW HIS NAME! This is a fairly boring film that had a few big scenes that revived a franchise and lead to the best of the series... Fast Five.

Green Blooded Bastard - Los Bandoleros

August 10, 2017 20:30 - 19 minutes - 6.82 MB

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Los Bandoleros. This short film is about some jackwad that can't run for shit and has trouble pissing while standing up. This is a prequel to Fast & Furious.

Green Blooded Bastard - Battlestar Galactica: The Miniseries Part 2

August 06, 2017 19:00 - 1 hour - 41.6 MB

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Battlestar Galactica: The Miniseries Part 2. This is the second part of a miniseries that revitalized scifi and storytelling and turned a cult classic television show into a classic.

Green Blooded Bastard - Battlestar Galactica: The Miniseries Part 1

July 30, 2017 18:30 - 1 hour - 44.1 MB

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Battlestar Galactica: The Miniseries Part 1. This is the first part of a miniseries that revitalized scifi and storytelling and turned a cult classic television show into a classic.

The Bastard Boldly Goes - ST:ENT S1E1 - Broken Bow: Parts 1 & 2

July 26, 2017 21:00 - 1 hour - 40.3 MB

Hey dudes this is another episode of my side podcast The Bastard Boldly Goes! This episode is for ST:ENT S1E - Broken Bow: Parts 1 & 2.

Green Blooded Bastard - Bad Boys 2

July 23, 2017 17:00 - 2 hours - 65 MB

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Bad Boys 2. This is another movie about two cops that just happen to also be Bad Boys... again!

Green Blooded Bastard - Wes Craven Presents: Dracula 2000

July 16, 2017 20:30 - 1 hour - 44 MB

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Wes Craven Presents: Dracula 2000. This movie is about a guy named Dracula 2000 and it's fucking garbage! Seriously this movie sucks and isn't even fun. ***NOTES*** the HBO app was working for shit again and kept buffering so by the time this episode is over it's probably about 20 secs out of sync. i also feel like i might have passed out a few times while watching this. #sorrynotsorry

Green Blooded Bastard - Transporter 2

July 09, 2017 19:00 - 1 hour - 38 MB

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches The Transporter 2. This is another movie about a guy named Transporter... um Frank Martin who drives cars and delivers shit unless you abduct the kid that he's supposed to be keeping safe... then watch yourself son. British 'Murica and Matthew Modine!

Green Blooded Bastard - The LEGO Batman Movie

July 02, 2017 16:09 - 1 hour - 45.2 MB

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches The LEGO Batman Movie. This movie is a surprisingly well made, nicely made film. The jokes were a nice balance for all ages and fan types. enjoy it my peeps.

Green Blooded Bastard - Superman 3

June 25, 2017 17:00 - 2 hours - 57.1 MB

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Superman 3. In this movie Blackman has to save Superman's ass from fake Lex's robot computer thingy! It's a fun movie, but way too long.

Green Blooded Bastard - Broken Arrow

June 18, 2017 18:48 - 1 hour - 47.8 MB

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Broken Arrow. This movie is about a guy named Broken Arrow who meets up with some strange fucking dudes that steal some nukes and he fucking save the day.

Green Blooded Bastard - The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift

June 11, 2017 17:00 - 1 hour - 45.9 MB

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift. This movie is about some small dicked fuck head that crashes after a stupid race with the oldest brother from Home Improvement and has to go to Japan because that makes sense. Han dies... The End?

Green Blooded Bastard - The Naked Gun: From The Files Of Police Squad

June 04, 2017 17:00 - 1 hour - 38.3 MB

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches The Naked Gun: From The Files Of Police Squad. This movie is about a large cocked fuckwad copper that is out of his mind and somehow still saves the day bitches!

Green Blooded Bastard - Fantastic Beasts And Where To Find Them

May 28, 2017 19:00 - 2 hours - 58.5 MB

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Fantastic Beasts And Where To Find Them. This movie is about a polite and friendly hippy that has lots of fucking critters in his suitcase and shit goes crazy.

The Bastard Boldly Goes - ST:TNG S1E24 - Conspiracy

May 24, 2017 20:00 - 45 minutes - 21.3 MB

Hey dudes here is another episode of my side podcast The Bastard Boldly Goes! This episode is for TNG S1E24 - Conspiracy.

Green Blooded Bastard - 21 Jump Street

May 21, 2017 18:00 - 1 hour - 48.6 MB

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches 21 Jump Street. This movie is about a two fuckwad copper that can't shit standing up so they get sent back to school! Well school is out for summer bitches!

Green Blooded Bastard - The Secret Life Of Pets

May 14, 2017 17:00 - 1 hour - 37.3 MB

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches The Secret Life Of Pets. In this movie the pets rise up and get into shenanigans and all is well just as the humans get home.

Green Blooded Bastard - Guardians Of The Galaxy

May 07, 2017 16:14 - 1 hour - 53.5 MB

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Guardians Of The Galaxy. This movie is about a guy named Star Lord who had a above average cock, but nothing gaudy or whatev. He meets up with some strange fucking p33ps and they fucking save the day. Also Thanos and shit.

Green Blooded Bastard - Major League

April 30, 2017 19:00 - 1 hour - 47.3 MB

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Major League. This film is a comedic look at baseball and is funny. haha

The Bastard Boldly Goes - ST:TOS S1E17 - The Galileo Seven

April 26, 2017 22:00 - 50 minutes - 23.4 MB

Hey dudes here is another episode of my side podcast The Bastard Boldly Goes! This episode is for TOS S1E17 - The Galileo Seven.

Green Blooded Bastard - Batman Unlimited: Mechs vs. Mutants

April 23, 2017 17:00 - 1 hour - 35.1 MB

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Batman Unlimited: Mechs vs. Mutants. In this movie the Batman and Robin 5.0 fight giant ass fucking villains like maniacs on meth!

Green Blooded Bastard - The Passion Of The Christ

April 16, 2017 18:00 - 2 hours - 56.2 MB

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches The Passion Of The Christ. This movie is about a polite and friendly hippy that gets fucked up by some small cocked assholes!

Green Blooded Bastard - Iron Man & Captain America: Heroes United

April 09, 2017 19:00 - 1 hour - 31.7 MB

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Iron Man & Captain America: Heroes United. In this movie Iron Man & Captain America are heroes and unite and fight the Red Skull and a bunch of uber men!

Green Blooded Bastard - Problem Child

April 02, 2017 16:19 - 1 hour - 35.9 MB

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Problem Child. This movie is about a little fucking prick kid that shows why children are bastards just like you and I!

The Bastard Boldly Goes - ST:VOY- Caretaker: Parts 1 & 2

March 29, 2017 17:00 - 1 hour - 31.7 MB

Hey dudes this is the first episode of my side podcast The Bastard Boldly Goes! This episode is for ST:VOY- Caretaker: Parts 1 & 2.

Green Blooded Bastard - Friday The 13th

March 26, 2017 17:00 - 1 hour - 43.6 MB

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Friday The 13th. This movie is a game changer of sorts that spawned a mega horror franchise!

Green Blooded Bastard - The Turbo-Charged Prelude for 2 Fast 2 Furious

March 23, 2017 21:42 - 7 minutes - 3.53 MB

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches The Turbo-Charged Prelude for 2 Fast 2 Furious. This mini movie is about some small dicked fuck heads that drive across country because that's what rebel outlaws do or someshit?

Green Blooded Bastard - Lethal Weapon (Director's Cut)

March 19, 2017 19:00 - 1 hour - 53.5 MB

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Lethal Weapon. This movie is about a guy named Lethal Weapon and he will fuck you up son. Danny fucking Glover mother fucker!

Green Blooded Bastard - The Devil's Rejects

March 12, 2017 19:00 - 1 hour - 49 MB

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches The Devil's Rejects. This film took the life out me literally. I passed out at least 2 times while watching this fucking shit pants film. I give up.

Green Blooded Bastard - Planet Of The Apes (2001)

March 05, 2017 15:19 - 1 hour - 53.1 MB

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Planet Of The Apes (2001). This movie is a remake of a classic film and beloved film franchise. It's a fucked up bleh fest and shit. haha

Green Blooded Bastard - Olympus Has Fallen

February 26, 2017 23:01 - 1 hour - 52.2 MB

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Olympus Has Fallen. This movie is a pure fucking ass pounding in the name of freedom times 10! Ahaha this shit is dope and shit son. Go watch this fucking movie!

Green Blooded Bastard - Alien vs. Predator: Requiem

February 19, 2017 22:43 - 1 hour - 41 MB

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Alien vs. Predator: Requiem. Aliens + Predators + Requiem = this fucking movie. kill me now please.

Green Blooded Bastard - South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut

February 12, 2017 20:22 - 1 hour - 36 MB

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut. There are 3 facts in life: big cocks are what women want, longer cocks are better and uncut ones make women feel like silver dollar pancakes! I don't know what the fuck this means. haha

Green Blooded Bastard - XXX

February 05, 2017 21:37 - 1 hour - 53.1 MB

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches XXX! This movie is about a donkey dicked bastard that will fuck your butt just to save the world! He also does stunts and shit.

Green Blooded Bastard - House of 1,000 Corpses

January 29, 2017 18:30 - 1 hour - 39.8 MB

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches House of 1,000 Corpses. This film took years to come out and is probably one of the more watchable Rob Zombie films for me. Still not great, but enjoyable for the retro horror feel before the hellbilly took over.

Green Blooded Bastard - The Night Before

January 22, 2017 19:00 - 1 hour - 44.9 MB

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches The Night Before. So I never even knew this movie existed until like 2 months ago. I now watched it and enjoyed it well enough. Go give it a look son.

Green Blooded Bastard - It (Part 2)

January 15, 2017 20:00 - 1 hour - 43.2 MB

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches It (Part 2). This movie is about a extra dimensional spider alien creature thingy based on the awesome book! This miniseries two part movie stuff is pretty solid and holds up ok so i figured i'd post it before the new films start coming out. thanks and enjoy it son! this episode is not good. sorry bro

Green Blooded Bastard - Saw: The Original Short Film

January 13, 2017 21:00 - 10 minutes - 5.12 MB

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Saw: The Original Short Film. This is the demo presentation piece filmed as a proof of concept to sell the script and get the first Saw film made. It's not too shabby so give it some love.

Green Blooded Bastard - It (Part 1)

January 08, 2017 20:00 - 1 hour - 44.2 MB

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches It (Part 1). This movie is about a extra dimensional spider alien creature thingy based on the awesome book! This miniseries two part movie stuff is pretty solid and holds up ok so i figured i'd post it before the new films start coming out. thanks and enjoy it son!

Green Blooded Bastard's Movie Commentary Podcast

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