Green Blooded Bastard's Movie Commentary Podcast

759 episodes - English - Latest episode: 18 days ago - ★★★★★ - 1 rating

The Green Blooded Bastard podcasts primarily feature movie commentaries. While they do not cure cancer or offer profound insights into filmmaking, they may provide a touch of humor, and be warned; I swear a lot. In addition to the free weekly movie episodes, I occasionally post side podcasts on the main feed. These include a Star Trek-focused show titled The Bastard Boldly Goes, a Battlestar Galactica series called Fat Apollo is Life, a Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman commentary known as The Bastard V Lois & Clark, an ALF-themed podcast I Am, Therefore I Watch Alf, and an Ash vs Evil Dead show named Ash vs Evil Dead vs The Bastard. Sometimes, I write bad poetry, create chaos art, and am generally emo.

TV & Film Arts Visual Arts profanity spock comedy drama greenbloodedbastard jfthuecks moviecommentary moviepodcast scifi starwars
Homepage Apple Podcasts Google Podcasts Overcast Castro Pocket Casts RSS feed

Episodes

Green Blooded Bastard - Fifty Shades Of Grey

February 28, 2016 17:24 - 2 hours - 55.8 MB

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Fifty Shades Of Grey. This movie is full of useless people being useless fuckers that piss me off and don't deserve to be alive. This podcast is awful and fuck you.

Green Blooded Bastard - Superman/ Batman: Apocalypse

February 21, 2016 16:20 - 1 hour - 34.9 MB

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Superman/ Batman: Apocalypse. In this movie Batman has to save Superman's ass from Lex's robot cock...JK that was the last one. So anyway Supergirl shows up, Darkseid is being an asshole again and Superman literally blows shit. Fuck it.

Green Blooded Bastard - Zoolander

February 14, 2016 17:57 - 1 hour - 39.3 MB

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Zoolander. This movie is about a dumb, yet physically ripped model that is brainwashed in order to kill some asian dude or something and there is breakdance fighting and Relax bitches!

Green Blooded Bastard - Silver Linings Playbook

February 07, 2016 18:50 - 1 hour - 54.3 MB

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Silver Linings Playbook. This movie is about a couple of crazy, broken and beautiful people that find love with each other. Peace and love bitches.

Green Blooded Bastard - The Devil's Advocate

January 31, 2016 18:30 - 2 hours - 65 MB

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches The Devil's Advocate. In this movie Neo is a smooth talking lawyer from the land of Flo Rida where they not only blow whistles, but also eat ass! fml.

Green Blooded Bastard - Jay & Silent Bob's Super Groovy Cartoon Movie!

January 24, 2016 20:35 - 59 minutes - 27.7 MB

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Jay & Silent Bob's Super Groovy Cartoon Movie! Jay & Silent Bob get high, jerk off and there may be some anal involved too.

Green Blooded Bastard - Rumble In The Bronx

January 17, 2016 19:48 - 1 hour - 39.3 MB

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Rumble In The Bronx. This movie is about an asian dude that just wants to go to his uncle's wedding, but will fight street thugs if he has too. he'll cut your fucking face son!

Green Blooded Bastard - Home Alone

January 10, 2016 19:00 - 1 hour - 46.6 MB

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Home Alone. This movie is about a snotty kid who gets left behind by his asshole family because fuck him. He thwarts a couple dbag crooks with in the most cinematic way possible, lose the battle win the war? The mom then makes a deal with the devil and ultimately doesn't achieve anything from it. Merica.

Green Blooded Bastard - The Man From U.N.C.L.E.

January 03, 2016 19:00 - 1 hour - 51.7 MB

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches The Man From U.N.C.L.E. The Cold War is in full effect and the heat is rising in this spy movie starring Superman and that guy from The Social Network. Not a bad movie.

Green Blooded Bastard - Superman/ Batman: Public Enemies

December 27, 2015 17:30 - 1 hour - 30.3 MB

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Superman/ Batman: Public Enemies. In this movie Batman has to save Superman's ass from Lex's robot cock! It's a fun movie, go give it a watch and have some pills while you are wasting your life son.

Green Blooded Bastard - Contagion

December 20, 2015 16:08 - 1 hour - 47.7 MB

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Contagion. This movie is full of viruses and people dying, but strangely not potato chips for some reason? It's a great movie man.

Green Blooded Bastard - The Ridiculous 6

December 13, 2015 15:54 - 1 hour - 52.9 MB

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches The Ridiculous 6. Not a great movie, but it was a hell of a better than most of the shit that he has put out in the last decade. Mainly it's just a boring comedy that should have been 30 mins shorter and less serious/ more silly.

Green Blooded Bastard - Anacondas: The Hunt for the Blood Orchid

December 06, 2015 20:38 - 1 hour - 43.3 MB

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Anacondas: The Hunt for the Blood Orchid. Big snakes, bad accents, but in a sequel bitches!

Green Blooded Bastard - Star Wars - Attack Of The Clones Blu-Ray

November 29, 2015 18:00 - 2 hours - 62.7 MB

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Star Wars: Attack Of The Clones Blu-Ray. This one is pretty awful and i want to hate fuck it. That is all.

Green Blooded Bastard - The Happening

November 22, 2015 16:55 - 1 hour - 40.4 MB

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches The Happening. The Happening is about grass and trees fist fucking us in the only way they know how... The Happening! She and Him run through the woods and remember why they like fucking each other or something.

Green Blooded Bastard - Hellboy: Sword of Storms

November 15, 2015 17:52 - 1 hour - 35.5 MB

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Hellboy: Sword of Storms. A decent animated film based on the classic comic character that is a hell spawn that should be bent on world destruction, but doesn't feel like it. He also like kittens and beer. It's not a bad movie, but with a few passing issues and stuff. I'll stop now.

Green Blooded Bastard - Tamara

November 13, 2015 21:00 - 1 hour - 43.9 MB

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Tamara. A well tread supernatural revenge story that is an ok film starring the wife of Channing Tatum. She's hell in high heels!

Green Blooded Bastard - Austin Powers: International Man Of Mystery

November 08, 2015 18:30 - 1 hour - 39.6 MB

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Austin Powers: International Man Of Mystery. In this movie James Bond takes on the bad guy, gets some pussy and saves the fucking day... oh shit, wrong movie. Listen till the end and hear the magical shit filled easter egg!

Green Blooded Bastard - Jurassic World

November 01, 2015 16:26 - 1 hour - 54.2 MB

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Jurassic World. This movie is really good and a lot of fun, but my podcast is dog shit! I was very tired while recording this podcast late into the evening, partially fueled by cough syrup, greasy pizza and i'm pretty sure that i briefly passed out a couple times during this film. I'm so sorry that you listened to this.

Green Blooded Bastard - Tales from the Crypt Presents: Bordello of Blood

October 25, 2015 14:40 - 1 hour - 37.3 MB

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Tales from the Crypt Presents: Bordello of Blood. This movie is full of good cheese fun where Dennis Miller tries to kill a Vampire bitch and then fuck a blonde bitch because he's a real dick! Fuck it.

Green Blooded Bastard - Would You Rather

October 18, 2015 18:09 - 1 hour - 42.1 MB

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Would You Rather. Not a bad movie, but it was a hell of a hard time getting this episode produced this week... computer issues again. Enjoy?

Green Blooded Bastard - Little Giants

October 11, 2015 16:33 - 1 hour - 48.2 MB

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Little Giants. The Giants beat the cowboys again! It's a fun family comedy with a girl named ice hole because she's a bad bitch and doesn't take shit from anyone. True story.

Green Blooded Bastard - Honey I Shrunk The Kids

October 04, 2015 19:17 - 1 hour - 41.8 MB

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Honey I Shrunk The Kids. In this film Rick Moranis has a huge cock and shrinks shit because he fucking can!

Green Blooded Bastard - Bull Durham

September 27, 2015 18:50 - 1 hour - 48.2 MB

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Bull Durham. This is the story of a cock strong young man named Bull that defies the odds of a cripple being a starting pitcher in the big leagues. Never tell him the odds! That was all a lie that i told you, i'm sorry... so so sorry. hahahaha

Green Blooded Bastard - Avengers Grimm

September 20, 2015 17:28 - 1 hour - 39.2 MB

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Avengers Grimm. This movie is not that good even for a bad movie, but the podcast is worst. Sorry folks. Get your pills and booze and strap in for this pile of shit! The only upside is the girl that Red and the Iron Hulk thingy that smashes shit or something?

Green Blooded Bastard - Wing Commander

September 13, 2015 19:13 - 1 hour - 45 MB

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Wing Commander. So Freddie Prinze, Jr. is a half breed asshole that can't act for shit, but somehow he's still a pilot in this damn movie. Saffron Burrows is sexy as always and loves chewing dbag's assholes out left and right. Matthew Lillard is subdued in his fucking lameness, but still manages to "help" save the day? Also David fucking Warner!

Green Blooded Bastard - Arachnophobia

September 06, 2015 16:52 - 1 hour - 48.9 MB

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Arachnophobia. Spiders Vs. John Fucking Goodman the Spider Hunter! He has a huge cock, but doesn't brag about it... just saying.

Green Blooded Bastard - The Langoliers

August 30, 2015 16:00 - 3 hours - 82.6 MB

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches The Langoliers. I had a fairly big tech issue which then forced me to do advanced mathematics and splice shit together... fuck that! That being said it should actually be synced pretty fucking solid and ready to use as a drinking game for everytime that i say fuck. DO IT!

Green Blooded Bastard - South Park - The Imaginationland Trilogy DVD

August 23, 2015 17:56 - 1 hour - 31.2 MB

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches South Park - The Imaginationland Trilogy DVD. There is nothing else to say son.

Green Blooded Bastard - 7 Days in Hell

August 16, 2015 17:32 - 40 minutes - 18.6 MB

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches 7 Days in Hell. This thing is fucking hilarious, but the podcast is shit so don't listen to it. In stread just go watch this fuckig thing already! This mocumentry was partially inspired by: McEnroe Borg Fire and Ice. Legends and Legacies. TENNIS I don't know how long this will be posted on youtube but here is a link to it: https://youtu.be/GlfL7gYGoy0

Green Blooded Bastard - My Bloody Valentine

August 09, 2015 18:17 - 1 hour - 40.8 MB

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches My Bloody Valentine. Pick axes, ripped out hearts and a dude with a mustache... sold!

Green Blooded Bastard - The Grand Budapest Hotel

August 02, 2015 16:00 - 1 hour - 44.5 MB

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches The Grand Budapest Hotel. I really love this film and you should too.

Green Blooded Bastard - BloodRayne: The Third Reich

July 26, 2015 16:38 - 1 hour - 34 MB

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches BloodRayne: The Third Reich. I have no idea how a movie involving vampires and nazis can be so awful... Uwe Boll!!!!!! This movie is shit and I was tired and just wanted to fistfuck this damn movie.

Green Blooded Bastard - Escape Plan

July 19, 2015 15:59 - 1 hour - 50.5 MB

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Escape Plan. A surprisingly decent film staring two old white guys that can barely speak english ffs! America Fuck Yeah!

Green Blooded Bastard - Road House

July 12, 2015 14:45 - 1 hour - 51.9 MB

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Road House. Dalton has a big cock and isn't affraid to use it! Road House.

Green Blooded Bastard - The Brady Bunch Movie

July 05, 2015 20:11 - 1 hour - 40.3 MB

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches The Brady Bunch Movie. Folks I'm sorry for doing this to you.

Green Blooded Bastard - Ender's Game

June 28, 2015 16:30 - 1 hour - 49.3 MB

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Ender's Game. This podcast is not very good, I'm so sorry for that.

Green Blooded Bastard - The Punisher

June 21, 2015 18:52 - 1 hour - 39.8 MB

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches The Punisher. Dolph Fucking Lundgren!

Green Blooded Bastard - Footloose

June 14, 2015 18:11 - 1 hour - 49.1 MB

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Footloose. Kevin Bacon has a big cock and isn't affraid to use it when it's time to dance!

Green Blooded Bastard - Beowulf

June 07, 2015 15:47 - 1 hour - 40.6 MB

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Beowulf. This is a futuristic reteling of the epic Beowulf maybe? Grab a 40oz folks because this one will hurt.

Green Blooded Bastard - National Treasure

May 31, 2015 16:13 - 2 hours - 57 MB

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches National Treasure. Ben Gates has a big cock and isn't afraid to use it!

Green Blooded Bastard - Congo

May 24, 2015 15:30 - 1 hour - 46.9 MB

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Congo. There is a magical ape that wears a powerglove and helps the human meat bags find the lazer gun and then goes home.

Green Blooded Bastard - Hellraiser

May 17, 2015 16:30 - 1 hour - 41.9 MB

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Hellraiser. A dude gets his face ripped off... 'nuff said!

Green Blooded Bastard - Mega Shark vs. Mecha Shark

May 10, 2015 15:30 - 1 hour - 38.2 MB

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Mega Shark vs. Mecha Shark! It is what it is. *production note* This episode had some asshole cutting the lawn outside so I heavily muted that sound/ silenced it as best that i could. Also Charter was experiencing problems so i had buffer issues and I did my best to fix the issue and keep it close to correct timing. At the moment where i say that I want to smash someone's skull is where the splice is, luckily it's within the last 10 mins o...

Green Blooded Bastard's Movie Commentary Podcast

Episodes

Books