Divorce University Online
302 episodes - English - Latest episode: 11 days ago - ★★★★★ - 31 ratingsTammy (Child Custody Coach) shares her experience and insights gained from her own divorce and subsequent step family. She also worked alongside her late husband, Attorney Thomas D. Ferreira, for over 15 years as a paralegal and mediator before beginning her child custody coaching practice in 2019. Thomas passed away on May 1, 2023 and Tammy continues to share the wisdom she gained from Thomas through the years as well as her own perspective. Tammy specializes in helping parents who are dealing with co-parents that have high-conflict personality traits such as narcissism, borderline personality disorder and bipolar.
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Episodes
Perjury, Contempt & Enforcement
July 13, 2021 09:00 - 41 minutes - 57.4 MBPerjury, Contempt & Enforcement – Episode 149 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. The first thing we often hear from clients is that the other party’s statement to the Court is “full of lies”. Then we get questions about the other party getting in trouble for perjury. Contempt is another big question. Isn’t my ex going to be held in contempt for not following Court orders? And if they don’t follow Court orders, how do you enforce your orders? These are all more complicated aspects of...
Think Like Your Judge to Win in Child Custody Court
July 06, 2021 20:56 - 39 minutes - 54.3 MBThink Like Your Judge to Win in Child Custody Court – Episode 148 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Is your Child Custody case the type that judges dream about or is it the opposite, a nightmare they can’t seem to wake from? If you like many people, you and your Judge are caught in this nightmare. To succeed in Court, you do not want to do “more of the same”, in other words, you don’t want to make the mistakes that most parents make. In this episode, we help you understand the Judge...
Get Coached Up to Defend Your Domestic Violence Case
June 29, 2021 09:00 - 43 minutes - 60.1 MBGet Coached Up to Defend Your Domestic Violence Case – Episode 147 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Domestic Violence cases are serious business and expensive business. If you are trying to defend yourself in a DV situation and you can’t afford an attorney, a little coaching can go a long way without breaking the bank. There are strategies that can help you attack the other person’s credibility while building a strong foundation for your case. And if the worst happens, and you have...
Be Positive in Child Custody Court
June 22, 2021 16:54 - 38 minutes - 53.1 MBBe Positive in Child Custody Court – Episode 146 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Many parents make the mistake of focusing on attacking the other parent in court. When in fact, the most effective approach you can take is to focus on the positive aspects of your relationship with your child(ren). The Court wants to you to cooperate and want you to support the other parent. This is the opposite of how many parents approach their case. Join us as we explain the Court’s view and why t...
Who Is Responsible for You?
June 15, 2021 09:00 - 38 minutes - 52.5 MBWho Is Responsible for You? – Episode 145 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Who is responsible for you? Who is responsible for your relationship? And what happens when the person you have relied on so heavily fails you? In order to move forward, you’ve got to take inventory of where you’re at. For more information, please visit us at divorceuniversityonline.com. Thanks for listening!
Is Divorce Worth the Wreckage?
June 08, 2021 09:00 - 36 minutes - 50.4 MBIs Divorce Worth the Wreckage? – Episode 144 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Have you ever heard the old joke? Why is divorce so expensive? Because it’s worth it! But seriously, the financial cost is only the beginning. The mental and emotional stress can be overwhelming for both you and your children. So, how do you know if it’s the right choice? In today’s episode, we’ll give you some tips on how to know if this is the right decision for you and your family. For more information...
When to Stop Negotiating
June 02, 2021 00:43 - 32 minutes - 45.1 MBWhen to Stop Negotiating – Episode 143 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. You know we are big advocates for settling your case and moving on with life. But what do you do when you have someone who just isn’t negotiating in good faith? Who argues about every last detail? And who always wants you to give more no matter what options you offer them? We discuss all this and more in today’s episode. For more information, please visit us at divorceuniversityonline.com. Thanks for listening!
Parental Alienation
May 25, 2021 19:47 - 41 minutes - 56.9 MBParental Alienation – Is it their fault or yours? – Episode 142 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Accusations of parental alienation are frequently thrown around in Family Court. And while, it does occasionally happen, in many cases, the non-custodial parent could have done many things to reduce the chances of their children being alienated by the other parent. This episode contains a little tough love, but the silver lining is that the solution lies with you! For more information, ...
Swallowing Your Pride
May 18, 2021 18:05 - 31 minutes - 43.5 MBSwallowing Your Pride – Episode 141 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. The breakdown of your family and the subsequent court process is nothing if not humbling. But many people make the mistake of letting their pride get the better of them and it often is a significant factor when you lose in Court. So, do you want to be right or do you want to be happy? We’ll explore this question and more in this episode. For more information, please visit us at divorceuniversityonline.com. Thanks ...
Where Will You Be in 5 Years?
May 11, 2021 20:18 - 40 minutes - 55.7 MBWhere Will You Be in 5 Years? – Episode 140 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. This is a question we often see asked in job interviews or in self-development environments. And, how can you use this wisdom in your divorce or separation to help guide you to better decisions? Future focus is the lens through which we create our post-divorce life. We break it down for you in this episode. For more information, please visit us at divorceuniversityonline.com. Thanks for listening!
Should I Stay or Should I Go?
May 04, 2021 09:00 - 45 minutes - 62.7 MBShould I Stay or Should I Go? – Episode 139 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Almost all of us struggle with the decision to divorce. Often, it takes years to make the decision and even after it’s made, we wonder if they did the right thing. But there are patterns in certain relationships that cause more harm than good. Join us as we discuss three of the common scenarios we see and how identifying the patterns can help you make the right decision. For more information, please visit u...
Financial Security After Divorce
April 27, 2021 09:00 - 42 minutes - 57.7 MBFinancial Security After Divorce – Episode 138 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Financial hardship is a struggle almost everyone has after divorce. But there are six simple rules for solving many of these struggles if you’re willing to put in the work. It won’t be easy but it will be worth it. Let’s dive in and start building that secure future for you and your family. For more information, please visit us at divorceuniversityonline.com. Thank you for listening!
Co-Parenting Chaos
April 20, 2021 16:00 - 36 minutes - 50.5 MBCo-Parenting Chaos – Episode 137 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Many times co-parents have trouble achieving peace in their relationship, especially the first couple of years after the split. And yet, studies show conflict is the worst thing for your children. And, if you’re dealing with an unstable co-parent that peace can seem totally elusive. But, believe us, it only takes one parent to turn the dynamic in the relationship. Join us as we share our best tips for helping you avoi...
Self Focus vs. Ex Focus
April 13, 2021 09:00 - 35 minutes - 48.2 MBSelf Focus vs. Ex Focus – Episode 136 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. During a divorce, it’s so important for us to practice self-care and to focus on ourselves, sometimes for the first time in a long time. But many of us get caught in the trap of being hyper-focused on everything our ex is or isn’t doing. So, how do you break the trap? Join us as we discuss the difference in these issues for men versus women and how it can impact your Court case! For more information, please visit...
It’s Only Words
April 06, 2021 09:00 - 31 minutes - 42.8 MBIt’s Only Words – Episode 135 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Remember when we’re kids and a common phrase was “stick and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me”. It seems in adulthood, we’ve forgotten this lesson. Divorce brings many words of anger that can’t be taken back. We spend much of our time being hurt by the other person’s words and the meaning we give them. Today, we’re going to remind you that words are only words and they can only hurt if you let them. ...
What Does the Court Want From You?
March 30, 2021 09:00 - 39 minutes - 53.6 MBWhat Does the Court Want From You? – Episode 134 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Many people have the experience of going into Court and not getting the result they want in their divorce or child custody case. As we heard one Judge put it, “Half of you are going to lose”. Not great odds. If you can start to understand how the Court views your case and how to present your information, you will have a much better chance of success. This episode is all about helping you do just that! ...
This Too Shall Pass
March 23, 2021 09:00 - 34 minutes - 47.6 MBThis Too Shall Pass – Episode 133 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. When you’re going through a crisis like a divorce or a breakup it can feel like the emotional pain will never end. The stress, grief, anger, and other emotions become the daily normal with no end in sight. But it will end and it will end sooner if we make a shift toward the future and away from the past. This episode is all about helping you do just that! For more information, please visit us at divorceuniversityonli...
STEP FIVE: Don’t Allow Other People to Knock You Off Track
March 16, 2021 09:00 - 31 minutes - 43.8 MBSTEP FIVE: Don’t Allow Other People to Knock You Off Track – Episode 132 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. You are often your own worst enemy in your own progress. But others can also slow our progress even though they have the best of intentions. Divorce is a time for you to focus on self-care and your own priorities. Remember, no is a complete sentence! For more information, please visit us at divorceuniversityonline.com. Thank you for listening!
STEP FOUR: Regularly Take a Progress Inventory
March 09, 2021 10:00 - 31 minutes - 42.6 MBSTEP FOUR: Regularly Take a Progress Inventory – Episode 131 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Even when we get started on our goals, we can lose steam as days turn into weeks turn into months. Keeping track of your progress isn’t only important for measuring but for maintaining motivation. Most importantly, you need to celebrate your success and have grace for yourself when you fall short. This is particularly important during a life trial such as divorce. Join us as we help you pus...
STEP THREE: Making the Big Things Your Priority
March 02, 2021 10:00 - 36 minutes - 50.3 MBSTEP THREE: Making the Big Things Your Priority – Episode 130 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Is your life guided by your big goals? Or do you spend most days stuck in the unimportant, urgent issues that come from your procrastination? Let’s face it, divorce is emotionally hard and some days you just don’t feel like doing anything. But, your big goals can help to keep you moving through the mud and the muck. This episode is all about helping you do just that! For more information, ...
STEP TWO: Take the Bull by the Horns
February 23, 2021 10:00 - 40 minutes - 55.6 MBSTEP TWO: Take the Bull by the Horns – Episode 129 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Are you letting your divorce just unfold or are you proactively guiding the process to make sure you get the outcomes you want? This week we talk about being proactive, creating actionable steps from your goals, and measuring your progress. As they say, what gets measured gets improved. For more information, please visit us at divorceuniversityonline.com. Thank you for listening!
STEP ONE: Dream Big!
February 16, 2021 10:00 - 39 minutes - 54.1 MBSTEP ONE: Dream Big! – Episode 128 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Dreaming is something we often stop doing during the crisis of divorce. But it is key for building your new life because if you can see it, you can achieve it. In this episode, we’ll help you discover your “why” and give you some practical tips on how to start creating your post-divorce dreams! For more information, please visit us at divorceuniversityonline.com. Thank you for listening!
Five Steps to Getting Off the Divorce Treadmill
February 09, 2021 10:00 - 37 minutes - 51.3 MBFive Steps to Getting Off the Divorce Treadmill – Episode 127 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Dealing with divorce feels like dealing with an unending series of emergencies. In order to stop the insanity, we have to get ourselves out of “reaction” mode and into proactive action. But what actions should you take? Where do start? Join us a we lay the foundation for this five part series to help you get into action and build your future. This episode is all about helping you do just t...
Finding Your Inner Lawyer
February 02, 2021 10:00 - 37 minutes - 51.8 MBFinding Your Inner Lawyer – Episode 126 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Divorce and custody issues are expensive when you need the Court’s help in resolving disagreements with your ex. But many people can’t afford a lawyer and end up needing to represent themselves. In this episode, we’ll help you navigate the Courts, understand what they’re looking for and help you present your information to the Court in a way that will achieve your desired outcome. For more information, please v...
Your Grief is Your Own
January 26, 2021 10:00 - 37 minutes - 51.1 MBYour Grief is Your Own – Episode 125 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. We may not always think of a divorce or breakup as something we grieve over, but it is. Grief is unique to each individual and relationship. It’s common to feel you “should be over it” or wonder “why is this so hard”. But grief comes in waves, one day your fine, the next your binging Netflix and eating a gallon of ice cream. You are not alone. For more information, please visit us at divorceuniversityonline.com. ...
Do I Need a Lawyer or a Divorce Coach?
January 19, 2021 10:00 - 37 minutes - 51.4 MBEpisode 124 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Lawyers and Divorce Coaches have very different roles in divorce and both can help you tremendously. Most people can benefit from both. In this episode, we discuss each of these roles to help you discern the pros and cons of each and how they can help you navigate your divorce journey. For more information, please visit us at divorceuniversityonline.com. Thank you for listening!
Your Emotions Are Your Biggest Enemy in 2021
January 12, 2021 10:00 - 38 minutes - 53.4 MBYour Emotions Are Your Biggest Enemy in 2021 – Episode 123 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. High emotions are common in divorce. After all, this is your family so who would expect you not to be upset. It is in this emotional state that many people hire an “aggressive” attorney or try to negotiate with their ex about the kids or money. This usually doesn’t go well. And the Court expects you to behave well even if you're upset, so sometimes you can actually end up hurting your case. J...
Don’t Let the Turkeys Get You Down in 2021
January 05, 2021 10:00 - 40 minutes - 56 MBDon’t Let the Turkeys Get You Down in 2021 – Episode 122 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. I think we all agree that 2020 was a really rough year. If you’ve been going through a divorce or breakup in the midst of everything else going on in the world, then it’s been an even rougher year! In this episode, we’ll talk about creating your vision for 2021 and things you can do to ensure that 2021 is not a repeat of 2020. We’ll help you move away from your past and toward your future. For ...
Helping Your Children with Transitions
December 29, 2020 10:00 - 33 minutes - 46.5 MBHelping Your Children with Transitions – Episode 121 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. The transition between two homes can be emotional for children. Depending on the child and their age, they may say they don’t want to go, they may cry, or have a fit. So, when should you worry? Should you ask your child why they don’t want to go? These strategies can often backfire, but there are many things you can do to help your child have a smoother transition. Join us now to learn these strate...
Build Your Cocoon
December 22, 2020 10:00 - 34 minutes - 47.5 MBBuild Your Cocoon – Episode 120 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. When we go through a divorce or separation, our relationship has typically hit a stage where the other person is toxic to us. Yet, we are often a glutton for punishment and continue to engage, often through conflict. It’s important for your own well-being that you learn to apply techniques to insulate yourself from the bullying, manipulation, control, or other toxic behaviors from your ex. Let’s start building your coc...
Level Up Your Parenting
December 15, 2020 10:00 - 40 minutes - 55.9 MBLevel Up Your Parenting – Episode 119 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Parenting is different after divorce and many times, parents to struggle to find the new norm. Sometimes, we try to wait until the situation “calms down” and think it will be easier for everyone if we wait to make changes. Or, we try to “protect” the kids from issues with the other parent. But, both of these approaches often backfire. The key is to level up your parenting. Listen now to learn how. For more infor...
Don’t Wish for Things to Be Easier
December 08, 2020 10:00 - 36 minutes - 49.8 MBDon’t Wish for Things to Be Easier – Episode 118 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. We sometimes develop of a habit of wishing our lives away. We wish for things to be easier, to get better. We hope that the future will have less struggle. But we forget that the struggle is part of what shapes us and builds our character. So, what if we wished to become better, stronger individuals capable of embracing the struggle, finding the seed of wisdom and knowledge in the struggle. Join us as ...
How to Solve Any Divorce Disagreement
December 01, 2020 10:00 - 37 minutes - 51.1 MBHow to Solve Any Divorce Disagreement – Episode 117 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Are you having a conflict with your ex and cannot seem to escape the constant battle with your ex? In this episode, we will discuss tactics you can use to diffuse any argument that comes up with your ex. Join us as we share our favorite resources for solving any divorce disagreement. For more information, please visit us at divorceuniversityonline.com. Thank you for listening!
Co-Parenting with a Narcissist!
November 24, 2020 15:25 - 32 minutes - 45 MBCo-Parenting with a Narcissist! – Episode 116 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Are you co-parenting with a narcissist? Many of us have exes that aren’t necessarily diagnosed with narcissism but who definitely exhibit behaviors associated with narcissism. Narcissists are a special breed and there are definite do’s and don’ts when co-parenting, especially if the Court hasn’t yet tumbled to the fact that they are dealing with a narcissist! Boundaries are important and you have to educ...
Knowledge is Power!
November 17, 2020 16:17 - 34 minutes - 47.7 MBKnowledge is Power! – Episode 115 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Knowledge is power, but divorce is a specific type of knowledge. How do you educate yourself in the right way about divorce? It’s helpful to seek advice, but the wrong kind of advice can create an epic battle between you and your ex. In this episode, we’ll share our best resources for educating yourself on the divorce process, what to expect, and how to navigate the post-divorce minefield. For more information, plea...
Stories from the Battlefield!
November 10, 2020 10:00 - 42 minutes - 57.9 MBStories from the Battlefield! – Episode 114 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. In this episode, we share stories of how we’ve seen clients succeed and fail during their divorce cases. Your family and their future are on the line so it’s important for you to understand the key building blocks of a successful divorce outcome. It’s also valuable when you can learn from other’s mistakes. Failure isn’t an option for most of us when it comes to our family. So, let’s get you on the path to ...
What Do You Really Want?
November 03, 2020 10:00 - 42 minutes - 57.8 MBWhat Do You Really Want? – Episode 113 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Many people going through divorce re-evaluate their life. Divorce creates a “clean slate” that allows you to rebuild the life you choose. But how can we get focused? How do we create long term goals while solving all of the temporary problems that must be solved when divorce hits. We’re here to support you and help you regain your self-confidence so you can find creative solutions to your current obstacles and ...
Easing Kids Into a Parenting Schedule
October 27, 2020 09:30 - 43 minutes - 59.2 MBEasing Kids Into a Parenting Schedule – Episode 112 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Divorce is a major transition for the entire family. So, how do you help your kids adjust? Is it best to try and ease your kids into a schedule or should you just tear off the band-aid and fully implement a schedule. There are pros and cons no matter how you choose to do it. Every family is different and every child is different. In this episode, we’ll share wisdom on how to create a plan that work...
Decision Making in Divorce
October 20, 2020 09:00 - 40 minutes - 55.9 MBDecision Making in Divorce – Episode 111 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Do you have decision fatigue? Making decisions during divorce are particularly difficult because emotions are running high. In addition, the decisions required of you are often of a critical nature because they involve family, finances, and our future. So, how do you deal with all the emotions and rid yourself of brain fog so that you can make quality decisions that will serve you? Join us now to learn more. ...
Managing Your Ex’s View of Your World
October 13, 2020 09:00 - 36 minutes - 50.2 MBManaging Your Ex’s View of Your World – Episode 110 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. In order to achieve peace in your post-divorce life, it’s important to have strong boundaries. We want our ex’s to have a view of our world that communicates that we’re doing great, even though that is sometimes an illusion. But illusion or not, it’s important in achieving a separate world where you have your family life and they have theirs. In this episode, we’ll teach you how to pave the road fo...
High Conflict and the Dreaded Attribution
October 06, 2020 09:00 - 42 minutes - 57.7 MBHigh Conflict and the Dreaded Attribution – Episode 109 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Most people that have high conflict relationship and subsequent high conflict breakups are guilty of one common practice. We call it the dreaded attribution. It’s important to understand this concept when it comes to disagreements with anyone in your life, but particularly your spouse or partner. Attributions often escalate an already intense argument into a full-blown battle. In this episode, ...
How to Stop the Argument that Never Ends
September 29, 2020 09:00 - 37 minutes - 51.9 MBHow to Stop the Argument that Never Ends – Episode 108 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Is this how your arguments with your ex feel? As if your life has become one long, exhausting, constant argument? Good news! There is a solution and it begins with figuring out your argumentative style. Join us as we help you find your style and the more importantly, the solution. And thankfully the solution doesn’t require your ex’s cooperation. For more information, please visit us at divorceu...
Should I Hire an Aggressive Attorney
September 22, 2020 09:00 - 40 minutes - 55.8 MBShould I Hire an Aggressive Attorney – Episode 107 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. We often hear people talk of needing an “aggressive attorney”. Let’s face it, we all have a friend or family member that knows the perfect aggressive attorney that will make our ex pay. But should you go that route? How do you know what attorney is right for you? Is it possible to hire an attorney and not lose complete control of your case? We answer all this and more in this week’s episode. For mor...
Stop Being Afraid!
September 15, 2020 09:00 - 38 minutes - 53.1 MBStop Being Afraid! – Episode 106 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Divorce is a life event that is full of change, uncertainty and fear. So many people become paralyzed by their fears, and yet divorce is also a time full of serious decision making. If you feel stuck or feel like no decision is better than a bad decision, then this episode is a must listen for you! We’re going to help you punch fear in the face and move forward with bold confidence! Are you ready? For more informatio...
Stop the Madness!
September 08, 2020 09:00 - 36 minutes - 49.6 MBStop the Madness! – Episode 105 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Has your court case become a runaway freight train? Are you up to your eyeballs in attorney fees? We often see this problem after people have become weary from the extended battle of divorce. The good news is, you can stop the insanity. Are you ready to learn how? For more information, please visit us at divorceuniversityonline.com. Thank you for listening!
Forging Your Alliance
September 01, 2020 09:00 - 33 minutes - 45.4 MBForging Your Alliance – In Episode 104 of the Divorce University Online Podcast, we take an in depth look at how to forge an alliance with your ex. In episode 101, we talked about your ex being your natural ally in divorce but in this episode, we’ll dive in to how to actually create that alliance. And the good news is, there are things you can do to start building that alliance even if your ex isn’t on board yet. Trust us, these tips will work if you apply them over the long haul with consi...
Remembering Your Wedding Day
August 25, 2020 09:00 - 39 minutes - 54 MBRemembering Your Wedding Day – In Episode 103 of the Divorce University Online Podcast, we talk about looking back on our wedding day. I know what you’re thinking. What?! Why would I want to remember that! Actually this reflection, although sometimes painful, can give you some great insight int handling your divorce and creating your future. Join us as we also share our experiences. For more information, please visit us at divorceuniversityonline.com. Thank you for listening!
Leaving an Abusive Spouse
August 18, 2020 09:00 - 37 minutes - 51.7 MBLeaving an Abusive Spouse – In Episode 102 of the Divorce University Online Podcast, we give you some things to think about in planning your exit. Leaving is never an easy decision, but neither is staying in an abusive relationship. We have seen many cases where people struggled more after leaving due to lack of planning in advance. We discuss, timelines, the Court process, and try to give you an overview of what to expect. For more information, please visit us at divorceuniversityonline.co...
In Every Divorce, Your Ex Is Your Natural Ally
August 11, 2020 09:00 - 32 minutes - 44.8 MBIn Every Divorce, Your Ex Is Your Natural Ally – In Episode 101 of the Divorce University Online Podcast, we discuss your natural ally in any divorce, your ex. Say what? Well, we know this sounds a bit crazy but if you really think through what you want out of your divorce, you’ll realize that you and your ex share more goals than you and your attorney, you and your children, or you and any other expert in your case. Don’t believe us? Join us now to learn how you can use this to your advant...
Collateral Damage
August 04, 2020 09:00 - 36 minutes - 50.7 MBCollateral Damage – In Episode 100 of the Divorce University Online Podcast, we talk about collateral damage in divorce. Collateral damage in divorce usually comes in the form of destroyed relationships including your ex, your kids, and even friends and family. And yet, most people are so focused on other aspects of the divorce such as the parenting schedule, support, and division of assets that they don’t realize they need to protect their family from the collateral damage. Even if you have...