Difficult Happens; Effective Communication for Bosses
186 episodes - English - Latest episode: over 2 years ago - ★★★★★ - 56 ratingsLara Currie is on a mission to transform the way we communicate with one another. The workplace doesn't have to be the source of conflict and discord. She'll teach you how to have open and honest communication with people, how to navigate conflict, and how to deal with the difficult "stuff" we all encounter in this ever increasingly defensive world. www.difficulthappens.com
Difficult can happen anywhere, so Lara is here to make sure you know exactly how to create positive communication, decrease defensiveness, and navigate the difficult that we all have to deal with in life, at home, and in the work environment so that you, your business, and your team, can save time, money and energy.
https://www.difficulthappens.com
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Episodes
185 How to Tame a Client
November 02, 2021 10:00 - 12 minutes - 17.5 MB“Uncertainty creates fear, fear create anger” -- Lara Currie Out of control Karen’s are the poster people for the rise in bad behavior. Uncertainty causes fear, and fear causes anger. All too often that anger is vented in the wrong venue. Customers rage at service workers, policies trigger push back, and those who want things to ‘go back to normal’ (whatever that is) are walking around in a heightened emotional state that your staff has to deal with. In today’s episode, what ONE THING ...
184 Camaraderie; Toxic or Not
October 26, 2021 11:00 - 9 minutes - 14.3 MBWe spend a lot of time with the people we work with. Whether in person or online friendships form, and leadership often tries to encourage a sense of camaraderie with staff. Without knowing it, this can create strife between coworkers without meaning to. When does camaraderie become toxic? With a nod to systems theory, we can learn how and why what is intended as 'team building' may, in fact, grow animosity. Work with Lara: Got a Question? Comment? Email [email protected] ...
183 How Toxic Happens
October 19, 2021 11:00 - 16 minutes - 27.5 MBDo you ever wonder how a workplace turns toxic? It doesn’t happen all at once, and it doesn’t happen in a vacuum. Like a pot that slowly boils there are a lot of steps along the way where you can stop the chain reaction of events before the workplace turns toxic. When blame, exaggeration, and generalizations are used in a conflict communication gets lost. Generalizing is another way to label and dismiss a person or a topic. Exaggeration inflames what may otherwise be no big deal, into ...
182 Leadership & Loneliness
October 12, 2021 10:00 - 19 minutes - 28.7 MBOn top of everything else that you have had to deal with this past year, now loneliness is on the rise, and the impact of loneliness on you and the work you do is impactful. Douglas Nemecek, MD, chief medical officer for behavioral health at Cigna says that the impact of loneliness on your health is equivalent to smoking 15 cigarettes a day and is possibly worse than obesity and that isolated people risk having a significantly shorter life span. I don’t think it's any surprise that any ...
181 Walk the Walk
October 05, 2021 10:00 - 15 minutes - 23.2 MBOur best self makes all the plans but she doesn't always show up to implement them The world is full of information, a plethora of knowledge is just a Bing search away, psych, we all use google. Yet with all this information at our fingertips, we can know a thing, understand it, but when it comes to implementing, it’s not as simple, we can have a hard time putting that information, that knowledge into practice. So what do you need to make sure that you, and your team, walk the walk, and...
180 Using Stories to Relate to Clients with Carol Cox
August 17, 2021 10:30 - 41 minutes - 39.2 MBThis is a juicy episode filled with the way’s that you can use stories in your everyday work life, from the boardroom to the stage. Carol and I talk about everything from our personal struggles and successes to the DNA of the feminine, from speaker hijackers to why Emma should stop watching Law and Order SVU. Carol tells us how she uses the three-act story structure and the Hero’s journey when working with clients. There are lots of free giveaways on dealing with conflict and a strategic s...
179 Difficult Indeed Happened
August 10, 2021 10:30 - 3 minutes - 6.75 MBWell, some difficult S*it just happened. In 176 weeks of recording the difficult happens podcast, I have never missed a publication. It’s time for me to model the very behavior I talk about. We will all go through some … stuff in our lives and I want you to do the same when you encounter some really difficult stuff, take care of yourself and your family. Next week, I will be back and I will be combating toxic, manipulative, bullying behavior head-on! Work with Lara: Got a Questi...
176 Toxic or Not? Compliments
July 20, 2021 09:00 - 18 minutes - 30.2 MBEveryone, at one point in their life, has experienced a compliment that did not sit right. Either it was way too personal, or it felt a little backhanded. That's why we're tackling whether or not compliments are toxic! When we break down compliments, we can see that it depends on a variety of factors; Who is giving the compliment, the context, and the motive. When it comes to genuine compliments, you know it when you see it. What you’ll hear on today’s episode: Compliments Gasl...
175 The one thing that makes all the difference
July 13, 2021 09:00 - 16 minutes - 26.8 MB"Knowledge is when you learn something new every day." We learn learn learn all day long but do we take enough time to apply? I love to learn, and learning the concepts is one thing, but implementing is another. This brings us to the one thing that we all need that we cannot do without. Something paramount to implementing better ways of communication, and that is empathy. What is empathy to you? Empathy is the ability to understand what other people feel emotionally and see things ...
174 The Masculine Feminine Myth
July 06, 2021 09:00 - 20 minutes - 32.6 MBWhat kind of energy do you give off? Do you find yourself expressing more masculine attributes or feminine? This concept of masculine and feminine has been around a lot, and we are beginning to see it take hold in the entrepreneurial and small business fields. Someone who is more focused and driven is seen to have stronger masculine traits, while more caring and creative is seen as having more feminine traits. Discussing masculine and feminine energies is based on a continuum, yin and ya...
173 The Distracted Leader with Amber Hawley
June 29, 2021 09:00 - 40 minutes - 65.9 MBHave you ever found yourself engulfed in a project, focused on the little details like font or style, and before you realize it, hours have passed? Guess what? You were distracted. Distracted does not always mean bouncing from one task to another or getting lost on Facebook when you should be working on a report. You can be hyper-focused on a task but be focused on something that does not serve your end goal. In the end, it doesn't matter why you were distracted. The effect is the same...
172 Toxic or not? Assertiveness
June 22, 2021 09:00 - 9 minutes - 16.3 MBWhen you think of someone who's being assertive, what comes to mind? Do you see someone who is direct and confident, or do you see someone who is confrontational and forceful? Have you ever been accused of being “aggressive”? Was it a valid critique or was it an attempt to shut you down? Assertive communication is often confused with being aggressive by those who do not like what you are saying, but they are NOT the same. Toxic workplaces, toxic relationships happen one breach at a tim...
171 The Impact of Images with Amy Balliett
June 15, 2021 09:00 - 1 hour - 98.4 MBIn a world that is increasingly growing more visual, how do you keep up? Younger and younger generations are becoming more socially competent in understanding differences in the "true-self" and "Instagram-self," but what about information spread online? 86% of people are now what is known as a "visual learner." Infographics and other visual aids are a great way to absorb information. However, as we look at older generations, we see a problem where we have not kept up on our education wi...
170 Toxic or Not? Loyalty
June 08, 2021 09:00 - 15 minutes - 25.9 MBDo you consider yourself a loyal person? Do you expect loyalty from your friends? On this episode of Toxic or Not, we are tackling loyalty. Many see loyalty as a black and white issue. You're either loyal or you're not, when in reality, there is a lot of room for the shades of gray. I conducted a (very unscientific) poll gathering information on whether people perceived loyalty as a positive or a negative, and the results were surprising. Older generations were most likely to have a...
169 Women, money & business with Lesley Batson
June 01, 2021 09:00 - 51 minutes - 83.4 MBWho likes to talk about money? Money and finances can be a minefield. How much should I charge? What are my costs? Do I really need this? There is a lot to contemplate! There is a lot of advice out there, stalwarts preach that we should put money into an IRA or 401K, that we should do this or don't do that, and not question it. But know what? That might not be the best route for you. It's okay to trust your gut and ask more questions! Lesley Batson of Rebel Rock Wealth joins us to disc...
168 Toxic or Not?
May 25, 2021 07:00 - 15 minutes - 24.8 MBHave you ever worked someplace and only realized, looking back, that it was a pretty toxic place? Sometimes figuring out that we are working in a toxic company, or with toxic people is difficult. So ask yourself, are you being treated unfairly, or are you just needing "thicker skin"? (spoiler alert - if it’s toxic for you, it’s toxic to you) A few weeks ago I saw an SNL Skit that was funny but also a little scary. The skit touched on toxic workplaces, gaslighting, and silencing one's v...
167 Self-care as a form of bullying? with Stacy Fisher
May 18, 2021 09:00 - 38 minutes - 63.5 MB“I do not think that word means what you think it means” -- The princess bride. The term “self care” has joined the ranks of other terms that have been watered down, co-opted, or re-defined to the point that it means nothing. I have noticed a concerning trend with self care, it has been used to manipulate, bully, and has been productized and sold. So I asked my friend and selfcare & resilience coach Stacy Fisher to join me and talk about the topic, and how you can find what works bes...
166 Queen Bee or Bully? Leading a team of women
May 11, 2021 11:00 - 16 minutes - 27.1 MBHave you ever used the phrase "I'm not like other women"? More often than not, we use this phrase to really say, "I'm not like the stereotype that has been placed on women." Spoiler alert - none of us are. Women have been trained to be the caretakers of other people's feelings, and when we deviate from that, especially professionally, it can lead to women being viewed as a "Queen Bee." This myth often portrays strong women as the Miranda type boss from The Devils Wear Prada, which norm...
165 Drama in the workplace with Patti Perez part 2
May 04, 2021 11:00 - 37 minutes - 61.2 MB“In order to build a rewarding employee experience, you need to understand what matters to your people.” -- Julie Bevacqua How good are you at reading the room? Do you consider yourself to be a Workplace Meteorologist, someone who is able to read the temperature? Or do you need a little assistance to see the writing on the wall? When working with those in an already heightened emotional state, it is important to have self-awareness and realize when you are being triggered. Defensiveness...
164 Drama in the workplace with Patti Perez part 1
April 27, 2021 10:00 - 36 minutes - 58.8 MB“Most misunderstandings in the world could be avoided if people would simply take the time to ask, "What else could this mean?” -- Shannon L. Alder Summary: Drama in the workplace is inevitable. Sometimes situations don't seem fair. How many times have you seen or know of someone who received a promotion or a raise at work and can't help but wonder why? What about being rejected for a position because you didn't fit their "workplace culture"? Patti Perez from Persuasion Point Inc...
163 Lara has a Vulnerability Hangover
April 20, 2021 09:00 - 14 minutes - 23.5 MB“Vulnerability sounds like truth and courage. Truth and courage aren’t always comfortable, but they’re never weakness.” -- Brené Brown Opening our true selves and exposing our thoughts, dreams, and shames can be a frightening experience. Trading our comfort for courage and opening ourselves up to public judgement often leads us to a Vulnerability Hangover. The Vulnerability Hangover was coined by Brene Brown to describe the feelings that wash over us after sharing publicly and ste...
162 Refresh with Dysfunctional Affirmations
April 13, 2021 09:00 - 17 minutes - 28 MBHave you ever been scrolling through Facebook or Instagram and see those little affirmation posts? What’s your first reaction? Have you tried them and found that they don't really work for you? You're not alone. Affirmations for self-care, love affirmations, black women empowerment affirmations, etc., are some of the most popular "affirmation for" searches on Google. Why don't you see affirmations for dysfunctional people? Dysfunctional affirmations are for those whose first reaction...
161 Restore - Essential Boundaries for Bosses
April 06, 2021 09:00 - 18 minutes - 30.8 MB“Boundaries are a part of self-care. They are healthy, normal, and necessary.” -- Doreen Virtue Do you ever feel like you’re being taken advantage of? A coworker, boss, or even a friend asks more and more of you. It could be anything from your time, work product, or even your attention that they seek and when you tell them no, they keep pushing. You don’t really want to, but you feel pressured, and you say yes anyway because you don’t want to be rude. This is a classic mani...
160 Reclaim Your Power; Breaking-Up Is Hard
March 30, 2021 09:00 - 16 minutes - 27.5 MB“Our authentic power is found in our truth. This is the place that shows us how to give what is so very good about ourselves.” -- Jeanne McElvaney Now that you can recognize dysfunctional situations and manipulation tactics, What do you do? Well, now you work on reclaiming your power! Out of each of the Four Pillars of Empowerment, reclaiming is probably the most difficult one for people to do. Reclaiming your power, your internal self, space, and your own narrative takes time, and (...
159 Recognize what’s really going on when Blame is an issue
March 23, 2021 09:00 - 12 minutes - 20.8 MB“Blame is a clever trickster. At its root, blame is a form of fear that helps us avoid accountability for our lives.” -- Debbie Ford Can’t help but wonder why someone refuses to accept doing something wrong, even something small? When blaming a person or system, your assigning responsibility for a fault or a wrong. However, feelings of fear or embarrassment can cause someone to go on the defensive and try to blameshift. It takes personal growth and development to determine why people...
Bonus Episode
March 18, 2021 09:00 - 17 minutes - 29.7 MB“With a new day comes new strength and new thoughts.” -- Eleanor Roosevelt Guess what?! This is a very special episode of Difficult Happens because I am celebrating The 3 YEAR Anniversary since starting the podcast! With your support, we have made it to over 100 thousand downloads. In the beginning, I jumped in with both feet trying to give everything in the first year to help people reclaim their own power and self-esteem. It is exciting to see more people becoming more aware...
158 What Entrepreneurs Know (that you should too)
March 16, 2021 09:00 - 19 minutes - 32.7 MBEver wonder how you can become more productive? You schedule your tasks every day and try to balance your time but fall short of your goals. There are three things that entrepreneurs know to help be more productive from understanding cycles to the impact of task-shifting. Entrepreneurs are a unique type of leader, they have learned when to shift between roles and the ways that they can be more productive in their work without sacrificing their mental health. What you’ll hear on today’...
157 When Good Clients Go Bad
March 09, 2021 10:00 - 24 minutes - 39.9 MBHave you ever had a client flip from a Dr. Jekyll to a Mr. Hyde? Everything was going along fine and then suddenly their behavior started to change to evasive or defensive. In most cases, they’re experiencing a triggered reaction. But what caused it? Was it something you said or did? Is something else going on? Are you triggered? These triggers and conflicts can lead to feelings of increased stress, tension, and anxiety. (you know your body keeps the score.) If you are an entrepren...
156 3 Things Women Need To Run A Business
March 02, 2021 10:00 - 20 minutes - 34.4 MBSometimes we don’t get a choice on whether or not to be a leader. When you run a small business, you will frequently be put into the leadership role where, inevitably, you will have to deal with difficult situations and personalities. Do you have the right support you need to deal with it effectively? The support needed can range from general business support to peer support, and personal support to professional support. From running your own business to leading a team (or existing o...
155 In the trenches of a toxic workplace with Jenn Trepeck
February 23, 2021 10:00 - 52 minutes - 85.6 MBWhat red flags have you missed? When starting out, you can be caught up in the excitement of the job or dynamic and excuse behaviors while in the moment. A little thing here, a little thing there, it is easy to miss all these little signs. But hindsight is 20/20 and eventually, you’ll see the writing on the wall. Now it is becoming more important to recognize dysfunctional and toxic behaviors in the workplace. Jenn Trepeck of “A Salad With A Side Of Fries” joins us to talk about her p...
154 10 Toxic Red Flags
February 16, 2021 10:00 - 21 minutes - 36.6 MBWhy would anyone work in a toxic environment? A toxic workplace doesn’t crop up out of anywhere, it is created, moment by moment and action by action. Every day there are news stories about bosses and bad behavior and environments that became unbearable. Have you ever wondered how these environments became so toxic and why people stay? As it turns out, it is a slippery slope. Some fields and environments can become stressful over time and others are inherently stressful fields. ...
153 One thing Bosses need to combat manipulation
February 09, 2021 10:00 - 23 minutes - 39.3 MBManipulative toxic behavior is on the rise. There are studies, books, blogs, and podcasts full of information about this trend. But without this one thing, all the information and skills you consume won’t work. Business owners know it, leaders know it, and successful people display it. On today’s episode, what you need to effectively combat manipulation. What you’ll hear on today’s episode: What manipulation looks like How toxicity grows What personal development has to do with it ...
152 The Challenge of Young Leaders with Shelby Moore
February 02, 2021 10:00 - 53 minutes - 88.1 MBTo be an impactful leader you need more than just good management techniques, you need good people skills. Being aware of what motivates, encourages, fosters, and grows a productive team is something that is learned in the trenches of interaction - where leaders are born. Being a young leader comes with its own set of struggles, on today’s episode Shelby Moore, a 26-year-old leader in a stressful nonprofit who runs a team of over 40 joins me to talk about breaking stereotypes, proving he...
151 3 Secrets Every Leader Should Know
January 26, 2021 10:00 - 19 minutes - 33 MBIf you put two people in a room and there will be 4 different points of view. Like the old adage goes 'the definition of a dysfunctional family is more than one person". Similarly, when you work with a team of people the dynamics are a lot like that of a family. Like a family, individuals can fall into patterns of behavior that impact the whole team. When you are the boss, the leader of the team, you set the tone, and by their actions or inactions, the patterns and habits that each memb...
150 The Key to Success
January 19, 2021 10:00 - 20 minutes - 34.9 MBDo you have a practice? I’m not talking about Spanish, piano, or handwriting practice I’m talking about a routine that you intentionally set up that helps you achieve a specific, measurable goal. When you have an intentional practice, that you implement in a routine way, it becomes a habit. We are creatures of habit, and if we don’t drive the train on what that habit is, you may find yourself with a not so helpful routine, that becomes a habit you need to break. In today’s episode, w...
149 The truth about productivity with Amber De La Garza
January 12, 2021 10:00 - 42 minutes - 69.6 MBDid you do some re-prioritising last year? With all of the unexpected ‘unprecedented events’ last year a lot of us have reprioritized the way we work and play. Many found this past year super productive while others, not so much. We don’t often think about productivity until we are either feeling overwhelmed, or starting a new year. Productivity and overwhelm are two sides of a coin. Balance is what we seek, predictability but as business owners, leaders and bosses, change is inev...
148 Thank you, Next
January 05, 2021 10:00 - 19 minutes - 31.6 MBIn Ariana Grande’s song Thank You; Next, she runs down some relationships she has had and what she has learned from them, how she has found wisdom and gratitude even in those that did not work out as planned. Lessons don’t always come in life-changing monolithic events, like a pandemic, or a job change, which are those moments where there was a marked before and after (the event), there is before the pandemic and (hopefully soon), an after. Most life changing lessons come in small impe...
147 Blame Shifting
December 29, 2020 10:00 - 18 minutes - 31.9 MBManipulative people have an arsenal of tactics they will use against you. Blame-Shifting is one of the big ones. When it is used by a boss or co-worker, it can create a toxic environment quickly, one that, if the manipulator isn’t stopped, will only get worse. In order to combat the blame-shifters tactic, we will shine the light on the many forms of shifting blame (some, may surprise you) and what you can do about it when they try these tactics on YOU. What you’ll hear on today’s episod...
146 How to Tame a Jerk
December 22, 2020 10:00 - 20 minutes - 34.8 MBJerky’esque behavior is rampant these days. Shocker (not). Rude, jerky, manipulative behaviors are dysfunctional coping skills learned and practiced over their lifetime and were born from their family of origin. It’s time to take your Happy back! Hold firm to your boundaries and be treated with respect. Today, we dive into how the bad behavior interferes with you, show you the patterns & cycles the manipulator (&jerk) will go through when you stand firm, and what the most important thi...
145 Magical Speaking - When words are used to manipulate
December 15, 2020 10:00 - 23 minutes - 39.5 MBSummary: When a manipulator starts spinning their tale it can feel like you are being tossed in a word salad! One thing that all manipulators have in common is that they use words to obfuscate, influence and control, also known as ‘Magical Speaking’. Have you heard the tapes between Amber Heard and Johnny Depp? One thing these tapes make clear, aside from their dysfunctional relationship, is that magical speaking was used relentlessly to control the narrative and to dictate wha...
144 Get over it
December 08, 2020 10:00 - 23 minutes - 39.5 MBOprah, Will Smith, & my Mom, all had an impact on the topic of today’s episode. Whether you have experienced a major life blow, like a divorce or a job change, or a more minor slight like a negative comment or angry road incident, it makes you mad and can be hard to get over it. On today’s show, we talk about how to ‘Get over’ tough things and move past them to a place where you can find some peace. You can’t control the fact that other people’s actions will impact you, but you can contr...
143 When someone is disappointed in you
December 01, 2020 10:00 - 10 minutes - 19.2 MBNo one likes that feeling of disappointing someone, or when someone didn’t live up to your expectations, this time of year, and this year in particular, there is a LOT out there to find disappointment in. Did you know that there are two types of disappointment? How do you tell the difference? Nobody likes that sinking feeling you get in your gut, yet it is a feeling we have all had. Disappointment comes in all shapes and sizes. So what do you do when someone is disappointed in you?...
142 Unprecedented Change
November 24, 2020 10:30 - 14 minutes - 15.9 MBwww.difficulthappens.com What changes have you experienced this year? We are in a time ⏳of (that dreaded phrase) unprecedented change, some changes have led to greater awareness, some changes we will be happy to see the back of. In this episode, we take a look at the changes 2020 has gifted us & how to have gratitude in hard times. What you’ll hear on today’s episode: Take the good and leave the bad Unwelcome change Change and adaptation Welcome change Gratitude Finding ha...
141 The Importance of Miscellaneous Regrettable Decisions
November 17, 2020 10:00 - 23 minutes - 38.2 MBWe have all made decisions that we later regret. The question is, did you learn the lesson you needed to learn from that miscellaneous regrettable decision? Ever turned down a great job because of a shinier one on the horizon? Have you been silent when you should have spoken up? I have done both! In today’s episode, I share some cringe-worthy moments that impact me to this day and I tell you all about them, what I learned, and what I would do differently today. What you’ll hear on to...
140 3 Reasons someone gets under your skin and what to do about it
November 10, 2020 10:00 - 20 minutes - 35.1 MBYou know that one person who really pushes your buttons? Who gets under your skin? Yea, that’s the one. Everyone has experienced an irritating person, that one dude who sits on your last nerve, or that mom on the PTA who pushes your buttons, or your teenager when they are bored or just exist as a hormonal mess :) Today we explore why someone pushes your buttons, when it is manipulative and when it is emotionally immature, and what you can do to eliminate or at the very least minimize t...
139 When Positivity is Toxic
November 03, 2020 10:00 - 20 minutes - 21.1 MBThink positively, everything happens for a reason, the Universe will take care of it, it will all just magically disappear, it will go away. Have you noticed this type of messaging out there? These vapid empty platitudes, in essence, say absolutely nothing. Toxic positivity is cropping up all over the nation right now, I’m sure you’ve seen it on your news feed or on your social sites. I have witnessed it in my friend groups and from our leaders. How can positivity be toxic? The researc...
138 - Using Your Anger for Change? With Leslie D Lyons
October 27, 2020 09:00 - 46 minutes - 76.1 MBIs unintegrated anger impacting you? Anger is a powerful emotion, whether it's yours, or someone else's being directed AT you. Righteous anger can inspire and spark change when channeled effectively. So what do you do about anger? How do you identify, integrate, and express your anger in an effective way? My client Leslie Lyons joins me today to dive into this topic, how movement gives your emotions motion, and so much more. What you’ll hear on today’s episode: How anger manifes...
137 Building Resilience & Thriving in Tough Times; Calling a Code Lavender
October 20, 2020 09:00 - 13 minutes - 24.5 MBThere are markers along the timeline of our lives. Moments that mark a change, a significant event, or a vivid memory. Like anchors that signify that after this moment, we became different than we were in the moments before. Holding your child for the first time, when a loved one dies, quitting a job you needed but could no longer tolerate. When sh*t gets real every animal instinct that we have focuses like the Eye of Sauron on the moment and our brains take note of every emotion, every ...
136 Why People Get Triggered
October 13, 2020 09:00 - 13 minutes - 24.8 MBSome people just push your buttons, but why? Manipulators are masters at it, toxic people do it, and those with immature or dysfunctional communication styles both push your buttons and get defensive. Have you ever thought about what is really going on when your mood instantly changes and someone drives you up a wall, rattles your cage or peeves you off? We all get triggered, it’s part of the great landscape that is the tapestry of our lives. Sometimes we recognize it and sometimes we ...
135 The Silent Treatment
October 06, 2020 09:00 - 20 minutes - 36.4 MBHas anyone ever used the silent treatment with you? Have you ever been ghosted by someone? It feels awful to be on the receiving end of someone else’s loud silence. At best the silent treatment is an immature behavior used by immature and manipulative people. At worst, it is a weapon used by abusers to punish their victims. Whether the person in your life is using the silent treatment immaturely or abusively, one thing is for sure, it is infuriating to receive. Problems cannot be...