But Not All At Once

A 2021 Royal Rundown: Harry, Meghan, Oprah & What Comes Next

It's been a minute since we caught up on the happenings of the Duke and Duchess of Sussex, Prince Harry and the former Meghan Markle. Let's dive into the Netflix, Spotify, Oprah, photo ops and patronage snubs of it all - and then the likelihood of baby Sussex #2 becoming both president of the United States and sovereign of the British Commonwealth. (Short version: that ain't happening.) As always, you can share your thoughts at [email protected]. Talk to you right here next week! x...

Hello from the Other Side: What Moms and Non-Moms Wish We Could Say

No one has it easy these days, and so often we feel we can’t be honest about that - particularly parents and non-parents to one another. How do we  voice what we feel and all we're truly carrying? Thanks for opening up at @butnotallatonce, and for trusting our community to support you even when what you're sharing is hard. I mean it when I say that better days are ahead, y'all. And coming quickly. xoxo Thanks for being here, y'all! I'd love your thoughts, questions, ideas, and everything i...

Do Dope Things with Luvvie Ajayi Jones

This week's guest Is Luvvie Ajayi Jones, New York Times best-selling author and presenter of a viral Ted talk about speaking up even when the world demands we whisper. Luvvie's thoughts on impostor syndrome, conquering fear, doing what you love, and belonging In any room you enter will move you to reimagine your 2021. Find Luvvie at @luvvie across social platforms or awesomelyluvvie.com. Her new book, Professional Troublemaker, is available for preorder now everywhere books are sold. Conn...

Of Course You Are: January 2021 Pep Talk

Welcome to season three of But Not All At Once! As with everything else about the last year, our opener is a bit different than anyone anticipated. Our community's overwhelming request for this week's episode was a pep talk: perhaps some commiseration, understanding, and encouragement for the days ahead. No matter how you feel or what you're doing to get by, you're going to hear me say: "Of course you are." You'll also hear me touch on Night Googling™, coping strategies, whom and what you'...

"Eat the Cake" with TikTok's Nurse Hadley

When I happened upon Nurse Hadley's TikTok, I was both drawn to and encouraged by her stories from the frontline of hospice care. Evidently I'm not alone; more than 750,000 followers agree. Hadley went viral earlier this year after sending her children to stay with family so she and her husband, a doctor of physical therapy, could serve patients at the start of COVID. Since then, she's answered questions about end-of-life care, reaffirmed her own belief in what happens after death, and rem...

"Eat the Cake" with TikTok's Hospice Nurse Hadley

When I happened upon Nurse Hadley's TikTok, I was both drawn to and encouraged by her stories from the frontline of hospice care. Evidently I'm not alone; more than 750,000 followers agree. Hadley went viral earlier this year after sending her children to stay with family so she and her husband, a doctor of physical therapy, could serve patients at the start of COVID. Since then, she's answered questions about end-of-life care, reaffirmed her own belief in what happens after death, and rem...

The Coaching Carousel with Kelli Staggs

In 14 years of marriage, Kelli Staggs has played mom, teacher and coach's wife in seven moves at six universities. Working alongside some of football's most renowned families, including Lou Holtz's and Steve Spurrier's, the Staggs have had a hand in growing football programs at the University of South Carolina, Charleston Southern, Furman and  North Greenville. Perhaps the wildest ride, however, is the latest stop on what Kelli calls their coaching carousel: Coastal Carolina University. Thi...

Big Family, Small Business and Global Ministry with Katie Walters

Katie Walters is why this podcast started. Not the literal reason, but the embodiment of it - a woman you'd see across a party or in your social media feed and think, "That woman has it all together." She'd want you to know there's far more than meets the eye. Katie is a stylish, joyful mother, due with her seventh any day now, and smitten wife to her pastor husband. She is CEO of a thriving missional fashion line, an encouraging social media presence, and somehow finds time to co-author a ...

What Your Grieving Friend Wants You to Know with Jenny Hewitt

Cancer Couldn't Be Our Life with Jenny Bright Hewitt

Ever wondered how to help a grieving friend, what to do for a widowed neighbor or what unfolds in the days after a life-changing loss?  Today's guest became a widow at 30 after her husband, Tim Bright, lost his five-year fight with colon cancer. And that's not even half her story. In 2010, Jenny Bright Hewitt took on the role of advocate, partner, caretaker, fundraiser and new wife at once. Together Tim and Jenny led the Bright Life Foundation, raising nearly $250,000 for cancer research a...

We Never Let Fear Hold Us Back: Leo's Story

After a textbook pregnancy, Meredith Bugenske learned her newborn son had a life-limiting, incurable condition called SMA type 1. When her community began fundraising to provide baby Leo with an accessible van, Meredith hesitated; doctors didn't expect him to live long enough to make use of It. Despite his team's initial prognosis, Leo will be seven in less than two weeks. With the help of his family's advocacy and his mastery of eye-tracking technology, Leo is now a wise-cracking first gra...

When the Bottom Falls Out: A Break-Up and Life Change Pep Talk

This week we learned that there are more twenty-something But Not All At Once listeners than we knew. (Welcome, sparkly little youths!) Two days ago, one wrote in asking for advice, words of wisdom, or general encouragement for her, a 23-year-old grieving the end of a six-year relationship. I took her requests to our Instagram community, who offered far more than we could have hoped! Words of experience, hope, understanding and big truths. Thoughts that may encourage you whether you're faci...

Pregnant Without A Pulse: Mandy Poole's Miracle

In February, Mandy Poole shared a story that shocked, broke and warmed our hearts. Next week it gets a new chapter: another (unexpected) open heart surgery. It started on a quiet night watching football at home several years ago. Stephen returned from the grill to find Mandy, a 32-year-old NICU nurse in her first trimester, unresponsive on the couch beside their two children. Stephen's quick thinking, prayers, and 11 exhausting minutes of CPR kept his wife and their unborn son alive. Today...

Mercy, Will We Overcome This?

These are special times - if "special" is a preposterously watered-down euphemism. Headlines, heartbreak, ceaselessly-updating statistics flying at us from every which way...it's no wonder that we find ourselves in need of a pep talk. Please enjoy a stream-of-consciousness window into my mind as I try to "lift up my eyes" by quoting the music of my youth (namely Dave Matthews), Scripture, Margaret Mead, my grandmother, and probably yours too. We can all look up. Keep our eyes on our (minim...

We Are What We Value: Public Education in a Pandemic

I've heard you never know the strength of a woman, much like a tea bag, until she's in hot water. In the case of public schools, I'd say the "hot water" is a pandemic. And here we are, making tea. Today Catherine Schumacher, a parent of two Greenville County Schools students and CEO of Public Education Partners, discusses why public education matters regardless of whether you are homeschooling, sending your children to private school, or don't have children yourself. She offers insight into...

We Are What We Value: Public Education in a Pandemic

I've heard you never know the strength of a woman, much like a tea bag, until she's in hot water. In the case of public schools, I'd say the "hot water" is a pandemic. And here we are, making tea. Today Catherine Schumacher, a parent of two Greenville County Schools students and CEO of Public Education Partners, discusses why public education matters regardless of whether you are homeschooling, sending your children to private school, or don't have children yourself. She offers insight into...

Adding State Senate to An Already-Full Plate with Kathryn Whitaker

Meet Kathryn Whitaker, a wife and working mom who reads the same headlines and faces the same daily struggles most of us do. In perhaps the busiest season of a woman's life, and definitely the weirdest year any of us has faced, Kathryn has added a new challenge to her plate: running for South Carolina Senate. But Not All At Once hasn't become a political podcast; this isn't a stump speech. Instead, I'm here to ask the hard-hitting questions like: Huh? Why now? And most of all, with two chil...

What Winning the Lottery Looks Like: April Robson Interviews Anne Smith

I can think of no better opener than Michael Scott's, "Well, well, well - how the turntables have..." In this episode, listener favorite April Robson (episodes 14 & 15) takes the mic to interview ME. She asks about our family's story, what inspired But Not All At Once, and how the hardest things you've lived through bring forth beauty over time. Today's chat, despite the seemingly heavy topic, was breezy and fun to record. You'll hear a little extra chatter, ice clinking in our tea sweet gla...

What is "The Work" and How Do We Do It?

Educator and author Charnise Mangle joins us today to talk about "the work" many of us have been doing in recent months - and what plenty of others have been doing for far longer. In the wake of a summer of headlines, heartache, protests, public outcry and private self-examination, there's plenty to discuss on the topic of becoming anti-racist and supporting those pursuing racial equity. Charnise's background and passions intersect beautifully to walk us through a conversation on equality, s...

Finding Freedom: A Sussexit Book Report

Earlier this week, the heavens opened and Amazon dropped off my pre-ordered copy of "Finding Freedom: Harry and Meghan and the Making of a Royal Family." Today's episode is my virtual book report about the long-awaited, loosely authorized biography of the only British prince not currently known as His Royal Highness - and the wife who joined him for the ride. Despite seemingly scandalous snippets covered in the media, I didn't find anything too salacious in the biography. I did, however, f...

Anne's Pandemic Apology Tour: August Edition

We interrupt our regularly scheduled programming to bring you stop one of my pandemic apology tour. I seemed to semi-skate through the summer, able to compartmentalize the weight of looming school uncertainties and go with the flow in a very un-Anne-like way. Wednesday night, though, I hit a wall. Pandora's box opened. I was hit by a freight train. Insert whatever cliche you like; it happened. This episode is a stream of consciousness peek into what I learned when my nervous system kept me ...

A Student of Hope: Perspective from Brooke Turner in a Pandemic

My birthday is tomorrow, and to celebrate I'm rereleasing my favorite But Not All At Once episode yet. My dear friend Brooke Turner passed away six months ago this week, before COVID turned our world upside down. The cancer that took her is not her legacy, though. What she leaves behind is the astounding gift of fancying herself, amidst unexpected widowhood, cancer, infertility and overwhelming change, a "student of hope." Today's episode was recorded a year ago, cobbled together from multi...

A Walk (Down Memory Lane) to Remember: The Movies that Shaped Us

If you're between 25 and 45, or just have an affinity for films of the '90s and early aughts, you may have moments of nostalgia today as I dive into the movies that shaped us. Much to my husband’s dismay, I’ve never seen Braveheart, Die Hard or Pulp Fiction. There’s a whole genre of film I can quote without thinking, though, and many of you love it too. Join me for hands-down our most conversational episode yet; I needed to distract myself for half an hour, and I’m delighted to have y'all ...

"He Made Us All Feel Like His Favorite" with April Czarsty

Dr. April Czarsty is a pediatric dentist who has virtually earned a congressional medal of honor through her work with my four children alone. Today, however, she's talking about entirely different things. If you've needed a warm and fuzzy break from the reality of COVID, her story may turn your week around. April, the youngest of four, walks us through the legacy her father left in his children. Decades before the "gig economy," he instilled in each an entrepreneurial desire to be their ow...

"Diversity is Here and Happening" with Dr. Nika White

Dr. Nika White joins us this week to dive into how diversity makes every aspect of our lives - work, school, worship and play - richer. Nika helps us understand the difference between equity and equality (you can thank me for my genius pancake metaphor later), encourages us to use our voice wherever we have influence, and challenges us to be thoughtful, sensitive and action-focused in our work to become more inclusive. Learn more about Nika's diversity and inclusion consulting and access h...

What Comes Next: Moving Forward When The World's A Mess

"It just feels like the world is on fire." If I had a dollar for every time I'd heard that sentence this last month, I'd be treating you to an extra-large Chick-fil-A combo meal by now. The scales on many of our eyes have fallen away in recent weeks; processing what's been revealed has been an overwhelming, heartbreaking, deeply uncomfortable process that won't stop anytime soon. So what comes next? Whether or not you're, like me, a white woman who hopes to make a difference in her home, h...

A Primer for People Who Care: How to Start Seeking Social Justice

This episode isn't a sermon or a lecture; I'm not qualified to deliver either. Instead, it's a window into what I'm doing and an invitation to join me in learning and listening. It's time for more than a broken heart emoji on a social media post, but what can we do? Today we'll talk about anti-racism, examining privilege, if good people can carry prejudice, being supporters instead of saviors, setting aside our defensiveness and listening with compassion to experiences we don't understand. ...

Intuitive Eating: "You Can Trust Your Body"

Let's consider today's episode the first of many about intuitive eating - a self-care framework that pulls our focus inward, away from diet culture and external authorities on wellness. Truth be told, it's a scary concept for many of us. Trust our bodies? Give ourselves permission and abundance to discern what we need on any given day? What if we find ourselves falling face-first into a dessert table three times a day when the world tells us sugar is evil? Hoo boy. There's a lot to unpack ...

What to Say to a Friend Today

It seems we're all having the same conversations these days. No one's going anywhere, doing anything, or sharing any titillating stories they experienced outside of TikTok. We want to be there for each other, but when we're not even sure what WE need, how can we do that? Today we'll walk through a few ideas: "Nothing new to report; I just wanted to check in on you." "Your abs will be the very last thing I care about when I finally get to see you." "I'm sleeping more..." or whatever your...

Coping in Quarantine: Why This is Hard and What to Do About It

Little of what we're facing right now feels normal, sustainable or easy. Today, counselor Caroline Stayer-Brewington talks us through why quarantine feels hard and what we can do about it. We dive into our best means of coping, how mental and physical health are tied, why quarantine seems easier for some, and what "grief" and "trauma" really mean. Hint: we're all dealing with them, whether we realize it or not. Caroline's words shed light on what we're experiencing and are an encouragement...

A Walk, a Chat and BNAAO's First Birthday!

But Not All At Once just celebrated its first birthday! (And I nearly missed it.) It wasn't marked the way we intended, but 50-something episodes, oodles of downloads, and a few thousand laughs-while-sniffling later, I'm so proud of what we've built. Thanks for being here and listening from the start! Today we'll just have a little chat - exactly the kind I'd have with a friend on an evening stroll, were such a thing allowed in quarantine. So pop in your earbuds, lace up your shoes, hide in...

Megs and Haz Take Hollywood: The Next Chapter of Sussexit

It's been a few weeks since we chatted about the history, protocol, romance and tabloid headlines shaping the Duke and Duchess of Sussex's future. Since then, besides the whirlwind of COVID-19, there have been some major - and somewhat explosive - developments. Today's episode sheds light on where Harry and Meghan have landed since exiting their roles as senior royals last month. We also wish Queen Elizabeth II a happy 94th birthday, and Prince Louis a happy 2nd one, while hoping things see...

It's Quaran-time to Talk

Hello, and welcome to quarantine. It's a simple enough concept, right? Stay put. Stay safe. We want to embrace it whole-heartedly, to be thankful and still and use the time to tackle all manner of long-overdue projects. So WHY DOES THIS FEEL SO HARD? Wherever you land on the spectrum from peace to panic, this pep talk is for anyone experiencing quarantine and its many weird side effects. The bending of time, the blurring of days, the lack of energy, the buzz of anxiety, the loneliness, the ...

No-Weigh '19: What Happened When I Tossed My Scale

Early in 2019, I decided to step off the scale for a full year. When I brought it up in the But Not All At Once Instagram community, the feedback was overwhelming - questions, worries, fears, curiosity.  In the 14 months since, I haven't cheated once; that's 14 months longer than I'd ever gone before. As a woman raised with eyes and ears in this country, I absorbed many a message about how much I "should" weigh and what health and wellness meant. For me, it came down to the three digits on ...

But Not All (The Days in Quarantine) At Once

It's the oddest dichotomy: we're all in this quarantine thing together, but everyone feels entirely on their own. The road ahead seems cloudy, and there's more than enough panic to go around - but not enough ground beef or toilet paper. Here's a quick chat about some ways we can make the days ahead doable, restful, productive, memorable, manageable or even fun - but not all at once. (Clearly.) Find me at @butnotallatonce on Instagram to let us know what you're up to! Stay safe, healthy and...

The Invisible List Clogging Up Your Brain

Imagine your brain is a laptop. If you pulled the Task Manager up, what would it look like?  Does it feel like 54 different "apps" are running in the back of your mind at all hours? Like a million tabs are open, but no one else can see what's clogging things up? What invisible, everpresent, capacity-devouring to-do list items pop up the moment your head hits the pillow? Or while you're mid-shower and totally unable to do a thing about them?  Today we talk about emotional labor, the taxing...

The Sweetest Days of My Life with Brooke Turner

Brooke Turner would have been 40 years old tomorrow. She passed away on February 2 from Stage IV breast cancer, nearly five years after her initial diagnosis. Cancer is not her legacy, though; that's spelled out here in her own words, chronicling the "sweetest days" of her life. Today's episode was recorded six months ago, cobbled together from multiple conversations as storms flickered over South Carolina. One hour-long stretch of our recordings was lost, and Brooke and I spent months tryi...

Saving Lives in Her Memory: The Emerson Rose Heart Foundation

Susan and Jason Smith faced the unimaginable nine years ago: their two-month-old daughter passed away while recovering from open heart surgery. Born perfect and pink despite a severe congenital heart defect called HLHS, Emerson Rose Smith inspired her parents to serve other families like theirs. For Susan, the first step was donating a closet's worth of diapers and wipes from the nursery her daughter never saw.  Within months, the first Emerson Rose Heart Foundation fundraiser supported th...

Pregnant without a Pulse: Mandy Poole’s Miracle

February is American Heart Month, and today's story will warm (and shock and break and inspire) yours.  The Poole family was planning a low-key night watching Clemson football when Stephen returned from the grill to find Mandy, 8 weeks pregnant and 32 years old, unresponsive on the couch beside their two children.  Finding no pulse, he performed 11 minutes of CPR to keep Mandy and their baby alive. While she and two-year-old Owen are healthy and happy today, it was a rollercoaster of a rid...

You Can't Live in the "Why Me?"

February is American Heart Month, and today's story will warm yours - and possibly give it (like mine) some palpitations.  The Poole family was planning a low-key night of burgers and Clemson football when Stephen returned from the grill to find Mandy, 8 weeks pregnant and 32 years old, unresponsive on the couch beside their two children.  He checked for a pulse and, finding none, performed 11 minutes of (untrained) CPR to keep Mandy and their baby alive. While she and two-year-old Owen ar...

My Baby Across the World: International Adoption with Mary Craig Hart

Mary Craig Hart had three children, the youngest of whom was still a baby, when she felt a tug on her heart for adoption. She kept her husband in the dark for a while, afraid of what he'd say, as she researched and cried and prayed. Turns out he'd felt the same pull too - but where would they even start? Today the Harts' son, Franklin, is seven years old, thriving and smiling alongside his besotted siblings in photos - but it took a long, winding road to get there.  Mary Craig speaks candi...

HRH No More: The Conclusion of Sussexit

So much unfolded in the Sussexit Saga last week!  Where did things land around the Duke and Duchess' titles, HRH status, living arrangements, patronages, finances and future?  Are Harry and Meghan more or less protected against media intrusion? What's behind their latest lawsuit? Is there precedent for royals pursuing commercial income? What are the consequences of their moving eight time zones and 4000 miles away? In today's episode, we dive in and wrap it all up!  Share your thoughts a...

Don't Call It a Megxit: A Deep Dive into the Sussexes and Their Next Steps

By popular demand, But Not All At Once takes a deep dive into Sussexit. A primer for royal newbies and a full overview for those of us well-versed in the House of Windsor, today’s episode covers the who, what, why and WHYYYY of The Duke and Duchess of Sussex's recent announcement. And also the rules about capitalizing "The" in front of royal titles, a particularly irksome detail for the writers among us.  Are Harry and Meghan's decisions entitled? Are they keeping their HRHs? Do we feel an...

Starting Small with Tasty as Fit's Emilie Blanchard

Emilie Blanchard isn't your average wellness influencer; she's an entrepreneur, a creative mind most at home in the kitchen, and a genuinely good-hearted soul devoted to helping others feel as fantastic as they can. Through Tasty as Fit, Emilie has been sharing plant-based recipes far and wide on Instagram for years; more recently, she has opened a storefront to feed her hometown the unprocessed foods and unrivaled flavors that are her signature.  In today's episode, we talk about her plan...

Rethink the Way You Drink with Kim Banks

Taking a break from alcohol changed Kim Banks' sleep, her skin, her relationships and, most of all, her outlook on life. Though never an alcoholic, she cycled through feeling emotionally dependent on drinking, a habit she tried to moderate or kick entirely many times before going alcohol-free.  Kim encourages us to rethink our relationship with drinking; for some that may mean moderation, but others will find that the "sober curious" life is right for them.  The mom of twin kindergarteners...

People, Not Projects with Kim Mogan of GirlUp GVL

Kim Mogan founded GirlUp GVL to empower marginalized girls in Greenville, SC. While the root issues putting these young women at risk - poverty, racism, inequality - are too complex to untangle, Kim is changing lives one relationship at a time. Through GirlUp GVL, Kim aims to teach her middle and high schoolers that they're loved, and to help them understand their worth. Sometimes that looks like self-defense classes, etiquette lessons or basic life skill workshops; other times it might be ...

But Not All (The Presents) At Once: A Gift "Guide"

It's a But Not All At Once gift guide - of sorts. No swipe-ups, commissions or kickbacks, and no deep theological dives into the meaning of Christmas. This is more about getting by so you can really get INTO the holiday. How long should our lists be? What great ideas can you steal for your mother-in-law, your best friend, or (even harder) your best friend's kid? How do other families exchange gifts - or not? What means more than spending money on a gift? Are gift cards tacky? How can we sh...

When A Brain Tumor Somehow Makes Sense with Gavin Hendricksen

Artist Gavin Hendricksen had a full, beautiful life in Charlotte, North Carolina, but she was plagued by a barrage of symptoms that didn't make sense. She dealt with headaches, exhaustion, anxiety, hair loss, a disappearing libido and the nagging feeling something was wrong, but no doctor seemed to agree. After hearing "you're just a busy mom" a few times, Gavin brought her concerns to a physician who took them at face value. (Bursting into tears at "How are you?" probably sealed the deal.)...

Do They Host Playgroups for Grown-Ups?

We can't sniffle our way through every episode, so here's a 100% tissue-free chat with my dearest friend. On today’s episode, Erin Demo and I tackle listener questions about the tricky business of friendship while adulting.  How can you be a better friend?  How do we meet new people but avoid FOMO? Where can we squeeze in time for friends when no one's schedules align? Is "picking up where you left off" even a good thing? And will we ever be able to have full conversations again, or is tex...

A Restoration Story with Hadley Eddings

Four years ago, Hadley Eddings was nine months pregnant with a two-year-old in the backseat. She felt a nudge to turn around and say, "I love you." After that, life as she knew it turned upside down. In a tragedy that made headlines, a multi-car accident injured both Hadley and her husband, Gentry, as they drove home from a family wedding. Rushed into an emergency c-section alone, Hadley awoke to learn her oldest son, Dobbs, hadn't survived; days later, after a life-flight to a NICU in anot...