06: "L'appel du vide and a circle jerk of sadness" (ft. Courtney Cook) | Interview Part 2

CW: Suicide, self-harm, mental illness, skin picking, unhealthy relationships 

This is part 2 of my interview with artist, writer and mental health advocate, Courtney Cook. This year, she released her debut graphic memoir, “The Way She Feels: My Life on the Borderline in Pictures and Pieces."

The book provides a candid and brave look at her life and struggles with BPD, depression, anxiety and OCD through a combination of her colorful and unique artwork and personal essays.

Below is a breakdown of the subjects we covered in part 2:

• Toxic college party and hookup culture and how attending a "big ten" university affected her mental health

• Using sex and intimacy as self-harm and validation (having sex to "feel like we exist in our bodies")

• The importance of knowing and discovering our OWN sexual needs

• The impact early puberty and being sexualized at an early age

• Staying in dangerous, unhappy or toxic relationships due to a fear of being alone

• Finding compassion for our "inner child" and hw we develop feelings of worthlessness

• The "middle path" in life and discovering that boredom might just be peace after all

• Self-soothing methods for splitting episodes

• Handling impulsive and intrusive thoughts by becoming identified with the observer mind (or the "wise mind" in DBT)

• Rethinking recovery as linear and how "better" isn't a destination

• Mental health meme culture and "circle jerks of sadness"

• How teenage friend groups can unknowingly turn toxic and create negative mental health outcomes for one another

• Methods to cope with intrusive thoughts and OCD

• What is "l'appel du vide" (the call to the void) as a reminder and reaffirmation of our will to live

• Playing with our shadows and inner critic through existential kink

• Dissociation and struggling to return to an emotional baseline

• Self compassion and the sweet freedom that comes through feeling our feelings

Follow Courtney on Instagram @thewaycourtneyfeels

Visit Courtney's website

Buy "The Way She Feels: My Life on the Borderline in Pictures and Pieces"

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In the US, the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is 1-800-273-8255. In the UK and Ireland, Samaritans can be contacted on 116 123 or by emailing [email protected] or [email protected]. In Australia, the crisis support service Lifeline is 13 11 14. Other international helplines can be found at www.befrienders.org.

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