05: "Should've been on Lexapro straight out of the womb" (ft. Courtney Cook) | Interview Part 1

CW: Suicide, self-harm, mental illness, skin picking, unhealthy relationships 

In this episode, you'll hear part one of my interview with artist, writer and mental health advocate, Courtney Cook. This year, she released her debut graphic memoir, “The Way She Feels: My Life on the Borderline in Pictures and Pieces."

The book provides a candid and brave look at her life and struggles with BPD, depression, anxiety and OCD through a combination of her colorful and unique artwork and personal essays.

Below is a breakdown of the subjects we covered in part 1:

• BPD and creativity - how Courtney uses her art and writing to connect to others

• Courtney's experience growing up in a sheltered "village" in suburban Illinois

• Being born with a nagging sense of emptiness, regardless of her "idyllic" upbringing

• Family history of mental health problems

• Growing up feeling like "a turtle without a shell" and how it feels to be a highly sensitive person (HSP)

• Childhood friend groups turned toxic

• On being told as a teen that she would "grow out of " her big feelings

• The hesitation to diagnose teens with BPD even after periods suicidal ideation / attempt

• On teen angst and feeling like a lost cause

• On Gooning (the legal industry of kidnapping teens and forcing them to process their feelings in the wilderness)

• On the guilt and shame of feeling depressed when we are in positions of privilege ("Why can't I be happy if I have all the things in place to feel whole and satisfied?"

• Being a "frequent flier of the psychiatric hospitals of the Chicago area"

• Her diagnosis at age 23 and feeling like things "clicked into place"

• Switching towns, schools and friends (owning our victim mindset and projections)

• The stigma against BPD in the mental health community and beyond

• Neuroplasticity and our brain's ability to modify, change, and adapt both structure and function throughout life and in response to experience (how this provides hope for BPD recovery)

• Courtney's relationship and experience with SSRIs and antipsychotics for BPD (Lexapro, Abilify) 

• Struggles with OCD, body dysmorphia, dermatillomania, and trichotillomania

• How she was able to begin to re-frame and re-train her brain to find hope

• Internalized ableism and demonization of BPD 

• On BPD and relationships and feeling “too much” and “crazy” 

Follow Courtney on Instagram @thewaycourtneyfeels

Visit Courtney's website

Buy "The Way She Feels: My Life on the Borderline in Pictures and Pieces"

In the US, the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is 1-800-273-8255. In the UK and Ireland, Samaritans can be contacted on 116 123 or by emailing [email protected] or [email protected]. In Australia, the crisis support service Lifeline is 13 11 14. Other international helplines can be found at www.befrienders.org.

BFTB is the place to be for the tea on all things BPD, EUPD, and emotional dysregulation. Join the community of 2.9k others with BPD on Instagram @bpdtea (DMs are always, ALWAYS open!) Website and lots of other goodies are coming soon.

See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.