Speculative Grammarian Podcast
298 episodes - English - Latest episode: over 7 years ago - ★★★★★ - 11 ratingsSpeculative Grammarian—the premier scholarly journal featuring research in the neglected field of satirical linguistics—is now available as an arbitrarily irregular audio podcast. Our podcast includes readings of articles from our journal, the occasional musical number or dramatical piece, and our talk show, Language Made Difficult. Language Made Difficult is hosted by the SpecGram LingNerds, and features our signature linguistics quiz—Lies, Damned Lies, and Linguistics—along with some discussion of recent-ish linguistic news and whatever else amuses us. Outtakes are provided.
Homepage Apple Podcasts Google Podcasts Overcast Castro Pocket Casts RSS feed
Episodes
The Speculative Grammarian Essential Guide to Linguistics Book Trailer
October 04, 2013 12:08 - 1 minute - 10.4 MB VideoThe Speculative Grammarian Essential Guide to Linguistics Book Trailer; by Trey Jones.
Review of John Stuart Mill and the Temple of Doom
September 27, 2013 13:28 - 2 minutes - 2.73 MBReview of John Stuart Mill and the Temple of Doom; by Vervet Vandiver Vanlandingham-Vanderveer; From Volume CLXVII, Number 3, of Speculative Grammarian, June 2013 — This weekend I went to see the new high-spectacle action-adventure film, “John Stuart Mill and the Temple of Doom”. While the special effects were noteworthy, I was most impressed by the reflorescence, if not recrudescence, of Hollywood linguistics. Intended as a high-brow response to the recent Sherlock Holmes movies, this film b...
Everything psychologists wanted to know about linguistics but were afraid to ask
September 24, 2013 12:08 - 2 minutes - 2.26 MBEverything psychologists wanted to know about linguistics but were afraid to ask; by Herr Prof. Dr. Harold Twistenbaum; From Volume CLXV, Number 3, of Speculative Grammarian, September 2012 — Where’s linguistics? / Linguistics is a branch of psychology, which is a branch of biology, which is a branch of digital electronics. (Read by Declan Whitford Jones and Trey Jones.)
The Speculative Grammarian Survey of Grammar Writers—Phonology
September 20, 2013 12:08 - 2 minutes - 3.29 MBThe Speculative Grammarian Survey of Grammar Writers—Phonology; by Morris Swadesh III; From Volume CLXVII, Number 1, of Speculative Grammarian, April 2013 — Introduction / For the past 40 months, Speculative Grammarian’s Office of Linguistic Documentation has conducted an extensive survey of linguists who have published descriptive grammars. Over 600 grammar writers responded to our extensive questionnaire, covering all areas of data-gathering, analysis, theory, and the processes of writing a...
The Sociolinguistic Impact of Hippie Linguist Naming Practices
September 17, 2013 12:08 - 5 minutes - 5.92 MBThe Sociolinguistic Impact of Hippie Linguist Naming Practices; by ɹɒbɪn O’Jonesson; From Volume CLXIII, Number 2, of Speculative Grammarian, November 2011 — There is little discussion in the literature concerning the social and psychological effects of the distinctive and unusual names given to children by their hippie parents, such as Moonbeam, Peacekarma, Ryvre, Starchild, Redpony, and so many more. Even less attention has been paid to the naming practices of the particular sub-culture of ...
Philologer’s Kvetchwhinge 32
September 13, 2013 12:08 - 41 seconds - 1.11 MBPhilologer’s Kvetchwhinge 32; by Athanasious Schadenpoodle; From Volume CLXVI, Number 4, of Speculative Grammarian, March 2013. (Read by Brianne Hughes.)
O Socio, Socio! Wherefore art thou Socio?
September 13, 2013 12:08 - 42 seconds - 1.24 MBO Socio, Socio! Wherefore art thou Socio?; by Thomas Basil Callan Bernstein-Hodson; From Volume CLXVI, Number 4, of Speculative Grammarian, March 2013. (Read by Brianne Hughes.)
Texan for Linguists
September 06, 2013 12:08 - 4 minutes - 4.13 MBTexan for Linguists; by Katy Jo Parker and Truman ‘Tex’ Beauregard; From Volume CLXI, Number 3, of Speculative Grammarian, April 2011 — This article is not about the descriptively interesting linguistic features of Texan dialects of English (such as incipient “fixin’”, singular “they”, modal stacking, second person plural “y’all”, “ain’t” and “cain’t”, “bidness”, “coke” for “soda”, etc.) nor is it about any of the interesting Spanish-related linguistic phenomena in Texas (such as “Spanglish”,...
Verner’s Law, Parts 1-3
September 03, 2013 12:08 - 18 minutes - 28 MB VideoVideo: Verner’s Law, Parts 1-3; by Ari Hoptman. Part 1 deals with the “discovery” of the first consonant shift, which, in effect, gave birth to the Germanic languages. Part 2 deals with Verner’s Law itself, an exception to the first consonant shift. Part 3 discusses some problems scholars have encountered with Verner’s Law. Used by permission.
Adaptive Heuristic Caching in Name Recall
August 30, 2013 12:08 - 5 minutes - 5.15 MBAdaptive Heuristic Caching in Name Recall; by Trey Jones; From Volume CXLIX, Number 1, of Speculative Grammarian, January 2004 — This paper will present a brief case study and provide data pertaining to an apparently inconsistent linguistic behavior concerning name recall. This inconsistency will be resolved by means of a novel computational explanation for the phenomenon. (Read by Trey Jones.)
Language Made Difficult, Vol. XXVIII
August 27, 2013 12:08 - 36 minutes - 33.7 MBLanguage Made Difficult, Vol. XXVIII — The SpecGram LingNerds go it alone once again. After some Lies, Damned Lies, and Linguistics, the LingNerds discuss some problems with (the) French, and reveal their least favorite subdisciplines of linguistics.
Linguistics and Television
August 23, 2013 12:08 - 2 minutes - 3.02 MBLinguistics and Television; by C Robson; From Volume CLXVI, Number 4, of Speculative Grammarian, March 2013 — It occurred to me the other day that despite a great range of educational channels available to the modern television viewer, it appears that linguistics has been somewhat ignored. Try as you might, but your cable or satellite provider will sadly not feature “Channel Schwa”, for it does not exist. (Read by Veronika Reeve.)
Simon M. Tating
August 20, 2013 12:08 - 1 minute - 1.23 MBObituary for Simon M. Tating; From Volume CLXVI, Number 1, of Speculative Grammarian, November 2012 — Prof. Simon M. Tating, 63, of Farborough, passed away 19th November 2012 attempting to learn the pronunciation of certain Bantu words involving various voiceless implosive phonemes. (Read by Trey Jones.)
On the Quantum Nature of Linguistic Fame—A Reply to Slater
August 16, 2013 12:08 - 6 minutes - 6.81 MBOn the Quantum Nature of Linguistic Fame—A Reply to Slater; by Cadwallader Colden; From Volume CLXVII, Number 3, of Speculative Grammarian, June 2013 — Dear Sirs: / Your a̶u̶g̶u̶s̶t̶ ̶s̶t̶e̶r̶l̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶h̶o̶n̶o̶u̶r̶a̶b̶l̶e̶ ̶e̶s̶t̶i̶m̶a̶b̶l̶e̶ ̶c̶r̶e̶d̶i̶t̶a̶b̶l̶e̶ ̶r̶e̶p̶u̶t̶a̶b̶l̶e̶ ̶o̶c̶c̶a̶s̶i̶o̶n̶a̶l̶l̶y̶ ̶i̶n̶o̶f̶f̶e̶n̶s̶i̶v̶e̶ journal recently published a sketch of a mathematical model for the fame of a linguistic theory. While it deserves some small credit for broaching the topic, perh...
Fifty Grades of A
August 13, 2013 12:08 - 1 minute - 1.16 MBFifty Grades of A; by i ɛl dʒemz; From Volume CLXV, Number 1, of Speculative Grammarian, July 2012 — Get the book that everyone’s talking about... (Read by Trey Jones, Cathal Peelo, Claude Searsplainpockets, Veronika Reeve, and Brianne Hughes.)
Optimality Theory Was a Hoax—Prince and Smolensky finally come clean
August 09, 2013 12:08 - 2 minutes - 3.04 MBOptimality Theory Was a Hoax—Prince and Smolensky finally come clean; by SpecGram Wire Services; From Volume CLXVI Number 4, of Speculative Grammarian, March 2013 — At a tearful news conference during the 2013 Annual Meeting of the Linguistic Society of America, Allen Prince confessed that Optimality Theory was a hoax. “I just can’t live with the lies any longer,” he said. (Read by Brianne Hughes.)
Language Made Difficult, Vol. XXVII
August 06, 2013 14:10 - 36 minutes - 33.7 MBLanguage Made Difficult, Vol. XXVII — The SpecGram LingNerds go it alone this time. After some Lies, Damned Lies, and Linguistics, the LingNerds discuss the grammaticalization of "slash" and review some Comprehensive Exam questions and answers.
A Student’s Guide to the History of Linguistics Based on Example Sentences
July 26, 2013 12:08 - 2 minutes - 2.62 MBA Student’s Guide to the History of Linguistics Based on Example Sentences; by Franz Neumayer; From Volume CLXII, Number 3, of Speculative Grammarian, August 2011 — The following sentences exemplify important concepts in linguistics, and relate them to the linguists whose names are most associated with their development. They are provided as a service to MA students reviewing for comprehensive exams. (Read by Trey Jones.)
Linguist Sues Language Community
July 19, 2013 12:08 - 1 minute - 2.25 MBLinguist Sues Language Community; by SpecGram Wire Services; From Volume CLXVI, Number 2, of Speculative Grammarian, January 2013 — Graduate student Simon Ticks, of University of Minnesota Department of Linguistics, is suing a White Hmong village in Northern Thailand for failing to provide the evidence needed for his dissertation project. (Read by Veronika Reeve.)
Rock, Paper, Scissors, Computational Linguist, Nasal-Ingressive Voiceless Velar Trill, Chomsky—A New Game for Every Linguist
July 12, 2013 12:08 - 2 minutes - 2.23 MBRock, Paper, Scissors, Computational Linguist, Nasal-Ingressive Voiceless Velar Trill, Chomsky—A New Game for Every Linguist; by Phlange Kadigan; From Volume CLVII, Number 3, Speculative Grammarian, November 2009 — We are almost all quite familiar with the game commonly known as Rock-Paper-Scissors (also known in some circles as Rochambeau), in which two opponents face off, simultaneously choosing a hand shape to represent one of the three eponymous “weapons”. The interest in the game stems f...
Strings and Things: A Unificational Meta-Theory for All Linguistics
July 05, 2013 12:08 - 4 minutes - 4.24 MBStrings and Things: A Unificational Meta-Theory for All Linguistics; by Trent Slater; From Volume CLXVII, Number 2, of Speculative Grammarian, May 2013 — Despite the best efforts in those sciences that ignore the importance of morphological historiography, it has so far proved impossible to provide one theory to rule them all. Thus, as head of the largest group of linguistic meta-theoreticians in the Whole World, I feel that it falls to me to propose and prove a Grand Theory of Everything Lin...
Language Made Difficult, Vol. XXVI
June 28, 2013 12:08 - 37 minutes - 34 MBLanguage Made Difficult, Vol. XXVI — The SpecGram LingNerds are joined again by guest Aya Katz. After some Lies, Damned Lies, and Linguistics, the LingNerds discuss whether English has a perfectly phonetic orthography, and some of the interesting languagey things that linguists notice out in the world. (And in the outtakes Trey insults various programming languages left and right, potentially sparking a future holy war.)
Everything Linguists Ever Wanted To Know About Prime Numbers
June 21, 2013 12:08 - 2 minutes - 2.78 MBEverything Linguists Ever Wanted To Know About Prime Numbers; by A. Nonymous; From Volume CLXII, Number 1, of Speculative Grammarian, June 2011 — How do various types of linguists go about analyzing, for themselves and their conspecifics, the primality of odd numbers greater than one? The methods vary by discipline, but the results are all equally valid. (Read by Trey Jones.)
Guidelines for the Behavior of Graduate Students of Phonetics
June 14, 2013 12:08 - 1 minute - 1.83 MBGuidelines for the Behavior of Graduate Students of Phonetics; by Felicity Conditions; From Volume CLVI, Number 2, of Speculative Grammarian, April 2009 — 1. The IPA symbol for a bilabial click is not called “the cervix,” even if it really looks like one. (Read by Veronika Reeve.)
Whettam’s “Linguistics: an extraordinarily short introduction”
June 07, 2013 12:08 - 2 minutes - 2.82 MBWhettam’s “Linguistics: an extraordinarily short introduction”; by Reviewed by A. Crostic; From Volume CLI, Number 2, of Speculative Grammarian, April 2006 — “Linguistics: an extraordinarily short introduction”. / H.P. Whettam. Droxfo University Press, 2006. 1p. $137.00 (Read by Keith Slater.)
Handbook for Linguistic Elicitation, Volume 28: Laziness and Inactivity
May 31, 2013 12:08 - 1 minute - 1.84 MBHandbook for Linguistic Elicitation, Volume 28: Laziness and Inactivity; by Editors of Psammeticus Press; From Volume CLXVII, Number 2, of Speculative Grammarian, May 2013 — Handbook for Linguistic Elicitation, Volume 28: Laziness and Inactivity / From the Editors of Psammeticus Press / Published 2013. (Read by Cathal Peelo.)
Language Made Difficult, Vol. XXV
May 23, 2013 15:11 - 41 minutes - 37.9 MBLanguage Made Difficult, Vol. XXV — The SpecGram LingNerds (including new LingNerd Sheri Wells-Jensen) are joined by guest Aya Katz. After some Lies, Damned Lies, and Linguistics, the LingNerds discuss the applications of involuntary gripping in response to hand-related verbs, and review a surprisingly large number of language-related books.
Help with the SpecGram Podcast!
May 17, 2013 13:59 - 10 seconds - 187 KBHelp with the SpecGram Podcast; by Trey Jones
The Γραμματο-Χαοτικον Manifesto
May 17, 2013 12:08 - 3 minutes - 3.77 MBThe Γραμματο-Χαοτικον Manifesto; by The Γραμματο-Χαοτικον; From Volume CL, Number 4, of Speculative Grammarian, October 2005 — We are the Γραμματο-Χαοτικον, an underground alliance of linguists, philologists, and polyglots. Our self-appointed role is to encourage arbitrary and capricious change both in Language and among languages, world-wide. (Read by Trey Jones.)
On the Taxonomic Classification of minimalistici
May 10, 2013 12:08 - 14 minutes - 13.2 MBOn the Taxonomic Classification of minimalistici; by Athanasious Schadenpoodle; From Volume CLXIII, Number 1, of Speculative Grammarian, October 2011 — To the toiler in the full-furrowed fields of taxonomy, there can be no surprise attendant upon the discovery that a previously well-established classification has been called into question by closer scrutiny of the species involved, or by advances in the analytic mechanisms underlying the distinctions informing the taxonomy itself. The very ac...
Términos Lingüísticos Autorreferentes
May 03, 2013 12:08 - 1 minute - 2.03 MBTérminos Lingüísticos Autorreferentes; by T. B. Geller; From Volume CLXVII, Number 3, of Speculative Grammarian, May 2013 — Términos Lingüísticos Autorreferentes / eɫe veɫar / elʲe palʲatalʲ / cponsonante cpoarticulada ... (Read by T. B. Geller.)
Language Made Difficult, Vol. XXIV
April 26, 2013 23:19 - 52 minutes - 47.8 MBLanguage Made Difficult, Vol. XXIV — The SpecGram LingNerds are joined yet again by Gabe Olsen. After some Lies, Damned Lies, and Linguistics—with returning guest Jonathan Downie—the LingNerds discuss the unreasonable prestigiousness of mathematics, and review likely comprehensive exam questions and effective answers thereto.
Review of Crystal Gayle’s “Dictionary of Essential Linguistics Vocabulary”
April 19, 2013 12:08 - 2 minutes - 2.32 MBReview of Crystal Gayle’s “Dictionary of Essential Linguistics Vocabulary”; by Jean-Pierre LeBeau; From Volume I, Number 1, of Babel, March 1990 — Seldom does a field so young and controversy-fraught as modern linguistics benefit from disciplined research into its synchronic terminology as much as linguistics will from Crystal Gayle’s “Dictionary of Essential Linguistics Vocabulary”. Students and scholars alike will find Gayle’s work thorough, insightful, careful, and most of all, readable. (...
An Analysis of easy-Type Adjectives
April 05, 2013 12:08 - 4 minutes - 4.65 MBAn Analysis of easy-Type Adjectives; by A. Word; From Volume CLIII, Number 3, of Speculative Grammarian, January 2008 — In certain academic circles, there is a well-known category of adjectives, often referred to as easy-type adjectives. These include “hard”, “difficult” and others. (Read by Trey Jones.)
Saussure and Bloomfield: The Question of Influence
March 29, 2013 12:08 - 3 minutes - 3.53 MBSaussure and Bloomfield: The Question of Influence; by Tim Pulju; From Volume I, Number 4 of Gaugauh Kamadugha, The Journal of the Linguistic Society of South-Central New Caledonia, August 1991 — One of the more vexed questions in modern linguistic historiography concerns the extent of Saussure’s influence on Bloomfield and through him on American structuralism as a whole. Rather than add to the discussion of that issue, I intend in this paper to point out the importance of another, related, ...
Language Made Difficult, Vol. XXIII
March 22, 2013 12:08 - 29 minutes - 27.1 MBLanguage Made Difficult, Vol. XXIII — The SpecGram LingNerds are joined again by Gabe Olsen, this time for the whole show. After some Lies, Damned Lies, and Linguistics—with guest Jonathan Downie—the LingNerds discuss whether English is a Scandinavian language, and review a list of the worst words of 2012.
Review of “Mathematical Games, Puzzles, and Fallacies” by Sydney Lamb
March 15, 2013 13:08 - 3 minutes - 3.73 MBReview of “Mathematical Games, Puzzles, and Fallacies” by Sydney Lamb; by Henry Morgan; From Volume I, Number 4 of Gaugauh Kamadugha, The Journal of the Linguistic Society of South-Central New Caledonia, August 1991 — Review Article: Lamb, Sydney. 1977. Mathematical Games, Puzzles, and Fallacies. New York: Arco Publishing Company, Inc. 71 pp. (Read by Keith Slater.)
The Linguist’s Self-Definer for Humanistic Greek and Latin Lingo
March 08, 2013 13:08 - 1 minute - 1.46 MBThe Linguist’s Self-Definer for Humanistic Greek and Latin Lingo; by R.L. Rankin; From Lingua Pranca, June 1978 — vowol harmono / ümlaut / dithsimilation / to back formate / metasethis ... (Read by Trey Jones.)
Review of Zhang, Jiannan, “The Relationships between Processes and Participants in Chinese: A Cognitive Approach”
February 15, 2013 13:08 - 2 minutes - 3.2 MBReview of Zhang, Jiannan, “The Relationships between Processes and Participants in Chinese: A Cognitive Approach”; by Jan Vanderkeller; From Volume I, Number 3, of Better Words and Morphemes, The Journal of the Linguistic Society of South-Central New Caledonia, May 1991 — Dr. Zhang seems to be laboring under a strange delusion. To wit, as far as I can tell, he thinks that there are only 300 verbs in Chinese. Where he got this idea, I have no idea, since most people know that there are a total...
Review of Van Der Fort’s Guide to Field Linguistics
February 08, 2013 13:08 - 4 minutes - 4.13 MBReview of Van Der Fort’s Guide to Field Linguistics; by Webley Louis Severson III; From Volume CLXI, Number 3, of Speculative Grammarian, April 2011 — Van Der Fort’s Guide to Field Linguistics by J. S. S. van der Fort / Rating: ƛƛƛƛ / ƛƛƛƛ (Underlyingly Good) (Read by Joey Whitford.)
Review Article: Carmichael, James Grant III. The Structure of Bee Communication.
January 25, 2013 13:08 - 2 minutes - 2.69 MBReview Article: Carmichael, James Grant III. The Structure of Bee Communication; by James Grant Carmichael III; From Volume I, Number 2, of World of Language, The Journal of the Linguistic Society of South-Central New Caledonia, February 1991 — Truly a breath of fresh air in the recently-stale field of animal communication studies, Carmichael’s book is a pure delight from page one. Apart from his lucidly clear prose and strikingly funny sense of humor, this highly respected author exhibits ch...
Reply to Kathman (Letter to the Editor)
January 18, 2013 13:08 - 1 minute - 1.39 MBReply to Kathman (Letter to the Editor); by William D. Pinkerton-Umlaut; From Volume XVI, Number 2, of Psammeticus Quarterly, February 1989 — Attn: Editors / I have never been so insulted as when I read Dave Kathman’s thoroughly unfounded attack on my work and character. I shall not even deign to defend my theories—any unbiased reader of my book will certainly see that they are well-founded and insightful. However, I must protest K’s depiction of my work as full of savage “ad hominem attacks”...
Review of Pinkerton-Umlaut’s Back to Basics: The Real Truth About Language
January 18, 2013 13:07 - 2 minutes - 2.68 MBReview of Pinkerton-Umlaut’s Back to Basics: The Real Truth About Language; by Dave Kathman; From Volume XVI, Number 1, of Psammeticus Quarterly, November 1988 — William D. Pinkerton-Umlaut: Back to Basics: The Real Truth About Language. Adelaide, Australia: Zyx Press, 1988. 547 pp. (Read by Trey Jones.)
Grey Duck or Goose?—Mapping variation in a children’s game in Minnesota
January 11, 2013 13:08 - 2 minutes - 1.82 MBGrey Duck or Goose?—Mapping variation in a children’s game in Minnesota; by Sven Slater and Ollie Bickford; From Volume CLXIII, Number 4, of Speculative Grammarian, January 2012 — Research Question / Last year, a new kid named Tyler P. joined our fourth grade class. Tyler was from Illinois or some other southern state, and she told us that down there kids play “duck, duck, goose,” instead of “duck, duck, grey duck” like we do here in Minnesota. We thought this was strange, even for the South,...
Language Made Difficult, Vol. XXII
January 04, 2013 18:00 - 38 minutes - 35.7 MBLanguage Made Difficult, Vol. XXII — The SpecGram LingNerds are joined yet again by Sheri Wells-Jensen. After some Lies, Damned Lies, and Linguistics, they discuss whether linguists make grammaticality judgements like "normal people", and confess more of their prescriptive tendencies.
Hymns for the Reverent Linguist
December 24, 2012 21:30 - 2 minutes - 2.53 MBHymns for the Reverent Linguist; from The Linguistick Hymnary (1845); From Volume CLXVI, Number 1, of Speculative Grammarian, November 2012. — Great is Thy Faithfulness; Typology, Typology; The Linguist’s One Foundation; Joy to the Word. (Performed by Jay and the Fictones.)
Language Made Difficult, Vol. XXI
December 06, 2012 23:18 - 38 minutes - 35.1 MBLanguage Made Difficult, Vol. XXI — The SpecGram LingNerds are joined by returning guest Sheri Wells-Jensen for Lies, Damned Lies, and Linguistics, and she sticks around for the rest of the show. They discuss the "reading level" of US Congressional speeches, and then they discuss the ins and outs of teaching linguistics at university.
A Preliminary Field Guide to Linguists, Part Two
November 25, 2012 13:08 - 5 minutes - 5.58 MBA Preliminary Field Guide to Linguists, Part Two; by Athanasious Schadenpoodle; From Volume CL, Number 2, of Speculative Grammarian, April 2005. — The previous installment, dealing with Neoplatonicus and Functionalisticus, comprised a brief discussion of the less problematic genera in the family--less problematic in the sense that their grouping is not contested among those working in this area. This section will deal with two groups whose taxonomic status is a matter of quite some debate; to...
Language Made Difficult, Vol. XX
November 05, 2012 12:08 - 48 minutes - 44.8 MBLanguage Made Difficult, Vol. XX — The SpecGram LingNerds are joined again by guest Madalena Cruz-Ferreira for Lies, Damned Lies, and Linguistics. They also discuss the spread of the -ome suffix and the biological approach to solving the riddle of the urheim of PIE. Finally, they discuss more questions and answers from comprehensive exams.
A Preliminary Field Guide to Linguists, Part One
October 25, 2012 12:08 - 9 minutes - 9.3 MBA Preliminary Field Guide to Linguists, Part One; by Athanasious Schadenpoodle; From Volume CL, Number 1, of Speculative Grammarian, January 2005. — While naturalists have long observed the behaviors of some of the better-known families within the Order Academica, producing for the lay person such fascinating and useful volumes as Jane's Guide to Physicists and The Sierra Club Picture Guide to Psychologists, the Family Linguistica has so far not been shown a great deal of attention. This is, ...