Showing Up To Life
740 episodes - English - Latest episode: about 2 months ago - ★★★★ - 7 ratingsA daily podcast for people who want to naturally reduce stress in their bodies and optimize themselves to THRIVE in their lives, and not merely survive.
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Episodes
EP 488: A Personal Story of Stress and Trauma
April 15, 2021 16:47 - 29 minutes - 52.4 MBAs I mentioned in yesterday’s post, it was not a very pleasant day for me. The night before, I’d been triggered by something that happened between my Wife and me. In the past, I’d have canceled all my appointments, skipped the podcast, and probably spent the day lying around watching TV. But because of the practices I share with you here every day, not only was I able to manage my workday and serve the people who were counting on me, I was also very importantly able to grow through the ex...
EP 487: We Experience Life in Our Own Nervous System
April 14, 2021 17:35 - 26 minutes - 46.7 MBEverything we experience, we experience within our own nervous system. The most simple example of this is to simply look at the nearest plant. As you look at the plant, you see green leaves with perhaps some flowers. But those leaves are not necessarily green! They appear green to you and me, simply by virtue of the capability of our own sensory organs and nervous systems, which limit the spectrum of light we can perceive. A dog would see shades of grey while a bumblebee sees electric g...
EP 486: Seeing the Shadow
April 13, 2021 15:54 - 33 minutes - 59.4 MB“Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.” -CG Jung As we grow up, we construct our moral compass around how we see those whom we look up to interacting with the world. For instance, my awesome older cousin was cool and collected and moved with steady confidence. So the jittery energy I felt in my body, the opposite of the coolness my cousin embodied, was something to be expelled and avoided at all costs! And so for many years, this o...
EP 485: How to Connect With Your Authentic Self
April 12, 2021 19:01 - 31 minutes - 57 MBAnytime we can operate from a place of our authentic self, we operate from the most optimized and capable place within us. The challenge becomes finding and connecting to this authentic self, what I like to call my Art-Ness. In today’s episode, I talk about how I lost sight of my Art-Ness through a childhood that was influenced by those people around me and their behavior: Of course, I also cover in today’s episode not only the ‘why’ for finding our authenticity, but perhaps more importan...
EP 484: The Semi-Formal Practice of RAIN
April 09, 2021 20:46 - 34 minutes - 61.2 MBWhenever we experience anything at all, we experience it in four specific ways: In our body, in the form of physical sensation… In our emotions… In our thoughts… And we experience things in our nervous system. This last one has a lot to do with the patterns and tendencies that arise from the programming that happens in our early childhood. In today’s episode, I walk through a traditional practice called RAIN: The acronym RAIN stands for Recognition, Acceptance, Investigation, and Non-...
EP 483: Don't Hurry, Be Happy
April 08, 2021 17:52 - 29 minutes - 53.7 MBBetween stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom. -Viktor Frankl This quote is so important to me!!! Back when I struggled with chronic stress, one of the strongest effects on me was the feeling that I never had enough time, no matter the circumstances. Even when I was on vacation, I felt like I always had to rush through everything. Back then, I saw life as just something that I needed to...
EP 482: Mindfulness and Hobbies
April 07, 2021 16:34 - 27 minutes - 49.6 MBFor so long, my life was all about just making it through the day. It was about survival. I know I wasn’t the only one, but the trouble with that approach to life is that as we just strive to make it through the day, we eventually just try to make it through the years, and that turns into just making it through an entire lifetime. But that’s not what this life is all about. I feel lucky to have learned this about 10 years ago, when I began my journey that would lead to being the guy who ...
EP 481: Did you see What Happened to Piers Morgan?
April 06, 2021 17:32 - 33 minutes - 59.9 MBA few weeks ago, in the wake of the bombshell interview members of the British Royal Family gave to Oprah Winfrey, Piers Morgan stormed off the set in an angry rage in the middle of a live broadcast. Now, most of the time this kind of headline or lead paragraph would be followed by words of ridicule and resentment. But this is the Showing up to Life Podcast!! And here we approach our topics with non-judging awareness and compassion! In today’s episode, I talk about what happened to Piers...
EP 480: Its All Bout Creating the Conditions for Happiness
April 05, 2021 19:43 - 37 minutes - 67.9 MBOver the weekend, in my Learning to Surf Meditation group, a discussion arose about the perils of chasing happiness. And while I didn’t agree entirely that happiness is not something we should cultivate for its own benefits, I did see some value in being cautious about what is known as Toxic Positivity. In today’s episode, I talk about the difference between toxic positivity - the avoidance of negative emotions - and the healthy drive towards happiness that is shared by all living beings: ...
EP 479: How to Practice Happiness
April 02, 2021 18:06 - 34 minutes - 62.6 MBWow! This might have been my favorite youtube/podcast week ever!!! What an amazing topic we’ve covered this week: How to Cultivate Happiness!!! In today’s episode, I go over a bunch of practices you can do, starting today, to help you cultivate all three levels of happiness we’ve discussed this week: I know it’s a lot of information! So if you have any questions at all; or if you simply want to chat about something else that’s on your mind, please click here to book a no-cost phone consu...
EP 478: How to Develop the Skill of Happiness - Level III
April 01, 2021 21:25 - 35 minutes - 63.4 MBToday is the day!!! The moment we’ve all been waiting for!!! For the past two days we’ve talked about a lot of happiness and I hope you’ve enjoyed it. In today’s episode I talk about the deepest, most sustainable level of happiness that comes from having a sense of purpose and meaning in your life: But, as I explain in the video, the purpose and meaning don’t have to be some grandiose actions. In fact, it’s even more effective to use the hundreds of micro-moments we have as opportunitie...
EP 477: How to Cultivate the Skill of Happiness - Level II
March 31, 2021 17:29 - 30 minutes - 54.1 MBAs we dig deeper into our natural state of happiness, this second level really relies on flexibility. This second level of happiness is based on a sense of stability and grounding in the world around us and the feeling that we are on pace with our goals and integrity. But this doesn’t mean that only people who fulfill lifelong goals can be happy! In fact, it’s quite the opposite. This level of happiness is more about adjusting and redefining our goals as we make our way through life. In...
EP 476: How to Cultivate the Skill of Happiness - Level I
March 30, 2021 19:42 - 29 minutes - 52.1 MBHappiness is a skill. Does that statement surprise you? I know I used to think it was the opposite: that happiness was a matter of circumstances aligning in a certain way. And they rarely aligned in that certain way for me! But the reality is that happiness is a simple skill that can be cultivated, from the inside, through practice. In today’s episode, I go into the first layer of happiness and how you can cultivate it: https://youtu.be/HHS-ynqIMOo But I also clearly state that negativ...
EP 475: Awareness Just for Awareness
March 29, 2021 20:56 - 26 minutes - 48.2 MBMost of the time, people come to the work of mindfulness, meditation, and compassion in order to address something in their life that needs ‘fixing’. For some, it’s about excelling in business... For others, it’s about managing anger and rage… Or it's about being happy… Or healing old wounds… Or many, many other reasons!!! But the thing is that this work doesn’t have to be about improving or fixing. (Even though healing and fixing happen through this work, for sure!) Today, I share a ...
EP 474: How to Notice and Manage a False Sense of Urgency
March 26, 2021 15:40 - 27 minutes - 48.7 MBWow! We’ve covered a lot this week! In today’s episode, I talk more about those ANTs and how recognizing them in the state of flow that comes from a playful and curious approach can help us to reframe some of the urgency we feel: Remembering that the ANTs are happening without our consent or our participation allows us to step back and question the vivid and detailed stories our thoughts create. This dis-identification of our thoughts - seeing them as phenomena of the body and not who we ...
EP 473: That Time I Realized I had ANTs in my Brain!
March 25, 2021 20:07 - 34 minutes - 60.9 MBOf course, there are no actual insects running around your brain! Have you ever heard of Automatic Negative Thoughts? Each day, the average human has 65,000 +/- thoughts. Each day contains 86,400 seconds. So even spending one second per thought would render you completely out of time for anything else! For this reason, the brain automates about 95% of those 65,000 thoughts that rush through your brain every day. And depending on what is going on for you, emotionally, at any given momen...
EP 472: How Curiosity in our Lives Opens us up to Playfulness
March 24, 2021 20:00 - 16 minutes - 28.9 MBSo many times, when we look at our work or other important endeavors, we become tense and fearful from the seriousness of it all. And this fear and tension get our minds to create stories that we believe. As we believe these stories of the ‘worst-case-scenario’, the stress levels rise and we become less effective at whatever it is we’re trying to do! In today’s episode, I talk about how we can employ simple curiosity to reverse all these negative impacts: Curiosity is opening and excitin...
EP 471: Mindfulness = Playfulness
March 23, 2021 17:13 - 18 minutes - 33.9 MBIt is with heaviness in my heart that I record this episode about lightness of heart. I know, that sounds really weird! But in today’s episode I talk about how bringing a measure of playfulness into our mindfulness practice can be very helpful: A lot of people come to mindfulness practice because of very serious issues in their lives. For some, it’s health concerns… For others, it’s family issues… And for still others, it’s performance at work that they wish to improve through these pr...
EP 470: What is Self Acceptance?
March 22, 2021 18:00 - 27 minutes - 49.3 MBAny time I bring up the concept of acceptance for the first time with someone, I am met with rolling eyes. Most people believe that by accepting things the way they are, it means we can never improve our lives in any way. And when we apply this concept to ourselves, well it seems outright ludicrous to most people! But the truth is that it is only through acceptance - of our circumstances or of ourselves - that we can ever hope to change anything at all. In today’s episode, I explain all ...
EP 469: What Happens When Intention and Compassion Meet?
March 19, 2021 17:24 - 29 minutes - 26.9 MBEarly this week, we talked about the benefit of compassion; later we talked about the value of intention. Well, today I want to talk about what happens when these two beneficial dynamics meet. In today’s episode, I illustrate this through another story from one of the people with whom I’m lucky to get to work: When we practice compassion and intention on a daily basis, through simple and brief exercises, these qualities become a natural emotional response to our experiences. In other wo...
EP 468: The Value of Intention
March 18, 2021 18:43 - 32 minutes - 30.5 MB“Where attention goes, energy flows” The first time I heard this statement, it really grabbed me. As you know, the very basis of mindfulness practices is paying attention. And when we set any kind of intention at all, we are paying attention to that intention we set for ourselves. The very instant we do this, we are automatically grounded in the present moment. Intention is a conscious action. And when we practice setting intentions in our lives, it is, by definition, a mindfulness prac...
EP 467: Transforming Anger With Compssion
March 17, 2021 17:19 - 36 minutes - 34.1 MBNow that we’ve talked about anger for a few days, let’s talk about something more comfortable and happy. How about compassion? Almost every time anger arises in our bodies, there is another person involved. Maybe it’s someone close to us, or it's an anonymous person cutting us off in traffic. Whatever the case may be, the key to transforming the hijack of anger and rage, is in feeling compassion for the people who trigger us. In today’s episode, I offer some simple, informal practices t...
EP 466: Recognizing and Regulating Anger
March 16, 2021 23:49 - 34 minutes - 32.1 MBI passed a sign on the street the other day that was advertising an anger management program, and I just had to roll my eyes. Of course, I’m not minimizing the difficulty that anger can cause and I sincerely hope that all the people who see that sign can get the help they need. Because I know the damage that chronic anger can cause… The damaged relationships… The lost jobs… The holes punched in the walls… The car damage caused by rage driving… I’ve seen all these and much more! And t...
EP 465: A personal story about stress, anger, compassion, and a day that wouldn't be ruined
March 15, 2021 19:20 - 29 minutes - 53.7 MBOne of the most valuable lessons mindfulness practices teaches us is to be flexible and accommodating in the face of circumstances that are beyond control. While most situations in our lives invite us to push through any obstacles, there’s nothing like a blizzard to remind us that we’re simply not always in control. In today’s episode, I tell a story about my experience early Friday morning that normally would have sent my entire day into a tailspin: If you’re interested in learning more ...
EP 464: Cognitive Dissonance
March 12, 2021 20:10 - 25 minutes - 45.7 MBThe term ‘Cognitive Dissonance’ applies to a contradiction between a belief or thought we might have, and information we learn that challenges these thoughts and beliefs. In today’s episode, I talk about what cognitive dissonance looks like in our lives, how we can resolve it in a healthy way, and how it relates to mindfulness. Many of our implicit biases are at play in cognitive dissonance, with the confirmation bias being the most pronounced. And cognitive dissonance is something that d...
Ep 463: The Science of Mindfulness
March 11, 2021 19:53 - 38 minutes - 68.7 MBI know I’ve told this story many times, but I think it helps to know that there is a scientific basis for the work I talk about in my podcast and youtube channel. In the early nineties, the Dalai Lama invited several Tibetan monks to come to the States and undergo studies with modern scientific methods and equipment. At the time, His Holiness asked one of my favorite neuroscientists, Richie Davidson, to use these methods and equipment to study healthy and thriving brains, as opposed to the...
EP 462: What do Gut Instincts, Generational Cycles, and a Rigged Card Game Have in Common?
March 10, 2021 19:02 - 38 minutes - 69.5 MBWe often hear - and speak - about the terms ‘Gut Instinct’ and ‘Generational Cycles.’ But do we really know what they mean and how they are connected? Well, in today’s episode, I talk about this connection with what I hope is just enough science to help you understand. As we develop our awareness through the simple daily practices I talk about every day, two really big things start to happen as it relates to this innate knowledge of our nervous system. First, we start to hear this inner v...
EP 461: How to Know When You've Been Triggered
March 09, 2021 19:13 - 32 minutes - 59.2 MBWhen we dwell in the present moment, with a measure of acceptance, compassion, and curiosity, we reduce the static interference that’s created by our thoughts, attachments, and aversions. Without this static interference, we gain what could be called a high definition view of our experiences. This includes our inner experience, on an emotional level; and it includes our external experiences as well. In this clear awareness, we gain the ultimate power that changes our life: regulation. Be...
EP 460: The Opportunities That Come With Conscious Arriving
March 08, 2021 21:19 - 31 minutes - 57.4 MBI wanted to follow up on the post I made last week about arriving and arising. Just like almost all the topics I discuss here, consciously arriving, with intention, is a practice that will bear abundant fruits. But just like any other practice, it only works when you do it with repetition. So what is to gain by consciously arriving with intention? In today’s episode, I illustrate a few points through a simple story: So you can see that practicing arriving will lead to: More intention… ...
EP 459: The Importance of Recognizing our Habits and Patterns
March 05, 2021 22:56 - 26 minutes - 48.5 MBWhen we say that 95% or more of our thoughts, emotions, and actions are a product of our unconscious patterns of habit, we’re including even the most basic physical aspect of how our bodies process the food we eat. Yes, even this becomes habitual! In today’s episode, I share a personal story about weight gain and loss and how it’s all impacted by the habits of my body and mind: Of course, this also applies, personally for me, to anger. But just as my proclivity towards weight gain does n...
EP 458: How to Develop the Skill of Happiness
March 04, 2021 19:07 - 34 minutes - 62.6 MBFor most of my life, I always thought that happiness happened in one of two ways: Either you were simply born happy. Or you had such a ‘good life’ that you were happy by default. But, as I’ve told you before, shortly after I started practicing mindfulness, I found myself being happy for no reason at all. Recently, I went about searching for the answer to a simple, yet significant question: What is happiness? You know me… I wanted some hard science to help me understand this state that ...
EP 457: How to Process - NOT Prevent - Your Negative Emotions
March 03, 2021 18:50 - 29 minutes - 53.8 MBAs I thought about yesterday’s post, the concept of allowing our emotions to arise and then letting them go, I realized I waded into potentially troubling waters. So I wanted to be super clear on some details. When we try to bypass our negative emotions, we open ourselves up to consequences far stronger and damaging than the original emotion ever was! Now, to be sure, positive psychology and the purposeful cultivation of positive emotions is real and very valuable. And, as I explain in t...
Ep 456: How to Pay Attention to Arriving
March 02, 2021 21:13 - 28 minutes - 35.1 MBSo often, we tend to say things like: ‘What a bad and difficult day this has been!’ Now, I don’t mean to diminish any difficulty you may have experienced during the day, but are you sure the whole day was difficult? Or is it more accurate to say that a few things were difficult and these few stand out experiences are coloring your perception of the whole day? Because the reality is that life doesn’t happen day by day. Nor does life happen week by week, month by month, or year by year. L...
EP 455: Curiosity = Non-Judging Awareness
March 01, 2021 20:45 - 28 minutes - 51.8 MBWhen I talk to people about non-judging awareness, it’s sometimes hard for them to grasp what I really mean by the term. Of course, this has a lot to do with how we’re conditioned in society to judge EVERY experience. A headache, for instance, is bad, according to the people who make ibuprofen. A new car is good, according to the maker of new cars. Of course, when talking about advertising, it’s easy to see the motivation: to get you to buy something you may or may not really need. What...
EP 454: The Many Benefits of Mindfulness Practices
February 26, 2021 16:39 - 28 minutes - 51.8 MBWhen we talk about mindfulness practices addressing stress and emotional reactivity, it’s mostly focused on gaining a sort of baseline functionality. Well, in today’s episode, I do my best 1980’s infomercial impression and tell you ‘Wait! There’s more!’ Because the truth is that when we cultivate the attitudes of presence, acceptance, compassion, and curiosity, every single aspect of our lives becomes deeper and more fulfilling. And I mean everything! From our romantic relationships to t...
EP 453: Yoga, Rock & Roll, and Trail Markers for our Lives
February 25, 2021 22:24 - 31 minutes - 57.2 MB“I think it’s important to have some one thing you can work on, on a more or less daily basis, and be able to see improvement in your own terms that is a result only of your own energy being put into the thing… It keeps you centered to something.” -Jerry Garcia, 1976 TV Interview I’ll post the link below to this perhaps surprising interview. But this is what Jerry replied to the question that he has said before that music is his Yoga. The Yoga that most people in the West are familiar wi...
EP 452: How to Show up, no Matter How You Might Feel
February 24, 2021 19:58 - 34 minutes - 62.4 MBI made a ton of announcements in today’s episode. And all the pertinent links are below. But I also talked about an important aspect of our daily lives that I illustrated through a personal story and the story I’d hear told by a Rock and Roll Legend! Life has its ups and downs, and so do our bodies. And in our down cycles and rhythms, our energy wanes. In these times, it’s very enticing to want to pull the covers over our heads and just take the day off. While the occasional day off for...
EP 451: How to Develop Self Confidence
February 23, 2021 22:07 - 29 minutes - 53.5 MBAs we practice mindfulness and develop the skills to be present, accepting, compassionate, and curious, we cultivate a keen level of self awareness. Self awareness allows us to self-regulate. It’s not that we’re aware of some secret mechanism to regulate our bodies and nervous systems. It’s more about perspective. In today’s episode, I use the example of a Rottweiler. A full grown Rottweiler is a big and scary dog. In fact, trained the right way, it could quite literally kill an adult h...
EP 450: The Habit of Emotions
February 22, 2021 19:56 - 30 minutes - 54.2 MBI am very fortunate to get to teach the methods and practices of mindfulness and compassion to a lot of people. And I always giggle when it seems, to almost everyone, that this is when we 'start’ practice. Of course, it’s true that this is when people start ‘This’ practice. But it’s also very true that we’ve all been practicing something for our whole lives. And whatever we’ve been practicing our whole lives has become our automatic emotional reaction. In today’s episode, I talk about t...
EP 449: How to be The Authentic You
February 19, 2021 21:40 - 26 minutes - 47 MBGrowing up as a child, and well into my adulthood, I realize now, I was always trying to be what I thought others wanted me to be. I came to realize that it wasn’t even just one me! In fact, like most people, I found that I had all these different roles in my life and that each one of them seemed to require a different version of me. And so I indulged this ‘requirement’ and I played the roles and became the person - or people! - I thought I needed to be. But through my own mindfulness pr...
EP 448: Allowing Life to Happen
February 18, 2021 19:57 - 27 minutes - 50.4 MBIn many ways, we all live our life based on certain unconscious expectations. We expect the weather to be a certain way. We expect people to behave in a certain way. We expect the train to arrive at a certain time. And when we dwell in these expectations, we set ourselves up for trouble. Because we all know that at some point, something is not going to meet our expectations. When this happens, we will tend to judge the experience in a way that sets us up for clinging or aversion. At t...
EP 447: Changing the World Around You Begins With Changing the World Inside You.
February 17, 2021 21:10 - 31 minutes - 29 MBThe first time I was on an airplane, I was confounded by the instructions of the flight attendant that parents should put their own oxygen mask on before assisting their children. And this confusion only grew more severe when I had kids of my own. Like most parents, I would do anything for my kids! And yet, I was being told to do this absurdly selfish thing! But I eventually realized the reason for this: If I lose consciousness while trying to save my child, neither of us survive. This ...
Ep 446: Patience: How to cultivate it and why.
February 16, 2021 21:03 - 29 minutes - 52.6 MBOf all the amazing benefits of mindfulness and heartfulness practices that I talk about here, the one benefit that is probably more beneficial to our lives than all others is the ability to be patient. Patience can mean the difference between shouting at a child and teaching that child an important lesson. Patience can be the difference between a successful meeting with someone and a missed opportunity. And it can mean the difference between a happy day and a day that is hijacked by stres...
EP 445: A Simple Way to Practice Presence (And Why it's Beneficial)
February 15, 2021 21:23 - 35 minutes - 63.2 MBOur brains crave the familiar. Such a simple sentence, yet there is so much to unpack! Because the confounding aspect of that statement is that the brain craves the familiar even when the familiar is uncomfortable or detrimental to our well being. In today’s episode, I talk about why our brains do this and the effects (positive and negative) that result. Mindfulness is all about bringing intentional presence to what it is we’re doing. It’s about sensing, in real time, that this familiar...
EP 444: Social Media Compassion
February 12, 2021 20:49 - 40 minutes - 72.5 MBSomething pretty amazing happened yesterday that illustrates really well what I covered last week when I talked about social media consumption. Not only that, but it also illustrates the wonderful working of the Vagus Nerve. I had posted a simple message to Facebook yesterday: “It is not the experience that makes us suffer. It is the unwillingness to accept the experience that makes us suffer.” This is a statement of universal truth and I know it will apply to every extent of suffering. ...
EP 443: How to be Happy for no Reason
February 11, 2021 20:07 - 34 minutes - 61.8 MBI always thought that happiness was something that was out there somewhere and if I wanted it, I’d need to go get it. I thought happiness existed in the car, or the job, or the new gadget, or the certain relationship with that one special person. But last year, something really interesting happened to me. In the midst of the coronavirus lockdown, when we couldn’t buy toilet paper or pasta; when my income was slashed and my wife had to go to work full time; when I was stuck inside the hous...
EP 442: The Vagus Nerve and how it can Affect Your Well-Being
February 10, 2021 23:50 - 31 minutes - 55.4 MBIn today’s episode, I talk about this amazing nerve we have in our body called the Vagus Nerve. Believe it or not, The Vagus Nerve has nothing at all to do with how you feel at a blackjack table! It’s actually the longest nerve in your body, starting at the base of your brain and wrapping around all the vital organs below your pelvis. The Vagus Nerve connects the three ‘Minds’ of our bodies: The Brain, The Heart, and The Gut; and it is responsible for a vast array of health benefits or de...
EP 441: The Defference Between Fear and Awareness of Danger (And why it Matters!)
February 09, 2021 21:25 - 34 minutes - 61.4 MBFear says: “Don’t go out tonight. There’s ice all over the sidewalks and you might get hurt!” Awareness of danger says: “Sure there is ice out there, but that full moon is beautiful and taking a walk will be magical! So be careful!” You see, fear is an emotion that is almost always rooted in the future. You feel the emotion of fear when you think about an outcome. Awareness of danger is almost always rooted in the present moment. You are aware of something that could hurt you right now....
Ep 440: Now is the Only Time There Really is
February 08, 2021 20:59 - 36 minutes - 64.8 MBThe other day, I was preparing a cup of tea and I realized what a great opportunity it was to recognize and explain the present moment. As I poured the cup of boiling water into the cup, carefully tore open the wrapper for the teabag, and set it to steep, this was all happening now, in the present moment. Then, about 10-15 minutes later, I came back to this cup that was at this point filled with delicious tea, and I took the first sip. This also happened ‘now’ in the present moment. But w...
EP 439: You Are What You Consume
February 05, 2021 20:38 - 30 minutes - 55.2 MBEarlier this week, we talked about how the emotional energy inside each of us has an impact on those with whom we interact. This is part of our intuitive capabilities and is extremely valuable in many ways. Like when you meet someone new, you have an innate sense of trust or distrust within seconds. And when we train ourselves to pay attention to this intuition, we can make adjustments to our interpersonal relationships in the interest of our well-being. While this is all very important,...