Save Your Sanity - Help for Toxic Relationships
475 episodes - English - Latest episode: about 2 months ago - ★★★★★ - 44 ratingsThe Save Your Sanity podcast offers episodes filled with the expert insights, validation, strategies, and support you need to recognize, manage, and recover from relationships with the relentlessly difficult, toxic--and often disturbing--people that host Dr. Rhoberta Shaler calls Hijackals®.
She offers invaluable help to stop the second-guessing, undermining, and crazy-making traits, patterns, and cycles you have encountered in relationships with folks like those. Understand the ways, whys, and hows that verbal abuse, emotional abuse, and spiritual abuse affect you over time. Whether the Hijackal is a partner, parent, ex, or colleague, what you will learn here will strengthen and empower you to step up, speak up, and stand up for yourself in healthy, assertive ways.
Many Hijackals have behaviors that are considered the same as those who are diagnosed as narcissists, borderlines, psychopaths, sociopaths, and histrionic personality disorder. These insights will help you to make the changes--and good decisions--to move from pain to power, and that's exactly what you want to do! Listen now.
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Episodes
Resentment Creates Rage & Repression. Not Good!
March 07, 2023 04:55 - 34 minutes - 27.6 MBIt's SO helpful to recognize the underlying resentments triggered in both a Hijackal AND their partner. Some may surprise you! Recognition leads to understanding which helps you to know your next best steps. Resentment is rife in all relationships with Hijackals...on both sides, too. You may feel it. Now, explore why and what's under that. Why? So you move forward wisely. Both Hijackals--those relentlessly difficult people with narcissistic tendencies--and the person with whom they share a ...
Resentment Creates Rage & Repression. Not Good!
March 07, 2023 04:55 - 34 minutes - 27.6 MBIt's SO helpful to recognize the underlying resentments triggered in both a Hijackal AND their partner. Some may surprise you! Recognition leads to understanding which helps you to know your next best steps. Resentment is rife in all relationships with Hijackals...on both sides, too. You may feel it. Now, explore why and what's under that. Why? So you move forward wisely. Both Hijackals--those relentlessly difficult people with narcissistic tendencies--and the person with whom they share a ...
Why It's Healthiest to Focus on Yourself, Not on the Narcissist
February 28, 2023 05:13 - 31 minutes - 25.3 MBDon't Lose or Abandon Yourself! Narcissistic people want all the attention as well as all the air in the room, right? You can find yourself giving it to them in hopes of them treating you better or liking/loving you more. Turn this around. Listen in to why you need to turn the focus on yourself and turn away from trying to please the narcissist. This episode is very specifically focused on your relationship with a Hijackal, or any narcissistic person. It is based on the dynamic that the Hi...
Why Being With a Hijackal is Like Juggling Jello
February 21, 2023 05:17 - 26 minutes - 21.1 MBNo Object Constancy Creates Constant Threats Object constancy is very much missing in a relationship with a narcissistic Hijackal, and it's an essential ingredient of a healthy relationship. In this episode, I explain what it is and what happens when it's missing. Does your relationship feel like juggling jello? It will if you have a Hijackal in it!!! Learn how to see and understand what's missing in your relationship that causes SO much tension and second-guessing. You may be blaming you...
SELF-DOUBT
February 14, 2023 05:02 - 29 minutes - 23.7 MBBeing with a narcissist or any Hijackal is exhausting! You really want to believe they love you and yet to scramble to find even little shards of evidence. Then, you make the shards sound like a whole thing, right? You second-guess yourself...because a Hijackal WANTS you to feel uncertain and confused. Listen in and recognize how and that this is happening, SO you can stop it!!! Self-doubt means you lose faith and confidence in yourself and your abilities. You can also start questioning you...
No Empathy = No Intimacy!
February 07, 2023 05:39 - 29 minutes - 23.7 MBYou look for signs that someone cares. You long for signs they love you, right? So any little glimmer seems hopeful. Yet, you feel alone, demeaned, dismissed, and ignored in so many ways. That's a problem! In this episode, you'll learn more about why you cannot find the emotional intimacy you crave with an empathy-deficient person, a Hijackal who is narcissistic.. And, what you need to know to make good decisions about it, too. p.s. ALL Hijackals are narcissistic! Hijackal® is my term for ...
Why You Can't Know, Like & Trust a Narcissistic Hijackal
January 31, 2023 05:14 - 26 minutes - 21.1 MBThey keep you guessing, don't they? Narcissists--and all Hijackals--like to keep you in uncertainty, chaos, and confusion. You HOPE you know them, and then they make you question it. Can you rely on them? Only for one thing...and, I tell you about that ONE thing in this episode along with many signs showing you that it is unwise to trust a narcissistic person even you want to believe you know and like them. Honesty is a big question when you're in a relationship with a Hijackal, as well...
Do You Have an Emotional Terrorist in Your Life?
January 24, 2023 04:57 - 32 minutes - 25.8 MBPartner? Parent? Sibling? Child? Someone holding you as an emotional hostage? SEE THE SIGNS! You may be making excuses for their behavior, and not seeing their destructive, manipulative ways. You need to clearly recognize these signs of emotional terrorists in action so you can clearly refuse to let them take you hostage. You can become a hostage so slowly that you actually did so willingly. You thought it was compromise, collaboration, and the loving thing to do. You may not have thought...
Feel Lonely WITH Your Partner?
January 17, 2023 06:23 - 33 minutes - 26.8 MBRecognize These Sure Signs They Are Emotionally Unavailable ...AND, it's not your fault! You can feel VERY lonely in a supposedly close relationship. You do everything you can to close the gap, yet nothing works. This episode will help you see what's up, and why it's a THEM problem, and not a YOU problem. Valuable to know so you won't lose sleep! Recognizing the signs of emotional unavailability can relieve you of thinking you're not doing enough, or not good enough. That's GOOD NEWS! HIG...
20 Ways Childhood Trauma Shows Up In Your Adult Life
January 10, 2023 06:28 - 39 minutes - 31.7 MBWonder why you do what you do? Feel like you feel? What shaped you? Listen to this episode and check for these twenty ways you could be feeling and behaving that are result of things you may not even think about in your childhood. Good step towards enhanced emotional well-being. It's NOT direct cause and effect. People and events in your early life CAN lead to the way your feel about yourself in relationship in your later life. Important to recognize so that you can make conscious decision...
Got Peace? 8 Must-Haves for Emotional Well-Being
January 03, 2023 05:38 - 34 minutes - 27.6 MBAre you focused on a Hijackal and not on yourself? That's just what the Hijackal wants you to do. Time for focus on your own internal well-being. In this episode, you'll hear 8 MUST HAVES, and, more importantly, WHY they are an essential place to start when you're feeling put down, worn down, and torn down by a narcissistic Hijackal. Regain your center. Reclaim your power...and rebuild your life. Sound good? Great! You'll be on a good path to healthier relationships with yourself and other...
Why Gaslighting Sadly is the Word of the Year for 2022
December 27, 2022 06:43 - 23 minutes - 18.5 MBIt's a sad turn of events when a way of misleading and manipulating people is the word of the year for Merriam-Webster. It's TOO much. It's emotional abuse. It's TOO frequent. Have you been gaslighted? Do you wonder if you're experiencing it? It can begin very subtly, and you might feel a little flattered...or close. Slowly it becomes more persistent, and you might start second-guessing yourself and questioning your sanity. That's when you NEED to KNOW it's GASLIGHTING! HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS...
How & Why Hijackals Reject Equality
December 20, 2022 05:15 - 27 minutes - 22.1 MBSo frustrating, disappointing, and infuriating! Hijackals will NOT allow you to be equal in all the ways that count in a relationship. They reject it. It helps you to see it when you hear how and why it happens. You can feel it, for sure, but SO MUCH BETTER to know what's up, right? Ever have the lingering feeling that the person you have in mind right now is not interested in ever letting you feel good enough? Be right? Get what you want? That's because of underlying inequality in many cas...
Hijackals® = Masters of Bait & Switch
December 13, 2022 04:39 - 31 minutes - 24.9 MBPromises! Proclamations! Pronouncements of just what you want to hear. Does it happen as promised? No! See tactics for what they are: ways to get you stay, or get you onside, or get around you. SO important to recognize the bait & switch as it's happening. This episode helps you do just that! Hijackals use "Bait & Switch" tactics to get you to stay, to get off their backs, to get you onside with them, and to keep you fooled. Oh, NO! That can't go on any longer. See the tactics clearly for ...
Handling the Horrors of Hijackal In-Laws
December 06, 2022 05:30 - 34 minutes - 27.5 MBWhether they are your in-laws--parents or siblings, or your adult children's in-laws, you can feel frustrated, infuriated, diminished, dismissed, or downright denied by in-laws you need to be right and want to be in control. It can tear your relationships apart. Worse, it can tear YOU apart! In this episode, you'll learn to recognize subtle and in-your-face screaming signs that Hijackal in-laws won't be ignored. Learn some ways to handle the horrors of Hijackal in-laws. Direct emotional ab...
Any Chance You're Addicted to the Drama?
November 29, 2022 04:56 - 30 minutes - 24.8 MBYou need to consider whether or not you're addicted to the drama of being with a Hijackal or any other relentlessly difficult person. You may not have ever thought about it that way, BUT it's SO important to check out whether or not you ARE ADDICTED to drama. This is something you can change!!! Is your life an emotional rollercoaster? Good sign there is drama involved! HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE: Checklist of addiction to drama from the book, Soul Solitude by Dr. Rhoberta Shaler and G....
Are You Overcoming Codependence?
November 22, 2022 18:07 - 34 minutes - 27.7 MBGood for you! Recognizing codependent self-talk is a super important part of overcoming unhealthy emotional reliance on others...particularly those Hijackal others!!! Reflect on these ten things you may be in the habit of telling yourself, and change your habits to healthier ones. You are important. Your needs are important to know and to express. You are not selfish for keeping a balance between compassion for yourself and compassion for others! HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE: How codepend...
Why You Might Be Afraid to Leave an Emotional Abuser
November 15, 2022 05:37 - 27 minutes - 21.7 MBLeaving an emotional abuser is taxing, difficult, and brave. So many considerations! And, if you have children, so many more. When you're with a Hijackal, you can be too trauma-bonded to see your way clearly to dinner time, let alone to see your way to leaving. In this episode, I offer many considerations that can seem daunting...at first. Breaking them down makes it more apparent what might be holding you back from leaving an emotionally abusive situation, whether that is with a partner, p...
Is All or Nothing Thinking RUINING Your Relationship?
November 08, 2022 04:26 - 32 minutes - 25.8 MBUnderstanding how "all or nothing" or "black and white" thinking divides your relationship and reduces the possibilities for growing towards each other is EYE-OPENING. It's always lurking in a Hijackal relationship, and being ready to do it differently can be GAME-CHANGING. In this episode, explore the how's and why's, as well as the what-to-do's when this "splitting" occurs. Black & white thinking leaves you feeling confused, uncertain, and fearful.NO MORE! HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE: ...
Hooked On HOPE a Hijackal Will Change?
November 01, 2022 05:39 - 26 minutes - 21 MBYou'll be hoping for a very long time, and is that OK with you? If you're giving yourself excuses to take action, hoping a Hijackal will change is often at the top of that list. Listen to the episode to see this all more clearly.. Don't abandon yourself by giving your life over to being hooked on hope! Hooked on hope actually means "addicted to the expectation for something you desire to happen." That might help you see the problem. HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE: Why there is little hope a...
How & Why to STOP ENABLING a Hijackal
October 25, 2022 03:43 - 38 minutes - 30.8 MBYou are likely anxious, feeling unsafe, angry, and exhausted from life with a relentless difficult Hijackal. Understanding enabling and knowing how to stop--beginning with small ways--is important for your well-being and mental health. You likely never meant to become an enabler. It happens slowly. And, just as slowly, you abandon yourself in favor of meeting the needs and taking responsibility for the actions of another person. See the enabling clearly, and use these 10 Ways to find your ...
Dealing with EMPATHY-DEFICIENT People
October 18, 2022 04:59 - 37 minutes - 29.8 MBThere's that person who seems incapable--and, also unwilling--to ever put themselves in your shoes, right? Or, that person who doesn't want to hear anything about you and always returns the conversation to themselves? Or, that person who could care less that you are hurting, celebrating, or anything in between? They may be empathy-deficient. I'm sharing some ways to know if that's a pattern, and who they really are. HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE: 3 kinds of empathy what it means to have an ...
Don't Be Sucked In By Future Faking!
October 11, 2022 03:47 - 27 minutes - 22.4 MB"OK, Babe, I promise you the world." But, what about delivery? Learn more about how Hijackals trick you into believing they are GOING TO do something, or WANT the same things you want. It's Future Faking! It's SO important to see the patterns, and sometimes, when you've been worn down and torn down by living in a toxic relationship, you simply don't see them. Future Faking is important to recognize. It can make the difference between staying and going! HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE: What Fu...
BEWARE! Why Hijackals Generalize, Globalize & Gloss Over
October 04, 2022 03:46 - 27 minutes - 21.7 MBHijackals will do whatever they think they need to do to "win" in any moment. Generalizing, globalizing and glossing over information is a strategy--a trick--they use to go for that "win." Once you clearly see it, you will be able to counteract it, but you may not be recognizing it quite yet. This episode will expose the trick and the tactics. Feel bullied in a conversation with a narcissistic person? This could be why. .HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE: Why Hijackals--narcissistic people--hav...
Working Through the GRIEF & RELIEF of Leaving a Hijackal
September 27, 2022 05:31 - 31 minutes - 24.9 MBIt can be such a rollercoaster! Whether you're thinking about leaving, or have left, you can run between grief and relief. Knowing how to think it through and work it through makes the journey back to healthy living more possible. Yes, you may be all over the place, AND it's OK. Use these insights and strategies to make it through. Leaving an abusive relationship, healing begins once you've left. Recovery takes much longer. .HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE: What "Complicated Grief" is Fears ...
Going NO CONTACT!
September 20, 2022 03:36 - 34 minutes - 27.8 MBUse my "Get to NO Guilt" Strategies in this episode. You often don't get much support for going no contact with the relentlessly difficult people in your world. Folks project their sense of guilt on you. Don't let that sabotage what's best for your well-being! In this episode, It's time to do it! You matter! You need to take good care of yourself, and a Hijackal will never help you do that. That's why sometimes the only thing to do is to stop all contact and communication. It's not easy, bu...
Circular Conversation. Crazy-Making
August 30, 2022 05:39 - 30 minutes - 24.8 MBSo many parallels to being in a blender!. Those conversations that go round and round and get you right back to focusing on the Hijackal. Crazy-Making indeed. Let's recognize those circular, get-us-nowhere-good interactions and know how to exit them somewhat safely. Involved in repeated arguments that never resolve anything? Feel like you're talking to the wall? Is it always your fault? See the patterns in your relationship after listening to this episode, and begin to remove yourself from...
Some Parents Can't Love
August 23, 2022 05:41 - 37 minutes - 30.2 MBHaving a parent who could not love is NO reflection on your lovability! As a child, you couldn't know this. So, it became part of the fabric of who you think you are. It's NOT YOUR FAULT! Listen in to recognize what happened to you, and how it may be affecting your self-esteem and relationships. It could begin to change everything for you! Narcissistic, passive-aggressive parents are self-absorbed. Even if they have something to give you, they will withhold it, or take it for themselves. H...
Know a Histrionic Hijackal? A Demanding Drama King or Queen?
August 16, 2022 04:13 - 33 minutes - 27.2 MBWhat a performance! Do you ever shake your head as you watch? And, they all too often get their way because you don't see what they're about, nor what they're up to. See them clearly so you can stop being their adoring audience! When you're with a person with histrionic tendencies, you have season tickets to a one-person show. It's exhausting. Once you see those shenanigans for the attention-seeking devices they are, you'll give up your seats to the show...or, at least, stop applauding or m...
Why Trauma-Bonding is SO Confusing
August 09, 2022 05:26 - 28 minutes - 23.1 MBAm I in love or trauma-bonded? Did my parents love me or was I trauma-bonded? Essential to know! Understanding trauma-bonding--what it looks like, sounds like, and feels like--can help you end the confusion and see clearly. Then, you can make good decisions about the Hijackals in your life and choose healthy relationships. Trauma-bonding is addictive, and it takes strength and courage to turn away. You CAN DO IT! HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE: What is trauma-bonding Why you can be confused...
Hijackals NEED to Play Victim
August 02, 2022 05:03 - 30 minutes - 24.2 MBOh, the webs Hijackals weave to trap you into their fabric! One of those is playing the victim, and another is the "you don't care enough for me" one. Sounds familiar? Learn more about the subtle and obvious ways they try to keep you trapped. Oh, yes, they will do anything for attention and to bring the spotlight to themselves! What better way than to play "poor me?" The victim. The one who NEVER gets their needs meet, or their voice heard. So sad. SO NOT TRUE! Yet, it happens over and over...
Steps to Overcoming the Emotional Fatigue Caused By a Hijackal
July 26, 2022 05:46 - 40 minutes - 32.5 MBYou know it. You're exhausted. Emotionally exhausted. You may have backed down so far that you feel like you're playing dead. Energy depleted and wondering where to find some. First understand more about the symptoms of emotional exhaustion. Then, how to take steps to slowly find the energy---and motivation--to make some positive changes. Slowly regain some energy to move towards positive possibilities for yourself and your children. Recognize causes & symptoms of emotional exhaustion. ...
10 Things You Will NEVER Get From a Hijackal Human
July 12, 2022 05:02 - 33 minutes - 26.5 MBHijackal Humans are different than Healthier Humans. You look to them to think, think & feel the way you do, but they don't. Know these 10 things you hope are going to show up in your relationship with a narcissistic Hijackal Human will not. Because you're likely a Healthier Human, you want to believe a Hijackal will change. Sadly, no. The relationship will never be healthy, balanced, and loving. It's not what a Hijackal wants! HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE: Why you will never get equality ...
10 Shattering Signs Your Partner is Having an Emotional Affair
June 28, 2022 03:31 - 31 minutes - 25.5 MB"Oh, we're just friends." You want to believe that, but how do you know if it's true. Here's how to tell if that "friendship" IS emotional infidelity, an emotional affair, and/or just plain cheating. Don't be fooled. See & believe these signs!!! It's tempting to believe them, especially because then you don't have to feel the feelings or take action. BUT, doing so is unhealthy! HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE: What an emotional affair really is Is it cheating? Why Hijackals (relentlessly di...
How Emotional Abuse Creates Fear of Rejection
June 21, 2022 04:51 - 31 minutes - 25.2 MBFind yourself afraid you're not good enough? You won't be hired? You won't be wanted? Loved? Accepted? Fear of rejection may be the culprit underlying those thoughts. SO IMPORTANT to recognize so you can overcome the fears that may be holding you back from healthier relationships with yourself and others...including the NASTY Hijackals! Recognize the limitations that the fear of rejection creates in your life, so you can reject it! No need to allow that fear to rule. See it. Reject it. Chan...
Recognizing How GASLIGHTING is Intentionally Crazy-Making
June 14, 2022 03:51 - 32 minutes - 26 MBBit by bit, you start to second-guess yourself, and even question your sanity. Gaslighting will do that! Learn what it is and how to recognize even the most subtle forms. ALSO, gaslighting is emotional abuse. So, see it so you can stop it from making you crazy! Gaslighting is emotional abuse and psychological manipulation. NOT GOOD! The sooner you see the more subtle forms as well as the more obvious forms of gaslighting, the sooner you'll step back and reclaim your self-confidence. May not...
Dealing with Hijackal Lies: Pathological & Natural
June 07, 2022 04:57 - 38 minutes - 30.5 MBLies of any kind undermine trust. Big difference between folks who decide to lie and those who don't. Learn how you can respond effectively, though it may not stop the lying. Learn the distinction between natural & pathological liars. It's a big one! But, does it make a difference when you're on the receiving end of it? HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE: Why people lie Why Hijackals think you'll finally believe their lies. (Do you?) How they lie about the most important thing: love Dif...
How to Safely Read Narcissistic Hijackal Smiles & Smirks
May 31, 2022 04:57 - 35 minutes - 28.7 MBCan you trust a smile? How do you read a smirk? What's the difference? What do they mean? When dealing with narcissistic Hijackals, you REALLY need to know! Learn about detecting signs of danger. Know when you need to protect yourself. Know when it's safe to connect (and, it rarely is when you have a Hijackal partner, parent, sibling, or adult child, sadly) HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE: The confusing clash of non-verbal cues from Hijackals The difference between a genuine smile and a "soci...
How Hijackals (Narcissists) Keep You Hooked By Mixed Messages
May 24, 2022 05:17 - 26 minutes - 21 MBYes? No? Maybe? Someday? Your head can be spinning! What to believe? How to decide? What to pay attention to? MIXED MESSAGES keep you hooked, questioning your sanity, and second-guessing yourself. One thing you CAN BE CLEAR about: you need to see those mixed message for what they are: CONTROL. It's tempting to focus on the parts of a mixed message that you SO want to be true. You can fool yourself that way. And, you'll suffer. Hopefully, this episode will help you with insights to stop all ...
How You Are Manipulated By a Narcissist's Voice
May 17, 2022 04:24 - 31 minutes - 25.4 MBWhether you have a Hijackal parent, partner, sibling, or other of the narcissistic variety, knowing how they manipulate you with their voices is important to recognize. AND, they only do some of that manipulating consciously. Once you're aware of these important cues, you can refuse to be affected. GREAT! This episode will help you see how you're being subconsciously affected by the tone, pace, volume, and other cues that a Hijackal gives through their voice. HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE: H...
6 Nasty Ways Hijackals Perpetrate Post-Separation Abuse
May 10, 2022 05:06 - 34 minutes - 27.6 MBRelief! Yes, you think you'll feel it when you leave an emotionally abusive relationship, and you will...in some ways. Then, in too many ways, the Hijackal is likely to do everything possible to exert continued control over you...and, over your children. Eight ways Hijackals continue to exert control. Is it happening to you? (NOTE: This episode ends abruptly due to technical issues.) HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE: How domestic violence and domestic abuse can continue after separation What p...
Saying No to "Shoulds" & Toxic Shame
May 03, 2022 03:42 - 36 minutes - 29 MBWho has told you what to do and how to do it? Who told you who you are and what you're worth? Did it include "shoulds" and shame? So important to recognize because it may be still playing a part in your life. Also, others can still tap into it, especially Hijackals. So many ways that narcissists and other Hijackals want to exert power over you, and do it by continuously shaming you, making you wrong, small, guilt-ridden, and diminished! Toxic shaming is one of those ways. See it clearly so...
Why Hijackals Traffic in Guilt
April 26, 2022 04:55 - 37 minutes - 30.3 MBPeople have learned that making another person feel guilty is a quick way to control that person's emotions...negatively. You may be so used to it and you haven't questioned whether or not you've actually done what you are being accused of. OR, even more sad, you've been blamed so many times you've begun to feel that EVERYTHING IS YOUR FAULT. That's what happened when a healthier human spends to long with a Hijackal parent, partner, OR WORSE, both! Clearly see this damaging tactic for what...
Expectations, Agreements & Boundaries
April 19, 2022 06:42 - 31 minutes - 51.1 MBWhen you're dealing with narcissistic Hijackals, you think one thing is in place, and the Hijackal thinks another. You think you have agreement and you sadly learn you don't. And, boundaries! SO important. Be clear what they are and how to manage them. Hijackals constantly move markers, and you need to know how to respond in healthier ways. Refusing to hold agreements or respect boundaries is emotional abuse in a relationship. Not acceptable, right? Know these distinctions and get very good...
Why Hijackals Demand Enmeshment
April 12, 2022 03:58 - 36 minutes - 29.3 MBSo confusing to be with a demanding person! Worse to be with a demanding Hijackal who feels entitled to take center stage while walking over you to do so. Recognize the signs of enmeshment and how they serve the Hijackal but fail to serve you. In fact, enmenstment can hurt you terribly, mentally and emotionally.. Beware of people who say "I know you better than you know yourself." Hijackals love to think that, and say it, too! Not only is it gaslighting, but is untrue. BUT, they need it to...
Cognitive Dissonance
April 05, 2022 05:33 - 34 minutes - 27.8 MBCrazy-making? Oh, yes. Hijackals and other narcissistic folks can create havoc. You start second-guessing yourself, and even questioning your sanity. You can't tell which end is up or where you begin and end, either. Cognitive Dissonance plays a big part! If your relationship causes you to feel anxious, be paralyzed by self-doubt, or have difficulty making clear decisions, you're likely experiencing frequent moments of cognitive dissonance. Not healthy! It's crazy-making. So important to ...
2 Crazy-Making Patterns Hijackals Use to Confuse
March 29, 2022 04:43 - 31 minutes - 25.2 MBHow do Hijackals make you second-guess yourself and question your sanity? Basic to them doing that is the two patterns in this episode of Save Your Sanity. Recognizing them in all their forms can help you in Escaping the Hijackal Trap. Hijackals are ALWAYS defending themselves, whether they need to or not. They are ALWAYS DEFENSIVE. Always on the alert for anything that could vaguely pass as shame coming their way. That makes for a volatile, tense person laying in wait to accuse of thing th...
8 Ways to Stand Up to Hijackal Disrespect
March 22, 2022 03:45 - 1 hour - 51.7 MBHijackals--those relentlessly difficult people--like to dish out and scatter disrespect whenever they want to demonstrate power and control. NO! That has to stop! In this episode, I'm offering you 8 solid ways to work within yourself and say NO TO DISRESPECT. Eight very good ways to reclaim your personal power and give voice to some boundaries. Listen in. These are MUCH NEEDED strategies! Respect means to have due regard for the feelings, wishes, rights, or traditions of others. Do Hijacka...
Recognizing the Emotional Abuse of Chronic Criticism
March 15, 2022 04:48 - 37 minutes - 30.4 MBLive with someone or raised by someone who was always finding fault? Always against something? Always putting you down? The wear and tear of these kinds of emotional abuse is immense...and continuous. See these ten chronic abuses you may not even realize are happening daily! Chronic criticism wears you down, tears you down, and gets you used to being put down. None of those are good things! If you had a Hijackal parent, and find yourself with a Hijackal partner, you'll have a lifetime of co...
6 Sad Ways Hijackals Abandon You...while you're with them!!!
March 08, 2022 05:36 - 32 minutes - 26.2 MBWonder why you feel so alone even though you're in a relationship? Hijackals--those relentlessly difficult, toxic folks--want to affect you, want to control how you feel. Abandoning you while with you creates a very lonely place. Notice these 6 ways so that you will be able to see them coming and not take them as personally. Hijackals are constantly searching for places to exert power and control. This episode will also help you to recognize that, although Hijackals make these things you're...