Out of My Mind in Costa Rica-Living with CPTSD

C-PTSD and Brain Fog - I Can See Clearly Now

Episode 37 C-PTSD and Brain Fog I Can See Clearly Now April 27, 2022 Today I want to talk about Brain Fog which Merriam-Webster defines as: "A usually temporary state of diminished mental capacity marked by an inability to concentrate or to think or reason clearly."This condition is characterized by excessive cognitive fatigue.” Well, that about sums it up for me. The past several months I have been really out of it and Brain Fog is the only explanation I have found that makes sense. I’v...

Episode 37: C-PTSD and Brain Fog - I Can See Clearly Now

Episode 37 C-PTSD and Brain Fog I Can See Clearly Now April 27, 2022 Today I want to talk about Brain Fog which Merriam-Webster defines as: "A usually temporary state of diminished mental capacity marked by an inability to concentrate or to think or reason clearly."This condition is characterized by excessive cognitive fatigue.” Well, that about sums it up for me. The past several months I have been really out of it and Brain Fog is the only explanation I have found that makes sense. I’v...

Episode 36: C-PTSD and Starting Over-With a Guest Appearance by Shame

Episode 36 C-PTSD and Starting Over…Again! Been Here Done That March 29, 2022 In this episode I am talking about starting over and I want you to know that it is NOT easy. I am 68 years old and after the crashing and burning of my marriage, I sit here, on the side of a hill in Costa Rica, contemplating the kind of new life I desire. I’m no spring chicken and my body reminds me of this on a daily basis if not an hourly basis. It is now a nightly routine to wake up at 3am needing to go to t...

C-PTSD and Starting Over-With a Guest Appearance by Shame

Episode 35: C-PTSD and My Expat LIfe - No Matter Where You Go, There You Are.

Episode 35 C-PTSD and My Expat Life No Matter Where You Go, There You Are. October 4, 2021 Shit! Has it been a month? I am so sorry, and I apologize for my lack of production lately. I am still working my way through the blues, but the sun is shining, the sky is blue, and another wonderful day is on the horizon. This week I am compelled to share a few things about how the hell I ended up in Costa Rica in the first place. I hope you are at least entertained by my musings, but what I reall...

C-PTSD and My Expat LIfe - No Matter Where You Go, There You Are.

Episode 35 C-PTSD and My Expat Life No Matter Where You Go, There You Are. October 4, 2021 Shit! Has it been a month? I am so sorry, and I apologize for my lack of production lately. I am still working my way through the blues, but the sun is shining, the sky is blue, and another wonderful day is on the horizon. This week I am compelled to share a few things about how the hell I ended up in Costa Rica in the first place. I hope you are at least entertained by my musings, but what I reall...

C-PTSD and Working Through the Blues - Mama Told Me There'd Be Days Like This

Episode 34 C-PTSD and Working Through the Blues Mama Told Me There’d Be Days Like This September 17, 2021 Yes, I am still working through the blues. What can I say? It is what it is, and this is my river, and this is how it is flowing at the moment. I don’t want to be a Donny Downer, but you decide for yourself. I am sharing a little bit about my process and what makes is work for me. Life seems to be a reminder that we need to keep on our toes and keep moving forward, wherever that may ...

Episode 34: C-PTSD and Working Through the Blues - Mama Told Me There'd Be Days Like This

Episode 34 C-PTSD and Working Through the Blues Mama Told Me There’d Be Days Like This September 17, 2021 Yes, I am still working through the blues. What can I say? It is what it is, and this is my river, and this is how it is flowing at the moment. I don’t want to be a Donny Downer, but you decide for yourself. I am sharing a little bit about my process and what makes is work for me. Life seems to be a reminder that we need to keep on our toes and keep moving forward, wherever that may ...

Episode 33 C-PTSD and Being Stuck in the Mud - Not The First Time, Probably Not The Last

Episode 33 C-PTSD and Being Stuck in the Mud Not the first time, probably  not the last. August 2, 2021 This week I am talking about being “stuck in the mud”. I’m spinning my wheels and I got no traction. It’s beginning to trouble me. The good news is that doing this podcast is regenerative for me. I know I have been really inconsistent these past couple of months, but I believe I am on the upswing after increasing my Fluoxetine to 40mg/day. This seems like an appropriate dose for the mo...

Episode 33: C-PTSD and Being Stuck in the Mud - Not The First Time, Probably Not The Last

Episode 33 C-PTSD and Being Stuck in the Mud Not the first time, probably  not the last. August 2, 2021 This week I am talking about being “stuck in the mud”. I’m spinning my wheels and I got no traction. It’s beginning to trouble me. The good news is that doing this podcast is regenerative for me. I know I have been really inconsistent these past couple of months, but I believe I am on the upswing after increasing my Fluoxetine to 40mg/day. This seems like an appropriate dose for the mo...

Episode 32: C-PTSD and Letting Go - Release and Find Peace

Episode 32 C-PTSD and Letting Go Release and Find Peace August 27, 2021 Today’s episode I am talking about letting it go. Everyone says this, but what the heck does it actually entail? How does one let go of experiences that have been buried to the bone? Well, I take a stab at this topic today, and I hope you will find it engaging and moves you to let go. Even if a little bit. A little bit is better than not at all. Poco a poco. Una cosa por vez. As usual I have discovered some wonderfu...

C-PTSD and Letting Go - Release and Find Peace

Episode 32 C-PTSD and Letting Go Release and Find Peace August 27, 2021 Today’s episode I am talking about letting it go. Everyone says this, but what the heck does it actually entail? How does one let go of experiences that have been buried to the bone? Well, I take a stab at this topic today, and I hope you will find it engaging and moves you to let go. Even if a little bit. A little bit is better than not at all. Poco a poco. Una cosa por vez. As usual I have discovered some wonderfu...

Episode 31 C-PTSD and Empathy

Episode 31 C-PTSD and Empathy The Role of Empathy in Healing C-PTSD July 29, 2021 This week I am talking about Empathy. You know, the power to be with the feelings, thoughts, and experiences of another. It’s a special trait that everyone should work on developing as much as possible. Empathy is the glue that holds relationships together. No empathy, no relationship. It’s that simple. Here’s a sweet article on listening. Remember, listening is loving. 5 Simple Keys to Helping Your Partn...

Episode 31: C-PTSD and Empathy

Episode 31 C-PTSD and Empathy The Role of Empathy in Healing C-PTSD July 29, 2021 This week I am talking about Empathy. You know, the power to be with the feelings, thoughts, and experiences of another. It’s a special trait that everyone should work on developing as much as possible. Empathy is the glue that holds relationships together. No empathy, no relationship. It’s that simple. Here’s a sweet article on listening. Remember, listening is loving. 5 Simple Keys to Helping Your Partn...

Episode 30 C-PTSD and Friendships - A Friend in Need is a Friend Indeed

Episode 30   C-PTSD and Friendships   A Friend in Need is a Friend Indeed   July 11, 2021   I recently have been in email contact with a dear old friend. A friend who also happens to have been my friend since 1984 when I was working at the Sacramento Children’s Home. He was a group home social worker at the time, and I was preparing to get into graduate school. We hit it off right away and were fast friends until, over 30 years later, he too became the victim of one of my emotional flash...

Episode 30: C-PTSD and Friendships - A Friend in Need is a Friend Indeed

Episode 30   C-PTSD and Friendships   A Friend in Need is a Friend Indeed   July 11, 2021   I recently have been in email contact with a dear old friend. A friend who also happens to have been my friend since 1984 when I was working at the Sacramento Children’s Home. He was a group home social worker at the time, and I was preparing to get into graduate school. We hit it off right away and were fast friends until, over 30 years later, he too became the victim of one of my emotional flash...

C-PTSD and Complicated Grief - Am I Being Redundant?

Episode 29 C-PTSD and Complicated Grief - Am I Being Redundant? June 20, 2021 Today’s episode is about what I call Complicated Grief. Let me say this about complicated grief, it’s complicate and it’s that simple. The past couple of weeks have I have been submerged into a pool of depression with little energy and zero motivation. My mind, of course has been plenty active and I began to think about the depth of the depression I was feeling felt like more than simply depression and I reached...

Episode 29: C-PTSD and Complicated Grief - Am I Being Redundant?

Episode 29 C-PTSD and Complicated Grief - Am I Being Redundant? June 20, 2021 Today’s episode is about what I call Complicated Grief. Let me say this about complicated grief, it’s complicate and it’s that simple. The past couple of weeks have I have been submerged into a pool of depression with little energy and zero motivation. My mind, of course has been plenty active and I began to think about the depth of the depression I was feeling felt like more than simply depression and I reached...

Episode 28: C-PTSD and Recovering from COVID - You seriously do not want to get this virus.

Episode 28 C-PTSD and Recovering from COVID You seriously do not want to get this virus. June 2, 2021 Well, it now appears I am not just under the influence of COVID-19. I am clinically depressed. Isn’t that just peachy? So, I thought it would be helpful to add some information about depression just in case the pandemic has also given you the blues.  You may want to go back and listen to Episode 15: C-PTSD and Depression. There is some good stuff about depression in that podcast. Gary G...

COVD -19 Part II - Buckle Your Seatbelt

Episode 27 COVD -19 Part II Buckle Your Seatbelt May 24, 2021 I’ve been sick for the better part of the last 10 days and today I am telling you all the nitty-gritty details. What was I sick with? It turned out to be COVID-19. It has been a hell of a week and I am grateful to be feeling 10,000% better today. Besides being sick, I was given permission to read a letter from a new listener and I am introducing a new Sponsor; Out of My Mind Art at www.outofmymindart.com Out of My Mind Art is...

Episode 27: C-PTSD and COVID -19 Part II - Buckle Your Seatbelt

Episode 27 CPTSD and COVID -19 Part II Buckle Your Seatbelt May 24, 2021 I’ve been sick for the better part of the last 10 days and today I am telling you all the nitty-gritty details. What was I sick with? It turned out to be COVID-19. It has been a hell of a week and I am grateful to be feeling 10,000% better today. Besides being sick, I was given permission to read a letter from a new listener and I am introducing a new Sponsor; Out of My Mind Art at www.outofmymindart.com Out of My ...

C-PTSD and COVID-19 I’m Fully Vaccinated-Now What?

Episode 26 C-PTSD and COVID-19 I’m Fully Vaccinated-Now What? May 13, 2021 In this week’s episode I talk about how the pandemic has impacted me and what role did Complex-Post Traumatic Stress play in how I am managing my experience with COVID-19. For me, I take it one day at a time and on occasion, I take it one hour at a time or one minute at a time. For me the key is to be mindful and if you forget, that’s alright you can always return to being mindful any time you realize you were not...

Episode 26: C-PTSD and COVID-19 I’m Fully Vaccinated-Now What?

Episode 26 C-PTSD and COVID-19 I’m Fully Vaccinated-Now What? May 13, 2021 In this week’s episode I talk about how the pandemic has impacted me and what role did Complex-Post Traumatic Stress play in how I am managing my experience with COVID-19. For me, I take it one day at a time and on occasion, I take it one hour at a time or one minute at a time. For me the key is to be mindful and if you forget, that’s alright you can always return to being mindful any time you realize you were not...

Episode 25: C-PTSD and Baby Steps - Am I Feeling Better or Is It Prozac?

Episode 25 C-PTSD and Baby Steps Am I Feeling Better or Is It Prozac? April 29, 2021  In this episode, I am talking about feeling better on a more consistent way. This enhancement in my mood also corresponds to the window of effectiveness for Fluoxetine which is better known as Prozac. It doesn’t matter to me because the experience of feeling better is motivating regardless of it’s source. My role is to build on that emotional and cognitive shift taking place into a better world for myse...

C-PTSD and Baby Steps - Am I Feeling Better or Is It Prozac?

Episode 25 C-PTSD and Baby Steps Am I Feeling Better or Is It Prozac? April 29, 2021  In this episode, I am talking about feeling better on a more consistent way. This enhancement in my mood also corresponds to the window of effectiveness for Fluoxetine which is better known as Prozac. It doesn’t matter to me because the experience of feeling better is motivating regardless of it’s source. My role is to build on that emotional and cognitive shift taking place into a better world for myse...

Episode 24: C-PTSD and Anger - The Ugly Underbelly of Complex PTSD

Episode 24 C-PTSD and Anger The Ugly Underbelly of Complex PTSD April 22, 2021 Today I am talking about anger and if you have C-PTSD, then you know anger. It’s not that you feel angry, but more that you look beneath your anger to the vulnerable parts of yourself. Today I try to give you an idea of the roots of my anger and the impact of growing up within an incest family. There is surprisingly little written on the relationship between C-PTSD or PTSD and anger, even though angry outburst...

C-PTSD and Anger - The Ugly Underbelly of Complex PTSD

Episode 24 C-PTSD and Anger The Ugly Underbelly of Complex PTSD April 22, 2021 Today I am talking about anger and if you have C-PTSD, then you know anger. It’s not that you feel angry, but more that you look beneath your anger to the vulnerable parts of yourself. Today I try to give you an idea of the roots of my anger and the impact of growing up within an incest family. There is surprisingly little written on the relationship between C-PTSD or PTSD and anger, even though angry outburst...

C-PTSD and Perseverance

Episode 23   C-PTSD and Perseverance Keep on Truckin’ April 15, 2021 Today’s focus is perseverance, something I believe many of you will relate to. I bring this up this week because the road has been a bit difficult to traverse over the past few weeks. I believe I am coming out the other side of darkness, thanks to my persistent perseverance. I am sure you have done your fair share of persevering which will make today’s episode of Out of My Mind in Costa Rica particularly interesting. Co...

Episode 23: C-PTSD and Perseverance

Episode 23   C-PTSD and Perseverance Keep on Truckin’ April 15, 2021 Today’s focus is perseverance, something I believe many of you will relate to. I bring this up this week because the road has been a bit difficult to traverse over the past few weeks. I believe I am coming out the other side of darkness, thanks to my persistent perseverance. I am sure you have done your fair share of persevering which will make today’s episode of Out of My Mind in Costa Rica particularly interesting. Co...

What's Going On? - Emotional Overwhelm

Episode 22 What’s Going On? Emotional Overwhelm April 8, 2021 Today’s episode is no more than a brief explanation about why I have been MIA the past couple of weeks. I know there may be a few of you who may be concerned, and I want to set you mind at ease. Unfortunately, I don’t have the energy to give you any resource links this week, but if my plan goes well, I will be back next week with a full-length episode for your listening pleasure. Thank you for your ongoing support and underst...

Episode 22: What's Going On? - Emotional Overwhelm

Episode 22 What’s Going On? Emotional Overwhelm April 8, 2021 Today’s episode is no more than a brief explanation about why I have been MIA the past couple of weeks. I know there may be a few of you who may be concerned, and I want to set you mind at ease. Unfortunately, I don’t have the energy to give you any resource links this week, but if my plan goes well, I will be back next week with a full-length episode for your listening pleasure. Thank you for your ongoing support and underst...

Episode 21: C-PTSD and More Grief - And The Grief Goes On

Episode 22 C-PTSD and More Grief And the Grief Goes On March 25, 2021 Yeah, the grief continued all through this week. Remember last week when I talked about grief has no time restrictions? Well, last week really proved this to be true. Last week’s episode I focused on the 5 Stages of Grief and how you too will go through these stages, even if it is for the loss of your favorite fountain pen.  This week was more like surviving the grief and I tell you all about it in this week’s episode...

C-PTSD and More Grief - And The Grief Goes On

Episode 22 C-PTSD and More Grief And the Grief Goes On March 25, 2021 Yeah, the grief continued all through this week. Remember last week when I talked about grief has no time restrictions? Well, last week really proved this to be true. Last week’s episode I focused on the 5 Stages of Grief and how you too will go through these stages, even if it is for the loss of your favorite fountain pen.  This week was more like surviving the grief and I tell you all about it in this week’s episode...

Episode 20: C-PTSD and Grief - The Unrelenting Shadow of Complex Trauma

Episode 20 C-PTSD and Grief Grief-The Unrelenting Shadow of Complex Trauma March 18, 2021 Elisabeth Kübler-Ross brought clarity to the grief process when she identified the 5-Stages of Grief. Regardless of the culture, all grieving people experience these 5 stages. Grief applies not only to human losses, but inanimate objects as well. Let me illustrate how I grieved the loss of my favorite ink pen. It’s not just any pen, it was a perfect pen. I paid a lot of money for that pen and I had ...

C-PTSD and Grief - The Unrelenting Shadow of Complex Trauma

Episode 20 C-PTSD and Grief Grief-The Unrelenting Shadow of Complex Trauma March 18, 2021 Elisabeth Kübler-Ross brought clarity to the grief process when she identified the 5-Stages of Grief. Regardless of the culture, all grieving people experience these 5 stages. Grief applies not only to human losses, but inanimate objects as well. Let me illustrate how I grieved the loss of my favorite ink pen. It’s not just any pen, it was a perfect pen. I paid a lot of money for that pen and I had ...

C-PTSD and Communication - Good Communication Communicates

Episode 19 C-PTSD and Communication Good Communication Communicates March 11, 2021 Would you like to improve your communication? Here are Four simple steps that will make an immediate impact. Implement these strategies into your repertoire and life will get better. Stay in your own lane. You can’t speak for the other person. You can only speak to your own needs, your own wants, and your own desires. Keep in mind that it the responsibility of the speaker to be clear, and it is the respon...

Episode 19: C-PTSD and Communication - Good Communication Communicates

Episode 19 C-PTSD and Communication Good Communication Communicates March 11, 2021 Would you like to improve your communication? Here are Four simple steps that will make an immediate impact. Implement these strategies into your repertoire and life will get better. Stay in your own lane. You can’t speak for the other person. You can only speak to your own needs, your own wants, and your own desires. Keep in mind that it the responsibility of the speaker to be clear, and it is the respon...

Episode 18: C-PTSD and Cannabis

Episode 18 C-PTSD and Cannabis Don’t Bogart that Joint My Friend March 4, 2021 Today I am going to share with you my 50+ year love affair with cannabis. I first began smoking cannabis in January 1970 and I never looked back. Beginning as freshman at Western Michigan and continuing through today. I have never tired of the experience of being under its influence. So, you might ask, “Why are you not smoking for the month of March?” I don’t have a big answer to that. It just seemed like a go...

C-PTSD and Cannabis

Episode 18 C-PTSD and Cannabis Don’t Bogart that Joint My Friend March 4, 2021 Today I am going to share with you my 50+ year love affair with cannabis. I first began smoking cannabis in January 1970 and I never looked back. Beginning as freshman at Western Michigan and continuing through today. I have never tired of the experience of being under its influence. So, you might ask, “Why are you not smoking for the month of March?” I don’t have a big answer to that. It just seemed like a go...

C-PTSD and Co-Dependency - Boundaries and Limits, Limits and Boundaries

Episode 17 C-PTSD and Co-Dependency Boundaries and Limits, Limits and Boundaries February 25, 2021 Today I do my best to stay focused on my life as a Super Co-Dependent. I was born into co-dependency and literally had no choice but to become incredibly good at being co-dependent. Everybody’s needs were more important than mine. I was fluent in phrases like, “Your wish is my command.” “Happy Wife, Happy Life” and my personal favorite from The Princess Bride, “As You Wish.” Simply put, co-...

Episode 17: C-PTSD and Co-Dependency - Boundaries and Limits, Limits and Boundaries

Episode 17 C-PTSD and Co-Dependency Boundaries and Limits, Limits and Boundaries February 25, 2021 Today I do my best to stay focused on my life as a Super Co-Dependent. I was born into co-dependency and literally had no choice but to become incredibly good at being co-dependent. Everybody’s needs were more important than mine. I was fluent in phrases like, “Your wish is my command.” “Happy Wife, Happy Life” and my personal favorite from The Princess Bride, “As You Wish.” Simply put, co-...

C-PTSD and Solitude - The Therapeutic Use of Solitude for Survivors of Complex Trauma

Episode 16 C-PTSD and Solitude The Therapeutic Use of Solitude for Survivors of Complex Trauma February 20, 2021 I know, I’m late. I missed my self-imposed deadline, but this week has been quite the week and I tell you all about it this week’s episode. I have been craving solitude for a long time which meant, in my case, I needed to be on my own, completely. I have been on my own since November, last year and I am just now beginning to feel grounded. C-PTSD steals our lives out from und...

Episode 16: C-PTSD and Solitude - The Therapeutic Use of Solitude for Survivors of Complex Trauma

Episode 16 C-PTSD and Solitude The Therapeutic Use of Solitude for Survivors of Complex Trauma February 20, 2021 I know, I’m late. I missed my self-imposed deadline, but this week has been quite the week and I tell you all about it this week’s episode. I have been craving solitude for a long time which meant, in my case, I needed to be on my own, completely. I have been on my own since November, last year and I am just now beginning to feel grounded. C-PTSD steals our lives out from und...

C-PTSD and Depression - Don't Fight It, Embrace It!

Episode 15 C-PTSD and Depression Don't Fight It. Embrace It! February 11, 2021 Today’s episode is about depression, Major Depression to be exact and the role it has played in my life and how it is entwined deeply into the fabric of C-PTSD and PTSD. You can’t have these conditions and not be depressed. I hope today’s podcast helps some of you to ease your load a bit and take steps towards healing. It’s late and I’m tired and it’s good enough. I found Psycom.net had a nice approach to how...

Episode 15: C-PTSD and Depression - Don't Fight It, Embrace It!

Episode 15 C-PTSD and Depression Don't Fight It. Embrace It! February 11, 2021 Today’s episode is about depression, Major Depression to be exact and the role it has played in my life and how it is entwined deeply into the fabric of C-PTSD and PTSD. You can’t have these conditions and not be depressed. I hope today’s podcast helps some of you to ease your load a bit and take steps towards healing. It’s late and I’m tired and it’s good enough. I found Psycom.net had a nice approach to how...

Episode 14: C-PTSD and Self-Love - The Care and Feeding of Your Soul

Episode 14 C-PTSD and Self-Love The Care and Feeding of Your Soul Today’s episode is about surviving the storm and building a safe harbor for yourself. I provide an update from last week’s episode where I read a heartfelt letter I planned to send to my wife. I also talk about realizing that the problems go much deeper than I anticipated. In addition, the weather has been windy, windy, windy and in order to deal with all of this I have been hunkering down inside and going out only when it ...

C-PTSD and Self-Love - The Care and Feeding of Your Soul

Episode 14 C-PTSD and Self-Love The Care and Feeding of Your Soul Today’s episode is about surviving the storm and building a safe harbor for yourself. I provide an update from last week’s episode where I read a heartfelt letter I planned to send to my wife. I also talk about realizing that the problems go much deeper than I anticipated. In addition the weather has been windy, windy, windy and order to deal with all of this I have been hunkering down inside and going out only when it is n...

C-PTSD and Patience - Staying Grounded, Positive and Hopeful

C-PTSD and Patience Staying Grounded, Positive and Hopeful This week has been a bit up and down, with a lot more down than up. This gives me an opportunity to talk with you about these mood swings and what works for me. In addition to that, I talk about my wife’s response to the letter I wrote last week. You know, the one I read to you.  Much of today’s episode is focused on taking care of myself, mainly because that is what I needed to do this week. It wasn’t totally a bummer. I had a su...

Episode 13: C-PTSD and Patience - Staying Grounded, Positive and Hopeful

C-PTSD and Patience Staying Grounded, Positive and Hopeful This week has been a bit up and down, with a lot more down than up. This gives me an opportunity to talk with you about these mood swings and what works for me. In addition to that, I talk about my wife’s response to the letter I wrote last week. You know, the one I read to you.  Much of today’s episode is focused on taking care of myself, mainly because that is what I needed to do this week. It wasn’t totally a bummer. I had a su...

Episode 12: C-PTSD and Moving On - Be Here, Be Now. One Day at a Time

Season 1, Episode 12 C-PTSD and Moving On – Be Here. Be Now. One Day at a Time January 21, 2021 It is looking more and more like I will be on my own for quite a while. This week I continue to process what is going on in my life. I share my final email to my wife in hopes she will be able to read it with an open heart and mind. We have our 3rd and hopefully final meeting with Migración, Costa Rica´s equivalent to Immigration in the US. We have been working on this since before we moved to...