COMEDY

PARADISO

June 15, 2022 10:54 - 53 seconds - 851 KB

I was having breakfast from a cheap cafe overlooking a piece of small purgatory where a young woman was living on the street under an umbrella in the shop doorway when suddenly she awoke relieved herself on a blue bucket and threw it into the street and then began begging from the passing early morning trade whilst I ate blue berries even though at the moment I am in poverty earning very little money there is always someone to let me know that am in paradise compared to them. --- Send in a...

LOVE AFFAIR

June 11, 2022 21:38 - 4 minutes - 3.77 MB

A tune I wrote about Lily my god daughter who was having a love affair with the fridge sticking everything on their as if it be a long white work of art or the empty walls of her heart 💖 --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/steven-richardson6/message

EMANCIPATION

June 01, 2022 13:08 - 2 minutes - 2.39 MB

Walking into a very expensive veggie vegan boutique i listened to the sermon of a spiritual salesman it felt as if you we're about to sign papers for adoption the high priest of the Celtic druids worshipped his wild woodland produce I got the uneasy feeling that my blood was going be sacrificed under an oak tree called Zeus after i touched a sacred sprig of his mistletoe obviously punishable by pain of death . --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/steven-richardson6/message

AULD LANG SYNE

May 23, 2022 13:31 - 3 minutes - 3.16 MB

A song I wrote today after seeing an old Keltic companion I haven't seen for a decade a true blue eyed raven headed Bretagne . The Romans drove them to the furthest reaches of the kingdom so did Edward long shanks hammer of the scots who also stole their ancient kings destiny stone and put it under his own throne Then By the act of supremacy Henry VIII made himself a god figure to rule over all kingdoms , and so you can understand by what they did why the Keltic people feel quite a mistrust t...

LOVE'S A FOOL

May 21, 2022 17:22 - 2 minutes - 2.45 MB

A cynical love song . My Family members were 1920s dyed-in-the-wool Yorkshiremen who believed that love be measured in pounds Shillings and pence and behind the white picket fence was a work house specially built to keep wife wain or wench who had a value similar to that of blood stock and foul , children being merely chattels without soul . --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/steven-richardson6/message

THE KIT-KAT CLUB

May 17, 2022 15:57 - 25 minutes - 24 MB

A short story based upon real life events of my childhood at the time they felt terrifying but now looking back they are the source of amusement for writing. Blue bloods are quite simply mad !! , they treat normal reality as an inconvenient triviality , rules to them don't exist and the rest of mere mortality are kept around as fluffers for their joviality in what's usually a porno drama of pansexuality . --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/steven-richardson6/message

THE TRAMP

May 02, 2022 13:57 - 14 minutes - 13.7 MB

A short story based on real life events when I first ever traveled abroad to France and we lived like tramps on the street washing in fountains stealing food from shops as vagrants and vagabonds until somebody came up with a great idea of putting together the tramps brigade who lived on the swamp in cap d'age the next thing we were all assigned duties and discipline --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/steven-richardson6/message

STALIN

April 18, 2022 19:17 - 23 minutes - 21.6 MB

A short humorous story I wrote about a man who was carrying a vicarious redemption on behalf of something else a burdensome task which was only relinquished by his death where upon he was given the cold cruel truth by his absent minded time lord who tries to make amends but far too late . --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/steven-richardson6/message

SPY GIRL

April 14, 2022 18:35 - 3 minutes - 3.2 MB

Krystyana Skarbek was a polish beauty queen come countess and the longest serving spy in Churchill's SOE , with a life expectancy of six weeks she lasted seven years as a field agent fighting against Nazi tyranny only then to be betrayed by her own trusted powers that be , Britain with a stroke of their Judas pen turned her into a refugee and also leaked her name to Stalin's newly formed KGB , on the day that she was due to fly out to be married and finally set free she was stabbed fa...

THE HANGOVER

February 23, 2022 18:07 - 2 minutes - 2.37 MB

A whale song dream turns out to be the squealing brake drums of a distant dust truck it's sound distorted by gusting wind singing through ginnel and garret , bin lids cymbal into the sensitivity of your sobriety announcing the arrival of an unwanted monday morning's anxiety. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/steven-richardson6/message

ELVIS PRESLEY

February 22, 2022 17:07 - 3 minutes - 3.05 MB

A poem for the king of rock and roll he was born into extreme poverty raised in a shotgun shack but managed not only to break out of that but also to attack the apartheid of America he was one of the first to start singing the black man's blues , he went from busking as a bum on Beale Street to having the world worshipping at his feet --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/steven-richardson6/message

THE BELLS ANGELS

February 14, 2022 20:07 - 1 minute - 1.74 MB

The Belles Angels a bunch of hell raising Harrogate girls all leather and lace they murdered every midnight hour slaking an slaughtering sobriety , to all those super sexy Ladies college girls I say God bless you all . --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/steven-richardson6/message

EULOGY

January 14, 2022 12:45 - 2 minutes - 1.97 MB

A eulogy I wrote for my dear friend David , who I've known forty years he passed away sadly with is grandson sat at his bedside day after day pleading for him not to die but his time had come. Grandfathers are like old sentinels that stand guard over us in our early infant years , stolid as grandfather clocks their old heavy hearts pendulum a rhythm of life to our new born ears, A mortal metronome that keeps a steady beat to the timpani of our tiny pattering feet --- Send in a voi...

FUDGE FONDUE

January 04, 2022 15:32 - 3 minutes - 2.84 MB

A song I wrote whilst looking at the selection of sapiens on a train station I was wondering if we mixed all of them together as if they were paint in a garden shed, would we all end up resembling some khaki olive coloured bread or maybe a DNA glue that resembles a fudge fondue . All rights reserved --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/steven-richardson6/message

THE BOOZE CRUISE

December 31, 2021 16:50 - 2 minutes - 1.98 MB

A little ditty I wrote as a final song for 2021 new year's eve , after watching solders marching up and down at the nearby army base I was thinking if covid turned everything up side down how we may have had a Marshall law military lockdown , I've done it in a military two step rhythm with the emphasis and accent on that very final beat of attention as if stamping the foot of authority down but still to a humorous tune. All rights reserved. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/st...

SEX APPEAL

December 29, 2021 18:17 - 3 minutes - 3.54 MB

A little tune I wrote for my father over the Christmas period he still listens to all the old crooners like Frank Sinatra Matt Monro an Bing Crosby they all seem to have that lazy lullaby lilt famous in the fifties before Rock an Roll knocked them out of the park, I suppose when I'm at ninety five years of age I will probably still be singing to Motown , I've done my best to write an sing it in that old crooners style . all rights reserved. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/st...

SWEET AN SOUR

December 28, 2021 16:41 - 1 minute - 1.48 MB

A little tune I wrote its an impromptu improvisation using a few Chinese fourths and a little bit of blues to give it that sweet an Sour feel please excuse the sound quality my old piano has seen better days and so have I so have i it's also recorded straight into a mobile phone . --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/steven-richardson6/message

MUSTANG MAN

December 16, 2021 17:17 - 2 minutes - 2.39 MB

A song I wrote with a slight american twang for Big Manchester Pete the hardest looking man you were ever likely to meet his face was made for a trick or treat but inside he carried a big old heart that was softer than a boiled swede of sugar beet . All rights reserved --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/steven-richardson6/message

SONG FOR JOJO

December 01, 2021 08:33 - 1 minute - 1.82 MB

A song I wrote for a crazy young girl who's beauty could have caused Aphrodite to scream a blue rage of jealously and it was fairly obvious to see her maker man was OCD and once you're under her spell you just can't break free . all rights reserved. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/steven-richardson6/message

SONG FOR NINA

November 28, 2021 16:54 - 2 minutes - 2.09 MB

A song I wrote for Nina's birthday she's lock down with covid and the kids a soft swing song to say we all do love you take care xx All rights reserved. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/steven-richardson6/message

CORONAVIRUS

November 24, 2021 20:18 - 3 minutes - 3.22 MB

A poem written for a sibling son whose quest for frolic and fun wedge hatred in-between his brothers love by what he'd gone and done , it's difficult to understand the parable of the prodigal son especially if you're looking through the eyes of the other hard working one who through restraint and strive hath managed with diligent life toiled and tilled the farm in order to fill empty bellies and winter barn now back without a crumb returns the squandering sibling pun doubtless to take the fam...

THE LONG LOST FRIEND

November 19, 2021 20:17 - 1 minute - 1.69 MB

I wrote this little ditty after listening to a dear friend who's a lay preacher telling me that i may not be entering into the kingdom of heaven , i answered by stating that i did not want to go to heaven and he asked why surprised stating did i want to go to hell ? , i mentioned i would be quite happy to remain in limbo or purgatory rather than enter into the either where billions upon billions of souls from our past bitter waring human beings would be residing ; after experiencing the en...

THE BELLES ANGELS

November 18, 2021 13:19 - 2 minutes - 1.92 MB

The Belles Angels a song I wrote for a bunch of hell raising Harrogate girls all leather and lace they murdered every midnight hour slaking an slaughtering sobriety , to all those super sexy Ladies college girls I say God bless you all . All rights reserved. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/steven-richardson6/message

ROCKING TO WOKING

November 13, 2021 19:39 - 1 minute - 1.72 MB

A short song i wrote about riding aboard the busiest train in Europe the 7.32 Woking to Waterloo one hundred million passengers a year pass through Waterloo which makes for some terrifying or tantalising flesh to flesh points of view . All rights reserved. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/steven-richardson6/message

SONG FOR SUPERTRAMP

November 10, 2021 09:59 - 2 minutes - 2.22 MB

This is a song I wrote for supertramp a friend who became homeless through drink one of the Montpellier mice , our band of bonhomie brothers who lived with such reckless abandonment to the stage where some would drink your bathroom cabinet dry aftershave aperitifs and cough medicine cognacs all round. Three days a week I take a coffee with the alcoholics I wrote this song whilst looking across at a homeless person living in a doorway of an abandoned gallery and think how fragile we are . All ...

COLETTE

November 06, 2021 20:30 - 2 minutes - 2.72 MB

This is a short song I wrote for Colette's birthday she's an angel faced florist who works out of a norman church on a country estate, surrounded by angelic statues all halos and wings adding to this heavenly scene is her being bathed and baptized in the divine light from the stain glassed windows along with the scent from the flowers you think you've arrived at the garden of Eden, but then again when she puts on her leather and lace and hits the town well that's a different story , A Saturda...

My Kingdom for a Horse

November 06, 2021 20:30 - 17 minutes - 7.98 MB

A short story I wrote about doing a favour for a friend which then turned into a terrifying experience of trying to get back to some semblance of civilization . --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/steven-richardson6/message

The Green Dream

November 06, 2021 20:29 - 9 minutes - 4.33 MB

A short musing about a chalk and cheese Husband and wife with very opposing opinions on the arrival of some neo hippie neighbours with their green dream machine . --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/steven-richardson6/message

Chiquitita

November 06, 2021 20:29 - 1 minute - 1.39 MB

A little Ditty for Unis the Philipino irish girl who worked at the crown hotel and blew the minds and trousers of all those old pensioners from the Harrogate rotary club . --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/steven-richardson6/message

MY KINGDOM FOR A HORSE

November 06, 2021 20:28 - 17 minutes - 7.93 MB

A short story I wrote about doing a favour for a friend which then turned into a terrifying experience of trying to get back to some semblance of civilization . #Poesía#Poésie#Poësie#الشعر#কবিতা#Poeziju#Поезия#詩歌#诗歌#Poezija#Poezie#Poesi#شعر#Poëzie#Luule#Serekali#tula#Runous#Ποίηση#કવિતા#Pwezi#שירה#कविता#Paj Huam#Költészet#Ljóð#Puisi#Filíocht#詩#시#Puisi#Thơ#Şiir#شاعری#บท กวี#Mashairi#Поезії#Поэзии --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/steven-richardson6/message

SUSPICIOUS MINDS

November 06, 2021 20:28 - 1 minute - 1.08 MB

Two Haiku Poems. 1 Suspicious minds. 2 Blood river . --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/steven-richardson6/message

BIG JUDD

November 06, 2021 20:27 - 1 minute - 1.85 MB

In the 1980s Yorkshire towns were all male prowess, which usually ment attempting a liquid suicide of drink each night to show your tribe what a man you were , It ended with some terrible casualties. The Yorkshire accent is extremely harsh and to most people I would think almost incomprehensible good luck . --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/steven-richardson6/message

Grand Prix

November 06, 2021 20:27 - 2 minutes - 1.91 MB

Some people have nerves of real titanium steel fear to them well it never comes near , where hells angels fear to tread these chaps run in on a code red . Looking over the shoulder of a passenger come CoPilot I noticed we were doing 112 miles per hour the driver had the audacity to turn and tell is terrified passenger to "stop jumping about you're scaring me to death " . --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/steven-richardson6/message

RED WINE

November 06, 2021 20:26 - 57 seconds - 907 KB

I asked of a dear friend of mine a Catholic priest about red wine "if it be the blood of Christ how come it strengthens the sinners and weakens the saints" he was quite taken aback but then again both of us were floating on red wine at the time. The second haiku poem is about a quotation from George Carlin who stated that cynics are disappointed idealists I retorted back to my friend stating that idealists can pontificate from the privileged position of having the freedom to do so . --- S...

My Computer's Caught Chlamydia

November 06, 2021 20:26 - 1 minute - 960 KB

A short minute musing about how if you infect a friend's computer with a virus they treat it as if you have infected them with the clap . --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/steven-richardson6/message

PERDITION

October 28, 2021 08:46 - 2 minutes - 1.88 MB

All Medieval religions outlawed usury as a sin, profit of any kind wasn't allowed it still stands as a judgement against you today the road to PERDITION is going to be litered with alot of the righteous as well as the devil's detritus . --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/steven-richardson6/message

APERITIF

October 28, 2021 08:45 - 2 minutes - 2.14 MB

A poem for supertramp who had a unique way of curing his halitosis by drinking your aftershave as well as the rest of your bathroom cabinet dry. Beware beware of the ambre solaire . --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/steven-richardson6/message

WINE TASTING

October 27, 2021 18:10 - 2 minutes - 1.95 MB

A musing about wine , If you ever you're invited to a sommelier's soiree then you'll find that a lot of the wine tasting terminology sounds quite bizarre almost perverse at times a lot of the men sound as if pontificating about their ex lovers with phrases such as necking with a couple of Frenchie's or being tanned across the tonsils, all leathered and meaty, smoking a chocolate cigar a fast finisher a cheeky sharpener foxy and flamboyant very strange but they all have real meaning that the s...

My Kingdom for a Horse

October 23, 2021 16:19 - 17 minutes - 7.98 MB

A short story I wrote about doing a favour for a friend which then turned into a terrifying experience of trying to get back to some semblance of civilization . --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/steven-richardson6/message

COCK ROBIN

October 17, 2021 04:57 - 1 minute - 1.7 MB

Emblazoned bright upon his breast he carries that noble heraldic crest , tis the colour of blood and fire be it a blessed response to his lovers desire, suspicion states that he was at the passion of christ , an there by thorny crown was blooded an blessed , is this why today he doth still sanctify the arrival of our christmas fest . --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/steven-richardson6/message

TITANIC

October 16, 2021 10:36 - 3 minutes - 3.08 MB

Being at sea aboard huge luxury vessels is very glamorous and as a skipper come captain it is so easy to be wined and dined each evening by billionaires with the finest foods and drink the only drawback is that you steadily become an old soak, I worked alongside many captains who became just that, thinking back to a collision at night with JJ the skipper and a refugee boat he had got drunk with a stewardess and gone to bed leaving the vessel on autopilot the similarities to Titanic are on a m...

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